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imagine-by-susu · 5 years

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Percival Graves x Abused!Reader - I don’t want to lose you

A/N: Okay this some sensetive stuff right here and I probably re-wrote this 100 times at least, but I finally finished and I hope you guys like it. It was a request by anon. PS: And sorry, didn’t prove it yet, so sorry for any mistakes I made.

Warning: abuse (emotional), if you are not comfortable with this I won’t recommand you to read this, mentions of injuries (so a bit blood i guess?)

Word Count: 3.634 (I got carried away a bit) GIF IS NOT MINE _______________________________________________________________________

“…and so, I decided it is best to marry in spring.” your sisters voice came from the kitchen as you entered your home. It was a tiring day at work and you were glad to be home but as soon as you heard your sister you knew that you should’ve stayed at work. Still you wore a smile on your face after you hang up your coat and walked into the kitchen to welcome her. “Good evening, mother” you nodded to her then you turned to your sister. “Hello Dorothy, I didn’t know you were coming over.” but your sister only scoffed at you and your mum, well she didn’t even look at you. In this moment you could careless, all you wanted was something to eat and your bed. “And what about you (Y/N)?” your sister than asked not looking into your direction. With a risen eyebrow you turned to your younger sister silently asking what she actually meant. “Your sister asked you a question.” came finally your mother. So, she can speak… “Please be more specific Dorothy I can’t read your mind.” you said before you turned back around to the cupboards to grab a frying pan. Dorothy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, leaning back in her seat. “When are you getting married?” she asked like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Hm, I don’t know, maybe when the world isn’t hunted by the community of the dark wizards maybe?” you questioned her sarcastically. Indignant about your answer she turned to your mother who simply shrugged her shoulders. “If she only had a better grip on men like you have Dorothy, she would be married already.” your mother talked to your sister as if you weren’t there at all. You bit your lip and tried to take deep breath. Just make some dinner and then go to bed (Y/N), you thought to yourself while you’re prepared yourself some food. “Anyway, Johnathan and I…” when your sister mentioned his name you simply clattered your plate down onto the kitchen island, your back still turned to both women. Dorothy and your mother looked at you as if you had gone crazy. “Are you mad?! Stop ruining my plates, you stupid girl!” your mother shouted at you. Of course, she would only recognize you when you did something bad. Swallowing down your pride you apologized and left the kitchen to go to bed. Your appetite now gone. -

