#anyway the show im watching is great everyone is talented but one girl did forget the words and go silent for a whole verse of her solo song

[generationa1trauma]

currently struggling w the concept that the community i so desperately want to be a part of relies heavily on talent and always involves some level of rejection through auditions

[acesofspadess]

Endless Love 8

a/n: thank you for going on this ride with me... much love- Ace

After party

You walked down the carpet with a line of interviewers waiting to talk to you.

You stood next to Niall with some distance to not give anything away. You and Niall both looked behind you at the same time before paying attention to the question. “What I love about tonight is that you are The Voice. Hollywood dreams are being made overnight. How do you feel?” you watched Niall smile at the interviewees question. “I'm really excited. I've just stopped crying, but I'm really excited and happy to be here and grateful. And I love my family and friends who have been cheering for me since day one.”

“What did they say?”

“Well my family is sleeping so they don't know yet but i called my friend Harry who had just gone on his intermission at his concert and he ran back on stage -with me on facetime- to tell everyone. That was really special. But I'm just very grateful that everyone that voted for Team Niall.” you said as you rested your head on his shoulder softly. 

“Tell me about Niall and your relationship and how he mentored you over the season.” you took your head off his shoulder and shook your head. “Where do I even start? Born in Mullingar- no i'm just kidding-,” you said as Niall laughed with a clap. “He's pretty cool.” you shrugged off. “No I'm absolutely not, but.” you laughed as he looked away from you, “thanks anyway Bleu.” he laughed nervously. “No, he truly has been a great mentor and an even better friend. I've said it before but I really do mean it. Don't tell him that though, he’ll get a big head.” you chuckled, rubbing his arm. “But he's truly been one the best friends and mentors a girl could ever ask for. Every single day I'm so happy that Niall chose me and I chose him.” you watched Niall rub his ear and you smiled knowing he only did that when he was flustered and fidgety.

“Where were you last year? Take me back to that moment.” 

“Oh I have no idea. Oh yes I do, I was graduating Uni. Oh my god that was a year ago.” you said with your hand now over your mouth in shock. “Only you would forget you graduated Uni two years early.” Niall teased and you laughed with your head in your hands. “But we’re here now and I think that's a pretty crazy difference.”

“Your EP: This is me. Who are you?”

“Well I just won the voice so I’d say winner of the voice?” you laughed lightly with a big smile as you saw Niall smile. 

“Last night you sang ‘Diamonds’ by Rihana, is she a big influence for you?

“Oh most definitely. I grew up listening to her because she's Caribbean and having someone I connect to in the music world definitely helped me get to where I am.”

“Now Niall, if this young woman is not busy, could maybe she join you on tour and open for you on The Show?”

“Oh I would love that, at some point. We could get her on some shows. Things will have to happen in the background but, yeah absolutely. I have a feeling she'll be there anyway,” he looked at you with a knowing smile and you smiled back. “I mean she is- i've been saying it for so long and i feel like no one was listening.” he pouted and you giggled. “Um but she is- like you know a talent when you hear it and uh, she's got it. There's no reason why she wouldn't open up for me sometime.”

After Niall answered about the one direction group chat you piped in. “A couple messages are from me when I steal Harry’s phone.” you laugh and Niall joined you. 

“Congratulations! How are you feeling right now? I mean your face was pure shock. Please take us into it.” another interviewer asked you.

“It was just really crazy. I didnt think they would call me name so when they did -oh man, im gonna start crying again-,” Niall rubbed your back softly with a small smile. “It was just really crazy. Everyone in the Top 5 had really smashing performances since ‘the blinds’, so i think everyone just did really well, and i'm happy to even be here.” you almost cried again and covered your face as you saw Niall smile widely. 

“Wow, and your almost in tears right now.” the interviewer pointed out. “Eveyone did well, but you did well too.”

“Oh thank you.” you replied back to her with a slightly shocked smile.

“So I mean in that moment though take me through it. What was going through your mind?”

You laughed softly, “honestly i couldn’t even tell ya’. Like I heard my name and like I lost all hearing.” you chuckled again at Nialls smile aimed towards the ground. “I looked at Niall and saw him with the biggest shit eating grin- oh sorry I don't think i can curse, apologies,” Nialls boisterous laugh cut you off and you looked at him with wide eyes. “So I looked at him to make sure like ‘they didn't call second place did they?’ and when i saw him standing up with the biggest smile i just crumpled. I think I’d still be there crying if it wasn’t for Grace.” you laughed behind your hand. “Im okay right now, but if i get asked a serious question I’m gonna lose it.” you finished off. 

“Niall I can just see in your face like you're just so happy for  Bleu. How does it feel being her coach and knowing that she won? Like what was your reaction?”

“Well as Bleu put it so elegantly earlier,” he said, which made you giggle. “I was just so happy for her. I always kinda knew… what she was capable of from her first audition, when she was a nervous wreck -self admittedly- i just knew that she had a tone that would really spike the nation's interest. A voice like that just stands out. The way she's just been constantly herself on camera and everywhere she's been, it just speaks to people. I'm just proud of her.” he looked at you as he said it and smiled at him softly.

“I think we were all shocked because of the level of talent in the final, it's just been- it could have been any of those 5. But apparently it's been the tightest win of all time, which says alot about Grace too. But,” he shrugged, “got a winner, and my Bleu.” he looked at you with a big closed lip smile and you knew the melty feeling you got was written all over your face.

As you finished up interviews Niall took your hand and walked you to your changing rooms for the after party. “I'll see you there baby.” he said as he gave you a kiss, then followed it with a few more pecks before your giggling ruined it.

When you made it to the after party after changing you met Niall at the entrance and he took your face in his hands and kissed you. “It's been too long since I last did that.” you smiled and kissed him again before getting interrupted by Kelly. “C’mon love birds we wanna celebrate!” she screamed with a laugh. You hid your face in Niall's chest and walked with him hand-in-hand inside where everyone was waiting. 

You all danced and talked and had a good time. You were doing a 360 video and Niall wrapped his arm around your shoulder while getting everyone to shout ‘Bleu’. The camera was spinning around you guys when Niall took his free hand and angled your chin towards him. He looked at your eyes for a brief second and attached his lips to yours in a loving kiss.

The screams around you is what brought you guys out of your bubble. “I love you Bleu, so much.”

“I love you Niall, more than words can ever express.” he kissed you again and you smiled eagerly kissing him back. 

bleuwilson was told only winners get kisses

User7 Yesssss

niallhoran my winner

↳ harrystyles our* winner

↳↳ bleuwilson I love you so much Haza

User9 biggest slay

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Niall Taglist:

@youcan-nolonger-run @ravenclawdirectioner

@luxiorchive @maeflowers653

[organic-guacamole]

showtime

episode 211 let's go

ok first of all, this is the second to last episode guys... I don't even wanna think about how much pain I'll be in after next week's episode

mr mazzara doing the recap-

this is so weird to me and I don't know why

WHY DIDN'T YALL JUST ASK BENJAMIN FOR HELP, THATS LITERALLY HIS THING

is Nini giving out the cards a callback to season 1 when Natalie Bagley said that Nini gave her a card or something on opening night of another musical?

STEPHY AS THE ENCHANTRESS OMG YES

Ricky in the crown gives me Harry styles in that photoshoot vibes

he's so pretty.

ok but why did we never see Ricky and Ashlyn interact before? it's been like 5 seconds and I already love how they bounce off each other and it's just so natural

OH THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY UNDERSTUDIES-

well that explains a lot...

so Ricky fell on top of Ashlyn and all that broke for both of them was their wrist-

insert Jake Peralta *coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool no doubt no doubt no doubt*

of course howie was amazing as the beast, were we expecting anything less??

Ricky is so beautiful and I will not shut up about it....

let me enjoy this before the makeup crew slaps mud on his face.

Nini and Ricky talking to eachother? in a civil manner? wasn't she avoiding him just in the last episode? hm ok

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY CANT EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS, WHATS NEXT? THEY CUT EVERYONE OFF CUZ THEY CANT HANDLE EMOTIONS? ...ha

yes Kaden and Rico, my favourite east high boys 🥰

I mean....where's EJ?

THERE HE IS

EJ AND GINA IN THE BACKGROUND... doing something idek

KOURTNEY'S MOM IS BACK YAY

Howie is a shining star, ofc ofc

the smallest fOrk

can't wait to see the fork burst into song about how she deserves more than to be used to eat salad😌

the duster and the bluster.... ok😃

hi Gina!

hi- oh wow I didn't know Robbie Rotten was in this show!!!!!

the portwell look.

that my friends, is a married couple's look✋

GOSH EJ WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

aww Gina's so excited for this

D word?

Die?

Delicious?

Dom Toretto?

"good, clean fun all alone with someone I dig...a lot"

sir that does not sound very clean to me

SEBLOS

Seb looks so cute standing there next to pope Carlos

DID THEYEY REALLY LIGHT ANTOINE ON FIRE-

I NEED TO SEE THAT

Seb's reading Carlos better than big red read the script in episode 102, this is great development after the "fight"

Kourtney really just made the best outfit for herself and let the rest of them suffer

the way Gina immediately goes to hold on to EJ after the announcement

"tonight we're going to put the U in UTAH"

...

"hey where are you from?"

"TAH"

SEB'S SINGULAR CLAP KILLED ME-

he's officially salt lake city's resident thanos

just wity clapping because for some reason I have a feeling he doesn't know how to snap his fingers...don't ask why

Ms Jenn do you mind encouraging your leads before the show? idk just an idea

pepto bismol product placement smhsmh

those flowers are bigger that big red himself-

*bops along to the opening theme*

that whistle at the end slaps everytime

WHY IS THE AUDIENCE SO MASSIVE

I guess they're all here to see Ms Jenn go on as a fork after Nini decides to *go her own way*

wow i am so funny

so they couldn't do many group scenes cuz of covid, but this 300 person crowd is cool? nice

OO THE VIOLIN GIRL FROM EPISODE 6 IS IN THE ORCHESTRA

HOWIEEEEEE

"Mr Caswell", he said, in the loudest voice possible while backstage at a show that's about to start.

Mazzara what are you trying to pull-

I usually like Benjamin but I don't like his tone

"iS yOuR wHoLe FaMiLy HeRe?" LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THATS A SOFT SPOT FOR EJ

"we've had some good conversations these past few weeks"

right so what's going to happen after you graduate?

what does he think of you not going to Duke?

what did he say about you giving the sweatshirt that's been in the family for 3 generations to a girl you're not even dating?

good old Mr. M

therapist Mr. Mazzara, they all need it.

start with Ricky though.

"Michael Bowen"

dude why did you shave, now you look less like "hot lumberjack" and more "creep at the gas station"

OH-

does she not like Mike anymore?

why does it sound like jennzzara started dating and now they just sit back and talk smack about everyone in their freetime

break the fourth wall-

uhhhh im scared

why am I scared

he's scary

hehe flowers for Ricky, obviously for Ricky, ObViOuSLY

oh boy poor Michael

this man is in love, rip

why does Ms Jenn always look at people with her eyes open so wide

LILYYYY

I'm only excited because I really like the idea of lily and Ricky being friends, nothing more.

ha this guy's got jokes

a MOAT AROUND THE SCHOOL

wheeze

also he's very pretty.

"the wolves and very talented humans"

how dare he forget to mention the very talented wolves and normal humans, smh erasure

"being nice, what a concept" ted talk by Lily who still doesn't have a last name

did she just say lol out loud

same with the hug emoji last episode-

go touch some grass babes

the way he didn't say no, but said he didn't know how the east high kids would react-

not saying he does want to date her but that's an interesting thing to think about, also another thing to write an essay analysis on just to leave it in my drafts for a few months

awww lily genuinely trying to help him

sorry guys, I've been taken by the Lily charm (didn't know it existed until now but oh well)

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I'LL NEVER SHIP PORTWELL?

just look at me now

the Lily wink I can't she's so cute-

HELP ME I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LIL-

David Attenborough?

oh nvm it's Benjamin narrating the show in a really weird British accent for some reason.

STEPHY GOT MORE LINES YAY GOOD FOR HER

also is this to show that Nini doesn't care about being the star of the show anymore? the way she's supporting everyone else even though she's a fork?

I would pay for a special of the full musical ngl

OOO THE TRANSFORMATION WAS SMOOTH

shockingly

yo where did the makeup come from

man I wish I was a theatre kid

THIS IS STEPHY'S EPISODE NOW IDC✋

my girl is starring

"needs an X-factor"

Simon Cowbell creeps in

"it's a yes from me"

and them boom, he takes Nini and mistreats her horribly and then she comes back to theatre after deciding music isn't for her👍

"I thought she just hog-tied him?"

don't ask sebby, it's better if you don't know.

imagine they spotlight the wrong person and this dude is just some random person that likes writing down stuff during shows.

Ms Jenn just let them do what they rehearsed (at some point we never saw) or else this is gonna end horribly wrong

"help"

same Carlos, same

I love how seb is just his translator rn

I thought he said "great displeasure" instead of "greatest pleasure"....help?

big red coming out from throwing up to see his girlfriend star is the cutest thing in this show.

Ash and Gina dancing is so fun

I'm imagining them practicing at night at their home, watching the movie for the 100th time and making sure their one dance together is perfect

KOURTNEY YES

HOWIE IS IN LOVE AHHHH

I LOVE HOWIE SO MUCH

SEBBY

THIS SCENE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON I CAN'T KEEP UP

THIS IS SO GOOD

HOW???

no because I'm actually crying

I'm dead serious.

we need this musical released as a special

big red is so proud and I love to see it

Natalie: "if you do not by at least 20 dollars in concessions, you do not support art"

rando in the audience: "but I pay for ad free Spotify"

Mr Mazzara clapping in the distance

Gigi, the guy you like is talking to you, complimenting you and hyping you up

YOU LUCKY LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER

aw EJ teasing her about the chocolates in a way that doesn't make her feel bad? take notes Richard

JORDAN FISHER

there is no rest of the show idc Jordan is it for me

THE WIG CAP ON RICKY OMG

they look like they're high and having "deep" conversations on the floor

THE MEAN GIRL WITH THE EYES-

@sunshine-julie-molina YOU HEAR THAT

Natalie really just be coming for them all

Howie what is happening rn

I'm scared

"did you enjoy it"

"very much"

dude wants a kiss so bad

ASHLYN OMG

NO DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF LILY, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT

I want a Jordan autograph please

just keep swim- oh pushing...

Gina is literally a giant next to him and I live for it

am I about to cry for the 3rd time in this episode?

yes.

Ricky's leg kicks under the table makes me so happy aw

the portwell glances will kill me.

ah yes, mashed potato snow

Mr. M.... I'm not a theatre kid but even I know you can't have your phone on backstage.

Howie please just do it

CHIP'S BIG LINE I CANT

I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE IT AMD SCREAM INTO MY MASK FOR A SOLID 2 MINUTES (I'm not at home rn) HES SO CUTE

oh ok bye Jordan

oo tea

NOT HIM BEING STARSTRUCK BECAUSE HE'S MEETING HIS FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW-

"we're all just glad Gigi has a big brother figure in her life"

excuse me for a few thousand hours while I laugh hysterically

THE CAMERA ZOOM ON EJS FACE AND EVERYTHING-

STOP EJ LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA CRY BUT I CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY WITH THE STAGE MAKE-UP

someone else said this already but I think it's hilarious that they had to bring in 2 guest characters to create some portwell angst

omg this really is Cici's episode, found family is their thing

elevator music lol

I'm gonna bet that big red took the harness for his surprise for Ashlyn without realising what it was

did Ms. Jenn just....tell her most mentally unstable student....to commit suicide....on a disney show...was that....I'm very....well....what the actual-

oh and there she goes running off instead of trying to make it right

oh wow Nini's the hero, she's gonna save the show 🤩

😐

the judge is doing a sudoku

honestly if I went to the hsm show as well, I'd come prepared for this one too

Lily why are you looking like that-

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOU DON'T MESS THIS UP

wow ok, there goes that.

omg

what if Howie was acting weird because he knew what Lily did and wanted to tell Kourtbut Lily threatened him so he was scared to-

anyways see y'all clowns next week when we all simultaneously lose all motivation for the week without Fridays to look forward to.

