#and yet it (almost) makes complete sense and is completely conducive to the exact story that he was trying to tell

[howtotrainyouragents]

It is infuriating how absurdly simple the One Piece world design is, yet how it completely holds up to the entire story

[elphenfan]

Wall of Love 1/?

Inspired by a ‘prompt’ off pinterest. I meant for this to be a oneshot and then...I wrote a lot because...me. So as not to make the one person asking wait for too long, we’ll do this in chapters. -------------------------------------------

It happened…when he least expected it.

Of course, that would imply that he, at some level, however infinitesimally small it might be, had expected it, and he could say that he hadn’t expected it at all with conviction and complete honesty.

How could he, after all? It wasn’t the sort of thing you ran into.

Ran into. Quite literally. How very droll.

The fact of the matter was that he had indeed quite physically run into it. Alright, so perhaps he had walked rather than run but that was rather beside the point, he would have thought. He had still walked straight into it, literally and metaphorically, and he hadn’t known what had hit him.

There. Had he managed to express enough modern idioms for it to get across sufficiently?

At least, he didn’t know until much later, and then he had known quite a lot of things all at once. The story about how all of that unfolded goes something like this, give or take a few details omitted or changed slightly.

 --------------------------------

Aziraphale hummed to himself as he walked, feeling in a particular good mood.

Of course, he had been in a general sort of good mood for some time at this point in time. It was hard not to be, considering. Even when Crowley treated the bookshop as his personal bedroom and went to sleep in the oddest of places. If it had at least been limited to horizontal places, then…

To be honest, though, that was something of a bonus. It meant that people who saw him were more likely to shun the bookshop and to tell their friends as well, and it gave Aziraphale more of an excuse to keep the shop shut so as not to disturb the sleeping demon.

Not that he needed extra excuses, of course.

But the addition of Crowley as a more or less permanent resident in the shop and in his life was enough to warrant a good mood whatever happened. No matter what mood he was in, what the overlaying mood was, as it were, the underlying mood was always one of contentment and happiness.

The foundation, you might say. Unassailable and unshakable.

Well, nearly.

If there was one fly in the ointment, to borrow an expression, then it was that –

No. That was not an issue and certainly no fly. He had asked about it and had got an answer. The fact that it might not be the answer he would’ve liked to hear did not mean it was an issue or a problem. Not at all, and he ought to be ashamed that he could as much as conceive the notion.

What he had was far more than he could’ve asked for, in any case, and he could not say he wasn’t over the moon with all that he had gained after…after That Saturday. What they had gained.

That had and would always far outstrip anything else.

One thing that he particularly enjoyed was getting to do small things for the demon, whether he noticed them or not. If he did notice them, though, he would splutter and bluster and try to keep his composure. To keep cool, as Aziraphale believed he’d put it, though the blond was at a loss to see what the point was. Then again, he always had struggled with seeing that sort of thing, though he knew it mattered to Crowley.

Interestingly, though, no matter how much bluster and reaction there had or hadn’t been, Crowley had never given the things back or put a stop to them, and so Aziraphale had carried on with them.

It had got to a point by now that the angel would from time to time announce that he would be going out to get one or do one of those little things, leaving the demon ample opportunity to protest or outright stop him if that were what he desired.

So far, there hadn’t been so much as a peep or a movement against, and so Aziraphale had carried on. Not everything was broadcast, obviously, though. There had to be some small opportunities for surprises.

Right now, for instance, he’d gone off to find something that Crowley particularly enjoyed eating but which was only available for a short period of time. It had taken a bit of time to find the best place, or even somewhere that made them, but he had managed it and now, with a bit of time taken out to gather a few extra goodies for the both of them, he was on his way home.

Home.

Home where a demon was waiting for him still. For a given value of waiting, that was. When he’d left him, he’d been snoozing quite happily, stretched out in an impossible position over the back of the sofa that ought to have resulted in him napping on the floor instead.

Not that that stopped the ginger when he felt like sleeping, of course.

Aziraphale felt his lips spread into a smile. Oh, he could hardly wait to get back and surprise his demon with his find.

Perhaps he would wake him with the scent of what he’d bought, which ought to count as a very lovely way to wake up. It was certainly strong enough and enticing enough for his own eyelids to flutter and his mouth to water a little. Perhaps more than a little but then, he had had the scent wafting on the entire scent home, which was getting relatively close now.

