#anyway context: My grandmother kicked me and my family out of her house in -1⁰ bc?? fuck knows!

[bxnyi]

[svtskneecaps]

Number 17

Vernon Chwe x (gender netural) reader

Words: 5048

Genre: fluff, some pining (does pining count as angst?)

neighbor! childhood friend! aus

you’re feeling the summer listlessness. vernon helps you find something to do

day 35 of a tct summer collab

(holy shit guys i’ve been excited to post this since like, MAY holy shit i hope y’all enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it)

(my masterlist)

You shot him a text. Very simple.

vernon i’m going crazy

He shot a text back. Very simple.

why

why do you think? you ask. i don’t know what to do

it’s summer, he says, you can do anything. for example, i’m lying in bed enjoying myself

it’s 1 pm

it’s summer

Who are you to argue with that?

i’m still going crazy. you might be able to stay in bed all day but i’m gonna go insane

so find something to do

i can’t, you say, because it’s true.

all year you were listing hundreds of things you would do when you got the time

i know, you say, i know. but it’s like, now i have the time, but i just feel paralyzed. i don’t know what to do

And you wait for a response and none comes for long enough that you worry you said something that was too weird even for him, but then your screen goes dark and your phone buzzes and his contact is on screen. You answer and his messy bedhead fills your screen.

“You want me to decide?” he asks, and his voice is rough like he just woke up.

“Sure,” you say.

“Try baking something,” he says. “Like chocolate chip cookies or a pie or something.”

“You’re just saying that because you want to eat it.”

“Absolutely,” he mumbles, face still half buried in his pillow. “I can grab a quick shower and come over just in time for the taste test.”

You snicker. “No way, you don’t have the palette for a taste test.”

“Alright, then I’ll put them in the oven and we’ll hit up a couple friends and force them to try it.”

And. . . honestly that doesn’t sound half bad. It’s been five days since you saw anyone outside your immediate family--which is suffocating in its loneliness, after the routine closeness of the year--and maybe that’ll make you feel less paralyzed.

“Okay,” you say.

True to his word, Vernon’s over within thirty minutes, leaning his bike up against yours in the garage. He handles the oven for you, although not without teasing you about the time you burned yourself on the top of the oven while taking out your grandma’s angel food cake at Christmas.

“Well at least I helped you remember how coordinates work,” you say, because you both knew that was the reason you two learned whether to move on the x or y axis so much faster than your classmates.

“At least I know how to keep my skin intact,” he shoots back.

While taking the tray out of the oven he very nearly blisters his thumb and drops the tray; after securing the tray’s safety and running cold water over the blister, once your heartbeat returns to something acceptable, you inform him that instead of cookies he’ll be eating his words, to which he responds with, “At least my words taste good,” and you snap him with the towel. He flicks water at you, and only the fear of having even more to clean up keeps you from starting all out war. You tell him to bring his swimsuit over tomorrow, though. There’s mischief in his eyes as he agrees.

You each balance a tupperware of cooled cookies on your handlebars as you coast through the neighborhood, knocking on doors and handing them out to friends and friends’ parents. Minghao takes three. Seungkwan’s mother trades you two bottles of water, fresh from the fridge, for a cookie and first dibs on the next batch. She takes another one and says it’s to give to Seungkwan when he gets home from acting camp, but winks when she says it. You snap Seungkwan the picture of his mom with the cookie, and he snaps back a picture of himself and Jun making dorky faces demanding you save a few for them because make no mistake we will be swinging by your house when we’re done for the day and we expect cookies you two!

Jeonghan and Joshua aren’t home, but you find them all hanging out in Seungcheol’s pool. Jeonghan asks why you aren’t selling your cookies. “Because this is the taste test,” Vernon says. “We’ll be getting you hooked on this batch and then start charging ten bucks on the next round.” Jeonghan praises your business sense and takes a bite out of Seungcheol’s cookie while he isn’t looking. Seungcheol tackles him into the pool and you leave before the ensuing splash fight can get the cookies wet.

True to their word, Jun pulls into the driveway with Seungkwan in the passenger’s seat and Mingyu in the backseat (they must’ve agreed to carpool with Mingyu after his cooking workshop), and you get nervous because Mingyu’s going to college for baking and everyone knows that out of the group Mingyu is the best cook, but Vernon presents him with a cookie no hesitation and Mingyu tells you they’re amazing, and Vernon gives you this smile as if to say, see, nothing to worry about.

Wednesday, Vernon comes over with his swimsuit and you make a pair of rudimentary signs for a car wash out of an old cardboard box. His is very simple, bubble letters with the address and CAR WASH in all caps. You tried to get a little creative with yours.

“I love it,” Vernon says, crouched next to you as you hover over your sign. “You can almost hear the cloud cow saying ‘graphic design is my passion’.”

You push his shoulder hard enough that he topples over, laughing. “It’s supposed to be a soapy car!”

He’s so proud of himself for that joke that he suggests you start a car wash company instead of going to college. “You can call it Clean Mooters,” he says, as you’re filling your buckets.

You blast him with the hose and he laughs so hard he snorts.

You spend the day covered in soap and water, spraying Vernon with the hose if there isn’t a car to wash and shrieking and trying to dance around behind him every time he gets the hose from you. When the cars stop coming you pack up shop, uprooting the signs and taking them inside, tossing them in the recycling bin.

Thursday it’s raining outside. Vernon comes over anyway. You call him an idiot. “Don’t you know the rain’ll rust your bike?”

He shrugs with a half smile, shrugging off a raincoat that now has a strip of mud up the back where his tires kicked up the dirty street water. “There’s only a hundred and four days of summer vacation,” he says. “I didn’t want to miss one.”

You seize his coat and toss it in the sink, bowing your head to scrub off the mud so he doesn’t see how red your cheeks have become.

You play Mario Kart on the Wii for most of the day (Vernon hits you with a red shell right before you cross the finish line; you hip check him off Rainbow Road), and even as out of practice as the both of you have become over the school year, you’re still pretty well matched. By the time you get bored with that, your mom has texted to say she’s going to need to stay at work a little longer and you might be on your own for dinner. That’s fine, you and Vernon try out a recipe for lasagna that you found on a food blog (buried under the woman’s lengthy story of the time her husband nearly got stomped by a cow. “It’s a sign,” Vernon says, “Clean Mooters is your true calling.” You’d hit him if you weren’t very carefully adding a layer of sauce).

It’s still raining when Vernon has to leave. You stand there, just outside the cover of the garage, watching Vernon shrug on his raincoat.

“You’re gonna get soaked,” he says.

“You say that like I care,” you say, rain beginning to drip down your hair.

He steps out of the garage then, too, standing next to you. You turn your face to the sky, closing your eyes against the heavy drops that splatter against your cheeks.

“You’re gonna catch your death.”

“Says the guy who’s wearing a raincoat with the hood down.” You shove his chest without looking. He catches your hands. You look down.

Your eyes meet.

Vernon drops your hands and coughs. You reach up to brush the water from your forehead, gaze on the ground as your face burns, despite the cool rainwater still sliding down your cheeks.

“I, um, I should go,” he says.

“Yeah,” you say. “See you.”

He hops on his bike and rides away. The rain falls so hard you lose sight of him before he rounds the corner.

Saturday the whole team gets together at Jeonghan’s house, because he has a firepit. Seungkwan is standing on the picnic table when you ride up, in the middle of a dramatic retelling of some odd thing that happened at acting camp. He appears to be fencing Vernon with an imaginary sword, and you can only imagine the context of that story. You don’t announce yourself, for fear of making one of them fall off, and help Wonwoo get the food from the kitchen. Mingyu is already getting set up at the grill (despite being one of the youngest, he’s the only one any parent trusts near the grill; previous block barbeques have ended in disaster that no one’s eager to repeat). Minghao is by the firepit, holding the lighter very tightly, either to keep it away from Soonyoung or to ensure he’s the one to start the fire.

Seungkwan jumps down from the table when Jihoon tells him to, although he continues telling his story in an enthusiastic yell. Vernon meets your eyes and grins, flicking his eyes at Seungkwan like you’re sharing an inside joke like normal, and you can almost forget that moment in the rain ever happened.

