#anyway I'm having fun and that's what matters

[bitteriekitten]

yeehaw. (1/2)

synopsis — save a horse, ride a cowboy or whatever it is that they're saying out there in the wild west. OR the l&ds boys as cowboys. (1/2)

contents — fem!reader, fluff, terrible attempts at writing crack ??????, weak attempts at banter el oh el, reader has a dad who runs a ranch and she works at the ranch alongside the l&ds boys, vague descriptions of ranch life (all source material i have for the ranch lifestyle are all from the cowboy romances i've read. sry), farmhand!xavier, livestock veterinarian!zayne, (brief descriptions of) riding instructor!rafayel, sweaty stinky and shirtless l&ds cowboys, swearing, suggestive content and language, and probably so many more that i've overlooked. lmk if i missed anything !!!

featuring — xavier, zayne, & rafayel (separate fics)

notes — if infold comes out with a cowboy AU multibanner best believe i'm spending half of my life savings just to get all of them 😍 but fr, this was rly fun to make!! i've been referring to the cowboy romances that i read during my hiatus to write this, so i apologize if this isn't an exact replica of the cowboy lifestyle. u can catch sylus and caleb in part 2 <3 i had to separate them bc their AUs are different from what i cooked up for xav zayne and raf (hint: they're bull-riders eheheheh). feedback is most appreciated and if u have any more requests (or jus want to scream abt l&ds with me), you can drop them down in my ask box - no matter how unhinged or wholeseome they may be <3

check out my other stuff here ❤️‍🔥

you stumbled out of your room yawning, startled awake by multiple loud crashes down at the ranch, which was conveniently right outside your window. laughter sounded outside, followed right after by something being dropped and some colorful swearing. you vaguely remembered snoring through your father telling you that he had hired some extra hands, three or so men he’d met at a bar in town. so you couldn’t really be mad at them for being rowdy so early in the morning – they were cowboys. plus it was so early in the morning, you didn't have the energy yet to be pissed. “looks like the princess is finally awake.” your father called from the dining table. he quickly poured orange juice in an empty glass for you. “i don’t wanna hear anything about how fuckin’ loud they are down at the ranch. you should’ve been used to waking up early by now anyway.” “i wasn’t going to.” you said with an eye roll, but thanked him for the orange juice anyway. you then stepped outside, haphazardly putting on shoes to go around the back to see what the new help were doing.

Xavier stuck out like a sore thumb at the ranch, with his light hair and youthful face, but he was definitely still a sight for sore eyes out on the field. when he wasn't handling the livestock, he was moving around bales of hay and other heavy equipment, his biceps bulging and his jaw tense from the effort.

you'd spot him out on the field wearing nothing but grimy jeans, a white hat, a pair of boots, and a pair of leather gloves as he moved a new shipment of hay. it was why you were grateful for a window by your bed; you had full free access to ogle at anything and everything he did out there.

but it was also why you hated it. xavier somehow knew when you'd be watching him, like it was instinctual for him (or you were just staring too much that it bordered on creepiness). he'd catch your eye through the window just as he hauled another bale into the back of his truck, and smile when you'd quickly turn away in embarrassment.

he was a hit with the kids and the chickens, handling them their milk and feed in record time and effectively shutting them up for the next five hours. the horses were a different story with xavier, though. you often had to help him out with them, as they sometimes get a bit picky on who gets to feed and generally care for them.

you couldn't help but find it hilarious that both xavier and the horses flinch whenever they see and come into any kind of contact with each other. he's had a few extremely close calls with their back legs, but they eventually managed to warm up enough for xavier to finally begin sensitivity training for them.

speaking of sensitivity training, you were surprised to spot him outside your home about to knock on your door.

"xavier?" you called, opening the door for him before he could rap his fist on the wood.

"hey, y/n." xavier greeted you as he placed his hand over at the top of your doorframe, leaning over you with his entire height. you gulped at how he was basically towering over you, his shadow covering most of your figure.

"do you think i can borrow your dresses for the horses?" he asked, in the same tone he would use when he would ask for a basket of eggs.

you blanched, taken aback from his request as your flustered state immediately broke. "um. i don't think my dresses will fit the horses." you replied with an eyebrow raised.

"no, it's for me." xavier quickly reassured you, pointing to himself, but it did little to actually reassure you. "i'm starting to do sensitivity training on the new horses we're fostering, and i forgot to bring my usual stuff from my apartment." he said.

you scoffed at his ridiculousness, and how serious he was taking his ridiculousness. "uh... i don't think my dresses will fit you either." you replied, this time with a chuckle you couldn't hold back. your eyes flitted over his figure subconsciously, and he caught you in the act with a smirk.

"how would you know that, y/n?" he asked, tilting his head to the side, his hat tilting along with the movement.

your cheeks burned in embarrassment and you turned away from him, avoiding his eyes that were suddenly very interested in you. "what color did you want that dress, xavier?" you asked instead, walking to your bedroom with him following behind with a chuckle.

xavier in a bright yellow dress over his jeans that barely zipped up his back still managed to look good. he also decided to ditch his hat for one of your ribbon headbands, and also snatched up your father's old new year's glasses from 2006. you held back a laugh behind the palm of your hand as you watched him, wanting to keep it professional for his sake at least.

armed with a folding umbrella, xavier stood by one of the brown horses, who refused to make eye contact with him. he quickly tightened his grip around the rope holding the horse, then clicked open the umbrella, to which the horse flinched back and pulling xavier with him.

you couldn't hold back your laugh when xavier stumbled at the force of the horse's movements. he looked back at you with a grin of his own.

"enjoying yourself, y/n?" he asked.

"very much so," you replied, still laughing.

it continued on for several hours, with xavier getting up to anything just to startle the poor horse. there truly was no wrong way to go about desensitizing a horse - dropping things accidentally and mixing up words managed to work anyway.

by the end of the session, the horse still flinched at the slightest of sudden sounds and movement, but it was less violent now - that's a win in xavier's book. you retired back to your front porch with a book and a pitcher of iced tea after xavier's antics got boring by the 30-minute mark.

you snorted when the cowboy walked up your porch still in your dress and other accessories in hand. he had his hat on this time instead of your headband, which contrasted greatly against the yellow dress he still had on. the dress had dirt on the edges of the skirt and mud splatters over the torso, which also splattered over the side of his neck.

it was infuriating how he still managed to look so fucking good.

"you're doing the laundry for that one." you told him instead, laughing loudly as he approached you. he took your half-empty glass of iced tea and drank all of it in one go.

"i think i managed to zip this thing up completely after i crawled in between shane's legs." xavier said as he poured himself another glass.

you snorted, "why'd you give the horse a human name?"

xavier shrugged, "he looked like a shane."

you laughed again, and xavier smiled to himself as he finished drinking up his second glass of iced tea. he set down the glass back on its coaster and turned his back to you, "can you unzip me? i cant reach the zipper now that it's zipped all the way up."

you laughed as your hands reach up to undo the zipper. it only zipped up to his lower back, right below where his hard chest couldn't be squeezed into the fabric. but miraculously it managed to zip all the way up.

"never thought i'd be the one unzipping my dress from another person." you joked. xavier turned his head to you with a raised eyebrow and one corner of his lips upturned into a smirk.

"oh? did you want me to unzip your dress for you, then?" he teased as the zipper finally opened up enough for him to take his arms out of the dress's sleeves.

"i- xavier!" you exclaimed, face slowly heating up again like he did earlier in the day.

you stared at his glistening back as he stepped out of the dress through the skirt. xavier turned to face you this time, folding your dress neatly into one hand. his head tilted to the side and a deceivingly innocent smile appeared on his face as he held out his hand for you to take.

"come on. show me where you do your laundry." he said, back to his innocent antics like he didn't just give you a heart attack.

Zayne looked like he should be the last person working at a ranch. he showed up like he stumbled upon the wrong place at the wrong time, his eyes unsure and uneasy.

but then your father quickly steered him to the heavily pregnant goat inside the barn, whose leg was sprained after it got knocked over during the night. zayne quickly got to work to bandaging up the poor mom, managing to get its leg healed and working in no time.

you often just stood by the veterinarian in astonishment, just watching zayne work his magic onto the other livestock. he was probably the only rancher you've seen who never gets plucked at by the chickens, or be head-butted by the goats, or have the horses flinch away from his touch. you've had your fair share of veterinarians at the ranch, but they were never as young and efficient (and honestly, handsome) as he was.

when he wasn't out checking up on the livestock, zayne was moving around bales of hay and heavy equipment. you didn't know why you were surprised that a man as handsome and capable as zayne had a toned body of his own - walking around the ranch with just a oil-stained wife-beater, muddy jeans, and a pair of worn down boots.

zayne was quiet, kept to himself most of the time, and did his job quickly and orderly. he was practically every rancher's wet dream in terms of being responsible. you had to give it to him for being passionate about his work; it was clear as day that your father loved having him out at the field.

safe to say, you had grown a little fond of the stoic doctor, despite his apparent disinterest in you. he only ever spared you hums and nods of acknowledgement whenever you'd assist him, and preferred to reply to you in monosyllabic sentences.

it was hilarious to think that this was literally all you had to gain your silly crush on him - just assisting him whenever he needed it and being at arm's length from him.

still, it was enough for you to have your cheeks flushing whenever you saw him, or stand beside him as he worked. because at least you had something to look forward to when waking up for another grueling day at the field. you've long accepted that he will never realistically be interested in you at all, and that everything between the two of you was to be kept strictly professional.

but if you were being honest with yourself, a tiny bit of hope was still clinging onto the tendrils of your heart - that maybe, maybe he feels the same way as you do.

it was the little things he did; it might as well be a figment of your imagination with how seldom it happens. but you know that his eyes following you from across the barn means something, or that the way his hand guides you out of the way from a fussy horse isn't just a thing he does all the time. you know, deep down in your heart, there's something there.

however, each time it happens, as you lay down on your bed every night, staring up at your ceiling in the dark, you remind yourself once more - everything between the two of you was to be kept strictly professional.

but it was on a friday evening that you and zayne were alone out on the field. the little bonfire he made crackled and popped, mixing in with the sounds of the quiet night at the countryside. you walked out of the house with candied fruits and iced tea, a small reward for the hard work done for the day. zayne accepted the fruit enthusiastically - he seemed to have a sweet tooth.