As in, he was in general area of Soho, though there was still some way to walk before he reached the part of Soho that was home. He had chosen to go a different direction than normal, as it was a better route for where he had finally managed to locate the thing he’d been after for Crowley.

The fact that it ought to have stopped wafting any kind of scent let alone one of just-come-out-of-the-oven was a minor matter which –

Aziraphale’s thoughts derailed quite suddenly and strongly. Came to a halt, as it were, though that too was somewhat failing to encapsulate the full impact of what he felt.

It wasn’t horrible. If anything, it was the exact opposite, to the point that it threatened to overwhelm and overpower him.

He staggered backwards for a few steps before recovering enough to stop and get himself upright. Well, mostly upright, at any rate, and he had to shoot an arm out to steady himself.

The people around him shot him odd looks but, as he didn’t seem to be in any danger, most continued past, with a few levelling a disapproving glance at him. One small man in a grey suit and a mac did come over to see whether he was alright, though, and he managed to smile and reassure him.

What he said to make the other believe him enough that he went away, he had absolutely idea. The important point was that he didn’t ask any further questions and left him, without calling for an ambulance or something similar.

Not that it wasn’t kind of him to check, of course, not to mention picking up the items the blond had dropped and making sure they were all in one piece, miraculously. That was undeniable, and he did his best to make sure that the man was left feeling his help was appreciated.

It was merely that…well, how could he possibly explain what the problem was?

To say that he had walked straight into a wall of – of love, quite frankly, would not be conducive to getting the man to leave. If anything, it was likely to have a different kind of car called.

Nevertheless, that was the truth of the matter.

Aziraphale had walked straight and true into a wall of love, with much the same impact and effect as a silent era movie star slamming into a pane of glass. He dared to suspect they’d had the same severely smarting face from it, though whether they had the tinkling in their nose and lips were something he wouldn’t speculate on.

He looked up and now that he was aware of what he was looking for, he could see it shimmering at the edge of his vision, a softness that sharpened at the same time as it blurred.

But that sort of visual representation of it was…that did not happen with any kind of love. And no, it had nothing to do with the size of the love. It might be the smallest of loves that showed the brightest and strongest. The truest, as it were.

There were certainly loves that were large and brash and yet were more cobweb-fine and just as hole-riddled as could be. Without substance, in other words.

For the most part, large or small, the love present at any given point was something that was felt rather than seen.

This, though? This was…goodness, there was little wonder that he’d walked into it as if it were a physical object, smarting face and staggering and all.

To be perfectly honest, he was astonished at the fact that people seemed to pass through it as though it was nothing of importance or didn’t exist at all.

Granted, he was a being of love and therefore was able to sense instances of it where humans would see or feel nothing at all, not even where one would’ve thought they’d feel it. It was often quite wonderful, sometimes it was unsettling and on rare occasions, it was crushing and depressing.

That being said, this was…this was of a kind that he would’ve thought everyone would sense. Would run smack into, in fact, to borrow another phrase, and yet, they not only passed through it, but did so as if it were nothing out of the ordinary.

As if it weren’t there at all, in fact.

Something so extraordinary as that and they couldn’t sense it? Even with the factor that this was London, it was more, or less as the case may be, than he would’ve ever expected from people.

How could they be so ignorant of it? It did not seem possible – oh.

No, they weren’t ignorant of it. They just weren’t aware of it.

That was to say, while they weren’t consciously aware of what was happening, quite a few of them had bodies that were and there was a lightness to their step and a softness to their expression that he would be willing to bet – were he not firmly against betting on general, angelic principle, that was – hadn’t been there when they’d stepped into the sphere.

Aziraphale, his arms slightly haphazardly full of the things he’d dropped or almost dropped and had been given back a bit too quickly, tried to move forward to give a further inspection.

He moved much more slowly and carefully than before so as to be sure he didn’t walk into anything. His nose was quite loud in its protests on that score.

A small part of him felt it really was most unfair that he should be hurt by something like that, in particular when humans passed through without any issue.

Then again, they didn’t get the full impact of it either, so he supposed it was a trade-off.

As he neared, the feeling of it intensified and he had to be careful he didn’t stagger again. It was just as potent as when he’d first bumped into it, it showed no sign of dissipating or even diminishing and as far as he could tell, it was very large indeed. So large that he couldn’t have said where its epicentre was.