[harrystylinslut]

my live in time review of Emerald Fennell’s ‘Promising Young Woman’ (2020)

Promising Young Woman

Dir Emerald Fennell

So hello friends welcome to my reviews. I type my pure, unfiltered (mostly) thoughts about movies. I call it ‘chey watches films’ and I promise it’s going to stop being so serious. 

My first film I decided to do this on is Promising Young Woman since it was a hit at this past Sunday’s Oscars. Which was amazing - btw. So, of course. Spoilers ahead. These were my thoughts as they happened knowing nothing about the story because I don’t watch trailers on purpose. 

“Boys by charli xcx are you fucking kidding me”

“20 seconds in and i already need fucking help this is so funny”

“This club scene im screaming” ~internally~

“This looks like a blast honestly god I miss clubs”

“Her bangs are so cute” - me abt cassie

“This lighting is so fucking sexy”

“Oh my god YES drunk car rides are the fucking worst”

“Wait is she just acting lol”

“Omg he’s gonna roofie her”

“The way she’s not kissing back has me crying” - was actually cry laughing a lil bit 

TW: bedroom scene ewie

“WAIT QUEEN I LOVE HER”

“Omg she’s so hot”

“It’s raining men omg lmao”

“I’m crying at this movie I hate them” - term of endearment

“I want to marry Bo’s character” - sorta 

“Not him being a foot taller than her”

“Laverne Cox is adorable and needs to wear a gold septum always”

“Luv cassie so much and the Make Me Coffee Shop” - very interesting name for a coffee shop

“That waist yes gawd” - showing her braid

“YAY IT’S BO - oh my god I love that shirt”

“Oh my god they even know each other that’s so cute”

“Interesting choice of name for Bo’s character”

“That flirting style…. I love it. Sorta enemies to loving yep” so endearing 

“NOT HIM DRINKING THE COFFEE WITH SPIT IN IT LMAOOOOO FUCK”

“She’s a fucking clown I love her”

“I love this actor” - about the coke scene

“Oh my god jesus fuck he is so cringe”

“Not shoving drugs in her mouth jesus”

“LMAO HIS NAME IS NEIL THIS IS SOOO STUPID NOT THE KISS….NEIL IS AWFUL”

“She’s so intimidating I love it”

“Oh my god this is ME”

“Cassie is so hot”

“Stealin hearts n never saying sorry”

“Ohhh this thunder is very cool”

“The guitar fuck no”

“Not her forgetting her 30th birthday omg”

“Jesus her Mom is annoying”

“Ryan is so hot omg”

“Whew he looks so good”

“Im laughing so hard Bo Burnham is such a talented actor”

“I love this actress ((Carey)) so much”

“Would have been a great doctor she just didnt want it bad enough ,, very relatable”

“Not him saying she looks like his daughter omg but like she can wear some badass heels and not be taller than him thats kinda hot though”

“Oh my god not sex on the counter JESUS SHE IS BOLD”

“She called him lover boy lmao”

“I hate it I hate it I hate that people dont understand people can be triggered by school I hate that kids even have to go through that”

“Omg the social media stalking that’s so funny”

“Ew yeah… I hate seeing awful people happy”

I

“This seems shady”

“Omg yes bitches get drunk”

“Lmao thats right feel BAD”

“Not her saying they want a good girl shut up stop being pretentious”

“People dont just forget that those things happen and it’s so shitty she’s just passing it off OMG GGGGG I HATE it”

II

“Yep she social media stalks everyone and it sucks seeing so many awful people being happy and not being served proper justice”

“Knew it knew what Alexander had done - they allude to it very well”

“Yep drunk at a party”

“The dean didnt take it seriously at all and passed it off as just some little mistake because she was drunk. People dont just shut up. Yes fuck his life up he deserves jail time - that’s so shitty oh my god”

“There can be a different fucking system we can protect people”

“This is a female Deadpool I fucks with it”

“Oh my god Cassie is CRAZY also is the receptionist in on it LMAO”

“Why do they not have a case file? Did they not file a report with the police? What the entire loving fuck why does no one remember anything about this?”

“This is beautifully filmed”

“Awe Ryan is being v sweet”

“Oh my god shes playing her game again WHHHY”

“Ryan is so protective omg that’s lowkey hot though”

“She’s so hot”

“I love this scene”

III

“Omg not his day of reckoning jesus”

“People have been trying to get him arrested for years jesus”

“Oh my god cops are so fucking corrupt this is so gross”

“I love how genuine he is I cant imagine cops that have had to go through that”

“Lmao I can relate to Nina so much I did so much shit to stand up for people I’m a professional hype man tbqh”

“Jesus I wouldnt just fucking move on either”

“Awe omg Ryan is there for her I love him”

“Oh my god they are so adorable my heart breaks for her so much”

“I wanna dance with Bo wtf”

“THE KISS AHHHH WTF”

“Come and fuck my life up PLEASE”

“Oh my god why am I crying lol”

“This family is wild lmao”

“He’s so freaking sweet”

“Love how Cassie isnt actually crazy people just truly are awful”

“Oh my god them flirting they are so freaking adorable I cant do this”

“THERE IS EVIDENCE WHY IS EVERYONE BEING THIS WAY”

“It sucks so fucking much”

“God everyone was so drunk though you cant watch though you need to help”

“I truly think people dont realize how serious it is Im glad this movie will help that”

IIII

“Um loving this orchestra version of Toxic”

“NOT MAX GREENFIELD LMAO”

“Her posing as a stripper so true”

“Hell no yes go girl bully these men”

It got very serious and uncomfortable so I skipped to the part where Max Greenfield’s character enters the room. 

“This reminds me of the Bo Dukes story”

“That’s really how it was - it’s so funny to watch these investigations how awful they are”

“You can just tell he’s lying just tell the truth plEATHE”

“God he loved her so much this hurts”

IIIII

“Max running away oh my god bitch where u going”

“I hope Ryan isnt turned in I dont think she would do that”

“YES ARREST HIS ASS”

“The necklaces Im cryin”

WHEW 100/10 I really loved that movie a lot !!!

ANYWAYS. I will write a more comprehensive review for the blog I wanna start or my podcast - but here it is!

[muckrakerhq]

PRESENTING … FONDUE FOR TWO, EVERY TUESDAY, HOSTED BY JOEY HUMMEL-ANDERSON.

featuring… this week’s guests, @ivystjamess & @lincolnonline

fondue for two is a weekly internet talk show hosted by joey hummel-anderson. fondue for two, joey, and the muckraker team strive to get all the steaming gossip while he interviews guests of his choice over a steaming pot of cheese.

[Joey's room - once again, Joey sits across from his guests, but this time it's Ivy St. James and Lincoln Clarington-Smythe; Gil the Fish is in the same spot]

JOEY: Hi everyone! Today's guests are very special, since I have here with me McKinley's biggest bitches, Ivy St. James and the new kid that is already more popular than Fiona Beckett, Lincoln Clarington-Smythe! Do you guys feel honored to be here, on what is the greatest internet show of all time?

LINK: A title I am more than proud to share. I can also say with complete confidence that the bar for internet shows is so low that I can't dispute that this one may just be the best.

IVY: okay, winnie is totally a bigger bitch than me but i'm like happy to be here before her anyway. even if it's with the new boy.

JOEY: Okay, you guys could smile a little more though, this is the internet after all. Moving on to the first question, a fan actually sent this one and it's for Ivy! Ivy, is it true that you got Danny Zuko because, just like your mom, you have what people call "man hands"?

IVY: oh my god that's like so. . . mean? i dont have man hands and neither does my mom! but if the people like really wanna know, i have my dad's hands. mine look like the exact same as his, even when we used to do jazz hands in our family dance routines they were the exact same down to like every flutter of the finger.

JOEY: I wasn't the one who sent this in, so you can blame someone named LucyQ99, because she was the one who sent it. Moving on from the story about Ivy's hands that no one asked for, the next question is for Link! Is it true that you got kicked out of Dalton because you were caught having sex with someone on the stairs and not because of a list?

LINK: Unfortunately, no, there's been a mix up in stories. I was actually caught having sex with someone on the stairs last year and I lied and said I was helping him check for STD's because 'he was too scared to see the nurse.' The list thing was totes the reason and it was unjust so please email and call your local council and accuse Dalton of homophobia, that would mean a lot to me.

JOEY: You heard it here first, I will leave the phone number and email down below because Dalton is homophobic... Anyways, next question is for both of you, who is the second hottest guy at McKinley? I'm number one, obviously.

IVY: ugh that's like so totally easy, Joey! Everyone knows it's--

IVY: actually you know what? i bet link is like SO totally unbiased from personal experience with these guys. 

IVY: link, who do you like think is hottest?

LINK: Uh...okay, well, in all honesty, the bar in on the fucking floor. And as much as I know you hate to admit it, I'm gonna say Leo because he gives me big Jack Skellington vibes if Halloweentown had a film school and I'm really into that, ya'know. Also maybe Theo but only when I admire him from afar, I don't need to hear him talk, it ruins it for me.

IVY: oh my god.

IVY: PLEASE say you're joking like right now. 

IVY: leo? like? mccarthy?

LINK: Yeah, and? I like the angst of it all!

JOEY: Wait, Ivy you didn't answer, and I'm not even going to comment on that, Link... This is the last time you'll be on my show.

IVY: i dated leo for like eight months! so not cool! the angst like totally isn't worth it. and from personal experience? you're like definitely better off with theo.

IVY: joey i didn't answer because there's like. . . not even a second behind you. maybe a close fifth though. . . yeah!

LINK: Listen, I'm not gonna try anything with Leo, I respect his heterosexuality! I'm allowed to admire from my bubble of him being my manic pixie dream film bro! And stop avoiding Joey's questions, you're dodging and weaving that shit. You may be McKinley's lil' actress ingenue, but you're not a good liar.

IVY: i am like . . . an incredible liar!

JOEY: Okay, that's enough talking about Leo in my room, you guys are bumming out my whole area... I liked Ivy's answer, moving on! How do you guys feel about the musical?

IVY: thank you! anyhow, i'm gonna like totally make everyone forget who john travolta even is. duh. ever thought you could cry to a rendition of sandy? no? well just like wait until you hear mine.

LINK: I'm hype. I really don't care about musicals but I was born to play Rizzo, it just makes sense. I'm gonna steal the show and Ivy and....uh...no, no, I'll get it....Jonathan? Jason?......Anyways, Ivy and the Schuester guy playing Sandy, well I'm sure they'll be great too. I've never been too pure to be pink, that's for sure.

IVY: Julien. 

IVY: but yea like im sure you'll make a good Rizzo. that's a compliment I don't give lightly.

JOEY: Good! I can't wait until everyone else in rehearsal to not fit in the room because of your giant egos. And I do know what ego means, I learned that word recently. Okay, between you two, who's more talented? The people want to know.

LINK: Yeah, him. Big hair. I'll get to know him when I have to bully him on stage. And let's look at the facts; I can sing, I can act, I can dance, I can write and direct, I can and have arranged multiple Cupcakke songs into acapella versions, I can work industry standard special effects equipment, I can give you splits and dips and I dress like Sharpay Evans. Make your own conclusions on who's more talented.

IVY: Listen, everyone thinks I'm like kind of a bitch, but the fact of the matter is I'm not just a bitch. I'm a talented bitch. And if acknowledging my ability makes me a bitch then like . . . whatever! Link's stuff is impressive but at the end of the day, I managed to be successful in the arts and like a totally hot and popular cheerio at Mckinley. It's no easy feat juggling both. So like . . . the proof is in the pudding or whatever.

JOEY: There's pudding? I want pudding... Well, I guess it's up to everyone else to decide, please leave a comment and say who you think is more talented! Right, next question is a serious one - do you guys think Gil looks okay? He looks tired, right?

LINK: I mean, yeah, why lie, this fish is probably moments away from the sweet, salty grips of a literal watery grave. But, hey, I'm no fish expert maybe he just needs to pop a Zoloft.

IVY: Ew, morbid. Maybe he just needs to like nap!

JOEY: I think he'll be fine. He hasn't been the same since I found out he's a secret slumlord... [turns to the bowl] The way you treat those families is really mean and they don't deserve that, but I think there's still good in you... Right, since I like to end it on a positive note, the two of you have to say something nice about each other!

IVY: Even though he's kind of delusional about who's gonna be the Grease show stopper, for someone who came from like a private school, Link does dress nice!

LINK: Why, thank you. You are very pretty and I get what the hype is about. You have a nice face and from what I can tell you have talent and when I get famous and if you weren't straight, I'd totally consider you for a part as the Final Girl in one of my movies. I try not to work with hets, it's not personal, I promise.

IVY: i see 

IVY: but just so you know, i have like two gay grandpas and i'm jewish so like when I'm inevitably the best and only option you can pull that info for the sake of being diverse

JOEY: Right, that was kind of nice! Last question of the show, did you guys have fun here? And if you say no, you're not allowed in my house anymore.

IVY: i'd never be banned from your house but yea this was like super fun!

LINK: It was a blast. I should point out though that this fondue cheese kinda tastes like, um....pure garbage. But I can look past that.

JOEY: Anyways, thanks for watching everyone and I'll see you next week for another Fondue for Two!

 [The End]

[dayasbun]

Fame - Angus Cloud (4)

Summary- a luckily timed audition leads to you falling for your new and unexpected co-star.

Warnings- okay HI welcome to my first multi chapter series woah?! this is actually so exciting for me like wow especially since angus doesn’t have any fics yet im just really really excited- so warnings! smut for sure, bad words, lotsa fluff, angst- everything in one basically. here comes a ride and I hope you enjoy :)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4 {reading now}

-

“Fuck right there- Oh my god please-” You moaned holding his hair. “You never had anyone eat your pussy like this before right?” he said eating deeper as you moaned and squirmed. “Only you baby, this pussy is only you-”

“Yo wake the fuck up, you making weird noises and shit.”

You sat up taking in a deep breath and inspected your surroundings. There stood a worried Angus with a mug in his hand. “I'm fine...” you said quite unconvincingly.

“You sure? I went to make you some tea and came back to you rolling around and groaning and shit, thought that strange netflix monster had come to you or sum.”

“The demogorgan-”

“Yeah that shit!” He sat next to you on the edge of the bed. “Nightmare?” he asked softly as he handed you the tea.

“Well not exactly...” You took the warm mug and took in a long swig of the warm goodness. It's not like you were just going to openly tell him ‘Oh no, I just had a dream about you eating me out and I loved every second of it.’ “Actually yeah, a nightmare.” you lied.

“I hate those, what was yours about?”

“I...a monster ate me alive and I couldn't stop it.”

Angus shook his head. “Damn mamas, I’m sorry. Those suck, I know its like 2 pm, but let’s eat some breakfast and try to forget about it.”

You nodded standing up and stretching “Thanks...for the tea.”

“Of course, don’t girls love tea? Ion know, I don't really be sleeping with girls that often.” He chuckled walking into the small kitchen.

“Tea is amazing!” You exclaimed, following him and sitting on the counter. “I love tea in all seasons, it has so many benefits.”

“Yeah? What’s some of them benefits.”

“Well green tea has amazing antioxidants, and is a more naturally caffeinated drink than coffee- with not as many negative results. But don't get me wrong, I really do love my coffee- anyway! Tea can help straighten and strengthen bones, brighten your smile, and help you lose weight!!”

“Oh wow.” He laughed “I didn't even care about all that tea shit, just wanted to hear your voice. But it was actually kinda interesting.”

“Yeah- and don't worry about a lack of my voice, I never shut up.”

“You right about that; but before you get all defensive, its aight. I like hearing you blab off about random stuff ion care about.”

You felt your face grow hot as you stifled a giggle that wanted to come out. “Thank you. I think I talk too much, but hey, can't really stop it y’know?” Angus nodded as he cracked 5 eggs into a pan. “You just be going off about stuff- actually you was sleep talking a little bit.”

Fuck.

“Yeah? What was I saying?” you asked innocently, hoping he didn't say what he was most definitely about to say.