Nearby, Jeonghan is filling a plastic baby pool with water. You ask him what it’s for but he just grins and tells you it’s a secret. When it comes to Jeonghan that’s usually cause for concern, but also you’re itchy inside your skin and all you did Friday was pick out a couple songs on the old piano your great grandmother left your family and no matter what the adventure you’re down for it, so you leave him to it. It’s the first bonfire of the summer. You can handle anything.

They get the fire started before Mingyu finishes grilling, the smell of the meat wafting over the yard and making your stomach rumble. Unfortunately, they misjudged the wind direction and half of the chairs are directly in the path of the smoke. There’s a lot of complaining as people rush to shift their chairs out of the way. Vernon ends up next to you in the scramble. You aren’t complaining; now you get to tease him about the way he seasons his food and he’ll tease you back about your tendency to drown your burgers in ketchup.

(except you don’t; you eat quietly and neither of you bring up the other’s habits and somewhere deep down that scares you)

When the sun goes down, Jeonghan and Joshua bring out the alcohol, and everyone who’s old enough drinks.

The baby pool, Jeonghan says, is for the losers of the tournament. The tournament, he says, is simple. And for pairs.

The first challenge is a wheelbarrow race down the street. You thought you and Vernon had a pretty good chance of winning, but then, by some divine magic, Jihoon and Mingyu shoot off and cross the finish line miles before everyone else. Half the group calls bologna because come on they’ve got just about the biggest height difference between them, out of everyone, but Joshua was reffing the starting line and didn’t see any false starts; they won fair and square.

The second challenge is hula hooping. You don’t have much hope for your score, not because you’re bad at hula hooping, but because you’re bad at hula hooping when Vernon is right next to you and also hula hooping. You end up laughing so hard that you lose your hoop within three spins, but in the end it doesn’t matter, because Vernon can carry the team score to victory.

“Who needs eight years of gymnastics?” he asks, and you beam.

The third challenge is a ‘who knows their partner the best’ challenge. Jeonghan put together a list of questions, which he and Joshua list off and give time for each partner to write down both their answer and what they think their partner put. You’re a little scared; you’ve known Vernon for as long as you can remember but sometimes you wonder if you really know him like you think you do. The questions aren’t so bad, simply asking what your partner’s favorite clothing brand is, or what time they get up in the morning, or what they think of pineapple on pizza. You breeze through the questions, until the last one. Joshua lists the final question, which member of the group is their favorite?

Your answer is simple enough, but you aren’t sure of his. Sure, you partnered up, but Seungkwan had all but thrown himself directly at Wonwoo when Jeonghan sent you off to partner and you knew Vernon and Seungkwan had known each other long before you had talked to anyone in the neighborhood or gone to a barbeque or slotted yourself into the dynamic of the block, and you knew he and Joshua had a special sort of friendship because of their similar heritage and you just didn’t know for sure what he would put (especially after the strange moment in the rain; you weren’t sure what it meant and you weren’t sure you wanted to know).

Eventually you write Seungkwan’s name on the sheet and hand the paper to Jeonghan when he comes around to collect. You fidget with your fingers as they tally up the scores. Next to you, Seokmin hops up to either get into a passionate debate with Soonyoung over what his true favorite movie is or to maybe just tackle Soonyoung into the grass. Either way, Vernon slides into his empty chair.

“So what’d you put for number seven?” he asks, waggling his eyebrows.

You roll your eyes, knowing exactly what he means. “Clean Mooters,” you say.

He pumps his fist. “I knew you’d see the light eventually!”

“Well I did get the most tips,” you tease.

“Well of course,” he says, “you’re the best looking, it’s only natural.”

Jeonghan calls out that they’ve tallied up the scores before you can process the full implications of that sentence.

You win that round too. Joshua hands the sheets back, and you carefully fold yours and shove it in your pocket.

You play a few more rounds: the chubby bunny challenge (Mingyu crammed an ungodly amount of marshmallows in his mouth, you almost wanted to go to church after seeing that; he kept going even after he won, until he almost choked and Joshua shut him down), the perfect s’more challenge (which you suspect was just an excuse for Jeonghan to get s’mores without having to make them; Mingyu’s first marshmallow slid off his stick, and the second caught fire; Seungcheol and Chan ended up winning and Seokmin called nepotism), the long jump (Soonyoung got overexcited and misjudged his landing; he landed hard on the cement and although he was totally fine, he would ask Jeonghan at random intervals for bonus points because of his injury with a shit eating grin all the while), and finally, a game of hide and seek.

The hide and seek rules are simple; they’ve been the same since you were old enough to be outside after sunset: don’t go off the block, don’t go inside, don’t leave your partner, and don’t use a light. The tournament judges give you thirty seconds head start. You and Vernon take off down the street and the thrill of the game sings through your bloodstream.

“Think they’ll think to look for us up Mrs. Boo’s tree?” Vernon asks as you run.

“Yeah, you remember Seungcheol did that once and Jeonghan’s never forgotten it, it’s the first place he’ll look.” You pass Chan and Seungcheol as they try to conceal themselves behind the Christmas decorations that Mr. Wilkinson still hasn’t taken down. “Mrs. Kim’s porch?”

“No, she’s got her light on.”

You skid to a halt at the end of the street, chests heaving, both casting around for a hiding space. Down the street, Joshua is beginning to yell, counting down from 10. Vernon tugs your sleeve, and points.

You grin.

Moments later, you resettle the plastic lid onto the box, burying yourselves carefully under the tarp inside and setting a few bricks on your backs for good measure. Mr. Lee is upgrading his yard this summer, and one addition is planned to be a brick footpath, and thankfully he left the tote of bricks out where you could get to it. Holding the tarp firmly in place, with the bricks above you for insurance, if they open the tote and decide to slap the tarp, you would just feel like a full box of footpath bricks.

Perfect.

Of course, it’s a pretty small space and you and Vernon have to lie pretty close to one another in order to fit, and your foot presses against his shin and his elbow is in your stomach, but if you lay there and don’t breathe, you’ll have the game in the bag.

“So,” Vernon says, voice so soft it’s sometimes hardly more than a breath, “what’d you put for number seventeen?”

You think back. “Vernon there was no number seventeen.”

“No?” he asks, with a tone like he’d always known. “Guess I’ll have to make one up.”

You snort, very softly. In the distance, yelling breaks out; Soonyoung and Seokmin just got found.

“How do you feel about long distance relationships?” he asks, so softly you nearly miss it.

Your heart skips a beat. You’re pretty sure he’s implying something but you aren’t sure if it should scare you or not. “I think they’re hard,” you say carefully. “Not impossible. But it takes work from both sides. So it’s hard.”

You hear him inhale like he’s going to say something, but he doesn’t, and you feel the breeze from his exhale on your face. Neither of you speak, and you aren’t sure if it’s because you’re listening hard for the seekers or because you have nothing left to say.

The lid of the tote scrapes. You stop breathing. Jeonghan says something above you, drowned out by the beating of your heart. He pulls the lid off, and the moonlight filtering through the pinholes in the tarp might as well be a searchlight after the darkness.

Vernon’s face is inches from yours.

You blink, feeling like your eyelashes will brush his face with the motion. They don’t. Jeonghan pokes the tarp, hitting one of the bricks lying on your side. Apparently satisfied, he closes the lid. His footsteps recede.

Vernon’s face is still burned into your eyes like a sunspot.

He was staring at your lips.

You end up losing hide and seek, despite your perfect spot, because Minghao and Jun somehow managed to get onto Jeonghan’s roof (nobody’s managed to guess how and the pair smugly refuse to tell). The tournament ends with only Seungkwan and Wonwoo having not won any challenges. They change into swimsuits and dunk themselves in the baby pool, and then sprint back across the lawn to their towels yelling about the cold (you put a finger in; it wasn’t nearly as bad as when Jeonghan had filled it).

Vernon stops you before you get on your bike to get home.

“I’m. . . gonna be out of town for a couple weeks,” he says, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. “I can still facetime, but probably only in the mornings and evenings.”

“Okay,” you say, even as your heart sinks (he’s never been away this long).

“Yeah,” he says, and you stand there beside your bikes, looking at each other, like you’re both a little lost in what to do. His eyes keep flicking to your lips.

“So what’d you put for number seventeen?” you ask softly.

He doesn’t hesitate. “I think it could work,” he says, voice as soft as it was in the tote, and you find yourself leaning in to listen. “Easily, even, if it was someone as special as--”

He goes quiet. “As?” you prompt.

He shakes his head. “Someone special,” he says.

