#anyway it was a fun time i just would not call it a wonka prequel

[meat-church]

the only willy wonka prequel I want is what prompted the weird hell boat ride. what happened so slightly eccentric timothee chalamet to make him turn into incredibly unhinged gene "not a speck of light is showing so the danger must be growing are the fires of Hell a-glowing? is the grisly Reaper mowing?" Wilder??

[littlealeta]

Wonka Review

I was skeptical about this film since I first heard of its announcement a few years ago. And then, I forgot about it until I heard it came out, like right the fuck out of nowhere back in December. I was surprised to see all the hype it got. I mean, clearly this was meant to be cash grab, right? Well, apparently, it surprised a lot of people. And I decided to go see it in the theater because after all, it IS a Willy Wonka movie, so at the very least, it should be fun right?

...

Barely.

Story

Right off the bat, I had little care about the story. Wonka, at first glance, is kinda an idiot. He signs a contract, ignoring a young girl's warnings, which leads into the film's conflict of needing to pay it off. And then, other chaos ensues after he sells chocolate without a store and Wonka is publicly shamed. Look, I don't know what things were like in the 1900s, 1800s or whatever, but is it really illegal and/or morally wrong for someone to sell their own products without a store in that time period?

Anyway, by that point, I could pretty much tell where the story was going.

I really don't care to explain the plot any further. It's just a boring origin story about a man trying to make chocolate while facing the bad guys (because we always need a bad guy for a story). You might as well watch the movie Chocolat instead. It has all the usual hollywood tropes and beats. Character wants something, they do something stupid because of plot reasons, people kick their ass because they're assholes, they partner up with the annoying sidekick who tries to brighten things up when things get tough, they get chased by bad guys, BIG action sequence, disney death, orphan finds out their family is alive plot twist, everyone is happy as they can be, the end. It's another movie made to milk a popular franchise and really not worth your time and money. If you're really curious about it, wait until it streams.

Not gonna lie, I do think a Willy Wonka origin story COULD work if they were willing to expand on the creative world he gave us in the movie and book, but the film barely even does that. It just throws in a few special effects and calls it a day.

Characters

It's been a long time since I've seen the Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory film, but from what I remember, Wonka had a lot of character. He was bubbly, zany, quirky, cheerful, and full of energy. This Wonka has barely any of that or any personality at all. He's imaginative and determined, but that's about it. He's also quite ignorant as well (which I don't remember the original Wonka being at all). It doesn't even feel like the same Willy Wonka.

Noodle is your average sassy, optimistic, precocious child sidekick. She wasn't really necessary. Just Hollywood shoving in child characters to appeal to their young audience. Noodle could've been an adult and it would still make just as much sense.

I don't have anything else to say about the other characters because there really isn't anything special to say about them and I don't remember shit about them.

I will say there are some witty dialogue here, but that's about it as far as characters go.

Acting/Music/Special Effects

The movie does well with all of these for the most part. The songs aren't the most memorable, but I will start signing Scrub Scrub whenever I clean. All of the actors pull off amusing performances and do well with what they were given. Timothee Chalamet makes for a fairly bland Wonka, but it's not really his fault. The special effects look great and are about one of the few actually imaginative parts of the film.

Overall

It's pretty much everything you expect out of a Hollywood prequel/sequel/remake. Almost everything about it is pointless, uninspired, forgettable, generic, and flat. If anyone is willing to explain why the hype for this movie was earned, I would love to hear it. Nothing about the plot or characters interested me. It's basically Chocolat with some action and fantasy in it. Willy Wonka doesn't even feel like Willy Wonka. Characters hate on the main character and the main character gets himself into trouble because... plot I guess. It reeks entirely of corporate meddling and crunched time.

Wonka gets 3.9 bells out of 10

I'm pretty sure that this will be one of those things that will quickly age and be mostly forgotten fairly soon. Just watch the classic instead.

[meat-church]

the only willy wonka prequel I want is what prompted the weird hell boat ride. what happened so slightly eccentric timothee chalamet to make him turn into incredibly unhinged gene "not a speck of light is showing so the danger must be growing are the fires of Hell a-glowing? is the grisly Reaper mowing?" Wilder??