#anyway i think it only ended up on there bc someone rbed it talking about a limitation in my perspective (judging 90s rep by 2022 standards

[skrunksthatwunk]

still thinking about how one of my first yyh meta posts got reblogged onto an sjw cringe comp blog in the year of our woke 2022. truly tumblr dot com, the last bastion of progressivism, has fallen (<- sarcasm) and also i'm kinda baffled that they didn't choose like. me putting yusuke in a skirt or something

[dyketubbo]

mkay. ive woken up, it doesnt seem like theres any new developments, so. post explaining what the hells been going on about the ae/emeraldduo qpr discourse ig woo. this is going to be from my perspective, because i am one person. shocker. anyways,

basic summary: i made a post saying that because c!kristin is canon and philza and techno have boundaries against shipping, i believed that maybe there should be a genuine effort to chill out with putting c!philza and c!technoblade in a qpr or platonic marriage, as c!philza being married to c!kristin is based off the irl marriage and c!philza and c!technos friend dynamic is based off the ccs dynamic even outside of the dream smp (such as, of course, the antarctic empire being a smpearth thing). i also said this because i feel like theres a genuine problem in the fandom with how it treats kristin, not only in fanart (making her skinny and white), but also just. in general, overshadowing her with the idea of emeraldduo being married, shit like that, and it irked me esp bc shes a woc while philza and techno are white men.

people get pissed at me, both to my face and behind my back, and i get insulted, called stupid, arophobic, anti-polyam, told i dont understand friendship and that i dont have friends. i joined a server just to wake up and find myself banned and blocked with no explanation, left to assume that i was talked about behind my back while i was unable to defend myself. out of all the people who disagreed with me, one person. one. person. was nice to me and didnt call me arophobic, actually giving me constructive criticism and a chance to elaborate. one. i finally start to feel better two days after the fact, consulting people outside the fandom to get second opinions and getting happy when people agreed with me and even gave insight to things i didnt consider, and what do i get?

someone rbed to tell me "not to go on twitter" because people were talking about me, and informing me that there was a group chat dedicated to "talking about how wrong [i am]". what the rest of the post said, i dont remember, because the person seems to have me blocked and i fucking panicked after being told theres literally an entire group of people talking about me on twitter- of which, yknow. is known for harassing people and even once had a black girl doxxed?? not to mention that the person who mocked me for supposedly not having friends did so when i said to leave me alone, and ive said publicly for people to leave me alone consistently, and. well, insulting and going after someone, or even talking about them behind their back, when they said to leave them alone is in fact harassment, by definition.

im accused of not listening to philza, with the only clip being given to me of him talking about c!emeraldduo being like "the platonic version of achilles and patroclus", as if platonic = queerplatonic. yesterday was the first time i was given a clip of phil talking about qprs specifically, given to me by someone who didnt evem disagree with me anyways, again showing the people disagreeing with me were barely actually willing to cooperate with me. i have. complicated feelings on the clip (mainly with how its worded as just headcanons and only given the definition of "platonic life partners" which.. hm.), but this post isnt about that.

regardless, i vent to my friends, because i was having a delusional breakdown, and one makes a post saying they didnt want to interact with the fandom after people went after me. they inform me that both people who insulted me before and others reblogged from their post to again assert that im arophobic, claim that no one was talking about me outside of people publicly talking about how "arophobic" i am (which.. is people talking about me), claim that i called people racist and sexist (i didnt?? i dont think anyones racist and sexist, not even for what i brought up concerning the fandoms treatment of kristin, it gives me a bad taste in my mouth, but i would never call anyone racist or sexist for it [outside of the whitewashing but thats a different issue from the qpr discussion]), and then they were sent anon hate, one even asserting that they were arophobic and talking over minority groups and therefore deserved to be in their bad home situation. outside of their post being in the dream smp tag, its hard to believe that people just. normally found their post. unless they were going through the recent posts in the dream smp tag (which i dont feel is the case), it is.. concerning that they found my friend trying to defend me so quickly and immediately decided to continue to talk about me behind my back and even insult them as well.

so.. yknow, not great in asserting that there arent people tracking me somehow, which is incredibly triggering and paranoia inducing.

