#with basic shit might I add. Not allowed to eat; not allowed to shower;

[bxnyi]

[fakesurprise]

I almost stopped as I entered the kitchen. Cai was sitting at the breakfast table, eating sugary cereal Dad almost never bought. Three bowls at been set out along with orange juice: Dad almost never did that on weekdays, even if it was a Friday. Cai glanced up with an easy smile, waving his spoon to the old fridge against the wall.

I could hear Opal showering upstairs, and there was no yelp of shock so I almost certain Cai hadn’t done something magical, but the fridge has no notes or pictures on it: someone had taken the time to get a lot of mismatched magnetic letters and leave a note for us.

That Dad had done this rather than print a note or text us said something, but I had no clue what. Cai didn’t look worried, but Cai was really good at that. When your personal magic functions akin to luck, you do get to be pretty zen. As far as I knew, Cai had never been hurt and no magic seemed to affect him. A news report when he was two had led to mom and dad adopting him, which also wasn’t unusual: most magical families adopted spontaneous magic into them to keep everyone safe.

Opal and I weren’t adopted, not that we cared. Opal had been furious when was two and realized her skin would never look like ‘honey’ like Cai’s had had been angry with our parents for over a month, something she still got teased about. She made up for it last year when she casually described Cai as ‘Brazilian Shaggy’ to a stranger, and that had even reached our high school and stuck around.

I walked over to the fridge and studied the note Dad had left.

He’d taken the time to mix sets and make it neat. Definitely worried, and trying to hide it.

Kids: Mom is at Work at the next 4-5 months. Don’t expect to see her often. Even I don’t know the basics of the situation, but it’s Big. I’m dealing with tax issues at work for the Spring Equinox. Have put money into your accounts to cover needs, have grocery deliveries set to arrive every 3 days on my visa. Add things as needed, call when you need to.

Have work event this weekend.

Expect some pushback at school. Try not to cause or be problems?

Love and apologies, Dad.

The other side of the fridge had written upon it:

Cai: formal dinner to meet Luka might have to wait a bit; apologize for us?

Gemma: keyed things to you; maintain and change what you need. Keep an eye for oddness?

Opal: Mom might need your aid at some point; don’t strain yourself.

I walked over to the table, accepted the bowl of sugary fruity cereal Cai poured and sat down. “Shit.”

He raised two thin, perfect eyebrows.

“I’m allowed to swear, remember. I didn’t turn the house wards brown.”

Cai laughed. “It only lasted six hours at least,” he said, light and soft as ever. “Nothing additional from Mom or Dad?”

“Not to me.” I paused for a few bites. “Has Dad ever told us to expect pushback from Mom’s job like that?”

Cai considered that, then slowly shook his head. “When your job involves turning over stones, there are many who dislike what is found underneath? It’s not as if mom is even allowed to tell us what she does for the government, but I always assumed that was to protect us?”

“Not the government?”

“I think our government protects itself well. At least compared to normal ones?”

I shrugged. Mom kept most of her work secret from us, but her personal magic means she can’t be lied to, and privately I was sometimes happy mom wasn’t home often to grill us about classes, partners or grades. Most of the job of the magical government was making sure mages didn’t hurt ordinary people – or each other – unduly, and keeping magic quiet.

A few of my friends considered me odd, but I didn’t think most of my normal ones actually knew I did magic. It helped that most magic was far less impressive in the normal world, and that the universe in general pushed back against magic. For most people it was old stories or over there, and not really a problem. Which mostly worked out for the best for everyone.

Annie – one of my oldest friends, who had moved away last year – had known, and we kept in touch. She’d discovered Opal was a seer when Opal casually mentioned things she couldn't have known, and I’d admitted my family used magic. Annie hadn’t been too fazed by it: she had relatives who had got deep into Amway, and her one uncle had been part of a cult once. Every family had their own weirdness.

Opal came downstairs quickly, not missing a step. Seers don’t miss things like other people do, not that I envied her. It was just past seven and she already had sunglasses on from a migraine that would happen later. I did envy that she took after mom: blond hair, thin, the same pale eyes and cheeks that were almost as impressive as Cai’s.

I took after dad: solid, the build that says ‘this person could play Football if they wanted’, brown hair and eyes. Compared to my brother and sister I looked ordinary, which I’d come to see as a blessing more than anything else. My magic wasn’t one I used, but I excelled at formal magic like Dad did. Wards, protections, the use of bell, book and candle. You don’t think of not standing out as a gift until you see what standing out does.

Didn’t mean I was always happy with it, but I’d had seventeen years to get used to being me. Some days I was even good at it.

[tobesolonely]

muse

A/n: hello everyone!! im very excited to put this out :-) i was going to make a long one shot but ive never written anything multi-part before and i wanted to give it a go!! also my first time with an oc 🌟so i hope everyone enjoys!! not sure when the next part will come out but i wanna upload at least once a week or every two weeks or something idk haha but anywayssss lmk ur thoughts!

biggest, biggest thank u to my love @harryysstyless​ for beta reading and being so encouraging<333 luv u!!

photographer oc x harry styles

please let me know your thoughts on miss aminah, iman, serena, and harry!

my ko-fi! thank you :)

Los Angeles was your newest muse.

You had always been the spontaneous type. It came as no shock to your family and friends when you told them you had purchased a one-way ticket and were moving across the country. Although your parents weren’t too keen on the idea of their daughter moving so far away from them, they helped you withdraw your savings and find a modest apartment in LA before sending you on your way.

Your reason for moving to LA was simple, really. You were a freelance photographer that felt your career was growing rather… stagnant. You had a thick portfolio and were proud of the work you produced, but your clientele wasn’t as impressive as you’d hope it would be after nearly six years of working at it.

And so began your desire to move from New York to Los Angeles— one big city to the next.

People who knew you often described you as ambitious, fiery, and an absolute go-getter. If your big move scared you in any way, no one knew any better. Your confidence never faltered— not even in the slightest.

After nearly three months of being in LA, you developed a routine of sorts. You’d wake up, eat a breakfast that almost always consisted of avocado toast and coffee, and go on a run. After your run, you would come home, shower, and decide how far you wanted to venture to take pictures that day.

Sometimes your roommates, Serena and Iman, would join you to keep you company. Although you’d never met either one of them before answering their ad for a roommate on Craigslist, you had grown extremely close to the girls in the few months that you’d known them. Despite the two girls being friends since their childhood, they never made you feel left out, and you fit in with them effortlessly.

During your short time in the city, there were so many places you had been, but still, even more you had yet to see. Serena and Iman, both native Angelenos, would often suggest spots for you to check out and even offer to drive you around— you were from New York after all, and at twenty-four years old, you were still not the owner of a driver's license.

“You’ve never been to North Hollywood yet, right Aminah?” Iman questioned as you all lounged around, trying to come up with a place you had not yet been.

“No, I haven’t really gone anywhere farther than walking distance,” you reply, looking around the cramped living room for your camera bag. “Or the places you guys have driven me. That was still considered Downtown though, right? Where we went the other day?” You were still getting used to how absolutely massive Los Angeles was.

“We should go to Santa Monica or something— wait, Malibu!” Serena exclaims. “We have to go to Malibu, Mina. It’s so nice there, you could totally get a bunch of good shots.”

“Yeah, we might even see a celebrity!” Iman chimes in, stifling laughter.

It was an on-going joke between the three of you. When you first moved to LA, you told your roommates that you couldn’t wait to make your way around the city because you were hoping to run into a celebrity. It was Los Angeles after all— you figured they were everywhere.

You quickly learned that wasn’t the case. Celebrities here kept a low-profile and even if you did encounter a celebrity, it’s not like you would approach them. “You’re not funny, Iman,” you tell your roommate with a roll of your eyes.

“Yes I am,” Iman quips, wiggling her eyebrows. “If we’re gonna go to Malibu then I gotta change. Can I borrow a cute shirt from anyone?”

A short twenty minutes later, the three of you were piled in Serena’s car on your way to Malibu. You’d heard of the city before and knew it was a wealthy area, but that’s about it. Your roommates promised you that out of all the beaches in LA, Malibu had the nicest ones, and lots of places to take pictures. Since none of you had anything to do, you all decided it was as good a day as any to have a beach day and get some shots of your roommates to add to your portfolio. Since you didn’t know anyone except Serena and Iman, the pictures on your camera from the last few months consisted entirely of nature and inanimate objects. While it was good practice, you really preferred to photograph actual people.

“Traffic is so bad today,” you say from the backseat after traveling approximately two feet in five minutes. Iman snorts from the passenger side.

“When isn’t traffic bad, Mina,” she turns to look at you, an amused look on her face. “Don’t worry about it. It always gets backed up at this fuckin’ exit and then as soon as we get past it there’s like, zero traffic.”

“Right! I always complain about how shitty this exit is. I have no clue who designed it,” Serena adds, skipping through songs on her playlist. “It’s still early in the day, though. I’m just hoping the beach won’t be too crowded by the time we get there.”

“I don’t care how crowded the beach is. I just don’t want it to take us forty minutes to find parking…”

You tune out your roommate's voices, instead choosing to focus on the traffic jam outside the car. To Serena and Iman, people who were born and raised in Los Angeles, the city wasn’t necessarily anything special. Sure, they loved how there was always something to do, but the bad drivers, traffic, and smog got old. The novelty of LA hadn’t yet worn off to you, though. You didn’t know how your roommates were content to sit inside the apartment all day when there were tons of things to do basically right outside your doorstep. You felt like you were the one convincing them to go out with you half of the time, and you didn’t even know where you were going.

After what feels like almost entirely too long but was really only half an hour, Serena pulls into a fairly empty parking lot. “Are we not allowed to be here?”

“Why do you think that?” Iman asks, squinting her eyes to read a sign. “It doesn’t say it’s closed. I mean, there are a few cars–– look.” She points to a few cars scattered around the parking lot.

“I mean, it is nine in the morning on a Wednesday. People are probably at work,” you tell the two girls in the front seat. “Besides, there’s someone in the parking booth. Can you even close a beach?”

Serena drives forward, rolling down her window. “I mean, I guess not. You can close the parking lot, though.” You hum in agreement. She quickly pays for parking and tosses her receipt on the dashboard before driving slowly through the parking lot.

“I love when no one’s at the beach,” Iman sighs, clapping her hands. “No one will get in the way of your picture-taking either, Meens.”

You smile at the nickname. “Yeah, that’s true. We picked a perfect time to come too, guys. The lighting’s great.”

“Really? Is it gonna make my skin pop?” Iman turns around and sticks her arm out, sensually running her fingers along it.

“You always look good no matter what the lighting’s like, Iman,” you reply, refraining from rolling your eyes at her. “You have the glowiest complexion out of all of us.”

“We’re literally all the same skin-tone, Aminah,” she retorts, crossing her arms.

“We have different undertones, though,” you answer. “So not really. Plus, Serena is way lighter than us! What are you talking about?”

“Should I park here?” Serena asks, interrupting your conversation.

“Why here? All these empty spots and you wanna park directly next to this car?”

“This is a good spot, Iman. It’s a parking lot. If they didn’t want anyone to park next to them, they should’ve taken an Uber and got dropped off.” She turns into the spot, quickly putting the car in park and crossing her arms to prove her point.

You unbuckle your seatbelt, smiling at your friends’ bickering. They were so close they were basically sisters. They argued sometimes and were quick to call the other out on their shit, and you loved it.

“I just think you’re weird for parking next to this car. It’s a nice car.”

“Who cares, girl?” Serena groans, exasperated. “We’re gonna be on the beach. They’ll probably be gone before we will.” She pops the trunk before unplugging her phone from the aux cord and stepping outside. Iman mimics her before flinging the door open as well and stepping out of the car.

You make sure your camera bag is closed all the way before situating it over your shoulder and climbing out of the car as well.

“It’s kinda cold,” Iman says, wrapping her arms around her body. “If I knew it would be so overcast I would’ve bought a jacket.” Serena hums in agreement and you look up at the sky, unphased.

“It’s like, seventy degrees?” you look at the weather app on your phone in confirmation.

“We get it, Meens. You’re from New York,” Serena teases, closing her trunk. She hands you a few towels and a blanket to carry while she rolls the cooler and Iman carries the beach chairs and umbrella.

“It’s a cold seventy degrees and you know it,” Iman defends. “Look at my goosebumps. I can’t fake this shit.” You shake your head at your overly dramatic friends and follow them down to the beach. You take off your sandals as soon as you’re off the pavement, wiggling your toes in the cold sand.

“We can set up pretty much wherever we want,” Serena points out, tucking flyaway curls behind her ears. “Where do you think the best place to be is, Mina? Y’know, so you can get good pictures?”

“It doesn’t really matter, to be honest,” you tell them distractedly, too busy looking around the beach in awe. Your friends were right–– out of all the beaches you’d visited in Los Angeles so far, this one was the nicest (and cleanest). “Maybe we can get a little closer to the water?”

The three of you walk for a couple of minutes before Iman abruptly stops, dramatically dropping everything she was carrying. “Let’s just set up here. There’s no one around anyway, it doesn’t matter.”

“There actually is someone around,” you tell them, looking at a stranger who seemed to be fixated on staring at you and your friends. “Don’t look, but a cute guy is staring at us.” Serena and Iman immediately turn around, shading their eyes from the bit of sun that was starting to peek through the clouds. The guy couldn’t have been more than twenty yards away from where you were setting up.

...“Huh,” Serena says, turning back around. “Is it just me, or does that guy look a lot like Harry Styles?” She looks back over her shoulder again, but he’s no longer staring at the three of you, focusing on what appeared to be a book instead.

“Why would Harry Styles be at the beach by himself at nine in the morning?” Iman asks, unfolding a beach chair and flopping down on it.

“Why wouldn’t he? It’s Malibu, dude,” Serena responds. You could tell your friends were about to start bickering again, so you quickly jump in.

“Doesn’t matter. Neither one of you would go up to him even if it was, so what’s the point in arguing about it?” They both raise their eyebrows at you.

“And you would, Mina? Bullshit!” Iman exclaims, laughing. “I dare you to go see if it’s him, and if it is, ask him if he wants to join us.”

“That’s weird! What if it’s not him?”

“Even if it’s not him, we’ll still get to hang out with a cute boy.” Iman points out. Serena nods in agreement and you can’t deny that she makes a convincing argument. “Just ask him if he wants a mimosa or something!”

“No, don’t ask that,” Serena interjects. “Tell him that you’re a photographer and you’re working on building a new portfolio. Ask him if he would be cool with you photographing him.”

You narrow your eyes at her. “Are you sure that’s not weird, Serena?”

“Aminah, trust me. I wouldn’t deliberately let you make yourself look weird.” Your roommate reassures you.

And so you found yourself clearing the short distance to where the handsome stranger was laid, half hoping it was Harry Styles, half hoping it was not. You couldn’t act like you weren’t a fan of him–– you thought he was incredibly attractive and enjoyed his music just like most people. If Harry Styles was the first celebrity you encountered during your short time in Los Angeles, you‘d never stop talking about it. Ever.

When you’re almost to him he looks up, dog-earring the page he’s on. After making eye contact with him, there’s no mistaking that this is Harry Styles. You pinch the back of your hand, urging yourself not to freak out. He has a knowing look on his face and you’re grateful for your darker complexion that hides your blush.

“Hi,” you speak first, stopping a few feet away from him. “Uh, my friends and I are just uh, we’re... you know.” You internally wince at your inability to form a coherent sentence. His gaze never breaks from yours and you look away first, growing shyer by the second. If you thought he was beautiful on Instagram, he was even more gorgeous in person. It was incredible.

“Hi,” he finally says after a brief moment of silence. “‘M sorry if I was starin’ at you ladies a moment ago. I jus’ usually never see anyone else this early out here. Are you a photographer?”

You almost ask him how he knows when you realize your camera is still hanging around your neck. “Oh, yeah. Yeah, I am.” He’s still staring intently at you.

“Would you like to sit?”

You look over your shoulder at Serena and Iman who were pretending to be preoccupied putting on sunscreen, but you know they were waiting for you to come back with the man you now knew to be Harry Styles.

“Oh, my friends are waiting for me,” Harry looks up at you patiently, waiting for you to continue speaking. “I was actually going to photograph them. I’m working on building up my portfolio. I understand if you can’t for… I dunno, legal reasons? Or if you just don’t want to–– and that’s fine if you don’t, but would it be okay if I photographed you as well?”

“That actually sounds like a lot of fun. It’s kinda boring jus’ readin’ out here on my own,” he agrees quickly, surprising you. Harry stands up and stretches a bit before leaning down to gather up his blanket, towel, water bottle, and book. “What’s your name? I’m Harry.”

You know that Harry knows that you know exactly who he is, but the fact that he introduced himself to you makes him even more endearing. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Aminah.”

Harry extends his free hand to you. “It’s very nice to meet you, Aminah.” You love the way your name sounds coming out of his mouth.

As you approach Serena and Iman, their eyes go wide when they realize it really was him. Serena nudges Iman and you know without even having heard it that she’s saying, “I told you so!” Harry stops a bit behind you, smiling at them.

“Hello,” he starts. “S’okay if I join you ladies? Aminah here extended such a nice offer that I jus’ couldn’t pass it up, but wanna check with the two of you first.”

Serena’s mouth is shamelessly hanging open, and you realize that she may have been a bigger fan than she let on. Iman answers for them. “Of course! Mina’s building her portfolio and I bet it would look like, super cool, if you were a part of it!” Harry nods, setting the few things he had with him down.

“I don’t think I would even be the center of attention if ‘m sittin’ beside you beautiful ladies. I’ll jus’ act as a prop or something,” he flashes them a dimpled smile. “If you don’t mind me asking, what are your names? I’m Harry.”

“We know,” Iman answers a little too quickly. “I’m Iman and this is Serena.” Serena gives him a timid wave.

“Well, it’s very nice to meet you all. Are you guys from around here?” He lays his blanket beside all of your stuff and sits down cross-legged, not once breaking eye contact with any of you. You had no idea how he did it.

“We live Downtown. We’re only over here so Mina could get some good pictures, she’s a photographer,” Iman answers proudly. “She’s amazing, but she’ll never admit it.”

“Iman…,” you trail off. “Stop, dude.”

“It’s true,” Serena jumps into the conversation, now seemingly over the initial shock of who was sitting barely two feet away from her. “She’s the best photographer I know.” Harry turns to look at you, an amused look on his face.

“That’s a hefty claim. I can’t wait to see your photography skills, Aminah.”

“They’re just hyping me up,” you reply, making a mental note to yell at your friends for embarrassing you once the three of you were alone again. “I’m not that good.”

“That looks pretty professional to me,” Harry says, gesturing to the camera that has not yet left your neck since arriving at the beach. “I bet you’re just as good as they say you are.” You look away, hiding your face. Iman, being the wing woman she is, can tell you’re growing flustered from all the attention and moves the conversation away from you.

“Do any of y’all want a mimosa?” Before anyone can even answer her, she’s popping open the champagne and handing the orange juice to Serena to open. Harry politely declines, as he drove himself to the beach that morning. You and Iman are ultimately the only ones who indulge in a drink since you were the only ones not driving.

Talking to Harry was like catching up with an old friend. He wanted to know everything about the three of you and whenever he felt the conversation was becoming too much about him, he quickly changed the subject. Harry learned that Iman and Serena have been friends since the second grade when Iman pushed some boy off of the monkey bars for teasing Serena. He learned your favorite take-out spots, your favorite bars, and what freeways Iman and Serena tried to avoid at all cost (it was the 405, which he agreed with). What seemed to intrigue Harry the most, though, was him learning that you just moved from New York and had never even been to Los Angeles before moving.

“Why did you pick somewhere all the way across the country that you’d never even vacationed at before?” He had a look of confusion written across his face. You shrug, not really knowing the answer.

“I mean, I’ve seen it on TV shows and in movies. That doesn’t count?” you joke. Harry still looks utterly bewildered.

“I mean… no?”

Serena laughs. “We were just as confused as you were, Harry. We were scared for a moment when she moved in because we were like, oh shit, what if she’s insane? You know? Like, what sane person would move all the way across the country to live somewhere they’d never even vacationed before?”

You let out an offended, “heyyyy”, lightly smacking Serena’s thigh. “I just needed a change and I’m a drastic person! I either go all-in when I do something, or I just don’t do it at all.” You defend yourself.

“I actually think that’s really fuckin’ cool,” Harry says after a moment. “Sometimes I wish I could just… up an’ go. Y’know?” you all nod, and it falls silent again. “Well, should we take some pictures now?”

Any intimidation you felt to photograph Harry disappeared as soon as he started posing for you.

Being that he was a major celebrity, he was no stranger to posing for a photoshoot. Harry was ethereal–– you knew the pictures of him would most likely require minimal to no editing. Serena and Iman also looked incredible, and you were thankful to have such gorgeous people as your muses. You were taking pictures of them in various places around the beach, only stopping once it started getting too crowded. There were starting to be too many people in the background of your shots and Harry wanted to get going, not particularly in the mood to be recognized. The three of you decide you should get going too. You had more than enough pictures to go through and besides, you were all starting to grow hungry.

Harry follows the three of you to the parking lot, keeping his head down the entire way. The closer you got to Serena’s car, the sadder you got. You didn’t want to stop talking to Harry and photographing him. However, you knew you were just in the right place at the right time, and it was likely that you’d never cross paths with him any time soon–– if ever again.

“Thank you for letting me photograph you,” you tell him sincerely once you were almost to Serena’s car. “That was really kind of you. I can promise you I won’t post them anywhere without your permission or like, disclose the location or anything like that.”

Harry finally looks up, determining you were far enough away from the crowds and he was no longer at risk of getting recognized. “It was my pleasure, really. Thank you for inviting me to hang out with you and your friends. It was a lot of fun getting to know you all.” You feel your body heat up.

“Where did you park?”

“Right there,” Harry points straight ahead. “You?”

You let out a loud laugh, causing Serena and Iman, who was walking slightly ahead of you and Harry, to turn around and look at the two of you. “We parked right next to you! Iman was getting on Serena for parking next to you because the lot was pretty much empty when we got here this morning.”

Harry lets out a breathy chuckle. “I guess it’s fate that we crossed paths then, yeah?” You let out a quiet hum in agreement, stopping a few feet in front of Serena’s car. You hear her and Iman debating on where you should stop for lunch, but you were waiting to see what Harry would say next.

“Aminah? After you get a chance to look at those pictures, do you think you can send them to my manager? His name’s Jeff. I’d love to see how they come out.”

“Oh yeah, of course! Do you have his business card or something?” You were excited that Harry actually cared to see your work but based on the couple of hours you spent interacting with him, you learned he was just an overall insanely kind person.

