#anyway i've got *~•BRAIN PROBLEMS•~* :)))))) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

excali8ur · 4 months

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Weird dream.

#art #tmnt #tmnt original iteration #tmnt au #tmnt au leo #leo #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmta #artists on tumblr #Hi I came up with an AU idea like. Last November #*Oops October actually #And I'm only just posting about it on main. I'm so good at this #Tbf I'm quite happy to just work on it slowly I've got a lot of plot points to iron out anyway #Also I'm primarily doing this for myself #So sorry if the stuff I post doesn't have much substance to it. This mostly only exists inside my brain #Only thing I will share is that I've been referring to the setting as Teenage Mutant Transgender Allegories in my head lmao #They're not explicitly trans. But they may as well be because I am projecting Hard onto this #The turtles are also. Kind of dicks to begin with. Less so Donnie but he has other problems to deal with #The whole thing is about growth and learning to change. So yea #And obviously family too. This is TMNT after all.#ANYWAY. I WILL STOP RAMBLING IN THE TAGS NOW.#Gonna go through my drafts and post the other stuff I made before this one so it's at least in the right order even if I am posting it late

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bizarrelittlemew · 11 months

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calling it right now that season 3 starts like this

#so confused about people saying the season finale feels like the end because to me it didn't at all #there's like 5-10 issues immediately set up for another season #they're in a happy place at this point because they've both realized their love is bigger than anything else #and makes it worth working on their problems together #the problems are still very much there #both of them have deep self esteem/self loathing issues that haven't been resolved in the week since ed woke up #ed doesn't know about stede's trauma #they haven't talked through anything #and they'll be shit at starting/running an inn lmao it's not gonna go well #and those are just some of the internal issues #then there's prince ricky and all the authorities that would very much like to get their hands on both blackbeard and stede bonnet #because stede just full-on kept using his government name after faking his death. nice one #the crew are not “gone” they're more like off to college for a bit but will probably run into trouble immediately #again because while they escaped to the ship they didn't eliminate the threat (the british empire)#it's not a forever goodbye #ok this got super long already anyway i have a whole fic marinading in my brain until i've finished these 4 wips i'm in the middle of ✌️#hope we get a renewal soon because i want to see the rest of their story!!#ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd s2 #ofmd #our flag means death

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triglycercule · 1 month

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horror being very specific with table manners and he berates people (dust and killer) for eating like fucking pigs

i think it'd be morbidly funny that because there was no food in horrortale but the cutlery and stuff was all there that maybe he would pretend to eat with no food on the plate. it was in a satirical way that he would joke maybe around horror paps or alone where he would pretend to eat and have really good table manners but then the satire joke became REAL and now horror is incredibly specific about how to eat food

you MUST hold the fork in the left and knife in right says horror. no killer you can't duel wield the fucking knives this is a table not a slaughterhouse. dust pick up your elbows off the table. actually how about you get your entire upper body off the table tf why are you SLEEPING ON THE FOOD??? killer's sitting fetal position in the chair because of course he wouldn't sit normally like the idiot he is. dust is forced to put his hood down and reveal his face no more mysterious shadow style because it puts horror at ease. they cannot have a single peaceful meal because once they get past the table manners phase it then becomes a completion to see who can eat the least (because they suck at everything including eating)

#hey guys. every time i don't post it feels like i'm abandoning my own children #NOOO im sorry i'll come back home... i wont abandon you chat PLEASE DONT MAKE ME PAY MORE CHILD SUPPORT #i've been a busy little bee i snicker out. and by busy i mean playing. and by playing i mean hi3 #i'm sorry my brain literally cannot handle having more than one interest. once i get into something else the other thing becomes ignored #IT MAKE ME SO UPSET BECAUSE WHY CAN'T I DO BOTH OF THESE THINGS I LIKE EQUALLY ☹️☹️☹️☹️ is this a me problem #anyways none of these tags were related to the post. i usually do little extra tidbits adding onto the post when i tag huh #i just recently learned (2 years ago) that youre supposed to put the fork and knife in that order. i still mess it up #i've been drawing on this notebook from the same brand from what i drew on in 2019 AND GODDAMN 🤤🤤🤤#this notebook is SO FUCKING SMOOTH I LOVE IT 🤤🤤 drawing on this paper is like drawing on fucking BUTTER it's delectable #a shame nobody likes traditional art i cry out (i'm not particularly skilled in either traditional or digital)#you could call me a jack of no trades master of none #got this idea bcs i was listening to binomi (HARDCORE MARETU FAN SINCE I GOT A PHONE. WHAT YALL KNOW ABOUT MARETU‼️‼️‼️)#and i was like omg food theme.... horror. so i drew it in earlier mentioned notebook #and i was like hmm what positions should i put the fork and knife. and then i got this idea #i KNOW cannibalism songs aren't exactly horror themed. but let me be delusional i wanna give my boy a cool theme and cannibalism is soo coo #killer sans #dust sans #horror sans #murder time trio #tricule hc #bad sanses #bad sans gang #nightmare's gang #this is funny but in a sad way because i added context to it. as is with all my mtt content #it's comedic because i think they're all stupid fucking idiots but i also make them do this dumb shit bc theyre traumatized

