#anyway idk how this reads but i promise i'm not up in arms abt it

[lemonhemlock]

I don't see why we as green fans can't complain or say anything at all about Aemond's characterization and the overuse of certain tropes in fics when black fans do it all the time also?? Be it Aemond/OC, Aemond/Rhaena, Aegon fics paired with OCs or team black characters like Baela, Daemon/Alicent or even pure time travelling crackships like Aemond/Sansa or Sansa paired with any team green guy (yes some of them have complained about this as well because allegedly if Sansa were to time travel back in the Dance era she would only fall in love with Jace! Fine! But guess what no team black stan who has complained about this aspect has written or comissioned a fic with her and their guy, they just complain that the already existing ones aren't about what they want) and they will always find time to lash out on their accounts about how the evil green authors are mischaracterizing the team black OCs or already existing characters. At least we are not leaving hate comments or criticism that nobody asked for (or I hope no one does this! Please don't!) on the fics we read and were disappointed by (and didn't even mention them as examples in these asks).

Anonymous asked: okay i’m game for some anti-lucemond inbox antagonism. while op did indeed make some good points regarding the formulaic nature of aemond x OC i still contend they do not know the difference between a minor character and a plot device. helaena is a minor character, the cargyll twins are minor characters, laenor is a minor character, heck with a bit of massaging and extrapolating harwin could be consider a minor character. Unlike strong boy #2 at least I can say what they were doing between their respective time jumps. helaena — having babies, enjoying her bugs cargylls — aegon watch + introspection which results on them being on different sides laenor — fighting in wars, hanging with his boyfriend, parenting (?) harwin — bangin’ rhaenyra, being a goldcloak, preparing to take on a lordship (just cause harrenhall is practically unliveable doesn’t mean they don’t have peasants in the vicinity to tax I suppose idk) These are characters. They have jobs and hobbies, actual relationships. lucerys in contrast, what has he being doing for the 6 years during the time skip. training? possibly, all we know about him is that he gets his ass handed to him in a fight and gets seasick. what are his hobbies? does he have any responsibilities? friends? anything? I will grant he seems to have a decent grasp of HV. during the incident Aemond in his anxiety starts giving his command in English whereas Luke maintains HV when commanding Arrax, for all the good that it did. maybe there is something there, but I don’t want to read into it too much it because it was likely more for the audience than a way to develop the characters because those are commands not sentences, like jace was working on. Speaking of Jace, even he has something going for him, minor though it was — he trains, attends meetings, is not doing so good in his LOTE classes, really doesn’t like his stepdad, still cannot take a joke. Jace has some serious emotional problems which could be worth exploring, but Lucerys? Nothing, nada, zilch. Who is this person It seems Lucerys only role was to gas up rhaenyra; just so we in the audience know she is in fact perfect, make this face ☹️ in the background of scenes, smirk one time like a asshole, and then die. he is not a character, and while I initially had no problem with him, beyond a mild distaste because he hurt aemond (I actually put more blame on Jace) the way TB started riding this non entity so hard for the last year just made me loathe lucerys. Lucemond can occasionally be fun. I like the fics which are just absurd AUs but anyone who actually takes it seriously. The folks who insist on ‘Fated Feud’ or whatever it’s called, are reaching so hard they might tear something, pretending there is any chemistry or motivation for this relationship. And don’t get me started on the ones who call Luke the pearl of driftmark, that makes me want vom. But people need to quit pretending Lucerys is something other than a plot device, first blood in the DoD, that is all. I hope him and this ship goes away soon. [anyway sorry you’ve got to be the repository for this nonsense. How do you like your aegond? The thing which should have been the main mlm ship for this ridiculous fandom.]

ironically this is probably exactly the type of content the previous anon wanted to avoid 😂 but you can't expect to go in someone's inbox looking for drama, stirring the hornets' nest so to speak, and not expect a reaction. surely everyone can deal with their inbox messages whichever way they want, on the spectrum of not bothering to react at all vs ranting about it. i don't subscribe to this idea that you should hold your mouth shut and refrain from any kind of critical diatribe bc the other side might see it and might be up in their feelings about it.