“Well it was when you had that nightmare. Was the monster a cow or sum? Cuz you kept saying ‘Angus’ so like.” He turned to look at you “I figure it wasn’t me, but it was probably like...some beef monster.”

“Oh yeah, for sure a beef monster.”

“And that beef monster was eating you huh?”

You smoothly tucked your hair behind your ear and nodded with a sweet smile “Mhm.”

Angus gave you a quick up and down look before turning around and continuing to scramble the eggs. You had to change the current topic or you'd die of embarrassment, so you decided to bring up the topic of the show instead. “Do you know which scenes we’re filming tomorrow?”

“Yeah, no sex scenes until next week. Tomorrow they finna do you coming back and me reminiscing on the old times.”

“Okay cool. I have those lines down, pretty simple...” You mumbled.

“Yeah me too.”

A butcher knife couldn't even cut the tension in the room right now. Fuck, a chainsaw couldn't either.

“So like... I’m gonna go change and I'll be right back? Sound good?”

“You can wear summa my stuff. If you want- you don’t got to i'm just offering.”

“Oh that'd be great thanks! You know my trailer is just so far away!” You joked, knowing that it was only next door. You hopped off of the counter and followed him back into the room you two had just come out of.

“You just want one big shirt? Girls be doing that alot nowadays.”

“Yeah, thanks that'd be great...”

“So the biggest shirt I got got some barbecue stains on it- ignore it. I just went off on some spicy wings the other day-”

You burst out laughing and sat on the bed “Gus it’s fine, gimme!” You pulled your shirt off and held out your hands. He turned back around to find you only in your bra and shorts.

“Yooooo-”

“Its fine, we have to be completely naked with each other next week. Titties are just titties.” You took the shirt out of his hands and put it on. After pulling off the shorts that you wore underneath the shirt; that was more like a dress- and folding them, you walked back into the kitchen and reclaimed your spot on the counter.

“Well I know one problem we won't have!” You stated with a smirk.

“Yeah, and what's that?”

“Drake was worried you wouldn't be able to ‘get it up’...but honestly, I don’t think it'll be too hard.”

“Why you think that?”

“Look down.”

Sure, Angus wouldn't let you live down the wet dream you had about him for quite a while, but you'd never let him live down the boner he got- just from seeing you in a bra.

+

“So. Let's get to the real real.��� Storm said pulling her knees up to her chest with a grin. “What the hell is going on with you and Angus?”

You, Storm and Daya were hanging in your trailer. You three were the only girls that didn't have scenes to film right now, Alexia, Barbie and the rest of the female cast were shooting night scenes. They had helped you set up the place to seem more homey, and now the newly formed trio you were a part of was in your bed with microwave popcorn, juicy juice, and twizzlers.

“Nothing Storm! Actually nothing I-”

“Nope, don't do that.” Z quickly cut you off. “Everyone can see it, it’s like what everyone on set talks about.”

“What?-”

“Plus, he talks about you too much, and you do the same with him! Earlier I said I wanted to pop some microwave popcorn and you started telling me about some conspiracy he told you about popcorn and microwaves, how they’re a secret way in for the government- like girl! Don't tell me you're so whipped that you're out here believing this stuff!”

“OKAY! Okay! I get it...look Gus is-”

“Gus?! You call him Gus?”

“Yeah?-”

“He literally hates that nickname with a passion. He gotta love you.” Storm chuckled grabbing a handful of popcorn.

“Okay well Angus is cute. He’s sweet and funny and caring- BUT. I won’t let anything happen between us, it’s like...business. This field is acting- and I don't think it would be good for us to do anything more, especially during filming.”

Z sighed. “Falling for your costars is weird.”

“Yeah.” Storm chimed in. “Our girl Daya been there and done that...but it never really affected her acting. She's so talented that she could keep it hidden off screen and focus on her character. I mean I know you talented Y/N...but you not my big sis like Z, so I don't really know how you'd be able to deal with it yet. Drake already seemed a bit iffy about it because he could tell you two had a little something going, but the thing comforting him is y'all are talented. So he knows you can do it- I know you can too.”

“Yeah he sent us a letter about it...it's just hard. I can't lose this role, I've come so far.”

“I don't think you’ll lose it. I think you'll be fine. Just keep a business mindset when on set. What goes on off screen and behind closed doors is your business, girl. Drake or nobody can stop that- Jesus can't even stop that!”

You and Storm giggled at Zendaya’s last comment. “Yeah yeah yeah...okay I get it guys. I got this- period.”

“Period.”

“Period...So were you one of those girls that watched all the Fez scene compilations on Youtube and drooled?” Storm teased you.

“No!” You said firmly, knowing you were lying.

“Oh she definitely was.”

“I wasn't!”

“I just don't see it! Angus is just not attractive to me, he looks like one of those guys that stop you at the gas station with a ghetto ass group of friends- he rubs his hands together and then screams ‘Hey baby lemme get yo numbaaaa!!!!’“

In response, you practically fell over laughing “Stoppp no!”

The rest of the night was filled with giggles and whispers, and by 1 AM, you, Z, and Storm were all huddled up in your little twin trailer bed. They snored softly but you couldn't seem to sleep. Just as you were .1 seconds away from drifting off, your phone buzzed next to you.

Angus☁️: u uppppp

-oh wow yeah that's not the most fboy thing ever to send at 1:27 am

Angus☁️:  see all you had to say was yes you didn't have to do allat

-can i help you mr cloud

Angus☁️: what typa help you offering?

-whatever help you need.

Angus☁️: you finna have some more beef dreams tonight?

-you finna get a boner if you see me in my bra again?

Angus☁️: maybe.

-then i'll say maybe too.

Angus☁️: you're too much

-i know i am, did you film today?

Angus☁️: ye i had some scenes wit jacob

-wit

Angus☁️: leave me alone

-you texted me

-and wow you sound really mature rn not at all like a five year old

Angus☁️: if i was w you rn id make you regret that

-was that supposed to be a threat or a way to try to make me sext

Angus☁️: both

-you should go text all the hoes you have waiting for you at home

Angus☁️: im texting them at the same time

-boy...

Angus☁️: im plAyin

Angus☁️: only you :)

-getting soft???

Angus☁️: no and i wish this was instagram dms so i could unsend it fuck

-fuck

Angus☁️: thats another thing you was saying during your ‘nightmare’

-STOP NO I WAS NOT

Angus☁️: yeah i know you wasnt lmao i just like messing w you

-you can mess w me whenever you want to

Angus☁️: oh bet????

-goodnight angus

Angus☁️: nah i want you to tell me about me messing w you

Angus☁️: damn you really left

Angus☁️: thats wrong 

Angus☁️: doing me dirty

-GTS MY PHONE KEEPS GOING OFF

Angus☁️: then put it on silent?

-NO

Angus☁️: ill stop being annoying if you come over here

-i cant, im w z and storm too

Angus☁️: shit okay well it was worth a shot

-why, what was you planning to do

Angus☁️: cuddle

-its fr time for you to go bed, i think your sleepiness is making you too soft and taking the hood away

Angus☁️: goodnight

-goodnight

Angus☁️: gn

-gn

Angus☁️: night

-night

Angus☁️: GOODNIGHT

-OKAY GN

Angus☁️: STOP REPLYING

Angus☁️: night

-

taglist:

@nikkixostan @melaninmarvel @celiajrs @siriuslycollins

[kpop-rambles]

Goodbye 2019. Hello 2020.

To celebrate the new year - which a lot of people are celebrating right now, I’m sure, unfortunately not me yet - I decided to create this post. I don’t know how to explain it but if you like kpop, keep reading!

My Top 3 Songs of 2019

1. SKZ - Miroh

This song got me into my now ult group, Stray Kids. Those 9 boys have honestly made this year 10x better for me. Chan’s VLives definitely helped me when I was upset, and the members made me feel emotions by their side. I’m so glad that add of Miroh appeared and I chose to watch it because I may have not gotten into Stray Kids without it. 

2. ATEEZ - Wave

Again, another song that got me into the group. I heard the song in a video where they played huge jenga at Kcon... I think? Anyways, this song is another banger and you completely fall in love with it first listen. You won’t regret listening to this.

3. TWICE - Fancy

I got into TWICE when they released YES OR YES, but FANCY is the song that you can’t not fall in love with. I did on my 2nd listen and man, if you’re saying you didn’t learn the dance and bopped to this song, you are LYING because- let’s be honest - everyone said FANCY SOTY. 

Groups I began stanning in 2019 its felt like forever tho

Stray Kids - March 26th. You think I would forget? 

ATEEZ - August 18th. Another date I remember, because I spent a good 2 hours getting to memorize the members name and faces. Was so happy when I finally did it. 

iKON - Honestly, I was more of a Double B stan since January until Hanbin left. I loved their songs but I never got to know the rest of the members, except for Jinhwan. 

ChungHa - Snapping dragged me in. That’s all I gotta say. Although, ngl, Gotta Go was something I always tried to dance to. 

KARD - Again, Bomb Bomb just pulled me into the fandom. The rest of their discography made me stay. I sang along to Bomb Bomb everyday for a good 3 months. It was honestly EVERYTHING to me and then Dumb Litty came and stole my heart and KARD did it AGAIN.

Mamamoo - gogobebe. Do I really need to say anything else?

GOT7 - I’m pretty sure I got into them because, well everyone knows GOT7. They’re a name everyone knows if you like kpop, so I just wanted to get into them. Eclipse and You Calling My Name are songs I’ll dance and singalong to in the right mood and right part of the song. But their personalities dragged me in. I’m pretty sure BamBam also attracted me when he was on Stray Kids reality show. 

Day6 - Time Of Our Life. I decided to listen to it because Seungmin of Stray Kids was a big fan of them and I was like, it shouldn’t hurt to try. Seungmin made me want to watch and Day6 made me want to stay. They don’t make ANY bad songs. 

Everglow - March 18. Listened to Bon Bon Chocolat when it came out, and I was honestly scared ppl were gonna sleep on them cause ITZY debuted a month before. Fortunately, everyone noticed their talent. 

BigBang - I dunno just listened to one of their songs. And, of course, I fell in love. Too late to stan them while they were active, but I’m expecting something in 2020... just saaying.

NCT - All of the subunits. Honestly there were so many of them, I spent time taking tests to tell them apart. The struggle to stan these boys. Instantly fell in with the Dreamies. And then I found out they weren’t a fixed unit... My heart shattered. It’s still breaking because 4 OF THEM ARE LEAVING. or left. I dunno. 

Tomorrow by Together - They were probably the most anticipated group of this year. I remember ppl hyping them up in October of 2018! Predebut stan right here. (I just remembered that I thought the preview of each member was coming out in age order and thinking that Beomgyu was the youngest. And I was just like WHERE IS HEUNINGKAI FROM?!?!)

ITZY - remember when everyone thought that itzy’s debut was rushed because info about them was leaked. yeah, i forgot too. anyways, again I was a predebut stan. 

(G)- idle - i always listened to their title tracks and I began stanning them during Queendom after their Fire cover im listening to 2ne1 2015 mama fire performance rn lol.... omg bom’s han cover just started playing. spotify is watching me guys.

Somi - Birthday was a bop. fight me. outfits sucked, gotta agree with that opinion I didn’t rlly know much about IOI but I started stanning because Jenchu were fangirling to it i mean jennie twerked for it!

Jimin Park - I’m out here still streaming STAY BEAUTIFUL. honestly she’s so loveable. her personality and her voice are everything. how can you not like her

My Top 5 Groups of the Year

1. STRAY KIDS - A lot of the reasons I luv them are the same as ATEEZ. That’s why ateez are close to being my number one, but honestly these 9 boys are everything to me. 9 or NONE FOREVER. They have been through so much this year and I hope they STAY strong for 2020. In their 2020 seasons greeting they announced a full album next year, so I’m ready to follow these boys on their journey no matter how many stay or leave. I’m a STAY for a reason. 

2. ATEEZ - PERSONALITY. I’m also a sucker for groups that shove their love for each other in your face. 8 makes 1 team, y’know? Hongjoong and Mingi are amazing rappers, Jongho, Wooyoung and San’s vocals tho, Yunho and Seonghwa’s deep voices are the death of me, and Yeosang dancing. They’re talented and luvable and that’s all I need for an ult group. also all their songs are bops

3. Mamamoo - Honestly would’ve tied with Twice but these I’m a sucker for them as ppl as well, and I need that to luv a group. they ain’t fake, they slap information in your face and they are POWERFUL WOMAN. (Not saying twice aren’t ofcourse) And these girls vocals are on POINT. Moonbyul is rapper material, but have you heard the girl song? What an angel. Their songs are all slaps, especially the most recent ones. 

4. TWICE - This was their year? yes or yes. Fancy soty. Feel Special was a great title track, don’t get me wrong, bUT HAVE YOU HEARD THE FULL ALBUM. Every song is my AMAZING. omg rainbow is playing

5. NCT DREAM - These boys stole my heart, I only stanned nct because of them. Honestly seeing the 00 line leave breaks my heart.

My Top 5 girl group and boy group songs

gg songs were honestly so hard to pick, they thrived and SO many good songs were made in 2019. But here is my list. 

1. Fancy - soty

2. Hip - this song was everything from the choreo to the song itself to the girls energy performing it

3. Psycho - came out like last week but it’s in everyone's top 10 of this year. Beautiful song that won’t get outta my head. getwellsoonwendy.

4.Violeta - this is another song that won’t get out of my head. honestly none of these songs will. ok so the final dance part after the drop of violeta pisses me off because the dance could is so powerful and that part comes and it’s such a disappointment but it’s the only part I can do so i shouldn't complain  but the song itself is very catchy. I don’t want these girls to disband even if the votes were rigged because they make a good group and sing bangers. i don't want them to leeeave.

5.Lion - the song is just so powerful. other songs they’ve made are good, but the chorus is usually a disappointment because the pre chorus is so good but EVERYTHING is great about Lion. Didn’t like it at first for some reason, i dunno why, but once you give it a few more listens you’ll fall in love. 

Now onto the boy groups. They made quite a few bangers this year as well.

1. Miroh - It’s my no.1 of the year. watchu expect?

2. Wave - and this is my no.2. Again, what else would I put here?

3. Run Away - what. a. bop. still can’t get out of my head. Crown was a disappointment to me after 1000 listens but not Run Away. A bonus is the Harry Potter references. With that I just was head over heels in love. Txt didn’t fail to disappoint with their comeback even if it was pushed back. 

4. Boom - This song made me fall in love with the talent that NCT DREAM holds despite being so young. Sang along for a few months. Actually, it’s still in my head. 

5. Make It Right - I was doing title tracks for all these but then I realised there has to be an exception because I just really like this song, especially the one featuring Lauv. Boy with luv wasn’t it for me but every other song on Persona is a straight up masterpiece (ok an exaggeration but u get what i mean)

Now onto the soloists (they’re all female, sry not sry)

1. Chica - I was debating whether to put Snapping or this but decided with Chica. Honestly the vocals, the song, the dance, the MESSAGE, is everything. I love it, it empowers woman, it makes ME feel good, and it’s what some people really need sometimes. So, thank you ChungHa. 

2. Gotta Go - another bop by our queen ChungHa, she really ruled this year. I didn’t stan her when it came out but that doesn’t mean I didn’t do the ‘deulshi’ part whenever I heard it. iconic.

3. Twit - Again another iconic bop from this year. (i thought this masterpiece came out last year, i dunno why but it just is so 2018 for some reason? I dunno) Hwasa’s solo debut really was everything. So was Moonbyul’s which unfortunately didn't make it on the list but I would say it’s in between 5th to 7th for me. 

4. Stay Beautiful - Such a beautiful song, it was a shame Jamie had to leave but she left JYP saying that they lost smth PRECIOUS and they would regret it and she conveyed all that in one song without hinting at it. So many quote worthy lyrics were in the song and it just bring up my mood and my standard for vocals. Don’t sleep on this girl, y’all. 

5. Birthday - the song brought out mixed reactions from everyone but i LOVED IT. It did get a bit old but it’s still something you’ll find me singing along to every now and then. 

