#antenatal mothers

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[coochiequeens]

Doctors and nurses who are not willing to listen to their patients should be replaced

BY VICTORIA SMITH

The third time I went into labour, I was determined to avoid getting told off. With both of my previous births, I had somehow managed to get things wrong. My errors the first time: going to hospital too early, then, when I returned three hours later, “leaving it so late”. The second time: ignoring assurances that I didn’t need to come in yet, then giving birth in the car park — an event I later discovered was being used in antenatal classes as an example of women “not planning ahead”.

“My previous births have been fast,” I said, when I went into labour with my third, “so I’d like to come in now.” I was speaking to the woman at the midwife-led unit that is the only option where I live. (If you need a caesarean section, you have to be transferred to next town.) “Third babies are notoriously difficult,” was her response.

What an odd thing to say to a woman already in labour. The “notoriously” suggested it wasn’t based on any actual evidence, but rather a kind of folk wisdom. It felt as though I was being warned not to tempt fate, not to assume that this baby would just pop out. I saw myself being categorised as one of those arrogant women who presumes to know her own body, only to be taught a harsh yet much-deserved lesson. “Third babies are notoriously difficult” sounded not unlike “third-time mothers shouldn’t get above themselves”.

In fact, I have never been particularly cocky about childbirth. When I was pregnant with my first child, back in the days when the Right-wing press were still obsessed with famous women being “too posh to push”, I wondered if I might be able to get an elective caesarean myself. I did not particularly care about childbirth being a wonderful experience, or about “doing it well”. I didn’t care if the Daily Mail thought I was a joke.

What I cared about was not having a child who would face the same difficulties as my brother, who was starved of oxygen at birth. This has had serious consequences for him, and for the rest of my family. Just how serious is hard to gauge. He was born traumatised; there has never been a before to compare the after with. What there has been instead is the hazy outline of an alternative life, one that runs parallel to the one he has now. It’s a life that began with the problem being identified sooner, with him being delivered quickly, perhaps by emergency caesarean. The difference between this and his actual life comes down to something small: mere moments, mere breaths.

I was born three years after my brother, in a larger hospital, where my mother was induced and monitored carefully. There is something very strange about being the sibling who had the safe birth. It feels as though I stole it. There is a constant sense of guilt, as if my life — my independence, my choices — constitutes a form of gloating. “This is what you could have had.” Everything I do feels like something owed to my brother (do it, because he can’t) but also something taken from him (you shouldn’t have done that, because he should have done it first).

Still, my family were fortunate, insofar as my brother didn’t die. Current reports on the Nottingham maternity scandal reference 1,700 cases, with an estimated 201 mothers and babies who might have survived had they received better care. What strikes me, reading them, is the enormous gulf between the cost of a disastrous birth and the trivial, opportunistic way in which childbirth is so often politicised — with mothers themselves viewed as morally, if not practically, to blame if anything goes wrong.

As a feminist who concerns herself with how the female body is demonised, my interest in debates about birthing choices is more than personal. I have read books railing against the over-medicalisation of childbirth, aligning it with a patriarchal need to appropriate female reproductive power. I have also read books protesting the fetishisation of “natural” birth, suggesting that it infantilises women, that it implies women deserve pain. To be honest, I find both arguments persuasive and dismaying. Both are right about the way in which misogyny and professional arrogance can shift the focus away from meeting the needs of women and babies. I feel a kind of rage that we are told to pick a side.

Representations of the labouring woman are so often negative: the naïve idealist, the “birthzilla“, the birth-plan obsessive, the woman who is “too posh to push”. This latter stereotype has gone hand-in-hand with a veneration of vaginal births, and stigmatisation of caesareans, that has had sometimes disastrous consequences. Midwives at the centre of the Furness General Hospital scandal were reported to have “pursued natural birth ‘at any cost’”, referring to one another as “the musketeers”; at least 11 babies and one mother died. But their approach was sanctioned by their employer: the 2006 NHS document “Pathways to Success: a self-improvement toolkit” explicitly suggested that “maternity units applying best practice to the management of pregnancy, labour and birth will achieve a [caesarean section] rate consistently below 20% and will have aspirations to reduce that rate to 15%”. Proposed benefits to this included “a sense of pride in units”.

Responses to maternity scandals now express horror that such an anti-intervention culture ever arose — responses in the same press that denigrated women such as Victoria Beckham and Kate Winslet for not giving birth vaginally. Instead, newspapers now stoke outrage over “natural” treatments during NHS births, such as burning herbs. Women have been shamed for having caesareans, but they have also been shamed for wanting births with minimum intervention — as though they are selfish and spoilt for seeking control over such an extreme situation.

In his memoir This Is Going To Hurt, former doctor Adam Kay writes disparagingly of women who arrive at the delivery suite with birth plans:

“‘Having a birth plan’ always strikes me as akin to having a ‘what I want the weather to be’ plan or a ‘winning the lottery’ plan. Two centuries of obstetricians have found no way of predicting the course of a labour, but a certain denomination of floaty-dressed mother seems to think she can manage it easily.”

Wanting to have some control over your experience of labour — which will hurt you and could kill you or your baby — is not akin to some messianic aspiration to control the weather. And in his mockery of the woman who wants whale song and aromatherapy oils, ironically, Kay deploys the same silencing techniques that might intimidate a woman out of seeking the very interventions he so prizes. What he and others do not seem to grasp is that their arrogance is a problem, regardless of which course of action they champion. It makes women feel they can’t speak, for fear of inviting hostility at their most vulnerable moments. It’s true that none of us knows our body well enough to know how we will give birth. But, looking back, I find it utterly insane, not least given my own family history, that one of my biggest worries during labour was “please don’t let anyone get cross with me”. Then again, I don’t think that fear is unrelated to the desire to remain safe.

Birth is not a joke. It is not a place for professional dick-swinging or political one-upmanship. I cannot describe — and, as I am not my mother, cannot fully understand — the shame of feeling that you “let down” your child before they drew their first breath, that they will forever suffer because of it. You watch an entire life unfolding and that feeling is there, every single day. This is the fear of the women in labour who are characterised as either idiots mesmerised by fantasy homebirths or cold-hearted posh ladies who can’t take the pain. If things go wrong, they are the ones who will bear the consequences, reflecting every day on what might have been, if they’d only done more.

When people discuss their siblings, my mind does wander to the one I don’t have, the one who was born safely. Perhaps he would have a job he loved, or one he hated, but in any case a job. Perhaps he would have a partner. Perhaps he would have children, and I would be their aunt. Perhaps we wouldn’t get on, wouldn’t even speak, but he’d have a life of his own. I know he thinks about this too. I wonder if the professionals who presided over his birth have thought about him since.

My third labour was not, by the way, “notoriously difficult”. My third son arrived into the world safe and well. No one can say why him or me, and not my brother. Mothers may long for control over birth, for which we are mocked; but we do not have it, for which we are blamed. Politics still takes precedence over our needs, and the needs of our babies.

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2 Friends, 3 Babies.

Several months prior, two friends are texting: 

Kirsty: *Hey babe* 

Kate: *Yeah?* 

Kirsty: *<Posts picture of a positive pregnancy test>* 

Kate: *EEEEEEE! For real.  Congrats!   We are catching up, tomorrow!* 

Three months later, the following text message discussion occurred: 

Kate: *Oh my god, you’ll never guess what!* 

Kirsty: *What?* 

Kate: *<Posts picture of positive pregnancy test>* 

Kirsty: *OH MY GOD!!!!* 

Kate: *Yep… we do everything together, even babies!* 

Kate:  *But… I’ve got 2 in me!* 

Kirsty: *Twins?  WOWWWW!* 

Kirsty and Kate grew up in a small town, and did everything together, they both grew up together, went to school and college together, even worked at the same job together.   They were more like sisters than friends, and now with their joint pregnancies, they were doing antenatal classes together.  Kate had married Kevin – another childhood friend – and yes, you will notice the prolific number of ‘K’ names between the group – one of the quirks of living in a close-knit community, sometimes things get a bit well… weird.   

In this case, generationally, each family collectively agreed to use the next letter of the alphabet to name their children.   No one knows how far back it started, but their parents’ friends’ group was made up of a Joyce, Joseph, Janice and James.   They had a few friends like John and Jack… and a few from the older generation, Ian and Irene.   Ken was an unfortunate teenage pregnancy incident between one of Kirsty and Kate’s mothers’ friends, born much older than the rest of the generation thanks to a lack of sufficient education about sexual practices in the school system. 

Tom – Kirsty’s husband – was the odd one out – he was an import into the area.  Kirsty met him at university, and he was soon welcomed into the community with open arms as they dated and eventually married. 

Even though the 2 ladies were frequently seen to be almost identical in their style and demeanour, as time progressed in their respective pregnancies, the obviousness of their pregnant condition separated them.   Kirsty managed to keep a very petite bump, it was very small and contained.   Kate on the other hand had surpassed Kirsty’s belly measurement by her 5th month, Kirsty’s 8th – looking as if full term with a single baby before Kirsty had even given birth. 

Kate was thrilled – and to be honest a little apprehensive – when Kirsty asked her to be her birthing partner – she was very aware that whatever happened to Kirsty she would have to do herself in only a matter of weeks afterwards, but the two of them felt that they were well prepared between watching birth videos together, taking birth classes together, and generally being good emotional support to each other through the trials of heartburn, morning sickness and cravings. 

As time progressed, and the inevitable day finally arrived, Kirsty called Kate to tell her that she was certain she was in labour, and she should come over. 

Kate knocked briefly on the door and walked in – she was past needing to wait for her friend to come and let her in, but as she took her time turning around to close the door behind her – always conscious of her bump potentially knocking into things - she shouted her hello into the house. 

“Come on in” shouted Kirsty in response, as Kate turned back around and walked down the small corridor into the room where the sound came from. 

She immediately stopped in her tracks, her hand flying instinctively to her mouth in unexpected shock. 

“Kirsty, you’re naked!” exclaimed Kate. 

Kirsty wasn’t exactly naked.   She was covered by a dressing gown, but it was open rather than tied, her body and hair evidently wet like she had just been in the bath or shower.   She was sat on her birth ball, slowly rotating her hips in a figure eight motion as Kate rounded the corner into the room. 

She looked up and managed a smile, “Yeah and I’ve got a baby wanting to come out of me, so I win this round” 

Kate couldn’t help but giggle, when almost on cue, Kirsty’s face scrunched up as she brushed back the fabric of her robe from the right hand side of her belly and clamped her hand on it, rubbing it with slow circles.    Kate watched enraptured as Kirsty’s belly tensed and for a brief moment, an outline of a part of the baby was seen poking out.   She gasped without realising. 

Kirsty, seeing this happen, blew out her breath as the contraction passed and smiled once again.   “I take it you saw little bub’s butt?”   Kate nodded.   “Yeah its crazy, been watching it all morning as my belly tightens up.   I suppose it’s a downside of a small bump... not much free room in there I guess?” 

Kate asked “So how long have you been in labour for?” 

Kirsty looked up as if she was trying to work something out in her head.  “Well... I was straddled riding Tom last night” 

“Hey, do you not have any secrets!” shouted Tom from the next room. 

“Of course not baby, we are friends!” shouted Kirsty, grinning maniacally. “As I was saying before being rudely interrupted, I was riding my man like a beast, when I felt some contractions.   Not sure if the baby was fed up of being juggled around or some magic happened... when the magic happened, but they didn’t let up, not like any of those Braxton Hicks things I’d been having.” 