absolutely not referring to vitriolic hateposting or other forms of bullying, but the institution of the Rant is sacred and must be protected. you can be annoyed at some fandom stuff and simply want a space to air out those thoughts - ofc you're going to be posting in designated fandom platforms, bc it looks deranged to complain about this IRL. i feel that people need to accept that users should have their own barbie playground, but, equally, there should be some spaces (keeping a respectful distance ofc) where criticism or just random rants about that thing can happen, undoubtedly respecting the parameters of decency and not resorting to crazy insults

i agree (and this is a v important caveat) that it becomes bizarre when it's the same people doing it every day, bc then it turns into an unhealthy hyperfixation which you might want to interrogate, but once in a while it can be cathartic, like shooting the shit with your bffs. moderation is key to everything, we can all co-exist and get along without taking everything to heart

this isn't even about lucemond, honestly, it's more of a general fandom criticism, because this is not the first time i've encountered people who simply refuse to mute the tags, willingly read the anti posts, find themselves irked by something, then vent their frustrations on OP

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

as for luke being a plot device vs a minor character, i can't say i''m too bothered about that distinction to argue either way. minor characters can also be plot devices and he is effectively fridged for rhaenyra's and jace's) pain. i do think he has more going for him in the show, like they really tried to give him more screen time towards the end and focus a little on his supposedly conflicting feelings about inheriting driftmark & his bastardy

anyway the "how do you like your aegond" sent me 🤣 i'm really drawn to modern setting AUs for some reason! the constraints of modern society are like a breeding ground for angst

[defensivelee]

I have had the WEIRDEST dream... not that I'm complaining and you'll see why in a sec. I think for this dream i was my wasp-human-like OC named Andrena, if you don't know her story it's basically that she goes around different time periods and universes to change their history with her husband, but she usually doesn't stick around to see HOW she changed it. that's for other people to live through. when she goes to the 17th century, which is when presumably the dream was, she dresses up as a man. so that's how I was, which was... weirdly affirming.

anyway, the whole story is under the cut, in which I give William III a concussion (??). disclaimer I would not do any of this irl my mind was just acting up... but it was kinda fun ngl

there was some kind of situation going on with the king, I don't remember exactly what it was, but I remember the fucking way my heart JUMPED at hearing that there was a king. logically Andrena would have known that there was one and that was why she was here, but the me inside of her was like OH SHIT??? SHIT??? WELL WHO IS IT??

it was William! I still don't know exactly how I came to know that, I think I caught a glimpse of him walking by with a few others following him. I tell you seeing him in the flesh (obv in my head and all) hit some kinda way

much of that from there is kind of a weird blur, I think it was night, and I just walked around the place, might have been a palace, but it was weirdly dark and confining so it didn't feel like one. shadows were EVERYWHERE, and I noticed this weird one with wings that the moon's light fell through and antennae....that was me!!! it was such a thrill to find LMAO

then William walked past, this time alone, and what I remember most abt that was that he was yawning. and I was like YES and I follow him, asking him how was his day and all that, trying to make conversation, and the way my heart is just SNAPPING bc he seems rlly annoyed. maybe not with me, idk what it is, but yeah he was rlly brief with his answers, so I get annoyed too. I remember thinking, in this weird completely uncharacteristic way for me but I suppose characteristic for Andrena, that Kowloon (her husband) wouldn't have waited this long.

so I just kinda wiggle my tail (which I didn't even notice I had up until then!!) and then pounce at him, fucking pin his arms behind him and cover his mouth with my hand. that was the most vivid part, I distinctly remember the warm breaths from his nose hitting my hand, how uneven they were, how they quickened when he realized what was happening. another thing I noticed was that he was noticeably smaller than me....I think irl I'm about his height but Andrena is actually pretty tall, so it was weird seeing the height difference!! I remember thinking that this would be easy, then.

he struggled like a real BITCH in my arms, glaring back at me with just the most beautiful expression of defiance I've ever seen, and I just started laughing bc I was so happy. idk why. i pin him to the wall and I laugh even harder at the fierce way hes looking at me, and I start asking him "waar is zij, baby, waar is zij?" that means 'where is she.' I think I was referring to Mary, and tbh idk if she was dead at this time or if she just wasn't there. but yeah it made him even angrier, he thrashed around like crazy, and I was like, "awww" and laughing bc idk. it was funny to me or maybe to Andrena idk irl I would not have the balls to do this I promise. and I kept saying "het is goed" (which may or may not be influenced by smth I read once, HMM.) to him while I flicked the stinger in my tail out and OUGHHH. the fear in his eyes when he saw it. it was beautiful. I could feel his mouth trying to open under my hand but I just dug my claws in (Andrena has claws yes next question) and warned him to shut up.

