#anyway idk if this counts as secret sun lore or not

[threadsun]

So many of y'all are so endearingly shy about your kinks and like... always worry that you're requesting stuff that's too out there for me and... okay, so like here's the thing. I've been part of my local kink/bdsm community for years, I studied the sociology of sex and kink as part of my degree in uni, and most importantly I'm a sex worker and professional erotica writer.

So like... a short and vague list of things I've been paid to write about and/or video myself doing specifically for someone's sexual pleasure:

Blowing up a balloon

Teeth brushing

Diaper hypnosis

Bunnyboy to dragonboy transformation

Brain slugs

Ear fingering

Eating crackers

Reading aloud the back of a soap bottle

A detailed description of furry social media

Knee massage

And those are just the more obscure ones. There's plenty of stuff I could list that's considered far "grosser," "weirder," or more "fucked up."

I actively enjoy exploring new things and indulging other peoples' kinks, even when they do nothing for me personally. I promise you anything you might send me will not be the most out there thing I've heard. And even if I can't figure out how to write it, I'll never judge anyone for asking.

So y'all don't need to keep apologising for asking me to write kinky stuff!! If I wasn't having fun, I wouldn't keep doing it!!

[pinacoladamatata]

figured some people may not have heard this theory; so some theory bullshitting about evanuris, their symbols, and old gods predictions/lore speculation under the cut

It's a decently popular theory that the Evanuris are the old gods under different names. So we have the evanuris

Elgar'nan: God of Vengeance

Mythal: the Great Protector - now known to be Flemeth/came to Flemeth at some point long time ago.

Falon'Din: Friend of the Dead, the Guide

Dirthamen: Keeper of Secrets

Andruil: Goddess of the Hunt

Sylaise: the Hearthkeeper

June: God of the Craft

Ghilan'nain: Mother of the Halla

Fen'Harel: The Dread Wolf aka Solas. known to have been in uthanera until like, yeah you know.

not counting solas, that is 8 gods. 7 of which he locked away, bc Mythal was already dead (kindof). Then, this art we got, only 2 of 7 bells are still lit. and the number 2 leads us to the archdemons

Now Archdemons, which we know are 'awakened old gods' that used to be worshiped in Tevinter.

Dumat, the Dragon of Silence and the archdemon of the First Blight

Zazikel, the Dragon of Chaos and the archdemon of the Second Blight

Toth, the Dragon of Fire and the archdemon of the Third Blight

Andoral, the Dragon of Slaves and the archdemon of the Fourth Blight

Urthemiel, the Dragon of Beauty and the archdemon of the Fifth Blight (This is the one that gets soul sucked into baby Kieran if you do the old god ritual)

Razikale, the Dragon of Mystery

Lusacan, the Dragon of Night

The only thing is it's hard to tell WHICH evanuris could be Which old god. But with the new dragon age 4 trailers and art, we see those evanuris symbols and we Know that 2 of them are going to feature, and Razikale and Lusacan are the only old gods left, who could be any of the evanuris really, but my guess is

Dumat = Falon'Din, killed in blight 1

Zazikel = June killed in blight 2

Toth = Sylaise kileld in blight 3

Andoral = Andruil killed in blight 4

Urthemiel = Dirthamen either killed in blight 5 or turned into Keiran

Razikale = Ghilan'nain

Lusacan = Elgar'nan

and honestly any could be any of them, I'm just kindof going off vibes. The last 2 are just more heavily theorized to be Elgar and Ghil.

I want to point out that Razikale could also be Dirthamen, since mystery and secrets line up fairly well, and Lusacan could also be Falon'Din, ala night and death. and I personally think Razikale could be Andruil and that Urthemiel may have been Ghilan'nain but I have no evidence other than Andruil's symbol of a bow kinda looks like the one headpiece and again, vibes. There's ALSO the constellation codex you can use to try and line these up but it's like, complica- ANyway, it could be any of them really

this image below also shows 2 figures, who we can kindof just assume are like, 2 other big bads

Given the shape of their heads/imagery, a lot of people theorize that the one on the left is Ghilan'nain, and the one on the right is Elgar'nan, but we also don't know for sure. The main points for these 2 has to do with Elgar'nan being associated with the sun, and Ghilan'nain being associated with monsters.