“I can jus’ put his contact info in your phone? If you don’t mind,” his gaze falters, a sheepish look on his face.

“Totally! Let me just unlock my phone,” you dig in the pocket of your shorts, pulling your phone out and unlocking it with your face. You hand it over to him and while he’s looking down typing you glance over at your roommates who had shocked looks on their faces. You would explain to them later that he wasn’t giving you his number, just his managers, but for now, you’d let them think he was giving his number to you out of all people–– a total stranger.

Harry hands it back to you a few moments later, running his fingers through his hair. “Thank you again for such a great morning, Aminah. I’ll let you get goin’, don’t wanna hold you ladies up any longer,” he waves at Serena and Iman. “It was really nice to meet all of you. Hope to see you all again soon.” You notice that his gaze lingers on you for a moment when he says that, and you feel your body heat up for what must have been at least the tenth time that day.

The three of you watch as Harry unlocks his car and throws his items haphazardly into the passenger side before climbing in, slamming the door shut. His car starts immediately afterwards and he gives you a quick nod before quickly backing out of the spot, leaving. None of you say anything for a bit, just processing what just happened. Serena is the first one to speak, her hand on the handle of her car door.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Harry fucking Styles?” her voice raises at least two octaves and you know she’s about to have a mini freakout. “Did he ask for your number, Meens?”

“No dude, he just gave me his manager's number. He wants to see how the pictures come out after I edit them,” you tell her, opening the backseat of her car. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Uh, that’s definitely a big deal, Aminah. Stop being so humble,” Iman tells you, exaggerated annoyance lacing her voice. “Did you see how he looked at you? When he said, ‘Hope to see you all again soon’?” She puts on a terrible posh accent.

“You’re so annoying,” you groan, shaking out the blanket and beach towels before throwing them onto the seat. “Where are we gonna eat?”

Iman and Serena pile into the car as well, telling you about the three restaurants they were stuck choosing between. You hum distractedly, typing the name ‘Jeff’ into your contacts to see if Harry left a number and an email, or just an email. Your brows furrowed in confusion when you see the name is nowhere to be found in your contact list. You chalk up the mistake to Harry just forgetting to press ‘save’ after creating the contact and figure you can just find his manager’s contact information on the internet somewhere. As you’re scrolling back up through your contact list, your eye lands on a name that makes your breath hitch in your throat.

Harry Styles.

[potatotrash0]

Oh? You've been into Childhood alternative universes lately?*slides Mastermind Nagito file back and pulls seperate piece of paper out* Let's work with that. *sits in the worn down swivel chair that I imagine myself keeping in this hellscape of a fictional office* Now :).

Hinata and Nagito first met when they were six. Nagito was still sick at this time, so his parents were taking him to a doctor in a different country in hopes of being able to treat him. Nagito was sitting on a street corner waiting as some of the servants packed up the car for their plane trip, when he notices a little boy with the greenest eyes and the oddest cowlick crying on the other side of the street. When he goes up to the child to ask what's wrong, he sees the big scrape on his knee, and the busted skateboard lying next to him. Nagito offers a hand to him. "Komaeda Nagito. Need some help?" He says with a smile that wasn't yet tainted with anxiety and despair. The kid crying grabs the hand, still bursting at the seams with his tears, and manages to say "H-hinata Hajime." in a shaky voice. When Hajime's taken inside for a glass of water and bandages, and is able to talk in a less shaky voice, they make a fond promise to hang out when Nagito gets back.

When Nagito gets back from the "trip", Hajime is in absolute shock. This sweet kid who helped him without hesitation had to deal with all this... terrible luck. Hajime does his best to look up ways to feel better, gets a bucket of a water and a handful of chocolates ( drinking water can help stop crying and chocolate can give ranged waves of dopamine [if I remember right]- Hajime doesn't know what dopamine means but it was on a site to help sadness and shit and he's just doin his best), and heads to Nagito's house. He's allowed in, and when he eventually finds Nagito curled up in the corner of his room, he stupidly drops the bucket and chocolates in front of him with a grin. Nagito responds by crawling over to him and crying on his shoulder for seemingly hours, and Hajime lets him.

Nagito was glad he had someone who wouldn't judge him for his "good luck" now.

( afterwards, Nagito says that it was alright, that he heard the servants talking about how it was good luck, since he inherited a large estate, and Hajime says he heard his parents say the same thing, and they both agree that it must have been good luck, since everyone else said so, despite the countless bruises and tears that it caused. Neither of them realize that their views on luck were permanently obscured since then.)

They grow closer after that, and don't seperate once, not as they grow older, not as life beats Nagito inwards which each traumatic event and curls into his beliefs of hope, despair, and talent, not as Hajime realizes he can't save Nagito from himself. Which each day, they grow closer and closer to the hip, practically seamed to each other.

That is, until Hope's Peak academy came into the picture. Nagito and Hajime immediately jumped for whatever chance they had to get in (both reasons are personal, but more tied to the character- Nagito still desires to be amongst the greatest, while Hajime still desires to be remembered [mostly by Nagito, though he doesn't entirely realize that's why].), but when they're still separated by the two courses, that's ywhere the problem lies. You see, Nagito is still an insensitive dumbfuck that doesn't realize how his words affect other people, and when he keeps actively degrading the reserve course students even in front of Hajime, it takes a toll. Hajime starts believing that Nagito hates him because of his status as a reserve course student now, and between the pressure of all the bullshit that happens to him because of his status and now this bs drama, he's willing to pay a price for his affection once again. A price that'll be much too permanent for either's liking.

This is where I add the Kamakura project in. I'm sorry for this upcoming angst shit but I always find my way back here.

When Hajime is presented the Kamakura project, he thinks about being able to join Nagito in the talent course and that Nagito won't be hate him for it anymore. He thinks of Nagito showering him with hugs and praise for finally being able to join him and his classmates. He thinks of the joy it'll bring to Nagito and his parents- but mostly Nagito. He thinks of Nagito, Nagito, Nagito as he signs his name. He didn't think he'd be shoved into a pod. He didn't think he wouldn't be able to see Nagito ever again. As he dies, he thinks about the little boy who offered his hand to him when his other friends left. Nagito, Nagito, Nagito. Izuru is born thinking of this boy, and it sticks. Nagito, Nagito, Nagito. He doesn't stop thinking of him, even when Enoshima and Ikusaba appeared with their proposition of despair (a part of him told him to not do it, let Nagito keep his hope, this man he couldn't remember), even when Chiaki dies in front of him (he feels... guilty, about her death, but not exactly sorrow. he wonders if he'd feel this way if the sheep man died.).

Nagito realizes who Izuru was when he turned around to aim at him. He saw the cold, dead eyes of this man, and for a moment he saw the boy who remembered him and brought him water and chocolate to help him feel better. The one person Nagito thought couldn't be affected by his luck was gone now. This was how Nagito fell into despair.

They generally stayed together for most of the apocalypse, still attached to the hip, although it was... different now. There were no more subconscious handholding moments as they traveled through the streets. There was no more trying to stop Servant from berating himself. There was no more helping Hinata's injuries. No more ice cream "dates". No more... love, in their presence.

Izuru tells Servant about his plan as they sit together on the boat to Jabberwock. Servant is sitting in the other's lap, stroking their hair as they speak. He responds with expressing his excitement, and Izuru feels a wave of guilt wash over him, though he drowns it out immediately.

Hajime wakes up to see his best friend standing over him. "Hey, Hajime, are you alright?" Nagito says, with a smile tainted with fear and despair as he offers his hand to help him up. Hajime briefly feels a sense of Deja vu, and grabs the offered hand.

(I keep making these too long dkckakkflakfkalfk f u c k)

sobs.........every time you get to the kamukura project i just brace myself bc it hurts like hell 100% of the time without fail......but ahhhhhhh i love this.......

for a moment i thought this was gonna be childhood friends and mastermind komaeda and i nearly had a heart attack?? mmm i’m still buzzing with the ideas but i’ll put it under the cut

just like. hajime finding comfort in having at least one person to rely on in this bizarre situation. komaeda really does ground him, he realizes, but that stability seems to crumble beneath him during that first trial. watching nagito, someone he thought he knew so well, reveal that he had been the one behind this elaborate plan to get himself or someone else killed? there’s no way hajime could okay after that, no way he could look at him the same way.

and he doesn’t, but he doesn’t look at him completely differently either. this komaeda, someone who’s unstable and actively looks forward to the next murder, is still komaeda. he’s still the same guy who goes through whole novels like they’re picture books, who pokes at his food at meal times and has to be nagged at to eat. he’s still nagito. and even if he wanted to, hajime couldn’t find it in himself to just ditch the guy he grew up with for all those years.

so, he reaches out again. gets to know his childhood friend for a second time, relearning his beliefs, his likes, his dislikes. even discovers some things he never noticed before. in a way, they were driven apart, but also brought back together again.

and that’s part of the reason it’s such a shock to see komaeda in monokuma’s place during that last trial, grinning down at them. he looks and sounds like nagito, but he couldn’t be him. someone who put them through all this couldn’t be that same boy who helped him when he fell off his skateboard all those years ago......right?

all of this information, from the world being a simulation to his childhood friend being the one to basically kill all of their classmates, it all throws him off. not to mention that he might not even exist outside of this program. choosing between staying with someone who betrayed him twice over or disappearing entirely........can he even make a decision like that?

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

Hello! I’m new here. I’d like to request the boys, separately, with a cuddly girlfriend. Or just how they are with being affectionate/cuddling

Oh this has so much fluff potential! I hope you enjoy!!

The Lost Boys x Cuddly/Affectionate Fem!S/O

David

David doesn’t look like a cuddly guy. He wears all black, has an earring, and a bleached mullet. He, also, leads a biker gang and kills people nightly. There’s just something about that that doesn’t necessarily scream ‘cuddle me’! But when he met you for the first time and you enwrapped him in a big, tight hug, he knew he was going to keep you. You weren’t afraid of him, and, most importantly, you weren’t afraid to show how much you liked him. Even if you’d only just met him.

The attention. The worship. He absolutely lives for it. He loves how much attention you pay him, even if he doesn’t give anything back. It makes him feel like a king to be showered in so much love. 

Honestly, at the boardwalk, the most he’ll give you is an arm around the waist and he’ll purposely tease you by basically ignoring you otherwise. He loves how many lengths you’ll go just to get a smile from him. Just as you're about to give up, he’ll grace you with one of his irresistible smiles and ask, “Need something, sweets?” And you’re right back to showering him in attention. If you really, really give up, he’ll give you a kiss. That’ll usually get you back to your cuddly self

He’ll tease you for how much attention you give him. He’ll call you clingy and needy, but he never means it in a bad way. He thinks it’s cute, and god knows this boy is attention starved. Between Max and the nightly killings for however many years, it’s been a long time since someone has seen him and seen someone worth giving some genuine loving to. Not just sexual loving.

If you take it as a bad thing, he’ll make sure to keep you from becoming too insecure by kissing your knuckles or caressing your cheek. It’s more than his usual amount of attention, so you must be doing something right.

David doesn’t really give you attention back until you’re back at the cave. He has a reputation to uphold, but not in front of his boys. He’ll sit on his wheelchair and drape you over his lap. It’s the first time that night where he’ll be the one that’s holding you. He’ll hold your knee, rub your thigh, and smooth his hand down your side. He’ll use the close proximity to have easy access to your neck, where he’ll pepper kisses and whisper sweet words. He’ll tell you how cute you are, and hold you tight against him as the boys around him amuse themselves with their own shenanigans. 

The only time that you two will really, truly cuddle is in the nest he’s made you inside the cave. The wheelchair is great, but it’s hard to sit there for hours. Usually, the two of you will cuddle after one of your trysts. David will have a cigarette dangling from his lips as he reads, and he’ll have you lay your head on his chest. He’ll comb his fingers through your hair, almost as if he’s petting you. It’s why he calls you his kitten. To him, that’s exactly what you remind him of. When you fall asleep for the night, he’ll smile down at you and kiss the top of your head. He’ll set his book down so he can pull you closer, snuffing out the cigarette so he can bury his face into your hair and inhale your scent instead.

Dwayne

Dwayne is the definition of intimidating. He’s so tall that he looms over people most of the time, and it doesn’t help that he’s got a permanently stoic expression on his face whenever he’s talking to people that aren’t the boys. Sometimes, he’ll grace cute girls with a some smiles, but those are usually only the girls he wants to eat. When you two met and you immediately brought him into a hug, he had no idea what to do. He just kind of stood there.

Dwayne didn’t really understand what being touch starved was until he met you. He’s been murdering people for decades, the only parental figure he has is Max, and the boys aren’t exactly cuddling eachother twenty-four seven. They’ll rough-house and push eachother, but they don’t necessarily hug one another. The second you pulled away from your hug (it was like hugging a brick wall) his mind just kind of went wait, come back. He practically followed you around like a confused puppy after that. He hadn’t realized that he’d been missing anything until you gave it to him, and, as far as he was concerned, that was directly tied with you

He lets you touch him as much as you please. You can touch his face, hair, hands, and even his chest. Though, when you do the latter he may give you an arched brow and a small smirk. He doesn’t return the affection nearly as much, mainly because he doesn’t even know where to start. Once you two have been dating for awhile, he’ll start to get the hang of it. He’ll usually add on to whatever you give him or return it

You hold his hand? He’ll intertwine your fingers. You hug him? He’ll hold you so tight you think he might break you. You give him a kiss on the cheek? He’ll give you a forehead kiss. It’s the most affectionate the boys have ever seen him and they’ll definitely give him shit for it.

It’s why, even when back at the cave, he still won’t wander too far out of his comfort zone. He’ll let you do whatever you want, but he’ll really only reciprocate whatever you give him. The two of you will sit on the couch and he’ll hold your legs in his lap. Just the act of him touching your legs is considered more than normal, and he’ll lean his head against the back of the couch as you ramble to him.

When you two are back at your house, that’s when his walls truly fall down. The second you’re in bed with him, you’re not allowed to leave. This is when you really get to explore all of his boundaries, and he’ll truly just melt under your fingertips. You can braid his hair or give him a scalp massage, caress his face, and hold him as close as you want. He’ll practically be purring under your touch and you are not allowed to stop. He likes to face you while cuddling so he can kiss you as much as he wants. It’s a type of affection that he’s more familiar with. If you ever give this boy a massage, he’ll be clingy for days. He’ll look at you with so much love in his eyes and he won’t even care where you are when he pulls you in for kisses. The other boys be damned.

Marko

Markos the token wild card of the group. With a face like that and eyes as wide as his, you’d expect him to be an angel! Instead, he regularly murders people and gets into fights on the boardwalk. Seriously, he’s had to have his fellow vampires hold him back from destroying surf-punks right on the boardwalk. With a reputation like that, most people would avoid him. But not you. Upon meeting him, you gave him a big hug as a greeting. And, surprisingly, Marko hugged you right back.

Marko is the most affectionate of the boys. He even stands closer to the other boys and is always down for rough housing. But that doesn’t mean he gets a lot of positive touch. Most of the touching he gets is either play-fighting, actual fighting, or sexual touches from a cutie on the boardwalk before he sinks his fangs into them. To have someone walk up to him, see him, and decide “Must cuddle!” is not what he’s used to.

He openly welcomes it though. He uses physical affection to get his meals nightly. But you? You weren’t just flirting with him. You were just a cuddly person. He saw that in how you treated the others as well, and he quickly decided that you were going to be more than a meal.

He’s one of the only boys that will initiate a touch first. He’ll hold your hand, kiss your cheeks, and boop your nose. He thinks that you are too cute, and he’s not afraid to tell you. And when you match his energy, maybe even return the nose boop, he’s got heart eyes for days amd a smile so wide it’s almost concerning

He tunes out the boys teasing and dishes them back the cruelest revenge. He is so disgustingly cute with the PDA he gives you that the others have to look away. There, that’s better. Just because they’re no longer paying attention doesn’t mean it stops though. He wants kisses, cuddles, and pretty much everything you can give him. He doesn’t care if you’re in public! The public can frick off and he’ll pummel the first person that tries to get you two to pull away! You learn fairly quickly that that’s not an empty threat either

Somehow, he’s even more affectionate when you two are at the cave. This boy will straight up just lay on you. Whether that’s on the couch or in your nest, he doesn’t care. The two of you will giggle in-between kisses, and this boy will nuzzle your cheeks, hair, or neck. He likes to bury his face into your neck and inhale your scent as you play with his hair. He’ll wrap his arms under you and let out a content sigh when you kiss his ear, and he’ll reciprocate by pressing a kiss to your neck

He wants to cuddle all the time and as much as possible, and he’s happy he’s found someone willing to be as cuddly as he is. He’ll hold you all the time, even when you sleep. He may even try to find a way for him to sleep with you in the main room. If he succeeds, you two will effectively never have to be apart. Just how he likes it.

Paul

Paul is easily the friendliest of the boys. He’s got a care-free laid back attitude and he’s the chattiest of the four. He’ll strike up conversations with random people on the boardwalk, and he’s known to be a huge flirt. No one would expect him to be a murderer, especially one that commits utter atrocities nightly. They see him, and they think he’s just a regular, flirty teenage boy. When you hug him as a greeting, he’s overjoyed that someone was willing to make the first move. That’s exactly what he thinks it is. He reciprocates it with a flirty one-liner, and some touches of his own. However, they may not be as nearly as innocent.

When he realizes that you’re just a touchy person in general, he’s ecstatic. Finally, easy prey! He doesn’t need to worry about you slapping him because he got a little too handsy in public. He totally just sees you as a meal at first, even if the boys comment that the two of you seem to be getting pretty close. So what if he’s gonna eat you later? You can totally play with his hair! So what if you’re holding hands? He swears that he won’t get attached! No, he did not just give you his jacket as a completely romantic gesture. It’s just because he thought it would look cool and you were cold! Not because he’s scent marking you! Okay, he’s totally into you and totally attached. By the end of the night, you two are practically dating already.

Like Marko, he doesn’t care if you two are on the boardwalk or not. He wants affection and he wants it now. If it’s not given to him, he’s not afraid to whine, pout, and act like the biggest baby on the planet. Luckily, you’re super affectionate even with just your friends. With him, he gets to enjoy a whole onslaught of attention. He’ll grin and smile as you caress his face and play with his hair, and he’ll give you kisses every time he thinks you’re acting too adorable for him to handle

His brand of affection is far more flirty. He likes to pinch and grope, but it’s just how he shows that he thinks you look hot. He’ll reach down and fondle your butt, squeezing it like it’s a stress ball. He’ll totally makeout with you in public, and you have to be careful with this boy. He’s not afraid to pick you up, plop you on the railing, and totally stick his tongue down your throat in front of the Santa Carla locals.

If you go back to the cave, it’s hard to keep his hands off you. He’ll do his absolute best to climb on top of you, and the moment you’re under him his lips are on yours. Sit in his lap? Babe, you’re just asking to end up scarring the others. You’ll be in the middle of having some time with the boys, sitting in his lap and innocently playing with his hair. All it takes is for you to scratch one little sweet spot, and then he’s grabbing you and pining you down on the couch. What? What’d he do? Is exactly what he’d ask when he gets a chorus of “Jesus, Paul”

If you two lay in your nest, you’re asking for a couple of rounds to take place. Why else would you be on a bed? He likes to hold you from behind for more reasons than one. First, he gets to have your butt pressed up right against his special place. Second, he loves how he can completely envelope you in his arms. He gets to pull you close and kiss the back of your neck. Maybe even your cheek. Was that a non-sexual form of affection? Good thing you were asleep so you couldn’t notice.

[tomhardysteeth]

Tattooed

[ao3] Eddie Brock/Venom 5.9k words

Eddie.

“Hmm.”

Tell me what this is.

Eddie shifts in bed and blinks himself awake with a groan. Venom is at his right hip, tendrils like small streams of water passing curiously over his skin. Eddie used to wear pajama pants and a t-shirt to bed each night, but his temperature runs hot with Venom inside him so he started wearing just a pair of gym shorts instead, and now he’s regretting it. 

 “Venom. I’ve told you this. Stop waking me up for stupid shit.”

The tendrils press insistently into Eddie’s skin, which tickles a little bit. You slept long enough.

“That’s not the—what are you even doing?” Eddie props himself up on his elbows and looks down at where Venom is pressing into the tattoo on his abdomen. “Oh. It’s a, uh—I got it after I proposed to Anne. It says ‘til I die AW,’ which, you know, in hindsight, is, uh…”

A long silence passes before Venom says, What do you mean you “got it”?

“What—what do you mean what do I mean? It’s a tattoo.”

Venom spreads out over his body, crawling itself up over the tattoos on his sides, chest, arms and back. Are these also called “tattoos”?

“Can’t you read my mind, man? You’ve been inside me for several weeks, you’ve gotta know what a goddamn tattoo is by now.”

That is not how it works. Explain to me what a tattoo is.

Eddie groans in frustration. He sits up on the side of the bed and grabs his phone from the nightstand, checking and deleting emails like he compulsively does each morning. He is going to lunch with Anne today, but other than that, his schedule is free. 

Eddie.

“Look, I’ve actually been thinking about getting another one, so, uh, maybe I’ll make an appointment and then you can see—”

Anne’s skin is not like this. Do only some people wear tattoos as part of their bodies? 

“Um, hmm. Well, yeah, only some people have them. But they’re permanent. Once you add them to your skin, they stay there.” Eddie stands up and stretches his back out before heading into the bathroom for a shower. 

He can feel Venom still exploring his tattoos, the symbiote moving its liquidy strands in such a meticulous way like it’s tracing each tableau: the wolf on his left forearm, the numbers near his right clavicle, the corvid over his left pec, and so on until Eddie is so mesmerized by the feeling that he spends several minutes in the shower just standing completely still as cold water pours over him.

Venom nudges him out of his trance, merging itself with the muscles of Eddie’s legs to get him to move and sending hunger signals to his brain.

“Hey, no taking over without my permission, how many times do I have to tell you?” Eddie says, annoyed as he awkwardly jerks his legs in a fruitless attempt to regain control. 

This is our body, Eddie. 

“No. No, there’s my body and there’s your body, and whichever one of us is driving is the one in control.” Eddie stops and tries to work out what he means. “That’s me most of the time, in control.”

A tickle runs through Eddie’s whole body, which means that Venom is laughing. Even so, it cedes leg muscle control back to Eddie, allowing him to get dressed before going to the kitchen.

I keep you alive. If I left your body, you would die very quickly.

“Yeah, well, so would you, so I’m not sure what your point is.”

Venom pulls part of its body out of Eddie and floats its head directly in front of his face. The first few times it did this, Eddie felt terrified and found Venom repulsive. Now, he feels a begrudging fondness for it. He thinks it probably has to do with the kiss they shared in the woods, but in general he tries not to think too hard about that.