so I sting him in his thigh, and he makes this sweet little grunt bc hi it probably hurts and his body jolts for a second there. but this BITCH keeps on fighting, trying to kick out at me, so I sting him a few more times, and he kinda starts slowing down, his eyes get ADORABLY blinky and sleepy, and I was like "awwhaha see you're prettier when you're quiet" and he STILL attempts to glare at me. I sting him one last time and then start slamming his head against the wall repeatedly, and fuck man it sounded like it HURT. like I remember being slightly alarmed but having no intention of stopping, not until he stopped moving. he gave me this fun little ditzy look, like he was confused or exhausted or rlly in pain I'm not sure, and I kinda bring him closer to me so he falls limp against me and I say "there's just a king across the water that really wants you dead, do you know him? yesss I think you know him"

which like. holy shit it fits perfectly well with Andrena's story bc she's canonically a Jacobite. so good on my brain for being consistent!

then I lifted him up in my arms, he was REALLY fucking light, and I was like. I need to go show my husband

AND THEN I WOKE UP!! which was so disappointing bc I was rlly looking forward to manhandling him while he was conked out :(( but well I can't complain... I got my whumpy dream with him and it got pretty far

[mull3ts]

Quarantine Boyz, Part 2

Pairing | NCT's 00 line x Reader

⚠ Warnings! | Smut, Orgy (5some), Swearing, Voyeurism, Yangyang now included!, Double penetration, squirting, Dirty talk, spanking, Degration, Anal, *unprotected sex (wrap it up kids!), this goes from 100 to 0 real quick, There's no smut on Yangyang coz idk how to feel abt that 😔

· Part 1

Week 2: Day 8/14, 9:42 pm

"Wider" Jaemin demanded, "Spread you legs wider princess-"

"Look who's having all of the fun over there" Donghyuck teased from the doorframe along with Renjun. "It wouldn't be very nice to not share, would it Y/N?" Renjun questioned. You shook your head, "If you two wanna join then do something" Jeno said before shoving his fingers back into your mouth along with Jaemin finally entering inside of you.

"Fine" The two boys said stripping themselves from their clothes and joining the rest of you on the bed. Jaemin slowly entered you to help you adjust to him, as Jeno removed his fingers from your mouth now also entering your stuffed hole.

"A-ah, wait Jeno are you gonna-" You asked scared you actually might split in two, Jeno gently caressed your cheek. "Don't worry babe, I'll try to be gentle. No promises though" He said as he was trusting himself inside of you.

"Wow, look at what a dirty girl you are. Taking two cocks in that small pussy of yours" Donghyuck whispered in your ear. "Maybe we should tie your hands together, how does that sound?" Renjun taunted as he watched your face react to Jeno and Jaemin ruining you.

Spank

"Answer him, princess. You want your hands tied together?" Jaemin groaned.

You nodded, "P-please, do it.". "Good girl" Renjun cooed as Donghyuck went through Jaemin's closet to find a necktie. "Here" Donghyuck said as he threw the necktie to Renjun to tie around your wrists. They all chuckled a bit looking at your now tied hands.

"Look at how pretty your hands are now babygirl, all tied up so you can't do anything" Donghyuck teased. "You can't do a single thing to us while we wreck your little pussy" Renjun chuckled.

"I think I'm gonna c-cum" You said weakly. Jeno cocked his head to the side and gave you a lazy smile, "Cumming so soon?". "Aw, that's cute princess. Are our cocks really that good?" Jaemin cooed from behind you. Renjun leaned closer to your ear. "Why don't you beg to cum, hm?".

Jeno chuckled at Renjun's suggestion, "C'mon babe, tell us how much you wanna cum". "I-i wanna cum, please. Ah, please let me cum I'll be g-good I-i promise!".

"Promise, huh?" Donghyuck teased. "Y-yes, please just let me cum!" You moaned making Jeno smile at your eagerness. "What do you think, Jaemin? Wanna let our little girl cum?". Jaemin nodded. "Do it princess. But when you cum, look at Jeno and don't you dare take your eyes off of his eyes."

Donghyuck leaned closer to your ear, "Go on babygirl, make a mess on their cocks, Don't hold back". When you reached your high it made you clench hard causing Jeno and Jaemin to cum not long after you. You squirted causing the 2 boys still deep inside of you to curse under their breath. First Jaemin, then Jeno pulled out admiring your pussy stuffed with their cum.

Jeno reached down to collect some on his fingers and pushed it back into your hole causing you to gasp a little at the sudden contact. Jaemin lazily chuckled at your reaction before looking at Renjun and Donghyuck who were staring at you.

"Did she just-"

"Squirt? Yeah"

"Hot" Donghyuck complimented

"Our turn" Renjun said proudly. First Donghyuck lined up with your entrance. But then Renjun was lining up with your asshole. "A-ah, Renjun! Be careful, p-please" You whimpered making Renjun chuckle a little. "I'll try my best, angel".