There's also This image where someone tries to line up all Evanuris names to symbols, from lysergic_fox on reddit

and now this from the new reveal trailer- 7 pillars with the evanuris symbols atop them, although we can only see 4 in the clip

so yeah i think a lot of signs are pointing in the evanuris = the archdemons direction and there's 2 left + maybe Kieran who used to hold the soul of one of them, but after DAI's ending of Mythal taking ~something~ (probably the old god soul) from Keiran and then Solas ??killing?? Mythal and that blue smoke, Solas may have both Mythal and the other old god baby soul, idk wtf happened there.

another reasoning for thinking evanuris = old gods actually comes in form of a codex in the Bellitanus constellation in DAI, where it shows Urthemial and the constellation looks like this; compared to one of the evanuris/bell symbols on the right

if this theory is true, it seems likely that the black city is also part of arlathan, and that the BAD (big ass dragon) in the trailer may be of the remaining evanuris. (it may also not be but again.)

So now, where do we think Titans and the blight fit into all this, knowing what we know about Lyrium being Titan blood, and red Lyrium having the blight and the titan mural?

And THEN we have the forgotten ones (we only know about 3) (im pulling this stuff from the wiki btw)

Anaris – according to an old tale, he was once tricked by Fen'Harel while dueling the Great Hunter Andruil

Daern'thal - from that one staff description in DAI; "The Forgotten Ones belong to the ancient Elven pantheon, but their names were lost after the Great Betrayal. Their worship continued in the shadows, despite efforts to stamp it out in the old Dalish kingdom. This staff belonged to a priest of those gods, specifically Daern'thal"

Geldauran - from DAI codex entry: There are no gods. There is only the subject and the object, the actor and the acted upon. Those with will to earn dominance over others gain title not by nature but by deed. I am Geldauran, and I refuse those who would exert will upon me. Let Andruil's bow crack, let June's fire grow cold. Let them build temples and lure the faithful with promises. Their pride will consume them, and I, forgotten, will claim power of my own, apart from them until I strike in mastery.

I would guess these were all actually elvhen or whatever. But who wants to bet the Great Betrayal is when Mythal was killed?? 👀

I almost wonder if some of the archdemons/old gods are forgotten ones instead of evanuris? but the numbers for the evanuris line up so much better.

AND we got the Forbidden ones; a group of four unique and very powerful ancient demons. It is said that they are older than both the darkspawn and the Tevinter Imperium. Some scholars even believe they taught the Magisters of old how to use blood magic.

The Formless One - we know like, nothing.

Gaxkang - demon dude in Denerim you could hunt down and kill in DAO

Imshael - demon dude you can kill/or let go in Emprise in DAI

Xebenkeck - desire demon you can kill in DA2

There's another codex or something that talks about how they were exiled from the evanuris lands but i don't remember where it was in the wiki. Interesting that they all seem to be spirits/demons however.

so like *total speculation here* but i think the forgotten ones may have been solas's old coworkers and might still be kicking and i *almost* think he's trying to save them, rather than the evanuris, and his "plans" consist of getting their help to deal with the remaining 2 evanuris/old gods

So anyone else want to go off the deep end and compare constellation codex notes?? theories? 👀

(but also none of this is serious and it's all theory so don't be gettin all bent out of shape if you disagree. you can reblog this in 6 months and make fun of it if it's all wrong lmao)

[angel-eyes05]

i remember his hands - preview

PAIRING: kang the conqueror x fem!reader

SUMMARY: after a scientific experiment goes horribly wrong, you've been transported to the quantum realm and have been stuck there for the past decade. with no company, aside from janet van dyne, your life changes forever when a mysterious man in a golden ship crash lands next to your settlement. startled with his initial presence, you two have a rocky start. but as time goes on, you two find each other slowly drawn to one another. you have secrets though, and he has a past he refuses to bring up. can you two make it through navigating an unknown world together, discovering any ulterior motives, and stand the test of time in a place where time has no meaning at all?

INFO: slow romantic burn, pretty fast sexual burn, kinda enemies to lovers????, takes place during that little flashback janet has during quantumania, idk how accurate this is gonna be to canon stuff cause i get very confused about the quantum realm lol, reader is in mid to late 20s while kang is in his “early 30s” (ik he like technically doesn't age or whatever idk the lore but i just made it accurate to jonathan majors age and wanted to give an accurate age range/gap/count), y/k is very fleshed out like i give her everything lol

