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coffeebeannate · 3 years

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Taken from @werebearbearbar

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works (fics, art, edits, etc.) you’ve created this year and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world in 2020. If you don’t have five published works, that’s fine! Include ideas/drafts/whatever you like that you’ve worked on/thought about, and talk a little about them instead! Remember, this is all about self-love and positive enthusiasm, so fuck the rules if you need to. Have fun, and tag as many fellow creators as you like so they can share the love! <3

I started writing fic years and years ago. And have done so in other fandoms before taking a long hiatus from the writing world in general. I stuck with written roleplay only. For what I assume to be around four or five years, I did not write a single fic. (I also wrote short stories in childhood, teen years and young adult years)

(I want to point out though that this absolutely does not negate roleplay writing, and that writing with another person, or in a group is a lesser form) My break from fanfic came with one of the worst periods of my mental and physical health, and everything I had written was purged from my Ao3 account in a single night.

I started writing for The Old Guard in August, and below, are the things I like a lot that I’ve written for it. To do this, I decided to use the criteria of ‘fics I like the most’ instead of what seems to be the most popular to read. For me, if I really love a piece of work, I recall the creative process fondly, and have lines and bits of dialogue I truly adore within it.

1. Precision Mission Fic. Gala. Post-Movie. Current Group (Nile, Andy, Joe, NIcky)

Rated M (Mature) 4846 words

My second fic for the fandom that I published, but the first I actually conceptualized. This one is just..so special to me. I have phone notes typed at five am. I can recall the excitement as I was so eager to share this story and get it off the ground. I wanted to see this complete so bad. I loved nearly every second of writing it, and it’s always going to hold a special place in my heart as a result. There’s so much overdone clothing talk and I can only think of it with fondness.

Excerpt:

None of them are comfortable. Except Joe, it seems.

Joe makes it look easy. Simplistic, even, judging by the way he effortlessly glides and charms his way through the expansive ball/congregating/entertaining room. Something that never failed to fascinate Nicky was the way Joe could integrate himself almost seamlessly into any scenario, situation, or environment. Neither Andy nor himself had that ability. Not when it came to cavorting, anyway. Nicky more quietly reserved, Andy lacking in the ability to care enough to fake it.

Nile seemed to be more in the middle. She did not appear overly comfortable with the mingling, but she had enough personal grace and adaptability to make it seem somewhat effortless to have a decent time.

All their eyes remained sharp on the surrounding area, awaiting the arrival of their target. And for all his schmoozing, Nicky knew Joe’s surveillance was tack-sharp, multitasking to a degree no one he was currently conversing with could have possibly noticed.

“You going to move at some point, or have you taken up permanent resident status here?” Nile asks, appearing at his side where Nicky has spent the last half-hour molded to the furthest left corner of the solid black bar. “I know you have an excellent view, but.”

Nicky snorted, though only Nile could actually tell, “Why waste a good opportunity?”, momentarily ceasing his Joe watching to stare back into the depths of his glass, which currently contained some horrifically shocking pink abomination, Nicky’s second drink, since he was letting the bar tender dictate them, too utterly distracted to care what was touching his lips, and curious with the way the bar tender had delighted in being given free reign to make whatever he desired.

To be fair, it didn’t taste that bad-something frighteningly sugary and weirdly noxious smelling, but it’s not exactly ‘crime against humanity’ levels of alcoholic nightmares.

2. Old

Post-movie. Current Group. (Andy, Nile, Joe, Nicky) Mortal Andy. Character study.

Rated T (Teen and Up Audiences), 2903 words.

My first attempt at Andy-centric writing. Andy is a character I consider a challenge to write, and that makes me want to write her more. This fic centers mostly around her and the others trying to come to terms with how much has happened, within day to day life and taking the comfort that they can in one another.

I really like this fic. A lot. Sure it’s short. Sure maybe not much happens, but Andy’s character fascinates me, as does her relationship with her family.

Excerpt:

Old.

Old

So motherfucking old.

Someone is calling out to her, her hearing and senses long fine-tuned to knowing. It’s Nicky- she can easily pretend she can’t hear him, he knows when she doesn’t want to talk to anyone, after all.

She’s being petty, and she knows it’s unfair. That the nearly untouched plate and nights spent not sleeping gives them reason to be at her. But facing them with that fact feels about as ideal as jumping into a flaming volcano right about now. They’re just worried. It makes her stomach turn, sour and vicious. Venom in the gut, acid in the heart.

Said volcano would be kinder.

3. Spice it Up (Or Not)

Joe and Nicky. Pre-Movie. Fluffy Lovings

Rated: E (Explicit) 3030 words

This one was just fun. I am such a sucker for banting, and the most established of established relationships that Nicky and Joe have going on. This one is indeed not safe for work, and honestly, the opening paragraphs are what came first, and I actually had to build the story around it.

Something that I think makes this fic fun to me as well is that, just because something that sounded like a good idea fails, it doesn’t make it an ending. Healthy communication, knowing each other..it’s so blissful to think about.

Things aren’t always perfect, but that’s okay. And it’s not always a threat. Oh and because this is me, what was supposed to be fairly light hearted gets all sappy and reflective mid-way.

Excerpt:

He knows Nicky in every way. He knows his scent from battle, from sex, from showers and from sleep. He knows his eyes in darkness, in light, in dread, excitement and worry. He knows his grief, his love, his sadness, and adoration. Excitement, passion, fear, and pain.

He could count each tear that Nicky has shed, could recall each tone of his voice in every language they know. From the first he heard to the current. The sweet harmony of song and the rough gasp of drunk intoxication. He’s heard him yell, heard him scream. Heard his shouts and his cries.

He knows how Nicky tends to favour his left shoulder even though there’s no reason beyond psychological to do so. A spot Joe stabbed so long ago. So far back in another life. He knows how he likes to pause and do surveillance before they enter any new location. Knows he likes vehicles that move fast and has a fondness for roller coasters.

He’s seen those hands, so large and skilled break bone, wield a sword and cut vegetables and fruit. Seen them card through his hair, felt them map out each knot and ridge in his spine and ribs, felt them so deep inside himself he can taste it. Rolling into it. Demanding, needing.

“Yusuf.” Nicky’s not calling him back, Nicky’s just as far gone. So often they seem to share thoughts.

Nicky knows Joe in all ways and more. Knows that Joe still sometimes seems to speak ancient by-gone languages in his sleep. Knows that he tends to carry the strongest personal scent in the dead of night. That no shower, no soap, no life experience or battle has truly ever masked the delightful musk he has to himself. There could be a cologne out there that would modify it, and Nicky would bite and lick it away. Demanding and asking, why take this from me? How dare you try to alter what I know and love so furiously?

4. Touch Before Heart

Historical Kaysanova. Early Years. Pre-Movie. Getting to Know Eachother.

Rated E (Explicit) 5030 words

As is pretty obvious by now, I write a LOT of early years Kaysanova. A lot. I am addicted to it.

This one..I love it. This might be one of my favourite pieces of writing of all time. If I was doing these numbers strictly in order preference, then I’d put it as number one I bet.

I think the summary I made for it sums up well just how much I love it. And maybe why.

The first moment they’re able to have a bath, they resolutely do not look at each other. Picking opposite ends of the small stream bed, backs turned to one another. A strange show of both trust and distrust; their backs were exposed, but it was up to their tentative mutual agreement to not partake in the opportunity to stab each other for it.

The..idea that they had so much to learn, so much to understand. So much confusion, anger mistrust..I just really really adore this fic and I think I did a good job with it.

Excerpt:

He curses in unison with Nicolò, both holding fast and steady as the thing finally rights itself, Nicolò letting out a slow, shaken breath of relief.

“Are you alright?” Yusuf asks, both to break the silence and mend the irritating gap they’ve created for themselves.

“Better. Thank you.”

Yusuf wants to scream.