Donghyuck was thrusting himself inside of you making sure to go as deep as he could. "Fuck babygirl, h-how are you still so tight after 2 cocks rammed your pussy?" He asked. "That's cause she's our good little girl, right princess?" Jaemin whispered in your ear. "Y-yeah, a-ah! Renjun!". Your nails were creating little marks in your hands as you couldn't grip onto anything. "Calm down, angel, the pain'll go away" Renjun said softly trying to easy your pain. Donghyuck on the other hand, was now thrusting in you relentlessly. "You like that, babygirl? Hm? Tell me" Donghyuck taunted. "S-slow down! Please" You begged as Renjun now started to thrust in your ass adding to the pleasure that you couldn't handle. "You want me to speed up? Ok" Donghyuck teased. "God, you're so hot"

With Donghyuck and Renjun's dicks both inside of you at once, you couldn't help but cum quickly. "M'gonna c-cum! Please l-let me cum!" You moaned. "Not yet, babygirl, us first" Donghyuck said sternly. Eventually the 2 boys filled you with their cum resulting in you squirting again. "Look at you..." Jeno said looking at your cum filled pussy, "All fucked out from 4 cocks, what a little whore you are for us. What do you say after we fucked you so well, babe?" Jeno questioned cocking his head to the side.

"T-thank you" You mumbled "Thank you for what princess?" Jaemin said lifting your chin to make you look at him.

"Thank you all f-for fucking me so well"

Day 9/14, 11:33 am

You woke up, with excruciating pain.

"Hi there, hot stuff. Glad to see you awake"

Jeno.

"I am pain Lee Jeno"

"Wonder who's fault is that?"

"Yours"

"25% of it is, babe" He smirked then kissed your forehead. "Can you get up?" He questioned.

You shook your head ask he lazily laughed at you. "Aw, here, I'll carry you". He scooped you up in his arms and brought you to the kitchen where the rest of the boys were eating

"Hi there, cutie" Cooed Donghyuck while eating a sandwich earning a glare from you as Jeno sat you down then taking a seat for himself. "I see that you can't walk" Jaemin said smiling at you. "Sush, Na Jaemin" You mumbled as Donghyuck cleared his throat.

"So," Donghyuck began, "What happens now?". "I guess we could take turns?" Renjun suggested. "DIBS ON HER FIRST!" Yelled Donghyuck followed by Jaemin, Jeno, then Renjun. "So, Donghyuck first, then Jaemin, Jeno, and last is Renjun?" You questioned, they all nodded. "I'm gonna be adventurous and take you in the kitchen" Donghyuck whispered to you, "NU UH NOT IN MY GOSH DANG KITCHEN LEE DONGHYUCK. I rule this kitchen, therefore I can fuck in this kitchen, not you" Said Jaemin sternly causing laughter to erupt in the kitchen.

"So when do "the turns" begin?"

"Today"

"W-what?"

And so that's how it went from days 9/14 to 13/14

They all took turns as they said they would and you were fine with it

Then there was the last day where you supposedly "Could go outside"

But I know what you're thinking

"WHERE'S THE TURNS?"

Ladies and Gentlemen, that will be added, in time

I'm letting you recover ;D

Day 14/14, 11:11 am

"So we can't go out?"

Renjun shook his head, "Nope"

"Listen here, Smurfette, I need some weird special detergent for this Peppa Pig apron because the little tag said so. What am I gonna do?" Jaemin snapped. "Chill out Jaemin, it's only an apron" Donghyuck retorted. "What did you do to that apron anyway?" Renjun asked.

"I might've got cum on the apron" Jaemin mumbled.

"Huh?" Renjun and Donghyuck blurted in confusion.

"I got semen on the apron" Jaemin hissed. The two boys infront of him bursted out in laughter, "You got cum, on your Peppa Pig apron?" Donghyuck said in disbelief.

"Yeah" Jaemin mumbled while Renjun was laughing hysterically.

"You got what on your apron?" You exclaimed walking down the stairs with Jeno.

"I got cum on my fucking apron" Jaemin sighed, as now you and Jeno started laughing. But you stopped laughing, followed by Renjun, then Jeno. Donghyuck was the only one left laughing.

He cleared his throat, "Oh, we're not l-laughing anymore. Uh, w-why?" Donghyuck stammered out.