You haven’t drank at all but something still buzzes in your veins. It’s the first Saturday bonfire of the summer, and moon floats above the horizon like a glowing balloon, and a warm breeze caresses your skin, and you don’t feel afraid of anything.

“I guess it could work easy,” you say, “if it was someone like you.”

He stares at you long enough that you think maybe you overstepped and your cheeks start to heat and you duck your head and step back with something like an apology and--

--his lips crash into yours.

You don’t know if the kiss lasts for three seconds or three hours. All you know is when you break for breath, you find yourself caught in his eyes, the same familiar deep brown as you’ve seen for years growing up through schools and summers and camps and sleepovers, lying on the floor of the living room and whispering about movies and grades like they were the most important thing in the world.

And then you blink and the world unfreezes and he mumbles something about a curfew and you mumble something about your mom and as if pulled by the same strings you mount your bikes and pedal off in opposite directions.

You lie awake for hours, thinking about his eyes.

You facetime at any and all available hours. You find yourself staying up later to be able to catch him on a lunch break. And it’s hard, but you do it. Because, look, everyone on the block has known that his parents want him to go to Korea for college, and that he wants to go to Korea for college. For years you’ve known this moment was coming. And he’s only going to be there a couple weeks for some kind of tour he landed because his grandmother knows a guy who knows a gal who’s related to a guy who used to babysit for the guy on the school board, or something, and then he’ll come back and you can spend the remainder of the summer doing whatever.

Until then, you’re content to wake up earlier just to get an hour chatting with him before he goes to sleep. You show him all the pages you’ve marked in your mom’s old recipe book and tell him when he gets back you’ll make a couple and sell them for profit. You draw an official logo for Clean Mooters, and he suggests you add a restaurant as a side business that you two could run for extra profit. “Clean Mooters and Good Burgers,” he says, and then says, “No that’s terrible. I’ll keep thinking.”

“Are you the whole Clean Mooters marketing team?” you ask.

“Of course,” he says. “We both know all the business sense went to me.” And he smiles and you forget how to breathe.

You don’t talk about the kiss.

One time, he calls you, and your eyes swoop to check the time, because you know it’s crazy late where he is. You answer.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he says before you get a word out, and his voice is hoarse and it twists your stomach. “Can you-- just tell me about your new project?”

And you do; you’ve taken up crochet this week and your grandma gave you a couple pointers and you do your best calming ASMR voice as you repeat her pointers and what you plan to do to build your skill, and then end up going off on a tangent on whether Clean Mooters should have a gift shop selling cow merchandise (“It would make sense, there are a lot of cows around here.”) and when you pause to recollect your thoughts, all you hear is his quiet breathing.

The day Vernon’s set to return is a Thursday, which is perfect, because it gives him time to recollect himself before the Saturday bonfire, which will be the real welcome back party. On Thursday, you and the other kids on the block draw all over the street and then, when his flight is late and the sun goes down before he gets to the street, assemble to hold flashlights over the really good stuff. You only see his smile for a few brief seconds as the car goes past, but it’s enough to make your heart swell.

Friday you wake up to a knock on your bedroom door. “Hey, up and at ‘em, it’s noon!” Vernon calls through the door.

You groan and throw an arm over your face. “Says the guy who was still in bed at one pm that whole first week!”

“Yeah, and it was heaven. Come on, you get up fast enough and I’ll buy you a donut.”

You get dressed and meet him downstairs. “Try that again and I’ll convince my mom to rehide the spare key,” you threaten.

He just grins. “I’d be able to find it.” He picks up your bike helmet. “You want to get out of the neighborhood with me?”

You’d rob a bank if it was with him. “Absolutely.”

It’s a rush to be back on your bike, both of you pedaling faster and faster to try to be in front, weaving around the cars parked on the streetside and hopping the curb just to prove you can. Last week’s project was learning to ride a bike no handed and you show off the new skill as often as you can.

You go everywhere and nowhere. You hit up the mall and he buys you a donut and you wander the halls window shopping, and he buys a whole rainbow set of tinted glasses just because they looked cool; you break open the package the minute you own them and check out your reflection in the store window.

“We look ridiculous,” you say, adjusting the red pair so they sit better on your face.

“Speak for yourself,” Vernon says, turning to see himself from different angles. “I think purple’s exactly my color.”

You shove the blue pair on over the red, even though they barely fit on your nose, and stick your tongue out at him. “There, now we match.”

He puts on another pair of glasses and it turns into a competition of who can wear the most, and then into who can wear the most without getting a headache. That second winner was Vernon, but you won the first half.

You hit up the McDonalds in the food court and get the large cup for a dollar, and then go down the drink machine and hit it with just a quick blast of each, repeated over and over until the cup was full. It tastes like a mess of conflicting sugars and syrups. You drink the whole thing through separate straws. You can’t stop glancing at his lips. Your faces are so close.

You get ice cream and sit under the bridge over the creek to eat it, watching the sun go down somewhere downstream, listening to the cars whizzing past overhead.

“I missed you,” Vernon says.

“I missed you too,” you say, even though that doesn’t convey the half of it.

“During the school year--” He stops, and you glance over to see him staring into the sunset, his ice cream melting toward his fingers.

You take his free hand. “It’ll be hard, not being close for so long,” you say. “But-- we could do it. I’m not just going to stop talking to you because I have classes and-- you know how my sleep schedule gets during the year.”

He laughs, softly, lacing your fingers together. “I’ll be able to call and tell you to go to bed without you turning it on me.”

“Damn.” You scowl at your feet. “Didn’t think about that. You sure you can’t just go to Europe instead?”

“Nope,” he says. “You’re going to have to find a new defense.”

You sigh. “But Vernon that one’s worked since we were fourteen.”

“It never worked!”

“Yes it did because then it got you on the defensive instead!”

“But you still went to sleep when I hung up, didn’t you?”

Double damn. He’s right and you know he knows it, from the raised eyebrow look he’s giving you as he catches the ice cream that’s melting around the edges of his cone.

“. . . That’s entirely beside the point.”

He just grins. You bury your face in your ice cream cone, trying to devour the rest in a single bite to avoid the urge to pout. Of course, all that really does is get ice cream all over your face, but whatever. When you look back at him, he’s still looking at you, his eyes soft and fond and damn but you’re going to miss him like a lung when he’s gone.

“You’ve got a little something there,” he says, and you make a face at him to maybe hide how very obviously whipped you are and do your best to wipe it off with the pile of napkins you snatched.

“Better?”

“No, it’s still--” and he scoots in, and you both go really quiet as he wipes the ice cream from your cheek. His thumb traces your lip.

“You know,” you say, very softly, “if you wanted to kiss me you could’ve just asked.”

His eyes blink up to meet yours, and red tints his cheeks, but he still smiles. “Okay,” he says. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yeah.”

Your ice cream melts. (“It’s okay,” Vernon says, “I’ll buy you another.”)

[dealing-with-mi]

7/11/20

Well I made it past that... but to say the last year went well would be absolute bullshit.

My grandmother on my mom's side got diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic, liver, and intestinal cancer on April 28, 2019. By May 11, we lost her. May 16 was her funeral. My grandfather holds it against me and my mom for taking her to the hospital then to hospice for her last 2 weeks but everything was shutting down inside of her and she was in so much pain.. I know we did the right thing, but it hurts to be told we didn't.

Then, by July, my "best friend" of almost 7 years walks away from me because she believed some bullshit that I would do something to take advantage of her or her family. Let it be known that this is the same girl who I put all friendships on the line for, loved like a real sister, took on all of her crap, "helped" her with as much homework as i could meaning quite literally doing some of it for her, and told her that i would give her a kidney if she needed it.

So that went well for me.

August-November I was at a job that was one of the worst places I've ever worked, but it was at least some money so it wasn't the worst.

End of November, my birthday, great! The big 21! Except I had(still have) no friends and got the flu the morning of my birthday. How sad is it that the only birthday wishes I got were from my parents? who I don't have the best of relationships with.

December was the start of a new job, I'm awkward so it was awkward. Oh, and my mom got told she had masses on her kidney.. she's had cancer before so we were in the biggest panic and she couldn't go see a specialist until insurance kicked in in the 1st of January...so panic attacks practically every night while getting up and going to a new job with new people was fun.