Kate nodded, her hand instinctively moving to her belly to feel the movement of the babies inside her at the mention of Braxton Hicks contractions, she was only 6 months along, and she knew she had those to look forward to when the babies had grown a little more – if that was possible – she was bigger than Kirsty right now, and Kirsty was in labour! 

Kirsty continued.  “I managed to get a couple of hours sleep, but at around about... oh... 5 I think I gave up after watching the clock for an hour and feeling the occasional cramp.   I knew they weren’t going away at this point and got excited you know.” 

Kate nodded as Kirsty continued.   “I got up to go to the toilet” - cue knowing nods from Kate - “had a little bite to eat, and just sat and watched TV for a few hours feeling the build-up and progression, having a good moan and groan to myself.   After Tom got up and noticed I wasn’t in bed, it had been several hours, and things had started to get a bit fruity, let me tell you.  Headed for a nice warm bath to try and get comfortable when I got in touch with you.  Had about an hour in there – it helped; I'll admit – but I figure it's about time to go to the birth centre.   So here we are, about an hour later, Tom has – I hope – finished packing, and I need to just get dressed a bit so I can go out in public.” 

Tom poked his head around the door.  “We’re all set – Hi Kate!” 

“Hi Tom” Kate held her hand up in greeting. 

Kirsty stands from the ball, arching her back as she simultaneously holds the underside of her belly and pulls, lifting her round midsection up.  “That feels so much better let me tell you, nothing like it to ease back pain.  Baby’s got no decency to stay well away from nerves.”   She shuffles back towards a chair where a dress is draped over the back of it, shrugging off the dressing gown into a pile on the floor behind her, she grabs the dress and starts to pull it over her head, the fabric gathering above her bump until she's pulled it over her head and able to pull it down. 

“No underwear?” queried Kate, as Kirsty shook a finger at her, dropping her head and grimacing, evident that another contraction had started to ramp up.   Kate moved over to her friend and got in as close as her own bump would let her, rubbing Kirsty’s back.   That seemed to help, and her tight, scowling expression relaxed a little as she felt the muscles of her back being softly massaged. 

Tom walked back into the room with a bag slung over his shoulder with their hospital things in, taking his wife's hands in his own, he slowly rubbed his thumbs over the back of her two hands whilst whispering to her that she was doing well, and she was well on her way to meeting their baby. 

As the contraction reached its peak and finally ebbed away, Kirsty felt she could breathe again, huffing out her breath with a groan.   The contractions were definitely getting worse as time went on... she figured it was going to be as much, but she was secretly hoping that they would reach a peak with their pain and intensity, and eventually just go on longer and longer.   She figured in her own head that was too much to ask for. 

The three made their way to the car – Kirsty and Tom just having upgraded their small hatchback they shared as a couple to something larger with the baby on the way.  Kate settled into the passenger seat as she pushed the seat back as much as she could, Kirsty sat in the back row, on the assumption that it would allow her a bit more freedom of movement should she need it during the ride – she didn’t like the idea of getting trapped in the passenger seat and be surrounded by all the dashboard and centre consoles and not being able to move around, even shuffle from left to right. 

Tom opened the boot, threw in the bag he was carrying, and promised he would be quick as he dashed back into the house.   Two pairs of pregnant women’s eyes followed his movements as he retreated.   He returned a few moments later with the car seat for the baby, and placed that in the back as well, not wanting to set it up in position for now in case Kirsty wanted to move around. 

“Lets go have a baby!” he yelled, the emotions he had bottled up finally releasing into a yell of triumph that he and his wife were on their way.    

As the engine burst into life, another contraction started assaulting Kirsty’s belly.   She groaned, resulting in Tom turning around before pulling away.   “Just drive!” Kirsty growled a little, completely unintentionally.   Noticing Tom’s expression drop, she took a breath and added, in a more reasonable tone “Sooner we get moving, the sooner we get there.   I’m expecting a few more of these on the way, and Kate can help me cope.  Just want you to focus on the road to get us there in one piece.”  Tom nodded and pulled away, glancing back at the rear-view mirror to see Kirsty lying back, rubbing furiously at her belly. 

Tom set a decent pace, keeping to the speed limit, but weaving between lanes to keep moving and not end up in queues.   Kirsty went through several contractions in the car, typically when they ramped up to higher intensities, she leaned her head on the seat in front and pushed her hand forward, allowing Kate to grab it and hold on as she squeezed, often grasping Kirsty’s hand with both of hers.   Tom kept the compliments and encouragement going all the way through the drive - “You’re doing well baby, keep on doing that, breathe nice and deep, pant out the pain.”  Kate chimed in at appropriate times “That’s it Kirst, squeeze my hand nice and tight, just keep on thinking about meeting the baby.” 

Kirsty shuffled from side to side in the seat as she tried to keep comfortable, struggling with the sensations of labour getting more and more pronounced as the drive went on.   Tom was of course driving as quick as he could, which resulted in one rapid stop as a car appeared in front of him unexpectedly.    The stop-start nature of the journey, coupled with her own hormones, and the surprising heat generated by her own pregnant body left her feeling nauseous, so she wound down the window and let the cool air blast into her face for a while.   

At one point, Kirsty had almost gotten to her wits end, tired of sitting in the same position, the pain in her lower back becoming more and more intense as the drive and her labour progressed.    She managed to get her body rotated in the seat, so she had her knees pressed against the seat, her belly sticking out into the area where she was sitting a few moments earlier, and her hands grasping the headrest as she moaned a sorrowful sounding wail, a contraction almost breaking her.   Tom had little he could do to assist, and even Kate couldn’t really get her hand back far enough, only really brushing hers against her friends thigh, so both were left looking through the rear view mirror at the labouring woman and feeling powerless to help other than to keep on telling her that they were getting closer and closer to the birthing centre. 

When the group were almost there, about 2-3 minutes from the hospital, Kirsty let out a growl which suddenly turned into an exclaimation.  “GrrrrrrooooohSHIT!”   Kate turned around as best she could, and Tom, all credit to him, didn’t take his eyes off the road but asked what had happened. 

“Water broke... I think” replied Kirsty speaking in a pained tone, eyes scrunched up in the middle of a contraction, she pulled her hands out from between her legs and brought up fingers that were glistening with fluid. 

Tom gasped, asking “Do I stop, do I go... were almost there?” 

Kate looked at him.  “Get to the birthing centre, I don’t think she's in any risk of pushing the baby out right here.” 

Kirsty answered silently by shaking her head.  Gasping a “go” as best she could, Tom got the message and drove on. 

Kirsty squirmed in the seat, feeling the wetness of her clothes cling to her.   She mumbled a quick “Sorry guys” as she lifted her backside off the seat and pulled at her dress, lifting it up above her bump, exposing her lower half and sitting back down.  “That was uncomfortable.”    Tom could only stare in disbelief as Kate smiled.  “Whatever helps you cope.” 

As the car arrived in the car park, Kate offered to go in and get things ready for the couple, presuming that Kirsty would need a moment to get herself tidied up and out of the car.   Of course, being 6 months pregnant with twins, and sporting a large belly herself didn’t exactly mean she was able to jump out of the car herself and head over quickly either. 

She eventually managed to extract herself from the seat and with a half run-half waddle she pushed the door to the birthing centre open to be greeted by a receptionist. 

“Hi” said Kate.   “We rang ahead, got a baby coming.   Waters just broken on the journey in.” 

The receptionist looked at Kate and got the wrong end of the stick, thinking she was the woman in labour. 

“Please take a seat ma’am and I'll bring the admittance forms over to you... or do you feel that you would need a wheelchair and to go straight to the assessment room?” 

“Wh...wha?” Kate was taken aback momentarily until she put 2 and 2 together.  “Oh... no... my friend is in labour.   I’ve got a fair old while to go, still only 6 months along.”   Kate was not sure if it was the frantic nature of the drive into the area, but this set her off giggling.   Kirsty is going to love hearing this. 

“I think the wheelchair could be useful for our labouring mamma though,” noted Kate as the receptionist nodded.  “You should see the couple in the car park.” 

An orderly took one of the wheelchairs which were stacked to the side and wheeled it out to greet the labouring couple, as the receptionist asked for Kirsty's name, brought up her records on the screen and clicked a few locations on the screen, announcing that she was all set. 

The orderly came in backwards, wheeling Kirsty in front of him in reverse, Tom following with the bag close behind the small group.   As the orderly spun the chair around so Kirsty faced the receptionist, Kirsty let out a slight smile and a nod of greeting. 

The receptionist greeted her with her own beaming smile and wished her good luck, advising the orderly to take the group to assessment room 2.   Tom and Kate followed on behind the wheelchair bound Kirsty as the three of them and the orderly entered a room.    

“I’ll come back and get the chair when you’ve been assessed, just sit tight and our midwife will be here in just a couple of minutes... or if you’d like a hand up, I can help?” 

“Please, help me stand” asked Kirsty.   The orderly and Tom helped her get up whilst Kate wheeled the chair to the side of the room.  “Thanks, I’ve been sitting for a while in the car, I just want to move around.” 

“Not a problem” the orderly smiled.   He pointed over to buzzer on the wall.  “There’s an intercom there if you need to reach reception, but you shouldn’t have much of a wait.” 

As the orderly leaves, Kirsty’s hand goes to her bump again as she waddles over to grasp onto a handrail on the wall.   Her walk is noticeably bow-legged as she tries to avoid the damp patch on the back her dress which is clearly visible from behind.  “I just realised how soaked I am now the dress isn't stuck to me,” she manages, between huff and puff breaths as she focuses on the contraction. 

“Hopefully they have the pool you wanted ready, then you can take off the dress and just relax in the water.” thought Tom, speaking out loud. 

“Sounds heavenly...” Kirsty replied, holding herself up with one hand as she bent over with the pain, clutching at her belly with the other.  “These have gotten a LOT worse since the waters went.  Like someone's taken away the cushion I had.”   She vocalised a low moan as she worked through the contraction. 

There was a knock at the door, and the midwife the couple had been dealing with during their prenatal care walked through, she was known as Suzi.   Definitely an out of towner as she was not really much older than Kirsty and Kate, but didn’t follow the same naming convention of those in the town. 

She noticed Kirsty working her way through a contraction and waited for it to finish – Kirsty, wrapping her arms around Tom as she stood with a wide stance, moving her hips left and right as she vocalised a low moan.   As the contraction finished, and she managed to stand back up fully and look around at the new entrant into the room, Kirsty’s eyes rose up and met Suzi’s, who smiled in response.  “So how's my mother and sneaky little baby then?” 

“We’re fine, and I think baby really wants to show itself now” replied Kirsty, her hand rubbing her bump. 

What Suzi referred to was Kirstys apparent lack of bump.  All of the ultrasound scans and other checks that she had went through suggested the baby was growing normally, and in fact was suggesting that it was going to be very big when it was born – but her apparent lack of bump was baffling.  Suzi could only shrug when asked to explain it, and just replied saying that sometimes bumps just don’t pop out much.  Her uterus, and subsequently the baby growing within it, seemed to be quite deep in her body, so the outward signs were significantly less than many other women, but everything was perfectly normal and not to worry about it. 

