#anti zig/esme

[hydesjackiespuddinpop]

Me hating on Zesme and shipping Fresme 😭😭😭

I am SUCH a hypocrite istg

[angelhummel]

so when rick has violent outbursts and pushes terri and puts her in the hospital, he’s a violent criminal that shouldn’t be allowed back at the school

but when esme has violent outbursts and pushes zig and puts him in the hospital, people will bend over backwards to defend her bc it’s just the mental illness innit luv 

like it doesn’t matter if something traumatic happened to either of them or if they’re struggling with mental illness or not like it doesn’t make terri or zig any less hospitalized 

[zayadriancas]

I hate when people talk shit about Zaya but stay quiet about Z*sme like that shit is toxic and emotionally abusive as fuck

At least most people I’ve talked to have called Esme out but like still at least Zaya care about each other and he doesn’t hold her suicide attempt over her head like Esme is using it against Zig that he wants to be there for Maya after this happened??? I know Esme was the one to find Maya but Zig was also. I know it triggered Esme about her mom and that’s awful and no one deserves that but it doesn’t excuse how Esme is acting.

[rasharivas]

The Impact of Untreated Mental Illness 

brilliant, friendly, loving, supportive vs. manic, desperate, lost

requested by: @judcute

[maya-matlin]

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Zig’s outburst towards Esme about how not everything is about sex happened after he’d had a really deep conversation with Maya. Even though Maya was high and it wasn’t a happy conversation, it was still something that mattered and I think the Zig/Esme relationship lacked that. They had their moments mainly in season 3, but for the most part you’d see Esme manipulating him when they were on the verge of having a meaningful conversation (401, 406) or distracting him with sex. 

[warondegrassi]

↳ Data Loading....

Age: &&.seventeen Grade: &&. eleven Label: &&. the lost soul  Horoscope:  &&. sagittarius  Class: &&. elite Faceclaim:  &&.dylan everett  Availability: &&. closed

↳ LETS DIG INTO HIS PAST...

☛{tw;abuse} There was only one person that Cam has always felt like he could count on and that is his brother Justin. His parents being the important figures in society that they are could get away with almost anything and no one would even blink an eye. His father was a borderline alcohol after a stressful day at the office, his father would come home to some bourbon and one bourbon would turn into five. As a small child Cam did not understand that when this happened it was best to stay out of his father’s way and Cam like a young boy would, would want the attention from his dad which would result in Cam getting beat. Cam grew up fearing his father, and the only way to spend less time at home was to take up hockey. Cam was never too fond of Hockey but it got him out of the house longer, which he needed. 

☛ { tw; suicide mention } When Cam was in grade ten, his hockey talents were known throughout school, and school but when Degrassi boarding school took interest in him, he knew he had to take it with Justin graduating, he knew he needed to find a way to get out as well. As time went on, and not having the pressure of his home life Cam realized how much he hated hockey. It drove him mad, every practice he realized how much he would rather be anywhere besides the rink. All of his teammates would tell him how jealous they were, and how much they wanted his talents, and Cam wished it was something he could give to them so he wouldn’t have to deal with this any longer. This past year the pressure began to get to him, and he even thought about killing himself because of how sad he was from the break-up with maya, to his hatred of hockey, Cam did not want anyone to think of him as weak especially his father so he has been buying prescription for a drug dealer at Degrassi.  

↳ I KNOW ALL YOUR SECRETS

✉ Cam has been so sad lately from his break-up, and the pressure of hockey, and the dislike he has for the sport that he has decided to start taking anti-depressants so that he wouldn’t feel as sad anymore but no one knows.  

✉  Everyone expects Cam to be this big star onces he graduates, but Cam knows that he does not want to pursue hockey, but he is afraid if he tells anyone this that he will be letting everyone down. 