Which was odd in itself. Large or small, to locate where a particular love came from was no effort at all for him, even though sometimes it really would’ve been nicer not to know. Normally, it was, at any rate. But this?

Stranger still was its strength. This was evidently the edge of it, which he could see with his very eyes, and yet, there was no indication that it was in terms of strength. Put another way, if this was the edge of it, presumably where it was the weakest, then he was almost afraid to know the strength of it at its epicentre.

Who could possibly be emanating a love as strong as that? It was almost of divine proportions, or so he would’ve said if he wasn’t more than aware that that didn’t mean much, or at least didn’t mean what it ought to mean.

He involuntarily looked upwards as he thought that but there didn’t seem to be anyone who had heard anything or otherwise taken notice. Or perhaps they were pointedly ignoring whatever they heard from him at this point in time. It amounted to the same thing, so he wasn’t going to complain.

As he’d looked up, he’d failed to see that someone was in a hurry. So much in a hurry, in fact, that they didn’t care where they went and certainly not where they were supposed to be.

Which meant that they’d mounted the pavement to now come barrelling down it, the pistons of their legs going as though the engine had to supply twice the intended capacity, without regard to where they might have to go through, or who, for that matter.

Including an apparently middle-aged man in a rather fastidious, old-fashioned suit and coat with his arms full, who happened to be standing straight in its path.

People around him were jumping and shouting. Someone was even pulling at his sleeve to try and get him out of the way in time. Unfortunately, there was no time, and in only a few more moments, bicycle and pedestrian would collide.

Only, it didn’t.

To the gaping bystanders, something rather miraculous happened; the bicycle swerved at the last moment, avoiding hitting the blond man by fractions of an inch, whereupon the wheel went on with its curve, so much so that it turned into something of a pirouette.

When it came to a halt, the cyclist was not only still on the bike but was standing, to his utter surprise and bewilderment, on top of the saddle, one foot resting on the saddle while the rest of his body stretched out in a rather graceful ballet pose, despite his suit not being made for that kind of manoeuvre at all.

He had never been to the ballet and wouldn’t have known one pose from another, let alone been able to perform one and yet, here he was. Not only was he doing it, he was holding it, and he felt an almost unbearable urge to go and practice, perhaps take up lessons.

Then reality seemed to return to him. More specifically, he became aware of all the people who were gaping at him and then of what he’d been doing before he’d…oh.

He flushed a nice burgundy colour and scrambled down. Someone took his hand and he involuntarily pirouetted. The colour in his cheeks turned almost plum. However, he didn’t stop.

“That does remind me, it’s been ages since I’ve been at the ballet,” he could hear someone mutter as they went past.

The cyclist, whose name was Bryan, because there is always someone who has to spice up even the most straightforward of names, thought there was something familiar about the outfit and the shape of the head as they went past but couldn’t place it.

In any case, they were past him before he had a chance to give them a proper scrutiny. The last thing he heard before the constant turning made him too dizzy to focus on anything was something along the lines of, “I wonder if I could persuade Crowley to go with me this time.”

For years afterwards, he was not only a ballet devotee, practising and dragging his wife with him to performances, but he kept having the feeling he’d been incredibly lucky in escaping something. Something which would’ve had dire consequences, for more than just himself.

As for Aziraphale, though he wasn’t as shaken as he possibly ought to have been, it had brought home to him that he couldn’t stand there gawping forever. He had a demon to return to.

While he walked, he got so wrapped up in his thoughts that he…not forgot the love that was all around him at this point, not quite. It was only that he didn’t notice when he stepped into it nor how natural it seemed once he stepped into it. Almost as if it disappeared from his conscious mind entirely once he was in its sphere.

Almost as if it were so familiar to him it slipped in and settled around him, entirely unnoticed and right.

Part of him.