either way, in the end, if people disagree with me about the situation, i dont care, i cant stop them, but i just want people to stop being fucking pricks about it. i want people to stop being pissy at me and about me, i want people to stop insulting me and telling me and telling people i interact with that im arophobic when im not. i want people to stop pretending to care when they tell me to take a break when theyre the fucking reasons i have to take a break. i want people to stop being condescending to me, to stop talking about me, to stop acting like theyre superior while fucking insulting me.

i just wanted to bring up an issue about the lack of respect kristin gets, and people as always turned it into something about philza and technoblades relationship when that was literally the behavior that i was complaining about. i hate that me wanting to talk about how kristin and her marriage to phil is treated turned into me having several breakdowns in one day because i kept getting worse and worse news about how people were treating me. i hate that i did take breaks, that i actively distracted myself, went outside, took care of my pets, took care of myself, talked to my friends, and yet people just acted condescending and went all "if you cant handle criticism then leave :/".

what the fuck is wrong with you people? why is it that this fandom actively defaults to harassment and using ccs against fans when an issue arises? and i fucking hate that this is my first goddamn actual interaction with aeduo fans. im genuinely terrified of aeduo fans now if this is how they react to problems. fuck everyone who talked about me behind my back, fuck everyone who acted condescending towards me, fuck everyone who called me arophobic or anti-polyam or whatever the hell they had up their sleeves, fuck every single grown ass adult who saw a teenager have a fucking breakdown over the shit they did and said and decided to continue. fuck everyone who didnt even bother to have a goddamn level conversation with me before insulting me and attempting to tell others that im arophobic and other shit like that.

this shit happened because of two paragraphs. i said two goddamn paragraphs about a personal issue with the fandom i had and now ive genuinely been pushed almost to the point of relapsing. i dont give a shit if people think i have a victim complex, i just want people to leave. me. alone. its the fucking least you could do. oh, and go fuck yourself. if you genuinely thought id be apologizing after that shit, fuck you. i shouldnt have to be the better person with this shit, i shouldnt be pushed to choking on my own fucking tears because people wont let it fucking be. im not goddamn apologizing after three days of getting insulted and harassed and talked about behind my back for a fucking shipping issue. piss off.

[filo-academia]

ooo for the character ask you rbed awhile ago, could i ask for sigma or yosano? thank u :)

hiiii! thanks for the ask. your choice of characters is really nice! i'll try my best to lay out my opinions here, but i don't think i'll be able to give you some for yosana bcs i am not that confident with my opinions on her ;;; anyways, i'll go with sigma first~

 • Why I like them 

Sigma is simply not unlikable. It’s just the vibes he gives when he is in his own habitat (e.g. the casinio), he really was so confident there and I just… I’m weak for that kind of vibe. And also, his duality, like despite looking confident, he’s an anxious and desperate little thing. But most importantly, his sense of morality. I don’t know, he crosses the boundaries of the popular argument of nurture vs nature. Even when he was dumped into the world without any family or ties or purpose, it looks like he intuitively knows that his purpose is not bound for killing (remember: he didn’t ever want to stab Taneda-sensei. He was only driven by DoA’s mission.) There might be underlying reasons why, and honestly, I’m still looming over it through headcanons and theories (but for now I am focusing on Nikolai and Fyodor, so Sigma baby have to wait). Sigma just wants something that would define him, or make him feel like he belong. Hence, why he was so desperate to protect the casino because his identity is tied to it. If he loses it, what would he be? Of course, Fyodor nails it on the part that he knows what Sigma wanted – a home and a purpose. Also, he’s really kind to his customers to a point that he gives them a second chance in every game by sabotaging the game himself, lol. (And memorizing his clients’ numbers and needs.) That’s some high level of service right there. So yeah, he’s just overall precious. 

 • Why I don’t 

Who doesn’t like Sigma, let’s talk. Okay, honestly, I don’t think he is ever culpable for not being able to get out of Decay of Angels. The strong reason would be because it’s the only place that provided him home, security, safety, and identity. He’s deeply tied to the organization because of that. And yes, because he experiences what it feels like to be a stray, and to stay in prisons, and he doesn’t ever want to go back there. So yes, I don’t have any reasons why I don’t like him. For me, there’s simply not any. 