January is when my father offered to move back in. I can't stand him most of the time, but I can recognize that he does care in his own way because when he found out my mom had cancer, he offered to move back in just in case she needed to go through chemo and couldn't work. So it was for a good reason, but living with him is hard. Then work started to be fun, I enjoyed the people and the topic my job focused around, so it worked out well. Oh and still no answers yet about my mom.

February started out still in anxiety. Middle of February, find out my mom doesn't have cancer, but my father already cancelled his lease so he was moving back in anyway.. now with no reason to be there, which means more torment on me because he had no reason he had to be nice to us anymore. Oh and by the end of February, we find out my mom's dad actually has cancer. Stage 3 lymphoma. Burkitts lymphoma, very rare in a 79 year old man in the states. So that's great. He can't even get the normal chemo typically used for it.

March- why does it always seem like March is hard for me? So just found out my grandfather has cancer and the world starts shutting down. Last day of work for me was March 16. Was put on Furlough shortly after, after my 3 days off of course so they didn't have to pay me for those.

Let me make this clear- I suffer from severe anxiety. (And this is not a call for unsolicited advice, this is just giving context). I also have an above average understanding on the medical field for someone who is not in it. So, when a pandemic is on the rise, I have no desire to leave my house. I took and still take even more precautions than most.

Oh. Also in March. We couldn't get my grandfather into any cancer treatment hospitals because the insurance company was pretty much on hold. I guess until they knew more about the pandemic.

April- I continued to not work due to closures. I continued to have anxiety attacks worrying not just about if I got sick, but my mom who has a compromised immune system and my grandfather who still has cancer and no treatment. April 21, my mom went down to take my grandfather to his first appointment. Thankfully he was able to get into the best cancer center in the state and possibly the nation, and they agreed to give him a chance if he wanted to fight, but no guarantees. April 28, I went down to join her.

May 15, first night spent at my own home since going down to take care of him... left him in the care of my aunt who has always had some there to take care of her. But that's his daughter, she wanted to help, I'm not even blood, so who was I to say no? Even though I've seen him more in the past 21 years than she has in the last 40..(she moved out at 14, she is now almost 60). But, truth be told, selfishly, I was glad she came because I needed a break.

She was supposed to stay for 6 weeks... that was the plan... I was back at my grandfather's house on June 11. I haven't been home since except for a few days because my dog had surgery on june 30th and I had to be there to 1) pay the bill because lord knows my father wouldn't, and 2) take care of my dog like he should be to reduce chance of infection.

It is now July 11. I won't be back home until the 26th. I am glad I can be here to take care of him because he is sick, and through my help he is slowly getting better, because otherwise he wouldn't eat, or take his meds, or get to appointments..

But who is going to take car of me?

Cases of covid are spiking again. My allergies flared up so bad that I had a full blown panic attack that I had it. Took and allergy decongestant and it went away. I was worried about me. I was worried about him. I didn't want him to die because of me and I didn't want the pain that would come before my death if I had it.

I want him to get better. For him.

But for me too.

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU [Book 3]

Binge read the last two Books to get you up to speed! Book 1 * Book 2

Chapter 16: Drive Safe by Rich Brian

It’s graduation day and I am so washed over with relief that I’m just floating...literally. Everyone except Lili are in attendance to see me walk the stage twice for my double degree. Beizu and I could hardly sit still for the ceremony, holding hands until it was time to receive our diplomas. The moment we were able to walk out, we bolted out the door to scream out our new found freedom! Our families met up with us for the food part of our celebration, but before that, the usual suspects came up to us.

“IIDA-KUN!” yelled Gon “Don’t leave without saying goodbye!”

“Yea! Lets stay in touch!” Kage said with a smile “I know you have big things ahead of you, so don’t forget about us okay?”

“Aw guys, I don’t think I could if I wanted too” I joked “But I have to thank you guys for making my time in hero class worthwhile! I don’t think I’d do much if you guys didn’t push me to the challenge or pester me into doing the sports festival.”

“Bro, you inspire me” Gon was moved by my words “Invite me to your housewarming and wedding bro! And I’ll invite you to ours.”

“Ours?” I raised my eyebrow “you’re dating someone?”

“Oop maybe I’m getting ahead of myself” Gon turned red “Anyways! We’ll see you later Iida-kun!”

“See you whenever I do!” I waved them off, then turned to Beizu “I hope I do see again, they’re good people.”

“Come on Iwata, Beizu” called over mom “we don’t want to be late to our reservation!”

We excitedly jumped into the car to go to the best dim sum place this side of the country! Mom has been ordering from this place since it was just a street cart vendor, now it’s an established restaurant with many culinary awards. We go on special occasions as a family and they serve us like royalty. As we ate, I really reflected on everything I’ve gone through in these three years. Nothing like I thought it was gonna be but at least I didn’t go through it alone.

“Hey Bei” I said as I split my beef roll “I feel like I don’t tell you how much I appreciate you sticking through things with me. Couldn’t have survived these three years without you.”

Beizu raised a brow and chuckled “Why so gracious out of nowhere?”

“I dunno, I just was thinking about it now that it’s over” I put half a beef roll on his plate with telekinesis “I didn’t dread waking up or doing all that work everyday, because I had you to make things not suck so much. Heck, I wouldn’t even consider applying if you weren’t going to be there! So thank you Beizu, for everything.”

Beizu smiled “I can’t go without my best friend, you’ve made this leg of our lives that much more significant. Thank you for loving and wanting me to be part of your world.”

“Not to ruin the moment but can you pass the scallion pancakes?” Tensei’s voice cut in from across the big circular table.

“Oh sure! Sorry!” I levitated the plate of food to him.

“That reminds me!” Mom gasped as she grabbed her purse “We have a graduation gift for you two. Mei and I thought this would be the right time to give you such a gift.”

Beizu and I receive a large envelope from my mom. We exchanged a look and opened it.

“What is this?” asked Beizu confused to see a letter and two train tickets.

“Well, since you two were a little nosy about Beizu’s father” Beizu’s mom explained “We arranged for you two a vacation to Saitama, where Beizu’s dad is from, to learn more about him.” She turned to her son “I know you want some closure, in the letter are directions to his parent’s lodge that’s still functional. You can ask all the questions there and I’m sure they’d be happy to see that he didn’t let his legacy die.”

I was dumbfounded by the thoughtfulness of this gift. We didn’t know how to express our thanks other than crying and hugging our mothers. We really wanted to know how was this man we were named after. So fast forward a week later, we hopped on the early train to Saitama. Apparently this lodge is so obscure, I couldn’t find any reviews or information on them other than it’s approximate location and what trail to take to get there. We had to hike the rest of the way there once we got to the little town that was described in the letter. But it was a quaint town, not too noisy and not too bustling with tourists. Hand in hand, we hiked our way up the trail. It became clear that we needed to get out in nature more often, just two city boys getting winded and distracted by wild animals! Longer than intended, we finally made it to the lodge after three hours!

“Iwata Family Lodge, an oasis in the mountains” Beizu read the sign at the front of the lodge “It’s so weird to see your name in a different context here. Keep forgetting that your mom gave you my dad’s last name as a first name.”

“I like to not think about it too much” I chuckled as I finished my little stretch “Ready to go in there?”

Beizu took a deep breath “Will you hold my hand the whole time?”

“Of course” I held his hand “Until I need to pee tho.”

“Nah I hold your hand as you pee” jested Beizu.

“You nasty” I wheezed as we walked down the stone path to the front door of the lodge “A ver if you’re down because I need to pee and I’m not peeing in front of nature.”

We push open the doors and the warmth of the lodge rushed over us. The inside was so homely, yet a bit industrial in it’s design. Like this used to be a house that got turned into lodge and it’s gone through a few expansions over the years. The sound of rushing footsteps came from a nearby hallway.

“Hello, welcome! So sorry nobody was here to greet you!” said a woman as she bowed in apology “Are you here to rest for a while or rent a room?”

“Oh um actually” I dug into my pocket to take out the letter “We have a special reservation, under the name of Beizu.”

The woman stopped smiling, face turning white “Beizu? No...it can’t be!”

Beizu took a step forward and took off his beanie “Hi, I’m Beizu Hatsune. Beizu Iwata’s son. N-nice to meet you.”

The woman just looked at his extended hand and just ran into the hallway where she came from.

“Ya know, I expected fainting and crying” I spoke up “I don’t know if I should get in fight mode or call my mom, we followed the instructions on the letter to the T.”