"any plans for the weekend, dr. zayne?" you asked. zayne shook his head and sipped on his iced tea.

"no - i'd rather be here." he replied.

"ah..." you nodded, a little embarrassed at how quickly he shot down your attempt in small talk. "...well, me too. the bar down town's a little grungy, anyway." you said, a feeble crack at filling up the silence between the both of you.

zayne hummed and nodded, taking another sip of his drink. "i'd rather be here with you."

the hairs on the back of your neck stood up as you tried to process his words, his voice, his everything. you turned to him, unsure of what to say - what to do, "wh- what?"

zayne, to your horror, looked completely serious. what a bad time to remember that he rarely ever joked around, especially with you. "i like your company, y/n." he said, a hint of a smile on his lips. "i'd rather stay here in the quiet with you after a long day of work than to go anywhere else for the weekend."

your heartbeat quickening, you tried to think of something to say, something smart or witty to reply to his sudden confession. but you were helplessly blanking out. "o-oh. um... i wasn't expecting you to say that."

zayne cocked his head to the side, still keeping his gaze on you. "what did you expect me to say, y/n?"

you shrug with a singular shoulder, squirming helplessly underneath his gaze. "i dunno - that you're busy. or have to work overnight." literally anything else that doesn't make me hope that i have a chance for you.

"i managed to finish the day's work in record time, and i don't like working outside my work hours." zayne replied matter-of-factly, adjusting the watch on his wrist. "and that's because of your help. you help me maintain my work that i don't see the need to work overtime. at this rate, you must be sick of seeing me."

"what? no, i don't." you replied in shock.

"really?" zayne asked, his lips forming a wide smile this time. "you're by my side almost 24/7 down at the ranch at work. wouldn't you be appalled that i still want to spend my time with you after work?"

you scoffed in disbelief, frazzled by his sudden confessions coming at you from all sides. you avoid his eyes, still intently staring at you, burning holes into your skin at this point. "i'm more surprised that you want to see me all the time." you said softly.

"why, do you want to see me all the time?"

you hadn't noticed that zayne had moved to sit right beside you. you flinched at the warm shoulder that bumped against yours, rendering you breathless as you faced him, your eyes finally meeting his.

no words were exchanged. you hoped your your hammering heartbeat was enough of an answer for him. no words were actually exchanged, as you were too busy leaning in to kiss him while the bonfire slowly burned out into the starry night.

Rafayel liked to show up at the ranch early in the morning. while you were still busy catching up on sleep, he's already working on a few stuff around the barn. you were often not-so-rudely woken up by some drilling and hammering down at the ranch, and more often than not it was because rafayel saw something wrong with the equipment and thought that it needed some quick fixing.

it quickly became part of your routine to cuss him out through your window.

"can't you keep that shit down?! it's ass crack o'clock!" you yelled with your eyes still struggling to open all the way. rafayel paused from hammering at the fence he just fixed and turned to you with one eye closed and a delighted grin.

"sorry that i'm trying to fix the squeaking fence you were complaining about the other day, cutie!" he replied sarcastically, then proceeded to ignore your demands to continue hammering on the wood.

it went on like that as he got around the ranch. you'd complain about how loud he was being, and he'd have a witty quip for you already locked and loaded. you did your best to have as little interaction with him at the ranch as possible, but with how often your tasks coincided with his, it was almost impossible not to run into him.

he always had that exasperating, devastatingly handsome smile on his face whenever you cross paths at the ranch. with your eyes downcast, you always tried to pretend you hadn't even noticed him, doing something on your phone or checking if you'd stepped on something as he passed by you. you'd let out a sigh of relief as he just leaves without saying anything else to you, but you don't miss the cheeky laugh that trails after you.

"honestly cutie, you're like, my favorite co-worker." rafayel declared after hauling the trash out on the back. you scoffed at his words, appalled that he'd even say that out loud. "i'm the only lunatic who's crazy enough to work the same shifts as you." you replied.

"exactly. great minds think alike, no?" rafayel winked at you, lurching your heart to your throat in surprise.

"you're a dumbass."

your father quickly got rafayel to do horseback riding lessons for visitors and tourists at the ranch - he was young and had a boyish charm to him that hollywood liked to give cowboys in their movies. children loved the friendly cowboy with the winning smile, who has a steady hand over their backs and another on the horse's reins.

but he was especially a hit with the women, who bat their eyelashes at the cowboy and squirm in delight when he tells them to hold onto the reins tighter with a firm voice. either rafayel was clueless to their blatant flirting, or he just didn't care. the amount of filth these women had spewing out their mouths was honestly laughable.

and you don't blame them at all. rafayel was indeed gorgeous, despite how infuriating he was to talk to most of the time. but you don't go around telling that kind of information to anybody else; he'd have a field day if he finds out that his "favorite co-worker" thought he had pretty eyes and soft hair that she'd like to touch.

nothing ever really comes out of the flirting, though. unlike the average cowboy, rafayel didn't care much about attracting the most amount of admirers. he's always hard at work, like he's got something to prove. he fixes leaking pipes, screws and unscrews things, and can paint murals on the back of barns like nothing. he has his eyes set on something else, it seemed.

"cutie! wait up!"

just as you were about to climb up into your truck, rafayel caught up with you. he was sweating all over, his clothes stained with oil and mud, and a part of his cheek covered in streaks of mud. he furiously wiped away the dirt on his face with a damp towel as he approached you. despite all the grime that covered him, he still managed to smell like expensive perfume.

"you stink, rafayel." you said despite that, moving away from him. rafayel gave you a little shrug and swept a hand through his hair, slicking it back with his sweat.

"some twin boys almost fell off a horse. somebody had to hold them away from the mud." he replied. he pointed to your truck with his thumb, grinning widely. "can i drive us to dinner?"

you raised an eyebrow at him, suspicious of his motives, to which he pouted and pulled out his ridiculous puppy-dog face at you. "please, y/n? i want that steak you told me to get last time i went with your dad." he pleaded.

"you want to go get steak without your boss?" you asked with a humorless laugh, turning away from him to open the door the driver's seat. "you asking me out on a date, rafayel?"

"duh." rafayel said, leaning on your truck with one arm against the side. he held out on hand and began listing down things with his fingers, "i'll pay for our meal, i'll be the best gentleman, and i'll take you home back home before 10. promise!"

you blanched at his insistence - you were truly only joking with him about the date, but whatever he's offering sounded really good. this was one of the many times he's tried to take you out somewhere, and you've only ever brushed him off every time he did so.

you glanced at rafayel's face, whose smile grew wider the more the silence stretched on. he leaned in closer, giving you a closer look at his handsome smile. you felt your resolve slowly crack away; you truly couldn't stand this cowboy...

"if you stop touching my radio, we'll get steak." you deadpanned.

"i'll skip only one song, cutie. just one, then i'll never judge your music taste again." rafayel bargained with his hands clasping together. you rolled your eyes at his ridiculousness, then tilted your head to your truck, signaling him to get in.

rafayel cheered as he quickly climbed up the driver's seat. you walked around to get to the front seat, shivering at the cold air gusting from the air-conditioning. rafayel slumped back into his seat, relieved to be away from the heat of the afternoon sun.

"your truck's soooo nice, y/n." he groaned in satisfaction, "you've got functioning air-conditioning, soft cushions, little to no scratches on the truck. you're a wonderful driver."

you snorted as you grabbed your box of CDs, looking through your selection. "if you actually know how to take care of your truck, you wouldn't be complimenting it like this." you said.

"but how else am i going to have a chance to be this close to you, cutie?" rafayel teased, sitting up straight this time and turning the truck on. dumbstruck at his response, you turned to him with your mouth agape. "are you dumb?" you asked.

rafayel shook his head. "nope, just think you're pretty."

you choked on a gasp. "rafayel!"

he laughed out loud as he put the truck in drive. "what?" he asked, pretending to look innocent.

you scoffed, "you're ridiculous."

"you like it."

you didn't respond, afraid that you'll say that you do.

taglist 𓂃۶ৎ jus tagging random users <3 hope u enjoy!!!

@berrryparfait @lioria @babypetri @hyunlixwife @zuhaeri @c9tnoos @sylusbigapples @dollyswishingwell @sixeyedgodswife @celestialforce @syxlx @dana-nite @lacejinnie @thearynn @feralkuromi @destinysrequiem @thesrtuggleisveryreal @orange-stars @mocha-the-muse @usertala @kpop-and-otome @serendididy @zephilyr @ywnzn @a-jynx @elitheidiot1 @almondtofuus @goldenroses @esspeon @froleineeeee

[gay-wh0re-slut]

saw this pic from fanatics fan fest and my brain said ✨teacher-student✨ hehehe

A Little Help

rhea x reader

content: you're learning how to do a new move at wrestling camp but you just can't seem to get it right. Rhea had something in mind to help you put your mind at ease. (SMUT!!!!!!!! with reader as a person with a vagina that uses she/her) it's a bit long and a slow burn but it's good i promise please hang in there please i love you

"Fuck me dude," you say under your breath for what seems like the tenth time.