You do not know the things I do for you, Eddie, Venom says, slowly.

Eddie blinks. “OK. Uh, I don’t really—don’t give me more information than that, please.”

Venom just smiles with all its teeth in response, then it turns toward the fridge and coaxes Eddie into making a heinous breakfast. 

Eddie tries to get some writing done before his lunch with Anne, but Venom is more active than usual as it continues its ministrations of his tattoos, so Eddie impulsively calls the artist he always goes to, Marie, and asks her if she can fit him in by the end of the week. She tells him he can come in later that afternoon if he wants, since she had a last-minute cancellation. Eddie has been going to her for years, so she has several of his designs ready and waiting. 

Eddie meets Anne at an Indian restaurant across town, one of their favorite date-night joints when they were still together, and the only difference now is that they don’t sit on the same side of the booth anymore. 

Anne greets Eddie with a hug and comments on how warm he feels.

“You say that every time,” Eddie replies with a small laugh as they break apart. He removes his leather jacket before taking a seat. 

“Well, you’re just always feverishly warm. I don’t know how it doesn’t bother you,” she says as she sits across from him.

“I mean, it does bother me sometimes. I only take cold showers now. And I sleep mostly naked.”

Anne raises her eyebrows at him. “Mr. I-have-to-shower-and-change-into-PJs-immediately-after-sex sleeps naked now?”

He smiles at her. “Yeah, alright, I deserved that.”

A server comes by to take their drink order. Anne makes a face when Eddie orders water.

“You never drink water.”

Now he’s the one making a face. “That’s not true. I used to drink water, uh, sometimes.”

“So what else is he making you do besides drink water?”

Eddie shifts in the booth. “Nothing. He’s just, um, mostly just irritating.”

Venom rumbles and slithers uncomfortably inside Eddie, clearly angry with his assessment.

“He’s been asking me about my tattoos today. He definitely doesn’t understand what they are.”

Anne laughs. “Does that happen a lot, him not understanding something basic?”

The server returns with their drinks and asks if they are ready to order, and just as Eddie is about to say no, Anne orders for both of them. 

Eddie pouts at her.

“What?” she asks after the server walks away. “We’ve been here a million times, I know what you like.”

She doesn’t know what we like.

“Yeah, uh, you know Vee’s appetite is a little different.” Eddie clears his throat. “Which means, um, my appetite’s a little different, too. It’s OK, I’ll just have to order more food. We eat a lot.”

“Are you sure you’re OK, Eddie?” She drops her voice to a whisper and leans across the table. “He’s not torturing you or anything, is he?”

Eddie imitates her, leaning across the table and narrowing his eyes as he says, “He’s inside me, Annie, so getting closer to me and whispering doesn’t mean he can’t hear you.”

Anne bats playfully at Eddie’s shoulder before leaning back again. “I’m just trying to make sure you’re safe, that’s all.”

Venom moves and twists its tendrils through Eddie’s body, coming closer to the surface of his skin before burrowing back down into Eddie’s muscles. It was an annoying sensation the first few times Venom did it, but now Eddie thinks of it like a cat repositioning on his lap—which, to be fair, was also annoying when Mr. Belvedere deemed Eddie worthy enough to sit on, but even so, thinking of Venom like a pet makes the alien seem like less of a nuisance. 

“Yeah, Annie, I’m safe,” Eddie responds softly. “We’re still, uh, just trying to figure out living together. It’s annoying, sometimes, but we’re working on it.”

“Is ‘living together’ the right term for it, though? You’re just...together. It’s kind of a big commitment, if you think about it.”

Eddie laughs and scratches the back of his head. “Yeah, which is why I don’t really think about it. But, you know, I don’t really have that much of a choice. If he leaves, I die.”

Venom moves in a way that feels like it is tightening inside Eddie, like all of its strands are taut, which Eddie’s body responds to antagonistically: he relaxes. 

“OK, so if you knew you wouldn’t die if he left, would you want him to leave?”

Venom simmers, angry.

“No,” Eddie answers honestly. “I mean, there are definitely things I would change, but…”

“You like the power.”

Eddie looks around, irrationally embarrassed that someone might overhear them. He nods shyly then takes a drink of water. 

“Oh, Eddie, you’re so predictable.”

“What?”

“You don’t like having your own power, you just like taking it from other people. Or, in this case, an alien.”

He leans back in his chair and defensively crosses his arms over his chest, tucking his hands under his armpits. “What are you talking about?”

“Your career. And now this.” She shrugs. “I just hope you sort it all out with Venom, is all. You’re irritable, like you were the first couple weeks after you moved in with me. Remember that?”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Yes, I remember because you won’t let me forget. This is different though. I’m not—um, I’m not in a relationship with Venom.”

“Aren’t you though?”

Yes.

Eddie swallows. “Not—it’s not—I can’t think of it that way, it’s too weird.”

“Yeah, probably. But it’s something you're gonna have to deal with eventually.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Eddie changes the subject after that, asking Anne about her work and about Dan. When their food arrives, Eddie immediately orders another entree and an appetizer and tries not to feel embarrassed about it. He could actually eat way more than that, but he won’t in front of Anne. Venom complains in his head, insists their bodies are still hungry, swirls its strands frantically around Eddie’s midsection to make its point, but Eddie just sets his jaw and ignores it. 

When Eddie tells Anne at the end of lunch that he has an appointment to get a tattoo, Anne just laughs and says, “Still the same old Eddie.” She pays for the meal, Eddie leaves a cash tip, and they walk out to his bike together. 

Feeling relaxed and brave, Eddie gives Anne a kiss on the temple as they hug goodbye. She doesn’t acknowledge it. 

On the drive over to the tattoo shop, Venom asks, How long will it take to win her back?

Eddie hates when Venom talks to him when he’s driving because although Venom can hear his voice no matter what volume he speaks, he can’t hear himself over the sound of the engine and the wind. “I told you, it’s not happening.”

But we like her.

“I know we like her, but she’s with Dan and you and I are, uh, kind of fucked up.”

I don’t understand. 

Eddie sighs. “Anne’s right. Like it or not, you and I are together—a package deal, so the chances of me having any kind of human relationship with anyone is just out of the question.” Realizing how depressing that is, Eddie tacks on, "Right now."

But Anne likes us. I think she would like being with both of us.

Eddie doesn’t respond. Surprisingly, Venom doesn’t push the issue.

At the tattoo shop, Eddie is greeted by one of the artists, Solomon, with little more than a curt nod and a waiver slapped down on the counter, which Eddie signs without reading. He then takes a seat out front to wait for Marie.

Your pulse has quickened. You’re beginning to sweat.

“Yeah, well, that’s because the guy that just helped us is my ex, and it did not end well,” Eddie whispers through gritted teeth.

Oh, like Anne?

“Stop playing dumb, you know what an ex is.”

Eddie watches as Sol greets another client. Despite having dated nearly a decade ago when Eddie was only in San Francisco for a six-month temporary gig, Sol still acts like it was just yesterday that Eddie chickened out on their relationship and told him he had to get back to his “real life” in New York. Not his best choice of words. 

Sol looks bigger every time Eddie comes to the shop. He is older than Eddie, has to be in his 50s by now, but he clearly still lifts as evidenced by the broad muscles of his back and the thickness of his tattooed biceps. His muscled chest tapers into a soft torso, his belly significantly more pronounced than when they dated. His beard looks thicker, too, a few fuzzy gray hairs mixed in with the black, and he is bald—has always been bald—and richly dark-skinned and six inches taller than Eddie.

You are still attracted to him.

Eddie clenches his fist against his thigh. “He’s still attractive.”

You are attracted to Anne, too. But Solomon looks very different from Anne.

“I don’t know if now is the best time for me to explain race and gender and sexuality to you.”

Anne is small, so I assumed you preferred someone smaller than you. But Solomon is—

Eddie ignores the rest of Venom’s sentence as Marie comes out of the back office and waves Eddie over to her workstation. Marie is rail thin and only ever wears baggy tank tops and baggy ripped jeans, and nearly every inch of visible skin is covered in colorful tattoos. 

“Did you pierce more of your face since the last time I was here?” Eddie teases as he takes a seat.

She swivels toward him on her stool. She has piercings everywhere: eyebrows, nose, lip, tongue, all over her ears, and a barbell through her sternum. “I’m sure I have, since you haven’t been here in forever, buddy. I was wondering what the hell happened to you.”

“Yeah, uh, I’ve been going through some stuff, you know how it is.”

She pulls her long black hair up into a bun on top of her head then grabs a stack of drawings off a table as she says, “My aunt told me you ate a dude in her store.”

Venom vibrates through Eddie’s entire body.

“You know no matter how many times you tell me, I’m never gonna remember you’re Mrs. Chen’s niece.”

Marie holds out three drawings for Eddie to pick. 

“Ah fuck, they’re gorgeous, Marie,” he says as he leans forward to get a better look. He points to the one in the middle, a partial skeleton of a rib cage and pelvis held together by nuts and bolts. “Let’s put that one on my left side.”

“You got it, bud.”

As Marie prepares everything, she says casually, “So you gonna tell me about the dude you ate, or?”

“Oh right, um, I have a parasite.”

Venom constricts inside Eddie, making the muscles in his arms and legs jump.

“It’s, like, an alien,” Eddie continues lamely.

Marie’s face doesn’t change. “Take your shirt off. So, can I see it? The alien? My aunt said it’s gnarly.”

Eddie pulls at the hem of his shirt and asks, “Do I have to take it all the way off?”

“Aww, poor little Eddie doesn’t wanna expose his cute body when his ex is right over there.”

I like her. I’m going to say hi to her.

“No, Vee, wait—”

It always feels like Eddie’s face is being sucked into a vacuum when Venom takes it over. 

Hi, Marie. Eddie and I are Venom.

Marie blinks. “OK, so. I think I understand why you ate a guy.”

Venom sticks its tongue out then relinquishes control back to Eddie.

“Goddamn it, I hate when he does that shit,” Eddie says with a nervous laugh, looking around the shop to make sure nobody noticed anything.

“You, like, straight up have an alien inside you, bud,” Marie says. “But for real, take your shirt off.”

Eddie complies, then turns over to his side so Marie can get started. She presses her gloved fingers against his skin and asks exactly where he wants it, how big he wants it, then she cleans the area. 

Venom stirs inside him, concentrating much of its mass in Eddie’s rib cage, where Marie is touching. What is she going to do to us?

“You’ll see, buddy, just be patient,” Eddie replies.

“Who you talking to, Eddie? Your alien?”

“Yeah, he talks to me. Constantly.”

Marie stands. “Ooh, sounds like that’s annoying. I’ll be right back.”

You think I am annoying.

“Yeah, we’ve established that already.” Eddie flips over to his back and crosses his arms over his bare chest. He has no qualms about his body, usually, but he does not like feeling exposed around an ex. 

I don’t think you are annoying. I still think you’re a loser, but I like you.

“Can you just—can we put a lid on this until we get home, please?”

Venom’s tendrils bury deeper inside Eddie before going still, which Eddie interprets as Venom doing its best to leave him alone.

Marie returns a moment later with a stencil, and Eddie turns back to his side without having to be asked. With the stencil in place, Marie leads Eddie over to the full-length mirror.

As Eddie looks at himself to make sure he likes the placement, he spots Sol in the mirror, managing equipment at his own workstation across the room and stealing a glance at Eddie. Eddie flushes, but not with embarrassment. More like pride. 

We can eat him if you’d like.

“No, Vee, we really can’t.”

He is looking at us. Do you think he still wants to be with you, Eddie?

“Why are you so nosy? Seriously?” To Marie, he says, “Looks perfect. Sorry I’m talking to myself.”

“What’s he talking to you about?” Marie asks as they walk back to her workstation. 

“Sol.”

“Oh, that’s awkward.” Marie sits on her stool and puts on new gloves. “If he’s in there with you all the time, how the hell are you supposed to have any privacy?”

“I don’t.”

Eddie, what is that? Why does she have needles?

“Calm down, buddy,” Eddie placates even as he feels Venom’s tendrils pull as taut as strings of a guitar inside his body. “This is what getting a tattoo is like, and we trust her.”

Marie laughs.

She is going to hurt you. 

“It’s OK.” Eddie’s entire body is rigid. “Can you please—loosen up a bit, Vee.”

It takes a moment for Eddie’s muscles to relax.

At the sound of the tattoo machine, Venom stirs but does not constrict again. 

“You ready?” Marie asks sweetly, machine poised over Eddie’s rib cage.

“Yep.”

At the press of the needle, Venom turns to liquid inside Eddie, concentrating into a single point and numbing his side completely. 

“Hey, hey, hey, no,” Eddie says.

Marie immediately stops. “What, what’s wrong?”

“Sorry, not you. Hold on a second.” Eddie flips to his back and looks down at himself. “The pain is OK. Don’t try to heal me.”

But it hurts you. She’s hurting you.

“I know that, but sometimes pain is...good. Just—hang out until she’s done.”

Marie doesn’t say anything, just waits for Eddie to give her the go ahead. She looks a little apprehensive as she presses the needle back to his skin.

After a few minutes, probably less than five, Venom swirls watery soft around Eddie’s ribs again, soothing the burned skin.

“Goddamn it, you’re doing it again.”

Marie stops. “Thank god I know about the alien, or else this would be a very strange experience for me.”

I don’t like feeling your body get hurt. I like your body.

Eddie sits up, groans, scrubs a hand down his face. “Venom. I am fine. Look at my body. This is how I got all the rest of the tattoos you love so much, by going through this pain. It’s not permanent, and it’s not even that bad. Please stop trying to fix it.”

Venom is quiet for a moment before saying, But why would you want to be in pain when I can fix it for you?

“I like this pain. I want to feel it. I’ll tell you what, if it gets to be too much, I’ll let you fix it. Deal?”

Fine. 

Eddie lies back down on his side.

“My god, Eddie, what the shit?” Marie asks.

“He should be OK now, you can go ahead,” Eddie replies.

Marie clears her throat and tentatively presses the needle against Eddie’s skin. The pain is a single small point, constantly moving, burning, tickling, unlike any other type of pain imaginable. Eddie relaxes into it.

“So, the alien likes your tattoos, huh?” Marie asks after a few minutes of silence.

“Yeah. He likes pretty much everything about me.”

“Well, that sounds totally healthy and normal.”

Venom moves the bulk of itself into Eddie’s shoulders and neck and settles there. I can feel that you enjoy this pain. I think I understand. 

“Anne said he and I are in a relationship,” Eddie says quietly.

“Gross, dude. He’s an alien living inside you, you can’t be in a relationship.”

“I mean, I get what you’re saying, but it’s not like I can be in a relationship with anybody else either. Kind of hard to be intimate with another human being when an alien is always talking inside my head and moving around inside my body.”

You don’t want to be in a relationship with anybody but Anne, though, and Anne understands us. 

“Huh,” Marie says. “That kind of sucks, buddy.”

I don’t know how many times I’m going to have to tell you this today.

“Hmm?” 

We should talk to Anne.

“He’s talking to you now, isn’t he? You’re not listening to anything I’m saying.” Marie stops the machine and wipes the wound. “What about sex? Like, if you tried to have sex with someone, would he pop out your face and get in on the action?”

That might be fun. We could try that.

Eddie’s heart drops to his stomach. “Um, let’s not—can we not talk about that right now.”

“Oh my god, are you talking to me or to him? What did he say?” Marie asks.

“Nothing.” Eddie laughs nervously. “And I’m not discussing sex with you, Marie, you’re, like, 20 years younger than me.”

“You dork, it’s not like you’re my dad.”

Does sex make you uncomfortable, Eddie?

Eddie buries his face in the crook of his elbow. His body wants to squirm, to escape this situation, but he has to remain perfectly still on his side. 

Venom doesn’t say anything else to him, but it spreads itself evenly across Eddie’s body and holds him in place, immediately turning Eddie’s embarrassment into a quiet calm. 

The tattoo takes another two hours for Marie to finish. It’s not very big, just about the same size as the Buddha up and to the right of it, but it is intricate and beautiful in a way that makes Eddie stare at it in the mirror for a solid minute and a half before Marie asks if he likes it or not.

“It’s gorgeous, Marie, thank you,” he says softly. 

Marie pulls out her phone and presses a hand to Eddie’s side to make him turn toward her so she can snap a picture. Venom moves swiftly against the touch, pressing through Eddie’s muscle tissue and pushing out through the surface of his skin exactly where Marie’s hand is.

“Oh geez, what’s that?” Marie asks as she snatches her hand back.

“I don’t know, he’s never done that before. Vee, what’s the deal?” Eddie touches the spot where Venom still lingers.

Just testing something out.

“OK,” Eddie says, annoyed. “You’ve got to communicate with me, buddy, you can’t just randomly touch people.”

Venom rumbles through Eddie’s entire body in a long-suffering sigh.

“Why does he want to touch me anyway?” Marie asks.

She’s been touching us for hours, I was curious. 

“He was, uh, curious,” Eddie repeats. 

“About what?”

Venom rumbles again.

“I don’t know! I don’t know, Marie, he’s an alien.” Eddie glances around the shop and catches Sol’s eye before Sol quickly looks away. “Can we just—how much do I owe you?”

Marie doesn’t ask any other questions about Venom even though Eddie can tell she wants to, and she doesn’t say anything when he leaves her a much bigger tip than usual, but she does roll her eyes as she takes the cash. Eddie heads quickly out of the shop and is standing by his bike about to strap his helmet on when a familiar voice calls his name.

“Oh, hey, Sol,” Eddie says sheepishly, moving his helmet to his right hip and avoiding eye contact as Solomon walks up to him.

Stand up straight, Eddie. You look weak.

“Seems like Marie was giving you a hard time,” Sol replies, his voice deep and smooth. “You doing OK, Ed?”

Eddie scratches the back of his head. Stop fidgeting. “Yeah, I’m alright. You?”

“Your phone number the same?”

Stop moving. 

“What?”

Sol tilts his chin down, making himself slightly more eye-level with Eddie. “I still have your number, if it’s the same. I’d like to use it.”

Eddie involuntarily laughs like an idiot. “OK, um, yeah, it’s the same. But, uh—”

“Good. See you later, Ed,” Sol says as he walks back into the shop.

Why did you let him talk over you? Why didn’t you stand up taller? 

Eddie feels heat creeping up his neck, into his ears, as he recalls his and Sol’s relationship: there was rope sometimes, and Sol teasing Eddie about being a brat, and Sol always being the one in control even when they were out in public together, and Eddie enjoyed every bit of it. 

Although Eddie is pretty sure Venom can see his memories when they flare so vividly, he still says out loud, “I didn’t wanna stand up taller. Not with him.”

You are a loser.

“Nah, this is different,” Eddie replies as he gets on his bike. “Sometimes it’s a choice to let someone else have, uh, control. Willingly giving up your own control, you know, that kind of thing.”

Like willingly feeling pain when getting a tattoo.

“Yeah, actually, kind of,” Eddie shouts over the roar of his bike as he pulls out of the parking lot and onto a main road.

Or willingly letting me take over your body.

Eddie grips the handlebars tighter and doesn’t respond. 

He stops by Mrs. Chen’s before going home, letting Venom pick out whatever it wants (two bags of frozen tater tots, a gallon of chocolate milk, three different kinds of chocolate candy and a family-sized bag of salt and vinegar chips) and enjoying Mrs. Chen’s reaction when Eddie shows her his new tattoo.

“My niece is very talented, but I still think most of your tattoos are silly.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Chen.”

Back at their apartment, Eddie sits on the couch and reads the news on his phone while Venom eats all the food with its head and two arms protruding out of Eddie’s right side. Venom shares the chips and one of the candy bars with Eddie. 

Eddie.

“Yeah, buddy.”

Your side hurts.

“Well, yeah, it’s gonna hurt for a while. Tattoos are like burns.”

Venom recedes back into Eddie’s body and slithers to his left side, swirling several small tendrils around the new tattoo. Is it still the good pain?

Eddie thinks about it for a moment before answering, “No, actually, it sucks.”

Venom soothes the pain immediately. Eddie closes his eyes and drops his head back against the couch; he didn’t realize just how much his side had been hurting. He reaches his hand down to cup his rib cage, and Venom responds by pulling tendrils out of his skin and lacing them with Eddie’s fingers, directly over the new tattoo.

“What are you doing, buddy?” Eddie asks even as he squeezes Venom’s inhuman fingers. 

Marie called you ‘buddy,’ and now you’re calling me ‘buddy.’ It’s annoying.

“Oh good, something annoys you. Now I’m not the only one in this relationship that’s annoyed.”

Relationship.

Eddie clears his throat but still keeps his fingers tightly wound with Venom’s. “You know what I mean.”

Internally, Venom pulses near Eddie’s rib cage like a deep pressure concentrated against his bones. I think I can recreate the pain of getting a tattoo.

“What?” 

You like the pain of the needle marking your skin. I can imitate it.

Eddie feels tense, his body rigid. “But—but why?”

Why not?

Eddie blinks. He can’t come up with a reason why not. He lets his fingers slip out of Venom’s grasp as Venom narrows one of its tendrils into an impossibly small point and presses Eddie’s side, gently at first and then speeding up as Eddie relaxes against the couch cushions. 

“What the fuck, Vee, that’s so weird,” Eddie says on an exhale. 

You enjoy it.

“Yeah. It’s weird as shit, but yeah, I do.”

Maybe we would be less annoyed with each other if we did more things that we enjoyed.

“Hey, I basically let you do whatever you want.”

Venom stops poking him. I’d like to eat more people.

“Oh yeah? Well, I’d like to have some privacy every now and then.”

Privacy? What do you need privacy for?

“I don’t know, like maybe if I had someone over and wanted them to spend the night.”

Venom moves up Eddie’s chest and wraps the bulk of itself around Eddie’s shoulders. You want to have sex.

Eddie runs a hand down his face then settles both his hands on his knees. “Yeah, well, a man has needs, and my needs aren’t exactly being met right now, so.”

Venom creeps up Eddie’s neck. I can help meet your needs, Eddie.

“I don’t know if—I’m not sure that’s a good—you know, I just—”

You want this. We can do whatever we want, Eddie. What’s stopping you?

“Well, um, for starters, you’re an alien. I don’t even know how we would…”

Venom materializes in front of Eddie, massive and solid, deeply black and muscled with a nearly fully-formed body connected to Eddie directly at his hips. It places one hand on Eddie’s side, near the tattoo, and its other on his shoulder. This body is close to what you humans look and feel like.

“No, um, not really, Vee.” Eddie puts his hands on the couch, not daring to touch Venom even though it is taking up so much space in Eddie’s lap that it feels against instinct not to put his hands near where its hips would be if it had them. “Do you even know or, like, understand what sex is? Is it something that you want?”