↳ A PARTY ISN’T A PARTY UNTIL SOMEONE CRASHES

♥ Maya Matlin  &&. ex-girlfriend -- unresolved feelings ♡ &&. To say that Maya and Cam left things unresolved would be an understatement, in Cam’s eyes she left him out of nowhere, but Maya knew if they ever had a chance of working out she needed to figure out this Zig situation and not be with him until she was sure he was the one she wanted. ♥ Owen Milligan &&. Mike Dallas &&.teammates ♡  &&. Owen has always told Cam and the other ice hounds that we are not a team we are family, and even if the rest of the team has followed suit with that Cam is the only one who has never felt as though he belonged.  ♥ Miles Hollingsworth &&. Marisol Lewis &&. suitemates ♡ &&. Cam being the way he is doesn’t have much of a relationship with his suitemates, if he was honest they intimidate him. Marisol is one of the loudest girls in school, and Miles well he is trouble, and Cam can’t get involved with that.  ♥ Zig Novak && rival ♡ &&.   Most rivalries between two men in high school comes down to one girl, and this girl was Maya. Well that was how it started, it started with Maya but these two genuinely do not like one another.     ♥Esme Song && dealer ♡ &&.   Being a hockey star means that any sort of negative attention could send your career hurtling to its untimely death. While Cam mightn’t mind this, given he isn’t necessarily fond of hockey, his team and his parents and his coach have their claws in him in a way that has him terrified to disappoint. In his eyes, being medicated for depression would make him seem weak, pathetic, so he gets his dose of unprescribed antidepressents from Esme.

[purplerakath]

The Anomalous Writing for Esme Song

This might be my last tumblr essay post, I’ll be moving over to a wordpress once I set-up and doing my stuff there. I doubt I’ll be moving my archive of writing here over, but I will be doing new stuff and there’ll be a post to link over to where I am now. As-

I’ve never liked Tumblr anyway, and now it is dead. But onto Esme and some flawed writing for her.

Her Overall Direction

Esme Song is regularly accepted as having Borderline Personality Disorder, it feels like the direction, but I won’t be using that and more a look at individual motives and actions in her history and writing. She’s closed off, cold, paranoid, and generally crass and unapologetic about her actions.

She’ll do what she wants and loves the attention even negative, provided one (or two) people love her as she is. Those one or two people she will do whatever feels best to help them, even if this help is poisonous. And without those people she shatters and starts to self-destruct. Her last plot in NC4 being the final straw to get her the help she needs.

Esme’s existence is anchored on a few people, and beyond that she’ll let the world burn. However, there are two major missteps in her writing, and those need to be talked about.

Misstep #1

Between the first half and second half of Next Class 1 Esme went from ‘trying to help Miles in horrible ways because she thinks prescribing him drugs without being a doctor is okay’ to... ‘wanting him to desperately notice her and not leave her or ignore her.’ This overall means her desire is Miles in her life still.

...So why the fuck is part of the plot her allowing him to nearly die taking random drugs?

She was careful he knew all the pros and cons of what she gave him, even if she couched it as ‘it’ll help you handle ‘daddy’.’ Warning him how strong they were, talking him through panic attacks.There’s no bridge to how she got to enabling him on drugs so dangerous he’d die from them.

Her goal is keeping Miles, she can’t do that if he’s dead.

Misstep #2

This is easier to explain ‘why’ they went so out of her usual realm of actions. Degrassi wanted a ‘yellowface’ plot. My guess is it’s easier to get away with than blackface (and not torch the character), or redface (as they don’t even acknowledge Grace’s race at all). So we had a plot centered on Esme trying to torch Zoe in a targeted and vindictive way.

...without Esme actually having enough connection to Zoe to care.

So they never explain Esme’s hatred for Shay, but it’s pretty evident. Shay is a cold, stoic, no fun prude and Esme is... Esme. Any interactions between them (through their respective boys) means Esme would feel Shay’s disapproval and want to needle her over it. There’s not enough of a set-up for Zoe.

They never suggest Esme has latched onto Zoe (like Miles or Zig), she’s mostly approving of Zoe being gay as hell (she had zero issue with the kiss an ep prior). And while Zoe did steal her gig on the variety show... so what?

Esme doesn’t care about things like that. It isn’t a part of her character, so it just felt off. Now if she was trying to hurt Shay’s academic or athletic career, that’d be fine. That’s straight up Esme’s thing.

Overall Esme

Esme’s a very damaged person, who hurts others out of her own messed up belief of what ‘help’ is. Because Esme’s never known help. Nobody has been there for her until Frankie Hollingsworth. Think about that, Frankie is her first support. 33 episodes in.

This isn’t condoning her actions, but putting a context as to why she got Miles hooked on anti-anxiety pills. Why she attacks Shay. Why she’s paranoid about Zig’s friends. Why she sold Saad out to Zig (to make Zig stop blaming himself for Maya). Her trying to distract Zig when college didn’t work for him was her wanting his happiness over his future.