He wants to grab Nicolò, shake him until he can do nothing but give him answers.

Why do you drive me to the brink of madness?

Why do I know your touch, but not your heart?

Why do you tempt me, consume me?

What does it mean?

Why are we here?

Why!?

It is an unfair desire; he’s hardly given the man any more clarity.

5. Curated

Post-Movie. Current Group (Nile, Andy, Joe, Nicky)

Rated G (General Audiences) 1807 words

Alright, I admit it, I had trouble picking number five. I picked Curated because it’s just..so fluffy. But it’s so sweet I always feel so sugary when I think of it. The softness that I tried to convey, and I think I succeeded.

Nile is another character that fascinates me, that I just do not explore enough, and this is all the comforting goodness I could ever hope to create.

Excerpt:

She’s grown used to the easy intimacy they all share, but the sight before her, Nicky’s eyes half-lidded, face a perfect serenity she rarely see’s on it, Joe lost, far-away in reciting but still wholly present, creates an odd, near-throbbing ache in her chest. Something powerful and raw. It’s hard to imagine that people who have been alive this long can be this content.

Everything they’ve seen, experienced and done. All the stories they’ve regaled her with. All the prep, the anxieties, the concerns, and curiosities. None of it seems to exist in these moments. Joe speaking in a language the world might think dead, the true master of softness within the room.

And there we have it! I have so much more I want to write, I have so much more I want to explore, and I thank you all for sharing in these journey’s with me. May there be more writing in our future!

#nate does writing #end of year fic thing #self positivity #things nate has written #long post

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ravenqueen89 · 4 years

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silent days, violent shades

A Patreon reward for the amazing @agentkatie featuring some angsty smooching with my ultimate ME ship.

Fandom: Mass Effect

Pairing: fem!Shep/Aria T’Loak

Rating: Teen and Up

Summary: ‘There’s profit in survival,’ Aria says, later, an offer masked as a parting shot as Shepard starts to walk away. They both know that Shepard can’t run, but Shepard allows herself the illusion for another stolen moment. The thought of disappearing is tempting - she could discover other galaxies, let this one save itself for once. She could live without being so intrinsically aware of how close she is to the end of it all.

Notes: Shep is very aware of it all ending in this one, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that’s what’s going to happen. Also Nyreen is mentioned as alive because that’s how I roll. Title and soundtrack: Aurora’s Winter Bird.

Word count: 1550

also on ao3

The alcohol supplies are intact. Shepard finds it a tainted sort of blessing with Omega still smouldering around her. She is sitting at the tattered remains of Afterlife's bar. There's an odd sort of quiet in the aftermath of destruction. Nyreen has disappeared somewhere in the underbelly of the asteroid again, chasing what's left to be chased along with the Talons. Shepard's chosen not to ask Aria how she feels about any of this. The highly creative fragments of swearing and random crashing noises ringing out at intervals through the emptiness say enough.

Shepard drinks expensive whiskey from one of the few glasses that remain whole, aware that she is doing this on borrowed time. She should already be back on the Normandy. She has a galaxy to save, after all.

The problem with that is that no one's ever told her what to do about the weariness that's settled in her bones. No one's told her how it would all suffocate her. No one's told her how she would end up fearing sleep because it brings her closer and closer to her inevitable end. They told her to be a hero and forgot to tell her how to survive it. She supposes that's the point.

She drinks the whiskey, far too conscious of the fact that while she's sitting here planets are ending. Around her, Omega lies in tatters, but it lives. Outside of it, the shadow of death looms with the weight of universes.

Her hands are shaking, so she grips the glass tighter between them. The warmth of her palms affects the whiskey but it still doesn't feel like proof that she's alive, so she drinks and tells herself there's no point to this. The alcohol burns like regret and death, but it's not enough. It doesn't make the thoughts stop.

When Aria emerges back onto the main floor of the club, as impeccably poised as ever, Shepard feels entirely too aware of the smoke and detritus that still cling to her. Aria looks at Shepard and her mouth curls in that way that hints at all the mocking words that are just waiting to spill from her. Aria looks at Shepard, at the visible proof of weakness in her hands, and says nothing. Instead, she jumps over what remains of the bar with that offensive elegance of hers. Shepard watches her as she finds a glass that hasn't shattered despite being cracked and reclaims the bottle for herself.

Shepard doesn't know what to do with the continued silence, so she taps her finger along her glass, her blunt fingernails parodying rhythm until Aria's hand covers hers and disrupts the sound. The shock of contact makes Shepard's hands stop shaking and her thoughts stutter. She needs to fill the silence with noise but she can't form words and Aria's hand is still on hers. Shepard can only bring herself to raise an eyebrow but Aria doesn't bother to explain herself and that, at least, is familiar. All she does is look at Shepard like she can see right through her. All she does is remove her hand and sip on her drink like this is normal, but Shepard doesn't remember what normal feels like and knows that she won't find it here.

Everything feels slightly surreal, but Shepard attributes at least some of that to her own exhaustion. She can't remember the last time she slept more than a couple of hours at a time, kept awake by nightmares and meetings and all her fears. Until now she hasn't really had the chance to even sit since getting to Omega, what with Cerberus and adjutants and Aria. It's kept the rest of the galaxy at bay, though - an isolated battle. Now it's time to go back to war and everything in her refuses to move.

'Is the whole saviour complex thing getting you down, Shepard?' Aria asks, and there's no bite to it but it leaves its mark on Shepard anyway.

'Don't,' she starts saying, but she doesn't know how to finish the sentence, so she stops.

She's so tired that her muscles ache but she needs to move, she needs to leave Omega for the last time. She needs to stop thinking in 'lasts'. She stands and reaches for her helmet and gloves but doesn't have time to grab them before Aria's hand is back on hers, gripping her wrist firmly enough to make her breath catch.

'Don't what?' Aria says, her tone casual, but Shepard can feel the danger hiding just out of sight.

She shakes her head but doesn't move, and neither does Aria, and for a moment everything feels suspended, like time and gravity have ceased. Like a dream. Shepard wonders if she's fallen asleep, but Aria's skin is warmer than hers and Aria's thumb is pressed right against her pulse point. Shepard's heart races, traitorous and loud, and she has no idea what's happening, no idea what she's doing. She's used to stand-offs with Aria but she's also used to knowing what they entail.

'Don't what, Shepard?' Aria asks, again, and Shepard is so close to her face, only the bar between them, that she can see the flicker of exhaustion hiding in the corner of Aria's eyes.

She still doesn't know the answer, so she shrugs and says the only thing she can say and hope it brings the point across. 'I'm tired.'

Aria doesn't let go and Shepard can read her even less than usual. 'And?'

'And can we leave the bickering for later?' Shepard says, all too aware that the tiredness is giving her words a petulant note.

Aria keeps looking at her and Shepard doesn't know what she wants. She's got nothing else to give, so she looks away first, turns her gaze to a side. She notes the damage her shotgun's left on the ceiling and wonders if this is one of those random details she'll remember at the end. Aria's grip on her wrist tightens and the action regains her full attention.

'I wasn't aware there's going to be a later,' Aria says, and Shepard is always aware of the finality of everything but she hates hearing it anyway.

She tries to snatch her hand away, but Aria smirks at her attempt, and Shepard does what she always does. She acts on impulse, jumping and hoping for the best. She presses her forehead to Aria's, her free hand finding its way to the curve of Aria's neck. The tension that's built between them snaps and twists like unleashed biotics and Shepard won't back down from it. She's too tired to care. She's running out of time.

Shepard expects to be blasted to the other side of the club. She doesn't expect Aria's hand in her hair. Time disintegrates in the space between them and Shepard really must be dreaming but she can feel everything. There's a tightness in her chest that's asking for all the things she can't have.

'I don't understand you hero types,' Aria says, and there's an edge to her voice that Shepard can't identify.