“I am sorry Madam President.” you hurriedly closed the door behind you while all the heads were turned to you. “Miss (Y/L/N), late once again.” Madam Picquery scolded you and you nodded apologetic once again, but she dismissed it for a later time to discuss. Quickly you made your way to the table everyone was gathered around, ignoring the gaze of your colleagues. You only gave Tina Goldstein, a friend and colleague a reassuring smile when she sent you a worried look. “As I said before…” Percival Graves started, sending you a glare for interrupting him in his speech before he pointed to a map that laid out on the table. Carefully you listened to his words. You’ve worked with Percival Graves on multiple Cases and he deserved the position he was in more than anyone else. It made you only feel worse for interrupting him, again. It wasn’t the first time you were late to a meeting because one of your family members talked you up for something you should do for them, especially after the engagement between your sister and your past lover. It made thinks extremely uncomfortable and awkward. “Miss (Y/L/N)? Did you hear what I said?” brought Graves’ voice you back to reality. A few seconds long you only blinked at him. “I am sorry Sir, I …” but you couldn’t finish your sentence when he sent you another glare while he straightened his back and looked down at you. “In my office, Miss (Y/L/N), now.” he demanded and left the meeting with nod to the others. Tina gave you an encouraging look mouthing to you that everything is going to be fine. And with a pounding heart in your chest you followed the man, watching his back. He was stressed you could tell by the stiffness in his shoulders and neck. The work did take a tall on him and you didn’t help him either, you made his work so much more difficult. When you arrived in his office, the door closed behind you from itself and you watched as Graves took a seat at his desk, his eyes finally meeting yours. “Mister Graves, I…” you tried but as he rose one hand you shut your mouth quickly and looked down to the ground. “Miss (Y/L/N), it is a shame that I have to call you into my office every time but it seems you don’t learn it. The only reason why I haven’t you kicked out yet is your fantastic skills. Don’t ruin your career like that.” oh how many times did you heard that already? “I know, Sir and I am more than grateful to be here.” “Then why do you keep on disappointing me?” he asked. The words sent daggers to your body, making you flinch a bit. You had always seen your job as a place where you can forget your family for a few hours and now it just felt like you were back home. Percival who noticed the flinch in your body looked you up and down carefully. Only now he realized that your (Y/H/C) neatly curled like always but simply hanging around your face messily. And he was almost sure that the clothes you were, were the same you wore the day before. “What made you late?” he then asked and when his voice rang in the room your head shot up to look at him in the eye. “I overslept.” was your simple replay but he got up and sighed. “Alright, don’t let this happen again or have to take action.” he scolded and you nodded thank him for not kicking you out, for he had all reasons to, even with your skills he highly praised. “We should go than, after all we have a mission.” with that he grabbed his dark blue coat and his scarf before opening the door for you like a gentleman. And with a little smile on your face you left his office making your way out of the building. - Like always it didn’t went as planned. Three groups of Aurors including, Mr. Graves, Tina and yourself, should surround a building that was used for meetings of Grindelwald followers. Whatever, it turned out to be an ambush. As all the Aurors arrived it was a matter of seconds that curses and spells were yelled at each other. You didn’t know how long you were fighting, but you were breathing heavily, but it looked like you were on the winning side. After you sent another Grindelwald follower to the ground you looked around. Tina was fighting of another, she handled herself pretty good. Your gaze roamed over the battlefield and stopped at your boss. While he fought of two opponents you could see another one behind him, ready to send an unforgiving curse. Without thinking about it you raised your wand and stupefied him, letting his body hit the ground at the exact time Mr. Graves managed to get rid of the other two. A bit surprised he turned to the man that tried to kill only moments ago, before his gaze turned to you, opening his mouth to thank you for saving his life but his widen as one of the dark wizards arose from his laying position pointing his wand right at you. With horror filled (Y/E/C) eyes, you turned to the wizards, tightly grabbing your wand but before you could cast a spell a heavy force pushed you to the ground. Opening your eyes you had closed during the impacted you saw Percival Graves shielding you, while he fought of the new opponent. A groan left your lips as you slowly got up. Then you saw how the wand of your boss flew through the air, landing a few feet away out of your reach. Even without anything to defend himself, he shielded you with his body not caring that he may get killed in this moment. But before the dark wizard could do anything you disarmed him and shocked him letting his body fall to the ground. Both of you sat there, breathing heavily and looking at each other with wide eyes, not really grasping the concept that you actually survived, that was until Tina came running together with a few others. “(Y/N)! Mr. Graves!” she shouted, helping you stand up but you grounded, supporting yourself a bit on your friend. Mr. Graves stood up on his own, brushing off any dirt from his coat. How can this man stand like this after such a situation? “We should return back, before more of them show up.” Percival Graves announced and with that all of the Aurors appeared back to the Macusa. Still supported by Tina, you entered the Woolworth building, totally exhausted by the current events. “You saved Mr. Graves, (Y/N).” Tina said in astonishment like she only realized that now and you smiled a little, feeling proud about your accomplishment. This was soon shuttered into pieces as you saw your sister, mother and soon to be brother-in-law that was your ex-fiancé as well. “(Y/N), there you are. We need your help.” your mother declared without missing a beat. Tina rose an eyebrow at that, still holding tightly onto you. “I am sorry Ma’am but (Y/N) needs to see a healer immediately.” she said, trying to get you away from this woman after she had noticed how stiff you have become. Your mother, like always, ignored what was said to her and looked you up and down. “Dear Merlin, if I had now they make you look even more beaten than you already look I would’ve never let you get this Job. You’ll never find a husband like that.” You only rolled your (Y/E/C) eyes while Tina stood there totally shocked about those words. “Tina, can you please leave me and my mother alone for a moment?” you asked your friend, she wanted to protest but you stopped her with a simple pleading glance after she opened her mouth and with a nod she left you after she made sure you could stand probably. After Tina was gone you looked at your mother, than Dorothy and Johnathan you came to you two after Tina had left. “Well, what do you need my help for?” you asked right away, wanting desperately to get it over with. “First of all, be a little nicer, we are your family.” Dorothy pointed out as she linked her arm with Johnathan who tried his best to avoid eye contact with you. “And second we need money.” you only rose an eyebrow at that. This was the reason they came to you while you were at work? Because of money? “Can’t this wait ‘til I get home?” you asked back, feeling a little dizzy already. Probably you took a blow to the head. Again your mother scoffed. “We don’t have time for that. Your sister is in desperate need of a dress. This is an urgent matter.” now some of the passerby’s stopped and looked at your group, some started to whispered among themselves. “You know what?” you said taking a deep, shaky breath closing your eyes for a moment. “Take mine. I won’t need it anyway.” a glare was sent to the man who still kept quiet, not looking at you for a second. “Oh (Y/N), please I won’t fit in there, I mean look at you.” Dorothy pointed out. “I know, she would look much better without all the blood and dirt on her face.” came a voice from behind her and your eyes widen lightly while your family turned around to the man that stood behind them, just as ragged as you were. “Who is