#anyway 👍 kills myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pseudophan · 4 months

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ficrec this fucked me up

#i thought i'd read all the universe jumping metafics but i think i missed this one #or rather i think i did see it but it wasn't finished yet so i never read it #anyway 👍 kills myself #its happy don't worry it just made me want to die for ten different reasons #dnp coming out in the middle of it being posted is funny though. like lol #but also made me feel worse for fic dan like ow dude u could have had it all huh #this really drives home how dnp's real life is more fanfic than any actual fanfic could ever be

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codecicle · 1 month

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im joking here but if charlie retires before my senior year im becoming a lunchclub theme'd blog. it's that or death and I don't really like the latter

#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#not as in id kill myself or anything. i think id just get a heart attack on the spot #anyway hes not gonna retire anytime soon obviously. he has too much dnd to play #also its a special interest im stuck with this shit for life. unfortunately #i just got reminded of some retirement jokes i made when matpat called it quits and charlie going on the worlds smallest hiatus #(from streams)

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bunnihearted · 6 days

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can i please fucking have a best friend before i kill myself i cannot stand this loneliness anymore it isnt even funny like im actually in so much pain bc of loneliness i feel like i cant breathe and like im gonna die everything hurts so bad i cant take it i try to pretend im ok and during a little while it works but then it all comes crashing down again i literally cannot be alone anymore i will die

#but with how fundamentally flawed and broken and fucked up and unlovable i am #i already know i will always be alone #i have known that deep in my bones since i was a child and everyone started shunning me #but oh my fucking god this hurts so bad i also know i wont be able to keep enduring this year after year after year #i am so fucking unlovable and unlikable and i only bother and burden everyone i come in contact with #i literally SHOULD kill myself so the world can be free of me #but im selfish and i keep clinging on (but mostly out of fear)#i just wish i had a gun so i could blow my brains out correctly and know i'd die so fucking fast #i just cant do it any other way #anyway my entire fucking body hurts because i am so lonely i will die #and i am losing my mind bc yeah i will sit here now and be distracted while typing this #but then i will just go back to my lonely room and like #god i wanna scream why am i alive? as if anyone values my life haha what a fucking joke i am #whateverrrr i'll go cut myself #but i dont even have anyone to show that to bc everyone hates me!!!!! 😁👍#just fucking do me a favor and kill me i cant take this anymore 🙂

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iris-kinnie · 8 days

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Ugh. I had a really bad day.

#chat sesh with iris #vent in the tags #had to get a super personal reminder of someone who I used to know who left me YEARS AGO but it still upsets me to hear her name and I #literally saw HER MOM who proceeded to talk a bunch about what she’s been doing #tw suicide mention #tw suicidal ideation #in the tags lol #so warning that it’s in the next tag #like I think about killing myself whenever I have a passing thought about her so this was too much #I’m not going to do it I’m physically safe 👍👍👍 but like #even despite all of the shitty things that happened I was still having a pretty good week because like. people have been really nice to me.#and I’ve been having a little fun #but this is way too far to excuse like practically no matter what else happened or happens 😭😭😭#like hearing how much better her life is than mine #I literally had to physically leave the situation #like she had finally after YEARS(!!!) gotten mostly off of my mind #but not anymore #the heaviest sigh ever #anyway I would apologize for venting but like this is my blog 👍👍👍#I don’t really have anywhere else to talk about it #like even the people who I consider my best friends did not care or respond or ask questions when I mentioned that I was having like a-#breakdown in public #other than one #shoutouts #and I’m probably going to sleep really soon so maybe I’ll wake up and think this is too personal and delete it #like if I’m only posting because of how tired I was #or who knows maybe my thoughts will keep me awake for hours #I still have nightmares about her #BLUE AND DAWN AND HOP AND ARVEN AND GREEN SAVE ME!!!!!

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crabussy · 1 year

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Hi what does the achillean in your profile mean ? Did your mother dip you in a river with questionable pollution control? Does your sulking throw a wrench in the war plans of the Greek alliance? Will future historians describe you and your partner as just friends? Do you hate sandals? What is it?