“Can I check you over?” asked Suzi, as Kirsty nodded, adding “Do you mind if I take off this dress... it’s a bit wet?”    

“If it would help, go right ahead, want me to bring you something else to wear?” she asked. 

“No... no thanks.   Feeling a bit hot and bothered if I’m honest – hoping a bit of naked time might help cool me down.”   Kirsty blushed as she said it, not exactly sure what the etiquette would be for a situation like this. 

“Hey... you’re the labouring mamma... you call the shots” grinned Suzi as she offered her hand to help Kirsty onto the bed.   Kirsty hiked her dress up over her bump as she had done before in the car and then took Suzi’s hand and Toms and managed to get herself on the bed.   Tom lifted off her dress and folded it over, putting it away in a plastic bag to be washed later. 

Suzi donned her gloves, and with a “OK, deep breath in” she put her hands between Kirsty’s legs and into her vagina.   Kirsty squirmed a little as she groaned at the unpleasant sensation but a few moments later, Suzi withdrew her fingers and pulled off the gloves.  “You’re doing well... at 6 centimetres, so still a way to go, but I’m happy to get you admitted... no need to go home.” 

Kirsty breathed a sigh of relief.   She wasn’t expecting to get turned away, but she’d read all sorts of horror stories of women who had laboured all day and found that they were only 2-3 centimetres dilated when they got to the birth centre and were sent back home for longer.   Frankly she didn’t think she could manage another car ride. 

“I’ll be back in a few minutes with a gown you can wear... don’t think you’d want to move down to our delivery suite in your current state of undress” Suzi turned and walked out of the room with a grin. 

Kirsty swung her legs by the side of the bed and sat and chatted a little while with Kate and Tom.  As the time passed, another contraction started to grow, so she closed her eyes and focused on rubbing her belly, reaching out for Tom, who grabbed her hand in response, as Kirsty was left grimacing in pain. Kate looked on concerned, not only for the simple fact that her good friend was in pain, but seeing how much the pain was having a visible effect on Kirsty, she was worried that she would have it all to come. 

Kirsty came out of the contraction looking up at her friend who was rubbing her belly sheepishly.  “Hope I'm not scaring you...” she managed with a smile.   Kate lied, saying no, putting on a brave face so as not to let her friend worry when she needed to concentrate on herself.   “Babies are just having a wrestle in here I think, don’t know what it is, but they’re crazy active right now... I don’t know, perhaps I'm just noticing it more considering the situation.”  

There was a knock at the door interrupting their heart to heart, as Suzi walked back in the room, closing the door behind her, ripping open a plastic wrapper as she walked towards Kirsty and handed her the gown she had just unpacked.   Holding her free hand and shoulder, Suzi helped Kirsty off the bed as she pulled the clothing over her head. 

“Ready when you are, let's go have a baby!” Kirsty seemed suddenly full of energy, knowing she was moving on with her labour.   Suzi nodded and led the group out of the room, down the corridor and into the delivery suite area of the building – Kirsty stopping midway to hold onto the wall as a contraction worked its way through her.  After making sure she was OK, they continued their way to a door, which was opened in front of the group leading to a low-lit room, the area dominated by the pool in the middle of the room.    Kirsty’s eyes lit up seeing the inviting water. 

Kirsty took off the gown again, waiting a little while as Suzi strapped a monitor to her belly to monitor the contractions, and she was finally released to go into the water.    As she took Tom’s offered hand, her legs entered the water one after another with an audible splash.   Standing in the tub she rocked side to side as another contraction built up, her hands grasping both of Tom’s and squeezing tight.   Kirsty’s eyes were closed as she worked through it, until finally it passed and she sighed as she lowered herself down into the water, blissful relief evident on her face. 

Kirsty sat in the water with her legs butterflied out, soles together as she took in a deep breath, her hands working an ache in the underside of her belly.  The next contraction built up and it was clear that this felt different to Kirsty by the noises she was making – giving a low, humming noise rather than the grunts and groans she had been doing before.   She smiled as the contraction ebbed away, stating that she was so glad to be back in the water, it felt like the pains were so much less intense with the water to help. 

After the hectic run up to this point, suddenly everything was calm.   Over the course of the next hour, Kirsty worked her contractions in the tub, taking time out between the surges to find time to have a joke and conversation with Tom and Kate, the water doing what is should to mask the pain of the contractions.   Suzi popped in back and forth over the time and kept her notes, bringing in some gas and air for Kirsty as things picked up close to the end of the hour.   Kirsty took plenty of opportunity to breathe deeply on the mouthpiece, groaning with the contractions as they picked up intensity as the labour progressed. 

Things got more emotional as Kirsty entered transition though.   The pain had ramped up considerably, to the point where the water and gas and air wasn’t helping, Kirsty was starting to mumble to herself, focusing inward as she could do nothing but yell out as each contraction got to her, ramped up, and then seemed to only let go for a moment before its next friend gripped her. 

Tom was starting to fret, feeling helpless in the situation, whilst Kate was simply looking on aghast, finding her friend not coping well with the pain, and being concerned that she would need to go through this soon herself. 

Kirsty got Tom to get in the pool and hold her as she went through the contractions – she was starting to feel the ill effects of the late-stage labour, feeling all shaky and nauseous – but Tom’s presence, holding her, whispering to her that she was doing great, keeping her focused helped her to progress.  Thankfully for the transition phase, it didn’t last long, and after around 30 minutes, where Kirsty was getting well and truly fed up with the pain she suddenly felt the urge to push. 

Suzi leaned over the edge of the pool and managed to reach between Kirsty’s legs to check her dilation – sure enough, she was at 10cm and was good to go.   Both Tom and Kate let out sighs of relief knowing that the difficult transition period was finally over, and hoping that Kirsty getting to push would help her deal with the pain better – when she was back in control. 

The first push felt like heaven to Kirsty.   She could finally do something.   Tom sloshed around the pool to kneel down next to her shoulder and give her support, whilst Kirsty screamed like a banshee as she pushed, putting all the frustration she had just been through into a monumental effort to get things moving.   Kate moved around the pool to get a look, morbid curiosity ruling her thoughts at the moment.   She was very disappointed that Kirsty’s long, 10 second push showed absolutely no external effects whatsoever. 

Another push, then another and finally a fourth and suddenly Kate jumped.   “I’ve just seen it.”   Tom leaned over to glance between Kirstys legs and sure enough, as she pushed with a loud roar, her lips parted, and something could be seen in the gap it created.   As she let off the push the shape slipped away, but both Kate and Tom were buoyed by the result, the energy of which motivated Kirsty to keep on going. 

Over the course of the next 10 minutes, Kirsty put a monumental effort into pushing out her baby, and felt success as she reached down and felt the shape growing and growing with each set of effort she put in. But something was wrong. She didn’t know if it was mothers intuition, or something she felt when she was expecting to feel the head of the baby, but she called Suzi over – who had been pleased with the progress so far and started to prepare her notes whilst Tom and Kate were keeping Kirsty motivated. 

Suzi popped over and took a quick glimpse between Kirstys legs, just to get a shock. She didn’t let on too much, but urged Kirsty to push when she felt the next contraction, waiting with baited breath for it to happen. It didn’t take long until Kirsty was once more pulling on her legs in the tub and pushing out the mass between her legs. Suzi’s fears were confirmed when she realised that the thing which was coming out was not the babys head, but its behind. 

“Kirsty... your baby is breech” Suzi infomed Kirsty, trying to keep a calm tone in her voice. Tom reacted first. 

“Does this change anything? Does she need a section or something for that?” 

Kirsty soon reacted to the change in atmosphere in the room, gasping hard, releasing her push mid contraction and wailing out loud as her body reactively forced her to keep on pushing.  

Suzi did her best to keep all in the room calm and on the immediate need to focus on Kirsty’s labour. “Nothing needs to change. You can still push out this baby naturally.... it’s just coming out butt first... Kate or Tom – when it’s time, I’ll need you to support the baby, as we will need to get mum out of the tub and more vertical.”  

Kirsty interrupted “I need Tom... this hurts so bad.” 

Kate nodded “Guess that answers that question then... best get my catcher’s mitt.” 

Suzi nodded. “Right... well, here’s our game plan. When the body is born, I’ll ask Kirsty to stand and use gravity to help give birth to the head. Kate, you support the baby as it comes out, and Kirsty – because the cord will potentially be caught between the emerging head and the body which is already outside, we need to focus on speed to deliver the head so the cord isn’t restricted for too long. I’m afraid you will need to push your hardest to get this head out of you as quick as you can. Do you think you can do it?” 

Kirsty nodded, not able to answer verbally as she immediately folded over to start her pushing on the next contraction. Not sure if it was Suzi’s dire warning or not, but she seemed to push with a lot more might than before, holding Tom’s hand and squeezing as hard as she could to get through the contraction. Suzi and Kate looked on at the baby emerging from between Kirsty’s legs. 

It was clear after this contraction that the thing which was coming out was the baby’s behind, as now the hips – legs folded up into the babys body – were clearly visible. What Kate found unusual was sheer size of the infants body which was stretching her friend open – the stretch was easily as big as any head she had seen on any of the ‘preparing for birth’ video’s she had seen – she looked over at Suzi who wasn’t reacting to the size, just focusing on the area between Kirstys legs to make sure things were going as they should. 

Kate shook her head, presuming she was worrying about nothing, and went back to rubbing a cloth on her friends head and giving her encouragement.  

Suzi jumped in now. “Hands and knees please. We need to be ready to help you stand up when the time comes.” 

Kirsty accepted support from the three others in the room as she wriggled in the pool to get onto her knees – her movements limited by the sheer size of the infant between her legs. The next push as she was vertical had the legs fully born, which flopped down. Kirsty gave a yell – unsure if it was simply pain, or a sense of triumphant success as she felt the movement – her hands were now spread out either side of her, one held by Tom, one by Kate. 

The next push had the body fully born, Kirsty surprisingly making very little noise at this point, simply focusing on the push. The baby was facing with its back towards the group, so Suzi leaned in and felt for the cord, making sure that it wasn’t caught on the neck, before trying to manage the task of lifting Kirsty up for the task of giving birth to the head. 

She gave an affirmative that everything was going well, and asked Kate to get behind Kirsty and be ready to reach down into the pool to support the baby, Tom to take her under her armpits and be ready to lift. 

Kate took a moment to peek around the front at the baby when her hand went to her lips. “How did you fit all that in there?” she gasped out – noting the sheer size of the baby in comparison to her friends dainty bump.  

Suzi scolded her. “Please, we need to be quick.” 

Kirsty gasped out loud “I need to push, quickly.” 

Sheepishly, Kate realised that she had made an error and got into her assigned space. She was forced to lift her own bump up so she could lean over the edge of the pool, her bump hefted over the top, Kate as a result ending up on her tiptoes, her large bump splashing into the water as she reached towards the area between Kirsty’s legs. “Got it.” she confirmed. 

Tom heaved up whilst Suzi supported the baby from the front, waiting for Kate. As she felt her hands grasp the infant from behind, she let go and moved her hands up to Kirsty’s vagina. Kirsty was now upright on her own feet, water draining off her. She didn’t have a moment to lose as she squatted down, opening up her legs and pushed.  

Her howl was deafening to Tom who had his head close to his wife’s, grasping onto her with all his strength. Suzi pushed hard on Kirstys lips, separating them and giving what help she could to ensure that the cord didn’t get trapped by the emerging head. 

