#and you’re like. FUUUUUCK. how am i supposed to get back to work under these conditions

[fingertipsmp3]

I love reading because you’ll be like “okay let me just finish this chapter and then I’ll get some work done” and at the end of the chapter in question the main character gets sealed into a tomb against his will

[shootingstarwritings]

Hans Off the Computer!

The human mind, when boiled down to its most fundamental building blocks, was simply a system of ON and OFF switches. In that sense, it is functionally identical to that of a computer’s mainframe. When putting both of those thoughts together, the idea that the human brain can be completely digitized and transferred through networks isn’t too far-fetched an idea.

At the very least, that was the thought of Hans Hopper, a freelance software engineer. Currently, he was working at a computer repair shop to get some extra money and to kill time between projects—including his own.

“It could be possible,” he voiced his dreams to his boss, Carl, as they took a look at some guy’s gaming PC. The components were state of the art, some not even out in the market yet. Just the graphic card and motherboard made Hans drool at the sight. Streamers get all the luck, he thought. The owner, some small-name star with a big ego, took poor care of his machine, leading to landing on Carl's shop.

“Y’know, Hopper,” Carl began as he cleaned some dust off of the PC’s parts, “I think if you put that head of yours outta the clouds and into reality with the rest o’ us, you’d really take off. Least you wouldn’t be stuck in this freelancing business and get a real job like some o’ your peers.”

“And be like those corporate suck-ups?” Hans snorted. “As if. I’m not gonna be another cog in the machine. Now being in a machine." He grinned, already fantasizing about the things he'd do if he could ditch his flawed, physical form for a future full of infinite potential inside of a network. "That's what I'm after."

“Least those corporate suck-ups can afford their own places,” Carl sighed. “You’re still living with roommates at, what, 30?”

“...27, actually.”

Grinning, Carl said, “And there’s my point. At your age, Hans, I--” he paused as his phone began to ring with an irritatingly catchy tune. “Aw, shit. Lost track of time.” Before Carl ducked to the back of the store and towards the hall that led to his home, he glanced back and said, “Can you wrap up here and close the store, Hans?”

“You got it, boss," Hans said, waving him off. "Take care." Carl left without an answer, and Hans found himself alone with a PC he could only dream of. "Well well," he said, digging into his pocket and pulling out a flash drive. "Looks like it's just you and me from now on. Let's see if what's under the hood's enough to get my program running."

While Carl had a point that Hans' dream was beyond the capacity of current human technology, the world of sci-fi and fantasy lacked such rules. "Just like that ol' title," he muttered to himself as he inserted the flash drive into a USB drive. "A machine can't act like a human mind, but it can calculate runes with no trouble. Sometimes when we can’t use tech to get somewhere, we gotta use shortcuts.”

This PC was his best chance to experiment on his little program to see if it worked. After checking to make sure the drives were all up to date and the whole thing was running smoothly, Hans executed his program. A few keystrokes later, a magic circle formed on the screen. “Let’s gooo—WOAH!”

Although Hans should have figured that the ritual wouldn’t be painless, having his physical form ripped apart and turned into data was nothing short of excruciating. Reforming himself later wouldn’t be any less unpleasant, but he could never turn down the chance to become data and revolutionize the field of… magic? Science? Magitek?

He witnessed his fingers slowly fade as if turning into dust and flow like a stream of water into the screen. As the entirety of his arms completely disappeared, sprites that resembled arms appeared on the screen. "L-Least it works?" Hans nervously said as more and more of his body faded away.

Eventually, Hans' ability to feel, taste, hear, and see waned as his body fully waxed into the computer. The sensation… was nothing. There were no nerves or sensors to feel with, but he could understand the data that his mind had access to. Overwhelming, yet the sensation felt like precious wine on his lips.

The network… Though small, Hans was amazed at how he could travel through the network of the shop—including Carl’s personal PC.

“No, no,” Hans realized he could hear. He saw Carl through the uncovered camera and heard him through a microphone that remained plugged in. For a tech-savvy guy, Carl was real lenient in terms of privacy. "C'mon, Elise, be reasonable here. We got a meeting with the divorce lawyer tomorrow. Can’t you have your little wine party another day?” Carl rolled his eyes as he pocketed his phone. “Fuckin’ bitch. Can’t give me a break.”

And now, as Carl sat down to work on his computer, Hans realized he could attempt the other upside of the ritual. With his mind now data, he could reach out and override the "data" that was another's consciousness.

“What the hell am I supposed to—MMGPHF!”

It wasn’t the most graceful exit, but Hans couldn’t deny the results. Black tendrils—an unnatural amalgamation of data and flesh flew from the screen and landed on Carl’s face, causing him to fly back a few inches. His body twitched and convulsed, back forming a C,  as Hans’ essence flowed into each of Carl’s orifices. Carl’s feet kicked at the ground, fingers gripping his chair’s armrests, as Hans’ essence attacked and invaded his brain.

“A-Ah, ahhh.” Carl helplessly moaned as Hans override any freedom and control over his body. After a few painful seconds with his back arched and his toes curling as the sensation of being overtaken overwhelmed him, Hans awoke in his boss’ body.

“Well, well,” said Hans, feeling his new arms. “Not exactly my first choice for a body, but not a bad test drive.” He stretched in the comfortable office chair, a gift from another customer. “Man, Carl, for an old guy you don’t feel half-bad.” Now realizing that he was alone, a mischievous thought crossed Hans’ mind. “Well, got some time to keep doing some more research on my little program. Maybe I can find a way to hack into other networks." Grinning to himself, he stood up and slowly stripped out of Carl's clothes. First, the shirt came off as the nipples hardened in the cool air, then the shoes were chucked to the side to allow his feet to breathe. The pants came off next, and finally, the underwear flew across the room as Hans embraced his newfound potential—and his borrowed pole.