"I-"

"J-jaemin and Y/N f-fucked in the- the-" Renjun said with caution

"Oh just say it"

"JAEMIN AND Y/N FUCKED IN THE DAMN KITCHEN"

The room was filled with eyerolls and groans of disbelief. "W-we sanitized it if it makes you feel b-better?" Jaemin hesitantly spoke.

"Will you all, stop? Or else I'll sing that Justin Timberlake song in German"

"How do you even know that song-"

"Ten showed me" Yangyang whispered

Day 14/14, 11:11 pm

"Oh, fuck" You moaned

The light turned on.

Yangyang was met with his 5 naked roomates looking straight at him.

"I'm assuming Jaemin didn't close the door, again"

Jaemin nodded, "You wanna do this, Y/N?" he asked looking at you with a knowing look.

"Come here"

*a/n: And tada ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the long awaited Quarantine Boyz part 2 🤧 Sorry if that ending was a bit rushed because I honestly didn't know how to end this. Anyways I hope you enjoyed reading this~~~ 💖💖💖 -Abi~ <3

[cattles-bians]

damie vibecca exes au part 8

post directory

obsetress: now i just want fanart of damvibecca at the gym

em: well. pitch it to me comrade ghostfucker

obsetress: idk that's about as far as i got i just reread that bit about vibecca in their matching gym outfits and my brain got stuck

em: hypothetically do u have a colour palette in mind bc i associate gym outfits w like. bright loud colours and

em: idk if it works w our earth sign queens

[em note: emily is a liar and did NOT draw fanart of damvibecca at the gym]

[em note 2: we have the gym art now [x] [x]]

obsetress: i was imagining like charcoals tbh, or jewel tones

obsetress: i could see them in like jewel tone purples or that jewel tone blue green color

obsetress: yeah viola jewel tones or blacks n charcoals

obsetress: becs pastels and camels but jewel tones at the gym

em: it’s about Matching

em: And Destroying Ur Ex (platonically)

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: viola's feeling particularly smug about it but then

obsetress: dani's in an old school tshirt and shorts and jamie's in............ one of dani's old school tshirts and shorts

em: YES

obsetress: not intentionally, she just grabbed whatever was there

obsetress: dani chirps "oh you two look so cute! baby look, they have a matched set"

obsetress: viola arches an eyebrow "and so do you, it seems" and dani laughs "not on purpose, jamie just grabbed whatever was on top in the drawer"

viola: you two... share... a wardrobe?

dani: yeah?

em: god cute

obsetress: cute n dumb

em: they can share nearly everything except pants

em: well. pants as a treat

em: haha pants

em: trousers

obsetress: also rly nice rly clean smooth funny juxtaposition in my brain of vibecca being the ones who intentionally match and damie the ones for whom it just accidentally happens

obsetress: hahahah pants

obsetress: they can share pants but................ should they

em: idk miss chapter 12 danis thighs jamies pyjamas

em: should they

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: that's exactly what i was referring to THANKS

obsetress: anyway

obsetress: rebecca just laughs

obsetress: viola huffs and bex is like "sorry, babe, but it is kind of funny"

em: dani jamie wearing like

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

em: poor viola

obsetress: thinking about dani's ass in those

em: yeah....

em: violas huffing until jamies exercise flush lasts a little Too Long

obsetress: big blush jamie taylor

em: she’s still like ‘oi dani close ur mouth’ but then she

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: just ogling each other

obsetress: (they briefly pause to ogle vi and rebecca passing a medicine ball back and forth as they do squats and have to acknowledge that, yeah, they've all done alright by themselves)

em: funny montage of the gang doing exercise while surreptitiously taking Peaks

obsetress: omg all i want

obsetress:sometimes having friends as a lesbian means they're all your exes except one, who's your gf, and you're all checking each other out always anyway

em

And That’s Beautiful

obsetress

obsetress: dani: checking out viola's biceps, rebecca's abs

viola: checking out dani's thighs n ass

rebecca: minding her business

jamie: scowling n scrawny

obsetress:(n also checking out dani's thighs n ass, viola's biceps, and begrudgingly peeking at rebecca's abs)

obsetress: every other woman at the gym: checking out jamie, trying to figure out the entire dynamic here

are they a polycule? what

em: jamie probably like

em: maybe she gets really into running bc she just checks out and listens to her audiobooks but like

em: slow twitch vs fast twitch fibers so stays scrawny

obsetress: i can see that

obsetress: just gets on the treadmill and zones tf out

em: jamie ‘why don’t i have biceps’ taylor vs jamie ‘no u gotta lift w ur hips’ taylor

obsetress: she hates it but her psych told her it'll be good for her routine so you know she was like yes ma'am every day ma'am

em: cant believe safe lifting procedures screwed her over

em: ‘yes ma’am every day ma’am’ ur just Going for it arent ya anshdjdh

obsetress: sorry but don't tell me you can't hear it

obsetress: jamie's the person who takes notes in therapy

obsetress: jamie, in the locker room after their workout: do my biceps look bigger?