this? Your boyfriend, wait no probably he is not.” Dorothy eyed your boys closely before she turned back to you. “And why no, Miss…?” he asked with a risen dark eyebrow of his. From behind your family you to stop him from talking any further, but he simply ignored you as he stared down at your sister. Stepping away a little she gulped, her head shot up to try to make eye contact with him. “Well, she…ehm…” she couldn’t form any proper words at the man and for him the conversation was simply over. He pulled your mother aside who scoffed at his rudeness but Graves just grabbed your arm gently and dragged you away from your shouting family. When he was sure that you both were out of earshot he turned around with a risen eyebrow. “Miss (Y/L/N), I didn’t know your family was so…” immediately you interrupted him. “Caring? Supportive? Loveable?” you tried finish his sentence and you could’ve sworn that you saw the tiniest of smile at the corners of bruised lip, which reminded you of the mission that had accrued just minutes ago. With no Adrenaline left in your body, the pain only grew, so did the dizziness. Percival caught up on it quickly and swung his arm around your waist making sure you wouldn’t trip or fall. Arriving at the medical wing of the Macusa he immediately lay you down on of the many beds that were located on each side of the room. “I’m fine, just a little dizzy.” you tried to get up again but he only pushed you back down gently. “You saved my life Miss (Y/L/N). This is the least I can do.” without waiting for an answer he searched for a healer that could check up on you. “Well, Sir, you were the one that pushed me to the ground afterwards and saved me, so I think we can call this even.” you said after he returned, a healer coming right up behind him to check up on your wounds. And once again you were most certain you saw a hint of a smile on his face, maybe your head just played tricks on you. - “…and then he reacted quickly and pushed her to the ground.” Tina explained everything to her sister, while you shook your head a sighed with a tiny smile on your face. after the healer had dismissed you, your boss called you off of work for the day telling you to rest, but you knew there wouldn’t be any rest at home, so you decided to stay with the Goldstein sisters who took you in for the night with big smiles on their faces. Queenie looked at you totally stunned and with curiosity in her eyes while she waved her wand around to make dinner for the three of you. “This sounds like it was straight from a fairy tale.” she hummed and looked at you with a charming smile. You only shook your head at her words. “It really wasn’t. This is our job; I would’ve done the same when Tina was in my situation and I am sure Tina as well would’ve reacted that way.” Tina gave her sister a glance and Queenie looked directly into your (Y/E/C) eyes. “You like him.” she teased you making you blush heavily. Tina muffled a laughter and turned away to get away from your glare you sent her. But Queenie only clapped her hands together, laying down her wand. “Oh, sweetie, you do. This is so wonderful.” she chimed like a little schoolgirl, jumping up and down a little. “No, Queenie, stop.” you begged her still blushing. “He is my boss.” Tina shrugged her shoulders at that. “So what? Many of our collogues who are married met their partner at work.” “Stop it you two. Maybe I feel something, but my job is more important than that.” you pointed out and Queenie have you a sad look. “Is it because what happened with Johnathan and Dorothy?” immediately after she said those words she regretted it and wanted to apologize but you only stood up from the dinner table that was prepared. “I am tired. Eat without me. See you tomorrow.” with that you marched to the guest bedroom not waiting for any response from the sisters. “Poor girl. She thinks she is not good enough.” Queenie said into the silence and Tina looked at the closed door worriedly. “She needs to get away from her family. They are not good for her.” Queenie nodded in agreement and sat down, eating in silence. - Finally punctually arriving at work you said goodbye to Queenie and stepped into the Elevator together with Tina. Arriving at your destination you both stepped out and you made your way to your office, greeting some of your colleagues on the way. When you thought your mood couldn’t get any lower you were more than wrong as note flew right up at you as soon as you opened your door. Expecting a wedding invitation, you were greeted not with an invitation but a bill. For the wedding, that was supposed to be yours. “Lovely.” you only muttered enlighten the paper with a quick swift of your wand. “Take my man, I can deal with that. Take my dream wedding, that’s okay, but don’t let me pay for that.” angry tears started to pool in your eyes, your hands clenched into fists. Not so kindly you bang your door close, surprising some passerby’s, while you sank down to the ground, ignoring the pain that you still feel from the day before. Only loved by the money you make, not seen as their own flesh and blood. Never a supporting word from them. Sitting there leant on your door and crying silently into your knees you and pressed against your chest you didn’t make out the knock on your door first. Just as someone called your name did you look up. Again, there was a knock followed by your name. Quickly you got up from the ground and whipped the tears from your eyes. The door opened and Percival stepped in, holding a folder in his hand. He looked up from it and rose an eyebrow. He could tell immediately that you had been crying. The tear stains on your cheeks, red puffy eyes. It was easy to conclude. “Miss (Y/L/N), is everything alright?” he asked, closing the door behind him and laying down the folder at your desk. You simply nodded at his question. “Yes, Sir. Just a bit of pain from yesterday, nothing more.” you assured him. He leant on your desk; his arms crossed around his chest making the white dress shirt he wore stretch to the point of almost ripping. “Are you sure? Miss Goldstein told me that some tension between you and your family occupied your mind lately.” of course Tina would tell him. You needed to talk to her later. “Just a little stress about my sister’s wedding, Sir. Nothing else.” again you tried to tell him that everything was ok, knowing fully well that nothing was ok in this moment. “I need any of my Aurors focused on the work at hand, Miss (Y/L/N) and clearly you’re not focused enough.” you gulped, was he going to fire you now? “Sir, I…” “No, enough of your words.” he commanded but you only huffed at that. “Why won’t you let me proof myself?!” you didn’t know from the anger came, or the courage to speak up to your boss like that, but you had enough of people pushing you around like they pleased. “I can control my emotions! Didn’t I proof it yesterday?! Of course not, this wasn’t probably enough. It is never enough because I am good but not perfect!” you ranted on, your voice getting louder and louder with any word you spoke. It felt like a dam breaking and Percival, he simply listened to your angered little speech, still leaning on the desk with his arms crossed. His brown eyes never left your body for a second. “I can’t lose you.” he said after you finished your rant, making you look up in surprise. “Excuse me, Sir, I didn’t catch that.” you excused not sure if you had heard him correctly. “I said, that I can’t lose you.” he repeated, looking directly into your eyes. “Wha…Why?” was the only thing that you could stutter out in that moment. His hands laid on your shoulder, the distance you two had almost completely gone, while you looked into each other’s eyes. “(Y/N),…” his hands wandered up from your shoulders, to your neck and rested on your cheeks. The warmth of his palms was soothing despite the roughness of his skin against yours. Slowly your eyes closed and before you could think about your next move his lips brushed against yours lightly. When you opened your eyes again, he leant his forehead against yours, still holding your face in his hands, this thumps lightly brushing of your still tears stained face. “You proofed yourself a long time ago.” he said lowly. “And you are more than perfect and this is why I can’t let anything happen to you.” The look if honesty in his eyes melted your heart. Never had you seen him so vulnerable before, it only empathizes with his honesty. While he waited for a verbal answer from you, you simply stood on your tip toes and kissed him, this time not just a light touch. Your arms wrapped around his neck, while his hands drifted to your waist to hold you closer, closing his eyes.