“Who knew old farts like you still had crazy stamina like this!” Hans cried out, furiously and desperately thrusting into his grip as he jacked off his boss’ body. “F-Fuck! Fuuuuuck!” Hans let out a roar as he came all over his boss’ keyboard. “W-Woah. Gonna have to clean that up later. Dunno where he keeps his tissues, but...” Hans paused and grinned once more. This wasn’t his body, so what the hell? He bent down and began to lick the keys clean, making sure to savor his boss’ taste with each slurp.

The next day, he sat in his boss' room, giving another client's laptop a check-up. It was a Sunday and so the shop was closed, but Hans' mind was far too wired to relax by simply lying around the place. No, tinkering around and keeping his hands busy was how he would wind down.

Although, Hans remained without any clothes. The feeling of the chair against his naked skin was intoxicating. Never in his life had Hans worked in the nude, but he might have to start doing it more often as he tried on new skins. For now, though, might as well enjoy Carl’s life for a few more hours before trying on someone new.

Hans’ roommates were certainly appealing prospects.

[thejollyduckling]

VM Revival- Spoilers, ahoy!

Apologies in advanced for a supremely unedited jumble of thoughts. I meant for it to be more cohesive (and shorter- this got long, y’all). Alas, I am not one with words, especially.

Disclaimer: all feelings about characters and directions of the show are valid and I do not find fault with anyone for feeling differently than I do about the current situation.

I’m upset. I’m very upset. I love Logan Echolls. And I’m exhausted from crying and being emotionally distraught over what happened to him on the revival. Not only did my character die, ship die, and investment in a show die, but I then get to feel worthless in my feelings because people can’t handle that others don’t feel the same way as they do- and that those people are willing to voice those differences.

Several central arguments seem to evolve from those who think upset fans should not be upset:

1)      It’s noir. What did you expect?

2)      You already got your fanservice movie. Shut up! -OR- You’re being an entitled fangirl!

3)      Obviously, you don’t care about Veronica, since you’re willing to stop watching HER show over a character that isn’t her

 It’s noir. What did you expect?

I’m not the best person to speak on noir, since I’d only call myself a moderately-informed fan. I certainly have seen most of the classic movies that are classified as such and have definitely spent my time watching tv shows that identified as neo-noir, noir-esque, or other such variants inclusive of noir features. All that being said, from my humble perspective, some of the common themes from noir are present, but most of those were established in the original series and not new to the revival. Aside from some of those themes, stylistically, it didn’t feel very noir. There is a wide range of narrative events that can happen to be inclusive of this ‘noir’ label. Noir is not simply “death, despair, and no happiness!” Killing a character could fall under the category of noir. Killing a beloved, important character could certainly fall under the category of noir. But simply stating that killing that character IS noir is a gross simplification of what exactly makes that death noir. Sliced berries go in a fruit salad. But slicing a berry doesn’t automatically make it a fruit salad. While there are arguments to killing Logan for noir effect that can be made (which I am not currently capable of having right now), telling me I should get over it/deal with it/ “expect it because it’s noir, guys” is dismissive of my opinion on what makes something good noir. No, I don’t have to accept his death as a necessity of the genre. There are plenty of other characters who did or could have died to make that happen. Hell, even Logan could have been that character, but they didn’t do it justice. Again, I don’t want to argue about how Logan could have been that character still (because damnit, I don’t EVER want it to be him), but if it HAD to be him (I don’t think it did), fuuuuuck, he could have gotten MORE than he did. It didn’t have to happen 2 minutes after the wedding. It didn’t have to be an off-screen explosion from a leftover bomb from an already-apprehended criminal that I hated throughout the entire revival, they didn’t have to do a time-jump in which I didn’t get to watch ANYONE grieve his SIGNIFICANT loss, not have a funeral that we saw to grieve with the characters, and to only get a single tear from Veronica as she listens to a voicemail of Logan praising her for being strong. Let me be clear: I do not fault the writers for having Logan’s character believe in her strength. I do not fault fans for finding Veronica strong for enduring all the trauma she has endured. I DO find fault with people who tell me that I’m supposed to accept his death because it allows her to experience (ANOTHER) trauma to allow us to be TOLD she is strong. We didn’t see her be strong. We didn’t see her pick herself back up. We didn’t see her mend her heart and persevere through the devastating loss of her husband (and one of two people she told us she’d die without). We got a flash-forward where I was “told” she did this work, or was doing this work. I was told she was going to persevere. I do not have to accept or reinforce the idea that women (especially survivors of multiple traumas) are strong solely for continuing to have trauma thrown at them. If V needs to recover from trauma-after-trauma, I actually want to see her doing that. Instead, I got a season of her deflecting help (which I think is in-character) and pushing down her trauma. While I respect her character still has room to grow, I’m frustrated that I already SAW that growth with her childhood trauma. I spent 3 seasons, a movie, and two books, showing how she fought that trauma and had to learn to trust. And that growth was regressed in the revival. Recovery is a long process, and V will deal with that trauma for the rest of her life… but it didn’t feel like she had made ANY progress in the revival, even after she’d already canonically made some. That’s frustrating. So then, the cherry on top of that frustration, is to see her get dealt another terrible trauma… and not have it addressed or explored. “Wait until the next season,” you might say. No, thank you. I don’t want to watch my female characters constantly be beaten down by trauma and not able to grow from it, praised for being strong for “enduring” it, and then told to accept that one of the traumatic events that happens to them is the death of my favorite character. I don’t want to watch that.