'But hero is exactly your type,' she counters with a whisper, because every sound feels amplified. This is familiar territory. This, she can do. The smile Aria gives her is dangerous, but it's nowhere near as lethal as her proximity, and Shepard's never been wise enough to run from annihilation.

The triumph she feels at the surprised sound Aria makes when Shepard kisses her is quickly overshadowed by the way Aria kisses her back. The hand in her hair pulls her head back while the hand on her wrist pulls her closer, the bar digging into the armour. They kiss each other like it's the last time and Shepard wants to be consumed by this, wants there to be nothing else but this. Somewhere in the distance, her crew waits for her to save them, like the galaxy does, and for a moment, for just one moment, she doesn't care.

There's nothing refined or elegant about this. Shepard's desperation has no time for finesse and Aria is not the type to leave fires unstoked. Shepard has been starving to feel something other than hollowness and futility for too long to be restrained and she's aware that she must look ridiculous, half-splayed over a ruined bar, but she doesn't care. Sounds she's never made are tearing themselves from her and spilling into Aria's mouth, but she doesn't care. Let Aria think of her as a weak and wanton human. Right now, they are equals. Right now, she feels alive.

‘There’s profit in survival,’ Aria says, later, an offer masked as a parting shot as Shepard starts to walk away. They both know that Shepard can’t run, but Shepard allows herself the illusion for another stolen moment. The thought of disappearing is tempting - she could discover other galaxies, let this one save itself for once. She could live without being so intrinsically aware of how close she is to the end of it all.

Instead, she clings to the warmth she can still feel in her hands, presses her fingers to her lips like she can trace the memory of Aria’s mouth on her, lets Aria sees the movement. She doesn’t offer a goodbye before she leaves. Finality can wait.

#my writing #femshep x aria #femslash #mass effect fic #i just love them a lot #and also katie #patreon

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i-live-in-a-yellow-submarine · 4 years

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Ultimate Beatlemania Tag!

Right off the bat, thank you so much to @johns-prince for tagging me! It took me forever to get around to filling this out, but I did it! I kind of don’t know people though so I don’t really know who I’d tag...I’ll just throw @toughbaby-buggybaby in because why not, you can do this if you want!

Anyway, this is gonna be a long post, so prepare yourself if you decide to read this.

How long have you been a fan?:

Okay well this is a little complicated to answer properly, but I’ll do my best. I’ve been listening to their music ever since I was little, and I’ve always adored it. The only problem was that I was either too young to think “Oh, this is The Beatles, I like them a lot!” or I just had no clue that it was them. I have that problem with a lot of bands that I’m into now actually. My dad always forgot to tell me “Oh by the way, you’re listening to insert band name here,” so now I’m catching up.

But if we’re talking about when I decided to sell my soul to these four dorks then it was about a year ago. I got really into their music because of some family members that had come visiting for the holidays, and they were all about The Beatles. One of my cousins would play their songs for me on the piano, as well as some of Paul’s solo work. After that I went in a spiral of just investing myself in them, so now they own my life.

Favorite Beatle:

How dare you make me choose. I love them all and refuse to pick between them-

Really though, I adore each of them so much and it’s really hard for me to make a concrete decision, especially since I tend to go through phases. I always conclude with George though because I just relate to him the most personality wise and admire him in a lot of ways, plus I think he’s gorgeous.

Favorite era for music:

I assume we’re talking about their specific eras in their own music? I hope that’s what this question is. If not, I personally like music from the 60s to the 80s, kind of bleeding into the 90s.

For the bug boys specifically, I think at the moment I’d have to go with everything.

Favorite era for lewks:

Again, if we’re talking about in general, I honestly don’t have an answer?? I’m not into fashion whatsoever, I just walk around wearing hoodies and jeans no matter what. The extent of my fashion knowledge is me seeing something I like and thinking “nice.”

For The Beatles, I honestly don’t know either. I thought they usually looked good in one way or another, (with a few exceptions that we’ll be getting to, don’t you worry) though I’ll always have a soft spot for their moptop era because they just looked adorable all the time. Also, those four looked amazing during their teddy boy days. I’m weak for teddy boy John and George.

Favorite song:

This is a really hard question to answer because I have so many favorites but I’ll try anyway.

This Boy is what I’m gonna start with, because oh my goodness it’s beautiful. John’s voice makes me feel so many things in that song, plus the harmonies behind it are just- mwah. Amazing. Along with that, In My Life never ceases to make me emotional for pretty much the same reasons, and the lyrics of course. The acoustic (???) version of While My Guitar Gently Weeps also has the same effect and I can’t deal with it.

When I’m Sixty Four has always been a favorite of mine from the start. A big part is because I’m a biased clarinet player and love every bit of it, plus Paul’s vocals in that one are so crisp and clear and I can’t handle it. And while we’re on the topic of Sgt Pepper, I also love With A Little Help From My Friends. I always get so happy when I hear Ringo’s voice, and this is one of my favorite songs that he sang.

Probably an unpopular choice for a favorite, but I’ve always really liked For You Blue??? I don’t know why, it just makes me laugh and all giddy for some reason. Honey Pie has the same effect on me as well. That song makes me bounce around like I’m a little kid again, and I adore it. It’s pretty much the same with Martha My Dear too, and also it makes me think of Martha which is always great.

I’m also a fan of their solo work and still branching off into it, but I really like Somedays, Blood From A Clone, and I Know (I Know).

Sorry I went on a tangent I just really appreciate music-

Favorite Album:

I’ll try not to rant on this one because again, I love them all. But uhhhhh, the first album I listened to all the way through (and also the first original record I received, my prized possession) was Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. It holds a special place in my heart for that reason, on top of it just being all around amazing. But if you asked me to pick one album that I had to stick with for the rest of my life, right now I’d have to go with Let It Be or The White Album.

Unpopular/Controversial Beatles opinion:

Oh boy, I don’t want to go into details very much because I don’t feel like it, but I’d have to say my belief that the Lennon-McCartney relationship was romantic in some way. I know that one is controversial because…I mean just take a look around.

A song everyone loves but you dislike:

I honestly don’t know really, I don’t think I dislike any of their stuff, or at least I can’t think of any at the current moment. I don’t have many people that I can get opinions about their songs from, but I do know that I don’t go crazy over Yesterday like some people do. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a pretty song, I just have others I prefer much more than it.

A song everyone dislikes but you love:

Again, I don’t really know what songs people collectively love and don’t. I do know that when I listened to Lady Madonna with my mom for the first time, I was absolutely vibing and she was not having it. My step dad wasn’t either, and it’s the same situation with The Long And Winding Road. Those are just between three people’s opinions but shhh-

Your fantasy involving The Beatles:

Gosh, if I were able to have met those four and been one of their friends, it would just be a dream come true. Talking to them and just spending time with them is something I wish I could do, just to be there with those brilliant humans would be amazing. I admire each of them for different reasons, and if I got the chance to have been their friend for years, I could die and be happy.

Tell us about the moment you knew you were a fan:

Looping back to what I said at the start, I’ve technically been a fan of their music since I was a little kid. But talking about the time I unknowingly handed my soul to them, I’d have to say around my last birthday.

A while back I was - and still am - all about the Legend Of Zelda franchise. I’d finished up all the manga that I’d bought based off the games, and wondered if I could find other stuff to read that was like it. Then the world of fanfiction showed itself to me and I just thought “Oh boy, this is a bad idea, but who cares, I want content.”

Fast forward to the point where I was really into The Beatles musically. I wanted to know more about the actual people making the music, so during the process of learning more about them, I remembered the deep and dark depths of fanfiction websites. Thus, I discovered that McLennon was a thing and immediately needed to know why. I literally read my first McLennon fanfic on my birthday.

Basically a month later I’d fallen completely in love with these four guys, their music, and McLennon.