#percival graves x reader #percival graves imagine #percival x reader #graves x reader #fantastic beasts and where to find them #fbawtft #john x reader #percival graves x abused!reader #abused!reader #graves imagine

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redhotchilisimblr · 7 years

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With the upcoming Parenthood gamepack, I feel like it's the perfect time to share some tips regarding the tidious process of furnishing younger sims rooms. Some people love it, some don't but we're all on the same page regarding this fact : they all tend to look exactly the same.

It's not only due to the lack of contents for younger sims – which the new pack will partially resolve. But mainly because we all have our own aesthetic, tastes and favorite items and it's hard to put them on hold, even for once. Since I've noticed my kids rooms similarities I tried the hardest to make unique creations which fit their personalities.

Plus, for story-telling purpose it's always good to have very different locations with unique ambiances to visit. With some easy steps, I'll show you how I customize my kids rooms. Of course, there's not only a way to do so. There's endless possibilities and methods. If you check others simmers pictures, you’ll see incredibles ideas and hacks !

The Sims 4 motto is based on uniqueness of each sims. We all agreed that our virtual families still need improvements but it's on a good way. Nevertheless, kids already have a good amont of traits to choose from. Traits can be used a a direction to customize their personal space : active sims can have a ball in a corner, book-worm books near their bed, foodie some fruits posters hang here and there... Same goes for their aspiration !

Imagine walking in your friend's room for the first time : you've some clues of their personalities and tastes by just by taking a look. I try to have the same feelings with my sims.

In general, simmers tend to make “girls rooms” and “boys rooms” with some very significant changes depending on the gender of the kid. I used to do the same but since awhile I like to have neutral gender rooms - or at least, less “genderized” rooms.

Of course, it’s not really obvious at the first look but I’m really working on it. I sincerly think it’s more realistic to have “neutral rooms” for kids because all girls don’t like princess and dolls, and all boys don’t like trucks and robots. It’s more complex than that. Time to time I put some “boys games” on girls rooms and vice versa. I really encourage you to, at least, give it a try and see what happens !

Whatever is your gameplay, some of your sims most likely have a background you imagined or shaped for them. That's my case : I do know their names and what they went through. I've some kids who live in two separate houses because their parents are now divorced ; Kids who don't like to spend their time inside and prefer to play with neighbours ; Kids who just love video games and TV so much ; Kids who live with their grand-parents or uncles and aunts ; Some who've lost their parents and a few of them are adopted.

Well, you've the picture : it's all very diverse and for me it's essential to find this diversity in my kids rooms. For example, adopted kids tend to have tons of toys, new clothes and stuff because I imagine the parents to be so happy to have a kid that they just can't stop buying things. Plus, they waited a very long time to welcome this little girl or boy !

At the opposite, kids who live in fosters homes (I actually have 2), do not have a lot of personal stuff. Their room is nice but it obviously lacks of customization because it's not really « their » home and it's an awkward situation for them. Each background can explain how the room is actually set up. Their room must be just like reading a story. Theirs.

Small houses, manors, cottage, loft, apartments, all kids don't belong to the same social group. And, obviously, their families don't have the same financial funds.

If you want to be realistic, try to fit the household revenue : poor families usually don't have a lot of things to give to their kids, and as a consequence their room might be a little bit empty. If it's a large families, kids tend to have missmatched items because they got stuff from older siblings, cousins, sales or maybe even from charity. Also, if your sims have siblings and they do share their room with them, try to give everyone a small space : it can be a special item that the other one won't ever use, a color theme, photos of their friends, an half-wall... pretty much anything !

I usually make 3 differents spaces in a kids room :

a space to play

a slace to learn

a slace to rest

You can underline these various areas with rugs or differents colors. Last but not least, if your sims share their room with a twins, a older or younger siblings try to make it look obvious who's spot is who's.

Small or big ? Depending on your house layout or household funds, the kids rooms is still an important part of your lot.

I usually took about 1,5K up to 3K to furnish them. Here in France, Kids are a big part of our culture. There's a lot of stuff specific for them (clothes or food lines, objects, parties, special vacations...). For example, when you buy a house here, kids rooms are bigger than parents ones – which is not the case in other architural styles. Anyway, if I've a several kids in a sims family in like to put the younger one near to the parents bedrooms or downstairs (easier to keep an eye on).

As for the actual proportions, it's really up to you : do you want to give a lot of space to your kids ? or do you don't really care that much of what they're doing ? do you plan to take a lot of screenshots inside ? All of these are questions you should adress at some point ; especially the last one. If you want to take pictures of your kids sims playing, try to make a square room (6x6 is a good start). I think square room is the easiest to play with.