“Maybe they don’t believe us” sighed Beizu in defeat “I knew it was too simple and too good to be true! Like, of course you’d not believe that your family member that died almost 20 years ago SUDDENLY has their almost 20 year old son show up with a random dude!” Beizu exclaimed in exasperation “God what are we doing?! Let’s just...go.”

“Bei, don’t be like that” I go in for the hug “Lets sit in the lobby and if they kick us out, oh well that’s our cue to truly leave. Please? I know you’re tired from that hike.”

“Fine, only because I’m tired” Beizu caved into my embrace “Can I have some water from the canteen?”

We hung up our coats and took off our hiking boots to sit in the lobby. I looked out the window to see the other facilities this place has. There’s an onzen, a slope to sled on, outdoor lounge and dining area. If we’re welcomed here, I’d love to hit the onzen. But back to the matters at hand, Beizu was getting anxious with the amount of time that passed and nobody came back out. Almost an hour passed and still nobody! 

“Lets go Iwa” Beizu said standing up “I feel like we’re not welcomed here. I guess we’ll see where to stay once we get back to that town.”

“Oh well, would’ve been nice to have a soak in that onzen” I floated over to the coat rack “It’s really cold here!”

“Wait! Don’t leave!” cried out a voice from the hallway.

We turned around to see a man and woman, both gray and aged, coming out of the hallway.

“Please, we have to apologize for not coming out sooner” said the older woman “It’s just that we’re shocked to hear that name again. You have my son’s name” she pointed to Beizu, walking slowly toward him “I haven’t seen him in so long but I know my son’s face when I see it.” she wrapped her arms around him “You look so much like him! Please don’t leave us again so soon!”

“I can’t deny that you’re not the spitting image of my oldest son” spoke up the old man “Please, sit a while in the lobby. I’m sure you came for questions.”

“I did, I have so many!” Beizu responded, overwhelmed by everything.

“Cool, mind if I use the restroom?” I spoke up as I spotted the sign to the men’s room “I’ll be right back Bei.”

Beizu sat with his grandparents, not knowing where to begin.

“The pink looks nice on you” his grandmother spoke up.

“Oh thanks! It’s natural” Beizu fingered a lock of his hair “my mom has pink hair and yellow-gold eyes.”

“Natural?! What else is different?” questioned the grandfather, astounded that pink hair is genetic.

“Hmmm, I guess my studies? I recently graduated from UA-”

“UA?! My goodness you must be a super genius like your father!” gasped the old couple “What’s your hero name?!”

“Oh this is awkward, I actually pursued the agent route” Beizu let them down gently “I’m one of the top three agents of my class and I’m going to work in contracted agent work in my region.”

“Not a hero eh?” chuckled the old man “Not that different from your dad.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Well, I’ll admit, I put a ton of pressure on your dad to either be a hero or be in construction like me. That kind of pressure put a strain on our relationship and it drove him away from here.” the man sighed “He made it out of here as a sidekick for a top hero right out of hero school. But he really wanted to be an engineer and help others with technology, that’s how much of a genius he was. Always tinkering with scraps to make robots and I’d yell at him to put his skills into something more worthwhile. When he told us he was finally pursuing his dreams to be an engineer, I got very angry that he was throwing away his hero title to play with robots. At the time, I didn’t think he was going to make a living doing all that and I didn’t want him to starve to pursue this dream. But that was the final straw and he cut ties with us.” He looked at Beizu “How stubborn of me to just hold on to this grudge, even when the company he worked for took off. And even when the day came when this gorgeous woman with curly hair came in to tell us he passed away, I said that I didn’t want anything to do with that man. But as the years rolled by, I found myself missing him and realizing that I wasn’t considering the times were different and it was better for him to be in engineering. And I should’ve been more supportive and maybe he’d still be here, and we would have been in your life.”

“I’ve wondered how is that curly haired woman” the old woman spoke “She looked so professional and passionate about his death, I thought for a while that maybe she was the woman he was courting.”

“Oh um about that-”

“Yo that bathroom has a bidet and I feel like I’m at my old house!” I said stomping in.

“Hey why don’t you introduce yourself!” Beizu motioned toward me.

“Oh right! How rude of me!” I clear my throat “Hi, I’m Iwata El Roca Iida. I was raised with Beizu when we were infants and stayed together ever since.”

“Iwata? Like our family name?” muttered the old woman “How?”

“Iwata here was named after my dad out of respect. His mother is CEO of the company he worked for.”

“Yup! My mom told us how amazing he was and that she wouldn’t be where she is now with the company without him” I said as I sat next to Beizu “He designed all the functionalities of the robot companions and personally installed security systems in most of the major hero agencies.”

“Oh my, don’t tell me that-”

“His mom was the curly haired woman that you yelled at grandpa” Beizu said as he snatched the hat off my head, revealing my curly hair “Fun fact, he was in the womb when she came here to tell you the news.”

“This...is a lot to take in” the old man slumped back into the couch “It’s all the ghosts of the past are here to kill me themselves! Now I really regret the things I did.”

“Oof, do you think it’s in poor taste if we tell them our news?” I whispered to Beizu.

“What news?” the old woman asked curiously “Please do tell! I want to know what’s going on with my grandson.”

“Well, if you insist” I held Beizu’s hand “We’re engaged and going to live together.”

“Okay, I’m going to go take a nap” the old man stood up and briskly walked to the hallway “because there is no way today is real!”

We watched this old man fume his way down the hall and heard a door slam.

“Is he alright?” asked Beizu

“He’s just overwhelmed is all” assured the old woman “But we’ve just met you and you’re getting married?! I’m so excited, I love weddings! And I’m sure I’m going to have some lovely in-laws.”

“Oh you’ll love my parents and three other siblings!” I added.

“Yup, I’m also very excited to take his last name” gushed Beizu.

“Aw, not keep your last name?” she asked confused.

“Nope, I want him to marry into my family so I can share my inheritance with him” I clarified “My dad is part of the Ingenium hero lineage and-”

“A HERO LINEAGE?!” she screamed “oh please forgive me, but I suddenly need to lie down too.”

I waited until she was out of sight “Well, at least she’s not homophobic!”

“It was a lot to take in” Beizu slumped back “Now I feel like taking a nap.”

“If you’d like, I can open up a room for you two” said the woman from earlier “You traveled quite a ways and they just need some time to recoup. Come follow me.”

We followed them down the opposite hallway and into a room with a large bed and faux fireplace. We put our bags down and admired the view from our window.

“There’s towels and robes in the bathroom cabinet, extra blankets in the closet and some bottled refreshments on the table.” the woman turned to leave “I’ll have a meal ready for you when you wake. Please get some rest.”

“Thank you.” We thanked politely.

Beizu threw himself on the bed face down and started screaming into the comforter.

“Was that an excited, tired or frustrated scream?” I asked as I sat at the edge of the bed.

“It was a mixed one” Beizu rolled onto his back “Kinda see why my dad left, the communication in this family is awful. But at least grandma is nice.”

I laid down next to him “See? You’re already getting comfortable with the labels!”

“Yea but... the whole excusing themselves from the conversation is making me feel like shit” Beizu sighed and closed his eyes “Maybe a nap will do me good, we did jump into things too soon.”

I check the time “Its only 3pm, lets rest then” I spooned them from the back “I’ll be here when you wake.”

We took a short rest, only to be woken up by the sound of children giggling and running up and down the hall.

“Okay either this place haunted or theres a family that just arrived” I said as I sat up from our nap “And I believe the haunting more than the latter.”

We walked out to see 4 children of different ages in front of our door. All of them scattered at the sight of us. Confused, we walked out to the lobby and met with the woman again.

“You’re up, sorry if the children woke you” she walked out from behind the front desk to show the children wrapped around her legs “They heard from their grandma that they have an older cousin here in the lodge.”

“Oh wow I have more cousins!” Beizu leaned down “Hi! I’m Beizu, I have the same quirk...see?”

The children gasped at the sight of Beizu stretching his limbs.

“But can you touch the ceiling?!” challenged one of the older boys “I nobody can beat me!” he stretched a good 6 feet “Beat that!”

“Boy you underestimate me!” Beizu did a little warm up “I’ve been training my quirk at the highest ranked hero school, the ceiling is nothing!” Beizu jumped up and stretched to touch the high vaulted ceiling with ease “Tadaa!”

“Woah! So cool!” cried out the boy that challenged him.