 You already got your fanservice movie. Shut up! -OR- You’re being an entitled fangirl!

Diminishing fans who care about characters or romances as “fangirls” sounds pretty misogynistic to me. In my many years of fandom experiences, I’ve never understood why so many people are so strongly anti-romance. I understand people not liking particular ships, or particular stories. I understand people being tired of romance being so central to a particular story if you would like it to be more secondary. But to shame people who don’t feel the same way? To diminish their fan engagement as being stupid, silly, or fangirly is reductive. And, if you use the term fangirl in your diminishment, sexist. If you don’t like romance in your stories, that’s fine. But I do. And I’m not ridiculous for liking it. If I wasn’t meant to like it, I can’t understand why so many shows, movies, and books would devote so much time to it. Specifically, in the revival of VM, they spent much of the season exploring Logan’s and Veronica’s relationship. The writers (who aren’t “pandering” to me) wrote it themselves. They didn’t have to address it. They could have had it be a quaternary storyline. They didn’t, though. They made it a pretty significant one, since it’s a significant part of V’s character. She gets to have familial relationships explored, and fans can like that. She gets to have friend relationships explored, and fans can like that. But a romantic relationship? Fans can’t like that- or shouldn’t like it too much because it overshadows… what? What does it overshadow? I don’t ONLY want V to have a love story. But forgive me for enjoying my girl having a little happiness and love in her life. Especially if that relationship encourages her to be more trusting, open, forgiving, and helps her grow. That’s what relationships of all kinds are supposed to do. If you only care about the mystery aspect of the show, good for you. That’s totally fine. I came and STAYED because of the character development. I came for the relationships. In a noir setting, our hero needs people that keep her grounded, that keep her feeling happiness in spite of the turmoil around her, and that remind her to keep fighting. By reducing my love of a character that I believe offered this to Veronica on a supreme level to only being a silly fangirl is a misunderstanding of my love for Logan, and for my love of Veronica. If my love of this aspect of V’s and L’s characters is annoying and just fangirl pandering, then why did they spend much of the season exploring it? And then why am I not allowed to be upset at the outcome of said “pandering?” Also, in general, I don’t really understand why people refer to specific writing choices/ directions as fanservice or pandering. Or, more so, I don’t enjoy the large amount of people who seem to describe everything they do not like as pandering or fanservice. Why was the VM movie fanservice? Because fans liked it? Because they made it with fans in mind? What is inherently wrong with that? The idea that I’m supposed to give up wanting things for characters, ships, and stories simply because a movie didn’t completely sink my ship is strange to me. I’m not supposed to be invested in the further stories of Veronica and Co. because I already got everything I wanted? Did I? Do you know everything I wanted? LoVe being together at the end of the movie was certainly something I wanted. But was that EVERYTHING I wanted? No. Every fan of the franchise got SOMETHING from the movie, I’d argue. It might have been a cameo by a long-forgotten character. It might have been your couple reuniting. It might have been seeing your favorite father/daughter pair finally back together on-screen. Whatever it is, we all got something from that movie. So why is LoVe being together the ONLY thing the movie is remembered for doing? It accomplished a lot more than that, for me. I did not “already get my fanservice movie and now I need to shut up.” I care about these characters, this world, and I will never stop voicing what I want for them. If I’m doing it in a respectful way, that does no harm to anyone. If I express disappointment and hurt over the direction of the revival, that does no harm. I am not entitled to have Veronica Mars go the way I want, but I am hurt that it didn’t- and get to express that. It is not entitled to express my feelings on the direction of a show. Creators can choose to take those thoughts and do what they will. Rob certainly will do what he wants.  

Obviously, you don’t care about Veronica, since you’re willing to stop watching HER show over a character that isn’t her

I don’t even fully know how to begin unpacking this argument. This belief seems to stem from the idea that anything that happens on VM is what is best for her and I shouldn’t want anything different. I do not believe killing Logan was what was best for her story or the show. I do not believe it was the only way to achieve what I believe the writers wanted to achieve. Therefore, I’m upset that they chose to kill my favorite character to do that. I am so upset for Logan’s character (which Rob wrote and included in the show for me to consume and, presumably, enjoy). I wanted different for him. I believe his character suffered enough and wanted to see him get to reap the benefits of the hard-fought life he had carved out for himself. I didn’t expect a sunshine, butterflies, and rainbows sap-fest. I expected bumps and conflicts. I expected his character to continue to have flaws and grow. But now I don’t get any more of that. His character is done. He cannot continue to challenge, support, and love Veronica. He cannot continue to challenge himself to grow from his past. He cannot continue to be the hero he worked so hard to be. Because he’s dead. Why am I not allowed to be so devastated by that that I don’t want to see anymore of this world that he was a part of without him in it? If Keith had died, fans would have been equally upset and quit the show. I can’t imagine what would have happened if V had died. I don’t love Logan more than Veronica (though, if I did that would certainly not be a problem). You are not a better fan for loving Veronica more than Logan or Keith or Weevil or Mac or Wallace or any other character.  In the HP fandom, no one’s going to kick you out of the fandom for not liking Harry the most because it’s “his story.” Honestly, a lot of people don’t like Harry at all. Many do, many don’t. The point is, liking other characters that are included in the story above the main character is not inherently a problem. If you’re advocating for Logan to get all the screentime and all the story, well of course that’s not really how the show is going to work. It is V’s show. It is centered around her. But that includes the relationships she has with other characters. If V died, I’d be devastated. I’d stop watching the show… because there’d be no more show. Rob & Writers made Logan important. You don’t have to like that. But I do. I like that he’s important, because I like his character. And I’m upset at what happened to him, and his death (while not the ONLY thing of importance in the story) was big enough FOR ME, that I cannot continue to watch or enjoy the show. It changed everything for me. I wish it hadn’t. But I refuse to feel ashamed that I’m devastated that a MAIN CHARACTER, who was crucially important to our star, is dead and I cannot enjoy the show without him. My love for Logan’s character, my love for him in this world, is separate for my love for Veronica. I don’t HAVE to love Logan less and want less for him to love and want more for V. If Logan wasn’t important to V, then his death wouldn’t be so impactful for me. Obviously, I love his character, but it was his closeness and unyielding love for Veronica that made his death unbearable. Rob did not make Logan crucial and important for fanservice. And if he did, that was his own doing, and no one should be blamed for responding emotionally to what was created for us to respond to.