But your sims can also have a room in the attic, or a really tiny one... If you don't have a lot of space you'll need to prioritize what's the most important for them : a quiet place to do their homework ? somewhere to do some crazy experiments ? or just chill and dance to some pop music ? There's so much they can do and such a little space to fill ! In my game, I usually put 2 activities per kids rooms (for example, piano or a radio for shy sims who don't want to show off their poor skills to their families).

There's a fair amount of things kids can do – even with the base game only ! They can dance, play instruments, collect things... If your sims love to do something, feel free to gives some hints here and there.

In my game, I love to see my kids collecting and if they bring something I end up by placing the new item on a shelf, their desk or near their windows. I think it's a cute addition and it makes their personnal space a little bit more 'special' (''Look ! It's Trevor... I think he's depress''). You can also pretend that your kids have a lot more of things going on by placing items under their beds or on top of their dressers.

For my kids rooms I usually ending up by picking 2 or 3 main colors with some neutral tons such as white, beige or even brown. Since a few months, I try to use a swatch I never really paid attention to as a start (a rug, a lamp or even a door). There's so much awesome objects we've and that we barely use. For real, I often discover new swatches and I doubt some people know that it even exist ! So dig the swatches more and try to pick this color as a pattern.

All colors have a meaning and I like to give colors following their personnalities or past. Also, don't use too much bright colors as main patterns : it's a real headache when you're plaing... and don't make all your room with one color like yellow walls, yellow bed, yellow toys. It's not realistic and it's not really pretty – according to me, it's just my personal thought. Play with the complementary colors, the textures and the lightings !

Well, most kids are afraid of the dark. So you have to put extra lightings comparing to an adult room (and no candles, please, lol). Some lights in the game are way too bright in small rooms and some don't even do their job. For kids rooms I use some weak hanging light (or I just decrease their brightness) and I add some floor lamps and wall-lights (about 3 or 4). What I love to do is to automatically deactivate all lights, except one. Then, when they're asleep they only have their very cute lighting shining in the darkness. Besides, you can chose another color light which is a really cute addition.

We can't tell it more : clutter is life ! Put some mess, hang their paintings on the walls, size up some items to make it look different, it's all up to you. Dig the debug objects catalogue and re-use items differently. Hang posters, overlap stickers.. Be imaginative !

For more Kids items, I recommand these packs : Kids Rooms Stuff Pack, Christmas Free Update, Parenthood Gamepack.

Cheats codes :

bb.moveobjects

bb.ignoregameplayunlocksentitlement

bb.showhiddenobjects

Tools :

Check for paintings or photos by references in the Gallery

I’ve upload a room named “Kids Drawing” in the Gallery

Also, it's good to take a look at some inspiration catalogues such as Ikea Kids, Pinterest or Houzz.

Others tutorial you might find useful... :

Bunk Beds, by Holliebb

Taking interior pictures, by Jenba

How to make objects tiny, by Jovan Jovic

How to pick a great color palette, by Design-sketchbook

How to buid cc-free, by ohthesefaces

Note : All the pictures above are from my game and are personal creations. :)

#ts4tutorial #nocc

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aly126 · 7 years

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Musings on Forminte’s interview about his plans & updates on gymnasts that didn’t make the cut for Euros

I’m conflicted. So far he seemed reasonable and determined to change something, but my reactions reading this went from ‘yeah, I guess?’, to ‘GOD PLEASE DON’T!!!’, to ‘why even say that’, on several occasions. This is exactly why I’m always cautious when people tell me about things looking like they’re getting back on track. I guess we’ll have to wait and see how things turn out.

So, here are some quick updates on the girls that didn’t make the Euros team, to begin with.

Anamaria Ocolisan missed a Jeager on bars, fell and dislocated her shoulder.

Laura Jurca is still recovering. She is still not trusting her formerly injured leg and lands most skills on the other one, which can be dangerous, so they’re not rushing her.

Maria Holbura is stil adapting. Her 13th place (I think he means with the team - though she didn’t compete in Glasgow?) is not enough and he needs her to be able to bring the team among the top 8 or top 4, so she needs to improve.

Dora Vulcan was sent to Bucharest against his recommandation, just like the others, and they sent her back to Deva with a shoulder injury. She also started having back pain while recovering from said shoulder injury.

More on his thoughts and why I’m confused about what he’s trying to achieve or what the outcome will be, below the cut. (x)

*He gave this interview right before Euros started. Now, on why I’m conflicted. He contradicts himself several times throughout the interview and says things that are simply unnecessary.

He thanks Catalina and Larisa for their dedication to the sport and says he appreciates their effort no matter the results they’ll get at Euros, but later on, he reveals his frustration about how their coaches are supposed to be his subordinates, but they don’t act like it and he can’t know if they follow his advice, so he’ll talk to the Federation about this, to try and fix things. He says he respects them, but respect has to go both ways, and says Catalina never seemed willing to train with him.

So, basically is he hinting at a more centralized system? Going back to what we had before? I feel like Catalina and Larisa should stay where they are. I honestly think Stanei is a good choice for Catalina, he knows her really well, he coached her for years, has a calming influence as she said herself, and he did great with her routines so far. Same with Larisa and the Moldovans, she likes training with them, as they’ve been together for a while now, and they seem to genuinely care about her. If Catalina doesn’t want to train with Forminte, well, so be it! Same for Larisa. Let them stay in Bucharest with their current coaches, like they wanted to, bc it’s been working so far. Forcing them to go to Deva would be a huge mistake, imo.