WARNING: implied su!c!dal thoughts

CHAPTER WORD COUNT: 570

NOTES: hi there!!!! did i make an account just so i could post this? yes, yes i did, and what about it. I was looking for quantumania!kang fics and turns out, theres like 3-4!! so i was like, hey why not. please don't judge my writing cause this is the first fic i’ve written…like ever lol. also, please suspend your disbelief for this, like don’t question why they have working appliances or whatever or that i made up names for the monsters or something, cause 1) idk how to explain that stuff and 2) that's not the main focus sooooo yeah. but, nonetheless, i hope you guys enjoy, if anyone even reads this at all even though this is mainly for my sake lol.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s been ten years. Ten years since it all went wrong and you landed in this wretched place. Ten years since you’ve had a decent meal and been able to sleep soundly without having to worry about the creatures of the quantum realm getting you in the night. It got slightly better around seven years ago when you found Janet Van Dyne, someone who had experience in navigating this strange world. About 30 years of experience in fact. The thought of you being down here for that long made you nauseous. 

Every day was the same. Wake up, check the settlement perimeter, help Janet with breakfast, hunt surrounding mites, occasionally go into town to trade for parts, eat dinner, then go to bed. Thank god Janet was there or else you might’ve gone insane by now. All this repetition was not your style at all.

You missed life up above. You missed going out with your friends. You missed running into people at the grocery store you haven’t seen since elementary school. You missed your yearly trip to New York during Christmas and seeing everything so festive. It sounds pretentious but it was the truth.

But what you missed most of all was San Francisco. It sounds stupid but you loved it there more than anything. You loved how the flowers would bloom during the springtime. You missed feeling the wind through your hair, as aggressive as it would be at times. You missed going to the beaches. Being in the cool water, feeling the sand in between your fingers and toes, being kissed by the sun. God, you missed the sun. Everything was so dark down here. So…hopeless. Thank god Janet was there or you might’ve…

There wasn’t any point in thinking like that anymore. You had accepted life the way it was. It wasn’t like you had a solid plan for making it back home anyways. As much as you did miss it, it wasn’t like the power of hope, love, and friendship would make a quantum tunnel appear out of thin air. Even if you could find someone selling the necessary pieces to power the tunnel, they would probably be listing it at way too high of a price for you to apprehend it. So for now, and probably for the rest of your life (however long of that left you had, time was strange down here), all the good you can do is try to protect yourself, keep Janet company, and stare at the stars, or whatever you wanted to call them. 

That's exactly what you decided to do before heading off to bed. After checking the surroundings of the settlement for mites, you sat next to the closest thing you could call a creek and just stared up at the engulfing darkness. The tranquility this activity brought you allowed you to sleep soundlessly, without an unknown creature coming out of the shadows to attack you. While staring up at the twinkling lights, you see one of them in the distance that appears to be moving closer to you. As it gets closer, you can make it out as a circular, golden ship. It crash lands about 300 feet away, causing the earth around you to shake. Curiosity takes over you as you decide to start heading over to the crash sight, unaware about how much the repetition of your life you always complained about was about to dissolve.

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NEXT PART

A/N: hiiiiii, so that was the quick little preview, i hope you liked it. i’m gonna be honest im very nervous about posting this lol 😭. but i hope you enjoyed it. chapter 1 should come out shortly after i post this so i hope you’ll stick around for the rest of the series!!!

[haveyoureadthisqueerbook]

the other me by xan van rooyen (trans mc)

this rebel heart by katherine lock (polyam relationship, two bisexual mcs, one gay side character)

iron widow by xiran jay zhao (polyam relationship, three bisexual mcs, mc is also possibly nb or genderqueer)

call down the hawk by maggie Stiefvater (gay mc, bisexual mc, bisexual side character)

the prey of gods by Nicky drayden (can’t remember the specific kind of rep)

it’s not like it’s a secret (lesbian characters and relationship. please maybe note on the poll that the submitter would really really not recommend this book? i think it’s important to let people know of queer books, but also this book relied on so many stereotypes — about lesbians and Asian-Americans — and had a cheating subplot and was just….)

beating heart baby by lio min (trans mc)

the borrow a boyfriend club by page powars

may the best man win by zr Ellor (trans mc, bisexual mc, nonbinary mc, queer side character)

a promise broken by Lynn o cochroft (trans, aroace guy is one of the two mcs)

not your sidekick by cb Lee (lesbian mc, sapphic relationship, trans side character)

always the almost by Edward underhill

the spirit bares its teeth and hell followed with us both by aj white

a day of fallen night and the priory of the orange tree by Samantha shannon

generation one by pittacus lore (gay mc, not a huge part of the plot though. but confirmed in-text)

last night at the telegraph club by malinda lo

you’re not supposed to die tonight by kalynn bayron

lady midnight and sword catcher both by Cassandra clare

Star Wars: black spire by delilah s Dawson (aroace mc)