ARTISTS THAT STOOD OUT TO ME THIS YEAR 

1. Bang Chan of Stray Kids. I love him. He’s such a great leader, he’s a loveable person, he’s all rounded and he fucks up sometimes but he acknowledges it and fixes it. He went through so much shit this year and he deserves so much more. I, along with many other STAYs are gonna make 2020 a better year for him and all of his group. Stay strong Chan! But besides his personality his stage presence, his rapping, his singing, his producing, his energy, his personality, it all made him someone who was always on my mind. 

2. Yeonjun of Tomorrow x Together. He’s also very well rounded and he really stands out to me from all the other 4th gens. Whenever I see a performance by TXT he always grabs my attention even when he’s not the main focus. I love his dancing, it’s very eye catching to me, along with his stage presence. He never loses his energy on stage and I expect a lot from him in 2020! His rapping and singing are amazing as well, especially for a rookie. Also when they first debuted he cried a lot, which was very heartwarming to me because idols showing emotion other than happy is something I appreciate, because it lets me remember they’re human too.

3. Seulgi of Red Velvet. She’s, again, very well rounded. I’m not really a Reveluv, but Wendy and Seulgi are vocalists who really stand out to me so those to kind of make me want to listen to Red Velvet’s songs. She’s an amazing vocalist, like words can’t express how much a love this woman's voice. Her stage presence is amazing as well, she’s just a really good performer imo.

4. Jihyo and Nayeon of TWICE. First of all I really like their personality and how powerful they are. Honestly a wink from them and I’m falling of my chair. Secondly, I don’t know if anyone's noticed but I really like powerful female vocals, and these two have extremely POWERFUL vocals. Have you heard them sing? Just... POWERFUL, that’s all I can really say to describe their voices. 

5. Mingi and Hongjoong of ATEEZ. They are rapper that are gonna blow away the whole industry with 3racha, I mean they already have. Did y’all see their performance in MAMA. The RAWEST vocals I heard that whole show. They were obviously not lip syncing, you could hear Mingi panting and he didn’t rap a whole line, and I LOVE that because it is RAW and we need more raw vocals or atleast breaths heard when the artists are dancing because it makes the performance more REAL. also stage presence is amazing from these two, they really know how to hype up a crowd. 

ROOKIE GROUPS I EXPECT A LOT FROM NEXT YEAR

sorry my expectations are high for them, but they have stood out tome so much and i couldn’t stand to see them flop. 

1. TOMORROW X TOGETHER - they’ve been on this list quite a lot, and I really appreciate their individual talents along with them as a group. I REALLY want to see them improve and grow more next year because they were really pushed this year, being BTS’s juniors. I’m sure they were really stressed but I want them to become TOMORROW BY TOGETHER not BTS’s juniors. Probably won’t happen in a year but hopefully in the next decade.

2. ITZY - another group really known for theing the juniors of TWICE this time. The title tracks they released so far have all been listen to it the first time, you don;t like it, but listen to it the 2nd time and it’s stuck in your head for the next 7 months. Honestly if they keep going like this, it would be like a ITZY thing, and I honestly wouldn’t mind. 

3. EVERGLOW - i think everyone just saw bon bon chocolat, gave it a listen, and loved it. but i also heard it was produced by someone who helped produce Crown by TXT and Spring Day by BTS, so there’s another reason ppl may have liked it so much. Adios wasn’t a disappointment at all.  Of course, I would also love it if Everglow kept up the “nanana” thing in each of their title tracks.

4. ATEEZ - I don’t think they’ll flop at all next year. I know they just had their 1st year anniversary, but I wouldn’t mind a full album... either way, Imma stick with them because they’ve only released that good shit so far and I’m honestly expecting a somewhat mediocre song at least once in their career next year. Not expecting it though. 

5. ONEUS - I haven’t’t talked about them yet but all of oneus’s title tracks are absolute gold. I am a mess for Valkyrie, Twilight AND Lit. They’re all just AMAZING songs. I mean, what did we expect from Mamamoo’s juniors but. They are REALLY good. Just go listen to all their title tracks rn. 

And finally, wishes for 2020

- Of course, Wendy to recover after her tragic incident at SBS. Again, I hope she recovers well

- Mina to come back from her hiatus, only if she’s ready to, of course

- BLACKPINK FULL ALBUM. ROSE SOLO. PLEASE.

- Of course, 4th gen to thrive along with 3rd gen and 2nd gen groups

- A full album from stray kids (which was confirmed) and again, maybe for ATEEZ? just maybe? 

- More attention for Mamamoo. They are underrated queens. 

- Less hate for Tomorrow By Together. People bash them just because they’re BTS’s juniors. they would be praised a less but definitely not doubted way more if they weren’t under Bighit. Yeah, they get luxuries other groups won’t but that doesn’t mean people should degrade them for it. 

And with that

I wish everyone a Happy New Year. May your next decade be filled with happiness and joy! omg fancy started playing

also i didn’t have time to properly edit this. then again i am a rambling blog, so what are you expecting?

[kpopmultifan127]

That Lonely Troll Ch. 1 (WayV XiaoJun)

                                                  CHAPTER ONE

Growing up I was always a nerd. I was an outsider that had no friends or didn’t have looks that caught attention in a good way. Glasses that were thicker than coke bottles and hair that birds felt comfortable to lay their eggs in. Even if I tried to make an effort to look good I’d always got teased for trying too hard. So I always just learned to not care anymore. There was only one person that was nice to me, his name was XiaoJun. Everyone knew who he was and everyone had a crush on him because he was so good looking, he was top of his class and he was super athletic. He was also in a group with his friends called WayV. They were all talented! Xiaojun was every girl’s dream man including mine. I always stayed away from him, I mean look at me you really think he’ll even look at me like that?

Every time I saw XiaoJun walk down the hallways all I can do is admire afar and be invisible. Anytime I had no class I’d always stay in an empty room where I was safe from other people teasing me for whatever reason. As I was in the room I heard the sound of footsteps coming in so I put my head up to see who it was and it was XiaoJun. “Oh sorry I didn’t know anyone was here.” He said with a fright. “oh no sorry I can leave if you like me to.” I told him. He smiled and was like “oh no you’re fine you can stay as long as you don’t tell people what I’m about to do here.” I looked at him and giggled as I told him “ok just as long as it’s not illegal” He just smiled and giggled.

“No one knows this about me not even my other members so don’t say anything” he told me as he pointed his finger to me like I was being scolded. I smiled and just nodded yes. Shyly I asked “what is it you’re going to do that no one else knows about?” My heart skipped a beat when he got super close to me to whisper in my ear. I got startled and kinda flinched backwards before he said anything. “I love to draw.” I then looked at him like really that’s it? He could see the look on my face like it wasn’t a big deal. “Sorry I made it sound bigger than it is” he said. He then pulls out his sketchbook and showed me some of his work. “But promise me Diana you can’t say anything.” He added. “How did you know my name is Diana?” I asked him. He then smiled and pointed at my name badge…”your name badge” he said with a giggle. I turned red and watched him pull out his book.

I then got excited, “OH MY GOD YOU DREW THESE?!” Me not realizing how close I was to him and made eye contact with him as he was smiling at how excited I got. I immediately got up “Oh I’m sorry” I said going back to my table to continue working. “You can go ahead and do your thing, I’ll leave you alone now” I told him. He just smiled and began to draw. I couldn’t help but stare at how charismatic he looked when he was drawing. You can tell he really enjoys it. He then looked up as he did I quickly put my head down to do my work. I could see at the corner of my that he caught me staring and just smiled. The bell rang and he started to pack his things to leave he smiled “bye Diana” he told me. “You can just call me Dee” I told him. He smiled and said “ok, bye Dee. Thanks for sharing the room with me” and went on his way.

Class had started and I couldn’t focus on anything. I’ve never spoken to him that long before or even at all. It was nice to talk to someone who wasn’t there to tease me or ask me to do their homework. All I could do was smile and think about him. After class finished I grabbed my things and started walking to my other class. When I was walking down the hall at the end of it I could see XiaoJun talking to his friends and one other member YangYang from his group. Just laughing and having a good time. As I got closer I held my head down like I normally do, I walked by and he saw me pass by I then hear him call me, “Hey Dee!” I turned as I saw him tell his friends I’ll be right back. I looked passed his shoulder to see his friends look to see he was running to. I looked away but as he got there he came to me with a smile. “Hey Dee, I drew this for you.” He said as he handed me a small piece of paper with a drawing of me smiling at his drawings he showed me earlier. He then added, “thanks for keeping my secret” and left with a smile and a small wave right after.

The drawing was amazing and he was really detailed. He’s making me fall in love with him more and more. But I told myself to not fall for his kindness for him liking me or I’ll hurt myself than I already am. “Snap out of it Dee” I told myself. He was just returning the favor for keeping his secret.

The next day came and I had to get away from everyone so I went to my usual empty room to do more studying. I would catch myself stopping to glance at the picture he drew. “No Dee DON’T do this to yourself” I kept mumbling to myself to snap out of it that I didn’t even realize XiaoJun walked in. All I heard was a little giggle and “Who are you talking to?” I looked up and he’s standing in front of me smiling. “Oh sorry, I wasn’t talking to anyone.” I said shyly. “That was embarrassing” “Are you here to draw again?” I asked him. With a smile as he pulled out his book “Why yes I am” he began to draw while I continued to study.

“What do you like to do Dee?” He asked. I responded, “Well actually I love to draw too. I hope to be a designer some day.” He wanted to see some of the things I drew. I was embarrassed because it wasn’t as great as his drawings. “Oh come on he said let me see.” He said. So I slowly opened my book and showed him a few of the things I drew. He noticed I drew Moomin and smiled. “Is it ok if I have this?” He asked. I kind of stuttered before I answered him. “Oh...ok sure” he then smiled and went back to his sketchbook. Watching him draw made my heart melt. His smile stays as he draws, I knew this really made him feel like he could be free. After the bell rang for the next class he grabbed everything and as he said his goodbyes to me he smiled and waved goodbye.

When I was about to leave, I noticed he had forgotten his folder with some of his sketches. I thought maybe I can just give it to him when I go to my next class. As I walked out to the hallway I saw him talking to his friends again. So I slowly approached him as I got closer I can hear laughter in a little group he was with. “Eww what are you doing here?” I heard a voice say. As I looked up it was Bri one of the popular girls in school with XiaoJun and a few of his members. I quietly handed XiaoJun his folder “here you forgot this.” He then responds “oh thank you.” As his group giggles. I quickly started to walk away as I heard whispers “ok run along now troll.” I hated being in this school so much because of the amount of bullying that goes on constantly.

I know I should be used to it by now but when it came to Bri it really hurt. I think I was more jealous because of the fact she always got to hang out with XiaoJun. As time flew by school was done and I couldn't wait to go home and cry in the shower after another horrible day of school. My mom would never let me switch schools maybe because I never really gave her a good reason why I want to switch but if I told her the truth it just adds fuel to the fire so I just kept quiet. But I think what’s keeping me going to school is him. He was the only reason for me to look forward to a new day of school.

The next day came and I was looking forward to a new school day since I know I’ll be

seeing him again. That time came and as I was walking to the room we always went in I heard a girl giggling. As I got to the room I saw it was XiaoJun and Bri in there. He wasn’t drawing this time he was just in there talking to her. When I walked in I walked right back out. He noticed that I walked in and walked right back out. I heard him call out, “Hey wait Dee—“ but I kept walking and whispering of Bri’s voice “why are you calling that troll.” I started to tear up of that truthful comment. I am a troll and I’m too boring and ugly to be affiliated with XiaoJun.

When my next class was about to start after lunch I had to walk down the hallway where usually XiaoJun and his friends would be talking stories. As I walked down the hallway I noticed he was by himself. But the thing is I couldn’t get myself to smile, he was right there I should be happy. Class began and I needed to focus, forget about him I needed to pass this class so I can leave this horrible place. I stayed back to in class so I could finish my work, the professor allowed me to stay just as long as I cleaned up after which I didn’t mind. My head was so buried in my books I didn’t even notice someone sitting in the desk in front of me. I looked up to stretch my neck and finally saw who it was.

I slightly jumped up because I scared to see someone sitting there. It was XiaoJun “Oh my god I’m so sorry!” He said, “I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you heard me walk in.” He added. “No I didn’t im sorry. When I’m studying I don’t realize what’s around me unless I stop myself from doing what it is I’m doing.” I told him. He just smiled,”what are you doing anyway.” He asked. “I’m making my final draft of a cocktail dress I needed to design for my final project for my class.” I said. He then glanced down at my drawing and his eyes widened at the look of the dress. I noticed his expression and got scared “oh my god it’s ugly isn’t it?!” I continued to ramble on about my horrible drawing “ugh I knew it was ugly I need to—-“ he then interrupts me. “NO! It’s not it’s gorgeous!” He said with a huge smile. “This is amazing. Are you making it for yourself too? It would be wasted if you didn’t” I then looked at him then back at my drawing. “There’s no way I can pull this dress off with the way I look” I said with a sigh.

“What do you mean?” As he asked looking at me holding up the drawing next to my face. I began to turn red and snatched the drawing out of his hand. “I think you’d look great in this Dee.You should wear it to our school’s anniversary party! Are you going to go? I’m performing with my other member’s. You should come.” He added with a smile. I held my head down and said softly “no I won’t I’m a troll remember.” With the sudden silence as his smile became soft. “Don’t listen to Bri.” He said. “She may not seem like a nice person but deep down inside she’s really nice.” He added. It got silent. I went back to finish my drawing as he stood there awkwardly. And felt bad how the atmosphere became. He then grabbed a ball of paper he found on the ground and threw it in my direction hitting me on the head.

“Hey what the—“ I looked up and saw him smiling and giggling because he got me really good with the ball of paper. “Relax Dee!” He said “you’ll do just fine I have faith in you.” We sat in the room and just spoke about random things forgetting the nervousness I had with my project. Before we knew it the time was really late. “It’s dark outside, I think we should go home.” He said as we packed our things and left the school. We stepped outside and looked to see no one was around. “Do you live far from here Dee?” He asked. “Not really maybe a few blocks away” Pointing in the direction of where I live. “Oh really? I do too. Let’s walk together then” He said. “Oh--sure ok.” I replied shyly. As the night got darker we began to walk home.

                                  CHAPTER TWO COMING SOON....