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neonhellscape · 19 days

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youre disturbing them

#warhammer rogue trader #pasqal haneumann #pasqal rogue trader #marazhai aezyrraesh #marazhai rogue trader #ive been getting deranged over pasqal in game you lot had better brace yourselves #i've just met abel and surely this wont mean anything for my brain.#good luck to everyone when i eventually catch up with marazhai its gunna go super good #i understand pasqals brain and i like it. i didnt realise id actually got so much of his character right because #i was honest to god just pitching in some of my own brain problems/logic loops so. finding out hes actually like that #anyway i just fancied sitting these two together #not pictured: pasqal yanking at his skirts to set them right because marazhai is sitting on them and dragging them uncomfortably Stop It #i WILL give marazhai fucked up proportions fucked up joints a big nose and huge ears. it is my right and you will listen to me #propaganda time marazhai should have huge fucking pointy ears that tilt with his emotions not human ears with pointy tips. you understand

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keeps-ache · 5 months

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wink blink look !!

#art #my art #artists on tumblr #digital art #sona #ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhgghhhh #am i RIGHT guys hfhvs #:33 #//not many thoughts recently #not many thoughts for a while actually lol #must've talked myself weary! huh!#/let me try at this though - i feel like i have some little part of my brain that's all stopped up #it's been like that for a minute !#/ah but a question - do you ever stand by a bit of forest and hear what are distinctly Whispers ?#i know it's definitely the wind but it's fun to think it's anything else lol :>>#ghosts or fairies or the road down the hill for whatever reason #/oh and speaking of hearing i got a weird + shrill + loud tone in my ear the other day and it just didn't happen again #a sudden EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and then it stopped lmao #funky stuff man. wonder what's up with that hfhs #//anyway i'm working on my artfight references rn lol :)#i've finished one! what a miracle!! hfsh-#it looks a lot better than the one last year like Wow. don't think the same person made these you know what i mean hfh #//ah i've also started using padlet for realsies this time :>#it's a neat spot - it's gonna be great to just have the palettes i need on another device loll #that's the biggest problem i have on this planet! having to scroll my blog for palettes is not the most fun thing hfsh #/anyway gonna get back to it!!#i'm sort of tired but i Really wanna make kira and hid's this yearrr #they are very ~+~+~ <3 ~+~+~ to me lol :>>#so toodles ! here i go again hfhsv

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peribirb · 6 months

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you ever catch feelings for somebody but you've spent your entire life convinced/convincing yourself that you're fundamentally unattractive and broken in a way that makes you unlovable and unsuited to any sort of relationship, and so instead of just enjoying that extra dopamine burst of seeing them around you just make yourself feel miserable for even daring to feel that way in the first place? or is that just me?

#hhhh i hope this doesn't come across as some sort of “ohhhhh you have to come fix me and save me” bullshit cus that's not it. it's just #i'm sick of my brain acting like this and i wish i could process my emotions in a healthier way #one that doesn't feel like i'm just using them to mentally selfharm you know #or at the very least in a way where i don't immediately think i'm being some sort of creep for daring to find somebody attractive #i just. don't have the self-esteem for it and my brain immediately sabotages even just idle fantasy scenarios #some sort of long-term relationship? god i'm so distant and easily distracted i'd just hurt them by inadvertently ignoring them #something short-term and low-key? well i'll still forget to check in or i'll fuck up some other way and feelings will get hurt #just fuckin? god i hate my body so much i. cannot convince myself that i'm desirable in any way #even if i literally know people who would tell me otherwise and mean it. it's just so deep-seated i think #i think i just have a lot of problems to work on. and i don't really know how to go through that process yet #anyway. this isn't like helpful processing of emotions or anything it's just venting lol #this doesn't even cover the “am i aroace or not” confusion spiral that i've got going on...#it was a therapy day so my brain is already primed to Dig In Deep to everything that hurts #:thumbsup:#vent #delete later