Kate stood aghast at the amount of effort and pain that her friend was in as she pushed again and again, her inhibitions gone, the power of gravity pulling the weighty body down along with her primal need to push. Kirsty didn’t stop pushing until the head was out – and it took 3 long minutes. Even when the contraction had stopped, she yelled out loud and grunted with effort. 

Kirsty leaned her weight forward as she pushed, relying more and more on Tom for support. The position change tipped her vagina away from Suzi’s hands, and the midwife dashed around to behind Kirsty to stand alongside Kate, who at this point had gotten a full on view of her friends stretching vagina as the head emerged. 

As the head reached its widest point, stretched to a point where Kate didn’t think would be physically possible for the human body to achieve, Kirsty let out a scream of pain which turned Kate’s blood to ice. In front of her eyes, her friend was tearing, and Kate couldn’t do anything to stop it. 

Her hands were covered in blood and all Kate could do was sit open mouthed at the vision in front of her. Kirsty had not ceased in her pushing efforts, oblivious to the damage that she had done to herself. She couldn’t think, just react to the unstoppable force of the instinct that the boulder between her legs needed to be outside of her body. 

Suzi looked over to Kate, seeing the friend’s frightened look she whispered to her “Don’t worry, we’ll sort that out before she even realises, she’ll be so high on happy hormones.” 

And with that, the baby dropped into Kate’s hands. Without the weight of it held by Kirsty, Kate wasn’t expecting the bulk and had to adjust from her already precarious position on her tiptoes to hold onto the slippery bundle but she held on by some instinctual force she didn’t even realise she had. 

Kirsty was panting as she realised the head had finally come out, shell shocked into mutely staring forward. Kate spoke first. “Take the baby babe!” 

Kirsty suddenly realised what had happened. “Is it over? Is the head out?” She let go of Tom and shuffled back, reaching between her legs to take the waxy, blood covered bundle from between her legs as Kate shoved it forward, almost overbalancing in the process. 

Kirsty sank into the water, suddenly realising the pool was blood-red. She looked up at Suzi. “Everything OK?” she enquired. 

“Just a small tear. We’ll let you rest a few minutes, deal with the afterbirth and see about getting those dealt with when it’s time. For now, bond with your baby.” 

Tom looked up at Kate who held her fingers up behind Kirsty’s back in a ‘pinch’ motion – with her fingers being around an inch apart. She mouthed to Tom “I saw her tear. I saw it all.” Not wanting to say anything out loud in case it startled Kirsty. 

Over the course of the next hour or two, as Kirsty was cleaned up and the baby – a girl which they decided to call Laura to keep up with the naming tradition – was given a clean bill of health, all that was going through Kate’s mind was that her friend, with the tiny bump, gave birth to a 13 pound baby, and struggled as a result. She had a bigger bump than her friend did for several months prior, and she still had time to grow.  

She was worried – whatever her friend had to deal with, she had to do it twice. And one thing was certain, time was certainly not going to stand still for her whilst she prepared herself for it. 

[roseofdarknessblog]

Precious little moments (Levi Ackerman x Reader)

Word count: 1 430

Disclaimer: english is not my first language, I apologize in advance for any mistakes

Summary: Dad Levi has been on my mind a lot lately so... 😅

Precious little moments

„So, what do you think about today? Was it worth all the trouble? All the crying while getting ready?“ you asked Levi, who was holding your hand while you walked through a pumpkin patch in the direction of your car. Your newborn daughter was contently sleeping in the baby carrier on her father's chest, snuggled up under his coat.

„It was nice, I have to admit,“ Levi said and squeezed your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles.

Having a baby was still something new to both of you. No books or antenatal classes could prepare you for everything parenthood was about. Even after four weeks since your daughter was born, both you and Levi were still learning.

„I was so excited for this. Experiencing the holiday season with her for the very first time.“

Levi chuckled quietly, making your heart melt when he looked down at his daughter and kissed the top of her head – it was covered in silky black hair just like his. She was wearing a cute orange bow with a little pumpkin in the middle. „She came just in time for her mother's favorite spooky season,“ he said and looked at you with so much love in his pale grayish-blue eyes.

„I can't wait to put her in that pumpkin onesie Hange brought her yesterday. She's going to be so cute.“

Your best friend shared your love for the Halloween season. Hange's house turned into a spooky kingdom every single year and you loved helping them with decorating and setting everything up for Halloween night. However, this year everything was much different. When Hange started decorating like their life depended on it, you were just about to give birth. After that, your hands were full every second of the day because being a new mom was more challenging than you expected.

But you had no reason to panic or feel overwhelmed. Not when Levi was by your side and helped you with every single thing. He even took over decorating your own house a little because he knew that you would be sad if you missed your favorite season.

„To be honest, I was looking forward to days like this one.“

A smile made its way to your lips. „Really?“ you asked Levi.

You really had a beautiful afternoon together as a family. The weather was still fairly nice, chilly just enough to give these last few October days the right atmosphere. It was the perfect opportunity to get out of the house and enjoy one of the most beautiful aspects of the autumn season.

Going to a pumpkin patch was yours and Levi's little tradition. Even if life got busy, you found time for this activity every single year. But this time it was way more special thanks to your baby, who Levi fell in love with the moment he saw her. Just a few hours after birth, she was already her father's precious little girl.

„It was nice while it was only the two of us, but having her here just makes everything... I don't know, more enjoyable?“ He shrugged and put his free arm around his daughter protectively.

„I love seeing you as a father. It suits you,“ you said happily and leaned over to kiss his cheek lovingly.

The pumpkin patch was full of people just like you. Everybody was enjoying the bright autumn sun and the overall atmosphere. Kids were running and playing around, while their parents were watching, picking out pumpkins, or enjoying a nice fall snack or drink.

The calmness which could be felt in the air all around, made you feel so at ease with life as it was right at that moment. You felt so grateful for having the opportunity to spend such a beautiful time with your own little family.

„She'll be running around here next year just like that kid over there,“ Levi said after a moment, looking at a young family nearby. Their little boy seemed to be around a year old and he was already walking nicely on his own.

„And you'll be right behind her to make sure she's not going to hurt herself,“ you said jokingly and nudged his side playfully.

„Tch, of course I will. Kids are a disaster when they start walking. Always falling and getting dirty.“

You laughed and took one last look over the festive pumpkin patch before you headed to the car. It was time to head home since Levi's mom was coming over for dinner. And although Kuchel told you not to worry about the food, you wanted to cook something delicious for her. She's been a huge help since you and Levi became parents. It seemed that being a grandmother was all she was ever missing from her life.

„What should I cook for your mom?“ you asked Levi and helped him get the baby out of the carrier.

She cried a little when she suddenly didn't feel her father's warmth but calmed down as soon as Levi held her in his arms again, rocking her to sleep before putting her into the car seat. Little moments like this made you sure that giving Levi a baby was the best thing you could have ever done. He has been a natural since day one. Somehow, he always knew what your little angel needed and was able to calm her down within seconds.

„Nothing, she wants to cook for us tonight,“ Levi said and kissed your daughter's chubby little cheek. She was watching him from the car seat, still holding one of his fingers with her little hand. „Now, you have to let go, angel. Otherwise, I can't drive us home,“ he said to the baby, looking at her tenderly.

„Go sit in the back with her, I'll drive,“ you said after a moment and kissed both him and your daughter.

„We're going to spoil her like this.“

„Yeah, with love and care. How horrible,“ you laughed.

Levi smirked over your comment and got into the back seat next to your daughter, who thanks to that stayed quiet the entire ride home. And to be honest, you were enjoying your time behind the wheel. The sun was slowly setting, painting the sky with the most beautiful shades of gold and orange. From both sides, the road was guarded by tall trees in colors such as green, yellow, orange, red, and brown. They truly looked like from a perfect autumn fairytale. It was almost a shame when you finally arrived home.

The front porch of your house was decorated nicely every single year. Although Levi hated carving pumpkins, he couldn't say no to you and your cute pleading smile. This year he carved eight pumpkins by himself and hung up the witch with her flying broom over the stairs. He also put out the two little light-up ghost statues you got last year in a big sale after Halloween was over.

Making you happy was one of Levi's top priorities so he usually went along with every crazy idea you had. Sometimes with a little lecturing but still.

„This was very nice. Our first little trip as a family,“ you sighed contently when you parked the car. „We didn't go far but that doesn't matter. It was still very much needed in my opinion.“ When Levi didn't say anything, you turned around to look at him.

He was so focused on your daughter that he didn't even notice you talking to him. His eyes were lingering over her sleeping face, his thumb still in a firm grip of her tiny hand. At that moment you wondered if Levi ever looked this calm and in love before. Becoming a father gave him new confidence and made him softer in the best way possible. To others, he was the same stoic person as before. But when he was with you and your daughter, he truly seemed like a brand new man.

„Darling...“ you said after another moment, trying to gain his attention. „You okay?“

He nodded without saying a word, leaning down and kissing the top of the baby's head. Only then he looked at you, a truly calm and relaxed expression on his handsome face.

„She's really all we needed to make our lives even better,“ he said after a while and reached for your hand. „Thank you.“

You took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly, trying to keep your emotions in check. This truly was all you ever wanted. Giving yourself and Levi a life full of happiness and precious little moments like this one.

[tia-amorosa]

🌴Lucky Palms🌴

Marisol & Clark - The little big happiness (1)

A few weeks and months have passed. Marisol and Clark have grown even closer and are slowly but surely ready to take their relationship to the next level. They attended antenatal classes to be fully prepared for their baby. But when are you completely ready? It's the middle of the night… “Clark…Clark, wake up”. Marisol's voice was excited, frantic, but he pulled the comforter over his head. “why, why don't you let me sleep…”.

Clark had had a long day and really wanted to sleep all night, but he couldn't and didn't immediately realize what was going on. Until he got up and saw that Marisol was in labor. “Shit, NOW?”/ “hu-hu-huu, yes, now”/ “but what… What should I do?”

She looked at him suspiciously. “Are you really serious? We've already discussed this, the bag is packed and you're calling a cab!"/ ‘Oh man, okay, bag… cab, anything else?’/ ‘yeah - Don't forget to get dressed’. The last few days have been particularly exhausting for Marisol, so her mood is a little low. He called the cab and they drove to the hospital together.

The cab came quickly. During the ride, Clark held her hand and lovingly stroked her belly. They both had to practise what they had learned in the pregnancy course. Breathing evenly together, not too fast, not too slow. And eventually they arrived at the hospital. Fortunately, there wasn't much going on, so they were able to take care of Marisol quickly.

It all happened quite quickly. Marisol was taken to one of the rooms where the women gave birth. Clark was glad that there were people there who were more familiar with such situations. He simply stood by Marisol and held her hand. And they kept looking at the clock. It was a very stressful process, especially for the mother-to-be, because the baby was taking its time.

It took almost an hour, during which Marisol struggled with her strength. But then it went very quickly. After she had to push a few times and Clark had the feeling that he was about to lose his hand, their son was born. They hadn't thought about a name yet, but Marisol spontaneously decided that he should be called Enrico.