When she doesn’t have a plan, because she’s alone and scared, she freaks out. Like with Miles at the end of Season 1, and shoving Zig off a cliff when he rebuffs her in Season 4. Both unhealthy acts, but there is a lack of malice that most ascribe to those (which she definitely has for Zig’s friends + Shay).

[theoriginaldramaqueen]

The TPTB Are Testing Me....

First I Had To Suffer Watching Miles/Esme And Now I Have To Suffer Watching Zig/Esme. I mean really....

[emgay]

this my ranking of all the degrassi characters bc i kno yall care sm 

shitty ass characters/pure evil:

hazel (lazy and lacked depth, unnecessary)

ashley (written to be a nagging bitch, played that shit great tho)

paiges brother (less than mediocre acting imo, boring)

JENNA

johnny dimarco

owen (why)

jane (altho her trauma story could have been really good, it wasnt)

bruce the moose (why did he exist with a name)

mia (forgettable, boring, her kid had the worst kid acting ive seen, just unlikable)

derek 

dave (asshole with boring stories)

kc 

hunter (he was supposed to get likable after being institutionalized but he was a little shit)

clare (lmoa dont drag me)

marisol

LUKE (obviously)

vijay (i was so excited for him but...absolutely not)

baaz 

BEST:

simpson

eli obviously (altho i feel like they really could have done better with his character especially when it came to his bipolar storyline)

manny (cuckoo bananas)

miles

esme (i KNO she was evil but she was....real)

still really good:

tristan

emma

cam (wish they would have developed his mental health issues further before killing him off) 

grace

rasha

craig (altho i didnt really like him? just really good character imo) 

fiona

ali (she gets such a bad rap for always letting boys get in her way but like it worked?)

decent:

liberty

ellie (wish her cutting story was expanded more it was so brief “oh i cut oh now i dont but itll always be in me except we’re never gonna mention it again”)

started out shitty became okay/good/amazing:

spinner

holly j 

ZOE (wow)

becky (her testifying basically against her brother in court like damn)

bianca (some of my fave development)

jay

imogen (she started as a literal evil manipulating bitch)

dallas

yael (i feel like they really didnt kno what to do with them....they started them as this anti feminist gamer girl then ended with their character as nonbinary ? but i still liked the character by the end it just didnt feel like it fit)

maya (i really hated her in the first couple seasons but by next class she was...okay. tolerable)

lola (she went from unnecessary airhead character to great friend who is always there aw)

overall boring/annoying/eh:

chantay

alex (her storylines had soooo much potential but they fell flat imo)

danny

leia

sav

paige

drew

jimmy 

anya

marco

riley

zane

damian

toby

blue

wesley

mo

declan

peter

tori

frankie 

tiny (his gang involvement was interesting but i didnt give a shit abt his relationship shit in next class)

jack (they tried soooo hard with her character tht it was just annoying and unbelievable)

jonah

zig

winston

shay

sean

goldi

saad

katie (her addiction plot was so bad)

ones who deserved more than what they were given:

darcy

connor

terri

kelly

adam

[empressmanuscript]

Headcanons for Esme Song?

- she does dance, she wasn’t lying about that… she’s particularly good at ballet and she’d been doing it since she was a kid, getting really into it especially after her mom died

- she definitely has mental health issues, my headcanon is that after realizing that maya’s obsession with death was part of her depression, they actually notice something’s up with ESME TOO

- my headcanon is that i was there during the camping trip and i ate some of those pot brownies she made and we chilled together because she would be my BUD

- she’s bisexual… i don’t even think that’s a headcanon?? like?? she was in a poly relationship with frankie and zig! she’s bi

- she’s still taking anti anxiety medication 

- honestly when she said “i MADE you” or whatever to frankie i knew it was bullshit, she went straight to frankie again once she needed her, i want them to show her valuing that relationship because i kNOW she does

- i think she has some issues with her body sometimes like any teen girl, but she’s actually one of the few people her age who has no shame over it too, and her sex positivity isn’t a bad thing… like with the painting she wasn’t exactly WRONG

- she’s actually like… really nice when people are nice back to her lol

- her favourite fairy tale is sleeping beauty

- she’s a huge shakespeare nerd, her fave play is antony and cleopatra

- she lowkey loves disney musicals… including descendants… I SAID IT, I SAID WHAT I SAID AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN 

- she is actually incredibly smart, like she can get into an ivy league for science smart, she’s just always worried about APPEARING smart 

- she listens to classical music when she exercises and dances 

- beyonce is her SHIT

- every halloween she dresses up as tinkerbell and NOTHING else

- she actually loves the saga comics but otherwise only really likes obscure shit lol

- she just needs to be loved y’all!!!