[kerishaharris]

Why the cool kids (and brands who hope to be perceived as such) are on TikTok

Being what I like to describe as a “tail-end millennial,” I’ve grown up both with and in the digital age. I still remember turning in school assignments completed on a typewriter as well as playing Oregon Trail in computer class on those box-shaped, neon green Macintosh screens (I’m still heartbroken that my wife died of dysentery, btw). I remember pleading with my mom to hang up the phone so I could log onto AOL, and how much thought I’d put into curating the perfect AIM away message. I joined Facebook my senior year of college when it was still “the Facebook” and for college kids only, and remember how big a deal it was to rearrange my MySpace top eight (funny how we were full-on coding and didn’t even realize it). But now, as a mom of three tweens, I can admit that despite digital and social media being both my personal experience and my chosen career, there are media formats out there that I know nothing about, and that my kids’ knowledge far trumps my own. None of these formats feel more foreign to me, yet obviously influential and equally important to the next generation, than TikTok.

What is TikTok and (dancing humanoid dogs aside) who uses it? TikTok is, by and large, the newer, cooler and way more sophisticated version of Vine (RIP to a real one). On its own website, TikTok says its mission is to “inspire creativity and bring joy.” Produced and manufactured by Beijing-based video-sharing service ByteDance, TikTok reportedly boasts 800 million users worldwide, and as of 2019, has surpassed one billion installs (Yeh, 2019). It creates and curates an experience driven by its powerful algorithm, turning all of its users into a connected network of mini-influencers through the use of trending hashtags, leveraging of popular music, and push for engagement with other users through duets and viral dance challenges, making for a meaningful, organized, and dare I say it, super fun experience for users of the app (Herrman, 2019).

In exploring the app, what I found especially interesting was the way TikTok employs a vertical feed experience prompting the user to swipe up, which sets it apart from similar apps like Instagram Stories or Snapchat. This “endless scroll” approach seems, in my opinion, very conducive to creating an almost addictive experience which can lock you in for hours and hours. TikTok appears to cleverly take advantage of the way users normally engage with our vertical screens, filling up the entire real estate of our phones with engaging video content coupled with popular music that’s perhaps a little too easy to get sucked into.

Who is TikTok really for?

As not only a mom of tweens, but also having worked in communications within the education space in various capacities since 2016, TikTok’s popularity among young people comes as no surprise to me. TikTok is primarily used by youth between the ages of 16 and 24 (Brucker, 2020). It is used by about 69 percent of young people in the U.S., and these users spend at least 80 minutes per day on the app (Perez, 2020). This is the same group that, if you ask them, considers Facebook to be that “cringey” old people app that your grandpa thinks is cool, and Twitter to be that thing where journalists and politicians bicker with other journalists and politicians. It’s unsurprising to me that young people would be attracted to TikTok, a space that can feel exclusively like their own.

For me, it is that young people's exclusivity that keeps me away from TikTok. Despite being what many consider to be a subject-matter expert on social media, I am admittedly intimidated by an app I don’t completely understand or feel welcomed on. I feel more comfortable with the apps I’ve come of age with and whose functionality is more native to my own digital experience, most notably Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. I worry I may look like I’m “trying too hard” by exploring TikTok, or worse, that my presence there as a 38-year-old mom will render it an uncool place to be. My own kids reacted with horror when they noticed I had TikTok installed on my work phone, it didn’t matter that my job was to manage my then-employer’s institutional presence on social media. “Mom, please don’t make Wesleyan University a TikTok” they begged (too late guys, already secured the username for posterity). It was clear that they viewed TikTok as their safe space, and that my presence, as well as my employer’s presence despite it being an elite, well-known university, was not welcome.

Are any grownups or brands doing TikTok “right?” Interestingly, several marketers have managed to get past this “eww, adults and brands” factor to effectively market to TikTok’s growing audience through clever advertising and engagement campaigns. Capitalizing on the popularity of hashtag challenges on TikTok, Universal Pictures turned to TikTok as a way to promote their 2018 film, The House with a Clock in Its Walls, through a #FindYourMagic campaign which prompted users to film themselves doing their own magic tricks. Leveraging the power of influence, Universal got a group of popular TikTok influencers to post their own DIY magic videos, which naturally prompted others to do the same. As a result of the campaign, Universal received 1.3 million likes on the influencer videos, generated 19,000 pieces of user-generated content, and gained 11,000 new followers (Brucker, 2020). Whether it prompted people to actually go see the film, I’m not really sure.