Venom grins and then sticks its tongue out, moving it slowly from one side of its mouth to the other. Yes. And yes.

“What? For real?”

Definitely for real.

Eddie sucks his bottom lip between his teeth and looks up and down Venom’s body, considering. “When you kissed me in the woods—”

Yes, I wanted to. Venom moves its head forward, its sharp teeth an inch from Eddie’s face. I want to now.

Heart hammering in his chest, Eddie relents and puts his hands on Venom’s sides. They almost feel like hips, but Venom’s body is more like liquid and string than muscle and bone. Eddie digs his fingers in. He tilts his chin up tentatively, presses his nose against Venom’s face before pulling back, looking at the alien curiously, then he turns his head to the side and slots his mouth against Venom’s. 

Eddie tries to move his lips like a normal kiss, but Venom’s tongue fills his entire mouth, and it somehow suctions Eddie’s mouth against its own, and it’s too much, not enough, and Eddie’s arousal stirs in him so quickly that he would laugh if he could. The most he can do is make strained noises in the back of his throat.

After a minute or so, Eddie loses all sense of control and begins bucking his hips up, but there is nothing for him to buck against since their bodies are too intertwined in his lap. So he scrambles for one of Venom’s hands while simultaneously undoing his fly, and Venom gets the gist and wraps its weird malleable fingers around Eddie’s cock without breaking their kiss. 

Venom’s hand morphs around Eddie’s cock, stretching and folding and weaving threads together until it feels like Eddie is actually fucking into a hole—not quite human, so not possible to define as any type of genitalia—and while Eddie thrusts his hips up, Venom constricts and relaxes around his cock in a steady rhythm all while continuing to fuck its tongue down Eddie’s throat. Then, impossibly, tendrils are everywhere, snaking around Eddie’s balls, caressing his skin, kissing his nipples, pushing into his ass—Eddie comes early.

Venom unwinds itself from around Eddie’s cock and releases his mouth. Eddie takes a deep breath, choking a bit as he realizes just how far down his throat Venom’s tongue was. Venom rumbles a laugh, licks Eddie’s face, then noses at his jaw as it fuses its mass against Eddie’s skin like a moving blanket. There is a feminine quality to Venom’s movements, which Eddie struggles to rationalize with his skewed view of the alien as a hulking beast that rips and bites people’s heads off. He decides it’s time to stop assigning gender-specific qualities to his alien.

I liked that.

Eddie tangles his hand in the tendrils of Venom’s neck. “Yeah, me too. Fuck.”

Is this the part where you freak out?

“Uh yeah, I guess I should. Fuck. That just, um, it felt really fucking good. Really good.” Eddie tries to bring Venom’s face toward him for another kiss, but Venom resists.

So if you’re not going to freak out, then we should talk.

“What? Why?”

That’s what we are supposed to do. Our relationship has been nebulous and undefined, and it has made you irritable and difficult to live with.

“Hey, you never said I was difficult to live with,” Eddie replies, feeling irrationally hurt.

I’m saying it now. 

“OK. Fine.” Eddie tries to remember when he had to have this exact same conversation with Anne two weeks after he moved in with her. He thinks she may have approached him in a similar way, after sex, curled up close to him and soothing him with her touch. “It’s difficult for me to adjust to having you inside me, not because I don’t—it’s not that I don’t like you, it’s just that it’s, uh, different. You’re a fucking alien. There’s no human experience that could’ve prepared me for…” He points between their connected bodies. “This.”

I was not prepared either, Eddie.

“What do you mean?”

Venom kisses him. I did not expect to like you this much.

Eddie automatically smiles, then tries to downplay it by rolling his eyes. “OK. So. A relationship then? Do you even know what that entails?”

I hope it entails a lot more sex.

Eddie laughs. “Yeah. But it’s also, I don’t know, taking care of each other and—”

We already take care of each other.

“—And communicating our feelings, and spending time together.”

We spend all of our time together.

“Yeah. Um. I’m not sure you’re really understanding what I’m saying, and I’m pretty bad at this, too, so it’s probably gonna be different than, like, my relationship with Anne.”

Venom grins wide, showing every one of its teeth. Good. She can help us.

[read the rest on ao3]

[forbidding-souda]

jeez, i like this blog. how about writing Soda, Kirigiri, Mukuro, Celeste, Hagakure, Ouma and Kiibo with albino s/o? some cute general hc and some hcs about dealing with their sensetive to sun skin and eyes and weak health at all, and with people who bullying them for their appearance? thanks, have a nice day.

Kazuichi Souda, Kyoko Kirigiri, Mukuro Ikusaba, Celestia Ludenberg, Yasuhiro Hagakure, Kokichi Ouma, and Kiibo with albino S/O

Ya’ll are opening my horizons to different things wait I love this. 

Ever since this request popped into my ask box I’ve been excited to write it sorry it took so long! Kisses xx

-Mod Souda

Kazuichi Souda

He’s basically your designated driver when you need it.

Any questions you have at all about trying to read signs from a distance or if there’s anyone nearby that might make fun of you, he’ll answer you. He’s good at defending you.

Since he’s semi intimidating, if you’re with him, people just think wow look at the alt couple. Some people assume that you don’t naturally look like that, too.

When he first met you, he’d wave to you once you exited school, not realizing you could hardly see him with the sun outside.

You sun burn easily, too, and his first solution to this was to try and get you to wear one of his jumpers.

I mean - yeah but also no.

Once tried to convince you to wear his beanie to but you assured him that that will not protect you from the sun.

Your social scene was never too active because of the way you are. But Souda understand this too, on a less medical sense. 

He always tries to get you to hang around his friends, as well.

He’s always there to remind you that you are not a curse and that he loves you, kissing your skin and holding you close.

Since you were bullied throughout your kid years, when you finally were around his friend group, you were surprised that all of them were nice.

He is a very good person to be with when it comes to things like, of course, being nervous about who you are. 

He’s helpful and will work harder to get money to buy anything you need to help you live more comfortably.

Surprises you with flowers a lot. Not necessarily bouquets but just small flowers lying around your room.

His favorite thing to do is just surprise you with small things hidden around the house. Your favorite drink, small sweats, things that make you happy.

Kyoko Kirigiri

She’s a very intelligent girl, and she holds a lot of power.

“Remember to bring your sunglasses,” she’ll always remind you.

Has extra gloves for you, too.

Requests to change some of the lightbulbs in the classrooms just in case they are the type that hurt you.

She’s also a very good cuddler, too! She’ll run her fingers up and down your arms or play with your hair.

Doesn’t like to go on dates outside, which is fine by you.

Instead of outside dates, she’ll watch your favorite movies with you, or ask you questions to learn more about you.

She’s a curious cat when it comes to what makes you you.

You try to reciprocate the energy, but she doesn’t like to answer all of the questions you give her.

All the questions, all the questions, all the questions! You almost think she’s making a journal about you.

Sometimes she’ll take you out in the night in December, putting Christmas lights around the neighborhood. 

Someone will have to get on the other’s shoulders, often, but that just makes everything so much funner.

Especially when the tiny bit of snow falls from the sky.

Seeing Kyoko in the snow is like watching an angel.

Mukuro Ikusaba

She doesn’t quite understand what albinism means.

But she knows that it’s something serious, and you aren’t like other people.

Anything you tell her she’ll try to remember.

For your birthday, she got you a parasol. It was your favorite color, too! 

Twirling it in your hand while the two of you walk together is everything!

You got her a matching one, too, the both of you can twirl your parasol’s together.

She gets you a lot of random presents, things you don’t even know where she gets it from. Posters of your favorite musicians are you favorites.

When she moves into your house, she adds a lot of decor to your room. Things like plants, adding shelves for her books, and different stuffed animals her sister stole for her when they were homeless.

She’s very much an indoors person, but she is willing to do the shopping and cooking whenever you don’t feel well.

Can carry you, too. She’s surprisingly strong. 

Not that she can carry you, let me correct myself. She will carry you.

Also will fight anyone who disrespects you.

Celestia Ludenberg

She has a collection of parasol’s in her house, and will definitely allow you to dress up in her gothic lolita clothes if you so desired.

She likes touching your skin, too, definitely.

Everything about you is beautiful to her.

Being next to you in public makes her proud that she was able to date someone like you. 

Will help you in any way. 

But she always wants something in return. A kiss, nothing serious. Maybe showering with her if she’s feeling lonely enough.

“You’re invited to the mansion with me when I become rich,” she coos one night, turning to her side to look at you.

To her, the invite was a serious thing. All of her life she dreamed about being alone in the house with all of those boys. But if you’re there with her, then it might be a little better.

She is dreamy when it comes to skincare, and will always massage your face. It’s usually when you come back from being outside, and the sun has bothered your eyes, she will draw her thin fingers across your face to try and ease at least some pain.

But she’s such a drama queen sometimes, wondering why you can’t just go have tea with her sometime. Both of you settled on going when the sun is down, or when the clouds are thick. 

Because tea with her is fun, actually. Makes you tune into your inner lolita subculture.

Yasuhiro Hagakure

He’s a dummy sometimes.

“Hiro, can you grab my sunhat?”

“Sure thing!”

You step outside, asking him where it is.

“I forgot to get it, wait-”

His body is really large, and he can shade you if you get too overwhelmed. Not to mention that he easily drapes his jacket over you, sometimes.

This boy cares a lot!!!!

He listens to your every last word and complaint!! If you are in pain? He’s gonna take you home immediately!

A lot of strangers like to stare at you, sometimes taking pictures without you noticing.

He always calls them out, often yelling in public to defend you.

You defend him, too, sometimes having to bonk people on the head when they gawk at him.

But he’s an outdoorsy fellow when he’s not constantly in fear that the yakuza would kill him.

You don’t get to see him all that often. It’s a little disheartening.

He comes home whenever he can to give you big hugs!

Kokichi Ouma

He’s a little goofer sometimes.

Sometimes you have to go out without him, and it’ll never go well.

You’ll be almost out the door. “Where are my sunglasses?”

“Oh, I don’t know, S/O. Where are they?”

“You little shit.”

He always wants to go with you when you go outside. Just because he likes hanging out with you, also because he thinks your routine is very interesting.

Sneaks up on you all the time. Especially in public. 

It’s your least favorite thing ever when he does it when it’s sunny outside. 

But if someone tries to bother you, though, he will trip them or spit on them or even push them out of the way.

A lot of his DICE members will join in too, terrorizing them even days after. 

Every time he spends the night, he wakes up earlier than you, and always makes you a cup of tea/water/coffee for you when you wake up. 

He definitely gives you hugs from behind, too. Not even to surprise you. He just really likes wrapping his arms around you from that angle.

Draws you little pictures of yourself to leave around the house. It’s weird when he hasn’t came over in a while and yet you still find little post-it notes all over.

Kiibo

He has a very big brain! But he still asks a lot of questions about it.

He makes, almost forces, you to eat a lot of healthy foods so your physical health can improve a bit. It’s very annoying, but you do it for him.

Surprise kisses are what he’s good at! He will wake you up with kisses, give you nightly kisses before he turns off, and give you kisses throughout his day.

And he keeps his eyes on you!! Like all the time!!

Because he worries, and he tries not to let you know, which fails.

“Kiibo, you don’t have to worry.”

“I-I’m not worried! I just... love you a lot.”

You laugh, “you are worried because you love me.”

It makes him blush every time you tell him that. 

He loves you with all of his heart, it’s scary sometimes!

He didn’t think it was possible to love someone so much!

So he likes hearing you say you love him all the time. 

He doesn’t like the sun that much, and his ventures outside are shortlived, so you don’t have to worry about being forced to go out for whatever reason. 

[graffitibible]

how do killjoys treat raygun burns? i genuinely have no idea and i know you've already gone pretty in-depth with raygun wounds in general but i was curious about the treatment

cw: we’re gonna be talking about medical stuff and injuries in here. i’m not gonna include any graphic pictures and also i’m gonna warn anyone who wants to do further research that some of the images that’ll come up are gonna be pretty damn graphic. tread carefully!

SO i’m gonna be going off this ask here, and running with the assumption that raygun burns probably both bleed and burn. thats important since thats gonna affect how youd do treatment. it also means that raygun injuries are messy. most burn injuries in the real world can cauterize - theyre unique in that the site of injury is usually sterile at the time of injury. however, since the rayguns in this world are capable of making someone bleed (rather a lot too, if the comics are any indication), that means that these wounds can get pretty gnarly.

the important thing about how rayguns in danger days seem to work is that they are not pure laser bolts! if they were, they’d be able to pass through something and cauterize it pretty neatly, like a lightsaber. the raygun blasts have an obvious physical component - they can physically knock someone back, for example, and we see sparks shower when people are shot in the music videos. so rayguns in danger days have an apparent kinetic component to them: you are basically applying heat to the human body at high velocity. 

ONCE AGAIN, THIS GOT LONG. THE REST IS UNDER A CUT. mind the content warnings above!!

other than that, we’re not sure what specifically the makeup of the lasers like...are. electromagnetic radiation? plasma? heat? electricity? i doubt its pure electricity since that would be more consistently fatal, but it is some kind of bolt that has both heat and velocity on its side to be sure, but thats the extent of what we know.

now logically, this would actually cause the human body to like. explode. cause thats what happens when you apply that much heat to something made of mostly water. getting hit with a bolt of something that hot would cause all that water to boil off abruptly and then the steam would fucking parboil you. not a fun way to go though it is funny that the steam would be the thing that causes the most damage. so yeah actually a very gory kind of injury.

obviously thats not what happens in danger days, since no one to my knowledge Fucking Explodes when theyre hit with a laser bolt. but lasers from rayguns can make blood FOUNTAIN OUT OF A DUDE’S GUT in the comics so obviously they can do a hell of a lot of damage (the mvs are way less explicit but they also werent allowed to like, swear in the mvs and had to tone down some of the violence and shit so im taking the comics canon as the more “realistic” one wrt rayguns here) the science here is kinda...eh, cause laser bolts don’t appear to be a penetrating injury but rather a messy “burn and blister” kind of injury that are nonetheless capable of making someone eat it pretty quick.

but this is danger days and this is kinda where science goes to die so here is how i view laser injuries in the universe:

danger days laser bolts have a kinetic or explosive quality to them.

what this means is that the injury is twofold: first, the heat damages the external layer of skin. i’d hazard that we’re talking second-to-third degree burn levels of injury on immediate contact. second, the kinetic energy released at that velocity and force generates an explosive impact that does damage to surrounding tissue.

what’s left is an injury that both burns and bleeds. my take on it is that the bolt impact creates the open wound, while the heat intensifies that damage and disseminates it. you need a temp of maybe 300ºF and higher to cauterize a wound so lasers would have to burn at least a little bit lower than that since the injuries do consistently bleed. but since the human body is pretty sensitive to high temperatures that works out in our favor seeing as if you heat things too much, again, the risk is that we would Fucking Explode.

lots of burn injuries, especially third degree and higher, tend to bleed. since thats the closest thing i have to compare to a laser wound in danger days, thats going to be my basis here.

treating a raygun injury is likely to resemble burn treatment in a lot of ways

burn treatment stuff varies a lot and i will spare you guys from googling this and going “oh thank you google images thank you for showing me what a graphic third degree burn looks like i am so glad that i know this and that this is in my search history and keeps popping up in my search history im SO GLAD.” 

burn injuries go by degrees. first degree is like mild sunburn basically, and only affects the epidermis or external layer of skin. second degree affects the top and middle layers of skin and can leave blisters. third degree burns go all the way to the subcutaneous fat layer and can leave the skin white and charred. fourth degree burns can go through nerves and muscles and even down to the bone and can cause permanent damage that requires amputation. at fifth degree you have significant risk of organ injury and at sixth it’s basically like “fifth degree, but with the common side effect of Death.” 

again im not linking to anything here because pretty much every information article you get on this stuff is gonna have some nice graphic images. so if you look this stuff up on your own do it at your own risk or have an image/media blocker extension ready if that kinda thing squicks you out

the main takeaway is that any burn from like the third degree downward can be very brutal and hard to heal over - they can cause swelling and severe scarring and the destruction of the epidermis and hair follicles means that new hair won’t grow. add to that the idea of raygun blasts tearing open that external layer of skin that means that you can get burns that go in pretty deep which would go a long way to explain how it is a weapon that doesn’t appear to have a lot of “penetrating” energy is capable of killing someone relatively immediately, especially if theyve got that initial kinetic impact thats capable of tearing open the dermis and making the injury go deeper.

im going to tentatively say that raygun injuries are basically full-thickness burns with a few bells and whistles. basically, they destroy the epidermis and the layer of skin below it, the dermis. thats the level of third/fourth degree burns and worse, essentially.

so, serious burn treatment usually goes as follows:

clean! that! wound! it’s best to do this in a sterile environment, cause otherwise youre gonna end up blistering the injury and agitating it further. you wanna get all the dead tissue and gunk off the burn.

pain medication. with most burns the nerve endings can get pretty fried and you might not immediately experience any pain, but since raygun injuries go a little harder than your average burn, thats probably not the case. people definitely consistently react in pain after theyre shot with a raygun in the both the mvs and the comics. so yeah, its painful. pain medication is nice to mute that feeling.

antibiotics and/or tetanus shots to make sure that you don’t get an infection

intravenous fluids containing electrolytes as well as a diet high in protein and nutritional supplements

antibiotic ointments/creams for the injury

skin grafts to close the injury since a burn of that severity would have difficulty closing completely on its own. yikes.

continuous monitoring of the patient to prevent sepsis and eschar from fucking with the blood vessels and healing tissue.

obviously killjoys do not have the benefit of a fully stocked hospital. if youre in bat city youre probably gonna be in more luck. but if youre slumming it or if youre in the zones, heres what i imagine the killjoy diy procedure would likely be:

application of water over the wound. cool water is best, not ice-cold (alright alright alright alright alright etc)

cleaning the injury comes next to prevent infection. ideally you would use soap. do not scrub as youll agitate the wound

pain medication might be helpful here, but who knows if thats common out in the zones - and i imagine city-born killjoys might have some hang-ups with taking meds, so who fuckin knows there.

bandages, ideally clean ones, would help cover up the injury and keep it from the elements in time for it to heal. that will also cover up the skin while the bleeding heals up. keep the wound as closed from infection as possible.

check up on the injury consistently especially since the burn probably wasnt sterilized on impact the way most burns are. a messy injury like that one can go south very very quick.

realistically i doubt that skin grafts are readily available. its recommended that you stay out of the sun and avoid lots of exercise that might risk reopening the injury. and that...is going to be nigh impossible if youre a zonerunner lol. its likely that improper treatment can lead to infection and then death. it is also likely that too much agitation of the injury can lead to the wound reopening, infection, and then death.

if you get stuff like light grazes, where the bolts clip you but dont fully impact you, that means youre like to get some surface-level burns that cover a larger surface area. theyll heal quicker if you treat them right, but thats a larger area thats open to infection. burns that go deep into the skin have more immediate fatality risk. there could be variation here as well! maybe a laser gun with a lower or dying charge will do less damage. maybe some guns have fancy “stun” settings that don’t do permanent damage.

the human body is surprisingly resilient and can recover from a lot. but burns are no joke and a raygun blast can easily be fatal either immediately or a little bit after the fact. even if you survive the blast, there are likely to be a lot of repercussions to taking a serious hit, which im again basing on the noted consequences of major burn injuries

likely consequences of surviving a raygun hit in the zones:

scarring. especially without skin grafts, this ones gonna be a gimme, and likely permanent. serious burns can leave lots of color changes to the skin as well as keloid tissue (which is a raised, lumpy kind of scar tissue. you can google it if you want but as i warned before: images might be pretty grody). this would also prevent the growth of new hair in those areas. most hospitals try to excise this and replace it with skin grafts to speed healing but like i said thats not likely to be an obvious solution in the desert.

nerve damage. burns that go super deep can permanently remove the feeling from the affected part of the body. this is likely to be permanent. deep contact usually remains intact but stuff like subtle pressure changes can be outright impossible to sense. this can also cause contractures in the affected area.

weakness in the affected area. related to the above point, damage to muscle tissue and nerves can reduce range of motion, strength in that area, and more.

itching and pain at the site of injury. pretty self-explanatory. that one might get better as you go on depending on how good the medical treatment was at the time of injury.

inability to sweat. the destruction of sweat glands in affected areas are possible if the burn goes deep enough. in the desert this can be very bad news lol

psychological trauma. a given. any traumatic injury can have long-term psychological effects.

my main takeaway here is that killjoys who’ve been in lots of serious firefights are gonna have a sHITTON of scarring, some of it obvious. lots of killjoys looking pretty fucked up. lookin wiped out. my other takeaway is that surviving a raygun blast is pretty dependent on getting care for it as soon as possible, cause the infection/hemorrhage risk seems pretty high.

ofc this is just me analyzing this shit to hell and back and it’s probably nowhere near that scientifically DENSE im just detail-oriented as hell. so take or leave this answer, whichever you like lol. i like writing the nitty gritty details of injuries since i generally wanna emphasize how rough life in the zones can be so this is something im interested in exploring.

[thistangledbrain]

I think I’m going to add Day 28 a day early, because I just finished it. This one took me 3 days to write...I had to keep putting it down. I think because meltdowns are our strongest reminders that we are NOT like other people, and that can be hard to accept sometimes, especially when we’re trying so hard to blend in or go along. Also, meltdowns are when we are in a raw, illogical space - which is highly unsavory, to put it mildly. We are vulnerable. Naked. Stuck. Entirely in fight or flight mode - or both. For as baffling and upsetting as you find it to be - trust me, we aren’t having a good time, either.

*takes a deep breath*

Ok, here goes.

Day 28

“Dealing with meltdowns”

Well, this one’s fun. (sarcasm)

I’m glad I got a few days ahead, because this one is hard to think about, so I keep putting it down and then coming back to it. I asked my youngest some questions, but he didn’t want to talk about it, either.

We hate meltdowns. It feels like the whole world is ending/everything is crashing down at once. I don’t CARE if what triggered it was “small” - all the repressed stuff we’ve been trying to squash comes crashing in like the fuckin Kool-Aid Man through a half open door.

But, I’ll start with how you can help.

First and foremost: DO NOT TOUCH!!! NO! BAD NEUROTYPICAL!! NO TOUCH!! (One exception: if we’re trying to blindly bolt from our environment. STOP US.)