 On top of those three arguments that I see circulating over and over, I’m upset at the revival in general.

I am upset that a character that I love, who is flawed (and who should be allowed to be so), was not given the growth that I wanted for her. I felt like Veronica’s growth from past canon was regressed.

I am upset that we did not get to see more interaction between other characters that I wanted to see more from.

I am upset at the continued problematic portrayals of women and characters of color in Rob’s writing. I’m upset at the white feminism that I see in many moments of the show.

I am upset that the show tries to tackle deep issues like classism, sexism, racism, and abuse of all kinds, but only manages to scratch the surface- and often deals with them in problematic ways.

I am upset that the mysteries, which continues to be the least interesting aspect of the show for me (while still a draw), is the only thing that I believe Rob wants to continue to explore. It’s V’s job, it’s part of the genre and her character, so I get it. But I have always been drawn to the characters and their growth from the original series. I knew with the revival, Rob told us there’d be more focus on the mystery. And there was, and I didn’t mind it. I expect angst. I am no stranger to our characters going through ups and downs. But I still don’t like what happened. And I don’t think it was necessary or “good” storytelling.

I am upset that caring about Logan/LoVe is considered being a “fangirl” or fanservice. Wrong. I care deeply about ALL of Veronica’s relationships. In the revival, I found her relationship with Wallace lacking. I found her relationship with Weevil lacking (is this just due to screentime? Not entirely, but that’s another debate). I found her relationship with Keith lacking, though better than her relationship with some other characters. I am interested in Veronica as a character- with relationships (romantic AND platonic) who happens to be a PI. I was warned that the revival would be more focus on the PI side, so I was prepared for that. I wasn’t prepared for the character regression/lack of attention so completely- and then made to feel bad that I was upset about it.

I am upset that Logan Echolls is dead. That it is being deemed by some as necessary or acceptable, and if I disagree I’m silly, pathetic, wanting the show to pander to me, etc. If caring about his character so ardently is wrong, then Rob shouldn’t have written him such a kick-ass redemption. And I don’t want to be right.

I am upset because loyal, passionate fans have been crucial to this revival and to the marketing campaign. What happened to Logan feels like a slap in the face to fans that have devoted years, time, creative energy, and LITERALLY millions of dollars to see their beloved show and characters continue on. It may not have been what Rob intended, but the slap is felt regardless.

The thing is… at the end of the day? I am frustrated about a lot of things from the revival. But, if there’s another season ALL of those things could be addressed, expanded upon, or fixed…. Except 1: Logan’s life. That story is over, and I’m not okay about it. It was literally the ONLY thing I did not want to happen in the revival. I am a geek, who made a list. I had a whole long list of things I wanted- including things that had NOTHING to do with Logan or LoVe. Most of them revolved around V. Don’t tell me I don’t care about Veronica, just because I can’t watch/promote a show anymore because of another character. His character death is devastating to me on multiple levels- INCLUDING ITS IMPACT ON VERONICA!

I am allowed to be upset at the specific ways in which my character was handled. Can I do anything in the long run? Probably not. Is it artists’ choice? Of course. I am not entitled to tell a showrunner or writer that they must do things my way. But I am allowed to voice my disappointment and tell him that he no longer has my viewership and support, and I believe I am allowed to tell him what those reasons are. He can choose to ignore or engage with me.

In closing, I can only say deeply how sorry I am to fans that have spent 15 years invested in these characters so much that they’ve poured their hearts and money into seeing it continue through the years. Two years of devotion and ending up here has soured me greatly. I cannot even begin to imagine how others must feel. You are entitled to your hurt and your expression of that hurt (Just keep it classy, like JDoh did).  Love to you all!

Sincerely,

A Burnt Marshmallow

[shirtlesssammy]

5x22: Swan Song

In light of recent news, we thought we’d finally tackle what might have been the end (until someone went and made a demon deal, giving us 10 more years of our beloved show!) It’s weird watching this and seeing what a bummer this all would have been if it had ended like this. Sure, it was epic, but I guess I’m a sucker for a happy ending when it’s about characters I’ve come to love more than my own family. I’m also going to point to this Twitter thread about good and bad show endings. Swan Song wouldn’t have been bad had we only had TFW for five years, but we’ve watched them grow over 15 years now, and I want to see them get some peace. (Thanks to all the meta writers for throwing out the much needed hope!)

The Road So Far:

Carry on my wayward son...

Now:

We open with Chuck Shurley narrating the origin story of the most important object in pretty much the entire universe. And I’m literally two minutes into rewatching this episode and already crying. He’s tells us about it’s original owner, Sal Moriarty. (Oh, Eric Kripke, of course it was.)