"You okay, (Y/N)?" your friend asks walking towards you. They've been with you this entire process and even helped you get into the program considering how many medals they've seen on your bedroom walls from past wrestling matches. You appreciated that they pushed you into this but right now you were cursing everything under the sun.

You wiped sweat off your forehead, "W-what?" You turn to face them, not knowing who it was at first. "Oh... yeah..." you sighed. "Well no. I can't get this. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but I do know but my body won't let me do what I need to do....ya know?"

Your friend laughed, "Oooh yeah I know. What are you trying to do?"

"Hear me out-"

"Bruh," they cut you off in the most monotoned voice knowing exactly what you were about to say.

"Bruh!" you laughed, embarrassed. You stepped closer to them so no one could hear you but it didn't matter too much anyway; there were so many grunts and yells and slamming of bodies on mats that it was hard to hear anyway, "I'm trying to Riptide this fucking pillow and I have no clue how she turns them around. And I am not trying to impress her."

They gave you a look.

"Okay fine, maybe a little bit," you looked across the room to the teacher of the day, Rhea Bloody Ripley herself. Today was her day to teach the class. Each class, a different superstar comes in to show their signature move and some other tips and tricks. This wasn't the first time she's been here, but that didn't change your mind about how she made you feel.

"Why don't you just ask for help?" they stretched their arms to make it look like they were doing something.

You follwed suit, "Do you know how big of a fool I would make of myself? Again?! I can't do that! My career would be over because the amount of shame I would feel and the amount of people that would make fun of me and-"

"Woah woah woah. Chill, she's not going to make fun of you for asking a question. You know how nice she is outside of the ring, there's no way. Plus, and I don't want your head to get big about this, but I definitely think she's been eyeing you all day," they smile and gently point at the goth superstar from across the way.

Rhea gave the two of you a gentle smile and nod then went back to talking to a worker at the gym. She was fiddling with a football she found by squeezing it and throwing it up and down, giving her hands something to do. She was wearing a sports bra, her big dark gray jeans with holes at the knees and her chunky platform vans. Her hair was loose and she had little to no makeup on, but she still looked menacing at times.

"There's no way, bro, she's just checking on the class," you turn away from her gaze.

"Right," they rolled their eyes. "Tell me that again after you talk to her," they take a step back hiding a giggle.

"I'm not going to talk to her, its a damn pillow, I can fig-"

"Hey guys!" the unmistakable austrailain accent said behind you.

The world paused around you as you met her eyes. She was like a scene out of a 90s movie as she took the last steps towards you with a fan blowing her hair perfectly, a halo of light behind her, and you swear you could hear a DING as a sparkle animation bounced off her pearly whites. Like nothing else mattered but this 5'9 tattooed woman standing with her hands on her hips in front of you.

"Sorry, she's a bit shy," your friend laughed which shocked you back to reality.

"I couldn't tell with the way she was throwing this poor guy around," her strong arm picked up the pillow with ease.

"Ha. Ha." Was all you could get out. Your mouth was dry, your heart was beating incredibly fast, and somehow you were sweating more than you already were.

"Oh that only happens when she gets used to you," they laughed again.

Rhea laughed with them, "Well, I'd like to see that."

"Yeah! Show her," they said.

You choked on nothing, "I gotta...get some water," you say frantically and speed walked off the mats to the piles of backpacks and water bottles. You mutter "fuck...shit...dammit...fuck" quietly as you walk away.

As you chug your water trying to slow your heart rate, you turn around to see your friend and Rhea talking. They laughed and glanced over at you multiple times. You were hoping and praying to anything that would listen that your friend wasn't saying something embarrassing about you.

Finally catching your breath, you work up the courage to walk back over to them, "sorry about that, realized I hadn't had water in a minute."

"All good!" The austrailian said, "now, show me what you've got," she tossed the body pillow at you.

Catching it at the last second, "uh yeah, okay." You fix your footing, grab the pillow's hand and try to go for the riptide, but you failed again.

"That's all right! Try again! But this time grab it this way. Can I show you? I won't go through with it," she reached her hands out towards you.

"Sure!" and to your surprise and your friend's, she demonstrated it on you instead of the pillow.

You could feel your friend's eyes widen as they gasped quietly covering their mouth trying to act non-chalant about it.

You gasped loudly as she bent you over, grabbed your wrist between your legs and hooked your other arm around hers. "Now see, you were grabbing it like this," the arm she hooked, she switched to how you were doing it, "but it should've been this way," she hooked your arm correctly again.

"Oh!" you exclaimed as she gently let you go.

"Wait can you do that again, please?" Your friend asked, knowing exactly what they were doing.

"Yeah, is that okay with you?" Rhea looked directly into your eyes, as if she was staing into your brain and reading all of your thoughts.

"Y-yeah," you shrug contently.

So she does it again ever so slightly more aggressively and your heart jumps.

"Oooh okay yeah, so when you grab the hand underneath is that the driving force of the lift or..." you friend asks, egging it on longer.

"I'm gonna pick you up a little bit," the woman says quietly to you then back to her normal volume, "it's easier in one quick motion but yes, and no. You gotta use the hooked arm as leverage to turn the person around so that you can slam them down. The bottom grab helps lift them up so that you can turn them," as she was explaining she was genty lifting you up and down and shifting you around as if you weighed nothing.

"Oh I see! That makes much more sense, thank you!" Your friend smiled at you.

The tattooed arms gently set you down and helped you back up, "your turn!"

But before you could say anything back, "TIME'S UP! That's it for today everyone! Say thank you to Rhea for coming in today!" the orginal teacher yelled.

Rhea waved at everyone as they said their praises, "Please, thank you!"

"See you all next week!" The teacher yelled again.

"Damn," Rhea sighed, "and I was hoping you were getting used to me."

"I'll see you later, (Y/N)!" your friend giggled as they walked away from the two of you.

You waved to them as you finally said a full sentence to the wrestler for the first time, "Don't worry I was. But thank you for helping, I was getting really frustrated earlier," you laughed it off.

"I could tell, thats why I walked over here," she smiled, that made your heart melt.

"You got me," you chuckled.

"Follow me. I don't want them to kick us out before the next class," she gestured you to follow.

"Let me get my stuff," you run, grab your stuff and run back.

After what felt like 20 minutes of walking but was really two minutes, she finally spoke up, "I could see that you were tense, so I just wanted to make sure you were all good."

Taken aback by her kindness, which you shoudn't have been, "Y-yeah, I'm good. Just got in my head a bit, but you explained it and I'm pretty sure I got it for next time."

"Good," She held the door to the private locker room they gave her, you didn't even realize where she was taking you because you were so enthralled in her back tattoos, the way she walked, her back muscles, her shoulders, her hair, her hands, her - "I noticed you were favoring your right leg, did you hurt it?" She closed the door, locking it but you didn't notice that part.

"W-what?...Oh, no, I went a little too hard on that leg at the gym, forgot what count I was on, it's just a little sore is all."

'Crazy she saw that. I didn't think she was looking at me at all. Maybe they were right about her staring,' you thought.

"Have a seat, I know some massages that are good for that," her hands pointed to the couch.

"Okay," you hesitated a little but you listened.

"Good girl," her voice was deeper than usual.

Your heart skipped a beat as your legs became weak, you shifted on the couch slightly at her words. She took a sip a water before she walked over and knelt down in front of you sitting on her heels. You sat up straighter and cleared your throat.

"Where does it hurt?" her voice was smooth and low.

"M-my thigh," you choked out, "my quad specifically."

"Mind if I touch you there?"

"Go ahead," you were surprised you were able to talk right now.

She grazed her hands over your thigh feeling your bare skin. You were only wearing booty shorts and a sports bra, that you were totally comfortable wearing but now you felt more exposed than you did before. She gently added pressure as she rubbed your thigh over and over, massaging out the knots.

"Does that feel good?" She looks up at you.

"Mmhmm," you tried to relax everything but it was getting hot in that locker room.

She stopped and placed her hands on both of your thighs, "relax honey," she breathed, "I'm not going to do anything...you don't want me to."

You shifted again, "sorry."

"Don't be," She slowly bowed her head down and kissed your sore thigh.

You gasped and pushed yourself away from her.

She removed her hands quickly, "Sorry I didn't mean to startle-"

"No! N-no, it's...okay."

"You sure?"

"Uh yeah..." You said shyly, "yeah, yes," you said more confidently.

She smiled slyly and replaced her hands, she kissed your thigh again then went back to massaging it. A few minutes passed of her rubbing your sore thigh, you slowly but surely relaxed into her touch. Letting your head lull back on the couch cushion, you were breathing steadily but after a while you were fully relaxed, focusing on her movements. After another moment, she added a lot more pressure than she orginally was and you let out a small moan.

"Ooo, I liked that," she whispered so she added more pressure.

Unvoluntarily, you let out another moan. You realized that it didn't bother you as much anymore, being vulnerable in front of her. Something about her made you calm when you were alone with her. Was it the massage, or the quiet hum of the music from the gym? Either way you have never felt more relaxed. Which was surprising because she made you feel like a school girl with a crush just a few minutes ago.

"There you go. Let's see how far we can go, yeah?" her voice was still so smooth but darker than before.