Did you ever have a genuine ‘The Beatles suck!’ phase before becoming a fan?:

Oh no, I could never! This band had been drilled into my mind as one of the greatest of all time by multiple family members, so I just went with it. My dad would talk about them and I’d find them fascinating, even though I was much younger. In fact, I have a fuzzy memory of him driving my brother and I to the beach one time many years back, and he was talking about Norwegian Wood. He never actually told me that was the name, so I forgot shortly after. Then a couple years go by and I’m listening to it for the first time in who knows how long and go “Wait! That’s the song he was talking about!”

Favorite Beatles Book:

I actually haven’t read any yet, but I really want to. I’ve been thinking about getting both of John’s because I’ve heard that they’re quite entertaining for the right people, and based on what I have read from them, I think I’d really like them. I would love to get more after that, but that’s where I’d start.

Thoughts on the old generation of fans:

Having family members that fit in that category, I don’t have any problem with them at all. I mean, they were there during the time of The Beatles, and they always have interesting things to say about them and fun stories to tell. In my own experiences some of them can be a bit condescending with their views and opinions because they were alive during the time, but I know that not all the people in that generation are like that.

If Hollywood were to make a high budget Beatles biopic, what is one thing you desperately hope they include?:

Lots of things really. If I had to go with one, I really would want them to show just how much those four loved and cared for each other, especially the bond between Paul and John. I feel like the breakup, which is a very complicated topic in it of itself, tinted the media’s view to the point where some people believe that they hated each other, which is far from the truth.

I assume they would get their personalities right?? But if that’s something high budget biopics don’t guarantee, then that too. I just want to see their lives done right, with the important factors and people in their lives shown in the right light too. I know that’s a lot to ask of a biopic and probably will never happen, but I can dream.

Do you read/write fanfic?:

Yes, I do both. I wanted to become a better writer and artist, so I use The Beatles and other fandoms I’m a part of as a creative outlet in that sense. There are also so many amazing creators out there that I adore, so why would I not pay attention to the great things people have made?

Are you the only one in your family/friend group to enjoy them?:

No, but also yes? It’s kind of weird actually. Family wise, I have a lot of family members that at least like their music, so I can talk to them when it comes to that. But when it comes to the boys as people, I really don’t have many family members who know much or care. I can rant to my mom because she just takes it all in even though she doesn’t have a clue what I’m talking about, and I infected my brother with Beatlemaniac as well, so now his favorite is Ringo and we talk about them a lot with each other.

Friends wise, I have two that enjoy them. My closest friend is a musician and music is really important in her family, so she’s been listening to a number of bands since she was basically a baby. I talk to her about anything and everything, which also means I rant about everything involving The Beatles. As far as I know, she doesn’t mind and likes talking about the McLennon tea. The other loves all music and she’s been listening to some of their stuff since she was young as well, but it was when I was getting really invested in The Beatles that she also did.

Are you a shipper?:

Yes, yes, and yes.

Addressing McLennon first, I don’t necessarily see it as only a ship, I believe that those two were in a romantic relationship of some kind. But I’ll save those opinions for just a little bit-

Of course when roaming around in the fanfiction world for that good McLennon content, I was bound to find other ships. Obviously my heart belongs to McLennon, so I can’t see Paul or John in any other relationship. As a result of that, I found comfort in Starrison and think it’s precious, though that’s purely just a ship in my book, so I love and put their friendship first. It definitely doesn’t fall into the same boat as McLennon for me.

Favorite movie starring/made by them?:

Over the past few months I fell in love with Yellow Submarine, which I am going to make count in terms of this question because it’s quality content. I love the humor, the artwork, the designs, the story, the music, everything. I just love it all.

Do you believe in McLennon?:

I’m sure you know the answer to that by now.

General opinions on McLennon?:

This post could go on forever if I actually let myself say everything I wanted to. I’ll try to keep it brief because I’ve rambled for long enough as is.

As I already stated, I have a firm believe that McLennon was real. No, is real. Paul shows his love for John to this day, and I’m sure John is reciprocating it wherever he is right now. Everything that they went through together just takes me on the most emotional rollercoaster to ever exist.

I was in the middle of making a list of just all the little things about their amazing relationship, but I realized there were so many that I could fill books about it all, and there would still be so much that we don’t know about. In the end, what John and Paul had was theirs, and the glimpses of it that we’ve been lucky enough to see are beautiful, heartbreaking, and everything in between. The love they shared lives on in the music they created, and I’m just glad to be able to experience it in that way.

If you got to change ONE thing about their history, what would it be and why?:

Oh this is a hard one for sure. I think if I were able to change something, it would be how the breakup played out. Altering factors in their lives so that they had been able to communicate with each other (specifically John and Paul) properly so they were on the same page with each other in what they needed and wanted probably would have softened the blow of the breakup for them, if it were to even happen.

Preventing the alcohol and substance abuse that was dealt with during that time and onward would most definitely have made things better as well, along with everything that happened with John’s association with Yoko. If they had just been able to keep their issues under control with help from people qualified to do so, I think things would have turned out much better for all of them. Then again, it’s such a complicated topic and there are so many things we could change for the better that I don’t have a set way to answer the question.

What song has the best vocals?:

I’m about to go on a tangent again, sorry-

I love the vocals for When I’m Sixty Four. Everything just sounds so clean in that song. I also really love how Paul sounds in Michelle and She’s Leaving Home, with the background feeling all calm so his voice kind of pops.

Girl leaves me feeling like a puddle and I don’t know how to handle it. It’s a similar situation with Do You Want To Know A Secret and This Boy too. The vocals just make me feel things.

John’s voice in Across The Universe and Julia sounds so sweet and sincere, and it always calms me down. I don’t really know why I love it so much, I just think the vocals are wonderful and almost insecure.

I think my favorite performance vocals wise has to be If I Fell though. The way Paul and John’s voices blend perfectly shows prominently in this song, and it’s absolutely beautiful.

What song do you feel had no effort put into it?:

Los Paranoias, but I don’t care and vibe to it anyway.

What is a well talked about moment in Beatles history that you genuinely believe to be false?:

I’ve been thinking really hard about this question but I can’t really think of one off the top of my head that holds much significance. I know there are plenty, but how glorified John and Yoko’s relationship was just seems so artificial to me the majority of the time. I know that isn’t really a moment per say, but it’s the only thing I could think of.

What is something you KNOW to be true, but often gets erased in their history?:

The biggest one that comes to mind right now is definitely the majority of the things involving Yoko throughout the breakup of the band up until John’s death. Honestly, I’ve read and thought about it so much that I just don’t really feel like going into much detail, but in general a lot of the things Yoko did seem to be brushed under the rug.

Least favorite look from a Beatle(s):

Need I say more?

Really though, I don’t have a care for the facial hair John and Paul had in 67, and again later on with their beards. I think they just looked better without it, when you can see their whole face. There’s also the underlying struggles they were dealing with at the time that brought on those messy looks, which makes me more sad than anything.

Favorite look from a Beatle(s):

I’m just gonna list my favorites for each of them and then my favorite pictures or gifs of them because why not.

How I Won The War John is beautiful and I can’t explain why, he just has that special something. I also have a thing for 64-66 John in hats-

Honestly everything from 63-66 is great for Paul. He looked pretty much the same to me during that time period, just with his hair gradually getting longer.

He also had his moments in 67, after he got rid of the mustache (that’s how I feel about John in 67 too)

I could go ahead and say just about everything for George honestly because I’m weak for him. But to pick absolute favorites, then I’d go with 65, 67, and The Rooftop Concert.

I absolutely adore 63 and 64 Ringo to no end. He was just adorable no matter what.

For the whole group together, I think my favorites would be their Shea Staduim or A Hard Day’s Night looks. They make my heart melt.