Lucky Palms now had one more resident. At the hospital, they were told that there was a lot of new blood in the town at the moment and that they were happy about it. After the initial examinations had been completed, Marisol was taken to a room. The new family should at least stay until the next morning and not drive home in the middle of the night.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

End of this Part

@cozygirlsimmer💓

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Andrew Reiner

Published: Jun 6, 2024

For a long time, the internet and social media have been bloated with memes, even articles, that denigrate men and most forms of traditional masculinity. Many of the people behind these posts insist that they are simply snarky barbs aimed at people with the most “privilege” who can’t take a joke.

If there was ever any doubt about the veracity of or honesty behind such a statement, a growing trend appears to pull back the veil.

Recently, the online magazine Slate ran an eye-opening story revealing that many young couples are using in vitro fertilization to ensure they conceive daughters instead of sons. In other countries, IVF is legal only as a screening measure to detect the likelihood for genetic diseases. Not in the U.S., where IVF clinics have mushroomed in number over the past two decades because prospective parents want freedom of choice.  

In one American study, white parents picked a female embryo 70 percent of the time. A 2010 study showed that American adoptive parents were 30 percent more likely to prefer girls than boys, and were willing to pay an additional $16,000 to ensure they got a girl. 

One 31-year-old woman interviewed for that piece, who works in human resources (an industry dedicated to equity and parity) said, “When I think about having a child that’s a boy, it’s almost a repulsion, like, Oh my God, no.”

Such disturbing sentiments are widespread in the U.S. and are part of a growing trend in Western cultures — popularly called Gender Disappointment. An Australian psychologist who specializes in antenatal and postnatal care conducted a Facebook survey and found that Gender Disappointment is most common in women, who unabashedly want daughters, not sons. One woman posted on a mothers’ chat board that the “vast majority” of women on “every social media (Facebook, Instagram) site or general website (Netmums, Mumsnet, Reddit)” voice this gender bias. “There are websites like ingender and genderdreaming just dedicated to Gender disappointment…some of them are straight out Boy bashing or anti boy posts.”

This invites the question: What exactly is it about having boys that seems so repellent? Many of the women in the Slate article, even mothers of boys, pointed to that sweeping, damning and vague label “toxic masculinity.” They spoke to girls’ “limitless potential” versus that of boys. Girls move out of the house earlier, achieve greater academic success, are more likely to attend and graduate from college, find jobs more readily than male peers and have higher emotional IQ.

One woman insisted that boys are “less caring toward their parents.” This woman craves a ‘“close friendship”’ with her future child that ‘“seemed possible only with a female child.”’  

It isn’t just women. Another interviewee echoed the sentiments of many younger men when she said her husband values characteristics ‘“more [stereotypically] associated with girls,”’ such as “empathy, social skills, and kindness.”

This invites the question: If these skills are so important — and they are, as schools, workplaces and relationships increasingly demand them — why can’t we simply teach them to boys?  

Such gender bias is emblematic of the selective empathy trend in which people proffer tolerance, compassion and context only for those they deem worthy. Though unintentional, this was what Rachel, who works in spaces that empower girls and women, was speaking to after reading my book.

“I had no idea so many men struggle deep down and have these anguished inner lives,” she said. “Many of us have this belief that men’s privilege insulates them from the struggles the rest of us have.”

I absolutely appreciated her sincerity and thoughtful admission. And the lack of empathy that belies many girls’ and women’s perception of boys and men is problematic. It’s maladaptive and robs males — one-half of the population — of their humanity and very real struggles.

Part of the reason this dearth of empathy exists is that too many men have abdicated their responsibilities. The men who are wounded by this brand of toxic messaging don’t speak up because they are afraid of the backlash, especially of being “canceled” or widely attacked on social media. They fear being labeled (unfairly) as extremist “Men’s Rights” apologists.

And the men who do speak up rarely do so in a productive way. Too often they shrug and pretend not to care, and instead take their grievances to the online “manosphere’s” dark corners, where they exact revenge among a receptive, misogynistic audience.   

It’s also time that women did some soul searching — that they stop and reconsider their prevailing, limiting perceptions about men and masculinity. Their own personal experiences with men don’t apply across the board, and such wanton attacks on and wholesale dismissal of boys and men only perpetuate and normalize a reactivity that’s uncritical and self-pitying.

A more productive social media post might feature a montage of boys and men with this caption: “Yes, you need to level up…you also deserve empathy and compassion along the way.” It’s not catchy, but it moves the conversation forward in a way we need it to go.

[diazsdimples]

I'm on an antenatal shift rn and one of our HCA's just walked in and said "boy it sure is quiet tonight!".

And then one of our very premature mothers went into labour.

The jinx has begun 😭 pls send me shit to keep me sane through what I anticipate to be a hectic shift

[caradoulasupport]

The Benefits of a Postnatal Doula 

How can a doula support you after the birth of your baby?

What is a postnatal doula?

A postnatal or postpartum doula can be defined as a non-medical professional who provides support to new parents and their families. Their focus includes post-birth recovery, changing family dynamics and newborn care. They provide informational, practical, emotional and physical support. It can be difficult to define the role as it is ever-changing and constantly evolving according to the needs of the family at a particular time. Oftentimes it requires a careful observation and response to what is happening in real time, possibly throwing well laid plans out the window after a sleepless night or in response to something unexpected coming up. This is the magic of a postnatal doula - whatever you need support with in a particular moment is exactly the reason for them being there. 

The other magic of a postnatal doula is that - yes, they are there to support you to the best of their ability AND they are completely impartial, providing a calm, well-informed undercurrent of evidence-based information to let you assess any tricky situations that arise and come to a decision that suits your family. A postnatal doula who can quickly give you the correct information from reputable sources can prevent new parents from disappearing down the rabbit hole of questionable internet searches! 

So when is the ideal time to start thinking about a postnatal doula? Ideally, during pregnancy equal consideration should be given to planning for the postpartum period, or 4th trimester, as in planning for the birth. There is a considerable amount of time and money invested in planning for the ideal birth, however, very often postpartum can be seen as a bit of an afterthought, although it lasts considerably longer than the birth! Some independent antenatal education classes will now focus more on how to prepare for the postpartum period as well as preparing for the birth. The end goal of pregnancy has been portrayed as a healthy mum and baby - however this is just the beginning of the journey for this new family! The postnatal period deserves to be given the same, if not more, consideration as planning for birth. 

What measures are currently in place to support the mother once she has given birth?

Once a mother in Ireland has had her baby, she receives a visit from the Public Health Nurse within 72 hours which involves a neonatal examination and a maternal health assessment. This is followed by one postnatal check-up by the GP at 6 weeks post birth. If there is anything that requires further examination or treatment within this 6 week period the mother will be referred for further support, however outside of this period the onus is on the mother to follow up on any issues she may be experiencing. While the postpartum period is defined as the first 42 days after birth (or 6 weeks), it can also be referred to as the 4th trimester, if you consider the first 12 weeks postpartum. The postnatal period can actually last much longer than this, up to 12 months after the birth of the baby. The care that is provided by a postnatal doula can be crucial in filling the gap that currently exists for women in their postpartum care and may be essential in identifying underlying physical or mental health issues that would otherwise be missed in a perinatal health system that is overworked and under-resourced.

The mothers place in society

In today's society the idea of individuation and striving for independence has won out over community and building relationships outside of our immediate nuclear families. We are not supposed to parent in isolation, yet in many parts of the Western world, including Ireland, this is how it is evolving to be - parenting in our own little pockets of isolation. This is a major change from only a few decades ago, where Irish demography was often multigenerational in form, large in size and supported financially by a single male breadwinner. 

Where does the mother fit into this society? While it is largely acknowledged that fathers are taking a much more active role in their children’s care than ever before, the main, day-to-day care of the children still remains with the mother. If the mother is not well supported, particularly in the 4th trimester, there is a much greater chance that her mental health will suffer in the long term, and the current 6 week window of care is not sufficient to support mothers and their mental health. Postnatal doulas are very well placed within the community to observe and provide a link between the mother and appropriate healthcare service providers in a timely manner if needed. The postnatal doula can also provide a link to community groups and help the new parents to feel integrated within this community enabling them to feel connected and confident in their new role as parents. 

Embracing the 4th trimester as a rite of passage

In Western countries the notion of a “resting period” or a dedicated postpartum period of recovery, which uses traditional remedies and practices to help the mother to recover, is seen as a luxury and possibly a bit self-indulgent. In this social media age there is monumental pressure to “bounce back”, to be out and about with the baby instead of resting and recovering from a huge life event. 

Matrescence is defined as the process of becoming a mother, and includes the physical, hormonal, emotional, psychological and relational changes that occur during this process. It was first described in the 1970’s by anthropologist Dana Raphael but as yet is very under-researched although more light is now being shone on this process thanks to emerging research in the area. Matrescence essentially highlights the importance of recognising the rite of passage of motherhood, and the right of every woman to honour their birth story and pass through this liminal space of the 4th trimester with acceptance and a sense of being held and supported by a network around you. One of the greatest benefits of a postpartum doula is this gift of being held as the mother. A doula will listen to, honour and support you through processing your birth experience; validate your feelings and eliminate any sense of isolation, shame or guilt around your personal experience of birth and motherhood or indeed celebrate a joyful birth experience. She will allow you to fully appreciate your birth so that you can then move on without holding on to parts of it that may impact your mental health later in your motherhood journey. 

In areas of the world where traditional postpartum recovery practices are the norm the reported cases of postpartum depression are significantly low - Malaysia has a well established tradition of postnatal recovery, where the rate of postpartum depression is only 3.9%. The recent MAMMI study carried out in Ireland looked at maternal mental health in the first year postpartum and found that within this large Irish cohort that one in ten women reported moderate/severe anxiety symptoms (9.5%), more than one in ten reported moderate/severe depression symptoms (14.2%) and one in five reported moderate/severe stress (19.2%). This is in line with a rate of postnatal depression of between 10-15% internationally. This would suggest that the current model of 6 week postpartum care is insufficient to detect and provide adequate support for women’s mental health needs, with long-term implications for women and children.

Mothering the mother - the role of the postnatal doula

Much of the current research on the benefits a doula can provide has been conducted in the US and is primarily focused on the benefits of birth doulas on the type of labour a woman has. However there is also some research emerging on the benefits of postnatal doulas, particularly among those mothers with a low socioeconomic status, and the effects that a doula can have during the postpartum period.

It has been found that the presence of a postnatal doula with a first-time mother greatly enhanced the mothers self-confidence and that postnatal doula care can benefit mothers regardless of their socioeconomic status, particularly if they are supported well during the first month postpartum and have built a good relationship between the mother and her doula from late in pregnancy. Some of the main areas or domains of care that have been observed to benefit from postnatal doula care include:

Emotional support

Physical comfort

Self-care

Infant care

Information

Advocacy

Referral

Partner/Father support

Support mother/father with infant

Support mother/father with sibling care

Household organisation

I believe that one of the most important roles I have as a postnatal doula is within the domain of emotional support. Talking about matrescence and all of the parts of motherhood- including the parts that may carry shame for us - is the only way to help mothers feel less stigmatised and more normal in all aspects of becoming a mother. Of course experiencing matrescence without a support network, and without understanding the complexity of what is happening in your brain as a new mother only adds to feelings of not being enough, not being a “good” mother and a sense of failure that can lead to a diagnosis of postnatal depression. But the question is how much of maternal mental illness is biological and how much is an understandable response to the design of modern parenthood? One way to claim back the rite-of-passage of motherhood is to surrender to it, embrace every part of it and honour the transition that you have gone through as a mother and as parents. Planning for this postpartum period and putting the framework in place that allows you to be nurtured as the mother is fundamental to the process of matrescence. It is time to honour this monumental transition and enter into motherhood empowered, nurtured and with the confidence that the changes that are happening are normal and expected. Mothers should also be supported in such a way that if they do experience mental health issues that require medical support, that they are referred as quickly and efficiently as possible to the right health care professional - postnatal doulas are well placed in supporting families during the 4th trimester and beyond, to link mothers in with appropriate support when needed. 