After a while, the woman leads us to a dining room with a late lunch set for us. She sat with us, observing Beizu.

“You know, after your dad left” she broke the silence “he kept in contact with me. Even after the big fight, he’d send me money and call once a week. He told me that his partner was pregnant with you and he planned to come back to introduce you to us once you were big enough.”

“He kept in contact with you? How come you didn’t come to visit?” asked Beizu.

“I couldn’t leave the lodge, our parents were getting too old to run things on their own.” the woman explained “Father didn’t put the same pressures on me to study or find a worthwhile job, it was already assumed I was going to run the lodge, marry a local man and have children. And don’t get me wrong! I’m perfectly happy with that! It’s just that, I idolized my big brother and of course I’ve bit my tongue and kept you secret from my parents for him.”

“What? Why keep me secret?”

She started to pick up the dirty dishes “Father is very stubborn and I was so afraid he’d reject you too. Over the years he softened up to start mourning the loss of his son.” She put the dishes on the bussers cart “It was around the time my oldest son started talking that he came around. But it was too late to really fix things, so he just spent his days sitting in his workshop, remembering when he spent quality time with his son.”

“...Well, what if I told you I can help him look back?” Beizu offered.

“Bei, you brought the device?” I asked through my mouthful of omurice.

“Yeah, I figured that if we did find the place and they let us in” he explained himself “maybe they’d like look back at the good times. Plus I’d get to see how my dad was as a kid.”

I swallowed my food “Fair enough, that’s why you’re the smart one.”

“Hmm? I device?” asked the woman curiously.

“Umm I can explain later aunty” Beizu held back “er- can I call you that?”

“Of course! I am your aunt” the woman burst into laughter “my name is Naomi and you can call me however you want.”

I quickly finished my food as they were talking “Soooo, is the onzen open?”

Beizu and I spent time together for the rest of the day. Fully touring the place and contacting our moms that we made it safe to the lodge. In the morning, Beizu was preparing himself to show the device, basically pacing in anticipation.

“Aunty, I-”

“Hup! Whatever it is” stopped his aunt, plates in her hands “sit and eat.”

“But-”

“Sit. and. eat. Beizu.” She waited for Beizu to sit at the table “Good! I hope you like fried pork and eggs in congee.... And that goes for you too Father.” She sternly flashed a look toward the open doorway “What is with the men in this family and skipping breakfast?!”

“Dad did it too?” Beizu asked.

“Oh he’d bolt out the house in excitement almost every morning” the old woman walked into the dining room “And it’s always something he thought up in his sleep and didn’t want to waste time because the dream was still fresh in his head.” She sat down “Your grandfather would be the first one up to do some sort of work on the lodge and wouldn’t stop until the middle of the afternoon.”

I turned to face Beizu “Now that they mentioned it, you do wake up and get to work-mode.”

“Yea and I have to drag you out of bed every morning so you can do your little skincare and hair ritual” Beizu mocked me and turned to his aunt and grandma “He can’t go anywhere if his hair isn’t done! So high maintenance.”

“Curly hair is hard to manage” I huffed as I levitated the coffee pot “Just wait until we have children and we have to care for their curls! Complain then Bei.”

“Oh my, I can’t imagine it!” the old man put his cup down to put his head in his hands “Great-Grand children?! Pink and curly haired with god-knows quirks.”

“Father don’t think about it too much” the aunt sat down “They’re still too young to have children. Besides, they might be quirk-less like me.”

“You’re quirk-less?” I asked, hiding my palm pistons in my sweater sleeves.

“Yup, that’s why I admired my big brother so much” she smiled “He had such an amazing quirk and I wish I had it in me to do the amazing things he did. But sadly, no quirk, hence why all my children have quirks.”

We talked more over breakfast and I noticed how much more open the grandfather was to Beizu. It made me very relieved that things weren’t tense anymore, which made the next event that much easier. Everyone was gathered at the lodge workshop with Beizu and the device in the middle.

“Okay, give me at date” Beizu flipped the device on.

“...try March 9th, 30 years ago.” spoke the grandfather “If I remember correctly, that’s the day I finished the room expansion on the far side of the lodge.”

“Alright...starting image, now!” 

Beizu pressed the button and the device took a little while to produce the hologram, as it’s the furthest date it’s been inputed. But finally the image of a male child with an adult man at the work table came up.

“...and that’s how you fix a door knob.”

“Wow! So cool daddy!” gasped and clapped the boy “Can you teach me how to do the thing with my fingers?!” 

“You mean make the lock pick?” said the man as he knelt down “Sure, hands out.”

The boy eagerly held his hands out and observed how the man molded his fingers into two thin, needle like hooks.

“I did it!” the boy exclaimed “look daddy! Now I know 5 tools!”

“You sure do, I’m very proud of you son” the man chuckled and pat the boy’s head “You’re learning so fast, someday you’ll surpass me!”

“I wanna grow up and help people. I want to learn as much as I can!” 

“Like a hero?”

“Like you daddy!” beamed the boy “You’re always helping people by building houses and clearing safe trails for hikers. I want to help too!”

Beizu stopped the image and looked back at his aunt and grandparents.

“He knew way back then his calling” his grandmother spoke “And he never lost track of it, we just didn’t know it was going to be with robotics.”

The grandfather walked up to the still of the past “I shouldn’t have pushed you away, would you ever forgive me?” he asked the hologram like it could respond.

“I think he would’ve forgiven you” Beizu walked up to him “I’ve peeked into the past, the time before I was born and he was prepping the house for my birth. He would talk to himself that he wanted to take me back to where he grew up. That maybe if comes back with a lot to show, he’d show that old man that he made it pursuing his dream.” Beizu turned to see the image of his dad as a boy “I didn’t know what that meant but I get it now! He wanted to show you how capable he was with his dream. A thriving career, a house ,a loving partner and a child...he wanted to make you proud of him at the end.”

That statement made everyone cry. 

“The hologram is fading” I spoke up, pointing at the corner that started fading.

They all gathered to watch the last few seconds of their loved one, like they were finally letting go of any bad feelings and regrets. I could help but smile at them finally acting like family, like they were never apart. The next few days we spent there were us learning about the area and helping around. The morning we were due to leave, the grandfather approached me.

“Boy, may I see your hands?” he requested bluntly.

“Um, sure” I held out my hands, confused on why he was asking me to do so.

He took a closer look at my pistons “Two quirks?” I nodded in response “Ahhh, what a rare gem. The gene pool is going to be nice and strong! Please take good care of my grandson” he folded my hands together with his cupped around them “You have my blessing to marry him, but I have a feeling you were going to regardless on what I had to say.”

I chuckled “What gave it away?”

“The way your mother told me that she was going to honor my son’s death to spite me that day” he got visibly nervous “I got very nervous when I saw that curly hair, thinking you’re just like her. So this whole week I was just waiting for you to yell at me over something.”

“Oh I don’t do outbursts unless I’m in battle! Don’t you worry your little gray head oji-san” I reassured him “I promise to take care of Beizu and to remind him to call every so often.”

I walked with him to the front desk, where everyone else was.

“Ready to go?” Beizu asked me as all his cousins were latching onto his legs crying “Come on guys, I gotta go home.”

“Are you sure you have to go? You’re more than welcome to stay as long as you want” the grandmother offered.

“I wish we could but we have important trainings coming up in the coming days” Beizu responded, peeling his cousins off him “On top of that, we’re still looking at places to move into once Iwa gets his inheritance money in a few months.”

“We’ll visit as much as we can!” I promised as I picked up my bag “We’re family after all, I wanna see what’s going on at the lodge.”

“We’ll always have room for you two” the aunt said as she hugged us “Take care, send me a message when when you get home safely.”

We said our final goodbyes and walked away hand in hand. I had to savor these moments with Beizu, the real work was starting soon for us. He knew it too, so we didn’t let go of each other the whole way home. And even then, we had to get pried away by our moms at that were waiting to take us home when we arrived at the station.

Many months later, I finished packing my belongings to move out of my parent’s house. It’s spring, I just had my 20th birthday and Lili is newly engaged to Hoshi. The brats are in their 3rd year of middle school and Beizu is making good money at his agent job. Me? I’ve taken up work with Sir Nighteye’s agency and it’s an impressive first job I’d say. I walk down stairs with the last of my boxes to load onto the rental movers truck that uncle Jin has yet to come back. I see my mom sitting at the couch by herself, I float over to her.