He mentions having less children joining the sport, losing parents’ trust that their children’s sacrifices will be worth it in the end, and losing gymnasts because they don’t have enough patience with them but then, talking about Denisa Stanciu, he says she hasn’t been improving in a long while, and she’ll probabaly want to quit because she’s smart and sees her limitations, and he won’t contradict her, because having children with no future prospects at the training center is useless. Also, he’ll try to convince the Federation that if they only have 5 gymnasts that fulfill their requirements an expectations, they’ll work with those 5, as keeping girls who don’t improve at the training center is a mistake. The work ethics standards have gone downhill and he wants to fix that.

So, which one is it? We complain about losing children, but when we have them, we inform them they’re not good enough, so there’s no point in having then on the national team. We blame ‘ourselves’ for not having patience with gymnasts, only to forget about it 5 minutes later, and only decide to have select few, even as few as 5 if necessary apparently, on the team, instead of giving others a chance to grow, too. I totally understand not wanting to keep girls on the national team for no reason, but we’re not like the US, we don’t have a lot of girls to begin with, and relying on a small group, is not a good idea, looking back at last year’s injuries and how that worked out.

When asked about Ioana and Olivia’s goals for this competition, he says he’s torn between taking the risk of showing all that they’re capable of, which means new skills that are not consistent enough, or preventing injuries. Should he feed his ego and prove everyone doubting him wrong, or smile and move past this competition focusing on his end goal of rebuilding a team that will qualify to the Olympics?

I was left wondering which one he chose in the end, to be honest.

He wishes people would come to Euros not just for the medals Romania will or will not win, but for gymnastics itself. In other countries, arenas are full because people want to enjoy the competition, while in Romania people just go for medals. Asked if people go to gymnastics meets just to enjoy the show because the rules became harder to understand for the average viewer, he says it’s only hard to understand for Romanians. He says he doesn’t want to diminish the Romanian people’s intelligence, but in other countries, they take gymnastics as is, and people support it as such.

Yeah, that’s right! I’m sure arrogance and talking down to your potential audience will do wonders! The Romanian crowd is not a gymnastics crowd, very true, but where exactly are they supposed to go to gym meets in Romania? We don’t have international competitions (and now that we did, the arena was literally full), and they never promote Nationals, except maybe the last couple of years on FB, so no one knows when they are. Also, people are not exactly rich enough to afford going to meets abroad, just for fun! And, actually, gymnastics is very hard to understand if you have no background in the sport, believe me! But then again, I’m Romanian, so according to Mr. Forminte, it’s harder for me.

He says we don’t have specialists, we don’t have motivated people and we do not motivate our specialists enough to stay here. Later on, however, on a different question, he goes on saying that we complain about our specialists moving to other countries, but those Romanian specialists working for other teams that we always show on tv are not that great. Those Romanian coaches are not ‘super coaches’, most are former gymnasts that didn’t even work a lot in Romania, who succeeded in other countries due to their work ethics, but the gymnastics they show isn’t ‘wow’. Coaches working abroad are not better than the Romanian national team coaches. We diminish the worth of our team’s coaches, except for two people, and that’s why we’re in this situation.

Ok, what even? Is it a stab to someone specifically? We don’t motivate coaches to stay in Romania, but the ones working abroad are not that great anyway? I see his conflict with B&B is still there. He seems to be fighting his own battles, too. I thought he also hinted at that in the part about how Catalina and Larisa’s coaches should be his subordonates. More coaching drama is not what the team needs.

I hope his plan to rebuild the team works out, I really truly do, especially since he acknowledged and seemed set on improving the bars situation, and looked like he was interested in no drama, just in working for the team, but I didn’t find this particularly encouraging.

#forminte #translation #romanian gymnastics #team romania #m #interview

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icharchivist · 8 years

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I was tagged by the sweet @undonesam and amazing @kigamin, thank you <3

1. Favorite anime?

atm it’s definetly Hunter x Hunter and I can’t think straight about anything else, but in general Fullmetal Alchemist and D. Gray Man are always up there.

2. Worst anime?

oh my I rarely watch anime if i’m not recommanded to watch them so I managed to avoid a lot of bad stuff. But when I started watching anime I fell on some harem anime like L/ove H/ina that made me deeply uncomfortable.

3. Do you read manga that goes with the anime?

Usually ye, I’m actually more the kind to read than to watch anime. For some mangas (dgm and fma for exemple) it’s actually hard for me to watch the anime adaptations at time ahah. Anyway I usually prefer to read the manga so if I start an anime and like it, I will check the manga, or read the manga first.

4. Most favorite genres?

lmao I agree with Kigamin, hxh is it’s own genre and this is a good one. Usually I admit I like adventure stuff, I usually easily get into quite light stories that tends to get somewhat darker as it goes by. I like also thinkpieces, the kind of manga that have you push some thinking in general. I’m really into characters driven stories, especially when you focus on multiple characters.

otherwise I like light comedies, mostly in the romance or sport genre.

5. Least favorite genres?

harem, ecchi, loli/shota, all this kind of stuff. I usually get easily turned off if there’s too much fanservice or gross elements.

6. Favorite character?

oh my. At the moment it’s Kurapika. Like ,,, i’m too invested for this shit I love him ways too much. atm he’s all I can think of.