I know this is completely counterintuitive to typical human nature, especially with young children. You want to scoop them up and cuddle them and make them feel safe. Sorry, but you just did the opposite of that - you freaked us out even more, and your need to touch and comfort is entirely yours, in that moment. Let us come to you if we want physical comfort - when we do need that, we can be like clingy little monkeys (and if an Autie child clings to you during a meltdown, you *honor* that shit & throw all the loving calm energy you can out there for them - do not say anything or try and talk them out of it - just let them cling to you and cry. Literally - JUST be there). I will say, AFTER the meltdown, we will possibly need some reassurance and kindness, if you can manage it. We will sometimes allow holding when we don’t feel good, with our absolute closest humans, but generally we really want you to just be there but not touch, until we’re ready. Lots of us don’t really want you to leave altogether, at least not for long - even if it seems like we do.

If you want to help, start with keeping your energy (your “vibe”) as calm, gentle, and peaceful as possible. Try not to get frantic or frustrated. If we’re at home or in a familiar space, do things that make our space feel better - drop the blinds/make it dark, place our weighted blanket over us/find our stuffy if we have one, light a candle or burn sage/waft a favorite calming scent, like lavender. If you say anything, use a soft, gentle voice - try not to talk too much...but if you sing, that can be very soothing. Sing very softly - I don’t know why, but soft singing and rocking (if you can stay on key...sorry but it’s grating when the tune is off!) can go a long way towards calming. Things like this can head a total meltdown off or stop it in its tracks, sometimes. Or get us out into an environment that makes us happy (like a nature trail)...but if we’re past a 4 (I’ll explain in a moment), we might not be willing to.

If we’re in a school setting, get us out from under those GOD DAMNED FLUORESCENT LIGHTS...YOU might not pick up on their eye-and-head hurting flicker, but we can. They suck even when we’re in a GOOD mood. See if you can get us into a darker room, or at least one without those &$@!;!! lights. Small things like bright lights, or sounds that usually only cause mild annoyance can become HUGE - for example, my dogs. In my best moments, the sound of them licking themselves will set my teeth on edge - if I’m trying to come out of a meltdown, those sounds - or almost any sounds, really, except white noise stuff - are infuriating. I hate to say that, but 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s just true. All your sensory shit is dialed to 11 and someone broke the knob off - there is NO “just deal with” whatever, at that point. We aren’t dealing with SHIT right then, so removal to a quiet spot is pretty damn important.

Try to distract or divert us before we’re over a 4 on a 1-10 scale, though, and absolutely before we start looping (the suggestions so far are for when the meltdown is in/almost in full swing - and I’m only speaking for older auties and into adulthood, here, though most of this stuff helps littles, too).

Let me explain “escalation scale” and “looping” - with the help of my husband, who recognizes patterns of escalation as well (in us, and in dogs ☺️). “Looping” is his word. It means no matter what you say, we keep looping back to what’s got us upset/how much we hate ourselves right then/all the bad feelings/past hurts that are piling on to the current problem. You’ll pull us out of it for a second, but then we loop right back to it. Ideally, you want to intervene before we get to the looping, which is about a 7+ on the escalation scale. Once we’re at a 7 and above....we’re consumed by it, and it gets much harder to diffuse. Think of the 1-10 scale like this: 1 is calm, 10 is completely nuclear - above a 7, almost nothing will distract us, almost nothing will divert us except bodily removal from the situation/environment & then leaving us the fuck alone (maybe figuratively but not literally - it depends on your Autie) for a while until we exhaust ourselves one way or another. If you can intervene and remove/distract right around a level 4 - which is right when you start to notice someone is getting quite agitated, you’ve got a good chance of heading the meltdown off at the pass. But if we’re already looping - repeating phrases over and over, looping back to our most upsetting feelings no matter what you say or do, sometimes while rocking or banging, you’re way too late. Now we have to ride it out together...as safely as we can manage. Now you need to make things dark, private, and as calming as you can, if possible. Or just get us the fuck out of the situation that set us off. That helps, too...obviously. I’ll tee up a possible scenario: you’re at an amusement park with your Autie. WHOA stimulation, right? You’re all having a fab time, but suddenly your Autie starts to cry or get angry or otherwise exhibit “I am SUPER OVERWHELMED” energy. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s just a lot to process, even when all the things are pretty fun. So, find a quiet place in a park like area to chill. Grab food from a stand - or go back out to your car and sit and eat a packed lunch or have some snacks. Don’t make a big fucking deal about it, either. Just “oh okay, I think now’s a good time for a quiet break”. Keep in mind all autistics are living in a sensory rich environment, and it can get mega overwhelming sometimes. It’s not always bad shit that sets us off.

I’ve mentioned in prior posts how it can feel like someone else is driving the car (controlling the emotions), while we sit in the back seat and scream and hit and try to get them to stop the fucking car and let us out...it’s in these moments that I TOTALLY understand how doctors got autism and schizophrenia mixed up, in years past. At least, that ripping in half is what my youngest son and I feel. YOU’RE frustrated with us right then? BRUH. WE are so fucking pissed and frustrated and upset that we can’t stop the car, too. You’re not helping if we know you are frustrated, either - that’s why I mention keeping your “vibe” as level and gentle and “no biggie” as possible.

I have some tips for head bangers and stuff, that I won’t include in this post but I’m happy to tell you what I’ve done/what can work.

Basically? “Dealing with” meltdowns is just....TRY SHIT. If you’re an Autie trying to manage your own, play around with what helps you calm down. It could be a brisk walk away from anything human, time under your weighted blanket, time in a dark warm shower or tub (idk about you, but in this house - water soothes nearly anything, most of the time), holding your pet, screaming all the cuss words you know into the void lol ....and the same methods might not work all the time (I was “feeling unsubstantiated feelings” the other day, and got into the shower before they overwhelmed me - a usual go to - but this time, the water felt disgusting, being wet just made it all worse. It surprised even me, but you gotta roll with it & try something else). But try as hard as you can to do something that will soothe you. Or find a safe place to let it all out, without hurting yourself. Pro tip, though: do not add alcohol. It not only takes away all the barriers you’ve probably put up to keep from going completely off the deep end, but it also magnifies all the bad feelings. I am, however, a big fan now of smoking a little green. I started trying that about 3 years ago and oh my god where has this been my whole adult life. I can’t take antidepressants or even most anxiety meds...but I can smoke. I use carefully chosen calming and pain relieving indica strains - sativa can sometimes make me feel more anxious. (YMMV)

If you’re the Emotional Support Human™️ of a melting down Autie, the same applies. Just try stuff. Trust me you will know if said Autie finds your efforts upsetting. It’s ok to want to talk to us about it afterwards, in a constructive way. Once we’ve calmed down, we know you’re trying to help. We’re raw and exhausted immediately after a meltdown though (meltdowns usually lead to shutdowns), so give us a little time, maybe. Or maybe not - maybe your Autie will be in a more communicative frame of mind, since it’s fresh. You won’t know unless you ask, maybe like “could we talk about this, or would you like some time to be quiet?” (Again - gentle tone and energy is important.)

Meltdowns are hard for me to write about because these days, they’re super rare, but when they happen, they’re ...well, brutal. Like really, really bad. I had one a few years ago that I think terrified my husband. We were in the car. I was getting so upset (screaming, beating my fists and probably thrashing a little) that he had to stop the car. Luckily we were in the boonies, but...not long after he stopped the car, I attempted to bolt. I felt trapped in between his efforts to soothe and the small confines of the car, and just wanted to bolt. Run. Far away. There was ZERO thought of personal safety at that point. His efforts to contain me were met with violence. I will be ashamed of that for the rest of my life - I don’t even have words for what an amazing human my husband is, and the LAST thing my non-melting-down brain wants, is to hurt him. But all I could think about was doing whatever needed to be done to escape this hell I was in. God. Just writing about it hurts, and I feel fresh shame. I’m telling you all this, so that you understand that *in that moment*, we are a cornered and overwhelmed animal, who wants to just bite bite bite or run away (fight/flight). The things we usually cling to - logic and reason - don’t exist right then. Nothing is logical - which actually adds to our upset.

There may be a time when your Autie feels like this too - and that’s one time where you DO need to intervene even if we don’t like it/hate it/get furious with you for it. If we are trying to hurt ourselves or run, do what you need to to not allow that. I truly believe this is how many young Autie kids get lost - we were upset and we just bolted blindly. We don’t react well to you stopping us....but it’s necessary.

There’s a moment in the Disney movie “Soul”, where 22 becomes a lost soul. Her little bright blue body is engulfed by swirling blackness, and inside that blackness is every bad or negative thing that’s ever been said to her. She starts looping - “I’m not good enough”, “I have no purpose”, over and over and over. This is what a meltdown feels like. In the movie, her mentor quietly hands her a small token reminder that starts to make the blackness melt away - it’s not the token that “society” thinks she should have, it’s a personal one. Shouting at her, blah blahblah talking, trying to reason with her makes her hiss and run away - but *quietly* handing her a tactile object that means something to her, brings her back to the present, and is what breaks the looping.

Here’s the clip of when he breaks through her meltdown. I hope it explains things in a way I’m struggling to. I’ll end with that...if the subtitles distract you, I apologize, I can’t find a “clean clip”.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nmapZFDUkBk&t=41s

[sincerelyreidburke]

The main question on my mind is: Does Nando immediately squeal to Rhodey and Touille about kissing Quinn or not?

Like a middle school girl, my friend.

Here’s a ficlet that serves as the second part of the question posed in this ask, plus the answer to your question, anon! The entire “Quindo first kiss” saga is in this completed work on ao3, if you’re curious to see the rest.

(Ask me anything about the crickets!)

//

It occurs to Nando, around the third or maybe fourth time that Quinn presses his lips to his in the crowded lobby at Faber, that he is having a really, really good day.

Like, okay, it was already good because there was a game, and then it was double good when he saw that Quinn was here, and then he scored off the pure adrenaline of that realization, but this— this takes the cake.

Because this is his first kiss with the boy he’s been thinking about for weeks, and it’s. His brain is shutting itself off. And also screaming! At the same time! Because Quinn is here and he’s in his arms and he came to watch him play and now, now he gets to kiss him, and it’s every bit as soft and sweet and good as he could have possibly daydreamed or imagined—

He can barely get a hold on the English language, and when they pull away from one of several kisses, he takes a breather, meets those blue-green eyes. Quinn’s entire face is flushed, and he knows that his is likely the same, or at least that’s how it feels, because this may be a hockey rink, but he is warm from head to toe. “I can’t believe you came,” he breathes, and it’s half a laugh and half a sentence, as he holds him close.

Quinn presses his thumb gently into his cheek, and the gesture is so tender that Nando thinks he might combust right here and now. “I had to,” Quinn says, simply, with a smile to match his easy tone. “For you.”

Nando is definitely going to combust. He leans down to kiss him, then halts for a second, not exactly second-guessing but more just hesitating, because, well, they haven’t really addressed— “Is it, uh. Okay? That we’re doing this?” He pauses just a moment before adding, “In public?”

“Oh, God, of course,” Quinn breathes, and that is every cue Nando needs to kiss him again. If people want to judge, let them. They are having a moment, God damn it!

“Nando!”

The voice is shrill, like a vibe check from God, and Nando jerks out of the sweet kiss at its rude interruption. He grimaces a little, because he knows exactly who that yell belongs to, and he knows what it means, too. He’s about to get chewed out.

Quinn is looking, like he knows, too, and Nando thinks they both spot Ford at the same time; she’s standing by the locker room door, waving her clipboard menacingly. What’ll it be? Stop being obvious and gay in public? Why are you out here before getting undressed? First a penalty and now PDA? He winces in anticipation.

“If you don’t put your jersey in the laundry bin in the next three minutes, you’re washing it yourself before next game!”

“Oh.” Nando feels a weight lift off his shoulders. That is decidedly less terrifying than the number of other things that could have come out of her mouth. “I’m coming!” he calls. “Sorry, Foxtrot!” But he can’t even help it; he knows he’s still grinning like a doofus. He turns back to the boy in his arms, raising his eyebrows a little, and remarks, “Uh… we might have a slight interruption.”

Quinn is quiet and contemplative for a moment, then smiles gently again, and asks, “Where do you have to be after this?”

“After I undress?” Nando surveys his gear. It won’t take long. And he likes where this is going. “Anywhere you want me to be.”

“Hmm, I see,” Quinn replies, like he’s really deep in thought about it. When he speaks again, he’s whispering, and his eyes are gleaming like the tropical ocean on a warm day. “Meet me in my room?”

Oh, fuck yeah. Nando kisses him again. “I’m there.”

“Sebastián Hernandez I will fine you.”

Quinn laughs against his mouth, and when they come up for air, looks up at him to ask, “What does she mean?”

But Nando puts him down— that can be a topic for another time. “I’ll explain later,” he replies, then, oh, fuck it, he cannot help it, kisses him one last time.

Quinn rests a hand on his chest. On his own two feet, he is so adorably short that Nando thinks he might actually lose his shit. “I’ll hold you to that.”

“Good.” Nando kisses his cheek before he lets go, then starts to make his backtrack to the locker room; every step he takes that separates them feels way too far. “I’ll see you,” he says, and then promises, “Twenty minutes. Tops.”

Quinn, the cutest thing he has ever seen, folds his arms and tips his head to the side. The little swoop of his hair tosses across his forehead. “I’ll be waiting.”

Nando laughs, winks, and then whips around to make a mad dash for the locker room.

On his way there, he pulls off his jersey, dodging passers-by in the lobby and taking care not to trample their shoes with his skates on the rubber ground. When he reaches Ford by the door, he waves the sweater in her face. “Directly to laundry!” he cries, in a blur by her, and then adds, “I’m sorry!”

But the murderous rage has dissolved, and now that he’s following her orders, Ford is grinning at him. He would feel a chirp coming on if he weren’t running by her so fast.

He drops his jersey in the laundry bin on top of all his teammates’, and then rounds the corner into the actual locker room. The guys are in various states of undress; he left his helmet on his spot and made a break for the lobby to find Quinn right after final buzzer. Now, the only one left in basically full gear, he feels twenty pairs of eyes on him as he comes to a screeching halt in the doorway.

It’s Dex who breaks the silence. “What happened to you?” he asks, with an arched eyebrow and a grin. “You look like you just won the lottery.”

“Yeah,” Touille adds, “why’d you run out of here so fast?”

“I know why,” Rhodey says, all obnoxious, like they’re in middle school. “His boyfriend came to see him.”

A murmur goes around the room, half intrigue and half chirp. “Yoo, Nando,” Nursey asks, shaking out his sweaty curls, “you’ve got a boyfriend?”

Nando takes a deep breath, looks between his teammates, and stays cool for exactly three seconds before he feels his resolve disappear and he breaks out in a shit-eating grin. To Nursey, he shrugs, despite the complete loss of calm, and says, “I think I do now.”

In true Samwell Hockey fashion, the locker room explodes.

“Yoooooooo!” Rhodey literally throws a water bottle at him. “Nanny!”

Nursey is nodding approvingly, which is literally the most validating thing ever. “Dude, major congrats.”

“That’s why you scored, isn’t it?” Louis laughs at the ceiling and squirts Gatorade at him. “You glorious fucking bastard.”

“There should be a fine for that.”

“Foooiiiine—”

“Nando is getting some—”

“Gayest team on campus, baby!”

Nando laughs, darting through the crowd of yelling jocks and back over to his actual spot, where he starts taking his skates off as fast as he can. Rhodey is immediately at his side (in his boxers) demanding details, and Touille appears out of nowhere on the other side. “Dude,” Touille whispers, all conspiratorial. “What happened?”

Rhodey nudges him. “Yeah, spill the tea!”

Nando cannot stop smiling, as he starts to get out of his gear. He takes a deliberately long time to respond, looking between the two of them, and when he does, he shrugs, like the greatest thing in the entire world didn’t happen all of five minutes ago. “May have kissed him.”

“Sebastián Hernandez,” Rhodey cries, with an aggressive slap to his shoulder, “you are my fucking hero.”

Touille laughs. “Get it, Nanny.”

Nando runs his hands through his hair and laughs, pressing his forehead to the shelf on his locker cubby. He allows himself just a second, to bask in the glory, to relive what just went down. Around him, his friends and teammates are still going wild. It is a very fucking good day.

He is going to kiss Quinn so much when he gets back to his room.

But right now, he needs to do the fastest undress and shower of his life.

[vagrantblvrd]

fahc fishing jamboree, or battle buddies if they had pokemon? Hope your block dwindles away soon and your internet behaves decently!

Oh my God, okay, I love the Battle Buddies pokemon thing so much? (Because Pixelmon 2: Electric Boogaloo or whatever those dorks are doing in Minecraft these days? XD)

Like.

Just.

Some AU that’s a mix of Battle Buddies world and pokemon world (games/anime/Detective Pikachu and so on?) where pokemon are very much A Thing but it’s not weird if some people don’t pokemon.

Before Ryan gets partnered with Jeremy he’s on this mission somewhere and there’s this tiny little houndour he finds, right?

Doesn’t know much about pokemon other than some people go crazy about them, which okay, fair.

Okay, no. He knows the basics because sometimes he has to deal people using pokemon as guard animals/pokemon and therefore how to neutralize them as threats – type advantages and so on and he’s got specialized pokeballs not available to the general public? Like. Ones that will allow him to capture these guard animals/pokemon even if they do belong to someone to get them out of the way so they won’t be forced to otherwise hurt/kill them?

(Said pokemon either get left with the proper authorities later or handed over to the agency to be assessed to see if they can be integrated into his agency’s own pool of pokemon partners for various agents/security or their allies or quietly adopted out elsewhere because no sad end for them in this AU.)

Maybe he gets a few odd looks from his co-workers for not having pokemon of his own, but there were were always reasons he never got into pokemon like some people he’s met.

Maybe his family moved around too much as a kid for him to get to know the other kids where they were at the time.

It was just easier to stick to himself  and read his books and play his games – no real opportunity to get a pet pokemon or look into training his own because “they’re a big responsibility” and “when we get a place with a big yard” and all these reasons that add up to him never getting his own, y’know? Stopped thinking it might happen because hey, some people just don’t pokemon and it’s fine, okay.

But then he ends up working for the agency and sure other agents have pokemon partners they go into the field with but Ryan’s not one of them.

Could probably get one if he wanted, but it’s better if he didn’t? (Ignores the worried looks he gets because it would be nice to know he’s not on his  own out there sometimes, but Ryan insists he works better alone and so on and so forth.)

And then!

One mission that gets a little out of hand on him he finds this tiny little houndour huddling under a rusted out car or in an alley somewhere when he’s running from some baddies. Dead-end and this general air of oh, shit knowing he’s about to get caught when he hears this noise and sees something dart away from wherever he is.Through this gap in a fence or something he didn’t notice at first glance and while it’s probably not the safest idea to go chasing after it, he figures it’s better than getting caught by the baddies. (Whatever just ran away from him can’t be worse than what the baddies would do if they caught up to him, so he slips through that gap in the fence.)

Finds himself following these paw prints through mud or whatever on the other side, angry voices behind and ends up in an unused subway tunnel or some such after he loses the baddies, because of course. (Plot Reasons! :D)

Still following the paw prints – mix of curiosity and vague gratitude because whatever ran from him didn’t set out to help him or anything but it did anyway. (And also, safer to stay out of sight for a while, just in case so why not find out what led him here?)

Terrible weather outside anyway, rain coming down hard or just turning to mixed rain/snow and something, something reasons.

He sees a pair of eyes watching him from a hidey spot that’s a tangle of rusted out car parts and other stuff tossed away and forgotten and has this huh moment of not knowing what to do now?

Because, look.

Ryan may not pokemon like just about everyone else ever he’s not heartless, and whatever is hiding in that pile of junk helped saved his life just now, so.

Coaxes the little thing out from hiding with a bit of food – military rations so not the best? But the poor thing is starving and better than whatever scraps it’s been living off until Ryan came along, so yes.

Hard to ell what it is at first, it’s all covered in mud and the whatnot and nearly skin and bones.

But then it sneezes and shakes some of the excess water/mud from its fur and he realizes it’s a houndour. Little on the small side of things, and clearly wary of him but after he talks to it for a bit and feeds it the rest of what good he has on him it lets him pet it.

He doesn’t want to leave it behind, but isn’t sure it’ll follow him, but when he gets up to leave – it’s late and should be safe to head back to wherever he’s staying. (Still has a mission to finish, figure out where he went wrong and how to fix that so he can deal with his target.)

To his surprise the houndour follows him out of there. Wary, leery, but it follows him all the same.

(Ducks into shadows and hidey spots at first when he glances back to see if it’s still there like it thinks he’s going to turn on it, and he muffles a laugh because it’s pretty damn good at stealth, you know? Dumb little jokes to himself about it being a better operative than he is, because dork.)

He makes it back to the cheap little motel he’s staying at and is kind of ??? at what to do with the houndour now?

Sure it’s out of the weather and somewhere warm, seems a little less wary of him now but they’re not BFFs, you know?

Still.

There’s a couple of menus on the dresser for places that deliver and he’s pretty hungry himself, and he calls one of them up and places his order. Something for him and stuff that should be safe enough for the houndour to eat for the time being.

Spends the time waiting for the delivery person to get there watching the houndour explore the motel room, getting brave enough to come up to him. (Tries not to smile when it just looks at him like it doesn’t know what to make of him, either, other than being a goddamned weird human.)

When the food gets there he sets the houndour’s share on the ground and fills the ice bucket up with water for it and eats his own food as he boots up his laptop and other techy gadgets he’s been using.

Tries to figure out what the hell happened that things went so badly sideways on him and gets so caught up in that he startles when there’s this little whine at his side and he sees the houndour looking at him with its head cocked.

Doesn’t know why at first, and then laughs when he realizes he hasn’t finished his own food – too caught up in his work and all – and he splits the last of it between them.

Sits back to watch the houndour scarf it all down and lick its lips like it’s hoping for more, but not starving about it.

It’s still dirty, mud and muck dried in its fur and such and Ryan figures a bath wouldn’t hurt. (He’s not thinking long-term decisions about the houndour yet. Maybe has the vague idea he’ll being it back to the agency once things are done with here if it’ll let him, see if the agency can’t use a good houndour or if someone will want to adopt it as a pet if not a working pokemon.)

He’s a little surprised when the houndour lets him give it a bath.

Has it trotting along behind him as he goes to fill the tub, all curious and adorable as hell until it realizes what he’s got planned for it. There’s this moment he can see where it’s debating whether or not to let this strange human give it a bath – not harmless after all – but there’s a sort of trust between them and it’s been scratching a bit too, so it lets Ryan give it a bath.

Little motel shampoo sample bottles or whatever that smell vaguely of flowers or something else that tickles its nose, has it sneezing and splashing water on Ryan.

Little barks and yips at the  bubbles and whatnot. Some confused growling, but it’s not aggressive and Ryan is kind of charmed by this adorable puppy pokemon, okay? (Not that he realizes it yet.)