[yamini0503]

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[coochiequeens]

'A woman who falls through the cracks is falling with her children'   

Away from threat of Islamist violence or floods, health risks for pregnant women in Nigeria's refugee camps remain high 

By Adie Vanessa Offiong, CNN Photographs by Taibat Ajiboye for CNN

Editor’s note: This story is part of As Equals, CNN's ongoing series on gender inequality. For information about how the series is funded and more, check out our FAQs.

Abuja, Nigeria (CNN)Aisha Aliyu is eight-months pregnant and sprawled out on a mat in front of her house with four of her children spread around her feet. Two-year-old Hauwa and five-year-old Abba are both crying and tugging at their mother's coffee-colored hijab. She, in response, rolls her eyes and clicks her tongue at them. She looks tired. 

The child Aliyu is carrying is her tenth. The last four were delivered in the Durumi Camp, a place in Nigeria's capital city, Abuja, that she and an estimated more than 3,000 other internally displaced people call home. 

In 2013, Aliyu fled her home in the village of Wala in Nigeria's northeastern Borno State to its capital, Maiduguri. She said her village was attacked and much of it burned down by armed Islamist group, Boko Haram. Two years later, the militant group attacked Maiduguri, forcing Aliyu to again migrate, this time travelling over 856km south to Abuja with her husband and five children.

The now 39-year-old saw having many children as a way of replacing her relatives killed by the insurgents, but reveals she was done after her last pregnancy in 2021 and began using contraceptives. However, she became pregnant again this year. 

Having already borne children in Durumi camp (one of 264 communities for internally dispaced people (IDPs) known to exist across Nigeria as of September 2021), Aliyu was fearful, knowing of the limited resources she would have access to. The farmer's wife had been unable to afford the food and medication she needed to stay healthy, and antenatal services were limited.   

Aisha with five of her children

The space initially set up as a birthing suite at the camp was rudimentary and barely hygienic, explains Liyatu Ayuba, appointed the camp 's Women's Leader by the site's Chairman when she arrived in 2014. She has since handled issues regarding health, food or children on behalf the IDPs.  

"It was a tent that we swept, and I would put a mat or wrapper on the floor for the women to lie down on to give birth," says Ayuba, who for much of the camp's history has been its only birth attendant. Many of the displaced women refer to her as Mama. 

 Ayuba says the tent was a shanty built with corrugated roofing sheets and a sandy floor. If gloves were available, the birth attendant used them and if not, she explains that she covered her hands with polythene bags and cut umbilical cords with a razor blade. 

"I gave birth to three of [my children] with Mama's help on a mat under the shelter," Aliyu tells CNN, referring to the birthing tent. "Mama cut the umbilical cord and bathed the baby."  

In 2019, a non-governmental organization set up the camp's health post where Aliyu's ninth child, Hauwa, was delivered in 2021. The post is a small clinic located inside a repurposed 20ft shipping container, where wooden boards partition the space to create a delivery suite which looks more like a storage space and just about holds a bed, a baby cot, a drip stand, a broken chair, a trolley and empty containers that should contain water. The other half is the consultation room with a table, two chairs, a bed, and a cupboard where medicines and devices are kept.    

Though basic, the clinic at least provides a consultation space that women previously had to make do without and Ayuba is proud to say the camp has not recorded any deaths among mothers or babies under her watch. 

The makeshift delivery room partitioned in the shipping container used as the camp's health post

'No 'special arrangement' for those who are pregnant in Nigeria's camps

Aliyu is one of many internally displaced women bearing children in Nigeria's camps, with some grounds not even housing a health post or shelter for birth, instead needing women to go into labour in their own shelters or that of their birth attendant. 

A 2021 PhD thesis by Fatima Mahmood Jibirilla at Walden University, states that women living in IDP camps in Nigeria "have a higher risk of maternal death than women living in their homes." The author cited a range of factors increasing the risk of maternal and neonatal deaths in these settings, including inadequate prenatal care services and limited family planning programs.  

"There are no special arrangements for pregnant women in IDP and refugee camps [in Nigeria]. There are poor antenatal services that are inadequate to detect and address likely pregnancy-related complications and other signs of poor pregnancy outcomes," the author writes. While there have been no maternal or infant deaths at Durumi on her watch, according to Ayuba, multiple doctors volunteering there and across camps in Abuja corroborated the concerns highlighted in the study to CNN.  

In a country that has long had among the highest maternal mortality rates in the world and has the third highest number of internally displaced people (IDPs) in Africa as of the end of 2022, according to the Internal Displacement Monitoring Centre (IDMC), the lack of adequate maternal healthcare provision in these camps is a significant concern, one of the doctors told CNN.

The 2022 IDMC figures also show that 4.5m Nigerians were classed as "internally displaced people" as a result of both conflict and natural disasters, with flooding outstripping protracted violence as the main source of displacement. 

The camp nurse, Isa Umar examines a pregnant woman during antenatal session

While there is no national breakdown of IDPs by sex or age, a 2023 report by the Camp Coordination and Camp Management (CCCM) Sector says there are 1,575,741 women and children in the Nigerian states of Borno, Adamawa, and Yobe alone, making up 74% of the 2,124,053 IDPs in those states. 

Nigeria's total IDP population relies largely on the graces of charitable organizations for its health care, Ayuba and the camp's nurse Isa Umar told CNN. 

'If it happens, I am dead.' The prohibitive costs of care   

Wednesdays are antenatal day in Durumi. When CNN visits, camp nurse Isa Umar, who himself was forced to leave his home due to the insurgency, is in the consultation room using a handheld ultrasound scanner to monitor a baby's growth and a fetoscope to monitor the heartbeat among the expectant mothers coming in. 

Umar measures each pregnant woman's stomach followed by her weight. After they've been seen, women compare notes while sitting on the clinic's veranda, discussing how any of the medicines Umar has prescribed will be paid for.   

The set up is far from adequate. Umar tells CNN: "We don't even have folic acid or anti-malarial medicine to give them. I have to write these for them to go and buy." Malaria is endemic in Nigeria and infections pose various risks during pregnancy, such as premature labour and miscarriage, and folic acid is recommended for those who are pregnant or planning to become pregnant, to reduce the risk of certain birth defects. 

But for most of the 64 women recorded in the camp's birth register this year, these costs are prohibitive. Folic acid, for example, costs ₦3,000 ($3.74) for 100 tablets and Aliyu tells CNN she could not possibly have afforded that cost for the duration of her pregnancy. She says she's only been able to take this vital supplement when NGOs have donated them free of charge. Back home in Wala, her N100 ($0.11) hospital card had entitled her to free folic acid as well as other resources while pregnant. 

Getting clean water at the camp is also a challenge, Aliyu shares, explaining that it's a time-consuming, strenuous task requiring her to make several trips daily and is one she can no longer do in the final weeks of her pregnancy. Instead, she now pays for it to be delivered. At its cheapest, enough water to make the family's breakfast of pap (porridge made from ground corn) and other domestic chores for a month costs ₦24,000 ($28.43). Costs can rise by 25% on days when there is no electricity and a generator is needed to work the pumps, or when water sellers must go farther to fetch it.  

With Aisha almost full term, she is no longer able to go to fetch water and now has to pay up to N500 daily for it to be delivered to her home

There are also the costs of giving birth in Abuja that Aliyu didn't have back home.   

To immunize her babies at the camp, the mother of nine has to take them to the nearest government hospital where nurses have certain expectations that fall to the mother, she tells CNN. These include making sure the baby is wearing diapers and bringing various items including cotton wool and baby lotion, which would cost money Aliyu says she doesn't have.  

"In Borno, it was not compulsory to use [diapers] when going to the hospital. We just used our wrappers (a piece of fabric women tied around their waist). But here, the nurses insist that (the babies) must wear diapers and (we must) have an extra one in our bag," Aliyu says. Multiple mothers shared similar concerns with CNN. 

Dr Charles Nzelu, Head of Special Duties at Nigeria's Federal Ministry of Health tells CNN he believes health workers are simply acting in the overall interests of the baby and that a lack of medical skill, experience, and communication is resulting in a lack of understanding about the women living in the IDP camps. "When you come to me as a doctor, I will give you medical advice the way it's supposed to be," he explains. "When you are more experienced, you are flexible (with) the way you relate with patients." He adds that this government, which came into power in May, will work to address issues like these.

"I can't afford treatment. If it happens, I'm dead"Pregnant resident of Durumi Camp in Abuja, Aisha Aliyu

In the meantime, Aliyu says she is struggling to meet all her needs and those of her children. To afford what she can, Aliyu makes and sells wigs and traditional caps worn by men, earning on average ₦10,000 ($12.49) a month.

Money is not her only concern. Aliyu worries about catching malaria and about not being able to produce enough breastmilk because of the poor quality of her diet. Her family survives on staples such as pasta and maize in different forms. 

"I can't afford the treatment" for malaria, says Aliyu. "If it happens, I am dead."

Difficulty fulfilling promises

The National Commission for Refugees, Migrants and Internally Displaced Persons (NCFRMI) is responsible for Nigeria's growing number of displaced people. Its commissioner tells CNN that the organization, which was set up in 1989 and has a health budget of N250 million for 2024, has paid for midwives to visit IDP camps to assist in deliveries of babies as frequently as funds allow and has, in some instances, also paid off people's hospital bills. CNN was unable to verify this budget figure provided by the Commission which it said is not yet public.

However, some of the IDPs who have been in Durumi since the informal settlement formed in 2014, say that no midwives sent by the Commission have visited the camp during their time here and that in the past, it has been difficult to get it to fulfil promises they say the Commission made to the camp, such as furnishing the health post with an additional bed, scanning machine, gloves and other health equipment. 

CNN asked the NCFRMI about the services it provides to those in Durumi but did not receive a response prior to publication.

The nurse takes the weight of the pregnant women during antenatal

Within the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), where Abuja is located, the Territory's Health and Environmental Services is responsible for all health matters including services provided to people in IDP camps, including reproductive care and sexual health services, such as birth control. Dr. Dolapo Fasawe, Mandate Secretary of the FCT Health and Environmental Services, tells CNN that IDP camps in the area have functional clinics supported by area council staff and partners from outside, explaining that they cannot build permanent structures because the camps are meant to be temporary. She adds her belief that "the issue with maternal care in such places is child spacing, not maternal mortality." Birth spacing helps to improve maternal health outcomes as becoming pregnant too soon after giving birth increases the risk of complications. Doctors CNN spoke to also highlighted this as a concern in the camps, and Nigeria more widely.

But many residents of the camp told CNN they had not heard of the FCT Health Services or seen them at the camp and explain that the provision of birth control is again handled by non-profits working in the camps. When Fasawe was informed of this by CNN, she said it was a wakeup call for her department to act promptly. This "has opened our eyes to the need to focus on them," Fasawe says. "We need to (conduct some) outreach asap."