dani, patiently, already knowing where this is going: bigger than what, baby?

jamie: than yesterday

dani: mm, rome wasn't built in a day, you know

jamie: do they look bigger at all?

dani: well

em: i mean not to perceive her too much but mattresses scene indicates AE/jamie like. at least some muscle in the leg area

em: poor jamie

em: not playing to her strengths

obsetress: yeah she does

obsetress: i mean ae has toned af arms

obsetress: she's just wiry

em: how could i forget the benchpressing dog gif

obsetress: dani's like "jamie, baby, come do squats with me and vi" "m'good" "baby, c'mon, you'll like it" "don't wanna do squats" "it could be good for you" "don't wanna do squats with you two"

em: dani: you gotta like. eat more

jamie: i eat plenty

dani: no u graze all day and then u don’t eat dinner

obsetress: dani: five biscuits spread out across a day doesn't count as eating more

em: dani: protein jamie it’s abt protein

obsetress: dani: you need more protein, which is why i think some lentils would really––

em: jamie thinks protein shakes are Nasty

obsetress: jamie does think protein shakes are nasty but dani will make her a smoothie and sneak it in like she's a child

obsetress: viola and rebecca, with their matching monogrammed blender bottles, just staring

obsetress: becca's like "jamie, just drink it, really, it's fine"

obsetress: viola just does this haughty sniff at her and that's what finally gets jamie to start

em: jamie can deal w being a brat but the idea of viola having Anything over her drives her Insane

em: Drives Her Fuckign Nuts

obsetress: she hates it

obsetress: just the absolute fuckin worst

em: do u think dani ever like

em: like they REALLY need to clear out storage but it’s a boiling frog situation where it’s increased so gradually that

em: like jamie thinks it’s Fine storage is Clear Enough

em: it’s Not

em: danis like. should we invite rebecca and vi over

em: just be Idea of A Snide Viola Comment fills jamie w a burning rage

obsetress: oh my god

obsetress: i'm obsessed with this

obsetress: i would read a whole oneshot about this

em: eventually dani comes clean abt it n jamie thinks it’s v funny bc yknow; open and honest communication is a v important part of their dynamic

em: jamie: next time just tell me my storage looks like shite dani or i will be grumbling abt viola for a Week

obsetress: inevitably

obsetress: when they do have to come over to clean

obsetress: dani offers them takeout and wine ("step up from pizza and beer at least," jamie grumbles) and viola's like "jesus, dani, let's just go out to dinner. my treat"

obsetress: at dinner, viola's like "if you want more storage, i have some wonderful properties––"

obsetress: rebecca's mouthing "sorry" from next to her across the table

em: every time they go out rebecca takes vi aside n is like ok sweetheart so you promise you’re not gonna try convince them to sell the apartment again

em: and violas like (mock horror) of course i won’t. ye of little faith

em: and every time

em: every time she does

em: she’s tryna HELP

obsetress: she would too she'd be like

obsetress: "i'm just trying to HELP"

obsetress: "they're our FRIENDS"

em: i’m on a mission to figure out like

em: this is way way down the line

em: but i wanna believe eventually viola and jamie start to, at the v least, Tolerate each other

em: jamie might even be fond of the crazy bird but she’ll NEVER admit it

obsetress: god like vi's on business or some shit in like

obsetress: the UAE

obsetress: negotiating some Deal

obsetress: and so dani and jamie get dinner with just bex and they're driving home after and having a perfectly mundane conversation and then jamie's just blurting like

obsetress: "i think i miss vi"

em: she’s HORRIFIED

em: she tries to play it off as like um

em: she’s Too Comfortable

em: things are Too Boring

em: which is weird knowing everything we know abt jamie

em: but actually she just... maybe misses viola

em: danis like god i wish i was recording this

obsetress: jamie's passed out next to her at home later (it's ten pm) and dani's chattering happily away on the phone with vi (drinking a martini in her dubai hotel room at one am since, y'know, no bars) in bed right next to her

obsetress: "jamie, uh, said she misses you. i know. no, i KNOW. don't tell her i told you. yeah, yeah, you win, vi, we know. uh-huh. uh-huh. i'm gonna pretend you didn't just ask me that"