[shipwrecknights]

SANDIPURWARA 2K19

Ok this is gonna be the longest post ever but i HAVE to write this so bear with me

My annual school theatre production just ended yesterday and the post production blues are at an all-time high. I am terrible at farewells; I’m not a very sentimental guy, not very expressive and I can’t articulate affection well without preparation first. This isn’t my first production, in fact it’s my fourth. I have literally been through this every year for four years in a row and every time it hits hard but this year the feeling is nearly overwhelming. My family and friends always ask my why i keep going back, seeing that the trainings take so much out of me every year. But the fact is, they will never understand. The love that i receive in return from this production....my god. These people are really my family. Never have i met a group of people so easy to talk to, to confide in, who complains so much about having to train and yet come back every day and give it their 80% (lol). I am SO thankful that they are in my life. I’ve watched this project grow over the years and these people have also watched me grow; from an actor in Ziarah and Cinta Mawar, to a scriptwriter in Kalbu and finally a stage manager in Sandipurwara. In 2015 i was a boy with literally no friends in uni, no interest at all in Malay theatre and now I have a 50+ pax strong family gained over the years. In no particular order, these are just some of the people that made Sandipurwara so special for me: To the PDs: Thank you for pulling me into this show. I was adamant about joining intro this year because i felt that i had to move on in life, and that 3 years was a nice number to leave at. When Halijah texted me (nearly begging) to take up the role as ASM, I just thought what the heck. She is my friend and I should help. Halijah and i met in 2016 during Ziarah. We were both cast members and we weren’t close close, but close enough to joke around every day. I always thought she was hilarious. And a very talented actor. She’s the kind of person that makes everyone in the room laugh with her crazy antics, even when the mood is tense, which was almost always the case. I always say to her “Tu lah siapa suruh jadi PD,” not to mock her capability, but just as a running joke because we were always one of the lazy ones who just wanted to go for smoke breaks during training. And yet there she was this year leading the whole ass project. She has balls. The shit that she went through this year. I feel so sorry for always being honest with you, about your leadership style, about the first script that we all turned down, for always replying to you in a stern, I’m-pissed-off manner. You don’t deserve all that. But I’m honest because I always knew you could be better. Four years is a long time!!! You are essentially like my baby sister now. I hope we can hang out more often, go to gigs together maybe. Anyways you fucking did it jah. I couldn’t be more proud of you, couldn’t be more proud to have worked under you. Some people were skeptical when you wanted to be PD but you definitely proved them wrong. I will never forget you and Zu during Ziarah, acting in the training room at block A level 5, getting scolded by Abang Mok, and crying, and STILL continuing the comedy scene. All with tears rolling down your face. Fuck. You were trying so hard and that made me wanna cry too. Congrats Jah. I love you so much and thank you for everything. (anyways emo night pe) As for Naj, we also met in 2016. She acted as the mother of my best friend in the show, and she really suited the role LOL kidding. But Naj is a good actor and dancer, AND a brilliant admin person, something that I can never do ever. What i like about her the most is that she is quiet, takes all the shit she receives and just get the work done without much noise. Basically the opposite of us all. This year she took up the role of APD, and did it while still being herself. I’ve always respected her, seeing her take up so many important roles the past few years. Someone once said to me, Naj is like one of the most senior person here, starting all the way from Iman, but never once did she mention that or use it as a way to assert her seniority. Thank you Naj. The world needs more humble + hardworking people like you <3 And then there’s Shakir. Fucking hell, where do i start. I wasn’t too fond of you when I first met you. Your face and mouth sometimes really mintak kene rembat. But one day it really hit me (and it upset me quite a bit): YOU ARE JUST LIKE ME. Hahahaha fuck we were both cursed with the dying need to speak our minds and filter absolutely nothing. I guess from that day on I just learnt to tolerate your shit because I understand you. You’re probably the most articulate guy in all the intros (but not in malay obviously). Even though your rhyming poems are corny as hell, I respect that you always speak to us in such a concise and inclusive manner, always try to get your opinion across as tactfully as possible, always thinking of how others would feel, even when you’re an insensitive fuck deep down. You always try to mingle with all the departments, which makes it look like you’re friendly, but we all know you just don’t want to feel FOMO. You are the APD that no one wanted but we all NEED. I’m glad we got a bit closer this year because I feel that being so alike, we can learn a lot from each other. Its a shame we didn’t get to see the Jacket Pelacur ™ this year, but we all know you’re busy making moves silently and to that I wish you all the best. I will never forget out stressful trip finding paint and kain, the girls searching for our felt pads while we stand around doing nothing at Spotlight, and you asking me about haram keropok at Daiso wihle I’m almost crying about the damn skirting. Also, good luck with your stint as the MCMS president. You are the first malay-muslim club president that constantly sleeps in girl’s laps, says the f-word, says Bismillah at the end of a speech instead of the beginning, and changes pants at the storage area without the conscience of even closing the door. You do you bro. I will pray that you see the light and be a better person, but thank you for constantly checking up on me and always being a brother. Love you bro #idkmanidk

To my SM Irfan: Bro. Brooooooo. You are one helluva guy. Sometimes I felt that you were overemotional about many things, something that an insensitive guy like me could never understand. But the more you opened up to me, the more I learnt to understand that you just have a very big heart. You get stressed very easily by very small things people say. But that always pushed you to work harder. I always look at you working so hard to plan our PT/crew sessions, and yet some nights you text me shit like im sorry, i feel like im not doing enough as an SM. BRUH. Kau stop it. But that really sums up what kinda person you are. Truly a humble guy that just wants to go around spreading joy to people with his lame-ass puns. I couldn’t have had a better partner. It was tough doing SM things with no third ASM, and come to think of it we been through so many obstacles that only you and I know about. Constantly texting each other about the shit we have yet to do and don’t know how to do, skyping till 3am at night when there’s training at 10am the next morning. It was a great learning process working alongside you. When we hugged just before the last show, you immediately started to cry and that made me tear up, so I pulled away and got the fuck away from you because I didn’t wanna cry as hard. We are two very ugly criers. I am truly sorry if i have ever wronged you, went away to smoke while you’re busy doing stage work, raised my voice at you, and especially sorry that I made you plan all the PT sessions by yourself. I’m sorry if i ever made your life more stressful. Thank you for showering the crew babies with so much love and attention on my behalf. I think your leadership was more than sufficient and that without you, this show couldn’t have been what it was. Love you Erphie baby To Fitri: FITTTTT. I think you were the one who pulled me into auditioning for the first production in 2016. I rmb just randomly coming to the audition and you were being over-appreciative, thanking me for coming haha. You’ve been there for me right from the start. Always supporting me in everything I do, no matter how shitty my acting was, and no matter how bad I was at script writing. You really are the mother of Introspeksi. But you are also like my sister, my teacher, my maid, my best friend, and my girlfriend (rarely). Truly the MVP of Introspeksi, you always selflessly help the PDs and casts every single year, shower us with love and push us to grow. I love that you always tell us to renew our niat whenever we come for training in order to help us get through the exhaustion, the scoldings, and everything negative. I feel sad whenever you get scolded by Abang Mok because I know you’re just trying your hardest to prolong the legacy of this special project. Even though you’re not the pioneer PD of Intro, I feel that you’re the one that started this big family because thanks to you we’re all involved in this crazy business. There’s really nothing I can do to repay you so I’ll just say thank you, for making my life in uni much much better. Continue being the strong, independent and ambitious woman that you are and I’m very sure you’ll be very successful one day. Love you Fit you’re my idol <3

To Zahir: My man. Another person that I’ve been through so much with. I miss our days with izzah and the bebs, sitting at the skatepark and under void decks till 3am, literally laughing till we cry. Those days I will never forget. Acting alongside you in Cinta Mawar, playing two really redundant roles, was also a fun experience although you were upset that your scenes were cancelled on show day hahaha. I knew you always wanted to act some more ever since that show. And then there’s Kalbu, writing the script with you was one hell of an experience, kita kene kecam every training by everyone, script lambat script lambat, script lambat macam cb. (f u shakir) No one knew how hard it was to write such a serious script under close scrutiny of two PDs, numerous advisors, and ofc Abang Mok. And yet I think we managed to have some, if not most, of our ideas remain in the final cut of the script and I’m still very proud of that. I’m sorry for all the times I scolded you, saying you weren’t putting in enough effort, etc. This year you finally got casted as a main and bro I’m so fucking proud of you. Wasn’t confident with your acting at first but during the show, as i watch you and Hidhir from the side curtain, i thought to myself, damn these guys r really trying so hard and it’s really paying off. Your role was really made for you and I’m so happy that your goofing off on stage actually made the show 10x more entertaining. Dalam diam, you’ve contributed so much to the club, and introspeksi, and you did it all while always making everyone laugh. You’re really a one-of-a-kind friend and we all love you. Didn’t really get to show my appreciation to you after Kalbu (idk why we all never post anything) but bro thank you for everything, thanks for the hard work, thanks for all the laughs, for the lepak/jam sessions, the (two) fitspo sessions, for the subtle looks/touches whenever a cute girl is nearby. No matter how rarely we meet I’ll always treasure this friendship man I love you (I ain’t never gonna stop loving you....biiitch) To Jannah: I know I didn’t spend as much time with you this year as I did in the last, but you know I love you janz. Everyone keeps pulling out the “mana nak lepak dgn kita lagi” shit on me, but you were always impartial and the most cool about it. I hope you know that I cherish our time together from Cinta Mawar and Kalbu, no matter how much we drift apart. Anyways congratulations for another brilliant year in acting. From the start, I knew you were our only hope for the cast. You have always been disciplined, practicing at home, staying in character, doing research, coming on time every training, etc. Your dedication to Intro always impresses me. You, Durr, Win, Zahir and me went through so much crazy shit man in Kalbu. I will never forget. All the passive aggressive texts, trying to get me and Zahir to buck tf up, us not meeting all the script deadlines, sharing personal stories with each other, writing the script at Woodlands AND the masjid till 5am, and all the laughter. So much laughter was shared. It feels like there was no proper closure for Kalbu, cos the four of us never really showed our appreciation to each other/say our farewell properly. No idea why. But well here it is now. Thank you Jannah for everything. You were the first person to make me cry backstage before the final Sandi show. Kau just masalah, aku tengok muka kau je nak nangis. AND even when the final show started, when I saw you singing so enthusiastically (and badlly) at the handheld mic on stage left, swaying left to right even when no one was watching, man that made me tear up too. Never stop being you, the kind-hearted, sisterly figure that everyone feels comfortable being with. Lepak soon, love you baby girl <3 To Durr-baby/daddy: What a guy you are. Even though you’re younger, I’ve always looked up to you from the start. Wise beyond your years, you’ve always been that calming voice for when I’m stressed out with Intro. You always help us out so selflessly, sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable/guilty thinking about it. But its ok because you always show how sincere you are when lending a hand. This year, you’re just an advisor, who doesn’t need to come that often. But yet you attend every training, stood alongside Irfan and I, almost playing the role as the third SM. I appreciate every time you take charge and give out instructions to the crew when you notice that I’m stressed out/can’t lead very well. And you do all this without overstepping any boundaries, always respectful to the two of us. And to think you were and APD and VP of the club last year. If all future exco members follow in your footsteps, i’m sure MCMS will breed an amazing group of individuals. Tapi kau pun satu masalah. I clearly said don’t go behind and see Jannah, you will cry. Kau pergi jugak. Kau just nak semua orang nangis dengan kau hahahahahahahaha its ok bro i understand crying hURTS SO GOOD. Thank you Durr for the countless nights of sending everyone home even when you’re exhausted. Thank you for always keeping me and Irfan grounded in chaotic times. Thank you for the kekek times at stage left, staring at the transitions with me and shakir like its visual ganja, muttering those two comforting words into my ear, “double pivot”, and for always reminding me and everyone that letting out our feelings is fucking important to survive. Love you durrbaby stay sweg A special shoutout to the new friends I made this year, Hidhir and Junie. Ya’ll are just gerek. Thank you for joining our intro family even when you really didn’t need to, and for giving your all for every scene. Firstly I have to say y’all (+ Zahir and Hazeeq) made our saturday mornings a living hell. Wake up late, sick, heavy traffic, phone died, and all the cock reasons ya’ll gave. It got to the point that Junie gave me her house number to call her mum to wake her??? Just hal. Sampai show day dia lambat, faham eh. But anyways. I’m so glad you two decided to join this year. Thank you for being so easy to talk to, as a sister and brother, thanks to Hidhir for welcoming us into his home that one fateful night, for always spreading love and hugs and being emotional as fuck during debriefs. Thank you Junie for being so open with us, always sharing your stories, even tho we never ask. Thanks for pushing yourself even with all the heavy criticism from the directors. If you need your mic box to be checked again, just hmu. To Hazeeq, you alr helped us last year in Kalbu, but this year returned again as another main cast. The best part about Hazeeq is that he is friends with e v e r y o n e and always goes around the room to have conversations with every single person. Proper friendly guy, I’m gonna miss your hugs and kisses every night and your “Sorry I’m sorry....she correct.....I wrong.” Stay gold my brotha, a guy like you is not easy to find so pls make sure you never change.

Last but definitely not the least, my CREW BABIES. Y’all are surely an odd bunch, all randomly coming to help our production. But ya’ll are the best crew I’ve ever seen in my 4 years here!!! Never complaining, even when you come to training and do absolutely nothing. Always understanding towards me and Irfan, listening to what we say, and helping out when we don’t know what to say. Working so hard on the sets and props, ya’ll are always on autopilot and didn’t need us to guide you all the time. Thank you Alfiera (you basic bimbo bish), Aliah, D.Hadi, Hadi Shy, Haziq (ma man), Sheeda, Syazwani (non-tudung), Syaza Aliah (my twine girl u saved my life every show ily) and Zana (my only stage left buddy). I love you all I swear. Special shoutout to DIBO DEE, Dibo baby thank you so much for all your help. You’re so crafty and creative and calm and cool when you do work. I love how your voice changes when its time for serious work and how you go around spreading love and giving sweets to everyone. Can never forget the moaning sounds that erupted from your phone during our dry run hahaha U STAY COOL DIBO ILY. And!!! Special special shoutout to my 3 fav crew girls: Rania, Wani and Sofiyah!!! Idk if ya’ll are my adiks or girlfriends but rest assured I love being around you guys and i’m glad we got close thru this show. You’re all too damn young but trust me if i could I’d marry all of you HAHA. To Rania, thanks for being a walking meme factory, I still can’t believe i’m friends with a 19 year old ffs. But hey you have great taste in music just like me. We can have a date lying down on the beach while listening to the XX and Arcade Fire one day ok. Thanks for shaving your legs for me, calling me every day to pray subuh (I don’t deserve you) and for being so candid about yourself to me. I’ll text you if i’m 30 and single ok pls be my backup plan. God bless you baby girl i love you. To Wani, sorry for saying that you’re too emotional when ya’ll were upset after getting shit for wardrobe things. But you’re so cute when you’re mad?? Hahaha and sorry for saying that you’re conservative (tho there’s nothing wrong with that) just because you’re a madrasah girl. Actually you’re pretty open about everything. Thanks for being a kind hearted person, always looking out for me, and putting up with the nonsense that me and Shakir talk about. Love you Wani if you miss me just hmu and I’ll be there. To Sofiyah, uuuu fuckin’ weirdo. I love how casual you are about everything and how I don’t have to think of what I say around you. Also, I admire how you always kept your shit together even when people were shitting on you about wardrobe things. Thank you for picking up the role despite having no experience in past Introspeksis. You did great man. Continue to participate in the coming years and I hope you get a guy as meaty as Hidhir or has a nice body like mine (#2 best body). Please curb your thirst for skinship and kembali ke jalan yang benar. Hahahahahaha love u Soffy baby see u soon xx And to everyone else, those unmentioned, please know that I love you guys too. Nana, Shaik, Yus and Aishah y’all are my seniors who i look up to whenever we’re doing a show and your knowledge and advice are always valuable to us. I always see you guys as who we’re supposed to grow into in the field of arts, even tho korang berbual merepek 75% of the time. Nana your play-flirting makes me turn off my comms headset but you’re an amazing amazing actor, SM, PD, and now lights technician. My respect for you has always been 10/10. This year you never shout at me, very good. Aishah, your acting has always been crazy good and this year you reminded us again. Thanks for being the big sister figure to all of us babies, while at the same time spewing inappropriate sexual nonsense 24/7. You da besttt. Shaik and Yus, thanks for being the big bros that i never had, always so cool and quiet but so talented with the music. And of course the musicians, who practice so hard every day, hitting the rebana till your hands bruise, coming early everyday to go through every riff/melody/tune and taking all the new ideas from Abang Mok and giving it life. Y’all are so amazing and you continue to be the best part of our shows every time. The dancers, I watched you guys train from the start!!!! Honestly it was very scrappy at first, and you guys went through so much drama and changes and getting shouted at, and of course injuries. All the bandages and patches and ankle guards were worth it cos you guys were amazing on show night, I know because I watched from the side curtain every time. Love the fight song number so much <3 For the rest of the cast, those with supporting roles, ya’ll were equally amazing and some of you even with one scene got an ovation from the crowd. Thank you for the hard work day in day out despite not landing a major role; your patience and understanding made the show what it was; a gathering of unique characters from different walks of life all for a single purpose.

Finally, I’m really sorry if i have wronged anyone in any way, which i prolly have. I love all my friends and never have any intention to hurt them. This shit that we did together was SO special and people will never understand the bond that’s been forged here so I hope these friendships lasts for as long as they possibly can. What Yus said was spot on: there is no “final year” or “last show” because Introspeksi is a family and you can never run away from that :’) Ok PEACE OUT ILY’ALL

[valhalla-awaitsfor-us]

My goodbye to Voltron

Hi guys! Some of you know me, some of you don't, but my name is Sol I've been on this fandom since the end of season 2, Im -or was- a Plance shipper and I'm graduated in filmmaking.