Her tattooed hands added more and more pressure. Your breathing got heavier, your small grunts and moans became more vocal. You were so hypnotized by her hands that you didn't notice that she was also lowly moaning. What seemed like suddenly, but was actually quite calm, she bowed her head down once more and kissed your not-sore thigh again and again and again. She released the pressure on your sore thigh then used her hands to slowly spread your legs open as she went back and forth kissing your inner thighs.

She stopped to look up at you, "is this okay?"

"Yess," you breathed.

"Good."

She continued that for a minute with her hands gliding on the outside of your thighs. She scooted closer to the couch to allow her more access. Her kisses crept closer to your center as your breathing got heavier and your heart got faster. Your hand had a mind of its own and landed on the back of her head, fingers tangling in the dark black hair. She hummed in appreciation. Your hand pushed her head closer to your center and she took the opportunity to finally kiss you where you needed her most. You moaned louder than before.

She backed her head away a bit as you let your hand fall, "You sure? I won't be able to stop once I start."

You didnt really think this far, you didn't really know what you were doing but you were sure you wanted her since the first time you saw her in person.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since I saw you for the first time," she admitted, "the way you handle yourself," she kissed your thighs in between sentences, "the way you handle others," another kiss, "the way your eyes sparkle when you look at me," one more kiss, "I knew I needed to get my hands on you as soon as I could."

You finally gain full consciousness, "That's how I felt about you," you moaned, "so yes, Rhea, I'm sure. Please."

"Glad we're on the same page," she took a long deep breath, looked you up and down as if she was ready ravage you in seconds. She placed her hands on the waistband of your shorts, "so... can I take these off?" Her eyes turned dark and her tone sounded like a calmer version of her in-ring voice which made your heart go crazy.

"Yes, please do whatever you need or want, anything, please," you huff.

"So eager," she used her mocking tone as she quickly disposed of your shorts and underwear tossing them away, "whatever you say princess," as she wrapped her buff arms around your legs and pulled you to the edge of the couch.

You yelped at the sudden movement.

"Ooh, such a pretty mess," Rhea cooed.

You groaned at her comment feeling her gently licking the inner most part of your thighs. You adjusted your hips to better her approach and she took the bait. Her tongue took one long swipe over your warm core.

"MMmfuuck," your hand found her head again and pushed her mouth further into you, "yesss."

She hummed into your wet mess making your hips buck at the sensation. Her mouth was working wonders on you as if she's done this a hundred times before. You were rolling your hips into her. Moans falling out of the both of you, her arms trying to hold you still and almost failing, almost.

The pressure inside was quickly rising, you were gripping the life out of the couch cushion hoping to not pull any of her hair out. "Yes fUck....Rheaa," you growled.

Her tongue swiping viciously over your clit, keeping her pace steady, driving herself closer into you. Your moans were getting louder and louder, you were practically screaming, so she released one of your legs and covered your mouth with her hand, but it only made you louder.

She forced her head up, you were dripping off of her chin, "you have to stay quiet beautiful, we don't want someone walking in on us, yeah?" she dropped her hand from your mouth, caressing your cheek.

You huffed at the sudden stop, you were sooo close and now you were frustrated, "mhm, please just... keep going, please"

"I know, I know," she brushed hair out of your face, "but you're just so pretty like this."

"Please, Rhea," you writhed, "I need you, please."

"So needy, my pretty girl."

You almost came just from hearing her say that, but as quickly as you bucked your hips towards her, her hand found your neck and squeezed, "now please, be quiet, princess and I'll give you want you want."

You nodded your head, trying not to fall apart under her, "y-yes ma'am," you squeaked out.

"Good girl," she moaned as she released your neck and gently placed her hand back over your mouth. She winked at you as she bent her head back down to finish the job.

You tried your best to stay quiet and it was extremely hard. "Mmmffffkkk," you pushed out. She continued as you writhed under her tongue. The pressure was quickly rising again, you were shaking into her, one hand gripping the cushion, the other pushing her head further into you, "yyesshhh!!"

The pressure finally released, bucking your hips wildly, moaning as louldy as she allowed you to as she moaned into your center, increasing the pleasure of the release, "FUCKK!!" She continued her magic as you came down from your high.

Slowly lifting her head, "you sound so pretty," she wiped her chin with her thumb, "and you're so hot," she looked at the mess you made on the couch below you, "and so fucking delicious."

You couldn't think or move or speak, all you could do was stare at the superstar and catch your breath.

She slowly backed away and found your shorts. She came back an helped them back on you, "You okay, beautiful?"

"Uh huh," you forced out.

"Good, now let me take you out to eat," she giggled.

[mystical-salamander]

Imagine: Zeb and Kallus have been sparring regularly for months. It has become their thing and something they both look forward to and treasure. But lately Zeb has noticed that Kallus seems to have picked up a handful of sparring buddies that he regularly spar against on top of his usual matches with Zeb. Of course Zeb assumes he must not be enough of a challenge for Kallus. And really it shouldn't hurt as much as it does. It's not like he has a claim on Kallus as a sparring buddy.

In reality, Kallus realized that Zeb was starting to gain the upper hand more often than not during their spars. Which made him worry Zeb would eventually get bored of their matches, as he wouldn't actually face much of a challenge in Kallus. So, Kallus set out to hone his skills to remain a worthy opponent.

Anyway, this is obviously an easily resolved misunderstanding, BUT I do think it's fun because it forces Zeb to consider why in the world Kallus sparring with others feels like some kind of violation of their bond. Like what had he actually been reading into their sparring sessions besides friendly competition?? The whole thing forces Zeb to reevaluate feelings he had previously tried to ignore xbxbx

Meanwhile Kallus is definitely overexerting himself for the sake of trying to improve his skills. He's being a bit of a competitive idiot who does not at any point even stop to question why it matters so much to him xD

Yeeesss!! I'm imagining it and I'm loving it!

Love how they both hold their sparring matches so dearly! So much so, that they're worried about the other replacing them T^T

Honestly the fact that Zeb sorta takes it as Kallus cheating on him has me cackling XD Especially if Kallus was hiding the fact that he had the other sparring partners??? I love that so much, lmao. What about your warrior's bond Kallus??? 😤😤😤 How could you????

Gonna put all my thoughts under a cut cause I think they got too long ;^^

But oouugghh, Zeb thinking that he isn't being enough of a challenge for Kallus. Next time they spar he gives it his all, round after round he beats Kallus, trying to demonstrate that he doesn't need those other sparring partners (all without actually telling him anything or maybe he makes a bitter comment about it/tells Kallus that he found out about it).

Meanwhile Kallus interprets it as him falling behind! Which of course makes him believe that he needs to practice/work even harder! Which, as time goes on, has him exhausted and sore and makes him lose even more of their matches. I could see him explaining away his extra sparring partners as needing to practice against average sized people XD After all, him and Zeb are big guys! It could throw off his fighting in a life or death situation! He tells Zeb that maybe he should find some other sparring partners too (the moment Kallus says this, he hates that he did). And Zeb is offended at the suggestion.

And maybe what really sends Zeb over the edge is that Kallus ends up with a Wookie sparring partner. Him fighting other humans? That stings sure, but nothing Zeb can't get over eventually. But a Wookie?? Surely that means Zeb isn't enough for Kallus anymore, he's getting replaced. He thought Kallus and him were on the same page about how they felt about being sparring buddies, but clearly Kallus doesn't hold it as dearly as he did.

And yeeess!! Zeb reanalyzing their bond!! Wondering why he felt so hurt! Having that OH! moment!!! Yeeeesss!! Could totally see a Spectre being the one to give him that little push to think about why it bothered him after he rants about the situation to them. But the fact that he was trying to ignore those feelings is so good 👌 The way his heart speeds up whenever Kallus gives him a cocky grin, he loves the power he feels when they clash, everything about sparring Kallus is such an exhilarating experience. And Kallus not bothering to analyze it lmao– it'll hit him like a ton of bricks soon I'm sure XD Also I love how seriously he takes it!! He's gonna get a good grade in friendship 😤 An Absolutely normal thing he should want to achieve!

As Kallus is sparring the non-Zeb people, he's notices the lack of spark, it's not as fun or exhilarating as it is with Zeb. He doesn't understand why and he pushes it down since in his mind he's doing this all for Zeb. The spark will return...

Honestly I could totally see it all getting resolved during an explosive argument 👀 Perfect for all the drama! Maybe they're sparring too! 👀 After a while of tension brewing, Zeb invites Kallus to spar and talk, only for it to all start boiling over and that's when Kallus finally manages to trip and pin Zeb on the ground and yell that he did all of this so Zeb wouldn't replace him!

It all goes quiet and their heavy breathing is all that's heard until Zeb furrows his brows and asks Kallus what the hell is he talking about? He was never planning on replacing Kallus, the thought never cross his mind. He thought Kallus was replacing him! He barely even noticed that he had been winning a bunch of their matches, he didn't care, what mattered was that he was with Kallus!

Maybe he shouldn't feel that way and thinking about it now it feels so silly that he felt so betrayed. It was just sparring after all.

He goes quiet, takes a breath trying to relax, and tells Kallus how he's been thinking about him– and them– a lot during this whole thing....

Aaannnnnd... from there I can't decide if Zeb would confess his feelings or if he avoids it and instead tells Kallus that he's alright with Kallus seeking other partners (seeing how Kallus might not make the connection yet? Or maybe he does during their conversation idk!)

And Kallus... well he just feels like an idiot by the end of it, lol. Maybe he starts slowly making the connection there 👀 He's like... wait...