And how, after he died, it ended up in the hands of John Winchester, after some persuasion by his time traveling son.

Fade to Sam and Dean in Bobby’s salvage yard, drinking beer from the little green cooler. Dean tells Sam that he’s “in” on having Sam say yes to the devil.

Dean acknowledges that Sam can make his own choices. “Watching out for you? That’s kinda been my job, you know? More than that, it’s kinda who I am.” Seeing this image Dean has of himself shift to NOT be this is really great. Dean asks if this is really what Sam wants. Sam is more resigned than enthusiastic to the plan, obv.

Cut to Team Free Will collecting demon blood like they’re stocking up for the apocalypse (err..). Dean confers with Bobby about Lucifer’s location and they determine it is Detroit.

Once on the road, Dean can’t help but notice what a cute, slumbering angel he has in the backseat. Sam logically points out that angels don’t sleep. They talk about their plan, the odds of it working, and the reality that Sam won’t be coming back from the cage. Sam makes Dean promise that he won’t try and get him back. Dean balks at the idea. Sam makes him promise that he’ll find Lisa and live “some normal, apple pie life.”

Once in Detroit, the group finds many demons out and about. Sam and Bobby have a moment. Then Sam asks Cas to “take care of these guys” for him. Cas tells Sam that it isn’t possible. Sam asks him to humor him. Cas catches on just a little too late that he’s supposed to lie. Oh Cas, you beautiful, literal goob.

Sam then gets to the business of downing four gallons of demon blood. With that done, Sam and Dean turn themselves in to the demons, who bring them to Lucifer.

Chuck continues his monologue on the Impala. He mentions the unimportant features, and then mentions the important features: Sam’s green army man, Dean’s legos, Sam and Dean’s initials. The devil doesn’t know or care about their car.

The devil wants to know what Sam and Dean are up to.

Sam says he’s ready to say “yes.” The devil reveals that he knows they have the rings that will reopen the Cage. Fuuuuuck. Sam tries bluffing, but the jig is up. Dean’s look of anguish is devastating. Lucifer likes his odds on the battle that will happen in Sam’s head. He agrees. Before Dean can do anything more than say “No”, Sam says “Yes.”

A bright light flashes and Dean finds Sam knocked out on the floor. He throws the rings on the wall and gets to opening the door to Hell. Sammy awakens and Dean helps him towards the portal. Only, PSYCH! It’s actually Lucifer. Sam didn’t stand a chance against him. He closes the portal and takes the rings.  

Once away from Dean, Lucifer has a moment with Sam, where Sam makes it very clear that he’s not done fighting.

Lucifer appeals to Sam’s worst feelings about himself, but says he wants Sam to be happy. Sam doesn’t want anything from Lucifer. Lucifer then points out the group of demons behind him. They’re all people Sam knew in his life --they were all watching Sam for Azazel.

Dean, Bobby, and Cas are watching the fallout to Sam saying yes.

Shallow Sidenote:

(Those curls!)

Cas suggests they “imbibe copious quantities of alcohol and just wait for the inevitable blast wave.” GRIM, DUDE --but he ain’t wrong. Cas doesn’t think there’s any way they can stop Lucifer and Michael meeting. Dean is not giving up (and he’s desperate guys -his insult at Cas was way harsh). Bobby’s even resigned to the reality of the situation.

We cut back to the room full of demons, but they’re all dead this time. Lucifer smugly looks at Sam in the mirror. “We having fun yet?” Ugh, Lucifer, you’re the worst.

Chuck’s narration cuts in like a road narrative, all misty colored and gentle. “They could go anywhere and do anything. They drove one thousand miles for an Ozzy show, two days for a Jayhawks game. And when it was clear, they'd park her in the middle of nowhere, sit on the hood, and watch the stars for hours without saying a word.” This beautiful interlude dissipates with a phone call and Chuck picks up, expecting Mistress Magda. (Eyebrow waggle.) LOL, nope! It’s Dean.

“You got a real virgin / hooker thing going on, don’t you?” Dean observes. Excuse me while I laugh forever over this line, with the confirmed Chuck-is-God context. Dean wants to know where the fight will happen. It’ll be at Stull Cemetery at high noon, just outside of Lawrence. Chuck doesn’t have any more useful information than that…but it’s a place to start.

Bobby and Cas try to prevent Dean from heading to Lawrence to intervene in the upcoming archangel showdown but their arguments are weak sauce compared to Dean’s need to save Sam. He heads off alone to Stull.

The cemetery is wispy with mist and bedraggled with age. Michael (wearing Adam) flaps in to greet Lucifer. (Side note: Saying that Michael is “wearing Adam” sounds like Adam is a fashion designer. In this epic showdown, Michael has been dressed by the FABULOUS Adam!) 

Both brothers seem regretful, but ultimately resolved. Lucifer questions why they’re fighting if neither of them wants to do it. Michael trots out the old “duty” argument. Lucifer offers an alternative: “We’re going to kill each other. And for what? One of Dad's tests. And we don't even know the answer. We're brothers. Let's just walk off the chessboard.” Hey, guys. It’s a really good point. It’s also an intentional mirror of Dean, Sam, and John that I refuse to stop getting emotional about.

Michael’s tempted for a moment. Damn serpent!! “I’m a good son,” Michael decides. “You haven't changed a bit, little brother. Always blaming everybody but yourself.” This is also an excellent fucking point, man. The rumble’s still on.