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wildwood-faun · 5 months

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been sooo stimmy lately unfortunately not in the happy fun way more like gotta shake bad things out of my body

#got anxiety spikes i want to say out of NOWHERE but #i've been doing things that push me out of my comfort zone lately #but if i don't i get anxious about not DOING stuff #my impulse is to just white knuckle it through until som of the uncomfortable things become familiar but ugh #also i think my anxiety/stress has been on the rise for more than a year because i've been having a lot more Stuck Thoughts #so that's longer than this recent Do New Things drive #but like. i don't live a stressful life i just get incredibly stressed out by things like: couldn't find the detergent i wanted at the store #or: have a problem with my clothes hanger #please brain please #anyway i'm feeling pretty solid abt the autism probability at least #applied faunology

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welcometogrouchland · 10 months

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they shouldn't let me stay up past midnight bc then I start identifying every single problem I've ever had. No solutions found. Net zero personal progress and 0.5 hours of sleep are achieved

#ramblings of a lunatic #ignore me I'm having a moment #actually wait that's one of the problems we (the brain council) identified. is my need to not have problems where ppl can see #oh very problematic of my brain. not a fan #look i just got out on christmas break for college the term is catching up to me #i didn't make any real friends and it's not that I'm surprised..but yeah I'm surprised. i forgot about My Whole Deal somehow #like girl do the math. 7 yrs to make A FRIEND. SINGULAR. came pre packaged w/ 2 friends but took you 4 more years to make another one-#-independtly. straight up did not understand friendship and human relationships until you were at least 16 #did we honestly think we were gonna knock it out of the park in terms of socialising this first term???? did we????#wishful thinking ig #oughh. college...bad. or not bad but. strange. and lonely. and yeah kinda bad #existentially horrifying in ways i didn't even realise were possible. i get why so many tma fans were college students/grads now #college just irl cosmic horror #anyway. i think i should try and sleep now lest the brain demons get the better of me #but also I've gotten like. 4 hours of sleep total over the last 6 days- not for lack of trying mind you #so like. I'm anticipating a struggle.

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fingertipsmp3 · 3 months

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Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself

#nearly bought a digital typewriter today. actually i DID buy a digital typewriter today. officially yes i have bought a digital typewriter.#the money for the digital typewriter has left my account but i have emailed them to cancel the order because i can't in good faith buy #a digital typewriter when i don't fucking WRITE #i thought it might help me get back into it. distraction free and while allowing me to not judge my own writing #and be continuously editing while i write and going 'i'm crap i'm crap i'm crap no one will ever read this and if they do they will think #that i'm garbage and that i should feel bad etc etc etc'#but it's too expensive and i have the feeling i wouldn't even like or use the thing once i got it #because the IDEAS! the ideas aren't coming to me. or rather they are but none of them seem to stick #i feel underconfident in writing any of them #and then i have old projects that i've always wanted to get back to like the tennis romance thing but SO much has changed since i first #started drafting it. like i don't even know if i like the main couple anymore. i kind of want to put both of them with different OCs of min #but it'd switch up the WHOLE story if i had a different cast #in fact most of the problem lies in the fact that i have this long-running bedtime story i tell myself every night with lore #and a massive cast of characters that i switch out depending on who i'm most interested in right now and every so often i incorporate new #themes and ideas and motifs and plot points sometimes based on media i've been watching because it's MY bedtime story and it doesn't matter #if i plagiarise in my own brain. but then obviously i can't plagiarise in real life #and none of my bedtime stories are GOING anywhere. sometimes i only get through a scene or two before i fall asleep #all of which means my bedtime story is not so much a sweeping epic novel but a sitcom with way too many characters #most of which are werewolves to be honest and sometimes for my own wish fulfilment one of them will walk out of my head #and take care of my problems for me by lending me £1million or murdering my best friend's ex. in my mind obviously #so it's like. it's a case of getting in there and annexing off the stuff i think i can use #it's like yeah i've definitely written several romance novels in my head in the process of this but does it matter if they're IN my HEAD #to be honest i feel like my main strength is in creating characters. like i have this one family of werewolves i've been slowly but surely #adding members to since i was like 16. maybe younger? no yeah i think i made the first one when i was 12 #they're compelling to ME anyway. i care about them. it's just PLOTS. i can't plot #if a book could just be a lot of dialogue and sex scenes and silly moments and character studies i'd be alright #i also can't describe settings. don't ask me to because i can't #and now i'm just annoyed with myself because i sat down at my laptop to try to write and instead i'm here complaining about how i don't wri #and if i had the digital typewriter... i mean i'd probably still be doing this i'd just no longer have £300 #i don't have the £300 anyway. i hope to christ they refund my card i'm a fucking idiot

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lickoutyourbrains · 9 months

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Woe upon this day.