[shippingsneeded-blog]

Prediction what the alumni do after high school: Maya Matlin - totally go back to music and will try to get big in new york, now she's grown-up Grace Cardinal - will live her life to the fullest and travel - will fulfill a bucking list and may get a lung transplant Zoë Rivas - will either go back to acting and try to get big - or will do something political, because she was very influenced by being student counselor and she might fight for lgbt+ rights Miles Hollingsworth - will be an author and write about his experience with his dad - he and tristan will be together after high school but will break up Jonah Haak - will go with Maya to new york and will first live as a street musician, but will succeed in music Goldi Nahir - will start wearing her hijab as a symbol and will model with it - will start a campaign against anti-muslims and will be the first model wearing a hijab Winston Chu - honestly I don't know so much about winston, since DNC treats him less and less but something with acting maybe Esme Song - esme will, after taking therapy lessons, study psychology and start being a psychologist and help kids, that suffer under depression and anxiety Tristan Milligan - tristan will either do something with politics, because he really loved the job as student counselor - or become a physiotherapist, because he knows how hard it is to do physio and wants to help people Tiny Bell - totally gets a science scholarship from a big school, where he will be in the biology branch of the school Zig Novak - either live as groupie at Maya's and do little jobs - or gets a sports scholarship - or becomes a dancer

[zayadriancas]

I just realized in the beginning of the trailer Esme is riding on Zig's back...vomit

[mayanovak]

I just looked at everyone who reblogged it and checked their tags and yikes you never said Esme was a bad person lol and saying zig should die for doing this to her smh she forgave him and saying someone should die is way worse than anything zig "did" in this situation. It's people like that that make it even harder to like certain characters cuz it's so annoying

LOL!!! YEP EXACTLY, it was just comparing zig’s perceptions of both girls and his relationships with them. it was more of a pro zaya/anti zesme post

[maya-matlin]

I don’t believe for a second Zig was ever in love with Esme. There’s no denying he cared for her, but I didn’t miss the fact he never directly stated he loved Esme or was serious about her. They didn’t let him answer Tiny’s question last season and then he said something vague about not shutting off feelings when talking to Esme. 

[judcute]

Let's talk Esme/Shay

Esme doesn’t like Shay. That’s a fact. She thinks she is uptight, a prude and way too serious. Even in #ButThatsNoneOfMyBusiness when they are searching bags for anti-anxiety medication… Esme complete randomly mentions Shay. Shay herself is uncomfortable with sexy stuff so that makes her naturally cold against Esme. But Esme is a complicated character so I think her dislike of Shay is so much more complicated.

In season 3 Esme presents herself as this “cool girl” who is untouchable…but that’s mostly because Esme mirrors everyone around her and has adjusted to Zigs behavior in this season. Yes, her being an asshole has always been part of her, she likes getting under peoples skin. But if you look at her interactions with different characters you see that she mostly takes over the attitude of that character, blows it up like ten times and throws it back into their face.

But deep down she isn’t that “cool girl”. She is the girl who called out Winston and Miles for talking in class. When studying for her exam she seemed genuinely annoyed that Zoë bothered her. She is on anti anxiety medication (which she was searching for by Shay when calling her uptight in the 1x05 nevertheless). Her outfits are always extremely well put together and her hair is always worn the same way. She is pretty serious and in some way uptight herself.

But an other thing we know is that she is not mentally stable. She could be like Shay, but she isn’t. Someone pointed out hypersexuality is an side effect of trauma. And we know her dad blames her for her moms suicide and put her in therapy, so I could imagine Shay being like the perfect daughter her dad would want. I think a part of this bothers her and that is the reason of all people she mostly picks on Shay. Like she said in HugeIfTrue, they both get straight a’s but only because Shay is a “good girl” she gets more credit. She wants Shay to lose control, to get angry, to show she isn’t “better” then her.

Not to forget they are both highly competitive. They both want to be the best. Shay couldn’t stand Esme was faster then that her. Shay herself is also easier ticked of by Esme then anyone else. Add to that that Esme is only nice if you are nice to her and “deserve it” (which is with how people talk about her behind her back pretty understandable). Of course this isn’t an excuse to Esme behavior against Shay, she should apologize but this situation is a lot more nuanced then Esme being a bitch for no reason and I hope this dynamic gets more explored.

[zayadriancas]