Star Wars: the empire strikes back 40th anniversary short story compilation (idk if it counts as a queer book but one short story was a sapphic love story)

one of us is lying by Karen mcmanus

two tuns of fun by

birthday by Meredith russo

invisibly breathing by

i’ll give you the sun by judy Nelson (i think! not sure if i’m remembering her name right)

brooms the graphic novel by jasmine walls

this queer girl is going to be okay by dale walls

two mummies / two daddies (kids picture books)

death’s country by rm romero

redsight by Meredith mooring

the death i gave him by em li xu (tumblr would LOVE this book)

Been outside by shaz zamore

ALSO: a note to op. this blog is such a great idea, but have you considered setting up a google form for submissions instead? they work for people who don’t have Google accounts, and you can export the entries to a spreadsheet automatically instead of manually that way too. if you let submitters view previous responses you can prevent repeats too?

I've queued most of these! Exceptions below:

-Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back 40th Anniversary short story compilation: since only one of the stories is queer, I'm not going to include it. This is absolutely arbitrary, I realize, but for short story collections, I'm looking for them to be mostly queer.

-Two Tuns of Fun: I couldn't find any book by this name.

-Two Mummies / Two Daddies (kids picture books): are these individual books? I couldn't find anything with these exact titles.

-Beating Heart Baby and The Priory of the Orange Tree were already queued (they were both in my initial batch of queued books prior to going live with the blog).

The google form is a good idea and something I'll consider! At the moment, it doesn't save me any work, and actually creates more. I would need to check every submission anyway to make sure it's correct and in the format I want it in. Currently I've got a Google Sheets spreadsheet with all books (both queued and posted) for people to check if their suggestion has already been submitted. Thanks for the idea, though!

[derpcakes]

So we watched (nay, Experienced) the BBC/Netflix Dracula series

Brought to us by everyone’s favourite team, Steve Moff and Mark Gatiss, promising to be an innovative and exciting new vision of the classic novel

Boy it was definitely something!!!

First I will say: obviously Moff is not my favourite TV writer and my fam and I did go into this with a bias. I’m happy to report, though, that it’s going to be one of these shows that haunts me forever, because if it had just been bad I could have said “bleh” and deleted it from my brain. But because parts of this were genuinely cool, interesting, and fun, and parts of it genuinely had potential, all the bits that were bad stand out as so much worse and the whole thing feels as cursed as a 500 year old undead count. 

Things that were enjoyable and well put-together:

Van Helsing has been gender-swapped into a vampire-hunting nun and her cat-and-mouse game with Dracula is rife with belligerent sexual tension. I was ready to hate this, and ready for like, Sherlock and Irene Adler 2.0, but their dynamic was actually pretty fun to watch! Their power balance is kept even throughout most of the show, and Helsing is never struck down because of ~womanly failings~ or infantilised. She’s consistently really clever and, even if there are some cringey one-liners, I found her and Draccy’s playful quest to murder each other one of the most fun parts of the show. It could’ve been better, but it was enjoyable! (I also like how Helsing isn’t Young and Hot, but is a capable older lady, and her actor and Draccy’s even seem about the same age. Amazing)

The second episode is a spooky murder mystery/horror mini-movie on a ship, with a cast full of interesting characters who all had different things going on and different relationship dynamics that were compelling to watch. There’s even an interracial gay couple! And they’re like, written pretty sympathetically and to be layered and flawed in ways that didn’t feel too stereotypical! And they don’t die first!! Wack! I understand the bar is on the ground, but it’s still worth a mention

Some fun with vampire lore: Draccy absorbs knowledge and traits from people he drinks blood from (which is how he learns languages. Get Duolingo, dude, stop eating people), leading to the intriguing suggestion that myths like “vampires will die in sunlight” and “vampires are afraid of holy symbols” have kinda become real to him even if they don’t literally work, because he’s swallowed so many people to whom these superstitions and beliefs were law. I’m sure this isn’t the first time this has been done, but groundbreaking or no it was kinda neat

Things that were not enjoyable and well put-together:

EVERYTHING ELSE

Episode 1: a weird speedrun of most of the original novel, feat. weaponised nuns and a weird fixation on whether or not Jonathan Harker and Draccy boned. They did not. Dracula pops out of the body of a wolf and he’s Whole Ass Naked. Him and Van Helsing have a power play where she stands just on the threshold of a convent and calls him a little bitch, knowing he can’t come and get her. A knife is licked. 