I’m just like achilles fr (looooves guys so much. and guy adjacent beings) except without the invulnerability. I’m pretty much vulnerable to every material on earth. for example if you hit me with a metal pipe I’d probably get hurt

#ask tag #LOVE HOW THIS IS PHRASED #basically achillean is the masc version of sapphic!!!#so. it’s not exclusively liking men. you can be bi and achillean #it basically just means you have a male aligned gender and you like male aligned individuals #can be masc enbies or fem men or anything (:< 👍#its a term I really love and feel really fits my experiences!!!#also thanks for being cool about it I got scared when I started reading your ask #because the last person to mention it to me told me they hoped my pets die and that I killed myself for identifying as achillean #weird people out there #anyway!!! it’s not a super well known term

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memesandmusicalss · 3 months

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weve had these plans for three weeks. okay then this is fine whatever im overreacting whatever it doesnt matter

#killing myself #olive's ramblings #been looking forward to this for a while BUT TIS FIRN #im being dramatic kts my fault anyways whatwverr #i was being annoying #👍👍👍👍👍 whatever

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iqmmir · 6 months

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Hi im back . For some time

#.mimiming ❜#um . hi im gonna slee soon but i missed you all so much #umm first of all im trying to ccut down in screentime because my therapist told me to #second. after two or three months of convincing myself that i literally do not care im only going to school for just a few more days (onl #y today and wednesday) i literally do not care #i almost keep crying . because well um #idk. i was originally planning on cutting off contact with everyone #because of stuff thats happened before #but my friends. my current friends dont just treat me as a therapist or something so #also one of my wives would probably hunt me down and kill me if i tried to cut off contact #but ill still miss this stupid class and this stupid school and all the stupid teachers and students #and the horrible tasting canteen food #and the playground ive played in eight times total despite being here for 12 years #idk man #also because of my periods my mood swings were so much worse #and i just ..idk i needed a break ig #anyways im back for sometime then ill start looking for a job #me friend said maybe we can do something together #idk #you can always send me asks and dms tho 👍👍#im not really sure . like about anything right now #ill try to get the drawing requests done soon maybe #wild how time passes huh #god i need to stop acting like such a grownup im literally three years old

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sodrippy · 8 months

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having an actual idea to write for the first time in Years but instantly remembering the disgusting vulnerability of actually physically typing anything out

#its not even serious i just cant get past the inherent embarrassment of. something. not sure what 👍#anyway maybe ill sob wail throw up and then write 15 words then kill myself that could be a fun day #i missed u kpop reaction images in my phone<3

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piplupod · 26 days

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searchengine dot com clicks search bar typing "how do i make peace with the fact that i am living a life that is the situation i was terrified of ending up in as a kid. how do i make peace with the fact that my younger self would've killed themself if they saw where we are now because the only reason they stayed alive was for a dream that has been relatively recently rendered impossible forever. how do i continue to pretend that i am just the same as everyone else and a-okay when i feel like i need to scream for help nearly constantly. how do i make peace with a situation that makes me feel nauseous to simply think about and remember i exist in."

#anyways i suppose its a good thing but i am going to get set up to use the food bank soon yayyyy #this is so scary lol i thought... i thought i was going to go to university and become a therapist or smth in the psychology field #and now i am. staring down the barrel of applying for welfare. and unable to work. and still living under my abusers thumbs.#and if i dont apply for welfare then i am going to run out of money and ermmm its game over at that point. christ!#counselor today told me very genuinely that she's damned if i'm going to kill myself on her watch fdsgjkl #me crying to her saying i just want to admit myself into the psych ward while my parents are away so they dont find out about it #just so i can get someone to fucking help me through the welfare application process. i would like a hand to hold im sorry!!#things are Not good 👍👍👍#but at least i might be able to use the food bank. but i still feel like i am not bad off enough to use these resources #despite like. i qualify for welfare at this point. thats why i can apply for it fdjskl.#but i still somehow feel like i am not bad off enough for this stuff. idk. argh argh argh argh #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #suicide cw

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reddiamond505 · 2 months

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straight up "creating them". and by "them", haha, well. let's just say. Rivers. In The Dsert.

#bla #persona 5 #ig #i had to shut down my pc before completing the last fight FML!!!!#anyways this game is good 👍! <- absolutely deranged #game so good im KILLING MYSELF /J #and im still not done.... WHY IS THIS GAME SO FUCKING HUGE