(Source: TikTok for Business) In my work as a higher education social media manager, I often came across other universities (typically, with bigger teams and even bigger budgets) doing great work on TikTok. From a marketing perspective, it makes sense why a university would want to invest in building an exceptional presence on TikTok. Each year, so much of your energy and efforts are dedicated to marketing to prospective students and their families, convincing them that your school is the school to attend. Based on user demographics alone, TikTok offers a captive audience for the exact age range higher ed marketers are working so hard to reach. I’m proud to say that my undergraduate alma mater, the University of Florida, was one of the first to leverage TikTok and is considered one of the best in the game. With nearly 97,000 followers and more than 1 million likes, it’s clear they’ve figured out what resonates with their audience. Most of their TikTok videos feature the beloved school colors (anyone who went to UF will tell you we bleed orange and blue), Al the Alligator (we obviously weren’t terribly creative on the mascot name), fave spots on campus and the like. 

(Source: University of Florida on YouTube)

Other major schools like Brigham Young University and Florida International University capitalize on TikTok’s penchant for dance trends and employ their mascots, Cosmo the Cougar and Roary the Panther respectively, to jump in on these trends.

...this same video on BYU’s Cosmo the Cougar TikTok has a staggering 28 million plays, 4.8 million likes, and more than 24,000 comments.

Is TikTok here to stay?

As a perpetual student of digital and social media, I see TikTok as the wave of the future for digital and social communications and marketing. The question for me, however, is whether or not I’m going to ride that wave as a communications professional. While digital marketing is still somewhat new on TikTok, my constant fear is that the moment brands step in and try to inject themselves onto a platform, mimicking and profiting off of the way it is organically used, its core users become disinterested, abandon the platform, and look for the next big thing they can call their own. If I’m lucky, perhaps I’ll get the next big idea and launch that platform myself.

Funny but true story. As I was putting the finishing touches on this blog post, my 12-year-old daughter came up behind me chanting the following.

Her: Racism? Stop it. Bullying? Stop it. Homophobia? Stop it.

Me: Is that from a TikTok?

Her: Yeah.

Me: Figures.

SOURCES:

Brucker, N. (2020, January 6) Who is on TikTok and how can brands reach them? Forbes. Retrieved from https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesagencycouncil/2020/01/06/who-is-on-tiktok-and-how-can-brands-reach-them/#1a2fe28343be. 

Herrman, J. (2019, March 10) How TikTok is rewriting the world. New York Times. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/10/style/what-is-tik-tok.html.

Perez, S. (2020, June 4) Kids now spend nearly as much time watching TikTok as YouTube in the US, UK and Spain. Tech Crunch. Retrieved from https://techcrunch.com/2020/06/04/kids-now-spend-nearly-as-much-time-watching-tiktok-as-youtube-in-u-s-u-k-and-spain/.

Yeh, O. (2019, February 26). TikTok surpasses one billion installs on the App Store and Google Play. Sensor Tower. Retrieved from https://sensortower.com/blog/tiktok-downloads-one-billion.  

[sunnydawn444]

New Post has been published on Sunny Dawn Johnston

New Post has been published on http://sunnydawnjohnston.com/blog/a-mothers-heart-thank-you-to-my-son/

A mothers heart - An open letter to my first born son!

Sunny Dawn 1974

  This little girl had no idea what her life would look like. Who would she become? Would she make a difference in the world? Would she be able to learn unconditional love? What challenges would be on her journey? This little girl, at this tender age, was living for the moment. Joyful, happy, engaging and open. Yes this little girl was full of life and everything it had to offer. Little did she know that in a few short years… she would meet the love of her life, the greatest gift she ever received, and her greatest teacher, all at the same time.

Our first meeting – 4/26/1990 after emergency c-section

Fast forward about 15 years, and April 26, 1990, almost 27 years ago, this little girl meets this little boy. This will be the boy to change this little girls life. This little boy, has now become the teacher. Truth be told, he began teaching almost instantaneously. This little boy, named Crew Dylan began teaching while in the womb. Most kids do I think. If we are really listening. He began to teach me then, that all of the emotions I was having, all of the fear I was carrying in my body was unhealthy, that it needed to come out, but I didn’t understand, I wasn’t listening. I was too wrapped up in it all. I was 18 years old, pregnant, scared to death… and fighting for my life and the life of my unborn son. It’s an interesting thing…  the very thing i was scared to death to do, be a mother, was the exact thing my body was fighting against  (enter emotions in manifestation here) and the very thing I began to fight for through complete bed rest, lots of medication, and daily checkups with doctors for months. The gift in all of that was that this little guy was born healthy. The next three weeks I fought for my life, although being given a death sentence, I eventually won. I left the hospital three weeks later to meet my son, this precious gift I had yet to spend any time with because of my illness. That is where this little girls story ends. She is now a mom!