But Lavi from dgm and Ling/Greed/Greeling from FMA are always quite in the top and considering I’m not as involved in those mangas than in hxh, it’s quite telling that those two remained this high in my favs after all those years.

7. Least favorite character?

depends if you mean “character that I hate because of their actions”, in which case, Shou Tucker from FMA is a really, really good starting point lmao

or “character I don’t especially like and isn’t that much of a bad person but I just don’t like them” in which case, Nea from DGM. And okay, he’s technically a bad person, but considering how everyone talks about him I get r e a l l y pissy because I just. Can’t stand him lmao. (I’m starting to have the same feeling with Mana D.Campbell too). The problem with those two characters is that /I know/ they’re going to be developped more and I’m looking forward to their development because for now, they’re at the really begining of what’s interesting in their storylines, but considering the hiatus and all (although no blame to Hoshino-sensei), I don’t feel much for them and I’m just kinda hicky to see them everywhere. (especially with how quickly people loved Mana while there’s still a major ignoring of the Earl so far and that I think I’m going to yell if I see one more “it’d be cool of the Earl became Mana again” no, fuck you.)

8. Qualities you like in a character?

Suffering.huuh jk jk, but idk.

I usually kinda like the fun and/or teasing character with a Tragic BackStory or kinda dark motivations but who gets kinda torn between the happiness they could have, esp thanks to others people, and the duty they put upon themselves?

It really depends. I love characters that often asks to go a bit deeper to read. I love to analyse characters and see complex characters. But usually if the character is a smart mouth who often teases others characters or try to make them feel better, I tend to love them.

(like, I fell for Kurapika when he was teasing Leorio, he hits about all the others mark, smartmouth, sometimes cheer people up, kinda tragic, complex, following his duty even if it hurts him while he can be happier with his loved ones. A bit the same with Lavi, he’s always teasing, quite a smartmouth, he sometimes cheer people up, he’s really worried for people, but his duty as Bookman holds him back and he’s torn between how he wants to help in the war for his friend and his duty that require him to not have a heart. Ling is a bit less torn about it all but he’s really all about his duty, he’s a smartmouth too, he really puts people in big situations by teasing them, and he usually know what to say to motivate people (like Greed). That’s kind of the patern I’d see with my favs)

9. Short or long anime?

huuuuh mostly I prefer long stories so usually long, but again, I rather read the manga if the medium is too long, I rarely have the attention span to watch a long anime. (ie why it’s a miracle I watched hxh2011 in 3 weeks.)

10. Anime or manga?

Usually Manga (if it wasn’t obvious by now o(-( ). Anime often uses Fillers or cut scenes and both makes me hicky when it goes against the canon’s characters development or kinda screw with the timeline of the manga.

And the thing that usually makes me the saddest about it is that also, I love to see the art progression of the mangaka during the manga. Some changes are spectacular and I love to compare the artstyle, and, rightfully so though, an anime usually try to be coherent in their artstyle but y e. That’s my major grip against the DGM’s anime because the artsyle is either surreal or so beautiful in the manga and the anime doesn’t really manage at either o(-(

11. How do you choose the anime you watch?

Usually it’s intense recommanding from people I trust. A few times it could be because of my tumblr dash (I watched gsnk like that) but usually I need someone I really trust to insist I should watch said anime. (and I’m legit the worst at that, it’s been 6 years a close friend wanted me to start hxh, 1 year that another close friend insisted as well, I started it last December after all this time, so it’s telling of how bad I am with it).

12. Skip or listen to intros/outro?

Always watch and listen to them. A Good anime is an anime I’m trying to sing along the intros/outros of. Besides you never know which anime could hide easter eggs or bonus in or after those!

13. How do you cope with friends or family don’t like you watching anime?

huuuh friends are chill, they know me and they know I get really invested in stuff, sometimes they laugh a little because I’m really getting in too deep but they actually even sometimes push me to talk about it. I have a friend who started some of the animes I kept talking about because of that, it was sweet.

Parents and family is not really good tho. I kinda want to act like “I don’t care” and all, but my family tends to over-tease me on it all, and it often gets downright racist in arguments, so it makes me especially uncomfortable. I’m someone who often wants to talk about the things that I love and I know I can’t really with my close family, which is why I’m so loud on there. If I mention anime or honestly anything I like (or hell, if we end up accidentally zapping on said stuff on TV and I don’t do anything), I get a two hours long teasing that gets kinda hurtful at times and again, when it comes to anime, with a racist edge to them or a “that’s why everyone is violent” lecture.

I suppose this blog is my coping of it all I guess? lmao.

14. Do you stop an anime midway if you don’t like it?

Ye. I mean I stopped midway in animes I actually liked but had no energy to pick up and I’m not sure I’ll even pick them up. Hell, I never finished watching say, FMAB or both anime of DGM because I didn’t feel like it. So if there’s an anime I don’t actively like, I’ll drop it. I don’t like forcing myself to watch stuff.

wouhou that was long.

Anyway I tag @ttachibana, @killuabs, @kimievii, @nadejdaro, @unnoticed-and-necessary, @caruchan- aaand @mariyekos

if you want to ofc :D

Take care!

#tagged #about me

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ascrack · 8 years

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Ayahuasca - first cermony

My english are bad, I am not sorry for that tho. Hopefully you’ll get the story straight anyway. ALSO. I did not have any psycadelic experiences before drinking ayahuasca.