[vieberry]

Neo Egoist: Hellfire Heatwave🔥BASTARD MÜNCHEN EDITION

ｃａｎｏｎｂｏｕｎｄ （ｍｉｎｉｓｅｒｉｅｓ）

Synopsis: In an unexpected mid-season twist, Blue Lock TV (BLTV) rolls out its most unhinged segment yet: The Hellfire Heatwave Challenge. Ten wings. Increasing levels of volcanic pain. Deep personal questions. Zero mercy. Officially, it’s “team bonding.” Unofficially, it’s fanservice at its most sadistic.

Host (offscreen): “Welcome to Hellfire Heatwave! Blue Lock’s own spicy challenge where ego gets tested by scoville units. First up: Bastard München. Let’s see which of these egomaniacs can survive the wings of death… and which ones crumble like soggy fries.”

“The goal? Eat each wing. Answer one personal question per round. Tap out, and you're labeled a Spicy Coward™ for the rest of the Neo Egoist League.”

🌶️ ROUND 1 – Confidence Wing (Mild)

Kaiser: Smirks. “This challenge is beneath me.” Wears no gloves. No napkin. No fear. Leans back like he’s on a throne.

Ness: nods too eagerly. “Ja! Easy.” He already has a napkin in his collar.

Isagi: Quiet. Calculating. Already suspicious.

Yukimiya: “Spicy food clears my pores.”

Raichi: "WEAK. I EAT NAILS AND PEPPERS FOR BREAKFAST." Proceeds to punch his own chest like he’s on pre-workout.

Kurona: Blank stare.

Hiori: “I think this will be fun.” Already has tissues prepared. Just in case.

Kunigami: Crosses arms. Dead serious. Raichi is already trying to compete with him by flexing.

Kiyora: Arms folded. Calm.

Igaguri: Has his hands clasped like he’s about to perform a ritual.

Gagamaru: “I wonder if I can taste colors.” No one knows if he’s joking.

Noel Noa: Hasn’t spoken yet. Everyone’s watching him like a final boss.

Question for Round 1: “Have you ever lied to avoid training?”

Isagi: “Nah. I take every training seriously.” eats the chicken quietly, watching the others.

Kaiser:  Elegantly holds the wing like it’s a wine tasting. He takes a bite. Doesn’t react. Looks smug. “Lying to avoid training? Sounds like something a loser would do.”

Ness: Takes a dainty bite, smiles like he’s modeling for a luxury moisturizer. “I’m not a loser. I don’t skip training.”

Raichi: “YES. OBVIOUSLY. I SAID I HAD A SPRAINED WRIST JUST TO SKIP WEIGHT TRAINING. I HATE WEIGHT TRAINING.” No one even asked him yet.

Gagamaru: “I once said I couldn’t train because I was stuck in a tree... I wasn’t lying.”

Hiori: “...Once. I had a fever. My mom forced me to run laps anyway.”

Noel Noa: Doesn’t speak. Chews with godlike indifference.

Igarashi: …sweating.

🌶️ ROUND 2–4 – False Confidence

Camera zooms in close, Kiyora’s expression hasn’t changed for the past three wings. But sweat beads drip from his jawline like condensation on a sinking ship. His hand is gripping the chair so tightly his knuckles are white.

Cut to a close-up of his legs: twitching. Cut back to his face: stone still.

Kiyora: "...I'm calm."

Ness: Tries to hide tears behind his bangs.

Kurona: chews mechanically. Blinks. “It’s okay.”

Question for Round 4: “What’s your deepest insecurity about your soccer career?”

Kaiser: “…That I’ll never be remembered for anything beyond being dethroned."

Kurona: “…That no matter how smart I play, people will always choose the flashier ones. I’ll never be the headline. Just the one passing the ball.” He doesn’t look up. Just keeps chewing.

Yukimiya: He fans himself with his own wing wrapper. He’s glistening in defeat but still composed. “That I’m already too late.”

Kiyora: “That I’ll never stand out.”

Ness (hiccuping): “I know what everyone thinks. That I’m just… decoration.” His lips are trembling. He wipes his nose with his sleeve like a 5-year-old.

Kunigami: Hasn't spoken. Just nods when asked a question.

Gagamaru: Just stares at the ceiling, chewing.

Noa: He picks up the next wing and adds hot sauce to it manually.

🌶️ ROUND 5 – The Shift

Camera zooms in. Everyone is now visibly affected. Yukimiya’s eyeglasses are slipping down his nose. Ness is hiding behind his wing. Kaiser is trying to sit like a Roman emperor but his pupils are blown and his lip is twitching.

Kiyora: hands visibly shaking

Raichi: coughing mid-scream "BRING IT ONNNN"

Question for Round 5: “Have you ever felt jealous of a teammate’s skills?"

Kaiser: scoffing with a half-laugh, half-choke: “Lions don’t envy sheep.” leans back, smug despite dying “I don’t waste emotions on people I was born to surpass.”

Isagi: blinking through the spice haze: “You’re the lion in the circus.”

Kaiser: jerks forward in rage “WHAT did you just say??”

Ness: wiping his face and sobbing, “Don’t listen to him, Kaiser! he’s wrong! he’s delirious from the capsaicin!”

Hiori: tears in his eyes, whispering “This wing is spicy and so is the emotional violence.”

Noa: Still bored. Still chewing.

Yukimiya: He tries to take a breath, only to choke mid-inhale.

Camera zooms in painfully slow. Kunigami is sitting stiff as a statue. The vein in his forehead is now visible. There’s a single bead of sweat trailing down his temple like it’s doing a walk of shame.

🌶️ ROUND 6–7 – Ego Death Phase

Camera cuts to Hiori. His soul has fully left his body. He’s chewing slowly. In the background, Kurona is casually licking his fingers like he’s eating lunch in the breakroom. The contrast is disturbing.

Question for Round 6: “What’s something egoistic you’ve done that you regret??"

Hiori: deadpanned. "...being born"

Yukimiya: drops his milk. shatters. visible panic.

Ness: crying "Loving Kaiser…"

Raichi: didn't even answered the question “WHO INVENTED THIS DEMON SAUCE??"

Kaiser: “Tch… It’s just food. It’s fine.” He blinks. His whole-body twitches.

Camera zooms in slowly as Isagi takes his third bite. His eyes squint, trying to read the trajectory of his life choices. His lips are glistening red like he just made out with hot sauce itself.

Kurona: "I kind of like it."

Kiyora: taps the table twice. Doesn’t speak. He’s about to quit but refuses. Silent rage.

Gagamaru: “I think I’m tasting the color red.”

Igarashi: taps out, cries in the corner. Says he saw God.

Camera shakes trying to keep up as Raichi throws himself back into his seat mid-chew. He slams both fists on the table. Sauce goes flying. Someone screams in the back.

🌶️ ROUND 8–9 – Chaos Ascends

Next shot: Kiyora staring dead into the distance. He hasn't blinked in two minutes. His breathing is shallow.

Kaiser: "MY TONGUE IS TRYING TO ESCAPE MY BODY." He glares at Isagi like it's his fault. It probably is.

Ness: He sobs into Kaiser’s shoulder. Kaiser shrugs him off.

Gagamaru: starts sniffing the wing. “This smells like my shampoo.”

Camera zooms in as Isagi takes a bite of Wing 8. His eye glows. Literally glows. Either it's his metavision or the ghost pepper oil entering his bloodstream. He mutters to himself between breaths: “Read the field… read the pain… adapt…” Cut to Kaiser, struggling to breathe.

Yukimiya: Methodically chews. His eyes are locked on the table. He looks like he’s staring at the concept of time itself.

Raichi: He attempts to dab his face with a napkin and accidentally punches himself in the eye.

Camera cuts in from a low angle. Hiori is leaning forward, elbows on table, his lips are trembling. His eyes are glassy. There’s a single trail of hot sauce rolling down his chin.

Hiori: “I think I’m going to cry. But not because of the spice. Just... everything.” He blinks. The wing falls from his hand.

Cut to Raichi screaming in the background. Hiori doesn’t react.

Kiyora: Camera pans slowly to a single tear rolling down his cheek.

Ness: There’s sauce on his chin, his hands, and somehow his neck. He reaches for Kaiser’s sleeve again. Kaiser moves away.

Noa: Still at peace. "Over fermented chili. Lacks depth."

Everyone else: Suffering.

🔥 ROUND 10 – The Last Dab

Camera zooms in. Dead center. Noel Noa hasn’t flinched once in 35 minutes. His posture hasn’t changed. The wing in his hand is balanced perfectly like he’s about to do surgery, not eat. The LED lights flash red behind him. The spice count is rising.

Noa: quietly “Too slow. You’re all too slow.” 

The camera shakes. The lens itself seems scared.

Kaiser (hoarse): “It’s fine. It’s fine. I feel nothing—” He starts laughing, then choking mid-laugh. Slams fist on table.

Isagi: Chews slowly. Determined. Every movement deliberate like he’s chasing something only he can see. He’s got tears in his eyes.

Raichi: “WHY IS THE INSIDE OF MY NOSE ON FIRE???” Screams. He starts punching the air. No one is surprised.

Ness: Takes the tiniest bite. IMMEDIATELY starts crying. “I HAVE TO FINISH IT, RIGHT??? I HAVE TO PROVE I’M WORTHY??” Kaiser is too far gone to answer.

Hiori: “I’m not okay. But I accept it.” He looks straight into the camera with the calm of a man descending into madness. He stops eating.

Kurona: Doesn’t even flinch at first. Just blinks. Eats the whole wing. Five seconds later: “…Im done, done!”

Kiyora: Just straight up cries.