Nigeria's Federal Ministry of Health oversees health for the country (including provisions provided by the Commission). In response to the concerns, the Ministry of Health's Nzelu tells CNN that maternal and child health is a very high priority for government but explains that the Ministry primarily provides policies and guidelines for states, local governments and government agencies to follow and does not typically intervene directly. He said: "As a government, we are still working to make sure that both the state and all these agencies of government that are charged with the direct implementation, do their best to make sure that those inhabitants of IDP camps are well taken care of."

A volunteer doctor brought his own kit to do blood tests at the Durumi camp

'A woman who falls through the cracks is falling with her children'   

African NGO, Pro Health International, has been sending volunteer medical professionals to provide free healthcare services for IDPs across Nigeria for over 12 years. They were last in Durumi in June and describe it as one of the most impoverished IDP camps within the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), where Abuja is located. 

Pro Health International Founder and Executive Director Dr. Iko Ibanga shared that his team raised the issue of health challenges within IDP camps two years ago with the Minister of Health at the time, Dr. Osagie Ehanire. "We were told it would be looked into, but nothing was done," he says.

Ehanire did not directly respond to CNN about whether Pro Health International raised the issue of health challenges among internally displaced people with him, but the former health minister highlighted the NGO's work as a useful implementer of maternal health services in more recent years, and shared emergency response plans for IDPs that were put in place in the north-east of the country (where Boko Haram is most active) and go back to 2016. He tells CNN: "Women's Health services were prioritized and featured strongly in the programs designed to the needs of internally displaced women." This region does not include Abuja, however, where the Durumi camp is located.

Women at the Durumi IDP camp, sitting on the veranda of the makeshift health post

The 2023 health budget is ₦1.17 trillion ($2.2bn), which is a 42.6% increase since 2022 and the highest percent of the total budget allocated for health. But In Africa's largest economy, this is only 5.7% of the annual budget of ₦20.5 trillion, and is much lower than the 15% of annual budgets all African Union member nations, including Nigeria, pledged in 2001 to spend on "improvement of the health sector".    

According to the National Primary Health Care Development Agency, a health post, which is the most basic health care facility, should be able to cater to a population of 500 and have 34 items always available to serve that population. Durumi's health post serves more than 3000 people and has just 10 of these items: a waste bin, scissors, fetoscope, weighing scale, chair, tables, two beds, kidney dishes, and a cupboard, all provided by NGOs according to Ayuba and Umar who say they both manage the facility without a salary.

Nzelu shares that the Ministry of Health is currently conducting a health needs assessment in most of the IDP camps to learn what is and is not lacking to ensure adequate health care services. He tells CNN: "With the budget cycle currently on, it can inform some of the things we are able to get into the budget and hope that the National Assembly gives approval so that we can implement."

Pro-Health International's Ibanga is emphatic about the risks displaced people face during the perinatal period and beyond. "When [a woman] is ill, it affects everything tied to her and her children are the most important things tied to her," he says. "A woman who falls through the cracks is not falling by herself. She is falling with her children." 

This story was edited by Eliza Anyangwe and Meera Senthilingam

[wellnessmindhub]

Is Anxiety in Pregnancy Normal?

Pregnancy, undoubtedly, is a time filled with anticipation and joy. However, it is also common for expectant mothers to experience a range of emotions, including anxiety. Brainpower Wellness Institute recognizes the significance of mental well-being during this crucial phase of life. In this article, we delve into the nuances of anxiety in pregnancy, its prevalence, effects on both mother and baby, and effective strategies for management.

Introduction

The journey of pregnancy is marked by profound physical and emotional changes. Anxiety, defined as a feeling of unease or worry, can be a natural part of this transformative period. Understanding and addressing anxiety during pregnancy is paramount for the overall well-being of both the mother and the developing baby.

Understanding Anxiety in Pregnancy

Causes and Triggers

Various factors contribute to anxiety during pregnancy, ranging from hormonal fluctuations to external stressors. Identifying these triggers is crucial to implementing effective coping strategies.

Hormonal Changes and Their Impact

The intricate dance of hormones during pregnancy can significantly influence a woman's emotional state. Fluctuations in estrogen and progesterone, among other hormones, play a role in mood swings and heightened emotions.

Prevalence of Anxiety in Pregnancy

Statistics and Research Findings

Examining the prevalence of anxiety during pregnancy provides insight into the scope of the issue. According to recent studies, approximately 10-15% of pregnant individuals experience anxiety at some point during their pregnancy.

Common Risk Factors

Certain factors elevate the risk of experiencing anxiety during pregnancy. These may include a history of anxiety disorders, previous pregnancy complications, or significant life stressors.

Effects of Anxiety on the Mother

Physical Health Implications

Anxiety doesn't only affect mental well-being; it can also manifest physically. Common physical symptoms include headaches, muscle tension, and disturbances in sleep patterns.

Emotional and Psychological Effects

The emotional toll of anxiety during pregnancy extends beyond the immediate moment. Persistent anxiety can lead to feelings of sadness, fear, and, in severe cases, may contribute to antenatal depression.

Impact on the Developing Baby

Maternal Stress and Fetal Development

Maternal stress can influence the development of the unborn baby. High levels of stress hormones, such as cortisol, may impact fetal brain development and have implications for long-term cognitive function.

Long-Term Consequences

Exploring the potential long-term consequences of maternal anxiety provides a compelling case for proactive intervention. Research suggests that children born to mothers who experienced high levels of anxiety during pregnancy may be at an increased risk of behavioral and emotional challenges.

Identifying Signs and Symptoms

Physical Manifestations

Anxiety often manifests physically. Recognizing these symptoms is the first step toward seeking appropriate support. Physical manifestations may include rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, and gastrointestinal discomfort.

Behavioral Indicators

Changes in behavior can be subtle indicators of underlying anxiety. Being attuned to these changes is essential for early intervention. Behavioral indicators may include increased irritability, changes in eating habits, or social withdrawal.

When to Seek Professional Help

Differentiating Normal Stress from Anxiety Disorders

Distinguishing between typical stress and an anxiety disorder is crucial. While stress is a normal part of life, persistent and overwhelming anxiety may require professional intervention.

Importance of Early Intervention

Early intervention significantly impacts the trajectory of anxiety during pregnancy. Seeking help early can prevent the escalation of symptoms and promote a healthier pregnancy experience.

Managing Anxiety Naturally

Lifestyle Modifications

Simple lifestyle changes can contribute significantly to managing anxiety. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient sleep are foundational elements that support overall mental well-being.

Relaxation Techniques

Incorporating relaxation techniques into daily life provides a valuable toolkit for combatting anxiety. From mindfulness meditation to progressive muscle relaxation, these techniques are accessible and effective.

Professional Treatment Options

Therapy and Counseling

Professional support, including therapy and counseling, plays a crucial role in managing anxiety. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a proven approach that helps individuals identify and change negative thought patterns contributing to anxiety.

Medication Considerations

In some cases, medication may be a necessary component of anxiety management. It's essential for pregnant individuals to consult with their healthcare providers to weigh the risks and benefits of medications during pregnancy.

Support Systems for Pregnant Women

Role of Family and Friends

A strong support system is invaluable during pregnancy. Family and friends can provide emotional support, assist with practical tasks, and create a nurturing environment.

Community Resources

Beyond personal networks, various community resources exist to support pregnant individuals. These may include prenatal support groups, educational workshops, and mental health hotlines.

Case Studies

Real-Life Examples of Pregnant Individuals Managing Anxiety

Real stories of individuals navigating anxiety during pregnancy provide relatable insights. Sarah, a first-time mother, shares her experience of overcoming anxiety through a combination of therapy and lifestyle changes.

Positive Outcomes and Lessons Learned

Highlighting positive outcomes and lessons learned from case studies reinforces the message that effective anxiety management is achievable. Emma, a mother of two, shares how seeking professional help early in her second pregnancy made a significant difference in her overall well-being.

The Role of Brainpower Wellness Institute

Introduction to the Institute

Brainpower Wellness Institute is dedicated to supporting mental health during pregnancy. Established by experts in the field, the institute offers a range of services tailored to the unique needs of expectant mothers.

Services and Support for Pregnant Individuals

Services provided by the institute include individual counseling, support groups, and educational resources. The institute emphasizes a holistic approach to mental well-being, recognizing the interconnectedness of physical and mental health.

Testimonials

Personal Stories of Individuals Supported by Brainpower Wellness Institute

Real testimonials from individuals who have benefited from the institute's support add a human touch to the narrative. Jennifer, a client of the institute, expresses gratitude for the personalized care and understanding she received during a challenging period of her pregnancy.

FAQs about Anxiety in Pregnancy

Is anxiety common during pregnancy?

Yes, anxiety is a common experience during pregnancy, affecting a significant percentage of expectant mothers.

How can I differentiate between normal stress and anxiety that requires professional help?

Persistent and overwhelming anxiety, accompanied by physical symptoms and interference with daily life, may indicate the need for professional intervention.

Are there any natural remedies for managing anxiety during pregnancy?

Yes, lifestyle modifications such as regular exercise, healthy nutrition, and relaxation techniques can be effective natural remedies for managing anxiety.

What role does hormonal fluctuation play in pregnancy-related anxiety?

Hormonal changes, including fluctuations in estrogen and progesterone, can contribute to mood swings and heightened emotions during pregnancy.

How can family and friends support a pregnant individual experiencing anxiety?

Family and friends can provide emotional support, assist with practical tasks, and encourage the pregnant individual to seek professional help if needed.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while anxiety during pregnancy is not uncommon, proactive management is essential for the well-being of both the mother and the baby. Seeking support, whether through lifestyle modifications, professional intervention, or community resources, can make a significant difference. Brainpower Wellness Institute stands as a beacon of support, acknowledging the challenges of anxiety during pregnancy and offering a helping hand to ensure a healthier, more positive journey into motherhood. Remember, you're not alone, and prioritizing your mental health is a vital step towards a fulfilling pregnancy experience.

[ukrfeminism]

2 minute read

One in four women are being left alone and anxious during childbirth amid a worsening crisis in NHS maternity care, a damning report has revealed.

A quarter of mothers giving birth last year said they were unable to get help from midwives and doctors at times when they were worried during labour.

The Care Quality Commission, which conducted the survey, said this represents a “concerning decline” since 2019, when 19 per cent said they couldn’t get help when they needed.

Less than half said their husband or partner was allowed to stay with them throughout their stay in hospital, amid ongoing “lockdown-era” visiting restrictions in hospitals.

The number of women who say they were treated with “kindness and understanding” by hospital staff has also fallen over the past three years, from 76 per cent to 71 per cent.

Increasing numbers of women also say their concerns are being ignored, and they are not treated with dignity and respect.

In total 20,900 women who gave birth across England in February 2022 were questioned as part of an annual survey.

Only 41 per cent of the women said their husband, partner or family member could stay with them the whole time they were in hospital during and after childbirth. This has improved slightly from 34 per cent in 2021, when draconian pandemic hospital visiting restrictions remained in place, but is down from 74 per cent in 2019.

The CQC, which regulates hospitals, looked at 26 aspects of maternity care and found “a significant downward trend” in 21 areas over the past five years.

The report has been published following a series of high-profile NHS maternity scandals. In October an investigation found 97 babies and mothers died as a result of “deplorable” treatment by staff at East Kent Hospitals, with the lead author Dr Bill Kirkup calling for an overhaul of NHS maternity care to “break the cycle of endlessly repeating supposedly one-off catastrophic failures”.