Speaking of rumbling, Dean approaches in Baby with Def Leppard cranked up loud. FUCK YEAH. “Sorry, am I interrupting something?” To quote Tess McGreer’s Twitter feed: MY SON!

Michael’s not into the whole threesome battle, and heads threateningly towards Dean when the camera cuts suddenly to Castiel and Bobby who have just flapped in. “Hey, assbutt!” Castiel shouts before lobbing a holy oil molotov cocktail at Michael. Bless.

Michael poofs away. “You got your five minutes,” Cas says to Dean just before Lucifer explodes him. NOOOOOOO

Lucifer’s pretty crabby by this point, so when Dean tries to verbally reach Sam again, he hurls Dean into Baby. Bobby shoots futilely at Lucifer before Lucifer snaps his neck. NOOOOOOO

“Sammy, are you in there?” Dean asks desperately. PROTECT.

“He’s gonna feel the snap of your bones,” Lucifer promises Dean. He’s gonna kill Dean slow. I’d chortle over the classic villain “kill you slow” trope except that Lucifer is beating Dean bloody and it’s really, really not funny.

“It’s okay. I’m here,” a very battered Dean tells Sam, leaving me to stare into space thinking about how he must have said this on quiet nights, comforting young Sam over nightmares or monster-under-the-bed scares.

Lucifer draws his fist back to deliver a killing blow as Dean slumps in his hold. His eye catches on a little army man stuck in the ashtray and we get a montage of Dean and Sam moments set to the soundtrack of howling wind. Sam’s fist uncurls.

And that’s it. Sam takes control. “I’ve got him,” Sam tells Dean. He hauls the rings out of his pocket and tosses them to the ground, chanting the incantation to open the cage. Dean sprawls on the ground, leaning against the car, bloodied and broken. Sam panics at the threshold to the cage when Michael!Adam appears. 

Sam takes one more look at Dean before he opens his arms wide, ready to plunge into the cage. As Michael tries to haul him back, Sam pulls him in as well.

With a blast, the cage closes and Dean is left alone in the quiet, wind-swept cemetery.

He looks up a while later to find Castiel standing behind him, whole and unblemished. “You’re alive?” Dean asks.

“I’m better than that,” Cas says and…okay. He heals Dean with a touch, then brings Bobby back to life. Good job, Cas bby!

“Endings are hard,” Chuck says, and the scene switches to his office once again. “Endings are impossible. You try to tie up every loose end, but you never can. The fans are always gonna bitch. There's always gonna be holes. And since it's the ending, it's all supposed to add up to something. I'm telling you, they're a raging pain in the ass.”

We switch back to Dean and Cas in the Impala. Cas is headed back to Heaven to try to bring order upstairs. He’s ready to continue his heavenly mission, but Dean’s pissed off. “Where’s my grand prize? All I got is my brother in a hole.”

“You got what you asked for, Dean. No paradise. No hell. Just more of the same. I mean it, Dean. What would you rather have? Peace or freedom?”

Cas flaps out. “You really suck at goodbyes, you know that?” Always, Dean. Always.

Dean says a temporary farewell to Bobby, then shows up at Lisa’s house, CLEARLY TRAUMATIZED. What a non-booty booty call. Lisa reads the room and pulls him in for a comforting hug. (Stay tuned for my 8,000 word essay on why Lisa is the best.) 

“Up against good, evil, angels, devils, destiny, and God himself, they made their own choice. They chose family. And, well... isn't that kinda the whole point? No doubt endings are hard. But then again nothing ever really ends, does it?” Chuck vanishes, which is apparently his equivalent of dropping the mic.

Then, the show proceeds to not end, in the best way. Dean is still lost at Lisa’s, putting on a “normal” front. And outside, Sam appears under a flickering street light. To be continued…for ten more seasons. <3

Quoting is Hard:

This 1967 Chevrolet Impala would turn out to be the most important car – no, the most important object – in pretty much the whole universe.

As far as foreboding goes, it's a little light in the loafers.

Ain’t he a little angel?

I told you. This would always happen in Detroit.

MFEO. Literally.

I suggest we imbibe copious quantities of alcohol and just wait for the inevitable blast wave.

Cas, are you God?

Every fiber he's got, wants to die, or find a way to bring Sam back. But he isn't gonna do either. Because he made a promise.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[featherfreezombie]

iw SPOILERS

alrighty folks, i need to do a ramble. i saw infinity war, rest is under the cut of course. so SPOILERS!!!!!!

i HATED IT SO FUCKING MUCH SO FUCKING FUCIKING MUCH

alright. let’s get the big thoughts out of the way first. i am not mad people died, i also am not lying on the floor crying like so many have written they do. i feel nothing and it’s infuriating.

you know that effect when the scale goes up and up and up and it becomes less relatable in its one-upmanshit of itself? that was a typo and im not going to fix it. oneupmanshit. there you go.

thanos is a huge problem, i didn’t give a damn in the trailers, thought they might do stuff.. but.. omnipotence is just sooooo fuuuuucking boooooring and his motivations are “i do evil things because of a messed up conviction” but on the largest scale where it just seems so ridiculous and i can’t take him seriously even as he plows through the heros. his little lovey-dovey gamora moments don’t do shit considering how he raised her, set against her sister and all that. your love isn’t redeeming if it’s BIG-TIME abusive you fucking grapesicle.

okay so that’s thanos.

i think the plot and writing was exceptionally bad. everything that happens seemed to VERY obviously set up something they wanted to happen, which is how plots work but you’re not supposed to notice. and if the things that happen don’t make sense, it becomes even worse. just one example was stark’s line of we need to find vis, who might be able to find him “steve rogers might” why would he though?

steve isn’t this huge wealth of intelligence (as in knowledge and information, not smarts), if he had said natasha, that would’ve made sense. if he said wanda, that would have made sense. but no, we needed to set up the civil war talk and steve’s name had a bigger impact. bullshit.