Kunigami: Takes it like a man. Stares straight ahead. Chews. Swallows. “Pain is nothing to me.”

Gagamaru: “Look. One of them is crying.”

Noa (quietly): “It’s… warm.” He nods once. “Good training.”

Final Survivors: Isagi, Kaiser, Kurona, Kunigami, Gagamaru, and... Noel Noa

🎤 CONFESSIONAL CAMS:

Ness: sobbing “I think I saw my ancestors. One of them told me to stop chasing Kaiser and start chasing peace.” He wipes his eyes. “...I don’t know if I can do that.”

Kaiser: His lips are bright red, his hair is damp, and there is definitely the faint outline of a tear streak down one cheek. “It wasn’t even that hot. I just… closed my eyes for a second. To savor the flavor. That’s all.”

Isagi: Still sniffing. Looks like a man who just fought for his life and barely won. “I knew the spice would be bad.”

Gagamaru: “...Kinda tastes like fire ants. Not bad.”

Kurona: “...It’s good, good.”

Yukimiya: Still fanning himself with a silk pocket square. “I may have sobbed... but I did it gracefully.”

Hiori: “I’m not even mad. I just… need to rest.”

Raichi: Screaming directly at the camera. “I conquered the fire. I AM THE FIRE.”

Kunigami: “I feel nothing. These wings are just like life. Spicy, meaningless, and kind of repetitive.”

Igaguri: “The power of God left my body around Wing #6.” He sniffs violently.

Kiyora: “I didn’t suffer. I endured.” he says that like he’s convincing himself

Noel Noa: sits in silence. the untouched glass of milk glows beside him like a cursed artifact. “The spice was adequate.” Beat. “Pain is part of growth.” Beat. “But I did enjoy watching them all fall apart.”

🏆 RESULTS:

Most Pathetic aka Spicy Coward™: Gurimu Igarashi Most Likely To See God: Ness Most Likely To Be God: Noel Noa Most Terrifyingly Unaffected: Gagamaru Most Petty Under Fire: Michael Kaiser Winner by Unholy Willpower: Isagi, Kunigami, and somehow... Kurona???

🔥 Up Next: PXG and the French Sauce of Doom

Will Loki’s squad survive truffle-infused ghost peppers? Will Rin cry? Will Shidou bite someone??

Stay tuned for the next episode of Hellfire Heatwave. Ego never tasted so painful.

[phantomofthemountain]

Your boy has begun learning quads!!!

•ﻌ•𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯⋆ᓚᘏᗢ⋆♡⋆ᗢᘏᓗ⋆𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯•ﻌ•

Honestly, I never thought I'd be the type of therian that preforms Quadrobics. For a while I honestly thought quads were cringy and a surefire way of determining someone's validity as a nonhuman. But, as I've done more research and saw the joy it brought other Nonhumans, I began to feel jealous. They all look so free, happy, and confident. I wanted to be like them

•ﻌ•𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯⋆ᓚᘏᗢ⋆♡⋆ᗢᘏᓗ⋆𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯•ﻌ•

The problem, though, is that I have unmedicated chronic pain. Even just laying in bed is painful if I don't constantly flip myself around like rolling hotdog. So, I never really entertained the idea of doing quads all that much. Instead, I daydreamed about what it would feel like to be on all fours, to be feral.

But, for the past month or so, I've been getting better at understanding that, no matter what I do, I will always be in pain. And if I want to have any sort of quality of life, I need to learn how to be okay with that. I can't just rot in bed all the time as a way to avoid being in even worse pain, you know? If I have to be in pain, at least it's on MY terms.

•ﻌ•𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯⋆ᓚᘏᗢ⋆♡⋆ᗢᘏᓗ⋆𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯•ﻌ•

So, today I finally made the decision to begin learning Quadrobics. I set a bunch of rules to make sure I don't push myself too far or do something that could lead me to injury. I must stretch, hydrate, and asses my pain/energy levels before I even THINK of my front paws touching the floor.

I watched a bunch of different tutorials, stretched, and began learning how to walk. And it was... Interesting. I won't lie, it was extremely fun and affirming. But, it was also really scary and exhaustive. I underestimated how difficult it would be. I was unbalanced, my posture was all off, it was hard to breathe, and the whole time I felt like I was just falling. Just 30 seconds of walking was exhausting. I would do one lap around my basement, and pause for a few minutes to catch my breath. Then do another loop.

In total, I believe I completed about 10 loops today, and improved each time. But, there is still a LOT of learning and improvement I need to do. It's probably gonna take me a few months to feel confident and comfortable in my walk. I need to learn how to adjust my speed, to trust that I won't fall, to position myself more comfortably so I can breathe properly, and allow myself to slowly get into things so my heart doesn't explode lol

•ﻌ•𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯⋆ᓚᘏᗢ⋆♡⋆ᗢᘏᓗ⋆𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯•ﻌ•

All-in-all I am excited to start this journey and to have a new way to express my alterhumanity! It's gonna be a very slow process of building muscle, memory, rhythm, and posture. But, I feel hopeful! My pain/discomfort levels are good, and I feel excited to do more!

I don't know if I'm ever going to post videos of me doing quads as I do not have a mask and would like to remain anonymous. But, if you all find this interesting I may document my journey here through text!

•ﻌ•𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯⋆ᓚᘏᗢ⋆♡⋆ᗢᘏᓗ⋆𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯•ﻌ•

Anyway! (Unrelated rambles ahead) I know this post is longer than my usual, so, if you've read this far.. thank you! I've never been super good at summarizing my thoughts, and I'm not sure if anyone even reads these beyond the header. But, it's fun to write regardless! I enjoy letting you all in on this side of my life, and I'm incredibly thankful for the community we have here. I love you all and am once again so happy to be back! I have another long post coming in very soon and I hope y'all like it!

[letloverule1111]

FanFic Share "Challenge"--What are the last 5 fanfics you've read that you LOVE?

HI--this is my post from reddit...sharing it here because I really want to know what y'all are reading!

I'm always looking to discover wonderful fanfics and I soooooo many fics that I love have come from suggestions here! So I want to play a fun "challenge" (challenge isn't really the right word for this but we're going to use it anyway, k?)

HERE'S WHAT TO DO:

Go to your History

Starting from your most recent read scroll back and note fanfics you've LOVED...(meaning, if in your 5 most recent fics you've read you've only truly LOVED 3 of them then keep scrolling back until you have 5!)

When you have 5 of them, list them/link them here!

I'll start!!!

Just Like North by anincompletelist (soldouthaz) This is a Maze Runner au. I have personally never read or watched Maze Runner but trust me, the writing and story telling is SO GOOD that it won't matter. If you like dystopic future/badass Alex fics YOU WILL LOVE THIS!

love thorns all over this rose by theprinceandagcd  @theprinceandagcd HOLY SHIT. This fic killed me in all the best ways. The writing is amazing. It will tear your heart apart before it is put back together so if you like angst, READ THIS IMMEDIATELY. Alex thinks he's incapable of being a good boyfriend due to a past experience--together with his "not good enough" stuff this is a potent combo. So when he hooks up with Henry, he makes it clear it is just sex and friendship...of course, Alex is a tortured soul...you guys--this fic is so good and my summary is lame...just trust me--EXCELLENT.

all i wanted (was you) by ksmalltalk Author's summary: It's been nearly a decade since exes Henry and Alex have last seen or heard from each other. After one unexpected night of reuniting thanks to the meddling of their mutual friend, the pair find that neither time nor circumstance can stop their flame from rekindling. With the complications of Henry's marriage to another man and his scheduled return to London looming, the two must navigate life's difficulties as they grapple with what a possible future could mean for them. NOTE: the epilogue hasn't been posted yet but no reason to think it won't be. This is a reliable poster. AND even if the epilogue never gets posted, the story is complete and SO SO SO WORTH READING!

With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest) by kiwiana  @kiwiana-writes Dare I say, one of the absolute best fics in our fandom. This is actually a re-read I did. Author's summary: Alex is a former child star struggling to make the transition into being seen as a serious actor. He jumps at an opportunity to perform on stage in the UK, seeing it as a way to break free from the typecasting and show what he can really do. But he wasn’t prepared to star alongside someone he hates. // Henry is a recent theatre graduate who accepts an amazing role in a queer reimagining of Much Ado About Nothing. And then it turns out his co-star is none other than the man he’s been hopelessly pining after for years—even though Henry made a terrible first impression when they met. // It’s… well, it’s practically Shakespearean.

Breathing In, Breathing Out by smc_27 One of the best writers in our fandom, I believe. Author's summary: He can’t believe just when he started to get the sense he actually knew what he was doing, Henry would pull this. Like, as far as Alex knows he hasn’t done anything wrong. He’s on time for dates and he calls when he says he will. He remembers what Henry likes to eat and what his favourite drink is. He doesn’t watch movies alone that he thinks will be fun to watch together. He tries not to be distracting when they’re supposed to be studying.

He’s been thinking of Henry as his boyfriend in his head for like two weeks now.

Worrying Henry’s been lying about how much he likes this - how much he likes Alex - fucking hurts.

Okay! I can't wait to see what you've been reading (that you love)!!!! Yay! Thanks for playing!

BONUS--CURRENT READ IS

Bluebonnets and Polo Mallets by Chamel. @cha-melodius. Another one of the best writers in the fandom. Fic is a WIP but WILL get posted to completion. If you ever wanted to know what would happen when Polo player, Henry, and Rodeo star, Alex, meet up...this is your fic. SO GOOD!