Anyway, that was a lot of rambling and I definitely didn’t need to write as much as I did, but what can you do? Thank you again for the tag! On the off chance that anyone sees this and wants to do it, go ahead! Peace and Love <3

#tag games!#any gifs in this do not belong to me! I don’t remember who made them sorry :<

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fangirl-inthe-us · 5 years

Text

Querencia Pt. 1

Gif not mine

Summary: Pregnant and alone, you stumble upon a man in the middle of a quarry. You save him from a walker. It all happens fast, but you are in labor and the man you just saved claims to know someone who can help. Will you accept his help or turn the other way?

Querencia - (n.) A place where one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self.

Author’s Note: Oh my gosh! It’s done! I’m going to be writing this part by part. So, don’t expect the next part anytime soon. Since finals are coming and I have so much homework. I will try to write as much as I can though! I am going to warn you, I do not know anything about pregnancies. If there is anything that isn’t right, I'm sorry. I tried my best. Also, I took some creative liberty. The timing in the show is off, but I don’t think that matters a whole bunch. It really isn’t much. Anyways, please enjoy!

Warnings: Pregnancy, swearing, violence blood, my grammar.

Word Count: 4.2k

Series Parts: Part 1, Part 2,

I was walking through the woods. Not going in any particular direction. I was just moving. The dead were somehow living and I was petrified. I thought my life was a mess before, but that was when I had a reliable food source and a bed to sleep in. Man, do I miss my bed. Also, warm showers. I’d kill for a warm shower.

My swollen belly had started to growl. Food had been scarce and I was beginning to worry. It wouldn’t have been such a big problem if I wasn’t nine months pregnant. I could force myself to go days without food. But because I was growing a human being inside me, I didn’t want to risk anything and I tried to do everything I could.

When the world had ended, my boyfriend, Derek, always took care of food, shelter, and the dead. Unfortunately, things got complicated when we found out I was pregnant. It must have happened right before the dead started walking. Regardless of when it happened, I needed more food than usual and it made scavenging for food a lot more grueling.

A month after we found out about the baby, My boyfriend was bitten. He was caught while in a grocery store after he had let his guard down. When the time came, he shot himself in the head. I can remember the exact conversation we had before he did it.

“You need to go. I have to do this.”

“No!” Tears were flowing from my eyes as I shook my head vigorously, “You can’t. I need you. We need you.” I made the statement as I rubbed my stomach.

“You know what happens. I’m bit and the only thing I will be doing will be taking a bite out of you. I know how strong you are and I know you can make it. I love you, both of you. Now go. I don’t want you seeing this. Just leave me.”

I was about to object, but he gave me a look and I knew that there was nothing I could say or do to stop this from happening. I closed my eyes took and took a deep breath in. I let myself feel the emotions for a couple of seconds then I breathed out. I opened my eyes and got a look at Derek one last time.

Then, hastily, I am turning around and grabbing all our supplies. With a hand on my belly, I am walking forward. I didn’t know where to go so I just went straight.

My protruding stomach was still growling when I came across a small cabin in the woods. As I approached it, the building looked to be untouched. The door was intact and closed. Everything around the cabin was overgrown and there were plants hanging on the siding of the house.

I pulled the hunting knife I had attached to my hip and readied myself for anything. Quietly, I walked to the door and attempted to open it. Nothing happened. The door was locked. That was a good sign.

As inconspicuous and quiet as possible, I crept toward the front window. The curtains were drawn so I couldn’t see what was inside. With my knife in hand, I carefully switched the windows lock. I slid the window open with no problem and clambered into the cabin.

Upon first glance, there wasn’t anything alarming. The room had what a typical living room had in it. No dead to be seen. I meandered into the small intryway still not seeing anything that could remotely be a threat. Making my way to the next room I didn’t see nor hear anything remotely dangersome. I made sure to sneak through the entire house and still didn’t find anything.

When I considered the cabin safe, I was going straight to the kitchen. It was small and had all the essentials. Nothing jumped out at me. That was until I saw the walk-in pantry. I ripped open the door and cried out in happiness. There were two cans of soup among a bunch of spoiled food. I grabbed both cans and shoved them into my bag.

Walking out, the first thing I did was open all the cabinets. I came up empty. I wasn’t even going to attempt to open the refrigerator. I made that mistake once. Never again.

Before I left the house, I did another walkthrough. Halfway through my walkthrough, I found a door. Wow, my observation skills never cease to amaze me. I opened the door and saw some stairs leading to a basement. I closed my eyes and sighed. I really didn’t want to go down into the creepy basement but if there was a chance that there was food down there, I had to go.

I tried the light switch in hopes that it would work. I didn’t. So I pulled out a flashlight and tried to be as sneaky as possible. I hadn’t checked this area and for all I know, there could be a group of geeks hiding down there.

Once I had made it to the bottom of the stairs, I swept my eyes around my surroundings. At first glance, I didn’t notice any dead. What I did notice, was that there was a lot of furniture which meant a lot of places for the undead to hide.

I went around checking for any possible threats. Behind a couch, under a desk, any possible hidey-hole could house a living corpse. Checking behind a box, there was a groan coming from the unchecked room. I was instantly ready for an attack. Nothing came. I walked closer to the little room.

What I found was a depressing sight. My eyes were trained to the figure dangling from a ceiling fan. Half of what used to be the man was awkwardly laying on the ground. The other half was wildly jerking towards me. It’s arms outstretched while it wildly attempted to grab me.

I wasn’t going to risk cutting it down. There was no point it’s not like it was hurting anyone. So, I just left it there to rot. Moving on from the putrid sight, I continued on my search for more food. With a thorough job, I found one pack of sunflower seeds and one king size pack of Reese's cups. They were hidden away in a desk drawer.