Before the cermony started: We had two beautiful shamans During both cermonies, - and "a half" - a man who was learning to become one. Our group consisted of nine participants. Before the cermony begun we did tarot reading. The reading would prepare us for what to keep in mind during the cermony. Tree cards each, I got "The Rebel," "Friendliness" and "guidance". The Shaman told me that The Rebel Means that, I am simply the rebel, the one who always stood out from the crowd, went my own way and questioning everything that people took/take for granted - Which is a good thing. (This is really true, I have been the black sheep in the family, in school, and even around friends. It has been hard, no doubt haha, because I could never fit in with my own beliefs. Anyway.) The shaman told me that Friendliness means that i'll have to remember that Ayahuasca is my friend and that I should not be scared of her, she is here to help me, if i let her - And if I do, it will lead to the next card - Guidance - wich means me finding my inner guide. My higher self. I was happy with my cards and exited for the cermony to begin.

NOTE: I could not decide what I wanted for intention. I was struggling between Healing and Guidance. Healing because I have a past with depression, self harm, eating disorder, anxiety, panic attacks, self hate, suicide attempt, social fobia and anxiety and drug addiction etc, although I have made a hell lot of healing on my own through meditation and never been as happy as I was at that point in my life i felt like i probably had things to work with, subconscious habits or such that made me stand in my own way - and Guidance because I did not know where to go in life, I felt stuck). My inention was simply “Give me what you know that I need. Bc you know more than me what I need.” And SO.. I simply trusted Ayahuasca to give me what I needed.

The cermony begins: One at a time, we got up to recieve our first cup of ayahuasca. The taste was not really that bad. Imagine drinking tree. With a little bit of earth. Or something. Anyway, I went back to my spot and started to meditate, trying to ground myself, but my thoughts was like “OMG IT'S HAPPENING” “OMG” “IM DRINKING AYA” “IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING. “CERMONY STARTED”. I had been waiting to do this for a long time haha! After 30 minutes the drums and the singing started, along with people throwing up an screaming straight out from the depts of their lungs. I waited about two hours before the shaman told us that those who wanted could come up and recieve another cup. By then I was a little bit prickly because I did not feel anything at all while everyone else seemed to be on their wildest journey. I told the shaman and when she gave me my second cup she told me that “It will come, just wait”. I drank it and went back to my spot again. Excited after my other cup. After about another hour I was pretty pissed of. I was battling my ego-mind at this point, I felt dissapointed and I wondered if it did not work on me, and became irriteaded because I spended all this money for nothing, while another part of me was okay with it and felt so much love for the ones around me, understanding that whatever happens is exactly what is meant to happen. One of the shamanas, the healer, came to my seat and put her hand on my heart. “ You are love, you are light” She told me. I did not give her any response. I KNOW, I though back. “You have to let her come” She told me and moved away to the woman next to me who really needed support. My ego-mind took over and in my mind I was like; LET HER COME?!?! What the fuck are you kidding with me? I have been waiting for about 3 fucking hours. FUCK. IT. FUCK. THIS. SHIT. FUCK IT!!

And.. Within this FUCK-IT-moment, Mother Ayahuasca came. And she was NOT gentle with me. Haha! Imagine something that flows through ALL that is - and suddenly youre aware of it. But not only aware of it, because this comes with a flowy feeling, and this feeling took over all that was me, and it was so FUCKING INTENSE that I instantly reached for my bucked and started to throw up. / My very first thought was that I have been in these mindstate before; this is not new to me - even if it was my first time drinking ayahuasa/ The feeling took over all that was me, and it was so heavy that I could not hold my body up. I hang over my bucket, shaking - because She filled my body with fear and horror on a level that I have never, ever, experienced in my whole life, and that never could even imagine existed. I knew that I would not die, but every cell of my body screamed in terror. I could se colorful geometrical pattern with my eyes closed but it was way to much to focus on so I opened my eyes and when I saw my arms holding the bucked- they where soo abnormal? Like is this even mine? In my head i begged for it to stop, to be over. I remember thinking that these shamans must be fucking insane because who the hell would work with this, and that I was stupid to believe that this could help me in any way, and i could never ever recommand this to anyone, and that there is no way in hell that I would ever participate the following cermony the next day. I just wanted the trip to stop. I could not sit. Could not lay down. Nothing was comfortable, my body was heavy and still filled with panic and fear and horror (and these words seems so fucking insignificant compared with what i experienced.. not even close) I just moved around while i was trying to figure out how to make it through, I moved around trying to escape what I was experience, while trying to figure out how to make it through the trip. I heard the one of the shamans preforming her healing on someone else in the room and she sounded like a demon. I prayed that she would not come to me. I thught "She can not come here, make her not to come here, I will flip the fuck out if she comes here, I have to make it on my own." Once that thought came clear - I realised that I* is the only one who can help me. I felt a safe spot in the center of my heart - and once i felt it, the fear instantly ran of me like water. So I just layed there, and felt this particular area in my heart. A spot I want o describe as home, love and security. Once i felt that spot - i realised that that’s me. My core. And I knew that there was nothing to be afraid of and that there is litterary nothing that I can not do.

**** > to be q

#Ayahuasca #aya #cermony #fear #love #learning #growing #tarot #shaman #shamans #rebel #friendliness #guidance #higher self #guide #intention #healing #journey

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