I'm a peaceful person by nature so I'm not writing this to generate any type of conflict, I just need to get it off my chest. So, these are my thought on season 8, but mostly on Voltron as a whole. This is my personal journey through the serie and is something that I feel the need to post somewhere because I crave closure. Spoiler: Is not nice. So if you liked this season, or if you just want to avoid any type of rant. Please don't read this.

Ok, here we go:

Thoughts on Season 8:

Just why?

Plot? weak Characters? Totally out of characters

Just why. 

I watch the first 2 episodes and I just couldnt  go through the whole season. For the first time in my life I couldn't end a serie. I talked with some people so i know what happened... but damn. What a mess.

Shiro was almost like a background character. And the original backfroundcharcaters, instead of growing up and have a moment to shine, they simply vanished. I we could have seen more of Hunk... but I was expecting this. He was an important character on season 7... so I guess thats all for him.  Keith giving pep talks?mmm... I mean, it could be? But it still pretty weird. I sounded like a fanfiction...Pidge was... was such a nerd stereotype. Her character ended up being two dimensional. And yeah, sure, I wanted Plance... but beyond that, it would be nice to see for once the  nerd character have feelings. Sure, she cared for her family... but after she found them her plot was over. She just stood there and give a lot of info, like in a exposition. We get it, she is smart. Youve been telling us that for 8 season. And then there's Lance, who was promised a great arc.... and yeah, that didn't happen. His arc was what? Have a gf? His insecurities magically disappeared because he get to be with the girl fo his dreams? And this comes for a person who dosent ship Allurance BUT who think her little date was cute as hell. Just... no.

And finally... Allura.

I could never connect with her... why?I don't know, probably because her 3 main features were:  being a diplomat, being loved by everyone and suffering... she did had her moments...but I could count with the fingers of one hand the times on the show where she was actually happy or just being goofy and having a good time. Thats bullshit, and it isnt fair... But you wanna know what it also NOT fair? Killing her like that.Is messed up. Just why?

The villains motivations were exaggerated. (Haggar actually had her son dead body on that robot, like what the fuck) I feel like they solve everything with the power of friendship  and the whole thing was a big example of deus ex machina.

Also: Shiro wedding? really? that... that isnt... god, I just cant.

And finally, the biggest what the hell of the whole season:

Lance alteans marks.

How why and when?

Is he an Altean now? Why? How does it work? The power of true love or what? Don't throw us random stuff to us and then leave without any explanation. This mean that Lance have altean blood? Or Allura love turn him into al Altean?  Guys, you are writing a show and this is not a continuity error. This could change the characters story and consequently the whole plot. Is some random and just a big nonsense to put something like that on the final season and dont even have the decency of give an explanation.  So now Lance is gonna outlive his family and friends? Is that a real thing? Wow, how wonderful.

Oh and wait, The Lions just flew away ... like..what...why... Guys you are not even trying, thats lazy writing at it best.

Thoughts on Voltron:

Here we go.

I preferred character driven writing above plot driven writing anyday... and personally I think Voltron could have had a really nice balance between the both of them. But they screwed up their characters and then they also screwed up their plot.

After season 2 the show started to lose it quality. That just a cold fact. And I dare to say that it was because they stop focusing on the relationships between the paladin (just take Keith and Allura for example. They had the perfect oportunity the create a great bond between the two of them after season 2... and they just didnt care. AT ALL)... but ofc, it could also be because the plot started to lose sense. Who knows.

But I stayed. I stayed for season 3, and 4 and 5, and 6. Why? Because the great voice actors and the amazing storyboard artists, digital animators, ... the crew was fantastic. But  after season 7 I lost hope, and season 8 was a mess. With bring me to point out this: The people who says "Don't be an anti, if you don't like it go create you own content". I get it, I really don't like ants, they just awful... but Im point out facts and trying to explain why Im so dissapointed in a show that actually helped me a lot when I was feeling terrible with my life.And the thing is. I AM TRYING TO CREATE MY OWN CONTENT. In a graduated in filmmaking, and working my ass off to have a job on the industry, and I'm actually writing a script for an animated movie. But is hard.

  And the simply true is this: JDS and LM are designers, not writers.  I know they have talent... but again: They . are.  not . writers.  So yeah, I cant help but feel like thats a little unfair for people like me who actually studied for years to become a scriptwriter. Because here the thing: to have a good show you need to have a good script, you need to know the tone of the story you are trying to tell and you need to know your characters inside and out .And here is the trick: you need to show us all that, instead of telling us about it.

We all know that Voltron could have been the next Avatar... but ended up being just was another show with a big budget. And that's sad.

Here are some perosnal things that I cant beleive they didnt touch on the series:

-Keith almost dying for the greatest good.

-Lance actually dying.

-The whole friendship between the paladins never really show... is always just told  to us “yay, they are best friends” but not once they actually talk about their feeling, about their lifes, etc.

-I could talk about why plance make a lot more sense, especially because their stories arcs really compliment each other and help them grow as a individual characters... But whats the point.

-Axca ended up being just there.

-Lance having an altean sword? uh... hello?

-Lance explaity saying  that he is from cuba but never speaking in spanish. Thanks for that latino representtion Voltron, I loved it.

- Shiro becoming a background character.

Anyway, it used to be a greta show and I'm always gonna be thankful to help me on my darkest time... but I'm glad is over.

Now lest forget about the last 3 seasons and be happy. 

[wannasoftimagine]

imagine being daehwi’s friend on p101 s3

a trainee after his own heart :’)

(( AS REQUESTED! // i love ur writing !! can i get a daehwi scenario where you guys are best friends bc you're also a trainee from brand new music and you participate in pd101 s3 and come in 3rd place like him,, and he confesses to you afterwards bc he's so proud of you ?? as fluffy as possible pls and thank u have a great day/night 💓 ))

u and daehwi have known each other ever since u became a trainee at bnm

altho u were a little intimidated at first, he was always ready to approach u with friendly tips and a smile, so it was only a matter of time before u became best friends

hes the type of friend to hype u up whenever u step on stage

(ure p sure one time he came to a performance w a sign tht said u were the “inventor of rap” lol)

u can both b super extra when ure supporting each other tbh

to u guys, theres nothing too grand or too extreme to express how proud u are of each other

of course when u decide to enter produce 101 for the 3rd season, hes super excited for u

(hes also super nervous but he doesnt want u to know tht)

he gives u constant tips and advice, always guiding u

“be careful of their editing,, evil mnet is no joke”

daehwi sends u so much support tht even when u cant contact each other once the filming starts, u know he’s cheering u on

and listen. the show is STRESSFUL

daehwi already knew how hard it could be so he kinda didnt want u to go on it

but he also wanted u to show off how talented u were?? what a struggle

ur initial performance was with a couple labelmates, some girls u were close with but now super comfortable with

u did a song tht daehwi helped produce bc hes a king of music and u adore everything he makes

anyways

ure proud to say tht u gave it all, and u end up with a b ranking

its not as good as daehwi, but ure still rlly proud of urself

as the days go on, things only get more and more stressful

bc of how well so many of the s2 boys did, this season everything is 1000x as intense bc they want to make sure tht only the most talented people move on

as hard as it is, u step up to the challenge, practicing as much as u can whenever u can

still, sometimes ull see other ppl struggling

even tho theyre not from the same company as u, u have the kind of heart tht makes u want to try and help them even if just a little

at first it was a little awkward for u to offer advice to the other trainees, but with everyone cramped and tired together, its hard not to start to bond

soon enough, word spreads abt how ure one of the sweetest and hardworking trainees in the competition, and it sends a huge boost in ur popularity

it helps tht ure cute as heck and a lot of fans noticed how brightly ur smile was even before the first ep aired

altho ure not super close with any one person in particular, a lot of the girls there are super friendly so its easy for u to drift around to hang out with different groups

mnet seems to love u bc when u watch some episode clips, they show how ure always flitting around and seem like a v popular trainee

plus theyve decided to highlight u as one of the rising stars of the show, editing clips to show off the amount of time u practice and improve, even from ur already-amazing initial performance

ure super lucky and u dont forget it

but ure still pretty sure tht all of daehwis advice from beforehand helped u a lot

u dont get a lot of time to think abt him tho, just bc everything moves so fast in the competition

still, sometimes when ure trying to rest after another long day of practice, u cant help but reminisce on some of ur more playful and relaxed memories with daehwi

somehow, word didnt really get out abt how close u two were until midway thru the season

it wasnt like u were intentionally keeping it a secret, but it didnt rlly come up for awhile

not when u were all busy just trying to get some airtime and become a better idol

anyways

when word gets out, all of the other girls are So Jealous

luckily for u everyones really sweet and only tease u abt it instead of being jerks

still, now a lot of them are asking u for his number

tbh although u and daehwi had never talked abt it, u dont remember him saying tht he ever liked anyone

and honestly, u didnt rlly think abt him dating someone until girls were coming up to u left and right, asking what he was like

with time, everyone calms down a little bit, but ure left trying to focus on practice instead of why the thought of him dating someone else bothers u so much

(its hard bc u know exactly why ure upset, but u dont know what ure going to do abt it)

mOVING ON

u rlly cant talk to daehwi often, but there are some occasions where the p101 staff let u make a phone call

if ure not calling ur family, u always use it to call him

u use the limited time to catch up, and he always showers u in support and compliments, telling u how hes watching every ep when it airs and is cheering u on

even tho u cant see him, u can imagine the way he smiles as he says it, and its enough to make u smile as well

as the days and performances move on u get closer and closer to the final stage

u havent always been at the top of the rankings, but uve still been doing pretty well esp recently w all of the positive attention tht uve been getting

u make it to the finale, and u cant help but hold ur breath the entire time

in this mass of people in the audience, its impossible to make out anyones faces, so u cant recognize if anyone came to support u

u cant help but hope tht somehow daehwi made it, but u know hes been so busy with his own practicing tht he probably doesnt have time

theres a section of past p101 winners somewhere else, but its even further away and harder to see with all of the bright lights

the next couple of hours go by both achingly slow and annoyingly fast

as the names slowly start to get called, u watch with a heavy heart as more and more people are cheered their way on to safety

honestly ure still kinda surprised tht u made it this far, since u started out only hoping to gain experience and a vague fanbase with the show

but now tht ure here, u cant help but hope tht u make it to the end

despite everything u find urself cheering on the other girls whenever theyre announced as a finalist

everyones crying and ure no better tbh

its getting to the top, just before they decide to go back and announce the final member of the group, and ur ranking of 10 last week suddenly seems far too low, esp as 3rd place is about to be announced

then out of nowhere, ur name is called

ur hands are shaking and u keep looking around bc is this rlly happening?? but everyones screaming and hugging u and ure like ??????????

u cant even string together proper thoughts at this point

somehow u make it to the other stage where one of the staff puts a microphone in ur hands and the cameras are all aimed towards u

honestly half the things u say are just random words of gratitude or names tht u can never forget

ur busy telling ur parents, rhymer, all the other girls, ur fans, abt how much u love them, tht for a second somehow u almost forget abt daehwi

thts when ur gaze flickers to a screen in the stadium where the camera is focused on daehwi cheering and tearing up from his spot somewhere w some of the other p101 boys

of course u have to end it with a “lee daehwi!!! i love u too!!!!!!!” bc even if u know most ppl will take it platonically, ure not sure if he’ll see it the same way

(u dont even know if u want him to or not)

u say one last thank u before ure practically skipping over to ur seat and u cant help but think tht ure SO HIGH UP

still, now tht u know where daehwi is, even tho u cant make out his face, u feel ur heart stutter knowing that he’s there cheering for u

the rest of the night goes by in a blur honestly

as soon as ure all let backstage to meet up w ur family/friends, u find urself being tackled by a combination of familiar faces

daehwi is laughing into ur side, arm slung around ur shoulder, as ur parents try to congratulate u thru their tears, and uve never felt happier

after an embarrassingly long time of hugging and crying, daehwi manages to pull u to a slightly less crowded and loud area

n hes like “listen,, y/n,,,, u know im rlly proud of u too right?? like i love u a lot”

and ure not even thinking abt what u said in ur speech, just nodding along happily bc above all else, daehwi is still ur best friend

but he looks at u and he cant rlly stop smiling either, but he grabs u by the shoulders to say “no, i rlly love u a lot”

so ure like “okay??? and??????”

and he keeps staring at u with this stupid grin on his face and then it hits u and ure like “oh. oH. OH!!!!!!”

so ure both just smiling at each other like idiots n ure like “i think i love u too??”

at tht he has this mock-offended face like “u THINK”

but ure both so so happy teasing each other and feeling like ure both on top of the world

tbh u spend so long standing there and giggling tht ur parents eventually drag u away from ur private spot bc “u cant stand there grinning forever” and “ur bf isnt the only one whos proud of u!!!”

ure both embarrassed but its impossible for either of u to wipe the smiles off of ur faces

u all spend the rest of the day celebrating and enjoying each others company and the company of the rest of ur family/friends, and u cant help but think tht this is one of the best moments of ur life

[yeoldontknow]

ayo bae it’s time to get lit~

what follows below is an introduction (attack) post for @igot7bangtanbaes, who has dipped her toe into the EXO water and now i would like to drown her. :3

as light of my life Kim Junmyeon once said:

LET’S GET HEATED

when EXO debuted, there originally were 12 members and they were divided into two subgroups: EXO-K and EXO-M. three members have left, so now we are left with an OT9 (but i still cherish the hell out of the past three members, they are important). eight of the members are korean and only one is chinese, so now it is time to meet your new kings. going youngest to oldest (and also because you seem hella hyped for sehun so imma start there)

Oh Sehun

the king of hearts (everyone’s heart tbh)

Name: Oh Sehun

Stage Name: Sehun

DOB: April 12, 1994

Position: (1/2) main rapper, (1/3) lead dancer, occasional vox (least we forget when he sang baek’s part in I Sing For You??)

facts as stated in the GC: maknae of the group, but also a model like he’s a prince from a different time. he often models for louis vuitton and has had spreads in vogue and marie claire, and like...he’s a king. actually, he is the lord to a small plot of land in scotland because his fans are The Most Extra and bought him goddamn Title for his birthday i cannot even. loads of people think he’s really cold and kinda stand-offish because he has the strongest resting bitch face, but he is The Biggest Softie and so Sweet. once got injured during a tour and cried, not because he couldn’t perform or that it hurt but, because he absolutely did not want to let his fans down and felt horrible. dog dad to Vivi, a white fluff made of joy. if you throw vivi replica plushies on stage at him, he will make it a point to collect them all like they are pokemon. dances like an actual rent boy and is overall, an Excellent Bias (im 90% sure this is where you will live but imma keep going to be sure).

Kim Jongin

the king of hell

Name: Kim Jongin

Stage Name: Kai

Birthday: January 14, 1994

Position: (2/3) lead dancer; rapper; vox; visual

a devil/demon here to wreck your life and smile while doing it. tbh, jongin aka nini and kai are two very different people. jongin is a soft boy. he has a silly low laugh that vibrates through his whole body and turns his mouth into a massive circle. he gets shy super easily and is always smiling. loves teddy bears, flower crowns, and fried chicken. is father to three dogs that he calls his children (no subs here just look at the smiles and cry a lot). kai on the other hand is just a torpedo of sexual tension and muscles on his abs where i didn’t know muscles could be. will smirk at you and watch with a grin as you light on fire in the aftermath. once danced so hard he destroyed his shoe. moves his hips like its a gun and you are his target. studied dance for years because that’s all he wants to do, is best friends with SHINee’s taemin. recently started acting because LOOK AT HIS FACE?? like, wow so beautiful. he is art. also super proud of how dark his skin is, which is considered v-dark culturally in korea and hopes that his children will have his skin tone, what a babe. 

DO Kyungsoo

the king of souls

Name: DO Kyungsoo

Stage Name: D.O

Birthday: January 12, 1993

Position: main vocalist

nicknamed satansoo because he takes no shit and always looks like he’d happily kill a man if it meant he could have one day of peace. very close with jongin, has a large soft spot for him (jongin may be the only person soo hasn’t actively wanted to slap). called satansoo but actually a Soft Boy; domestic AF. boy cooks (often cooks for the members), loves to read, routinely dates himself, and is very humble and kind. has a smile that can light up the earth with the force of its power. sings like an angel but is also seductive like a demon. rich chocolate vocal tones and a soft speaking voice, amazing actor. out here winning awards for his acting in recent films like boy!!