I made my way out of the cabin and prepared myself for another journey to nowhere. I was getting really sick of a neverending destination. I wanted a place to stay. A place to call home. Unfortunately, there was no place like that anymore. Places like that are fairytales now.

~~~~~~~~~~

It’d been a few days since I had found the little cabin in the woods and I was moving closer to Atlanta. Or at least that’s what the road signs were telling me. I knew that I would have to change my route. I haven’t seen how bad the cities were, but I could imagine. I didn’t want to be anywhere near that.

Recently, I had been making camp closer to the woods. I think that is because in the woods there is a reliable food source. Fortunately, I had found a survival book in a house I raided a few days ago. The most important thing it taught me was how to make a snare. Now I have been testing my skills out and I happened to catch two rabbits.

At the moment I was walking to a snare I made the night before. It was hard trying to trapeze through the foliage on the forest floor. Especially since I was pregnant. Successfully, I had made it to my snare. Bending down, I found that I was unlucky in my attempt to catch dinner. With a sigh, I decided to move on.

Surprisingly, I had been going at a decent pace for a pregnant woman. I’m pretty sure in three hours I had walked at least six miles. I could feel my feet beg for a break. Also, I was sure that there were blisters starting to form on my feet.

When I came across a car, I decided this was a good place as any to take a break. I sat down so my back rested against the tire. Leaning my head back, I let my eyes closed and allow my body to relax. This probably wasn’t a good idea, since it was out in the open. Well, I have my shotgun beside me, so I’m covered if something comes out to eat or attack me.

While I soak up the sun, I realize how taxing everything has been on my body. Lifting my hand I lay it on my protruding belly. After a moment I feel a little kick. I moved my hand lower to feel the mini human inside me. A smile spread across my lips. That was until I heard a loud shout.

My eyes shot open. I survey the area around me. There is no visible threat. I focus on the sounds around me. Nothing out of the ordinary was heard. Then there’s another shout. This time it sounded more like a cry of pain. I debated in my head whether to go see if the person needed help or if this was a trap.

I decide to throw caution to the wind. Okay, maybe not entirely. I crept through the woods toward where I thought I heard the shout. The closer I get the more I start to hear a mumbling.

“I ain’t nobody's bitch.” Is the only coherent thing I hear. I silently chuckle.

I stopped right behind a tree. Leaning to the side, I witness what was going on. There was a man laying on the ground. He looked half dead. He had some sort of head wound and an arrow sticking out of his side. I glance at the space above him. From the looks of it, the man fell off the cliff above. As he fell he must’ve fallen on his arrow.

Suddenly, a dead emerges and I watch as it starts stumbling his way towards the man. I attempted to get the delirious man’s attention, but it was to no avail. He doesn’t hear me and the dead fell on his knees and started attacking the stranger's feet.

I stepped out and shouted at the monster. The dead’s head whipped toward me as the man laying on the ground comes to his senses. I surged forward, toward the growling monstrosity and sunk my knife into its skull. The dead dropped to the ground instantly.

Through this entire event, I had begun to hyperventilate. With all this stress, I notice a few changes with my body. A sharp pain shot through my abdomen and my eyes became blurry. The pain was like a cramp but ten times worse than what I was used to. I cried out in pain.

The man in front of me looked like he wanted to say something but suddenly glanced behind me. His face morphed into one of panic. He scrambled to gather something but I wasn’t paying much attention.

I bent over because the pain was too much. With my hands on my knees, I tried to calm my breathing. Thankfully, my vision was clearing and I noticed that a dark trail had traveled down my pants. It suddenly hits me. I am in labor and my water just broke.

I hadn't ever thought of what would happen when it was time for the baby to come. I assumed I’d end up dead before then. It’s a morbid thought, but a realistic one. Yet here I am with a man who can barely stand while in the middle of who knows where. This is no place to have a baby. The man next to me probably doesn’t know how to birth a child.

During my panic attack, The man next me to jumped into action. I was watching in horror as he painfully pulled the arrow from his side. My brows furrowed and my head tilted. What the hell is he doing? As the thought crossed my mind, I heard a growl from behind me. My head turned to look behind me. There, ever so quickly, is a dead making it’s way toward my figure.

I stumble back with a gasp. My hand goes protectively toward my stomach. In an instant, the dead drops to the ground with an arrow deeply implanted in its brain. I whirled back to where the half-dead man was. Just as my eyes landed on him, he lowered his crossbow.

“Who the hell are you?” He asks as he watches my trembling form.

“Someone who is about to birth a baby.”

“Well, shit.” His eyes ran across my body for any signs. Landing on my pants, he saw the trail down my pants. “Shit, ya ain’t kiddin’”

“Do you happen to know how to deliver a baby?” I figured I might try.

“The hell I do. Do I look like someone who can?” The man was swaying as he grumbled.

“Are you the only one? Is there anyone you know who could help me?” I asked hopefully.

The man just grumbled and kicked some sand up. I watched as he had an internal battle. Finally, he walked up to me and grabbed my arm.

“I got someone back at my camp who can help, but there’s a problem. We’re stuck in this damn area an’ we need ta be up there.” The man pointed to the cliff above us.

“I know of a road not too far from here. We could find it and maybe find a way to you’re camp.”

“A’ight,”

“Can I ask you one thing?” The man just grunted, “What’s your name?”

The man glowered at me, but then noticed what state I was in. His eyes softened. “The name’s Daryl Dixon, yours?”

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N). Nice to meet you, Daryl Dixon.”

I lead Daryl in the direction that I had come from. There were a few dead that Daryl had to take out. The contractions were painful but they were still far apart. I had some hope that I could make it to Dayrl’s camp.

Successfully directing Daryl, I stumbled through the last bit of shrubbery. I turned to him with a proud look on my face. He looked at me with a passive face but a hint of something behind his eyes. My proud smirk must’ve come off as a grimace from my contractions.

“Okay, so. Where do we go now?” I grunted out as the pain lingered.

“‘s not too far from here. You walked in a straight enough path tha’ I can find our way back.” That was all the words spoke before he walked off to my right. I followed Daryl as best as I could and we had somehow come across a hill that was climbable. Which would have been a breeze for anyone who wasn’t pregnant.

I struggled quite a bit and Daryl did little to help me. I think he was getting fed up. Once I had gotten myself up the hill, I eyed the man in front of me. There must have been a few dead because he had a necklace of their ears hanging from his neck. I raised my eyebrows and he just grunted and started walking again.

It was a while later when Daryl was stopping again. He dropped the things that he was holding except for his crossbow. I stood there in confusion. What on earth is the man doing now? He would stop every once in a while just to listen. I knew that he was listening for any dead. Or walkers, as he likes to call them. This time it was different.

“What are you doing?

“Goin’ ta get us some grub. Wait here.” Without another word, he was walking off.

I sighed and carefully sat down. The contraction that shot through me didn’t help either. Taking a few breaths, I leaned against the tree behind me.

I had laid there for what had to be twenty minutes before anything exciting happened. Suddenly, There was a rustle in the bushes beside me. As soon as I heard it, I was grabbing for my weapon. Daryl came bursting out of the bushes with two squirrels.

Instantly, I notice the blood covering his mouth. His hands were covered in the red liquid too. What did he do while he was out there?

“The the hell happened to you?”

“Nothin’. I got us some squirrels.”

“What do you mean nothing? You’re covered in blood.”

“Calm down woman. I ate mine already.”

“Raw?”

“No, I took the time to cook it while I let you and the little cub starve.”

“There’s no need for the sarcasm. Just… hand over the squirrel.”

“What? No. I’ll cook it for ya’. He set the squirrels down and began to grab sticks, “‘s not a big deal. you don’t have to eat yours raw.”

After that, the conversation was finished. I watched as the man gathered some sticks for a small fire. While all this is going on, I am sitting rubbing my belly and watching. I looked away when Daryl began to skin the squirrels.

Daryl had finished skinning the squirrels and put it over the fire. I remember when I used to get sick at the smell of cooked meat. It was sometime after I found out that I was pregnant. I hated every minute of it.

Breaking me out of my thoughts, a stick was waved in my face. I looked up to see that Daryl had fully cooked the meat to his satisfaction. We didn’t even know who I was and he was already watching out for me. That could also be because I was pregnant and he was generally a decent human being that didn’t want to hurt a pregnant woman’s baby.

I ate quickly, I knew that there wasn’t much time to waist. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that when a baby is ready to come out, it’s ready to come out.

I tossed the stick in a random direction and attempted to get up. Suddenly, there was a hand on my arm and I was being helped up. Turning to Daryl, I flashed him a thankful smile. All I got back was a low grunt. We gathered our things and got back to walking.

~~~~~~~~

Groaning in pain, I wondered how much time had passed. It felt like it had been hours. I noticed as we walked that my contractions were getting closer and closer. I was beginning to worry that we weren’t going to make it.

Ahead of me, Daryl stopped. I looked at him in confusion. He held his hand up and looked me dead in the eyes. I broke his stare as a sharp contraction hit me. His eye softened for a split second.

“I don’ know how my people are gonna react ta ya, so I want ya ta wait here until I give ya a signal ta come out.”

“Alright.” I gave a simple nod.

As the man stumbled through the trees, he stopped to look back at me. Did he really need to check if I was staying where I was? I tried to smile, but another contraction hit me. They were really close now and I had a feeling it was about time.

Suddenly, I was brought out of my thoughts. I heard shouting from behind the forest trees. From the sound of it, they weren’t happy. After a moment the shouting stopped.

“Is that Daryl?” I heard through the foliage.

“That’s the third time you’ve pointed that thing at my head.” Daryl didn’t sound happy. “Ya gonna pull the trigger or what?”

In a sudden wave of emotion, I emerged from behind the trees. The only one who could get me medical help could potentially end up getting shot and I wasn’t going to let that happen.

“Please don’t!” I yelled as I staggered toward the group surrounding Daryl. As I made my way to Daryl, but before anything else could happen there was a bang and Daryl fell to the ground, “No!” I yelled.