 • Favorite episode (scene if movie) 

Since we still don’t have Season 4 yet, so I’m going substitute manga panel/s for it. Though idk why I can't insert photos when answering this ask. Is there a new Tumblr update for the features? I think there was, but anyways, I'll just going to verbalize it. Most of my favorite manga panels of him are those where he's the most vulnerable, like that time he gave up in front of Atsushi and that one where he slipped off Atsushi's grip. It makes me want to hug him ;;; 

 • Favorite season/movie 

I’ll just substitute this is favorite arc in the manga. Of course, the current Decay of Angels arc where he appears the most. 

 • Favorite Line 

Sigma has said some lines that really resonates so much, but I will just cite one that sticks out to me. 

 “Hey, somebody tell me, can’t an ordinary man be forgiven for wanting to protect what’s important to him?” 

 • Favorite outfit 

The one he’s wearing, of course! Sigma’s character design is really interesting. The fact that he’s wearing heels and earrings is so groundbreaking. And also, Harukawa-san snapped when they made him have a galactic design in the interior of his coat. And his turtleneck! I really love the fact that he wears a turtleneck underneath, because strip him off other layers and leave him in that turtleneck and slacks, imagine the power he would have. I think it won’t be a stretch to say that Sigma is one of the characters in BSD with Best Character Design. 

 • OTP 

I know GogSig is a known rarepair with Sigma involved, and yes, I have written it at some point – mind you, it’s the fic with my highest word count – but I’m not totally knee-deep in the ship. But I have encountered a rarepair fic before of Chuuya x Sigma, and when it flashed in my mind the potentials of that ship, I do think it’s nice! Kinda has the same vibes with ChuuAtsu, hence why I’m here for it. 

 • Brotp 

I wanted to put Sigma x Atsu in OTP, but I realize I see them more as siblings/best of friends. I don’t know if that counts as Brotp. 

 • Headcanon 

Not much, but I hc Sigma as asexual and nonbinary. And also, I don’t think he’s scared of insects.

• Unpopular opinion 

People sometimes call him Fyodor's OC but I don't really think that's the case. Maybe, my point here is un-improved and I must have totally missed other information in the manga (so correct me if I did) but I do think that Sigma isn’t made by Fyodor. He woke up in a dessert, right? Three years ago (as of documented so there's a possibility of something before three years ago.) But the Decay of Angels only obtained a page in consequent to the happenings of Sunday Tragedy, and the events all rolled over quickly from the moment ADA was framed. (And the casino was made 8 days prior to Skyfall.) Besides, Fyodor fetched him up from a prison which might indicate that Fyodor must have only heard of him, and that there might be someone else who made him. But is it actually canon that Fyodor admitted to making him or I totally have forgotten that part? My memory is so wack sometimes, I’m sorry. And also if people only dubbed him as Fyodor's OC as a joke, forgive me for not understanding ;;; 

• A wish 

I wish Sigma will be with ADA at the end. He just suits to be there, and since BSD has this way to perpetuating patterns like Oda adopted orphans and influenced Dazai by taking in and helping Atsushi, so it is my own wish that such would also influence Atsushi to take in Sigma. Though he already basically had done it by initiating to recruit Kyouka into ADA, but can Sigma be the other one? Please. 

• An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen 

That Sigma would die when he would touch Fyodor to extract information from him. I think it’s pretty much hinted that Fyodor can control his deadly ability but, like, if he knows that Sigma is getting used by Nikolai just to know about his ability, it’s scary for me to think that he would kill Sigma upon the moment of contact. Well, it’s only a theory, so I desperately hope there are other ways to know about Fyodor’s ability without having to possibly kill Sigma in the process. He deserves a character arc with a happy ending! 

 • 5 words to best describe them 

 Precious, soft, desperate, must protect 

• My nickname for them 

I like calling him “Sigma baby~” in a way to indicate that he’s a baby. 

 As for Yosano, like what I said, I am not so confident with my opinions of her ;;; except that I DO LIKE HER and I ship her with Kouyou. 

 Anyways, that's all~ ah, i hope my answer isn't too bland or too explosive either. ;;; i hope it reached your standards ;;; but really, thank youuu! it was fun to talk about sigma. i always have time to talk about sigma huhuhuhu