Episode 2: aforementioned cool ship horror story. Definitely the best ep. It really makes me think about hbomb’s critique that Moff is pretty good at doing standalone stories (and pilots), but when things are tied into a bigger narrative things get zonkers. 

Episode 3: Things Get Zonkers!!

Let me just. Okay. I have the most to say about this one because this is where things really got batshit. And yet, also really boring? How does that figure? Anyway:

Dracula emerges from under the sea and finds that 123 years have passed and he’s now the star of a Modern AU. Upon setting foot on British sand he is immediately accosted by what appears to be an anti-vampire task force. There’s a helicopter. It is later explained how they knew to pounce on him at this exact moment, but holy god it was wild to watch the entire British Secret Service descend on this one wet bastard in a suit

The editing shifts aggressively in the direction of Sherlock. Mark Gattis is there playing an amazingly annoying character. There’s a fuckign.... Underground Secret Society devoted to studying vampires and they put Drac in a Designated Glass Prison for Smug Geniuses (also as seen in Sherlock). Van Helsing is dead but her great-great-grand-niece is played by the same actress and. Okay. Van Helsing, vampire hunting nun, possesses her descendent and rises through the ether to roast Drac one last time, and he’s DELIGHTED TO SEE HER AGAIN. 

And she has cancer, right, so her blood is poisonous when Draccy tries to bite her, but in the end, right, the end of the episode, right, the final shots of the show, he comes to a place where he’s willing to die, and she’s already dying, and so he drinks her blood and they die together on a table while cinematic metaphor vision shows them having sex in the middle of the sun

There was a badly CGI-ed vampire baby. Jonathan Harker falls from a tower and a scene later they flash back to this event by reversing the footage of him falling down, meaning we just see him go VWOOP up through the air, bouncing off the wall on the way. Van Helsing says the words “come boy, suckle” when she’s goading Drac into drinking her blood. The show sits in a weird middle ground where the characters talk about sex a lot (”dID yOu HaVe sExUaL iNterCOURSE with COUNT DRACULA?”) and Drac is clearly meant to be super magnetic and sexy but the characterisation and cinematography is not horny at all. People have these sexy-type dreams of their lover of choice when Drac is drinking their blood but even those are very boring and weirdly chaste, except of course for the final one where, if I  can take the chance to remind you, Van Helsing and Dracula have symbolic Mind Palace sex inside the centre of the solar system

I can’t speak too much on its quality as an adaptation since I actually haven’t read the book, but splitting the story so that some characters (the Harkers, Van Helsing) existed in the time the story is set, and some (Lucy, Dr Seward) exist in The Modern AU felt very strange. Was there any reason to set the third episode in modern times, apart from the fact that I guess they wanted to do their Sherlock thing again? Or, perhaps, because they wanted to do their Jekyll thing again?? Oh my god, that’s what the editing reminds me of - the small clips of Jekyll I’ve seen. The zooming. The slow-mo. The emphasis on The Monster Man’s weird goddamn teeth

(Also, I don’t really feel qualified to dig too deep into it, but I will say there felt something a bit uncomfortable about Lucy being black in this version, while also being written to be very promiscuous and vain. idk. Also, since it happened in an ep of Sherlock as well, “weedy white Nice Boy rescues the Very Cool woman of colour he has a tragically unrequited crush on” is now an official Moffattis trope)

Count Moffatula is an experience. Its pacing is buck wild. The speeding through the original plot and the mish-mashing of elements in the Modern AU section feels like another expression of contempt for the source material on Moff’s part. Someone says “reality is overrated” in a show set in the 1890s. Draccy quotes a Beatles song. He also makes quippy allusions to having eaten various famous figures and basically winks at the camera every time. Granted, this wasn’t as obnoxious as I was maybe expecting, but there are still too many lines of dialogue where you think “oh, the writers high-fived each other after they wrote that one, huh”. The fact that Moff has such vitriol against fan fic writers is more and more grating every day because this is so, so clearly a zany-ass fanfic that he happens to be getting paid for. The costumes are nowhere near as nice as they could have been, and Dracula’s cape looks like his mum made it for him for the school play in which he is playing Dracula. 

This show is So Much. Watch it to share in this fever dream. Or don’t, and save approximately 5 hours of your life. God. 5 hours. Who was I before Count Maffatula. Who am I now. Why was his cape so bloody ugly. Why did they bone in the centre of the sun