OHOHOH, i should really talk about loki though. i got the feeling the russos just had no idea what to do with him and didn’t care. the only way his final actions make sense is if you view it as “suicide by thanos”. like. standing in front of thanos, giving him some weak drivel about pledging loyalty and then summoning a butter knife in the back of his hand, while thanos’ buddies stand behind HIM, and straight on attack? bull-fucking-shit. i could see how his final words might have been to thor, to say “hey, we’re family, goodbye” and shit.. but in his current state of mind and in that moment, it’s so out of character to do what he did.

loki would have slunk into the shadows, maybe fake being killed so that thanos might feel he had his fun and leave thor. which is what i hope happened, but somehow i don’t believe it anymore, since he would have been blown into space too, i guess. i had hopes he’d snuck onto the donut maybe, but.. nah.. probably not. though i WILL fantasize about loki being on titan too, with a very messed up tony. oh wait, quill’s alive too... right...

great scene by the way, on titan, kill all the aliens and let three human white dudes sitting there. eh, two. strange died too.

-breeeeeathe-

alrighty.

so, treatment of loki put me in a very bad headspace. they didn’t even bother showing the setup of that scene. bruce knows loki was sent by thanos. we will never know what loki actually said to them before they were borded, it’s just cast aside.

so, i am willing to attribute a lot of my grievances with this piece of shit movie to an opening scene that pissed me off ROYALLY. i wouldn’t have minded him dying per se, i was expecting it kind of, but the way they did crushed my suspension of disbelief. the bad writing continued to do that, so i was beside the movie, watching from the outside for the entire time and completely emotionally detached.

i wanted to go home to watch inane let’s plays and play idle games, i did not give a single fuck. i tried, i wanted to like the movie. i even came up with all sorts of plottwists, that might have made things interesting. one of which would be a heel-turn of thor where he kills thanos and takes the gauntlet, now THAT would have been cool and actually sort of in character. i liked his heart-to-heart with rocket about not having anything left, so... i could see it.

my mind supplied all these alternate developments to try and redeem what i was seeing, but no.. aaaaaand the disintegrating. now. infinity gauntlet complete, thanos nopes out of wakanda and half the universe dies. no send-off, no context. it felt like MARVEL culling the herd, that’s gotten to big, it felt fake and random. i mean it was supposed to be random in canon, but it really jsut felt to me like feige standing there with a clipboard going “okay black panther is gonna bomb, don’t need t’challa anymore i guess.... let’s see... bucky, eeh.. let’s kill all this stucky talk. who else. vis, out. (i was gald about that one actually)”

[and would they have killed of t’challa if they had known how well bp was received? maybe they thought it would just add some one-time “flavor” and be like this “see, we can have an african lead too” that didn’t need to be made any deeper. ugh.]

like the only death that had an impact was peter, he’s the only one that got sort of a send-off. i guess bucky, because he was the first, felt special too. it was sooo lazyyyy....

it’s like, we need to kill many people, but it’s also a disney movie so it cannot feel too much like a massacre. it just fucking sucked.

romance! eh. yeah. watching a 20-year old woman with a 2-year old man who looks about 60 is just so many shades of wrong and uncomfortable, god am i glad vision is gone.

there was the obligatory bruce-nat glances, but nothing more. there was a bit of tony-pepper stuff, and i hate that ship. squicks me the f out for some reason. one of them being that they reconciled off-screen in homecoming and i have never seen how there’s anything more than friendship between them, i see the two as a brother/sister like relationship, so the forced romance and marriage and all that, ugh.

quill and gamora is actgually pretty sweet, their moments also provide character development, i like.

ooookay that was a long one and i got a lot off my chest. i just felt hollow and like i wouldn’t be excited about anything in life anymore, i still feel like it tbh. even though i tried to not get hyped about it, because i had tons of doubt, i wanted to enjoy the movie and i so thoroughly didnt, that i do not feel like seeing another marvel movie ever again, and that is some strong shit.

i have measured my life in “how long until thor2″ and “just half a year to civil war” and stuff like that, so... it feels like a huge loss. hope ill get some excitement back somehow, just now i feel nothing but cynical and jaded and i hate it. i like to like things, i like being positive about things and i tried, i really tried.

fuck you marvel

[bakubitch]

Hi there! I hope your having a good day! ^-^ may I request todoroki and tokoyami trying to confess to their crush? (if that's all right ^-^)

(you didn’t specify so I went w fem pronouns) i’m sorry if the todoroki ones so bad but i’ve had the tokoyami one written for so damn long i’m sorry this took so long

Todoroki

It all happened by accident, Shouto confessing to his crushand knocking her into the fountain.

All accidents, but he only regretted the latter.

It was Saturday and the pair sat on the edge of a fountainin the middle of a surprisingly vacant park. She had roped Shouto into going onthis group outing with a few of their classmates but she had messed up themeeting place landing them in the earlier mentioned vacant park.

Well it wasn’t completely vacant; there was a flock ofpigeons to the pairs left.

His crushes head sat in her hands, completely mortified thatshe had messed up something so simple.

Todoroki sat stiff a couple feet away, unsure how to comforthis crush. He thought it’d be best if he didn’t interfere, scared he’d somehowmake it worse. This didn’t actually work for him though since his crush came tohim with teary eyes, rambling on about her mistakes. Todoroki was too stunned toanswer, not by her emotions but by the fact that she could even think thatabout herself.