[remcadll]

Gen obsessed with how.. *dead* your Jason's color pallete is. Like, that's corpse pale right there. Not a spec of blood left flowing in there (also father Todd's skin being full of color in comparison is a nice touch)

THANK YOU I love making him look a bit ghoulish. Guy who's not supposed to be alive but yes he is. no he isn't <3

[bennetsbonnet]

Much has been made of Mr Darcy's "confession" to Elizabeth that he does not converse easily with strangers. It is repeatedly used to support neurodivergent interpretations of his character. And I suppose that when taken at face value, a character confessing that they do not easily converse with strangers and struggle to catch their tone or appear interested in conversation can absolutely scream AUTISM! (I say as an autistic person myself)

But this line is often taken in isolation. When considered in terms of the passage in which it appears in Chapter 31, it appears far less of a smoking gun than may initially be suspected. After some discussion about Elizabeth and Darcy's prior acquaintance in Hertfordshire, Colonel Fitzwilliam asks Elizabeth for information about Darcy's behaviour there. She readily supplies it:

'Pray let me hear what you have to accuse him of,' cried Colonel Fitzwilliam. 'I should like to know how he behaves among strangers.' 'You shall hear then—but prepare yourself for something very dreadful. The first time of my ever seeing him in Hertfordshire, you must know, was at a ball—and at this ball, what do you think he did? He danced only four dances, though gentlemen were scarce; and, to my certain knowledge, more than one young lady was sitting down in want of a partner. Mr Darcy, you cannot deny the fact.' 'I had not at that time the honour of knowing any lady in the assembly beyond my own party.'

What Darcy leaves out here is that it was he himself who chose not to be introduced to anybody. As we learn from the description of his behaviour at the Meryton assembly in Chapter 3:

Mr Darcy danced only once with Mrs Hurst and once with Miss Bingley, declined being introduced to any other lady, and spent the rest of the evening in walking about the room, speaking occasionally to one of his own party.

Anyway, Elizabeth correctly does not buy his excuses. Not only does she respond with a cutting sarcastic remark, but she tries to bring the discussion with an end by speaking to Colonel Fitzwilliam:

'True; and nobody can ever be introduced in a ball-room. Well, Colonel Fitzwilliam, what do I play next? My fingers wait your orders.'

But Darcy does not get the hint and continues conversing with Elizabeth rather than quitting while he's ahead. However, I don't believe him to be missing a social cue here. Rather, this is an exceedingly conceited man who cannot conceive that anyone would not want to speak to such a Superior Being as he and more-so, is determined to defend himself from a perceived slight against his impeccable character.

Then we come to the passage containing the oft-cited line which allegedly contains proof of his neurodivergency:

'Perhaps,' said Darcy, 'I should have judged better, had I sought an introduction; but I am ill-qualified to recommend myself to strangers.' 'Shall we ask your cousin the reason of this?' said Elizabeth, still addressing Colonel Fitzwilliam. 'Shall we ask him why a man of sense and education, and who has lived in the world, is ill-qualified to recommend himself to strangers?' 'I can answer your question,' said Fitzwilliam, 'without applying to him. It is because he will not give himself the trouble.'

Once again, Elizabeth does not buy his excuse for even a single second. She's fully aware of all the advantages a man such as he will have received in society (opportunities not open to women, might I add!) and draws attention to that fact. It's a brilliant, cutting line from her and she really set that one up for Colonel Fitzwilliam to deliver the knockout blow.

Not only do we have the testimony of Mr Darcy's cousin, that 'he will not give himself the trouble,' to appear cordial to strangers, but we have evidence from Wickham too. Although after this statement, Wickham quickly goes onto misrepresent Darcy's kindness to the poor, which contradicts Mrs Reynold's later testimony, I do believe Wickham to be telling the truth (for once!) here, when he tells Elizabeth in Chapter 16:

'Mr Darcy can please where he chooses. He does not want abilities. He can be a conversible companion if he thinks it worth his while.'

Which, again, demonstrates that Darcy is capable when he wants to be. That is the crucial point. Autistic people fundamentally lack the ability to understand social cues, they cannot turn it on and off as they please because they are snobs.

So, now we come to the infamous line about Darcy's supposed social struggles, and I hope that I've provided enough context to the line to make you see that it should not be taken at face value:

'I certainly have not the talent which some people possess,' said Darcy, 'of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done.' 'My fingers,' said Elizabeth, 'do not move over this instrument in the masterly manner which I see so many women’s do. They have not the same force or rapidity, and do not produce the same expression. But then I have always supposed it to be my own fault—because I will not take the trouble of practising. It is not that I do not believe my fingers as capable as any other woman’s of superior execution.'

Again, Elizabeth is not buying his excuses for even a single second and tells him if he feels like that, maybe he should put the effort in. She has seen him in numerous social settings and been thoroughly unimpressed with his behaviour which, when you consider his rudeness to her at the Meryton assembly, she has every right to be.

So, what do I make of the line?

Well, I think it's abundantly clear that Darcy absolutely can speak to people when he wants to. Perhaps, in his mind, he struggles to make that deeper connection and make friends easily. But making friends is not always easy, it's a process you must invest time and effort into. If you do not do that, it stands to reason that you will struggle. Plus, if you hold others to ridiculous standards (as Darcy does) without recognising and fixing the flaws within yourself, you're not going to have deep, lasting friendships.

While this quote may appear to be a moment of vulnerability where he does confess a fault of his, which is astounding given his pride, personally I do not think it was not a soul-searching exercise. It was to make Elizabeth stop grilling him. It was self-serving. Although, I don't think he's entirely lying. Darcy is veeeery careful with his words and though this statement is not considered and perhaps comes out rather abruptly, it doesn't necessarily follow that it isn't true. I can imagine that it is probably something he's felt for a while, yet it is a rather desperate attempt to defend himself from a woman who sees right through him.

I think perhaps Darcy does realise that he isn't as naturally gifted as other men he knows (such as Wickham, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr Bingley) when it comes to forming acquaintances. However, he looks outwards and turns that bitterness against the world rather than looking inwards, reflecting upon himself and improving his manners which would be the correct thing to do. Thankfully, he later does this, but it took him twenty eight years...

In addition, Darcy appeared to have been under the illusion that he could coast by on Pemberley's reputation... which has always worked... until he met Elizabeth. For perhaps the first time, he encounters a woman who is not awestruck by him and his reputation and delivers the rebuke that he always needed.

So, while personally I'm inclined to believe there is some truth to his statement, as Mr Darcy is many things but he isn't a liar, I think it is said in desperation. His feeling stems from him knowing what he should do, but he can't be bothered to enact it... rather than any inherent social deficiency stemming from being neurodivergent.

Although, even if he does struggle socially, it's still no excuse for the rudeness he displayed to Elizabeth! My main issue with neurodivergent readings of Darcy is when they are deployed to defend his behaviour, when they attribute his rudeness to any potential neurodivergency and when they excuse his laziness. That is an awful message! Autistic people who struggle with social cues often do not, nor should they, go around insulting others. They should and often do put plenty of effort into being considerate and polite. In fact, I think, if anything, a love of rules makes us more likely to have good manners, rather than the reverse.

Ultimately, I'm not sure this line makes Mr Darcy the sympathetic-poor-sweet-innocent-shy-boy-autistic-representation that people want him to be. In fact it makes him look even worse, if anything. On matters such as these, he is every inch the conceited proud man he was widely believed to be at the Meryton assembly. Luckily, Elizabeth is an incredibly smart woman, who doesn't fall for it and immediately calls him out on his behaviour in a way that he has never experienced before. As she should!

[returnofahsoka]

season five, here be dragons (and also some narrative dissonance)

[ ] dad can you pick us up this sleepover is lame

[ ] i have no respect for these bitches. they just called master splinter an "it"

[ ] ooookay that's a ridiculous power upscaling. i'm not sure that will be good for the narrative. love the glowing designs tho.

[ ] also. am i really supposed to be invested in this larger-than-life conflict where the turtles are nothing more than pawns in a game? am i supposed to care more about this new all-powerful shredder than about karai, a fallible human girl taking up her father's mantle, a girl whose relationship to the turtles is laced with betrayal and tragedy? am i supposed to think the world this evil would bring could be somehow worse than the world we have seen in same as it never was? am i supposed to feel like this is their greatest enemy yet and that it could hurt them worse than the way leo was already punishing himself?

[ ] sorry that was all i needed to get out of my system, now back to enjoying the story

[ ] rodents of unusual size? i don't think they exist-

[ ] oh these nightmares splinter keeps seeing. about finding his sons' dead bodies. too late to save them. this is cruel. and then he wakes up and looks around and they are there in the room with him, sleeping

[ ] love when the others are like Special Mystic Weapon Attack and leo, who does not have a special mystic weapon and has to take on demons with two regular swords, is just like okay you know what that's it. summoning a huge fuck ass dragon as we speak

[ ] the dragon is fitting for leo though. and his brothers are so proud and excited!

[ ] oh! back to new york. good. thank you. fucking finally.

[ ] the turtle taxi!! i swear his inventions are getting more and more unhinged. and also more fun

[ ] they were the ones to free the mystics, they were the ones to set the events in motion. of course, they were manipulated, played, used as tools. but they did it to save donnie. their love for their brother was used against them and against the world.

[ ] "ah the little kappa" lol. lmao even.

[ ] they ARE all dragons! i knew it. they are brothers after all, cut of the same cloth, shaped from the same matter.

[ ] not saying i'm a big fan of the designs of the dragons themselves, they could have more of a japanese look, but i do appreciate that even though the brothers look very similar in this iteration, these avatars of theirs are all unique! thats neat!