As the men made their way to the, now, unconscious man, a pain like no other shot through me and I all came to me. The baby was coming.

The men were not, only screaming at the people quickly approaching us, but were attempting to get me moving toward what looked like a farmhouse. I was in a weird state. It was like I wasn’t there and I couldn’t get a hold of my breathing. Also, it was like I was floating above watching the action, and watching as it happened.

“Someone help me. This one is in some sort of shock and it’s making carrying her difficult.” The man who was talking was young. He had a blad head and a mean looking face. Maybe it was a frustrated one. I couldn’t tell what emotions were. I was too deep in shock.

~~~~~~~

I was being tapped on the cheek and my eye focused on an old man above me. I then realized that I was in a room and on a bed. When did I get here?

“Sweetheart, I’m gonna need you to be present for this. In a few seconds, I’m gonna need you to push. Can you do that?” Slowly coming back, I nodded at the man.

There was screaming. I looked around to see who it was, but I soon realized that it was me. That was when the pain came back and it hurt. It hurt so bad. It felt like, well, that there was a baby pushing its way out of me.

My lower regions were burning as the baby was forcing his way through. I squeezed my eyes and my hands shut. My muscles contract in pain. That was when I realized that there was someone's hand in mine.

I opened my eyes to see who, and I saw it was a woman. A young woman. She had short brown hair and concerned eyes. She was about to say something but the elderly man spoke up.

“Alright, you’re ready. Now push.”

It took an hour and a half. In an instant, I am crying in joy as my newborn make their first cry. As they wrap my little angel, I laid back, exhausted. I was filled with so many emotions as my tears rolled down my face. When the woman who was holding my hand came over with my baby, I tried to collect myself. I had grabbed the reigns on my emotions and the woman handed me, my child.

“Congratulations, you have a baby boy.” There was a wide smile on her face as she watched my son involuntary ball his hands up.

The little man was still covered in blood and other fluids, but I didn’t care. I was too focused on his features. He had a mix of mine and Derek’s features. While I admire his face, I rub my finger against his tiny cheek.

“Edmund Joseph (Y/LN). That’s his name.” I stated as I smiled at my baby.

“I like it.” A teenager leaning against the doorway voiced.

I moved my attention to the girl. Her gaze was on Edmund. She had a large smile on her face and a little bit of longing in her eyes. She must’ve wanted a child. This world took that chance away from her.

“Bethie, what are you doing in here? I thought you were helping Carol with Daryl’ stitches?” Beth looked at the woman at my side.

“We got that done a long time ago. I could hear what was going on and when it all finally calmed down, I thought I’d come in to get a peek at the little one.”

The other woman was about to answer back, but before she could I spoke up. “No, it’s okay. You wanna see him?” As soon as I asked Beth’s eyes lit up.

“Can I?”

“You know what?” The woman beside me interjected, “Why doesn’t Beth take the little one and We let you get some well-earned sleep? You look exhausted and you, mama, really need sleep after all that work.”

Before I could say anything back, the woman was giving me a stern look and I conceded. Suddenly, I did feel really tired. I guess I could get a little sleep. From the way Daryl acted towards these people, I figured I could trust them. If they wanted to hurt me and my baby they would’ve done it by now.

I handed Edmund to the woman and she carefully took him into her arms. I realized that I never learned her name, “Hey, I didn't quite get your name.”

Her eyes crinkled as she smiled yet again, “The names Maggie, Maggie Greene.”

“Mine’s (Y/N) (/L/N). Thank you for helping me.”

“It was no problem. Now you get some sleep and I’ll clean this little guy.” I smiled as she walked out with my son in her arms.

Leaning back, I rested my head against the pillow. I had to shift into a more comfortable position which resulted in pain to shoot into my nether regions. I groaned but finally settled not wanting to cause any more pain. As I laid there, my eyelids began to droop. The exhaustion fully settled in and my eyes closed.

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homosociallyyours · 4 years

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OH MY GOD DID I MISS YOUR BDAY?! IS IT STILL YOUR BDAY?!?!!? WHAAA!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVELY WONDERFUL SPECTACULAR SOULPAL!!! it literally never ceases to amaze me how many niche interests, lived and imagined experiences we share though we supposedly grew up at different times on opposite sides of the globe. STRANGE! anyways, despite this, you ALSO manage to every day teach me more about kindness, creativity and wit. i’ll never know how to properly thank you for that! love yooou! 💕❤️🌸💃🏻🌈

OHHH Eli <3 <3 <3

we truly are soulpals and it’s so damn beautiful!! i am certain that at one point we really were part of the same person, and whenever we meet face to face it’s gonna feel like a reunion more than a first meeting.

I am so lucky to know you!!! And as I said to someone else, my birthday is extended this year bc as we have all realized: time is a meaningless human construct!

#my birthday #lovely mutuals #this message is so so wonderful #just thank you and i love you ok #gaycousinlarry #answers

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thevictoryofthepeople · 6 years

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HELLO! TODAY MARKS MY SIX-YEAR ANNIVERSARY ON THIS BLOG ( 6/1/2018 ) AND TO CELEBRATE HERE IS A FOLLOW FOREVER ( I haven't done this in a while so excuse the lame graphic ). I honestly cannot believe that I've had this blog for so long. I've had a lot of downs here but I've also had my fair share of ups. After my year hiatus, I had honestly thought I would be shutting this blog down for good because a lot of things were going wrong but I'm so glad I didn't because I got to meet more amazing people along with the partners who've managed to stick by my side for so long. Besides having a follow forever, I wanted to do something special but I'm honestly clueless so I was hoping you all could help me out. I was thinking a Q & A video for the muses and mun, a voice recording of what my muses would sound like in a drabble, a promo/shoutout, a gifset/graphic/photo edit of your muses and mine, and/or drabbles for your muses and mine. You guys can choose which one you want me to do but I will be closing requests by June 8. Anyways, below the cut are people I just want to thank and people who I wish to interact with. I may have forgotten some people so I do apologize. I'm very scatterbrained at times. Okay love you all. Stay wonderful. ~ local smol bean, MC <3

OLDIES BUT GOODIES ( MY WONDERFUL LOVES WHO HAVE BEEN HERE FOR SO LONG )

@qceensofkings - Such a kind person with great muses.We don’t talk much out of character but it doesn’t stop me from loving Nicholas and Isabelle together. They make my heart happy especially during their little cute moments ( like fighting over if pancakes or waffles are better ). You are a wonderful human being and I love seeing you on my dash always. I can’t wait to keep writing more with you

my starlight bestie { @eternallydreamingstar } - BEST FRIEND HI. OKAY SO FIRST OFF I LOVE YOU OKAY YOU’RE SUCH A GREAT FRIEND! MORE THAN I CAN EVER ASK FOR. You were literally the first person after my hiatus who reached out to me again and started to write with me. You gave me the push and motivation to keep on going despite me wanting to give up. I love our plots, I love our characters, and I love the world we’ve created. We’ve been together for so long and I honestly cannot stress how much you mean to me. I love you so much. You’ve have always been there for me and I will continue to always be there for you too. I LOVE YOU STARLIGHT

the longest love { @drew-a-tanaka } - Okay....listen....I think by this point this is going to be repetitive because you’re literally my longest partner ( it’s been like five years ) so you’ve been with me for such a long time and you’ve heard me tell you I love you all the time. I love you okay. I care so much about you more than you could ever know. Thank you for truly caring for me and for helping me. Thank you for writing with me. Thank you for pulling me out of the darkness countless of times. Thank you for cheering me on. Thank you. I love you and I’m always here for you. I will always be here for you.