I have discovered that "Janus" had been blocked as a pokemon name.

Condolences to the shiny Hydrapple I was going to name after him.

#what's fun is that this is clearly a very recent chance because near the start of the year I named a Serviper Janus no problems #and in swsh I've got a Mawile named Janus too #brains is just talking to themself #anyways I named the Hydrapple ''Deceit''

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sealovinq · 5 months

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i need friends /gen (slight rant in tags)

#xelle.txt #i noticed i don't really have a permanent circle of friends. at least irl #i have one online but they're also busy and i just can't dedicate my time to one friend group #i don't know - it's just the people i thought who were nice turned out to be the exact opposite #and when i found out about that i just kinda. lost interest in making any more friends #my partner is the only person i interact with on a daily basis. the irl friend group i was referring to earlier i'm not exactly close with-#-them either #i feel like if i didn't only give my time in nurturing my romantic relationship i would have done the same for my platonics too #that's still a problem of mine. my time management between love life and friends. heck i even got myself into an unsolvable problem because-#-of my inability to stay consistent #also my brain is kinda fried from reading 20+ pages so pardon any grammatical errors but yeah anyway #honestly i've been craving for interaction here. but i know i won't be active and it'd just be pointless #to gain more friends or followers. i don't exactly make content as consistently as i did before #the other day i had to vent to an ai (would you believe me if it was cha.tgpt) about my troubles because i had no one else to talk to lol #there's just so much going on irl 😭 ya girl's almost starting college and they're throwing so much tasks at us!!#and i feel very very stressed about it because they're usually done in groups i am ALWAYS the assigned leader #which gets exhausting especially when there are lazy members present #anyway #hopefully this weekend i get some time to cool off. but next week i'm back to grinding and working #lol i don't even think i'm in the top ranks anymore. i'm so burnt out.#this is what being an academic achiever gives you oops ZZHSIAHAHAJAHHS #imma sleep now 😭#idk you can just interact with me or recommend someone you know who self ships in the same medias i do #goodnight everypony 🫶#vent tw #rant tw

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paradoxiii · 1 year

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Me: I like using the BG3 character creator as like a d&d version of the sims

Brain: download the sims

Anyway, the last time I played the sims was before I even made Cadmus as a character so GUESS WHO I MADE

Miss Bisexual Actress Witch & Mister Genderqueer Con Artist Magician

#tmi #anucad #i have soooooo many cc mods #like. apparently i had over 400 the last time i played on my shitty laptop #i started going through & sorting them & redownloading in case they've updated #& of course while figuring out where tf i even got many of these i ended up downloading more #& eventually i said “fuck it just stick the unsorted mods in their own folder inside the mod folder”#anyway. i barely even play with the sims i make. i just love character creation #like. according to steam i've got 22.4h playtime on bg3. ~8 or 9 of that was when i tried on my laptop & it was super slow & kept freezing-#-& crashing. roughly 3 hours is actual non-character creation playtime. the rest is me fucking around in the character creator #i have no idea how much time i've sunk into gaia online's avatar builder but it's probably well over 100 hours #Love Nikki probably over 1000 #i need y'all to understand. i love character creation. when i'm drawing a new oc my brain is flipping through what design things to give-#-them like a goddamn dressup game. part of me wants to try doing character design professionally but the problem is...#...if you look at all my OCs they're mostly basically anime girls. i'm bad at making myself diversify my characters beyond occasionally-#-giving them black/brown skin. i need to make more fat characters. and more darker skinned characters. & more other things.

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beesinspades · 11 months

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livestream of me and the neurologist after he told me the MRI came out normal and the only possible diagnosis left for my weird ongoing symptoms is......anxiety:

#🧍#i mean im glad im apparently fine but ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEE #anyway anyway still got the urologist to see for my other problem #but at this rate i wont be surprised if im told it's somefuckinghow anxiety too #im. gonna ask my dad if he can help me pay for therapy because i've had enough!!!#THIS IS SUCH A JOOOKE #i wasnt even stressed when the symptoms started!!!!! i was having a decent year despite my stomach issues!!!#but the symptoms sure triggered my anxiety and made my life hell!!!!#BRAIN YOU HAVE ONE JOB #anyway i could get meds for this but he said it'd be better to deal with it more 'organically'#hence therapy #but if it doesnt go away and i mind that i can always go back to him and then we'll look into meds #my longest sigh ever #bee rants #what i hate about this is that my dad is gonna be like lol i knew it and then he's gonna take me even less seriously when i get stressed #over symptoms