em: CUTE

em: u can’t lord it over her vi it’s a little secret

em: vi's like when have i EVER

em: she does

obsetress: once they're good again, dani and vi absolutely just. lose time (there's a metaphor in there) talking to each other still

em: this is wholesome tbh

em: i really like the damie stories where like

em: look it’s nice when damie have each other but it’s also nice when they have their own friends and stuff

em: dunno how to articulate that well

em: it’s a balance! it’s a balance

obsetress: yeah! exactly

obsetress: because that's part of the love n possession thing too yk

obsetress: not to say either of them would ever be like "no friends for you" but

obsetress: wanting to have a life outside of your partner yk

obsetress: they're meeting vi and rebecca for dinner after vi gets back and vi's just grinning and sweeping jamie into a hug "i heard you missed me"

em: she gets jamie a souvenir t-shirt

em: it’s too big

em: OR

em: child’s t-shirt

obsetress: (jamie sleeps in it that night)

obsetress: oh childs might be better

obsetress: she's like "you're a little scrawny, so..."

em: jamie sleeps in it.... soft bitch

em: she feels too much

obsetress: jamie taylor softest bitch

obsetress: dani watches her pull it on and raises an eyebrow and jamie's just like "wot"

em: jamies like (grumbles) i knew she was comin back i’m just

em: shouldn’t you be HAPPY about this development dani

em: ‘s’a gift... s’rude not t’....’

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: dani just grins "mmhm"

em: it accidentally makes its way into jamies workout clothes pile

obsetress: oh my GOD oh my god

obsetress: viola's shit eating GRIN when jamie shows up at the gym in it

em: jamies like fok

em: mental maths tryna figure if she wants to just. work out in a sports bra

em: she Doesn’t

obsetress: she Doesn't!

obsetress: (she's shy)

em: god it’s one of those shirts that’s like

em: someone who loves me went to UAE and got me this t-shirt or something

obsetress: dani corners her in their empty row in the locker room "you could've just taken it off, you know" "dunno, not everyone needs to... see that, you know?" "i'd certainly like to see it" jamie rolls her eyes but she's grinning "you can see that any time" "well maybe i wanted to see it during my workout" "dani......."

em: jamies embarrassed bc of her gnarly farmers tan means her tummy is at least five shades lighter than the rest of her

em: crisp tan lines

obsetress: god jamie's farmers tan

em: once again i am bringing my tan lines jamie agenda

obsetress: dani loves jamies dumb farmers tan so much

obsetress: she giggles

obsetress: but it's the most loving giggle possible

em: and then when she gets into running...

em: god when i was rowing there were a couple ppl w like what i called a neapolitan icecream tan which is

em: gimme a second

obsetress: jamie gets all huffy when dani giggles at her tan but then dani's like "baby, no, i think it's cute" and jamie gives her a look and dani grins mischievously and ducks her head

obsetress: and then she's licking and kissing and nipping her way along jamie's dumb tan lines

em: there it is

obsetress: it was inevitable

em: so caught up in the joy of jamies dumb farmer tans i forgot abt her gnarly scar she keeps under wraps

em: baby

em: the most baby

obsetress: baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

em: jamie decides the only way to claim the stupid t-shirt as hers is to cut off the sleeves

em: it’s abt the ritual of the thing

obsetress: she shows up at the gym wearing it and

obsetress: that's viola's "oh no she's hot" moment

em: YEAH BABY

obsetress: literally just like

obsetress: world stops

obsetress: viola stares

em: jamie finally gets to do an exercise that shows off her sinewy manual labor grip forearms

em: viola’s probably just as horrified to find jamie hot as every time jamies like oh no

em: violas hot

em: and once again jamie CANNOT know she’s hot bc she will be insufferable

em: she will be the Worst

obsetress: viola's tugging rebecca aside "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "what?" viola waves a hand and rebecca just furrows her brow a little and is like "that's just... what she looks like, vi"

obsetress: viola corners dani next "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "i did" "oh. right" viola pauses, then "why didn't you make sure i was listening?" dani just gives her a look and walks away

obsetress: dflksdjfldaj god the way jamie and viola are. the same

obsetress: kind of incredibly, in the same ways dani and rebecca are the same

em: “hey baby, did viola seem different today? seemed off”

em: jamies like. is she mad at me. did i break another social taboo.