the wonderful inspiration { @ribbedxgloves } - Um listen, even after all these years I’m still intimidated by you. Like you’re so amazing and all your characters are great and don’t even get me started on your writing. I will never cease to thank you for giving me a chance because without you I don’t think I would have actually grown and improved as a roleplayer. Thank you for being such a wonderful human being. I miss talking to you a lot. But thank you for being a beautiful soul.

SUGAR AND SPICE AND EVERYTHING NICE ( MY DARLING CUTIES WHO ALWAYS MANAGE TO MAKE MY DAY BRIGHTER )

@hadesrebelofadaughter - You honestly are one of the kindest people ever. I don’t think you understand just how much you’ve made my days when you sent me all those encouraging messages and were genuinely interested in my characters. I apologize for my slowness because we don’t get to interact a lot but I do read your threads and you’re such a wonderful writer. You are a bright person so please keep on shining.

@district-one-beauty - Hello, my love. First off, I want to apologize for being the slowest person ever when it comes to replying. Second off, thank you for always messaging me and trying to talk to me. You’re such a kind person. I know things get rough but I’m always here if you need anything. Thank you for blessing my dash and threads with your presence. And thank you for simply being my amazing rp partner. I will do my best to be more responsive, I promise.

@humansxfox - Okay first off, I actually never thought you would actually want to roleplay with me because I am a mere potato who knows nothing and yet you sent me asks and now here we are. Katherine makes me super happy because I love how she just interacts with Nicholas. It gives me a chance to be more creative with him without having to change his backstory or who he is ( this means a lot to me honestly ). You’re honestly such a blessing on my dash and just your presence makes me happy. I wish we could talk more out of character but I’m really shy and weird so I do apologize.

pink candied sky { @leenxna } - MY LOVE MY WONDERFUL HONEY MY DARLING! DUDE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OKAY. LIKE I TRULY LOVE YOU. YOU’RE SO FUCKING AMAZING I CAN’T EVEN EXPRESS HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME. Thank you for putting up with me and thank you for talking to me and just being an overall great person. I love being a dork with you and just talking about everything. You make me so happy. I love that we’ve pretty much established a whole story and it’s pretty great. Thanks for introducing me to great people and thanks for loving my spams. I can honestly write a whole chapter about how amazing you are but I’ll stop for now haha. Okay LOVE YOU.

@hxpxfm - YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON. Like the first time you hopped into my IM, not going to lie, I was really startled because no one has ever truly done that before but DUDE I’M REALLY GLAD YOU DID. You’re so sweet and caring and I just love having conversations with you. I know we haven’t roleplayed yet [ I’M SORRY I’M SO SLOW ] but I’m already excited for our characters to interact. THANK YOU FOR BEING SUCH A BALL OF SUNSHINE.

@killyouhimself - Your presence on my dash makes me so happy. And even though our threads have not progressed yet ( I’M SORRY I’M SO SLOW. Please forgive me. ) I honestly already love them. I love your character so much which is why I’m always reading your threads. You’re an amazing writer and your creativity is truly astounding. I love the interaction between Charon and Sungmin. Thank you for being on my dash and for being such a blessing.

the argentate heart { @atrociity } - OMG SO MANY THINGS TO SAY ABOUT YOU. You make me so soft, okay? Like you’re so cute and adorable and so nice and caring and it’s just like how was I blessed ??? I love Eris so much and the way she interacts with Mak ( also thank you for interacting with him ). Thank you for checking up on me. Honestly if anyone ever fights you, tell me. I will fight them for you. I will literally lay down my morality for you because you are a person who deserves all the love and protection. I love you so much!

the sweetest honey { @busanbunnie } - ANOTHER PEACH. ANOTHER SWEETHEART WHO HAS MANAGED TO MAKE MY DAYS BETTER. YOU ARE SO ADORABLE AND CUTE AND I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU - FROM YOUR BLOG AND TO YOUR PERSONALITY. I love our interactions so so much and I just love talking to you. Thank you for being such a bright light.

@painterlyjongin - HIIIII. Okay listen, I’m actually very intimidated by you and I’m really grateful that you’re writing with me. I love plotting and talking with you always. Your characters are beautiful and you’re a wonderful human being. Every time you appear on my dash, I get very happy. Thank you for giving me the honor of interacting with you.

@beavtiful-liar - I’m always blessed to see you on my dash. I’m always happy when you’re online. I know we don’t interact as much but I’m still grateful that your presence is here. I’m always happy when I read your threads. You’re such a kind person and you deserve so much love and happiness. I don’t know how you managed to keep so many muses and how you manage to be super creative but it’s honestly awe-inspiring. Thank you for being a blessing.

@nobxdyshome - You are such a beautiful soul and I’m really sorry that I’m very slow with replying but with the interactions we’ve had so far, it’s honestly great. I loved plotting with you and talking with you. I always read your threads and you’re so creative and such a great writer. I will always be in awe of you.

@jinxednature - Hiiiii. First off, you are so so so so so so nice. A very, very sweet soul that I have the honor of talking and interacting with you. You are so beautiful and kind and I love your blog and your characters and your creativity. You give my dash a little more sweetness and I will forever be grateful for that.

the bby love { @aroixs } - Will words be enough to convey how much you mean to me? Will it ever truly encompass all my emotions and thoughts? You, my dear, are such a true blessing in my life. You genuinely are such a caring and wonderful person and every time I see a notification from you I honestly get incredibly happy. You care so much and you’re always so kind and thoughtful. Even when you have your own problems to deal with, you manage to have time for me and that is an honor. I love you so much bby. I’m always grateful for you.

my baby doll wife { @moonsiim } - There are too many things to say about you. I can write a whole novel trying to detail out all of the thoughts I have about you but I won’t go overboard. One day I will but not today. I always tell you this: I love you. Every time we talk I always have a smile on my face. Every time you send me something or talk about something you’re passionate or interested about my heart swells with joy because I’m honored that you can share it with me. Your writing leaves me breathless. Your characters leave me gasping for oxygen. You, just you, leaves me in awe. I love you so much and I don’t know how to convey that truly because let’s face it I’m pretty awkward and weird and yet you’ve given me a chance to be part of your life. I will always be grateful for everything you’ve done. I will always be here for anything you need. I will always try to be your ball of sunshine. I truly love you so so much.

ADMIRATION FROM AFAR ( AMAZING BLOGS I WISH I GOT TO INTERACT WITH MORE OR HAVE A CHANCE TO INTERACT WITH BUT I'M TOO SHY AND AWKWARD AND SLOW ...and just a little busy which sucks but one day )

@meirise || @dcpression || @xtaem || @prvttyliars || @elvctrickiss || @sierrcr || @monkeydjong || @boyccld || @divinexlovers || @kingpvns || @nxcturnes ( quick note - I’m honestly in admiration of your writing and you very much intimidate me but I enjoy reading all your threads ) || @lostavra || @strawbxrryblxssxms ( quick note - YOU’RE HONESTLY SUCH A SWEETHEART AND I’M SORRY I HAVEN’T REPLIED YET ) || @seaxofxstrangers || @malvdo || @deitius || @whyhasthemadnessoccured || @130mo2d || @witch-saebyeok ( quick note - I’m sorry for being slow and ALSO I LOVE WINTER’S AND SAEBYEOK’S FRIENDSHIP ALREADY ) || @fatedtobehunted || @survivics ( quick note - I always try to send you an ask or a request to plot and then I get really scared so I don’t but I really wish I could interact with you ) || @ilatiisms ( quick note - I love your character so much and you’re such an amazing writer and I’m very intimidated but one day I will muster up the courage to ask to interact ) || @nocturncx ( quick note - I miss you and I love our interactions and I’m so sorry that I’m really slow with replying. You’re beautiful ) || @telekineticdivinity || @tenxthreex || @orientalskies || @alnowicki || @curious-x || @fclklre || @rousepalette

#out of the darkness {ooc}#creator's scrolls {announcements and trackers}#follow forever #[ i apologize if i missed anyone ]#[ but happy anniversary to me ]#creator's tongue {mc talks}

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