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lisbonsteresa · 2 years

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eating glass licking rust etc etc

#strawberries and cream pt 1 one of the most episodes that's for sure #multiple things about the vest scene; everything about the vest scene; don't get me started on the vest scene #(the way she's got a literal bomb strapped to her and he's still putting his hand on her back ----)#solved their problem by arguing and also being stubborn and willing to sacrifice themselves for each other #and him literally stuttering and dumbfounded in the dress scene and their hightower secret and THIS #(oh god the dress scene though 'i told her you always secretly wanted to be a bridesmaid' and yeah true great that you know that #but part of him also wanted to see her in a fancy little outfit; i've watched violets i know his game)#(WAIT 'it's job to keep you alive' -- 'if red john wants me he knows where to find me' wow what the fuck #the broken record in my brain: can't you see there's people who care about you? who need you??#you're being selfish and childish and i want you to STOP you unimaginable clown)#i'm being so serious when i say that this has to have been when they decided to actually explore doing something with them #because if not what IS this? the first half of your finale is basically the jane/lisbon show idk what you want me to say #(not to mention the libson-van pelt and the lisbon-cho and the lisbon-cho-jane moments i love this episode actually)#anyway: doing well!#tm #HEY WAIT the scene in pt 2 and then in like.....4.02? where the team comes together for jane and then for lisbon they're SO

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regular-lord-reckoner · 2 years

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well, after a lot of crying and procrastinating and getting my anxiety ramped all the way up i finally emailed a potential therapist so that’s at least one thing i can check off my list :’)

#i dunno why that felt so goddamn hard to do but boy oh boy did it!!!#had to pull up templates of 'how to send an email to a therapist' as well as the email i sent to another one awhile back #and even then i still went through about a million drafts all to just basically be like #'hey i'm looking to start therapy can i schedule an appointment or consultation with you?'#like why was that so hard????#but at least it's done #feel like i haven't gotten much else done that i've meant to but that was a big one so i'm going to try to de-stress #even though i've still got several hours of work left but i'm going to try to take it easy #anything i can't get done today is just going to have to wait until next week #and then after next week it's not my fucking problem because i will be on pto #so...suck on that #:P #anyway my brain has completely stopped working now so bye!!

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britneyshakespeare · 11 months

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im just gonna tmi-medication share in the tags real quick

#tales from diana #i want to preface this with i've been prescribed adderall as-needed for adhd for a fullllll decade now #don't come at me with anti-adderall or anti-adhd-medication bullshit im not here for it!!#but my health problems have been so bad and ive been getting the worst sleep of my life lately no matter WHAT i do #i can do everything right #and btw i do not take adderall every day. which is implied by as-needed but i want to stress again I DONT NEED IT EVERY DAY #only when i do like. work. which ive been doing less and less bc of health problems!#but even though i havent been able to physically work so much i still have been taking half-doses a couple times a week just to like. read.#just to have a brain to do ANYTHING when everything is so awful and my brain is so foggy #ive always *sometimes* cut my doses in half if im not doing so much. just to save it y'know.#and ive always also *occasionally* gotten worse or even a really bad night's sleep after taking adderall #most commonly i'll wake up absurdly early the next morning and not be able to fall back asleep #rationing sleep is always something ive been in the habit of doing anyway as a person w adhd.#sleeping 4-6 hours during the week and 10-12 hours on weekends. just to make up for the deprivation y'know.#but even lately cutting my regular dose in half. it's still too much.#my current dose btw is already half of what it was in high school! i decreased my dose already years ago #but yesterday i finally got the nerve to take. a damn quarter of my own pill #and i took the smaller quarter of the half i cut in half.#i was def taking less than 5mg of my damn medication #and i actually didnt sleep like complete shit! and i was also worried #it might not be so effective.#but it actually worked quite well. i had enough focus to read for several hours #i had energy throughout the day too #i sometimes try to do caffeine on days i cant/dont wanna take adderall but caffeine just does not do the addy things so effectively. iykyk.#i cant believe i have to be so skimpy w my own life-sustaining mental health medications just bc my physical health is so bad #but whatever. whatever!#im gonna take another quarter-dose today and finish pericles prince of tyre. have a great day everyone

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