em: rebecca ‘jamie looks like jamie’ jessel vs dani ‘my gf is so hot i can’t stand it’ clayton

obsetress: "i tell you how hot she is at least three times a week, vi"

em: danis tryna goad her into making the damn shirt a crop top

em: jamies like yeah but isn’t that a step too far. i feel like i am destroying this shirt too much

em: she does it anyway

em: so jamies workout clothes are danis endless grey baggy school t-shirts and this one ugly souvenir shirt that like

em: psychological warfare and she doesn’t even know it

obsetress: i would........ like to see it

obsetress: also crop top jamie is one of my favorite jamies

obsetress: she is severely underrated

em: crop top jamie is

obsetress: and we do not talk about her enough

em: jamie wear More crop tops

obsetress: viola and rebecca in bed, in matching facemasks, after going to the gym post-epiphany that Jamie Is Hot

obsetress: viola: are dani and jamie hotter than us?

rebecca: what?

obsetress: and like

obsetress: viola is NOT insecure

obsetress: she is constantly confident that she's the most attractive woman in the room at any given moment, but

obsetress: she's just so staggered by this realization

em: some neutral third party (ms grose and mr sharma probably) are like well. u guys definitely have a little more of a scary thing going on

em: i’m imagining rebecca and viola at brunch w hannah and owen v seriously discussing this

em: viola brings it up and rebecca GROANS but then she gets invested in the convo

obsetress: GOD yeah

obsetress: she's leaning forward and gesturing with her fork "when you say 'scary'..........."

em: owens like scary is a compliment

em: hannah grose sips her tea knowingly

obsetress: rebecca just narrows her eyes at hannah grose and hannah raises her eyebrows and shrugs

em: after a week or so viola bursts into a room w stupid big sunglasses and a tray of take out coffees and she’s like Don’t You Worry Jamie I Have Concluded You’re Hot But I’m Not Threatened By It

em: jamies like sorry WHAT

em: you’ve been thinking about WHAT

em: viola leaves without ever following it up

obsetress: dani is entirely unfazed

obsetress: doesn't even blink

em: danis like neat she remembered the oat milk

em: everyone in this au is insane

obsetress: any lesbian in 2021 is insane

obsetress: par for the course

em: was gonna protest but

em: Yeah

obsetress: this lesbian meme account i follow on insta is doing “stop asking who’s the top and who’s the bottom. start asking...” posts

obsetress: and one of them is “start asking who’s baby and who’s fuck around and find out” and it just makes me chuckle

obsetress: jamie taylor baby

obsetress: viola lloyd also baby

em: dani is baby passing and jamie is fuck around faking

obsetress: oh my god that’s why that’s why i think we cracked it

obsetress: dani (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: rebecca (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: the reason they could never cross further even tho per the transitive property dani (so similar to vi) should be able to date beccs and jamie (so similar to beccs) should be able to date vi is because

obsetress: you can’t have two babies and two fuck arounds in a relationship together

em: oh of course. i see. i see

em: however in the rare rare crack ship of the ‘jamie viola hatefuck’ a similar phenomenon to ‘social anxiety mum friend ordering food’ instinct takes over and someone fucks around and finds out

em: this is just my unhinged jamie viola hatefuck bulkshit which is. it’s ironic ok it’s ironic it’s ironic it’s

em: ok one last thought bc i know it’s super late for u but

obsetress: omg i also have a last thought let’s trade

em: what if mikey is about isabels age n jamie ends up looking after him for one reason or another for a bit

em: and viola absolutely Dotes on him

obsetress: omg

obsetress: that’s what does it. jamie seeing viola w mikey

em: grumble grumble i guess she’s not that bad

em: except then she’s like god what if mikey likes her MORE than me

obsetress: “dani what if mikey gets one of those weird first crushes on vi”

obsetress: dani doesn’t even look up from the laundry “who hasn’t had a crush on vi”

obsetress: jamie’s like “mE” and dani just gives her the most withering look

em: danis like It’s Par For The Course Jamie

em: danis a teacher she’s like it happens don’t sweat it

em: anyway

em: what was. what was ur last little thought

obsetress: i was just thinking more about viola also baby and how also she’s been so privileged her whole life that sometimes there are just some things she can’t do for herself because she just doesn’t know how

obsetress: like she’s never had to learn

em: rebecca gets um

em: freeze dried coffee

em: nescafé

obsetress: but like

obsetress: rebecca genuinely loves taking care of vi for whatever reason (it’s because she loves her) when she really needs it but

obsetress: rebecca also takes no shit and is like “i’m not making the nescafé for you. you’re 36 years old, vi, you need to learn to do it for yourself”

obsetress: and she’ll stand there and watch her do it and then she makes vi do it at least three more times for posterity

obsetress: “i’ll make a plebeian of you yet, viola lloyd”

obsetress: (god only the two of them would think a line like that is funny)