A mom to one Crew Dylan. The name took quite a bit of time to decide on… but when i did finally decide on it… you grew right into it. Almost too well!!! We always joked that you were like having a “crew” of kids.. except that it wasn’t a joke. I am so grateful for all you  have taught me, and I am grateful that although I was a slow learner, I was willing to  learn. As I was looking back over the last 27 years and the few pictures I have because you didn’t like your picture taken, and you still don’t, I felt waves of emotion.

in your time-out chair for the 100th time that day

When looking at this picture now, It brings a smile to my face. What’s not so funny was that I also remember my anger and frustration at that time, as you wouldn’t stay in your chair and kept climbing on the couch with it attached to your bum. When you set your mind to something you did it, whether I or anyone else wanted you to or thought it was ok. That was how you were from the moment you took your first breath. You were committed to whatever it was YOU decided to do… for the long haul (remember 4 hours with your nose in the corner.. that type of long haul). We just thought you were stubborn and defiant, and many times you were, but what I see now is someone that is extremely committed to your wants and desires. You have taught me commitment. I had to be committed to you, and to learning from you! I thank you for that. It has made me a better  more committed person myself.

11/27/1993 Wedding Day Sedona Arizona

Being a single mom was hard… and even more than hard, it was scary. The day your real dad and I met, 2/4/1993 was a day I had prayed for. I was always afraid I would end up raising you alone.. and I was scared to death that I wouldn’t know what to do or how to do it. I didn’t feel like I was capable of being everything you needed. I felt we needed a strong and loving man to be a part of our family, to teach you the “boy” things and to support me in my moments of doubt and fear. When your Dad walked into our lives I knew we had manifested this man into our lives.. and that “we” would be ok. Looking back, you were always goign to be ok, it was me that needed the assurance… and thankfully I had it. I could breathe a sigh of relief. We were now a “real” family – whatever that means.

eating whatever you want

Now the funny thing is, you were his teacher too. You had to teach him many different things too… and boy was that a process of learning.. for us all. I am not sure he was consciously  prepared for the power of “CREW” but his spirit knew, and he learned too. One thing he learned was that he could never take his eyes off of you. This picture is one example… not from your dad’s experience, but from mine. You wanted another apple and I said no. So, you helped yourself  to a little bit of 10 different pieces of fruit… the after affects of that were many diaper changes…  This picture makes me smile too.. But, I wasn’t smiling then.. All I could do is add up the expense in my head. I was too focused on lack and not joy. Through many of these kind of experiences, you taught us both presence. You demanded presence, and we were not great students initially. Thank you for your patience as it is one of the most important lessons for me in my life. To be present. I have you to thank for that insight and I am a much more present person because of YOU!

You being you!

You always marched to your own beat. you didn’t do things like the rest of the kids. I have some of that in me too.. a lot actually. The difference is, you were ok with it. I was not. I spent a lot of time in my life hiding, trying to be normal. By the time you rolled around, i redirected that energy to trying to make you “normal” – again, whatever that is! You weren’t normal, you still aren’t… and THANK YOU UNIVERSE for that. You were wiser than I was, your spirit knew… and it taught me. It is OK to go a different way, it is ok to walk a different path, it’s just ok.. period. You taught me acceptance.. at first I thought it was that I needed to learn to accept you, but the truth is, i really hadn’t learned to accept myself yet.. not totally. I still had guilt and shame I was carrying, and projecting on to you. Thank you for helping me to see that. I am an accepting being now, because you taught me to be… of myself.. that was the key. Thank you and I love you for that.

When it was time to go to high school we were faced with some major decisions. I knew you were a smart kid, and I also knew that the typical high school environment was not conducive to your learning style. We made the decision to put you in an alternative school.