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faggotwalkwithme · 2 months

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qaughhhhxhdhbebrrh

#everything is bad rn.#just had to get out of car after road trip (i’m sitting in the back) which is always bad #bad*#there’s a huge sleeping bag that was next to me which had the worst fucking texture ever #and my mum was constantly brushing against i with her clothes which also have a bad texture and together they made the worst fucking sound #there’s a kid in front of me who has been annoying me all day #and she always drags her fingers along the roof of the car and the seats and the sleeping bag and i can’t stand it #anyway just as i was about to go out #i dropped my phone and o couldn’t get it out again it was stuck in the trunk of the car #so i had to get out without my phone which is fine i don’t need to use my phone all the time but i like to hold it #it makes me feel more comfortable holding like. idk that shape and weight and stuff IDK it’s weird #but yeah i had to wait until the bags all got unloaded to get my phone back but before i got it back i went to the bathroom #which i couldn’t find so my dad asked the staff of the hotel where one was but he called me his mf daughter #😁👍#then i went to the bathroom #cried #my mum came into the bathroom and i hate it when she does this and i knew she was going to and she did #she called out my deadname in the public bathroom and told #me she had my phone #and i was so fucking stressed o did not want to talk i still do not want to talk #so i was just like ok #and she was like Ok???? like i had killed her fucking parents or something #so i had to be like thank you while i was having a meltdown #cleaned myself up and now i’m in the room and it’s hot and i don’t like it but whatever #shut up mars #:(

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grlfriends · 2 months

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and tonight [redacted] will be the reason I stay alive

#omg new obsession hiii 😍#g.txt #the amount of posts i make about my momnis just 👍 i need to leave or kill myself idk #i cant be around her any longer #spending the month with her is so bad i wish i could sleep all those days and never see her face #anyway i dont think I'll ever feel like a real adult while here

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twinknote · 3 months

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#when i first typed the title it said Is it just me or weee #WEEEE #anyway i’m killing everything and then myself 👍#unless someone wanna murder suicide w me 👉👈#👁️🫦👁️

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quarks-pussy · 11 months

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Just turned 28 so that's my excuse for this post.

Don't worry why it's on the trek blog, I simply live here now lol

My transition goals (somewhat realistic)

My transition goals (less realistic)

My transition goals (...other?)

#originally i had vico in there but i realised 1) i'm never gonna look like that again and that's fine and 2) it's probably not a great idea #to put ppl who aren't white in the first section since i'm white as shit myself. so i went with my original ofmd related gender envy instea #personal #not star trek #original posts fresh from quark's pussy #to clarify my bday is technically over now (16th) but while it's generally not acceptable to wish an early bday in my culture belated is 👍#over in my time zone anyway. and yes the whole superstition/rudeness thing is why i usually don't mention it ahead of time online lol #cuz americans will hear something like 'it's my birthday next week' and immediately wish you a good one like bro y u tryna kill me :/#(that's the superstition. if you wish someone an early happy bday they might not make it to that day)#and then i was asleep for like 95% of my birthday lmao #anyway

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codecicle · 1 year

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dear fucking god charlie slimecicle's character formula has ruined me once again. it's 4:15 am as im writing this and my body is litterally vibrating I can't stop thinking about peter fucking sqloint he's so me coded fr fr <3 <3

#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#jrwi #i promised i would start taking care of myself better and fixing my sleep schedule #AND THEN I JUST HAAAADDDDDD TO WATCH THE ANGLESTONE SUPERCUT #FUCK ME AND THIS GAY EARTH #i need to draw the urge is so strong #but i dont want to draw him digitally i want to draw him traditionally #but i dont have any of my sketchbooks:(#also i cant even DO anything about it because i dont have patreon :((((((#i watched the supercut then i binged art here then fics as many of them as i could read at once #and now i still cant sleep so my ass is probably about to be even MORE mentally ill about albatrio!!!#(because this dumbass is on episode 56 of riptide and the domestic vibes for this episode are killing me)#anyway point is charlie slimecicle make a character that isnt autistic and laced with cocaine for autistic people challenge (impossible)

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iknowwhereyousleepatnight · 3 months

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yet again an anime i put on for vaguely paying attention to while drawing turned out to be interesting and i got no drawing done bc i got distracted

#i was fooling myself the only things i can listen to while drawing without getting distracted are audiobooks recorded lectures #and music and occasionally tv shows but apparently only ones i have already watched a million times #tho ig this is the natural order of things bc i genuinely will not start any show if i’m not half-doing smth else i can’t sit down to #watch tv just to watch tv i have to at least think i’m going to be doing smth else or i can’t start a show #anyway the anime is black butler my sister put it on and we are on episode 8 or 9 or smth and it is good but i do not think i will #be captivated like i was with death note (or lowkey nge. i never post abt nge bc i am saving that for later but it had me in a chokehold #and it kills me that i’ve been too busy to actually like get into it fr which i think i will try to do at some point when i have the mental #capacity for it) but i think it’s still interesting 👍 i like the aesthetics of it 👍 and i think sebastian is really cunty 👍#kinda pisses me off tho like ugh of course i’d like the show with that kind of aesthetic 🙄 i should have told my sister to pick #something else the second i saw the intro bc of course i’d be distracted by that 🙄

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