Gets it all nice and squeaky clean and dried off and watches it wander around the motel room exploring everything again before he could do with a shower himself.

When he comes out the houndour’s settled down some, curled up under the table his laptops set up and lightly snoozing.

Ryan goes back to work on his laptop and sees there are some messages waiting for him. Hints the agency was fed bad intel, possible mole in their midst or whatever and watch his back and blah, blah, blah.

Ryan is like, well, obviously, because things haven’t gotten this fucked up in a while? (Or ever, really.)

SO.

He finds a way to untangle things for his current mission and falls asleep at some point. (Wakes up to the houndour hopping off the foot of the bed and this spot by his feet it was clearly sleeping before then, but whatever, right? If the houndour wants to go back to be all Aloof or whatever it’s been doing while he’s awake that’s fine.)

He grabs some food – sticks to rations in his stuff and gives most of it to the houndour before going out to finish his mission.

Not the easiest one now the target and his people are on alert, but he manages without getting seriously injured/killed and that’s always nice.

Surprised when he gets back to the motel room and the houndour’s still there – he left a window open or some other way for it to leave while he was gone if it wanted – but nah. It’s dozing under the table again and cocks its head when it sees him limp inside. (Maybe fucked his leg up a bit, but nothing a few stitches and some bandages won’t fix.)

He’s just there to check on the houndour – not a great idea to stick around after the hornet’s (beedrill’s nest?) he just kicked up – and get the hell out of town before he gets caught.

No real idea what he’s doing (when does he ever?) but he grabs his stuff and shakes his head in amusement when the houndour jumps up and follows him when he leaves.

Sneaky sekrit agent/operative getting out of the city and somewhere safe to report back to whoever he trusts back at the agency. (Potential mole/breach back there but there are a few people he still trusts and  they find a way for him to get back home.)

He looks at the houndour who seems intent on going with him and finds a way to get it back too. (Still in denial that it’s his now, whatever that entails, but let him have this one.)

There are some shenanigans getting back – bribery to get the houndour past customs and whatever is going on at the agency trying to kill him? But the bribes work a treat and the houndour helps save his life – in more direct ways this time as it attacks a few baddies to save him and Ryan is like, well, okay, guess I’m pokemoning too now, huh? when the dust settles.

Gets back to the agency and helps clear up the last of the mess (that they know of at the time) and his superiors are all laughing at him when they see this feisty little houndour defending Ryan against potential threats. (He’s been so adamant all this time he works better alone/doesn’t need a partner human or pokemon and so on and so on, and here he is with this houndour, so yeah.)

After that Ryan sekrit agents/operatives his way around the globe with his houndour partner. Trains with her before he takes new missions first to make sure she’s suitable for it – would rather not take her out if she doesn’t have the right temperament, you know? (Let someone else adopt her as a pet than force her into being a working pokemon if it’s going to make her miserable, but she takes to the training/job like nothing else and his superiors are not so secretly relieved there’s someone watching his back on missions now.)

Thing is, though.

Now that Ryan’s got his houndour at his side he ends up picking up all kinds of pokemon while he’s out and about. (Away on a mission for the agency or back home for a change and a quick run to the grocery store.)

Finds all stray and abandoned pokemon that he can’t just leave behind – not with his houndour giving him this sad little look and soft whine and he’s a soft touch more than ever before when it comes to pokemon now.

Most of them go to the closest pokemon center where trainers or people looking for companion pokemon will adopt them into a forever home. (All kinds and most not suited for agency work one reason or another and really, really, he’s not suited for more pokemon at the moment with his work and time away from home and so forth.)

A few end up at the agency after they’ve passed the usual checks and whatnot to make sure it’s a good fit for them, but yeah.

It turns into this running joke about Ryan coming back from a mission with a few extra friends, you know? (And yeah, okay. Some of the one that end up with the agency don’t all go into the field, some just end up office pokemon keeping desk-bound agents/operatives other staff company during work hours and such.)

Things go on like that for a while and eventually Jeremy ends up at the agency, this kid fresh out of some academy or other with a different agency who got snapped up by Ryan’s.

Bounced around a bit in the beginning because there’s a reshuffling going on at the time – still rooting out whoever was behind the botched mission attempted coup back when Ryan met his houndour and pockets bubble up from time to time.

Eventually Ryan’s superiors stick Jeremy with Ryan and his houndour, right?

One of the few they can trust to keep Jeremy under watch/keep him safe. (They like him, he’s got all this potential and such but the timing of him coming into the agency while they’re dealing with this ugly mess is a bit suspect, so yes.)

By this time Ryan’s taken to incorporating his houndour’s little skull/bones aesthetic as his own? Like. Not blatant about it or anything, but the guy’s got all that theater kid to him and he’s dork enough to be unironic about it.

Jeremy notices of course, the times they go out on missions where Ryan pulls out the face paint and the  pattern on his own face matches his houndour (which he’s gone and named something ridiculous like Crossbones or something ~cool, idk.)

He and Jeremy get along well and at first Ryan thinks Jeremy’s like he used to be because he’s never seen him with pokemon of his own? (Sure, Jeremy loves pokemon, spoils Crossbones when she lets him and so on and the office pokemon adore the hell out of him, but yeah. Doesn’t seem to have any of his own.)

But then there’s a mission that goes south on them – nothing suspicious about it, just bad luck on their part – and just when things look dire for them Jeremy whips out a pokeball and this voltorb.

Gives Ryan this reckless grin, all battered and bloody and backs to the wall as he sends his voltorb out and sweet Jesus, Jeremy, what the hell -

Jeremy’s voltorb packs a hell of a punch, like his trainer/partner and they manage to get out of that little pickle (more or less) in one piece.

Get back home where Jeremy is all :DDDD as he tells Ryan about his voltorb that he’s had for years now. Jokes about it being a secret weapon no one ever expects and so on and Ryan is just well, obviously, because lunatics and voltorbs and it makes so much sense voltorb is Jeremy’s favorite now.

Anyhow, anyhow.

Shenanigans galore with the two (four of them?) out sekrit agenting/operativing all over the place.

At some point they either manage to rip out the baddies infiltrating their agency by the roots and put an end to that nonsense for good and stay on with the agency for forever? (OR until they decide to retire from fieldwork, train the next generation of agents/operatives or just retire completely.)

OR they have to go fake their deaths and go into hiding somewhere and end up in the FAHC where Ryan decides to call himself the Vagabond and everyone assumes Crossbones or whatever he calls her was a deliberate choice because reasons?

AND.

Or course Crossbones evolves into a houndoom at some point. Some critical moment on a mission that ends up saving Ryan’s and Jeremy’s lives and is Super Dramatic?

Fierce little hound evolving into a vicious houndoom and oh Jesus Christ, the baddies are in for it now.

And you know, Ryan getting his hands on houndoominite at some point?

A gift from Jeremy for his birthday or something because they’re not mutually pining idiots over here or anything. Ryan giving Jeremy a heart attack on a mission where he almost dies and Jeremy figures giving Ryan something like that might keep him little bit safer? (God knows Crossbones would never let someone hurt Ryan if she can help it, has proved it time and again in the past, so this can only be a good thing?)

Whichever route things go, Jeremy thinks it’s hilarious as hell that Ryan is forever picking up all these random pokemon wherever he goes?

If they end up sticking with the agency and training up future agents/operatives the rookies/newbies are like !!! when instructor Haywood plops a pokemon in their arms and tells them to look after it for him for a bit?

Either Ryan thinking the two would be a good fit – as partners in the field or just adopting the pokemon as a pet, whichever – or he’s just fucking with them for the lulz?

Some rambunctious pokemon that’s proven a good way to root out unsuitable agents/operatives before they can become a liability in the field or whatever.

OR.

The spooky Vagabond picking up stray pokemon all over Los Santos, right.

Hanging out at the penthouse with bby!pokemon (omg, pichus) climbing all over him and looking one of the others dead in the eye daring them to say something about it when he’s new to the crew and they don’t know what a doofus he is yet.

Jeremy coming in later and being like >:DDDDDDDD when he sees Ryan with tiny pidoves on his shoulder at some meeting spot or other. Itty bitty igglybuffs hopping around his feet somewhere with their tiny little arms held up asking to be picked up.

AND.

Ryan showing up at his and Jeremy’s place one rainy day in either scenario.

Crossbones shaking water off the moment she gets inside. Ryan opening his jacket up when Jeremy notices it moving and what do you know, it’s a Toxel. (Amped form, because Spyro.)

Jeremy’s wanted to get one for himself ever since Gavin told him about them, but for whatever reason hasn’t done it yet? So of course Ryan decided to get one for him or had the luck to stumble on one and was like !!! JEREMY.

So, you know.

Yes.

[canaryatlaw]

okay, so today was good. 8:45 for court again, we got in after not too long, unfortunately the judge decided to be obnoxious and be like “well maybe he just happens to be coming to all these places she is already he’s allowed to be in public places” as if we don’t have a fucking order of protection in place because of him formerly stalking her ffs and then later today I found out the same judge had made a really bad ruling in one of my coworkers cases that was just total garbage and at thi point I’m just like good riddance because as far as we know tomorrow should be his last day at DV and he’ll be in juvenile court now, which I think may knock a few screws loose for him. He was former DCFS legal (which is a very odd role to play in the courthouse) but a judge is of course a very different position. but yeah, it is what it is, I called the client after and she was alright, I just told her to keep documenting any interactions they have and call the police when they happen, maybe we’ll get lucky and they’ll actually do their fucking jobs for once. sigh. so I was not feeling much motivation to stay awake at that point and I had basically nothing to do except get some groceries delivered at some point. so I napped for a bit and at some point got woken up by a phone call for something that I don’t remember, but then I had to stay up and talk to the instacart grocery shopper person because they didn’t have the salmon I picked in the size I wanted (quarter pound) so he just got one that was a full pound and I was like a no please pick any other piece of salmon lol and we got that worked out. It was for small group tonight (we’ll get there). So I think I ended up staying up after that. worked on different stuff for a bit, and helped my coworker with a clinic case (so I know ofc I don’t give details about cases because confidentiality and shit but this fucking case was legit one dude used the other dude’s packet of taco seasoning and the other dude pulls out a fucking shotgun, like that shouldn’t be funny but it’s kind of funny). we had our weekly meeting which was slightly odd because our boss wasn’t actually there, she was stuck with like a kids doctor appointment or something. so my one coworker who has been increasingly acting like she’s in charge recently ran things after volunteering to do so. I don’t know, at first I didn’t really mind, it just seemed like she was eager to do things like she’s gunning for a promotion that doesn’t exist, but then she started like, giving orders and not just when our boss wasn’t there and it’s been a little like....and I mean out of the 3 of us that hold the same position of staff attorney she’s been here the longest, I think a year before my work buddy who then was here a year before I did, so I still often feel like I don’t know what I’m doing with shit and my instinct would be to start relying less on my boss for like reviewing shit and just do it myself but then my yearly feedback evaluation was like, ask for help more (which I’m pretty sure was because when I’d run into a problem I’d ask my work buddy and not my boss, lol) so I don’t feel like I should back off there either. sigh. I don’t know where I’m going with this, it’s just stuff that’s been on my mind lately. but the meeting ended, and the rest of the day I just worked on stuff and finished up a bit before 6 and then ran around a bit trying to get things ready for small group. we were doing like apple everything this week so we were doing apple cider glazed salmon, honeycrisp apple salad, and apple turnovers, with an optional drink that I got the non-alcoholic parts for but just ended up being apple cider and ginger beer, but it was pretty good still, I don’t think my body would like me ingesting too much ginger beer so I was kind of mild on that. we did the apple turnover first, I had thawed my puff pastry with the whole box out so when I was trying to unfold it it was all sticking to each other and the papers and just ended up being a big mess but I ended up making it work, dough and apples cooked with cinnamon and brown sugar, not too hard in the end. after that we did the salad, which was pretty boring because I’m not really a salad fan but I played along, a lot of the ingredients were more for the dressing which had a lot of apple cider vinegar in it which I’m not very fond of so I ended up splashing just normal apple cider into it with a little oil lol, I knew I probably wouldn’t eat too much of it anyway so I wasn’t too concerned. we finally moved onto the dinner part, taking out the salmon and cooking that first. I was telling them I hadn’t had salmon in like, 10 years, because my mom made it a lot when I was younger and I never liked it, but I decided to give it a try again here because the recipe showed promise. so that part was easy, then we had like butter and a bit of oil in a pan to cook shallots (which I actually bought when I normally omit onions from my cooking but I can like shallots sometimes so I grave it a try) then with the apple cider and add the other stuff, then top the salmon with the sauce and go from there, and oh it was so good, I was very satisfied with it. I had said something about liking it with the other flavors which then brought up that my mom would like, serve it plain and that she was like the stereotypical white mom who would served breaded chicken plain as dinner, and that generated a good amount of laughter from everyone and 2 of the group leaders who are WOC were a mix of laughing and being horrified at the idea haha and I just laughed and said that’s why I own a shitton of seasoning and pull recipes from different cuisines, doing a lot of asian and mexican (well more tex-mex, but still) recipes as well as italian ones so there’s always plenty of flavor. we stayed on for a bit just chatting and eating, and ended up a bit after 8, at which point I transferred to the couch and watched Chicago Fire, ended up finishing season 3 and DAMN that season finale was intense, the scene at the factory fire and the chief forbids anymore of his men to go into the building to retrieve the others who might be stuck under any circumstances, then goes and runs in himself just like oh damn, that got me good, and of course they had a great ending to the season. after that I cleaned up a bit and jumped in the shower, then started getting ready for bed and now of course I’m here and it’s already way too late, I may get to nap in a bit tomorrow but we’ll see, I should go to sleep now. Goodnight friends. Happy Friday.

[venusloveslobotomies]

Pyromania (Bucky x Reader)

A/N: This is my first time posting writing and I would love literally any feedback at all! I’m honestly terrified to put my shit writing out there but I may as well suck it up and just do it! The ‘reader’ is Korean and her last name is Kang. The face reference is optional but it’s helped me get a better idea in my mind of how she looks.

  Summary: (Winter Soldier-Endgame Insert) You’re an enhanced HYDRA agent who negotiated her way out of being a weapon. You’re now the nurse/ aid of the Winter Soldier. You end up escaping with him and follow him in and out of danger while slowly developing feelings for each other.

Words: 1950 (approx) Chapter: 1/?

Kang Y/N, age 16

  I think one of my worst habits is looking at the clock. I know he’s scheduled to arrive back at 9pm for check-up but that will never stop me from obsessively glancing at the clocks in the hallway, in the kitchen, in his room while I methodically go through the nightly routine. Pick up toiletries and first aid kit, hand in the dinner slip for his food, eat dinner myself, change the sheets, pick up his night clothes for the week from the laundry.   I find myself done, having gone on autopilot and finished the routine quicker than usual. I hang around near where the soldiers usually file in after the training session. A few other nurses happen to be there too, waiting on their soldiers. Given that there’s only six of us with supersoldiers, we know each other quite well.

  All the other nurses are assigned to other enhanced, are put on general service, are sent on missions or are thrown into the front lines of warzones and therefore operate on different schedules.    “Hey Kang, how’s big-shot Soldat going, huh?” Sasha offers a grin and I shake my head at the tall Russki.    “He’s well. So far. How’s your girl going?”    “Great as far as I can tell! She’s not the most talkative though. Bit of a shame. Bet you and Soldat are getting along perfectly,” I send him a disappointed glare but it doesn’t take long to crack into a smile.   It’s hard to be frustrated with Sash. He’s too nice and too young. Well, he may be older than me physically but he entered this work much later than I did, not that I had a choice.     “Don’t forget which one of us is the Level 7, Vasiliev. I’ll kick your ass and you know it,” I prod his side and make a show of adjusting my armband with a large ‘7’ embroidered onto the red cross. He feigns fear but before he can continue with his teasing the doors open and in file the soldiers. I lock eyes with my soldier before waving to Sash, “See you at showers, yeah?” He sends me a thumbs up and saunters off behind his soldier. Soldat has already begun marching towards his room.    I jog to catch up with him and almost start telling him off before I see the glint in his eyes. There’s so little room for fun around here and he’s rarely in a good enough mood to be teasing so it’s difficult to be annoyed. Once we arrive at the room however, he sits down and the extent of today’s training becomes clear. I can see his bloody face and twitching metal arm. Ok, so maybe not so much in a good mood.    “Might need to relocate my other shoulder,” His Russian is harsh and unnatural but not accented like mine. It’s different to the other soldiers and guards here, who are all native speakers. I make a mental note of his tone before I pick up the clothes, first aid kit and toiletries and we walk towards the showers. He tries to take them from me but I smack his hands away and force him to walk in front of me.   Now, the showers leave a lot to be desired. A large room with lockers and shelves in the center and lining the left and right walls are blue curtains containing a shelf and a shower head. On the back wall are sinks and mirrors. At least we have hot water and it was clean. But the smell of blood and misery clung to the room no matter how often it was cleaned.   Soldat led the way past several of his fellow soldiers before sliding the curtain shut in our usual spot. Unlike the nurses who served individuals like Sasha and I, the soldiers were unfriendly to the extreme with each other, no sense of community or friendship. I’m not complaining though. I enjoy having my soldier to myself, he’s easy to get along with and it was already far too stressful getting used to just him. I didn’t need others to deal with. They’ve all got different personalities, none of them easy-going, and one of them has anger issues.   He strips the soaked training clothes off and hangs them carelessly on the shelf before kneeling down and allowing me to examine his injuries. A few cuts, presumably from punches, on his face, blood still dripping from his nose and mouth, a broken rib that’s quickly healing and his shoulder is bruised and tender but not dislocated. I mop the blood off his face and mutter to myself in Korean. He listens with interest.   He’s been learning Korean from me lately, giving us more time together since we’re given a block of time to study. All the soldiers must know 30 languages and any extras to the ones already taught (like my Korean dialect) are accommodated with a block of study time.   I double check his rib. Definitely broken but also definitely healing. The enhanced healing still freaks me out. I was not taught about how to deal with it when I went through my two years of medical training. I had to get used to it and teach myself. I realise I’m going to need to get morphine from the officials. Otherwise we won’t be sleeping tonight.    “Would you like me to get you a recovery day?” I ask in slow, deliberate Korean. I can give my soldier any number of recovery days throughout the year, being his nurse. It usually means an extra day of study rather than training and extra food. Or being sent to cryo.    “Ani,” He shakes his head, “I have the mission next day,” His Korean isn’t perfect, which is endearing since he’s perfect at practically everything else. I shrug in response, though I’m upset he refuses most recovery days. I do know that the officials are meticulous about whether the quality of a soldier begins to degrade but he hasn’t taken any for a long time.     “If you say so,” I sigh but continue disinfecting his cuts and then tell him to wait.   Slipping outside I can see Ira and Nadiya are stripping their outer layers off. Although I haven’t had much opportunity to experience outside life I know nudity like this would not fly outside of this environment. Here, nudity is hardly any issue. The soldiers are used to it for physical examinations and medical exams and their nightly routine. Nurses are unbothered by nudity since we perform plenty of medical duties requiring naked soldiers and all that.   So, we all exchange a few words while hanging our dresses, armbands and hats up and putting our shoes on shelves. We talk about the quality of the food going up since the sixties and whether we’re supposed to attend a medical training session in the next month or so. We’re updated annually on the medical advancements outside of our little world.   I slide back into our cubicle and find the water running. I step further in and my underclothes are immediately soaked. He turns around and offers me a tired smile, twirling the end of my braid with his normal fingers. I smile back and take a shaky breath. I set about washing the sweat out of his hair with shampoo and while he rubs the blood off himself, I begin scrubbing his metal arm. The blood, sweat and dirt builds up easily in the gaps and if it were left to him, the stupid arm would be rusted by now. I went out of my way to request special cleaning equipment for his arm and luckily was granted it.   While we do this, we speak in Korean to help his learning and after a while he seems to relax. It never fails to surprise me when his aggressive personality melts away into the calm man that only I see. I massage his tense muscles with the aid of the hot water and eventually it’s time for dinner and ‘winding down’. For wind down, some soldiers, like a particularly angry man, are sent to the psychs for an hour before they’re put in cryo or bed.  By the time we’re out, everyone’s already begun changing, nurses and soldiers alike. There’s no interaction between soldiers, they seem to be in their own little worlds, but the nurses are happily socialising with each other. I change into clean underclothes and my night dress - a white, floor-length dress with an apron and pin my armbands securely on my upper arms - while I listen to Sasha talking about the pains of acquiring painkillers from the officials.   Paracetamol, ibuprofen and other basic drugs don’t make a dent in the pain our soldiers endure. Quicker healing is great and all but it’s considerably more painful. It takes a lot of convincing as well as a full medical report to get the higher-ups to give us the morphine they need. We all agree and chime in to add points to strengthen the argument.   Eventually, we all clear out of the steamy room and continue chatting all the way down to the living quarters. Two of the soldiers split off with their nurses for cryo prep and we all wave, knowing it’ll be awhile before we see those four.   The guards in this part of the facility must be constantly unnerved by the sound. Usually the base is all business, soldiers and guards and nurses silently carrying out their schedules but the six of us that cater to the supersoldiers are unafraid to be happy and loud. It creates a sense of community and we wouldn’t get that outside of this environment. In any case, the guards can’t touch us unless we pose a direct threat. So, we all spend our time walking laughing and talking in a blend of languages. All of us are multilingual since we travel with our soldiers. So, the guards and officials, who often only speak German or Russian or both are even less comfortable since our usual chatter is a mix of Ukrainian, French and pieces of German and they presumably really don’t like not understanding what we’re saying. It’s mostly just a lot of joking around and bagging on each other for whatever we can think of.   It’s nice but also a bit strange. Even to me. Back when it was only Soldat and I, these hallways were silent as ever. It was a different time. This whole thing is recent since it was only in the early nineties that the other soldiers were created. Then their nurses were assigned and even then, we were acutely uncomfortable around each other. But I’m happy with the way things are now.   As we split off into our rooms, the hallway goes quiet again and it’s time for winding down. I get called to the side by an official. I could laugh at how obviously uncomfortable he is down here. He should be in an office upstairs, getting ready to go home. There’s a good reason why the higher-ups don’t come down here anymore. He hands me a file to prepare for the mission tomorrow. I accept it and watch him walk back to the elevator.   I realise Soldat has gone back to the room without me. As I walk back, I think about how strange it is that all twelve of us are out right now. We’re only taken out of cryo for missions. Ira and Michael and their soldiers completed missions the night before but spent the day training anyways. I presume the other three are going on assignments tomorrow since all of us were released from cryo at the same time this morning.