But health leaders warned that a shortage of 2,000 midwives means care is getting worse rather than better, putting the lives of mothers and babies at risk.

Angela McConville, CEO of the NCT, the parent support charity, said: “Maternity services in England are categorically falling short of women’s expectations. A woman who gives birth today may have a worse experience of NHS maternity services than if she gave birth five years ago. Time usually leads to progress, but we’re seeing the opposite.

“Today, women are less likely to report getting the help they need during labour, birth and antenatally, to get information to make informed decisions about their care and to feel that any concerns about their care are taken seriously.

“This is not all the impact of the Covid pandemic but is directly associated with long-term under-investment in the staffing of maternity services.

“Lockdown-era postnatal policies must end now. It is unacceptable that less than half of women say that their partner or someone close to them was able to stay with them as much as they’d like after giving birth. Trusts must immediately enable partners’ presence at in-hospital postnatal care so that mothers are never left without food and water, emotional support, access to a bathroom and help to lift and feed their baby.”

Postnatal care after women get home was also found to be worsening, with many new mothers left feeling isolated and unsure how to breastfeed and care for their baby. Less than half said they were always able to access advice in the six to eight-week period after having their baby.

Despite repeated pledges to improve “continuity of care” just one in ten women saw the same midwife throughout pregnancy and in the early days of motherhood, the research found.

One in five women said they were not offered any choices about where to have their baby.

Victoria Vallance, from the CQC, said the results show a “concerning decline over time” with women unable to get help “when it was most needed”.

She said: “This reflects the increasing pressures on frontline staff as they continue in their efforts to provide high quality maternity care with the resources available.

“CQC is committed to doing all we can to help accelerate those improvement efforts. We recently began a new programme of maternity inspections which has a strong focus on capturing the experience of women and families.”

Matthew Jolly, national clinical director for maternity and women’s health for the NHS in England, said: “The CQC survey results show the ongoing impact of the pandemic on maternity services, and while the majority of women were positive about their interactions with staff and the information provided, other findings show the implications of sustained workforce challenges and reinforce the need for further improvements to maternity services.

“We continue to take action to strengthen maternity services across the country — we’re investing £165 million annually to grow our workforce, strengthen leadership and improve culture, while continuing to work closely with NHS trusts and our partners to make necessary improvements and ensure that we provide the best possible services for mothers, babies and their families.”

[imjuanita]

Six Wellness Methods For Pregnant Women

Pregnancy is actually a transformative as well as fantastic time for pregnant mamas, but it additionally possesses the accountability of dealing with both themselves as well as their building little ones. Correct health and health while pregnant are actually essential for a hassle-free and also safe adventure towards becoming a mother. In this short article, our experts will discover six important health recommendations that expectant females should observe to guarantee a healthy and delighted maternity.

Balanced and also Nourishing Diet

Keeping a nutritious and balanced diet regimen is important during pregnancy. The building little one relies upon the mama's consumption for nutrients, minerals, as well as vitamins necessary for growth and progression. Concentrate on consuming a variety of fruits, vegetables, healthy proteins, whole grains, and dairy products. Avoid coming from refined as well as unhealthy foods that offer little bit of to no dietary value. You will get additional information on pregnancy by visiting how soon after unprotected can i test for pregnancy site.

Hydration is Secret

Remaining moisturized is actually usually forgotten however is important while pregnant. Pregnant girls need additional water to assist the boosted blood stream volume, amniotic fluid, as well as total bodily functions. Dehydration may result in complications, thus make it a routine to consume alcohol loads of water throughout the day.

Regular Workout

Keeping a normal physical exercise regimen while pregnant can deliver several advantages. It assists to enhance flow, manage body weight gain, as well as improves state of mind and power amounts. It is actually necessary to speak to along with a health care expert before beginning any exercise course and also decide for low-impact activities suited for pregnancy.

Antenatal Vitamins

Prenatal vitamins are actually especially created to fulfill the dietary necessities of expectant women. They normally contain folic acid, iron, calcium, and also other crucial nutrients. These supplements complete any kind of nutritional gaps and also support the healthy progression of the child.

Correct Sleep as well as Rest

Sleep is critical for pregnant women as their body systems are striving to support the expanding baby. Getting good enough rest helps in decreasing tiredness, keeping hormonal agent balance, and also promoting general welfare. It is highly recommended to reconsider the left edge as it improves blood flow to the placenta.

Manage Stress and anxiety

Maternity may be a stressful time, but extreme stress is not appropriate for the health of the little one or even the mama. Locate methods to handle worry, including performing mindfulness approaches, deep breathing physical exercises, or antenatal yoga exercise. Border on your own with a support system that can easily assist minimize tension as well as anxiety.

Avoid Harmful Substances

It is necessary for pregnant females to avoid unsafe drugs that can negatively impact the baby's growth. This features alcohol, tobacco, and also illegal drugs. Even certain medicines should simply be actually taken under the guidance of a healthcare provider to guarantee they are safe during pregnancy.

Regular Antenatal Examinations

Normal prenatal inspections along with medical care professionals are actually necessary to keep track of the progression of the maternity as well as address any potential problems. These exams permit early detection of any type of problems and make certain timely interventions if needed.

Oral Wellness

Pregnant girls frequently experience modifications in their dental health and wellness as a result of hormonal switches. Good dental cleanliness process, such as frequent brushing, flossing, and dental inspections, are actually crucial while pregnant. Poor oral wellness has actually been actually connected to preterm birth and poor childbirth weight.

Get ready for the Birth

As the due day methods, it is actually essential to get ready for the birth method. Go to giving birth learning training class, generate a birth planning, and also review your choices with your doctor. Being informed as well as prepped can easily help in reducing anxiousness regarding the labor.

Outcome

Maternity is a considerable and also lovely trip for females, and also dealing with their wellness is actually of utmost relevance during the course of this moment. By complying with these six health and wellness tips, expecting mothers may ensure a well-balanced and enjoyable pregnancy for themselves and their little ones.

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Lactation 101: Everything You Need to Know About Breastfeeding

Welcome to Lactation 101, your comprehensive guide to the world of breastfeeding. Whether you're an expectant mother, a new mom, or simply curious about the topic, this article provides you with all the essential information you need to embark on a successful breastfeeding journey. From understanding the benefits of breastfeeding to practical tips for establishing a healthy breastfeeding routine, we've got you covered. So, let's dive into the wonderful world of lactation and unlock the knowledge you need to nourish and nurture your baby.

The Beauty and Benefits of Breastfeeding:

Breastfeeding is not only a beautiful bonding experience but also offers an array of benefits for both mother and baby. Breast milk provides optimal nutrition, boosting your baby’s immune system and reducing the risk of illnesses. Additionally, it enhances the emotional bond between you and your child. Understanding these benefits will motivate and inspire you on your breastfeeding journey.

Preparing for Success: Antenatal Education and Support:

Preparing for breastfeeding during pregnancy along with pregnancy yogais essential for a smooth transition into motherhood. Attend breastfeeding classes and seek guidance from healthcare professionals to gain valuable knowledge and support. Connecting with lactation consultants or support groups can provide you with the assistance you need when challenges arise.

Latching and Positioning: The Key to Comfortable Feeding:

Proper latching and positioning are crucial for successful breastfeeding. Ensure your baby latches deeply onto the breast and find comfortable breastfeeding positions for both of you. Understanding the mechanics of latching and positioning will help ensure effective milk transfer, minimize discomfort, and promote a positive breastfeeding experience.

The Rhythm of Milk Production: Supply and Demand:

Breast milk production operates on a supply and demand basis. Your baby’s feeding cues stimulate milk production, so it’s important to respond to those cues and empty your breasts regularly. If concerns about milk supply arise, there are practical tips available to help maintain healthy milk production and meet your baby’s needs.

Common Challenges and Troubleshooting:

Breastfeeding may come with its fair share of challenges, but rest assured, most issues can be overcome with the right support. Sore nipples, engorgement, and mastitis are common challenges. Seek assistance from lactation consultants or healthcare professionals for troubleshooting and guidance. Remember, you’re not alone, and help is available to ensure a positive breastfeeding experience.

Nurturing Yourself: Self-Care for the Breastfeeding Mother:

As a breastfeeding mother, it’s crucial to prioritize self-care to maintain your physical and emotional well-being. Ensure you’re getting adequate nutrition, hydration, and rest. Seek emotional support from your partner, family, or support groups. By taking care of yourself, you’ll be better equipped to become your child nutritionist.

Pumping and Storing Breast Milk:

If you plan to pump breast milk or have occasional separations from your baby, understanding the basics of pumping and proper milk storage is essential. Research different types of pumps, learn pumping techniques, and follow safe storage guidelines to maintain the quality and safety of expressed breast milk.

Breastfeeding is a remarkable journey filled with love, nourishment, and countless benefits for both mother and baby. Equipping yourself with the knowledge shared in this Lactation 101 guide sets you on the path to a successful breastfeeding experience. Remember, every breastfeeding journey is unique, and it’s okay to seek support and guidance along the way. Trust your instincts, be patient with yourself and your baby, and embrace the joy and fulfillment that breastfeeding brings.

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Antenatal care refers to the medical care and support provided to a woman during pregnancy. It is essential to ensure a healthy pregnancy and a safe delivery. Many expectant mothers might not understand the significance of antenatal care and neglect it, but it is crucial for both the mother and the baby.

Regular check-ups during pregnancy can help detect any potential health problems in the mother and the baby. This allows the doctor to take necessary measures to address the issues and minimize any risks. For example, if a woman has high blood pressure or gestational diabetes, her doctor can monitor her closely and provide treatment to prevent complications.

Antenatal care also helps in detecting any abnormalities in the baby's development. Regular ultrasound scans can help detect any structural defects in the baby's organs, limbs, and spine. This information can assist the doctor in providing the best possible care and treatment to the mother and baby.

In addition, antenatal care provides a platform for the expectant mother to ask questions and seek advice on various aspects of pregnancy. For example, the doctor can advise the mother on what to eat, what to avoid, and how to exercise during pregnancy. This information can help the mother maintain a healthy pregnancy and avoid any complications.

Moreover, antenatal care helps in preparing the mother for childbirth. The doctor can educate the mother on the different stages of labor and delivery, what to expect during delivery, and how to manage pain during labor. This information can help the mother feel more confident and prepared for the delivery.

In conclusion, antenatal care is essential for a healthy pregnancy and a safe delivery. Regular check-ups and scans can help detect any potential health problems, provide a platform for the expectant mother to seek advice, and prepare the mother for childbirth. Expectant mothers should make it a priority to attend all their antenatal appointments and take advantage of the medical support and consult Gynecologist Hospital.

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What Exactly Is Antenatal Education?

Antenatal education, which includes childbirth education programmes, parental education, prenatal and antenatal courses, and a variety of other prenatal and antenatal groups, is aimed at lowering pregnancy difficulties and enhancing the health and well-being of mother and child. Increasing evidence has highlighted the psychological and biologically driven processes that both men and women face during the transition to parenthood, as well as the importance of pregnancy and the immediate postnatal period in the health of the baby and the reduction of social and health inequalities.

Want to learn more, visit Dr. Kausha Shah the best Gynecologist in Dahisar.