Graduation Announcement

There were many times during those couple of years that you resented the fact that you were missing out on some of the high school activities. It would break my heart because I could understand that, i quit school at 15 and never did any of it either.. BUT, i also knew, I just knew, that if we didn’t take you out of public school that we would lose you. I didn’t know how or why, but I knew. You have taught me to listen to my intuition, not my head. My head is the one that would react, usually out of frustration or fear… my heart, my spirit, my intuition would always respond out of love. You taught me, that even when those decisions are hard, and you may not like it, that if i listen to my heart, my guidance, it will always work out. You were key to me developing my intuitive abilities, because my head was so worn out from our almost daily battle of wills  that I would just shut down..  and shut out my connection to spirit. I needed a different way, and when i followed my intuition, it never let me.. or you… down. Thank you for this gift because without it, I wouldn’t do what I do. I have been blessed to help  thousands upon thousands of people because of you and your willingness to teach me… about myself.

March 17, 2010 was a scary day. When I looked at your dad after the phone rang, I knew and started walking to the car before he even said a word. When we got to the hospital, I sat in fear of what might be, but with a sense of peace too. I remember asking for help and prayers as soon as I could get to a phone, something that hadn’t always come naturally to me, but something  I had learned to do. I asked for help.. and I could feel it. When they discovered your neck was broken, I was scared again, and yet, had another chance, to embrace the support and love of others. I also had the opportunity to spend some time with you as I took care of you for the next 2 weeks. Bathing you… a 225 pound man, washing your hair, cleaning your wounds.. it was a new experience for us both. We had a lot of good talks, and some tears as well. You taught me strength and perseverance as you were determined to go back to work the next day. You couldn’t, but that determination gave me strength. It was hard to see my baby in pain. However, I’ll never forget what you said. I thought this was so wise for a 19 year old. You said, I am grateful for that car accident and all that happened. It taught me so much and I wouldn’t take it back. It hasn’t been an easy road for you and yet, you are grateful. Such a proud mom moment.

When you moved out at 18 years old, I had the opportunity to learn one of the greatest lessons of my life… Letting go. As a momma, it can be a hard thing, I was torn.

I wanted you to fly,

to live your life,

to feel freedom…

And I was afraid. Had i given you enough tools? Were you equipped to live on your own? Listen to your guidance? Make good decisions? Follow your heart? Had I done all I could do? I felt like I had in my heart, but in my head…not so much. I think as parents in general, we can be hard on ourselves. We want the best for our kids, but we don’t always know how to provide that. We do the best we can, with what we have, at the time… or do we?

As you moved out, and began your own life, in your own house that you purchased at 18 years old, I knew the answer. I just needed to trust. I needed to trust your spirit. There was no other option that would feel good. I could be afraid of life for you.. or I could trust that your soul would guide you perfectly. Thank you for teaching me to trust. It hasn’t always been easy for me, but it has been soooo necessary. You haven’t always made the best choices.. but you have learned. That’s what life is all about!

So, this is a minute synopsis off all I have learned from you. I hope that in my learning I have been able to teach you a few things as well. What I know for sure today Crew Dylan Johnston is:

I am SO proud of the man you have become. We began on a very rocky road and you have flourished. Your tenacity has impressed me always, even when it drove me crazy. I see that in you now in the way you approach life and it works.

You are wise beyond your years

Ambitious is an understatement

You are a passionate leader in the community

You are driven like no other

You are open to learning

You know what you want

Your success is well earned

Your heart is bigger than even you know

You wit is impressive

You are a gifted musician

You are stronger than anyone really knows

You are an amazing dad

You are a kind and gentle fiance

Your humor is …. welll… hmmmmm 🙂 🙂 Just kidding 🙂

And so many more, but I am running out of time:) Just know you are loved beyond imagination!

One of the things that we all want for our children is for them to love and be loved. You deserve the best in life…and LOVE is what life is all about. I am so happy that you have found the loves of your life in Kallie, Elena and Lilynn. I say loves, because you got 3, all at once. You fell in love with them all, in a matter of days.. and your desire to be the best (soon-to-be) husband and dad is probably the thing i am the most proud of. You have followed in your dad’s footsteps (not an easy feat.) It is a remarkable thing to absolutely love someone unconditionally. To take on the responsibility of a partner is one thing, but two children is an added bonus. You have done it with grace and ease and joy. I am soooooo grateful you have brought these three beautiful souls into our world… and made me a GRANDMA. There is nothing better in this world than to see you happy!!!

Here’s to 27 years of life! I am beyond blessed to call you my son, my teacher and my friend – I LOVE you!!!! – Mom