Part 2

[thiswanderinghope]

Snapshots of a Summertime Sadness || Taylor & Hope

@taylorvoxx

It wasn't said aloud, but it was heavily implied that Hopes new foster sibling was less than fond of the idea of taking Hope with her to the carnival that had rolled into town. In circumstances like these Hope usually tried her best to keep the peace with the family she was staying with, she would usually claim to not want to go, or to feel sick just to lessen the stress on her new foster family. But on this instance she'd already been with them a week and she knew the strain was already there. The family was struggling with new broken appliances already and Hope knew this was only the beginning. So to get out of the house was for the best. Take herself and her bad luck elsewhere. Not only that, but she wanted to go to the carnival. Even if this feeling was an afterthought. It wasn't long before her foster sister got a text and was more than ready to ditch her. And ditch her she did. A little bit of money was stuffed into her hand to amuse herself and not snitch to their guardians before Tori was off between attractions and into the arms of her new boyfriend. Hope left in her wake, upset for herself but not able to hold onto that feeling as nausea from someone getting off a nearby ride overtook her. Curling up to let the feeling pass she didn't realize she'd stopped dead in front of another person. Potentially toppling them over. 

Taylor relished in her Dad’s trust in her, and his trust that this small town was safe. It meant she was granted with freedoms a lot of kids her age wouldn’t dream of. She had a couple friends that still had babysitters at age 15, or at least always had to go somewhere with another friend, but here Taylor was, off on her own to the annual town carnival, driving a truck she technically wasn’t licensed to drive to get there. She liked being off on her own. It meant she wasn’t being forced out onto the boat with her Dad at least. Or getting educated about the fishing business like that was all that ever passed through the man’s mind. Even surrounded by people, she could be at peace being alone among others. If it just meant getting away. Munching on her corn dog slathered in mustard, Taylor wasn’t watching where she was going, and a mistimed step sent her right into the back of someone in front of her. She was able to keep her balance though, and at the cost of her corn dog hitting the hay-strewn ground, she reached out to catch the girl she’d ran into as well. “Shit! I’m sorry. You okay?”

Hope stumbled when a body collided with hers, arms flying out to catch herself if she fell. Luckily for her the person who'd bumped into her had caught her and they both steadied each other. The first thing Hope noticed with the corn on the ground and she almost reached for it before thinking better of it. Whoever it was would definitely not be eating any more of that off the ground. Especially with all that straw sticking to the sauce. "I'm sorry!" Hope says turning around to apologise properly. "Felt sick for a second, didn't think stopping would be so wasteful!" She looks down at the corn and then back up to the person she'd denied food. "I can get you another?" She tries a smile.

When the girl turned around to apologize, any ill will Taylor might have had for the accident drained from her body. She looked uncomfortable and she was being so polite and kind anyway. Taylor took her hands off the girl once she was steady, glancing at the corn dog but mostly focusing on the girl’s smile. “What? Oh, no, don’t worry about it. It was like my third one today I probably didn’t need it,” she joked, shrugging her shoulders, the flannel shirt she wore over a tee-shirt blowing back in the light breeze, her ponytail joining suit. “I hope you’re feeling better?” Taylor asked. “Was it something you ate? Or you think you need to eat something?” Her instincts took over. She’d always been a nurturing person, even to strangers. “I’m Taylor, by the way. You here with anybody?” She didn’t know why that suddenly felt like such a weighted question.

Hope wasn't one to argue, so she simply smiled a little bigger at the other in thanks for being understanding. She really had to get better at crowds, she'd forgotten that out and about could be just as overwhelming as home with the stress that something else might go wrong. "Still a shame, I really am sorry." Hope intoned still. Given that the boy with the nausea had moved well out of her way Hope had no trouble perking up trying to show the other that she was perfectly fine, nothing to worry about. "Oh, yes. I feel much better I just needed to stop moving for a minute I think." she fibbed easily. "I'm Hope. I was here with someone but-" she laughed then, trying to show that it was okay. "She ditched me for her boyfriend. It's okay though, we don't know each other all that well so I understand. I'm not holding you up from going somewhere am I?"

“Hope. That’s cute,” Taylor commented with a smile. “Most people around here have those God fearin’ Christian names,” she added, emphasizing with an exaggerated southern accent, before ditching it just as quickly. “I know like five Marys and four Matthews and that’s just in my class.” She smiled again, suddenly feeling awkward about what she’d just said. “But I like Hope.” She cleared her throat then, kicking at the ground with her boot. “Uh, no! I was just walking around checking out what all they got this year. Ferris wheel is new. Didn’t have the budget for it til now I think. Had a bad bout of fishing last year and that’s basically what runs the town. Live for die by the ocean currents, ya know?” Was she rambling? She felt like she was rambling. “You want some company?” Taylor asked. She’d come out here to be alone but the question had slipped out before she could stop herself.

Hope wasn't from anywhere near here. But she'd bounced around so many of the available foster homes that the closest open spot had been out of state. So it was funny to hear a local perspective, in a just as fun put on accent. Hope laughed a little and beamed. "Well I'm not really from Rhode Island so maybe that's why I'm not another Mary." Taylor was rambling a little, and definitely about a topic Hope knew absolutely nothing about as well. Small town like this she might pick up a few things about the ins and outs, but it was unlikely she'd be here that long. All she could do was smile vaguely at Taylor and nod when she felt it was the right moment. "I'd love some!" Hope answered as soon as the words left Taylors lips. This was a person she had a shot with, someone who didn't know her from before, didn't live with her, and was maybe a little closer in age than her foster sister Tori. "I mean if you don't mind? I just really like having people around." Taylors presence was calming, Hope herself not yet sure why, but would later reflect that maybe it was the dulled emotions, and her open attitude.

One month later

She bounced into the bathroom and hopped up on the counter with an excited grin. Taylor had agreed to help her bleach her hair and she couldn't have been more excited. They'd bought dye, they had toner and she was more than ready to get this show on the road. Hope didn't quite know what her foster parents would think, but she wasn't really worrying about that, she was far more concerned at the time with Taylor walking into the room as well. "Do you think it'll be okay? I mean even if it turns straw yellow that's okay right? Schools not in for ages yet, so it'll have time to not be so mad."

Ever since that night at the carnival, Taylor and Hope had been inseparable. They'd had an instant connection. Two loners out looking for someone to understand and support them. Lift them up. It was a no brainer. Taylor loved spending time with Hope, and she'd stayed at Taylor's house already that summer more often than she was with her foster family. Taylor didn't mind. She felt like she'd never get tired of the girl. And Taylor's Dad was out fishing more often than not, so the girls had the house to themselves. Domestic bliss in their early teens. It was...really nice. That Saturday evening, Hope had commented on Taylor's currently bright blue hair (she was constantly dying it different colors), saying she wanted a cool color too. And now here they were in the bathroom, Hope up on the counter and Taylor's hands shaking as she approached, not really sure why. "It'll be fine, don't worry. I'm an expert, remember?" she joked, mixing the bleach powder up with the developer in a small bowl. She looked up and flashed Hope a crooked smile. "If it's straw yellow we'll just add a little color to it and say we wanted pastel all along. Easy peasy."

Hope kicked her feet with nervous energy, but there was no going back now. She'd spent what little allowance she had from a previous foster home on the developer and she definitely wanted to see what she'd look like with anything other than black hair for once. Feeling a tingle down her spine Hope tenses and her eyes catch sight of the shower curtain fluttering slightly. Her chill was back, goosebumps erupting on her arms as Taylor mixed dye. Hopes eyes followed the movement of the curtain and then hopped down off the counter to put herself between the chill and Taylor. Hoping to deflect any intent it had. Smiling like nothing was wrong as the light flickered a little. "My shirt is white, that'll be fine right? We won't have to throw it away or anything?" she said casually.

It was cute how nervous Hope was, kicking her feet as she sat on the counter. The medicine cabinet behind Hope was open, hiding the mirror because, well, Taylor didn't like to look at herself. And by herself, she meant the weird monster she always saw in her reflection. She was used to it by now, but avoided it when she could. Taylor felt a chill in the air as Hope hopped down off the counter, but just chalked it up to the nervous energy in the room. "Oh, uh, I have a couple towels I used specifically when I'm dying my hair, but you might want to take your shirt off just in case." The moment she said it, Taylor felt a lump form in her throat, and she did her best to swallow it down. "It's, uh, all mixed up! Come sit down when you're ready," Taylor said, clearing her throat and gesturing to the folding chair she'd brought into the bathroom, a towel already thrown over the back of it. She set the bowl of dye down and pulled on some gloves, biting her lip to stamp down her nervous energy.

The suggestion didn't strike Hope as anything to be worried over. She was more focused on what her foster family would think if she had ruined a shirt doing something that she already likely wasn't allowed to be doing. This family were stricter than most, but not about anything Hope felt was important. She had been spending so much time just out of sight and out of mind, staying at Taylors house when her dad was gone. But she was confident that a ruined shirt would go down like a ton of bricks. The chill rose up her back and then it was gone. The light stopped flickering and Hope instantly set about continuing on as if nothing happened. She pulled her t-shirt over her head and sat down in the chair quickly. Hope drew her knees up and she crossed them where she was seated in the dining chair. "When did you dye your hair the first time? What colour did you go?"

Taylor felt a very soft gasp escape her as Hope removed her shirt. It wasn't like they hadn't seen each other change in all the time they'd spent together. She'd even seen this bra before, the one with the red stars on it. They were girls, after all. Nothing weird about changing in front of each other, right? But something about this situation just struck a chord. A beautiful one, allowed to ring out and echo around the small tiled room. As Hope sat down, Taylor picked up the towel and draped it over Hope's shoulders. It was an ugly shade of brown and spotted with orange bleach stains and lots of splatters of color. Like a tapestry telling a story of Taylor's rebellion and insecurity. She picked up the bowl and the brush and started at Hope's roots, slathering the bleach on as she spoke. "Two years ago, when I was thirteen. It was my birthday and my Dad was feeling guilty because he had to go out on the water, so he told me I could 'break one rule' and I chose to dye my hair purple." She shrugged as she continued to work. "I was getting teased a lot then. Shitty friends from elementary school decided to turn on me for no reason. It felt like a shield. Like a helmet to keep all the negativity away." She bit her lip, chuckling awkwardly. "It's...stupid. I know."

Her knees bounced as they talked, her eyes on the bottles in the medicine cabinet just for something to look at while Taylor set about putting the bleach on her hair. Hope bit her lip when the first brush stroke cemented what was to be done and then relaxed back into the chair after that. It was too late to go back now. A whole head of blonde would surely be better than a panicked one singular stripe of orange if she were ti back down now. "It's not dumb I like it. I think coloured hair is so cool, I've just never had the opportunity to do it before. Never stayed anywhere with friends who had hair coloured like yours." she admitted. Though it was no secret that Hope had bounced around, her non accent and obvious lack of personal belongings showed that just fine on it's own. "School is really terrible for mean people." Hope then adds. "I've been to loads of schools, and there are always people who just complain and moan." She might be a bit of a gossip herself, but she tried not to be malicious with it. She just liked to know things mainly. To know things was a nice safe way to be. She lived her life in an avalanche of uncertainty after all. "Well I'm 13 now, so it's my turn." Hope beamed at the wall, not moving her head so that she didn't bother Taylor who was busy.

Taylor instantly felt bad complaining. Hope had it so much worse than her, and here she was complaining about some mean ex-friends when Hope didn't even have a permanent home. She knew it wasn't a contest on who's life was worse or anything, but still. At least Taylor still had her Dad... "Wait, you're younger than me? I wouldn't have guessed that," Taylor admitted, surprised this hadn't come up until now. "You're so mature." Probably because she had to be. "I...really admire you. Like, a lot. Even with all the bullshit you're still so positive and bubbly and full of like, joy and good vibes and shit. It's fascinating to me." She started working the bleach out into the strands of hair now that she was done with the roots, already seeing it lightening before her eyes. "Your hair is gonna match the ball of pretty sunshine I see you as..." God, that was stupid. "I mean...I don't know what I mean. Ignore me." Why had she said that?

They'd spent the first half of summer together constantly, and yet Hope still felt a small little paranoid pit of dread sink into her stomach when she heard Taylor point out that she was younger with surprise. She felt she knew the other girls so well, and still a little part of her braced for the worst. The speech her foster sister had given not yesterday about not wanting to hang around with 'children' so much younger than herself. What followed was far from her fears however and her face broke out in a smile once again. "I don't know. I do get sad sometimes, but you're so much fun. It's hard to be upset when I'm having such a good time." Hope admitted, taking a moment to shift her head just sightly to the side so that she could look at Taylor out of the corner of her eye. "You think I'm pretty?"

The silence rang in the room like microphone feedback, almost throbbing in her ears as she tried to just focus on getting the rest of Hope's hair covered in bleach and stacked up on her head. When Hope finally did speak, Taylor couldn't help but smile to herself. "It's okay to be sad," she said quickly. "You can be sad around me to, if you need to be." She worked her gloved fingertips into Hope's scalp. There was something weirdly intimate about the whole ordeal now. "But I'm glad you're happy around me. That like, means a lot..." When Hope turned a bit to look at her, Taylor retracted her hands, thinking she might have pulled her hair or done something wrong. But the question Hope asked made Taylor's throat go dry. She'd told lots of people in the past they were pretty. It was like, a thing people did to boost each other's egos, right? Why did this feel so different? "Uh, yeah, I do. You're beautiful, Hope," she practically whispered. "Your bright soul shines in your eyes every time you smile." What the fuck was that? She needed to abort mission and fast. "Oh, your hair is done. We need to let it sit for a bit though.”

Maybe Hope was a little too absorbed in how that made her feel that she missed the expression on Taylors face as she said it. Her heart felt light at the admission. She'd never really gotten a compliment like that before. Usually you'd hear things like that from your family when you were young, with no one to really say as much she was rather taken in that moment with the words. Hope slides to sit sideways on the chair beaming up at Taylor. "You're beautiful too." she responds. "Really cool. You're my favourite thing about this town, about this state actually. I hope I get to stay a long time here with you." she admitted not realizing how upsetting that might sound to the other girl. It implied that she would be going at some point. but to Hope that was just an inevitability. Distracted easily by her hair being done, Hope hops to her feet and swings the mirror of the medicine cabinet around so that she could see, but what she saw behind her caught her attention much more than her hair. Her heart races and she freezes in place. Was this a manifestation of her chill? She didn't know. But that wasn't Taylor behind her, or at least it didn't look like it.

Taylor's stomach knotted up as Hope called her beautiful, and she reached back to rub the back of her neck with a crooked, sheepish smile. "Heh, thanks. Not many interesting things in this town though. I don't have a lot of competition," she joked, trying to defuse the weird tension mounting in the room. She had caught the bit about leaving one day, but was just trying not to think about it. "No, wait--!" But it was too late, Hope had already swung the mirror back and she'd definitely saw Taylor's reflection. Until now, she thought she'd been the only one to see it. Her Dad had never mentioned it, and he'd seen her in the mirror plenty of times. She ducked down, out of sight of the mirror, hitting the floor and falling backwards into the shelf behind her, extra bottles of shampoo and body wash crashing to the floor. "Shit," she spat as the tops flew off a couple of the bottles and they started to leak onto the tile floor.

Hope's mounting fear over this being what had been haunting her since birth fell apart when Taylor reacted like she could see it too, like she knew it was coming. It couldn't be her ghosts, no one ever believe her about her ghosts. But Taylors reaction brought about a new nervousness. She continued staring in the mirror just to make sure the image wasn't lingering with Taylor ducking out of the way, but there was no other way about it. That had been Taylor. A little bubble of fear took hold of Hope but she stayed put. Unsure what to say or do next. Her best friend. The girl dying her hair, letting her sleep over every week. Was there something to fear? She was frozen, battling with herself. Hands gripped to the sink Hope felt herself pale. "What..?"

Hope's reaction had been exactly what Taylor had feared. Well, not exactly. She'd expected a bit more screaming and freaking out. But Hope was frozen in fear, and Taylor didn't know if that was worse. "You saw it too, didn't you?" Taylor pulled herself to her feet, the monster appearing behind Hope again in the reflection. And when Taylor's spoke, its lips moved as well. "This isn't what it looks like. Actually, I don't...I don't know what it is at all," she admitted, moving to sit on the edge of the tub, out of sight of the mirror altogether. "Please don't be scared of me. I'm already scared enough for the two of us," she said, tears threatening her eyes, but she tried her damndest to hold them back. "As long as I can remember, my reflection has been that...thing. That monster. I don't know what it means. What it makes me...especially now that I know it's not just all in my head." She held her head in her hands, covering her face. Right next to her ear, the timer she'd set on her watch started to go off, and it made her jump before she quickly pressed the button to silence it. "You, uh, you need to rinse your hair."

Hope stared into the mirror as 'Taylor' reappeared in it. The second glance wasn't any less terrifying as the first, but at least this time she was expecting it. She stared with wide eyes as it spoke, in exact timing with Taylor and then ducked back out of sight. She didn't understand. She didn't know what to do. But she felt Taylors sadness, it was muffled as per usual, but it was still there. She was incredibly upset. She didn't feel like she was lying, like she had malicious intent. Maybe this was why her usually so clear indications of what someone was feeling was so blissfully dull around the other girl. She was something else entirely. Loosening her hold on the sink she glances over to see just normal Taylor sitting on the edge of the bath. Normal. Regular. With a freaky reflection Taylor. "You don't know why?" she echoed tentatively. Her hair was the last thing she wanted to worry about. "I uh......right." she said unmoving.

"I always thought it was just in my head. Like an imaginary friend that just wouldn't take a hint once I grew up," she said quietly. There was no point in hiding any of it now. "But you can see it, which means it's really. It's out there, in the world, whatever it is. Whatever I am? Fucking hell..." She held her face in her hands again, letting the tears leak out now, wiping them away as quickly as they fell. "No. I just know I'm a fucking freak..."

Their stories were so similar yet so far apart. Both of them had something they couldn't explain, both of them hoping that one day whatever it was would just go away. Both of them still living with it. Both just as terrifying admissions. Hope sees the tears, and feels a fraction of the sorror from the older girl and she was unable to do anything but approach her. Hope moved towards Taylor and reaches out tentatively to admit with a shaking breath of her own. "I'm haunted. I'm not...... completely normal either."

As Hope approached her, Taylor flinched just a little, not really sure what to expect. But a gentle hand rested on her and she quickly and quite greedily took it in her own. She needed the contact. The reassurance she was still touchable. Lovable. Worth having around. "Haunted?" she asked, confused as she looked up at Hope finally. "You mean like, metaphorically with all the shit you've been through or like...legit ghosts?" She tried her best not to sound judgy or anything. Now wasn't the time for her usual sarcasm. Her eyes flicked up to Hope's hair, still piled on top of her head as the bleach was starting to crust. "You really need to rinse that out, dude," she said with a little nervous chuckle.

Hope didn't quite know how to answer so she decided to save her hair before they really got into it. She shook her head a little and gestures for the sink. "Help me wash this out?" it was a tentative ask. Taylor looked like she could break down, she felt like she was on the verge as well. But Hope's confidence in her grew in that moment. She still felt the same, she still felt -even if it was a little blurry- like she wouldn't do her any harm. She was willing to trust her gut as she leaned over the sink and turned on the tap to start washing her long hair out. It felt like such a bad moment to be doing something so trivial but there she was.

Taylor took notice of the lack of answer, but she simply nodded as Hope asked for help, getting to her feet and opening the cabinet again so she wouldn't catch her reflection. She ran her hands through Hope's hair, feeling shivers up her arms as she did so. Being trusted to touch her again, after what she'd just seen, it meant more to Taylor than Hope would ever know. Once it was all rinsed out, Taylor handed her a towel and moved to sit back on the tub out of sight, swinging the mirror back in place for Hope to see herself. "It looks great," Taylor complimented. "Even without the toner."

She didn't even glance at her own reflection for a moment, smoothing her hand over her head and wiped the water out of her eyes to look back at Taylor, as if to make sure she was still the same. Although she was still a pre-teen girl, so she did spare a glance when she was complimented. She'd forgotten she was nervous at all, but she was glad that it did actually look good on her. She'd rather have the toner, but she was relieved to find it worked out well. Hope ignored herself again and wraped her hair up in the towel to dry and bites her lip looking at Taylor again. She opened her mouth to start out by saying that she wasn't crazy, but stopped herself when she remembered what she'd just seen would also constitute as crazy in anyone elses eyes. "I'm haunted...like..........ghost haunted I think."

Taylor had never believed in ghosts. It seemed to far fetched, even with her weird monster friend in the mirror. But something about Hope made her believe, even if only a little. It was hard not to, seeing the distress on her face, feeling it coming off her in waves almost. "I believe you," she said softly, reaching out to take her hands. "That's what friends are for, right?"

Yet another month.

It was coming up for the end of summer when Hope finally found out. She'd had an inkling, but something about Taylor had lead her to dream bigger than her life usually was. She'd been gearing up for a new school, maybe even a school she'd manage to stay in for the whole year. But on a Sunday morning, with no warning from her foster family, her social worker appeared at the door with a sad smile and a soft hand. But this wasn't like the other times she'd been sent away from a family, she'd noticed her ghost activity had really picked up since her and Taylor had dyed her hair but she'd really been hopeful that this time it'd be different for the better, not what she was getting now. Hope started to panic and upset herself, her social worker thought she'd been told a week ago when the arrangements were made, and so as not to stir the pot Hope didn't correct him. Instead she let the tears fill her eyes and wandered upstairs to 'collect her things'. In actuality, Hope swung a leg out the window and was off like a shot towards Taylors house. She frantically knocked and as soon as she saw her friends face she started to speak, making no sense. "PROMISE YOU'LL WRITE TO ME."

Taylor herself had been preparing for the school year. The thought of starting high school was scary, but it was nice to know that she’d have a friend to fall back on in Hope, even if she was at a different school. Friends before now had always been hit or miss with Taylor. She had a couple, but she always felt like an afterthought. Not with Hope though. Hope was always on Taylor’s mind, and she could only imagine Hope felt somewhat the same, especially after what they’d admitted to each other. The knock on the door was so frantic it scared Taylor a little. Per usual, her Dad was on the water, and he’d asked her to come with him but she’d refused. Fishing with him had less and less appeal as she got older. Hoping up from the sofa, she tugged the door open to see Hope peering back at her, eyes wet and voice desperate. “What? What’s the matter?” Taylor asked, confused, as she ushered Hope inside.