Park Chanyeol

the king of the chogidab

Name: Park Chanyeol

Stage Name: Chanyeol

Birthday: November 27, 1992

Position (under me): (2/2) main rapper; vocalist; the voice of exo; songwriter!!!; general overall talent

i will do my absolute best to keep this brief. this boy is my ult and i could wax poetic about him until the inevitable heat death of the universe. part of the beagle line with baekhyun and jongdae, cannot sit still nor control his limbs. generally is the no dance line but tries His Best and is so adorable while doing it. might not be able to dance well but does literally everything else. piano? you got it. guitar? he literally played radiohead. moog synthesizer? bought one because he could and thought it would be cool. vocals? allow me to show you his soundcloud. please live and die here. writes songs, is working his way through the athletic alphabet, raps like A Man, famously said ‘you lovin’ the size.’ once said ‘i’m yours’ on a radio station and the entire country got pregnant. overall soft boy who looks like it hurts to laugh, like it causes him physical pain to keep joy inside. amazing with kids. 

Kim Jongdae

the king of smiles

Name: Kim Jongdae

Stage Name: Chen

Birthday: May 6, 1992

Position: main vocalist

A TRUE KING OK. part of the beagle line with PCY and baekhyun. when he smiles his face is literally :} = has The Best Mouth. doesn’t think junmyeon is very funny but is simultaneously really soft for him, and will usually be among the first to praise him. is actually married to minseok - super close and have the most beautiful friendship. a literal actual ball of energy, loud as shit, and usually yelling WHY?? when he has no liquid left in his body and is sweating out his soul, he will still scream. insanely strong, stable vocals. i repeat: insanely. strong. vocals. also, coming hard for dance-line. part of EXO sub unit EXO-CBX with baekhyun and minseok. 

Byun Baekhyun

king of hoeing (idk ask @kpopfanfictrash)

Name: Byun Baekhyun

Stage Name: Baekhyun

Birthday: May 6, 1992

Position: main vocalist; also coming for the dance line

proudly gets to hold the position of tallest member of EXO-CBX. auditioned at the same time as jongdae and is know for his enthusiastic dancing. jongin once said that when he saw baek dancing it was a mess, and baek confirmed this by saing ‘it looked like mollusks dancing.’ body is double jointed and when he extends his arms it, they look like lightning bolts; thinks this might also be a disease but is ok with it. voice of literal, actual angels. looks better in smoky eye makeup than most models and is king of selfies. literally taught fans how to take a selfie. once was on instagram live and made me stare at a damn wall for 30 minutes before playing yixing’s solo album. 

Zhang Yixing

king of the entire universe

Name: Zhang Yixing

Stage Name: Lay

Birthday: October 7, 1991

Position: (3/3) lead dancer; vocalist; light of everyone’s life

even if you aren’t a soft person, you are soft for yixing. it’s one of the laws of the universe, you will always be soft for him. im going to raise an unpopular opinion and announce that i often find i prefer watching yixing dance over everyone else. when his body moves, it’s perfect into a literal art and i cry every time. the last remaining chinese member of EXO and must be protected at. all. costs. was a child actor in china before wanting to become an idol. if he could play any character in a movie, he’d like to play a dinosaur or the villain. was once told that if he wanted to improve his korean he needed to get a girlfriend. writes his own songs and plays guitar. his solo debut was the highest sales of a solo album in south korea, can you even believe. generally made of sunshine and light and love and MUST BE PROTECTED. 

Kim Junmyeon

king of money

Name: Kim Junmyeon

Stage Name: Suho

Birthday: May 22, 1991

Position: leader of EXO; vocalist

trained the longest of any member! trained for seven (7) years before making his debut with EXO, resulting in him training with most of SHINee. makes awful dad jokes and has an oddball sense of humour, but we cherish him anyway. secretly keeping abs beneath his soft tee shirts. nicknamed junmoney because he treated a lot of the members in their early days when they didn’t have money, and now they all think he’s rich. the doorman at his apartment calls him Handsome Man. messiest member but also among the most humble. always makes sure to thank everyone at awards ceremonies, refusing to leave anyone who helped them out. great at math. has a solo song called curtain that literally brought me and most of the people i know to tears within the first 90 seconds. 

Kim Minseok

king of kitties

Name: Kim Minseok

Stage Name: Xiumin

Birthday: March 26, 1990

Position: vocals; sometimes rap; moving up on the dance line

oldest member of EXO while simultaneously refusing to age. honestly, he has not aged at all. he might be a wizard. hugely popular in korea and is also holding abs of steel beneath his soft tee shirts. member of EXO subunit EXO-CBX. literally can rock any hair colour. currently getting his Ph.D and will be called Doctor Kim, i die. a general soft boy who is also a cat, but WILL WRECK YOU. boy is a pimp and will come for your ass if he detects even a moment of weakness. 

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY GIRL.

[p101recaps]

Broduce 101: Episode 6 (Quick Livestream Recap)

Contains spoilers.

Jihoon leads the trainees’ greeting to BoA, quick recap of rankings and eliminations last ep

All of them has started looking a lot more polished, the stylists must have more time with fewer trainees to focus on

Voting after the next mission rankings eliminate all trainees after rank 35

Position rankings!

Four songs for rap, dance, vocal. BoA’s Amazing Kiss is there too. Team picks by rank, of course

Ong-ssi doesn’t want Hyunbin on his dance team and Hyunbin says he doesn’t want to dance anyway

Samuel’s blond is really not a flattering shade, he looks so much nicer with darker hair. He didn’t want to be on the same team as Jihoon, who is likely to get the highest votes and edge out his teammates but they both picked Jason Derulo’s Get Ugly

So did Ahn Hyungseob

And Kang Daniel 

And Ong ssi 

Rekt.

They’re all feeling the stacked team burden, but Samuel and Hyungseob specially lol

Jisung picks IOI’s Downpour for vocal but isn’t very confident

The lower ranking trainees groan as the teams and songs they want get filled up

Woodam has to dance, he’s disappointed he can’t sing and cries because he wanted to use his advantage to its fullest :(

Everyone is worried about the Playing with Fire team w/ Sewoon, Baekho, Daehwi and Minki, who have the most potential to shake things up

Daehwi is made to look a bit scared of sang namja Baekho, specially considering their friction over the Boy in Love doubling

Sewoon aka CEO-nim is leader for their team, and Baekho wants to be main vocal. 

Daehwi bows out, since everyone tore the teenager down for being a teenager last few episodes. His dark hair is a good look on him.

They’re not a team that has a lot in common, they’re a bit hesitant with each other. Even I can see the awkward air, editing aside. 

Sewoon gets some screentime with lowkey friction with Baekho because they clash over the direction they want to take the cover. 

Daehwi gets even more nervous

Im Youngmin picked Boys and Girls with Donghyun but they don’t look pleased. 

It’s actually because Kim Dongbin picked the song too.

He apologises because he at least is aware of his lack of skills but is apparently a rapper trainee. The BNM kids aren’t sure what to do, since they’ve clearly trained long and well unlike him, but they try to help

Vocal kings Joo Jinwoo and Kim Seunglee battle it out for main vocal in their vocal team

Kim Seunglee gets centre because his teammates share my opinion about his voice being lovely and yet somehow distinct

The team only has Yehyun who knows music theory so he takes the lead arranging the cover

Kim Yongguk finally gets his screentime because he misses his fellow trainee, who left early on. No one even knows he’s a singer, they’re never heard his voice but he sings and they’re impressed because it sounds melancholy and sweet

Tiptoe Oppa Park Sungwoo picked a dance team

All the trainees pull the most meme faces when he enters with Shape of You as his pick. Daniel’s is particularly meme worthy. 

Noh Taehyun is worried, he didn’t want to have to coach anyone but he enters with the Shape of You card 

Bright eyed Park Sungwoo waits for him with the same song and he sighs, knowing where this is going.

He gets picked as leader for their team too, which is a good choice. 

The team compete with their expressions to pick centre and they all pick Noh Taehyun for this too

He carried the double sticker load well, quickly choreographing and coaching his team. A good edit for this boy after ages.

Moonbok, Lai Guanlin, Taemin, Jonghyun (who of course is leader) are doing Mino’s Fear

Lai Guanlin wants to be centre and raps in English. His flow is actually better when not in Korean. His team lets him write lyrics in English to up his skills

He edges out the good natured Moonbok, who did want the position since his rank’s been dropping but acknowledges Guanlin is cooler. 

Blame your hyungs, Hip Hop President

Hong Eunki is leader for Right Round dance team, he wants to replicate the Bang Bang effect

Haknyeon vs Hwanwoong for centre, but shockingly Hwanwoong gets centre because they’re not sure if they’ve ever seen Haknyeon’s skills

It makes him do a Kwon Hyunbin because he’s disappointed, making a lot of mistakes

Smiley Eunki pushes through, but this isn’t making Haknyeon look great

Cut to performance day!

Random audience member: Kang Daniel is TOO sexy!

Super Junior Leeteuk is MC because BoA’s busy. The crowd are shook. He’s a seasoned MC but I like my nervous SM queen :(

BoA drops in unannounced during rehearsals and summons the boys, who all run to come see her. She tells them in person she won’t be able to be there in person for their second live performances, so asks for a run through of their stages

Vocal performances have a live band! That’s really cool, I’m impressed Mnet.

If it is You Team has Yongguk played up a lot this episode, maybe because of his off screen popularity despite his screentime? He gets a lot of love and support from his team to boost his confidence awwww

The power of friendship makes his voice stronger (or, just, you know, singing a song in his range). Coach Lee Seokhoon compliments his tone, says it’s innocent like a middle schooler, which is exactly what I thought. It’s very pure, for some reason

RBW Lee Gunhee cries everytime he sings

Everyone is shook by how pretty his voice his, it’s so emotive, and this song helps bring it out.

I’ll cover performances at length in their own dedicated post, but let it be known that they were all really good. A mix of strong vocalists, and the song suits them to a T. 

Yehyun<Jinwoo<Seunglee<Yongguk for rankings. Arctic Fox powers up!

Dance team’s Flo Rida’s Right Round is up

They had behind the scenes issues with Haknyeon messing up and forgetting his moves. He really wanted centre because he didn’t get a chance to have many parts last time too, and he thinks Eunki has too many prominent parts despite not being centre

Kahi calls them out for letting teamwork issues spoil their performance. 

Haknyeon and Eunki have a talk. Jeju boy wants to stand out because he’s worried about his fall in ranks, he cries and Eunki reassures him. They talk and make up and of course, their performance improves instantly

Briefly: I didn’t know Namhyung was going to be on this team, Hyunbin does his K-Tigers thing, Yoo Hwiseung does a lip swipe, Haknyeon gets his moment to shine. It starts off okay, gets underwhelming but picks up towards the end. Pretty average.

I can’t stop getting distracted by Chungha in the audience

Hwiseung looks good with his hair up. He flaps his hands as they wait for the result, just like he did last time. He’s growing on me, this cutie.

Namhyung<Hwiseung<Hyunbin<Eunki<Haknyeon

Zico’s Boys and Girls is up for Rap evals

BNM feel the burden of their label, and do well at practice

Dongbin can’t rap even reading the lyrics in front of him. Cheetah can’t take it.

His teammates are getting frustrated but want him to just have confidence and try. He cries again, of course, but his teammates support him with more patience than I have even just watching this

In brief: BNM hard carry the whole performance, Youngmin forgets a bit of his lyrics and they play it up far too much. Dongbin sounds out of breath the whole time and flat. Donghyun gets no attention for being consistently good. Underwhelming, all in all.

Dongbin<Donghyun<Youngmin for rankings. Youngmin cries out of guilt.

Ed Sheeran’s Shape of You for Dance evals

Dance battle in rehearsals

Park Woojin kills it

Eunki does some more of his booty popping

Samuel and Ong-ssi do their thing

Noh Taehyun’s krumping makes all the trainees starry eyed, they think he’s the best dancer

His team...is lagging, Kahi says the choreo doesn’t suit the music

Noh Taehyun redoes chunks of choreo for sake of the performances

In brief: Noh Taehyun did good leading the team. They all look good, and it’s a neat little routine with a few impressive formations to make it look complex. I can’t wait for the fancams. I think this looks to be one of the best performances. 

THEY GET AN ENCORE CHANT 

Chungha shows her approval

They all get startled by the screen countdown in the waiting room, screaming when it pops up lol

Sungwoo<Junwoo<Donghan<Justin<Taedong<Taehyun for rankings.

Rise my boy Taehyun! Finally a voting that’s fair

Song Mino’s Fear for Rap evals. This was Lai Guanlin’s segment.

Oh god. Fire whoever did Moonbok’s hair. Awful. 

SUNG HYUNWOO IS IN THE CROWD WITH A MOONBOK BANNER MY HEART 

You’re so cruel, Mnet, really.

Lol Don Mills calls Lai Guanlin baby chick rapper.

Baby chick rapper is scared of performing in front of the teachers

They only critique his pronunciation. I guess he’s better at being a swaggy rapper than he is at dancing or singing

Nation’s Leader Jonghyun makes him practice his Korean pronunciation with a pen between his teeth, which is cute but is also a very good elocution trick. It helps him.

Angel Jonghyun, of course. 

Moonbok dedicates his bit to Hyunwoo, hold me, I’m in tears

In brief: Lai Guanlin looks like a real idol, and he’s not terrible. He has some sort of untrained talent there. Jonghyun references his Nu’est days and we get shots of his members and Kahi. Taemin has a nice rapping tone, I wasn’t expecting that. Moonbok’s emotions bleeds into his rap and he gives Hyunwoo a shoutout. 

They both cry NOOOOOOOOOOOOO STOP THIS YOU TWO

Jonghyun made a tiny mistake that not even Mnet’s editing played up and cries

Moonbok<Taemin<Guanlin<Jonghyun. Jonghyun cries again out of guilt.

Blackpink’s Playing with Fire for vocal evals.

Oh, the boys look fine. The crowd goes wild, obviously agreeing. The voting for this one is going to be close.

Behind the scenes, they’re going for a band sound that they explain with too many technical details. Lee Seokhoon isn’t sure. 

Sewoon suggests an acoustic route, different from what Baekho said.

Much tense editing, and they go for acoustics. I mean, they love Busker Busker in SK, so it’s not a shock

Sewoon feels he needs his guitar to stand along his teammates on stage

They talk and come to an amiable agreement.

Daehwi’s look here is really fire emoji, he looks his age, but also more like an idol.

In brief: I’d like the original song if it sounded more like this. I can’t resist a bit of electric guitar and a gentle pop rock sound. Daehwi throws some confetti. Minki pull his idol persona out while Baekho and Sewoon sing their hearts out. They do a nice bit of showmanship. The synth in the back is too loud, but I’ll discuss that in in depth analyses. A good performance, all in all.

Minki<Daehwi<Baekho<Sewoon. He doesn’t expect it and feels bad for his groupmates.

Preview for stacked team for Jason Derulo’s Get Ugly. Next week is going to be a Mess.

Shockingly, rankings changed up. I’ll put this bit under a read more.

Kim Jonghyun

Kang Daniel

Park Jihoon

Hwang Minhyun

Lai Guan Lin

Ong Seungwoo

Kim Jaehwan

Kang Dongho

Joo Haknyeon

Lee Daehwi

Yoo Seonho

GodJonghyun shoots up to an unexpected but not undeserving 1. He should buy Hyunbin a meal.

By far the most workable ranking, even though poor Auntie Jisung fell out :(

This is messy and unedited, please let me know if there are any mistakes!