[ ] and! i just caught this! their dragon forms are still turtle-shaped! they have shells!

[ ] also. irrelevant tiny design choice that i love anyway in this season is that splinter has this straw hat and when he's not wearing it, it just hangs on his back and that makes him kinda look like he has a turtle shell as well. and i just. fucking love that.

[ ] oh god oh god baby turtles alert

[ ] oh they are so small and they need a hug from their dad when they get scared and they need him to sleep with them in case the monsters come

[ ] "way to go dad!!" end me right here

[ ] "you saved me? but why?" "if it were up to me i might not have. but four guys i care for very much seemed to think there's something about you worth saving"

[ ] "high-three, raphie boy!!"

[ ] insane that the creepy dark forest in ancient japan that splinter's been seeing in his nightmares is actually just. central park.

[ ] and the nightmares are becoming real let's fucking goooooo

[ ] oooooof not good

[ ] oh splinter i'm so sorry. never before have i seen him as this much of a regular guy, this much of just a dad, as now. as he's running through the forest in a panic, as he's crying out for his children, as he's losing them-

[ ] oh god. they summoned master yoshi. they did that, the four of them, to save their dad. they summoned the only person who could save splinter. the hamatos are at it again!!!!!!

[ ] man i'm so gonna love rewatching this show one day

that's wrap on season 1, here's some highlights from my notes app

[  ] they are fifteen???? like i know i'm aware the title goes teenage mutant ninja turtles but oh my god???

[  ] "poor choice raphael"

[  ] gosh. they were so tiny.

[  ] "how many times have i told you not to sneak up to the surface?" "this month or-"

[  ] teenage boy activities

[  ] i live for splinter's fake japanes proverbs

[  ] "whoever lives here just made the mistake of snatching one of ours" "and we'll level this whole city to get him back" yooooooooo

[  ] the shredder strikes back and tales of leo. what banger episodes. this is exactly what i was talking about babes.

[  ] he is their foundation! their rock to lean on and steady themselves!! the one to lead them home!!!!!!

[  ] love a symbolic rebirth through forging a new weapon ngl

[  ] donatello got his hands on a giant rocket launcher. run.

[  ] "i can finish this, raph" "i know. but where's the fun in that?"

[  ] aaaaaaaand now we got the aliens. scully you're not gonna believe this

[  ] this was such a BUSY season

[lunaryhues]

What is Rayman? Well, he's a thingamajig. Next question.

(I got attached to my Betilla design)

[cheese-water]

All I'll say is if Pili has zero defenders on the realm then Tina is DEAD

[Transcription]

Pili: You know what Tina?

Tina: What.

Pili: You may be– you may be his apprentice right now but I'm gonna show him that I will be the better apprentice and he's gonna dump you and then he's gonna choose me.

Tina: Well he doesn't give a shit about you Pili. I was there I saw it [scoffs].

Aimsey: [From a distance] Oh my god what is fucking wrong with you both?

Pili: *gasp* How dare you say those words!

Aimsey: Guys... guys–

Tina: He knows what you did to Ros. He doesn't care about you.

Pili: [Walks away] Okay but maybe Ros deserved it... Wait I shouldn't say that in front of Aimsey. Wait! Don't shoot me!

Tina: What?

Pili: I– (laughs) It was evil Pili taking over! Don't shoot me don't kill me.

Tina: [talking over him] Hey. Ay ay– You leave the wet cat alone. He– (laughs) it just rained. He's feeling extra damp.

Pili: (sniffles) Oh no... oh no... [unclear]

Tina: But that was– That was old Pili right?

Pili: [changes demeanor] Yeah that was old Pili. That was not me.

Tina: That's not the new Pili. [shakes her head in front of Aimsey and pauses] Does Clown know?

Pili: Yes! I think so.

Tina: [nods her head and walks away]

Pili: Aimsey are you upset at me? I feel– Tina! Did I say something wrong?

Tina: I don't think you said anything.

[addicted-to-the-knife]

I finally had the chance to watch the Boston panel.

and I'm starting to think that a lot of you either haven't watched it yourselves, or were so set on specific opinions you personally have, while also having clear expectations of what their answers will be, that with their answers (or what are talked about as their answers) made you so unhappy that now you're just bashing them; especially Hugh.

why, though? none of the things I've seen people complain about were actually said like that or fully implied. so... what? doesn't make sense to me why some of you are so upset about this panel. it was so much fun and just lighthearted entertainment. panels like that are the reason these things exist and are usually so much fun in the first place.

[miitopiaenjoyer]

Their Pokémon Mystery Dungeons AU would be legendary, honestly...

I think that in a PMD Explorers of Sky adjacent situation, Chat would be the protagonist and Magical John would be the partner character. Chat would wake up on the beach with amnesia and see Magical John passed out next to them. They poke him with a stick and when it turns out he's alive, they initially assume he's in the same situation as they are. But it turns out he just got mugged by the Team Skull equivalent for his Relic Fragment, and his memories are totally intact, lol.

They'd have to talk to Cupcake on Magical John's behalf to help him join the guild because everyone's too afraid of him to hear him out when he tries to ask alone, lmao.

Cupcake would be the cheerful Guild Deputy, and I Want Die would be the intimidating Guild Leader that everyone but Cupcake is afraid to talk to. He looks scary, but he's actually really caring and compassionate on the inside! And the other Miitopia party members would be the guild ensemble! :D

Jefferson would be a Piplup, of course, and I think Gilbert would be an Impidimp. Not sure about the rest. Lemme know if any of you have any ideas! :)

Transcript of the third image's text under the cut!

[TRANSCRIPT:]

IMAGE 3:

Chat: Hey. Can we join your guild?

Cupcake: Um... I'll need to ask I Want Die...

[matteoberrettini]

genuinely hilarious btw how people on twt want soo bad to make matteo a villain in jannik's story or some shit like it's a disney movie. less than a month ago he said they'd talked recently and he's never had anything but good things to say about jannik but to some people it'll never be enough because he made a decision for his career that i understand is hard to digest but it has nothing to do with his relationship with jannik, jannik himself said it doesn't bother him, they both have never indicated they weren't on good terms. like yeah we can't ever really know the truth behind what they say in public, but i think we should stick with what we can see and read, yeah? because making wild assumptions based on nothing doesn't lead to anything good, it's just speculation and i don't see what anyone gains from it?? i think maybe some people need to grow up and accept that they don't know these people. they don't know jannik and what he thinks or feels or who he talks to or who avoids him or whatever. we know what he shows and tells us and that has to be enough because otherwise we go down dangerous paths

[gen-is-gone]

This is perhaps bitchy and uncharitable and certainly almost a year late to really be complaining about but fuck it, we complain anyway.

Yes, I am still unreasonably upset about Sutekh clinging to the side of the TARDIS since The Pyramids of Mars, and upset because I was sort of foolishly hoping we might get some actual characterization fallout from that addressed properly this series, which of course isn't going to happen. And the reason I'm upset about it while it seems fairly few people care all that much is because it's a litmus test for the degree to which any given person sees the TARDIS as a character in her own right. And it's fairly obvious now that rtd doesn't, or at least, only does when it suits him.

Because the thing is, if the TARDIS is a character, is a person, then the manner in which Sutekh uses and usurps her, and the ambiguity in whether it was consensual ('seduction' vs 'coercion') becomes extremely important to the Doctor and the TARDIS's relationship, and the TARDIS's characterization as a whole, both going forward and echoing back. Like bearing in mind that what actually happened is so ambiguous, what Sutekh being 'there the whole time' even fucking means, that trying to pull a point out of it is almost an exercise in futility from the jump, but to borrow some wildly inadequate or perhaps even inappropriate language, it's the difference between whether the TARDIS has been cheating on the Doctor for more than half the length of their entire relationship, or whether she'd been being (sorry) raped that whole time and the Doctor just hadn't noticed.

And yeah, evidently it was too much for me to hope that there would ever be any kind of real emotional or plot-relevant followup about that, because, again, that requires you to see the TARDIS as a character whose choices and emotions and relationships matter beyond their immediate relevance to the plot. And this isn't new by any goddamn means. This isn't actually the usual split between the traditionalist and the avant-garde camps. The TARDIS's sapience and autonomy do not begin with The Doctor's Wife; this is established (more or less) in The Edge of Destruction, the third ever serial in the history of the show, all the way back in nineteen sixty-fucking-four.

And y'know, yes, it would still be a big deal if Sutekh jumped on in Wild Blue Yonder (as would make way more logical sense) rather than Pyramids; the ambiguity of consent that the show either doesn't care or lacks the stomach to address would still be a blow, but it wouldn't have the unutilized capacity to fundamentally alter the relationship between the two longest-running characters in the franchise if it was the span of a season, rather than thousands of years in-universe and nearly five decades in real life. And not to be conspiratorial or assume categorical bad faith on rtd's part, but yeah, it's hard not see that particular unnecessary detail as a petty response to Moffat and Chibnall's own continuity-and-paradigm-altering retcons, and an attempt to get his own shot in.

And it's just. Never gonna get talked about, huh. 'Cause it doesn't actually matter, right? 'Cause it's not like the TARDIS is really a person, right?

[sacchiri]

Hellsing 2002 calendar illustration.

Ein wunderliche und erschröckliche Hystori von einem großen Wüttrich genant Dracole wayda Der do so ganz unkristenliche marrter hat angelegt die mensche, als mit spissen als auch die leut zu Tod geslyffen

A wondrous and frightening story about a great berserk called Dracula the voivode who inflicted such unchristian tortures such as with stakes and also dragged people to death