‘’I’m just omg, so fucking dumb I can’t believe I messed up somethingso simple! If I can’t read directions how am I supposed to be a hero cause I’llget calls and they’ll be like hey we need you here at I don’t fucking knowstreet cause there’s a giant cannibal on the loose and you’re the only hero whocan stop them but I won’t be able to cause I can’t read fucking directions andtheir gonna eat everybody! I’ll never get to show my face again and I’l-‘’

‘’You’re amazing and uh I’ll be there to read the directionsfor you so you’ll never get lost and I love you.’’ Todoroki seemed caught offguard by his own statement, surprised he had just said what he’d been hidingfor the past year aloud and to the one he’d been hiding it from.

She hadn’t realized it at first, laughing at his absurdcomment but it quickly died once she realized what came at the end.

The teens both turned a bright red, unsure how to continueafter Todoroki dropped that bomb.

‘’I uh, I love you too Todoroki-kun.’’ She swallowed; it washard to talk since her mouth was so dry.

Todoroki smiled awkwardly and went in for a hug but ofcourse that didn’t go so well. He had put too much weight into it and his crushwas still fairly disoriented from what just happened. She was sent back intothe fountain with a screech sending Todoroki into a panic.

He pulled her out and offered her his coat. She was soakedhead to toe and shivering like crazy.

‘’I’m so sorry I’m so fucking dumb are you ok?’’ His handshesitated over her shoulders for a couple seconds before he placed them down,gripping her gently.

All she did was laugh, wrapping the jacket tighter aroundher body.

‘’Hey Todo-k-un du-do you wanna go on a date with me?’’

Tokoyami

It had been a bad idea for Tokoyami to go to Ashido-san forhelp, sure she was just trying to be helpful but none of this really seemed hisstyle. That morning she had shoved a box of chocolates and an overbearingbouquet of red and white roses, a few bluebells scattered in it, into hishands.

Her smile encouraged him to confess big and bold manner buthis heart and brain told him it wasn’t the best idea, especially consideringwhat kind of person you were.

Shy with a mean face but kind under that hard shell,Tokoyami already knew how Ashido-sans plan would really pan out, you runningaway with a red face and locking yourself in your dorm out of embarrassment.

One time Uraraka commented on how cute she looked and thatwas the last they saw of her all day. She would completely overload and systemswould fry if she even saw Tokoyami walking her way with such a large gesturesitting in his hands so that’s how he ended up hiding them in a closet nearyour dorm.

Knock Knock.

‘’Come in!’’ She sang from the other side of the door, thesound of feet hitting the wooden floors crossed the dorm room.

Before Tokoyami could even open the door it was swung open,revealing his crush clad in her school uniform which was strange since schoolended three hours ago.

‘’Helloo Tokoyami-kun.’’ She hummed with wide eyes, clearlyin a cheerful mood. He looked passed her head, seeing text books lining thefloor in a semi-circle, paper strewn everywhere painting with bright colours.

She must’ve been studying for the upcoming test.

‘’Studying?’’ Tokoyami mentioned eyeing her messy room withthe tiniest hint of a smirk.

Her face went red, bringing up her hand to the back of herneck, ‘’Yeah, I’ve failed the last two so I really gotta step it up accordingto sensei.’’ She giggled, bringing warmth to Tokoyami’s heart.

‘’Do you need any help?’’ The offer left his lips before hecould even stop himself, truth be told he hadn’t done so hot on the past coupletests either so he shouldn’t be offering anyone help.

His crushes face instantly brightened with a rushed nod,‘’that’d be amazing Tokoyami-kun, it’s great that you popped by I’ve actuallybeen stuck on this one question for the past ten minutes.’’ She added the lastpart with a less enthusiastic mumble before stepping aside and letting thetaller boy in.

It had only taken three steps for disaster to strike, unseenby either of them was a half full cup of peppermint tea sitting forgotten inthe middle of the room.

Tokoyami’s foot collided with the cup sending the tea intothe air and all over the papers and text books lining the floor only a foot anda half away.

‘’I didn’t even see that there I’m so sorry!’’ He cried headwhipping from left to right searching for something to clean up the mess whilehis crush panicked to his left.

It took a couple seconds for her to remember the closet acouple dorms down from hers where they kept all the cleaning supplies.

That was the same for Tokoyami, but his mind wasn’t focusedon the cleaning supplies.

He looked to his left hopping she hadn’t left the room yetbut when he turned his head he found nothing but empty space.

‘’Fuuuuuck! Fuck! Fuck!’’

The four lettered word continued to fall from his mouth ashe sprinted the hallway, it seemed longer than usual, the walls closer, boxinghim in as his heart raced at an alarming rate.

He found his crush in the entrance to the small storagecloset, head in her hands steam practically spiralling off of her fingers andup to the ceiling. She was facing the bouquet and box of chocolates Mina hadgiven Tokoyami, her face was hidden behind her hands but he could tell it wasbeet red.

Tokoyami’s mouth hung wide open, hoping he could think of somethingclever or funny to fix the awkward situation but all that came out was ‘’I likeyour face.’’.

A strangled noise came from his crush as she uncovered herface, turning to the bird boy with a red face and watery eyes.

She choked out her response, mimicking Tokoyami’s blunt statementexactly, it seemingly being the only thing her brain could think of.

They later (like fiveminutes later) went on a date to the next supply closet since there weren’t actuallyany paper towels in the one the pair ended up confessing in, then they went for ice cream.