Hope rushed in and wrapped her arms around Taylor. Her arms wrapped around the other and she starts to explain. Her voice hurried as if she was being chased and had to get it all out before it was too late. Which was sort of true, back in her foster familys home they'd discovered her missing, they were searching the house. Her social worker very concerned as she'd never done this before. "They're taking me away. The Davidsons didn't say a word but it was all finalised last week that I'm to be going back to Maine to a new family. They didn't even tell me, and I'm supposed to be packing right now but I climbed out the window and I'm going to be in so much trouble but I needed to know if you'd write to me, please say you'll write to me!"

Taylor instinctively wrapped her arms around Hope, holding her tight. Why did this feel like it had such a finality to it. And then Hope spilled the beans and Taylor felt tears springing to her eyes. “You’re leaving?” she asked dumbly, backing up to get a good look at Hope’s face. She wished it was some sick joke, but she could feel in her bones it was true. “Of course I’ll write to you!” she assured her, pulling her back into a hug, burying her face in Hope’s shoulder as she sniffles back the sorrow that had pierced through her like an arrow to the heart. “I’ll write so much you’ll get tired of me.” Taylor mentally noted she’d be giving the Davidsons a piece of her mind later, one way or another. But right now her focus was on Hope. “Fuck, I’m gonna miss you. I knew this would happen, but not so damn soon...” and before she could have another thought, before she could even think about hesitating, she pulled back and then leaned in, pressing her lips against Hope’s, doing the only thing that felt natural, because she probably wouldn’t get another chance.

It was a lovely sentiment, and it eased a little of Hopes anxieties about having to move to yet another town, yet another family, yet another school. To know Taylor was going to stay in contact meant everything. Hope clung to the other girl tightly, as they spoke her foster family were already directing her social worker towards Taylors house. She'd been there so often it was unlikely she'd be anywhere else after all. So they didn't have a lot of time. "I'm gonna miss you too." Hope responded, although her teary eyes widened in shock as Taylor presses their lips together. She's flabbergasted when the older girl pulls away. Shocked and unsure how to respond. That had been her first kiss, and amongst all the stress she felt that moment she was dazed and confused. "Wha-?"

Taylor pulled back quickly, her mind finally catching up with her actions and slapping her in the face with them. “I—I’m sorry, I—“ But words were lost in her throat, barely able to squeeze past the lump forming there. “I just, I thought—fuck...” Just then there was a knock at the door, a hard rap that startled the both of them. That sort of angry patience that was somehow scarier than pure anger. The social worker called to Hope through the door, and they knew their time was up.

In that moment Hope didn't have time to process the moment, she only had time to give Taylor another hug. Arms wrapped around the other girl again tightly, no time to address the kiss as she feels the anxious energy of her social worker, probably worried and hoping beyond anything that he'd find Hope there. "Please write me, I'll send the first one i know you're address but I don't know what mine will be." She mumbled into Taylor shoulder. But then she had to go. She turns and opens the door to face the music.

[7hyuns]

nct as doms or subs

obviously excluding the members who aren’t legal i’m not Gross 

a/n; again i have to add a read more because this got. long oops

taeil; 

overall;

probably a power bottom ? or a lowkey switch

he’s so mysterious i just ??

i’d say he isn’t bossy

but he’s nowhere near passive

too stressed to be a dom

is probably not into many kinks

he might find some of yours a lil weird tbh

so i guess overall i’d say,, he doesn’t really want there to be roles

unless he’s particularly feeling something that day u know

kinks; 

getting respected

being listened to

he’s probably got a few wack ones lmao

like. something really out there

u have one discussion about kinks and you’d say something like

“choking’s hot i guess”

and he’d be like “haha yeah i like fire play”

and you would have to figure out a valid reaction to that

aftercare; 

eh just going to sleep

doesn’t really need much

he probably wants a drink or something

but then he wants to cuddle and sleep

unless you’re sweaty and then u have to take a shower

johnny; 

overall;

ok so there is a dom line of nct

and johnny is part of that so

obviously a dom

not too much into pain kinks but he’d indulge you

would probably give a lot of warnings before punishments

enjoys humiliation a ton

intimidating and knows it

so confident ? and sure of himself ? you would never get away with anything

“i know what i’m doing” ok sure johnny go off i guess

knows your kinks before you do to be honest

kinks;

daddy (receiving)

probably a thigh kink tbh

mocking (giving)

anything that makes him more of a dom

likes brats tbh

lingerie (on u)

punishments; 

is WACK

usually he’d praise you quite a lot

but during punishments he wouldn’t even speak

like. good luck getting him to make any noise

a lot of degrading

doesn’t usually do anything besides spanking

occasional denial but he usually sticks to the basics loll

aftercare; 

really soft

lots of hand holding??

gives you lil forehead kisses as he tidies you up

probably just gives you one of his shirts to sleep in

but if you don’t wanna sleep?? neither does he !

he would watch movies with you/attempt at cooking for you

wants you to feel happy and light-hearted before you fall asleep

so lots and lots of joking around together

taeyong; 

overall;

a complete sub

the cutest most obedient sub to ever live

but he still has a pain kink

and he hates being a brat/disobedient

so he’d just want you to indulge the pain kink without him having to act out lol

is a little whiny!!! but that’s not like a brat thing that’s just a him thing

lives for praises omg

one compliment and he will do anything for u  

kinks; 

is into some weird shit

probably has a mistress kink

pain ! (receiving)

choking (receiving)

praise (receiving)

worship (giving)

hair pulling (receiving)

knife play (receiving)

restriction and bondage (receiving for both)

punishments; 

literally never needs them loll 

aftercare;

give him lots of nose kisses !!

play with his hair while he gets his breath back

u gotta find cute or funny videos for him to watch too otherwise he gets bored

especially if it’s been more intense and you need to do more

doesn’t like to feel dirty so he’ll probably need to shower

most of the time him showering means he wants you to change the sheets while he does

overall it’s just about getting tidy and then sleeping with him

yuta;

overall; 

part of the nct dom line

into some kinky shit

how he acts/wants you to act is really depending on his mood

if he’s in one of his good and joking moods then it won’t be intense

it’ll still be rough but u know

and he’d find it more amusing if you were a brat when he’s in that mood

but if he’s in a bad mood then he’s gonna be Rude

he’d just want you to behave lol

and everything would immediately be 10x more intense

not even mildly he’s into voyeurism

kinks;

bondage (giving)

threesomes (only occasionally!! and it couldn’t be anyone you’d see again or he’d get jealous lmao)

body worship (giving)

worship (receiving)

roleplay

strip teases (giving and receiving)

voyeurism

light sadism  

punishments; 

ok so he barely ever just sticks to spanking

the punishment would change depending on what it’s for

so if you were just being a brat he’d commit completely to orgasm denial

if he was in a particularly good mood then it’d just be overstimulation

humiliation!!! he’d want you to literally beg for Anything because he finds it funny

also i think a big thing for yuta would be public teasing

especially if you made him jealous

and he wouldn’t even be subtle like he doesn’t care if people find out because “that’s up to you”

aftercare; 

an actual angel

always asks what you want him to do

and he’d do anything unless it was you just wanting to sleep

like. no. not allowed

his main points would be; getting you to drink/eat something, making sure you’re clean, making sure you feel okay overall

but if at any point you’re just like “idk i kinda want ice cream but it’s 2am”

then!! it’s time to go on a drive and get you ur ice cream

will literally go to every length to make sure you’re happy before you sleep 

kun; 

overall;

no more discourse he’s a dom

not in the dom line of nct because he’s not a Big Dom

but he still is one stop overlooking this

pls don’t be a brat for him he can’t be bothered

might find it amusing for like five minutes but any longer and he’s just disinterested

it might not even a kink thing it might just be a natural thing for him honestly

if you ever did something wrong he wouldn’t tell you

it’s up to you to figure it out !  

kinks; 

maybe a daddy kink

oral (giving and receiving)

light power play

still wants it to be intimate so hand holding is a big yes from him

hair pulling (giving)

praise (giving and receiving)

bitch kissing is his kink! he will give you a hundred thousand kisses like it’s his brand

punishments; 

tbh he isn’t too into them

but if he knows you like them he’s happy to indulge it

isn’t big on spanking

but he does like overstimulation!! maybe not even just as a punishment

he’d still praise you though!!!!!  

aftercare; 

i think kun’s probably quite intense so aftercare is a definite

lots of soft kisses

plays with your hair while you get your breath back

makes you something cute to eat like pancakes or smthn  

wants you to drink a lot!!!

re-dresses you in cute lil pyjamas

waits for you to fall asleep before he does

doyoung; 

overall;

part of the nct dom line

a sadist

isn’t very into brats at all really

would not like not being listened to at all

u know that one look he always gives jungwoo?? yah he’d look at you like that a lot too (is it jealousy? is it anger? is it just him checking you out? who can tell?)

speaking of which, he is the most jealous person in the entire world

will literally punish u for the smallest things?? and then he’d come up with some Dumb excuse like “uh well i personally think that your disinterest of avengers (infinity war, part one) back when we saw it last month was very rude of you”

like. that’s it. that’s doyoung summarised as a dom

kinks; 

pain (giving)

pain (giving)

did i mention he has a pain kink

extremely submissive people

would probably want his kinks to go out of the bedroom

anything that makes him more of a dom tbh

restraint (giving)

marking (giving)

vocal command (giving)

punishments; 

rip it’s been nice

he’s so mean

degrading !

his pain kink gets. even bigger

bondage is a punishment with him

spanking but he makes you count and thank him

orgasm denial and then overstimulation

will literally outright mock you for whatever he’s punishing you for

if you don’t behave as he wants you to during the punishment:

he’s even worse! good luck ever sitting down for the next month of ur life

but if you do behave ! he is your biggest fan !!

lots and lots of light praise (calling you a good girl would be his biggest form of praise lmao)

aftercare; 

is soft at heart

a lot of praise

pretty much just him complimenting you for a few minutes lol

has you take a shower/bath because he’s Mean and you’d need to

forehead kisses !!

cleans up while you wash but if you asked him to stay his heart would literally zoom

knows your most comfortable clothes to sleep in and tumbles them to make them warm for u

would really just wanna sleep but if you wanted to watch a movie or something he would

even clingier than usual!! lots of cuddles

overall he’s just sleepy and really Soft  

ten;

overall;

a sub !

a complete brat but still a sub

the biggest tease

lives for being punished and making you mad

would attempt to power bottom occasionally but it wouldn’t work

that v live where he said “i’m a good boy, though”

what u are ten is a liar

he would be so difficult to deal with

gets off on provoking u tbh

he would try every single kink that exists !  

kinks;

bondage (receiving)

provoking doms is his biggest kink

overstimulation (receiving)

praise (receiving)

pain (receiving)

punishments (receiving)

dressing fancy

strip teases (giving)

marking (receiving)

punishments; 

it’d be impossible to find one

because none of them are even vaguely bad for him

spanking? he has a pain kink

orgasm denial? it just makes him feel better whenever you give up

overstimulation? he’d be adamant that “that cannot ever be counted as a punishment”

bondage? good luck, it’s one of his biggest kinks

being stoic with him? he thinks it’s attractive

blindfolds? considers it as trying a new kink

but ! you do eventually find one to make him freak out and behave

literally just threaten to not get him off at all and he’s a certified Good Boy

aftercare;

boy is whiny

but in a cuter way than before

wants at least 100 kisses

but also needs a moment or two alone to just calm down

so you’d take that minute to tidy up and maybe get a bath ready

just so he can feel clean !!

wants candy. like if there isn’t any guess you gotta go on a road-trip ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

then he’d fall asleep pretty quick honestly

jaehyun; 

overall; 

dom line of nct has a new member oof

mean dom

maybe a lil vicious

would take the lead on everything

pretty stoic and wouldn’t really tell you what he’s into

intimidating !

probably stoic during as well

isn’t super kinky but has set kinks already

has the classic colour code system u know

always, always leaving hickies like u better either ignore the weird looks people gonna give u or invest in a collection of turtle necks  

kinks; 

mocking (giving)

is the definition of the “sweet in the streets, freak in the sheets” meme

light degradation (giving) (would feel a lil bit bad afterwards)

pet names pet names pet names

dirty talk (giving only)

orgasm denial (giving)

overstimulation (giving)

anything that shows off physical strength

choking (giving)

lingerie (but specifically pastel coloured sets)

punishments; 

i mean it just isn’t fun

he’s mean

degrading that he’ll definitely feel bad for later

probably just sticks to spanking ?

doesn’t say very much aha lol haha

makes you count and apologise

wants u to hold his hand whenever he either overstimulates/denies you just so he can know you’re definitely ok  

aftercare; 

wow you really struck out with mr jung jaehyun  

he will literally go above and beyond to make you feel nice before you sleep

you want cuddles? what else does he have arms for !

you just wanna sleep? he’s got comfy pyjamas and warm sheets for u to curl into !

you want cooked food? he’s turning the oven on !

you want a milkshake from a specific fast food place? vroom vroom time 2 go !

maybe you just wanna take a quick shower? he’s got ur towels out and tumbled them to make them warmer

literally. aftercare with him might be the best part about dating him overall man he’s so great 

winwin; 

overall; 

to be honest

if i’m honest

he’s a switch

doesn’t really have a set preference on being a top or bottom

but when he was the sub he’d always end up getting impatient and just being a power bottom

doesn’t like feeling out of control so

he’d wanna have some control even if he was being the sub

like i would say he’s just a dom

but i do think he’d like to sub sometimes

although he does want people to think he’s a complete sub

and then he’d switch and you’d be ??? confusion

kinks; 

dirty talk (giving)

restraining (giving and receiving)

choking (giving)

hair pulling (receiving)

body worship (receiving)

VOCAL COMMAND (giving never receiving)  

punishments; 

let me start by saying that winwin would not ever under any circumstances be punished

like. he won’t accept this

he likes being lightly overstimulated and maybe occasionally having you scratch at his back

but punishments are a No from him

however! he would lowkey like to punish u

likes spanking but it’s just eh for him

he ! really ! loves ! orgasm ! denial !

it would just make him feel so in control and powerful

and like he wouldn’t have a voyeurism kink

but he would use it as a lil bit of a punishment for u sometimes

aftercare; 

honestly not much

you’re both tired and sweaty

so you’d take a shower together

probably wear cute pyjama sets

and then either make a lil snack for you to have while you watch something

or just go straight to sleep

he just doesn’t see a point going overboard if you’re both tired lol 

jungwoo; 

overall; 

cute lil sub

probably a little let’s be honest

a well-behaved sub anyway!!

still a tease but he’s cute so you’d overlook it

loves it whenever you’d be possessive over him !

a lil bit mischievous (verging on being a brat sometimes,,)

but he’d flirt his way out of it we already know

pouts when he’s in trouble but he doesn’t actually dislike it

doesn’t really like it when you’re actually mad at him ?

but he does enjoy being manhandled

he does also have a small pain kink but not if he’s being punished

kinks;

praise (receiving)

worship (giving)

light hair pulling (receiving)

vocal command (receiving)

pet names (especially baby boy)

light to medium pain (receiving)

kisses !! he loves kisses !! they’re literally a Kink for him

give him two (2) kisses and he will do anything for u  

punishments; 

would most likely never need them

but if he did he’d only like a few of them

public teasing is fun for him because he gets all flustered and he’d look really cute !

orgasm denial is nice but he doesn’t really like overstimulation!!!

also. bondage would be a punishment for him just because he loves being able to touch u

but he likes spanking only if you hold his hand and praise him

aftercare;

ok to be honest he probably has a specific plushie that he has for aftercare

wants to be pampered

give him all the kisses!! play with his hair!! do a facemask with him!! put some lip-balm on him!!

wants to watch a movie before he goes to sleep just so he has some time to talk to you

doesn’t really wanna shower but would occasionally take a bath with you

if u don’t make him cute lil snacks that u know he likes then what’s the point

probably wants a juice box or something instead of water he’s a Baby

needs to be cuddled for a while too

would need you to tell him to go to bed otherwise he’d just fall asleep wherever he’s watching the movie

lucas; 

overall; 

i,, honestly don’t think he’s a dom

i mean i don’t think he’s a sub either

or a switch

i just don’t think he really gets into the roles??

might occasionally be a little rough but not really. as a dom

i know he comes off like a confident lowkey intimidating flirty boy

but,, he isn’t just that,,

he’d just want it to be nice for you :((

can be a little intense

but it isn’t a kink thing lol he’s just greasy

and it’s even worse when he’s being romantic !

he’d give you ten compliments a minute bro he goes off

kinks; 

now don’t get me wrong just because he’s romantic doesn’t mean he doesn’t have kinks

teasing ! especially in public he’d find it so funny

but he’d also find it amusing if you did to him

make-out sessions are a must for him,,, every time

oral (giving and receiving)

hand holding!

worship (giving and receiving)

hair pulling (giving and receiving)

dirty talk (giving and receiving)

punishments; 

there wouldn’t be any for either of you!!

aftercare; 

really just cuddling

maybe watching something together

and eating something nice that he got earlier

makes sure you both drink something!!

wants to see you in his shirt though

does the greasy “wanna take a shower together,,”

mark;

overall; 

he’s a dom go away

might start off as a slight switch just because he’d follow along with what u want at first

but as he gets more comfortable it’s over for us bitches

would be mean and verging on stoic

snaps all the time ! he would be so Angry

if u tease him even once he would have an absolute meltdown?? like whom ?? what is the reason?? I am in Charge?? what do u want ?

wants you to mess up so he has an excuse to be extra mean  

like you’d be chilled out and then he’d just say something like “so,, what do u think of jaehyun”

and you wouldn’t really think about it so you’d just say “i like him he’s funny lol”

but mark would,, “do u think he’s hot”

and you would know what he’s trying to do but you still don’t know how to get out of it,, ur like,, “I guess,,,”

but then mark would pull a 180 and be like “so u think he’s ugly”

and ur like “no!!”

“so u think he’s hot” 

kinks; 

worship (receiving)

is manhandling a kink (giving)

choking (giving)

pain (giving)

maybe wants a small power struggle but only when he can be bothered (he’ll always win but that isn’t the point)

hair pulling (giving)

honestly anything that’s verging on violent

vocal command (giving)

begging/whining (receiving)

his biggest kink is just being listened to like

punishments; 

mark lee,, is just rude

like he thrives on punishments

spanking is his go to and he wants you to go the full mile and count/apologise/and then thank him

overstimulation is fun for him because he feels Powerful

orgasm denial is another go to just because he knows you don’t like it

blindfolds are a punishment too

only occasionally though because he clearly likes eye contact

lots of degrading  

aftercare; 

high fives you and says “that was great bro”

no but there isn’t really much to it for him,,

he’s tired ! he wants to sleep

checks to make sure you aren’t hurt

makes sure you’re feeling ok

and then you cuddle and sleep

if there’s anything wrong (example; if you’ve got split skin or anything then he’ll clean them up and put cream on them) then he’ll take care of it

but overall he just wants to sleep lol 

[nobodies-png]

ALL HAIL THE LORD OF MODERN AU *bows* please except the humble offering of my faith and devotion. Please, oh great one, bless us with headcanons about the holy Sora Quintet road tripping with their s/o.

as your lord, I d e m a n d some bitch lasagna to be offered - im so h u n g r y rn

Sora : 

I can’t stress this enough gu y s, Sora always w a n t s to bring everyone along. He lives by that “the more the merrier” motto and won’t hesitate to rent a van if MORE people tagged along - of course you want this to be more intimate and less chaotic so he has to settle with a road trip date.

Because he’s a people person, you guys will most likely end up meeting a lot of different and peculiar people on the way, even if it’s to ask for just directions. All of them friendly too, so don’t worry ! (try not to get jealous if he starts to give everyone his number, he just has a talent for making friends)

Sora would definitely overpack. But just adds shit that you guys will probably don’t need or that he just wants to take along, like you know, this one teddy bear he likes to cuddle while sleeping (he gets homesick way easily) and whatnot. You’re gonna have to help him out here.

Vanitas :

He literally shows up at your door with one crusty looking backpack on his shoulder and asks if you want to go on a spontaneous road trip with him. What do you mean if he has planned anything ? H A H, of course not ! Who do you take him for ? Well, actually maybe there is something - 

Like you know, he wants to see a meteor shower that’s happening somewhere aaaand he thought it would be nice if you came along. But please wipe that shit eating grin off your face. He won’t let you inside the car if you don’t stop smiling like that. That’s it, he’s going alone gOODBYE-

Okay but if you want adventure, just go on a roadtrip with Vanitas. He plans absolutely nothing but the bare basics and lets the universe decide your fates. However, if anything goes wrong, he always manages to turn that situation into a decently pleasant time (right after either throwing a tantrum or trying to fight his way out)

Ventus :

Like Sora, he overpacks - but instead gets everything that you two might need in case of e m e r g e n c y. Sunscreen, sunglasses, parasols ? Got it. Raincoats, extra clothes ? Got it. Like yeah Ventus we get it, you can protect your partner from the apocalypse itself, geE Z.

One of his biggest fears about road trips is ending up in an awkward silence and running out of interesting things to do, so he’d try to plan the route with the most interesting things ! 

At first he’d be nervous, because he’s never driven for so many hours but he’s too polite to ask you to take the wheel for a while. Once you see him start blinking f a s t e r and looking around as if consumed by paranoia itself, it’s your turn to drive, buddy. Ventus gets increasingly paranoid and meticulous the more he drives, but he does loosen up more during the trip.

Roxas :

Roxas would use his braincell and plan this roadtrip with you, like that seems to be the best idea here. You two would decide on a place to go and the things you’d like to do on the route, e t c ! He’s also very calm about it, like sure some stuff can go wrong but hey, you got each other in the end.

If you two go through the country side, he’ll d e m a n d that you two pull up to pet the cows. And the horses. And the sheep. And literally any animal that’ll allow you two to pet it. Also to take pictures, cause he l o v e s having these little reminders of your trip together.

Because there’s never any stars visible at night where you two live, he’d love to do that cliche thing in movies, where you two will just stop in the middle of nowhere and sit on the hood of the car to stargaze and chill until sunrise.

Xion :

Road trip ? Don’t worry, she’s got this. You can just sit back and relax cause Xion is on top of her shit, so she’ll get everything ready pretty quickly ! We know she’s good at organizing, but doesn’t reach the level of controlling freak - she’d love some unexpected adventures during the roadtrip ! 

And that’s exactly what would happen. Surprise ! You two got lost ! After a few moments of silent frustration, you would suggest the idea of a s k i n g the locals (since this GPS is going fuckin haywire, GPS become human). Xion would be a little bit hesitant, since she was supposed to plan the perfect trip. But she’s not as stubborn as the rest, she’d listen to your advice and b a m, you two are back on your path ! 

Wherever you two end up going, she’d love to get little gifts for your friends back home ! Postcards, keychains, little plushies... You name it. She would also take sneaky pictures of you, both memey and aesthetic.