“Mom, what are you doing?”

“Hmm? I got texts from work and I’m just now getting around to them” she responded as she was typing “Are you all packed?”

“I am, just brought the last of my stuff” I sighed and sat next to her “Mom, I’m nervous. I know this is different from moving away to dorm and I’m not going to be alone. But I can’t help it! What’s going to happen now?”

Mom put her phone down and held me “Oh my baby boy, I’m afraid I don’t know the answer to that one. This is the beginning of your adult life, your fate is entirely in your hands now.”

“How was it when you started your adult life?” I asked, looking up to her.

“I was basically like how you were, moving into a place with my significant other and making our place like a home” she smiled and stroked my hair “Except my heart was torn between what happened between your dad and I. My fate was ruled by my next move, no syllabus nor clear future! Hence the mess that happened that lead to reuniting with your dad. But you’re in better standing than I was at your age, you’re living with the love of your life and have enough in savings for anything that might happen.” She squeezed me close “You’ll be just fine Iwata, enjoy your newfound freedom and cherish the little things. Because the time will pass so fast that you’ll be bringing home your first born, wondering were all the time went and how you spent it.”

“Its that how you feel know that I’m the second one to move out?”

“It feels like last week I was watching you take your first steps and now I’m watching you leave my nest” she chuckled, then paused to listen to the shuffling outside the house “Oop, your dad and uncle Jin came at the same time, better go yeet those boxes into the truck before your dad starts crying again.”

So I was speed running my move out, like mom said, my dad cries so much whenever his kids do anything. Uncle Jin was generous enough to not only drive the truck but also help us bring our new furniture up to our apartment. It didn’t really hit me that this was our new place until I saw the amount of boxes that were piled in the living room. 

“Well, time to get started” sighed Beizu as he handed me a box cutter “I’ll do the furniture assembling, you unpack the kitchen and bathroom stuff.”

Half way of unpacking, I looked at a frustrated Beizu trying to assemble a desk “Ya know, this unpacking and moving in shit is way harder than when we were in the dorms. Lets just...not assemble the bed today.”

Beizu stopped his struggle and looked at me “You saying what I think you’re saying?”

I gave him the look “Ya sabes babe, pillow fort bedroom!”

When we got around to unpacking the bedroom things, out of all the boxes we packed, all there was three comforters and the rest were pillows. I couldn’t help but to laugh at the amount of pillows we brought to our place! It was enough to fill our bedroom, or as Beizu put it, enough to build a pillow castle. So we did just that and crawled inside of it to finally rest.

“I don’t mind if we never assemble the bed frame” Beizu said as he put his head on my chest “Our parents can’t tell us to tear this down!”

I looked up at the ceiling fan, finally taking in our situation “Just like this, forever in love and young at heart. In our little love nest.” I closed my eyes and felt Beizu cuddle closer “I love you so much.”

Thoughts of our future danced in my head as I drifted to sleep. I was very excited to make my way through my adult life. Who cares what’s going on outside right now?! I have all I need right here and nothing is going to change that.... Wonder what those brats are up to now?

-Book 3, End-

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[miyu-hyperfixates]

Train attendant!MDZS AU (part 1)

So I’m currently reading a C novel called Card Room. Which is basically the MC and ML having to go through several survival/puzzle/escape/mystery rooms. And the arc I’m reading right now is about murders occurring on a three-days trip train and the two main characters have to investigate and solve them. In real life, one is a forensic doctor and the other one is a police investigator, so it’s pretty easy for them. In the context of the room though they are impersonating train attendants.

And at some point after discovering the first victim, the forensic doctor rattled a bunch of medical facts and the witnesses around him where like “???” and one of them even went like “Are train attendants really that amazing nowadays? You know medicine?!”

So then a plot bunny emerged in my mind about an universe where aboard a train all staffs are actually hidden (or not so hidden) badasses... Like if you’re familiar with the TV tropes terminology they are all either  Ambiguously Trained or Almighty Janitors.  And because my mind always come back some way or another to MDZS nowadays.

So imagine the MDZS characters... It might be that after canon, all of the characters for some reasons miraculously came back to life and all the cast managed to reach immortality. Or that all of them are actually the reincarnation of the canon characters and remember their past lives (and got the same skills/abilities). Anyway, no matter the reasons, they are all chilling in the modern areas and for some reasons are actually all ‘working’ as staff members of this special train.

Except none of them actually bother to hide their skills or even try to appear normal... Some do try to at least do their jobs but well, with more or less success depending on the person ...So of course pure chaos and mayhem follow!

[Note, this is written in a sort of outsider perspective... So most of the time I use identifiers while referring to characters. The parts in brackets are mostly the thoughts/reactions of the passenger witnessing the general craziness of the MDZS’s characters....

Note 2: Also this is supposed to be pure crack, so please do note take anything seriously. ] 

Coach 1 &16 - the Driver coaches

So one of the thing a passenger on the MDZS Express might notice that the driver carriages are actual very long compared to standard ones. They are like half the length of a passenger carriage, which can usually house up to twenty rows of seats. What does the driver needs such a huge space?  

It is a staff only area so passengers are not allowed to access it. But periodically passengers sitting near the door would able to hear a loud “swooshing” and “thumping” sounds, as if someone was violently swinging a baseball bat in there.

Only few staff members are seen venturing into there. And the driver is hardly seen by anyone.

Most of the time it’s a very handsome man wearing all white clothes with a constant serene smile on his face, who’ll gentle knock on the door carrying foods into the driving carriage. The 1m90 driver will then open the door and welcome the man in, a very soft expression on his usually stern and scary face.

Occasionally a short attendant with a vermilion mark on his forehead, wearing a crisp and sharp uniform (he is probably the only one wearing the proper attendant uniform) and looking very aggravated will knock on the door. Compared as to when the man in white walked in, the atmosphere was definitively full of aggression and tension.

The few times the driver decided to leave his coach, his default expression seemed to be “I’m going to beat someone to death” scowl or something... and the passengers will witness this huge ass man carrying an equally huge ass fake (”It must be fake right? Who’ll allow a driver to carry such a weapon?!”) saber on his back strode down the aisle....the first time it happens all the passengers collectively froze in fear... Random passenger A: terrorist?! Is this a terrorist attack?! Are we all going to die?!

But after a while they got used to it and soon realized that they were always two outcomes to this situation. The terrorist  driver will either disappear for forty to sixty minutes and then come back significantly less tensed. Or he’ll come back less than fifteen minutes later dragging with him a wailing man and muttering something about training. The door will close behind them with a huge slam and then screams of distress could be distinctively heard from inside. (”Is this a murder? Do we need to call the police?!!!”)   

If you’re courageous enough to try to talk to him, when you see him walk by... Don’t ask him for the arrival times, or information about the stations and so on, he’ll just look blankly at you and say “How should I know? Go ask the short bastard.” (Aren’t you the driver of this train?!!!) [By the way if you ask him where the train is going, he’ll answer something like “north”]

Coach 15 - the staff coach

This is also a staff only areas, containing the staff’s offices and beds.

According to some staff members the cabines are soundproof. When asked why they would need such a thing, most of the attendants would shudder violently and mutter something about “everyday”. 

What nearby passengers use to describe this coach is “excessively loud”, “occasionally explosive”, “might cause the entire nearby carriage to shake from the shockwave of whatever is going on in here” and “believe me you don’t want to know”.

So let’s keep it at that. 

Coach 2 -  first-class seat coach

This is actually one of the most low key coach? Apart from being next to the driver carriage (and the drama that comes with it) there isn’t actually much excitement there.

For some reasons this seem to be the less popular coach? Only first-timers (who can afford it) would usually buy those types of tickets.

Recurrent passengers would pick up other coaches, not because it’s too expensive but because this coach is “kinda boring” 

Coach 3&4 - business-class seat coach

Those two coaches are managed by three persons: a married couple and another woman (who seems to be a close friend/sister of the wife?). All of them are wearing Tang dynasty clothes and they looked so classy in it! As if coming straight out of an ancient period drama.

The wife especially is very beautiful, she looks to be in her thirties but she’s actually the mother of the restaurant cook and the scary guy who is always scowling and whose job is unknown, and the adoptive mother of the bartender of the bar. She is also the grandmother of the two young waiters... which made her closer to sixty(”?!” “what is this witchcraft?” “Actually what kind of supreme good genes go through this family?!”)   

By the way... the other female attendant, her close friend? She is the other grandmother of the rich looking waiter in the restaurant car. And of fucking course she looked to be in her mid-thirty. (WTF)

This coach is actually quite popular? One of the reasons is of course because the two beautiful ladies attracted a lot of admirers.

But really like 70% of them are here because they want to witness the show. This coach is known as the scums lashing coach. If anyone dares to do anything improper or is particularly misbehaving, the two kickass ladies will strike them down either with their sharp tongues or with their even sharper martial skills (if the person in question tries to use force) .

It doesn’t matter if the opponent is a 2 meter mountain of muscles, they will knock them down as if it was a troublesome fly.

Regulars with particularly scummy acquaintances  would book this coach tickets hoping that they will act out of hand and be taught a lesson.

Misbehaving and very rude passengers from other coach will also be bumped up or down to the business class by the other attendants. Some of them are probably thinking that they are lucky.... but oh boy are they wrong.     

Meanwhile the husband is just serenely drinking tea in the background... Occasionally he’d ask if they need help getting rid of the trash on the floor.

Coach 5 to 8 - second-class seat coaches

Those coaches’ attendants are probably one of the weirdest combination of personalities.

There’s one man dressed in white who looked super innocent and clueless about basically everything. He is very kind and nice... but don’t try to ask him anything more that the layout of the rows.

Everywhere this man goes, there is always going to be another man looming behind him. This man is dressed completely in black and looks very serious and sorta gloomy. However his face will soften significantly whenever the white dressed man looks at him.

Another attendant from this coach is a blind young girl, carrying a walking stick. She is irreverent sometimes downright rude with a huge potty mouth and for some reasons she’ll always manage to whack the legs of the people making fun of her with her stick. And no assholes she doesn’t care if you want to go complain to her boss. 

And then there’s the psychopath. For some reasons right in the middle of showing you to your seat, or answering one of your question, he’ll randomly take out a knife a play with it, while smiling creepily and staring at you, as if he was picturing how you’ll look with your intestine out of your body.

At this point, the blind girl would smoothly walk over apologize, “I’m sorry he didn’t take his medicine yet.” and out of the blue she’ll whacked him hard in the head with her stick (hard enough that he lost consciousness). “here you go, please enjoy your travel.” Then for good measures she’ll kick him when he’s still down and walk away.

Also because those four coaches house most of the train seats, statistically speaking this is also where the vermilion guy will be. And so, more often than not, you’ll witness the train driver stomping forward and start a fight with the short guy. And whoa is it wild and aggressive. Despite behind a whole head shorter than the driver, he’ll still bite back without fear and words like “strangling to death” or “dismembering” would be throw around.

When it happens the blind attendant would heave a huge exasperated sigh and take out an electronic device before making a general announcement via the train speakers; “To smiley face, meat-head and his royal pain-in-the-ass dimpleness are causing trouble again, please come to couch 5 and deal with them before someone lose their heads because of their bullshits.”

Then less than five minutes later, the man dressed in white would stride in very peacefully, smoothly insert himself between the two fighters and then easily pick them up by the back collar, one in each hand, like particularly misbehaving kitten. (”WTF?!!!! How strong is that guy?!”) He’ll then proceed to walk toward the nearest cupboard and throw them in before locking it and placing a weird looking talisman on the door. (”.........” “Are you exorcising them? What the hell?”)

And for twenty whole minutes no sounds could be heard from the cupboard despite the periodic shockwave on the door as if someone was violently knocking on it.

Two minutes after the ‘knocking’ on the door stopped and then it was cut neatly in half. (”.....”) Allowing the two previously very aggravated people to escape from the cupboard. For some reasons though they looked significantly calmer (”Maybe they fought it out?” “Yeah, sure, that’s what happened”).     

Of course before anyone could react, a youth wearing heavy make-up ran in and wailed, “Nie-zongzhu why do you keep doing this?!! Don’t you know how to use the door? This is the tenth one this week.” The so-called meat-head: Ah... My bad. His royal major pain-in-the-ass dimpleness: Don’t worry, Xuanyu, the cost of the door will be deducted from da-ge’s pay... Though to be honest, considering his destructive track-record... he’ll probably need to be working here for more than three centuries before he’ll actually get any salary. You’d think he’ll learn some restraint after a while. The meat-head: You - Smiley face, smoothly taking both their hands and dragging them away: Okay you two, let’s go eat something. 

The non-specific coaches staff members:

As mentioned before there is exactly one (1) attendants wearing the attendant uniform. He is the most competent and proper staff member (not that it’s very hard, considering who are the competition) and probably the most reliable too (when he is not busy picking fight with huge saber carrying men or being locked up in cupboards). For that reason he is not in charge of a specific coach, but of all the passengers of the trains. His efficient and memory are kinda super scary... If you’re boarding the train in the morning, then rest assured that in the afternoon this attendant will know and remember your name, age, seat numbers, tickets numbers, Id number (from the ID Card that you showed him for like two seconds when he checked your tickets)  and food preference.

The staff member with the serene smile and dressed in white doesn’t seem to have a specific carriage either. The most likely coaches you might find him in are the 2 or 14 coaches (depending on which is closer to the driver), the bar (where he’ll chat with his brother), the coach no.13 where you’ll see him drink tea with his uncle. (This seem to be a huge family business? What’s up with all the kinship between the staffs?! Are they all connected to one another?) Or alternatively you’ll see him accompanying the most perfect employee of the century.

He seems very idle and doesn’t have a specific job? [His official job description entails dealing with NMJ and JGY’s foreplay quarrels and to keep things from turning too R18 rated in the bar... because the bartender and the guqin player are not trusted to keep their wandering hands to themselves in public]  

There is an attendant who is officially in charge of coach 2 or 14 (whichever is further away from the driver) but you’ll never actually see him there. Like he’ll stroll around in every other coaches except the one he is supposed to work in. And because he is dressing very casually you won’t even actually identify him as a staff member. He’ll smoothly insert himself into your passenger group and then happily chat with you. It’s only when the driver will barge in, dragging the attendant out to either “go do your fucking job” or “It’s time to train!” that they’ll realize that the one talking to them was a staff member.

So this attendant will come chat with you and somehow he know private information about you that he shouldn’t possibly know about and casually mention it the conversation, like “Oh, I heard your father got admitted to the hospital, is he better know?” or stuff that even you didn’t know about “Your boyfriend is such a dickhead for shitting on you with your brother.”

Afterwards it will lead to conversation like this: after the attendant had been dragged away “Oh I didn’t know your friend worked on this train!” “My friend? I thought he was yours? I actually never met him.” “Eh? Then how come he knew about your sister going to that concert tomorrow?” “I thought you told him!” “No I didn’t!” “...” “...”  

So scary.

So words spread around about that MDZS Express attendant who seems to know a lot of things and that he can be found in the second-class seat coaches. And so some people specifically book a ticket there to track him down and ask him information.

 But once they managed to corner him, his eyes would get very huge and he’ll frantically shake his head before hiding behind his fan, all the while crying “I don’t know!!! I really don’t know!”

His reaction was so intense that some would actually be taken aback... “Did we get the wrong guy?”

Then the attendant would flee and rush towards another one, “San-ge, please help me!!! Those passengers are bullying me!!!”

He got a very flat look from the ‘San-ge’ in question that seemed to say ‘Are we really still doing this?’, but even though this San-ge showed no sympathy whatsoever he still came to the passenger and told them “We are very sorry for not being able to help you. How about I bump you up to the business class coach as an apology? As a lot of passengers have sneakily tried to enter the business class areas by claiming to being bumped up by our staff members, we have established a password of sort. Once you reach the coach please make sure to find the lady wearing yellow and tell her ‘Don’t you think the dishwasher is an incompetent moron?’... She’ll take care of you. ” 

------------------------------------

Right so this got way longer than expected, so you’ll get the rest of the coaches (restaurants, bar, infirmary, sleeper coaches) in another part.

Like I mentioned above I wrote this in an “outsider” POV so most of the time I didn’t mention any names.... But did you manage to identify all the characters?

Also a lot of characters ‘working’  in the second half of the train have already been mentioned obliquely before. So you know more or less in which coach they are. The only one I didn’t mention is the infirmary... but well I don’t think it’s hard to guess who work there haha.