[dontkyeom]

Monsta X: Beautiful in San Francisco - Fan Experience

ayooo i was asked to post about the monsta x concert i just went to (and also i want a record of what happened before i forget) so here it is!! under the cut are my pre, during, and post-show experiences/thoughts!!

pre-show

okay so my friend and i planned to get boba from boba guys and fries from super duper for dinner

me being me, i planned for us to meet at 5 so we had enough time to eat and digest for the show

i leave my house around 3:45 bc i was gonna bus over while my friend was gonna get dropped off at boba guys

in the end we ended up getting sharetea and meeting at super duper an hour later than when we were supposed to meet for the following reasons:

i got to the area before my friend

I WALKED THE WHOLE ASS TUNNEL BETWEEN DOWNTOWN AND CHINATOWN FOR NO REASON i was so heated omg

the line for boba guys was out the door and down the block so i was like girl… we gotta yeet

i left to get sharetea but my friend for some reason thought we were still gonna meet at boba guys so she had to walk down to the mall

she ended up getting lost and going to chinatown

meanwhile i was trying to find sharetea bc i didnt even know they had one in the mall

ended up ordering for both of us and agreeing to meet at super duper

also i saw some monbebes in the mall while i was waiting for my drinks hehe i peeped ur shirts

we got to the warfield at 7 when the doors were supposed to open and y’all the line was so long that it like wrapped around the block and the end was right by the entrance

i got gnarly cramps in both of my legs within five minutes of each other and they hurt like a damn bitch let me tell you

i felt really bad bc i like fell to the floor in the middle of the line and some of the people behind us were like omg are you okay and i was like yes pls just go around me i’ll be okay

and then the cramp went away and the people held our spots for us!! such kind people ily if you’re reading this

we got in right at 8 when the show was supposed to start (but they ended up starting later which im just assuming was so that everyone could get in)

during-show

y’all everyone kept screaming even tho the boys weren’t on stage yet and it hella freaked out my friend and i when we left to get water

we literally rushed back and my friend tripped up the stairs but it’s fine we made it back in time

anyway their energy is just off the charts like i was hyped as hell from beginning to end. they really know how to bring a crowd up and their stage presence is amazing. no awkward moments whatsoever and very smooth transitions from one stage to the next i was actually really impressed

and they said the bay had the realest energy and i was ready to NUT

my heart cried when they left a mic stand for hyungwon for ex girl, i really love how thoughtful the boys are when a member is missing. they take ohana to a new level it’s just endearing to see how much they truly care for one another

i would also like to have a moment of appreciation bc they didn’t say san fran at all?? i was lowkey expecting them to but they didn’t :’) (pls never say san fran it’s a big no from me)

wonho lowkey tried to throw chocolate to the upper balcony i saw him aiming a bit higher and i appreciate his effort so much

also as a former tech crew member in high school, a moment of appreciation for all the tech effects, they really added to the whole experience of the show and i thoroughly enjoyed the different effects and the timing of everything

appreciation for the stage hands who brought the bench on stage, i hope y’all heard me cheer for you bc i know what that’s like

also… i really loved seeing all the spike tape on the stage for whatever reason

anyway back to the boys

minhyuk jooheon kihyun and i.m came out and they asked us who was the most romantic (i said kihyun bc that boy was smooth as shit in that one video) and a lot of people said minhyuk so they made him do aegyo and OMFG MINHYUK’S AEGYO HAHAHAHA THAT SHIT WAS SO FUNNY all he said was “san francisco… oh my god” and then he kept repeating oh my god and OMG and he and jooheon were switching off and their voices were getting lower and i.m was like “yo this is not cute this is just weird” i got it on video if anyone wants to see it lmao

and then wonho and shownu came out like “…what kind of weird things were you guys talking about”

speaking of videos, all the videos i have of their songs are shaky af bc i was bopping at the same time but if anyone still wants to see them i can send a google drive link your way hehe

from zero was the cutest shit ever. im still really sad hyungwon couldnt make it but the sub did a great job in his place!!

i needa take a moment to just talk about wonho bc that man can go from cocky daddy to a total sweetie. like… he totally knows he’s a walking sex god (a small moment of silence for when kihyun just like pulled wonho’s jacket down to try to expose his arms during his intro) but then he’ll talk about how he tried to perform extra well to make up for hyungwon not being there and he’s trying to put on a better show and you can really tell how much he cares about us and ugh 

ALSO

WONHO IS SCULPTED BY THE GODS I WAS WAAAAAY UP IN THE UPPER BALCONY AND EVEN I COULD SEE HOW DEFINED HE IS SO PROPS TO HIM

i popped the FUCK off at the 24k magic cover oh my god y’all i love bruno and i got so excited when shownu minhyuk and i.m covered it, and it was so damn lit. like i was a lil bummed when i found out they werent gonna do the second verse bc it’s my fav part of the song but i.m’s rap was AMAZING and fit really well and oh my god don’t even get me started on the dance breaks omfffff

their outfits were cute as shit too

also appreciation for i.m’s voice. i just really like his voice im such a slut for deep voices ok this is why he’s my wrecker

jooheon and kihyun are just something else when they come together, i love what they’re able to offer to each other and able to create as a unit it’s just really cool to see :’)

also i must say… seeing jooheon’s deep ass dimples and kihyun’s nice ass cheekbones are such a blessing

OH AND THEIR AEGYO

THE AIR... POP SHIT BRUH I WAS DED

THE RED OUTFITS ARE SUCH A LOOK UGHHH

i almost cried when broken heart came on, such a beautiful song AND THEY LEFT A SPACE IN THE MIDDLE FOR HYUNGWON UGH MY HEART

blind, trespass, and rush were arguably the most hype songs of the night, like ive never went so hard in my life

also a moment to talk about shownu bc like… idk i’ve noticed he’s a lot more quiet than other leaders of idol groups so i wasn’t really sure what to expect but i gained so much respect for him?? he has great stage presence and is really well-spoken and charismatic damn gemini AND HE’S JUST SO TALENTED

omg there was this one part where wonho said “hyungwon actually made a recovery earlier than expected” and like the way he said it made it seem like hyungwon was gonna make a surprise appearance but nah

but it’s okay bc they all said they wanna come back to the bay asap and y’all can BET i’ll be there

i appreciated their english speaking, like during their intros and goodbyes it was heartwarming to see their efforts to communicate w us

surprisingly they didnt really talk much about how it was their 800 days?? idk i was kinda expecting them to address it but they didnt

omg their bows were adorable, they like held hands and moved across the stage in a line to bow to different parts of the venue it was so cute to watch

post-show

my friend and i waited in the merch line that moved pretty quickly actually?? but there were only stickers left and i thought it was more important for my friend to get something bc it was her first concert and she really wanted something to remember it by so i passed (also stickers were $25 what even)

but it’s cool bc she let me have a hyungwon sticker (and a cute lil logo bc there were two of them)!! theyre probably gonna live in my phone case bc i have a clear one so y’all BET im taking my mans everywhere w me

she really enjoyed herself which i was really happy to see!! being there for someone’s first concert is magical 10/10 would recommend

i also enjoyed myself in case i didnt make that clear lmao. despite the rough pre-concert experience, seeing those boys do their thing made everything worth it and i’m so glad i got to experience their first world tour :’) also ive never let loose to the extent that i did sober tonight so props to monsta x for bringing out my bay area hyphy lmaooo

i just wanna say thank you to monsta x for coming to sf, putting on a good show, and making us feel loved and appreciated. i was hella surprised when an sf show was announced considering most groups usually just go to LA, so thanks for giving the bay a chance and showing us such a fun time!!

and shoutout to the monbebes for being such a cute crowd. i loved seeing everyone waving their light sticks and arms and just having a good time, and cheering so hard for these talented and hardworking men

also seeing everyone come out of hi-touch all happy and smiley and starstruck was the cutest thing, so if you got to experience that i’m so happy for you and i hope you enjoyed seeing those boys up close!! would’ve done it myself but im an unemployed college kid so anything over $100 wasn’t an option for me

((another also, im v sorry to everyone behind me if my aggressive arm waving got in the way of your view i was enjoying myself way too much))

all in all, my first kpop concert was a huge success!! came in not knowing what to expect (it’s a bit different from the other shows/concerts ive been to in the past, but a good different!!), but still had a lit ass night :)

[hwallsgrl-archive]

kconla ‘17

this is more or less a post for my own reference bc i tend to forget things rlly easily... and i really don’t want to forget this weekend!! sorry if this is unreadable.. like i said, it’s mainly for my own reference ghfjdksn

friday convention: pretty uneventful seeing as it’s only the first day... me n my friend lined up to try for the w1 hitouch but we were told to come back at 2pm. we had heize’s audience engagement to go to at that time, so we just ended up buying w1 banners and nametags anyways bc tbh.. we didn’t have a chance at winning LOL.. (i heard fansites bought all the merch tho? so at least we got our stuff before that madness). a lot of people were selling their heize passes, so the rest of our party bought them to go in and honestly.. it’s a loss for the people who sold them !! heize is one of the sweetest n down to earth people i’ve ever met/seen... someone in the hi-touch area got her an olaf backpack and she was so excited!! she also said she really liked the vibe of la and that more people showed up than she expected (which broke my heart HJKDS). she also describes herself as a “srapper/ringer” bc she says she likes both singing and rapping... im gna fast forward to the cosmic girls audience engagement which was.. life changing tbh.. they’re all so pretty and cute irl, but bona couldn’t make it for some reason :( yeonjung sang miracle + secret, dawon did eunseo’s “hing~”, and meiqi did luda’s “mollah-ah”. they were also asked who they wanted to switch bodies with and from what i can remember, dayoung wanted to switch bodies with dawon (bc in her words, dawon is “hot, tall, and sexy” HJFSHLJ), and luda wanted to switch bodies with seola (bc she’s really pretty.. and i agree!! all of them are!!!) cheng xiao is my bias but unfortunately she didn’t say much..... also every idol whose never been to la wants in n out but i don’t blame them, it’s good!! i didn’t have that great of a view either bc the people in front of me were already tall + they were against the barrier which adds another inch or so to their height.. but overall it was a cute n fun audience engagement!! we went home afterwards bc there was nothing else left to do..

saturday convention: we went early bc my friend had sf9′s audience engagement so while we waited for her to finish that, me n the rest of the party just went around the convention hall and got free stuff :’)) when she came back, we went to juncurryahn’s meet and greet. he’s rly nice and talented, but i don’t watch his videos so i didn’t know what was going on majority of the time... afterwards we were going to get food and i was going to line up for seventeen’s audience engagement, but on the way out i saw people already lining up outside? when i asked what was going on, a guard told me to wait in the indoor waiting area but when i went there, vixx’s audience engagement hadn’t gone in yet. i asked the woman scanning bracelets but she told me to go outside. when i told her the situation, she then said i could stay inside. thirty minutes later, more people came in and started complaining so she told us all to.. go back outside lmfao... when i headed back outside the guard said the waiting area was full, so i’d just have to sit around until they started letting people line up again... i did meet a few more carats in line tho so i guess? it’s fine.. i also got a mingyu fan from one of his fansites, like u! it was super hectic inside bc a lot of people were crowding me and i was getting anxious, but the carats i met in line were nice enough to check up on me every few minutes to make sure i was okay... and seeing seventeen..... made my heart stop.... i couldn’t get a good view bc 1) im short and 2) people brought posters and constantly held them up whenever their biases talked.. it was a good experience but the only thing that bothered me was people screaming whenever a member tried to talk... i’d hate to be biased but seeing dino in the same room as me was the most memorable.. like he actually glows irl and he’s so handsome and pictures don’t do him justice!!!!!!! also junhui? ethereal. he can’t exist like.. he’s too handsome. they then played a dice game where each number means they have to do a certain thing.. dino got freestyle dance (how fitting...), seungkwan and wonwoo got fav pop song (when we were young + see you again, respectively), jeonghan and joshua both got aegyo, dk got random dance (and he threw the dice inflatable into the crowd and.. mightve hit someone ? idk i only heard him apologizing!!), and mingyu got sexy dance (hgfjdkl it was funny bc he started off fine but got rlly awkward n shy). everyone and their mothers are hip hop team stans btw... after that i left to go find my friends at the mwave stage, where they were doing signed album giveaways. oh my girl was having a fansign at star square in thirty minutes and i happened to be near the barrier where they walked by... in the midst of waiting for oh my girl to come out, my friend’s number was called for an album and he got the night version of astro’s dream pt 01 signed by all members!! literally 3 minutes later oh my girl came out and??????? they’re so pretty i was FLOORED.. i could only get a good look at jiho’s face before a guard stepped in front of me tho.. but i did see all the other member’s side profiles and? i love girls. wow. once that was over, we went to go get food and line up for the concert when the friend who won the album said he didn’t listen to astro.. and he gave it to me....... i started crying

saturday concert: HJFKDSLHJFK IT WAS WILD TBH!! the pre show was really good w/ juncurryahn playing crush’s beautiful on the violin and dancing to not today.. then it was krnfx and he beatboxed a few songs.. also lydia paek joined him for bs&t which was cool!! the first mc’s for the night were scoups, joshua, and vernon and i kind of.. lost my shit HJKDSLHJFK.... i don’t rmr the exact order but i do know that sf9 was the first act and they performed fanfare, jungle game, and easy love. also when they did the whole robot acrobatics thing in jungle game? my face was like :O the whole time!!!! chani looked like a cute lil pumpkin and zuho... is spicy... after that was cosmic girls and I LOVE!!!! THOSE SPACE ANGELS!!!! SOO MUCH!!!!! they performed happy, i wish, and secret (though i really wanted them to perform miracle...) i’m not a big fan of girl’s day but they’re sooo beautiful and they performed i’ll be yours, something. and ring my bell.. i knew nothing about suju d&e but they did 3 songs! the only song i can recall the name of is oppa oppa, which is really catchy... vixx’s act was really good!! they performed shangri-la, black out, and fantasy, but i was thinking about haknyeon and ravi’s lil head twirl part the whole time ghjdfkl.... vixx had a thing called ‘pinata time’ and got photo session, and they made cute poses around the stage so fans could take pictures of them. seventeen was the last act and ................ it was life changing, truly... they performed don’t wanna cry and I STARTED CRYING BC I LOVE THOSE BOYS SO MUCH AND WORDS CAN’T DESCRIBE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO ME AND HOW MUCH THEY’VE DONE FOR ME.... they had a pinata time and got everyone in the venue to dance to mansae which made me tear up again... they shot signed tshirts into the crowd in reserved seating!! mingyu + jun + woozi had to share a gun and after they shot one shirt, mingyu was trying to put the other shirt in and almost broke the gun HJFKLHJSDK... jun was interacting w/ the crowd all while woozi n mingyu were trying to figure it out.. like he was just shrugging and being his cute bubbly self.. eventually a staffer had to come up and help them lmao.. they also performed boom boom and aju nice which put me in the happiest mood!! i wanted them to perform pretty u which is like.. my fav song.. but i would have started UGLY CRYING so i’m glad they didn’t... somewhere in between cosmic girls invented the song i need u and sf9 covered sorry sorry... both groups danced together for the last chorus or so for sorry sorry..... also all of svt’s units performed a song! performance team did swimming fool, vocal did habit, and hip hop did check in. but saturday’s concert was amazing and seventeen.. really did change my life..... i also hope hoshi is feeling better !!!

sunday convention: got lost on the freeway and we all started freaking out bc we thought we’d miss wanna one at the innisfree booth. fortunately we made it in time, but the booth was already packed and there were people pushing and shoving. the security was really rude and told people near the back “if you cant see anything you’re wasting your time, what are you doing with your lives??” though i get he was doing his jobs.. there’s better ways to just tell us to back up lmao... i also i stood next to a baejin fansite (cheese bae) and they gave me a banner! my friend and i got claustrophobic and left, but i’m glad i did bc the people in front of me were a good 7 inches taller than me and when wanna one showed, the pushing got so bad that kcon threatened to end the session. the rest of the party stayed and said that they were only there for 5 minutes and that they looked visibly upset (understandable bc of the whole airport incident. i don’t blame them if they hate la lmao). they did get a blurry video of baejin and daniel tho so.. they airdropped that to me. we did pretty much everything the convention hall had to offer and no workshops/panels really interested us so we just hung around the toyota booth for astro... there i got a sanha fan from a fansite, but their name isn’t on the fan so i can’t find them :(... kard was said to make an appearance at the state farm booth right next to the toyota one, so it got crowded and my friend and i left. we just sat in the entrance hall near an outlet until astro came out, and we stood near the elevator so we could see them walk out... sanha is unbelievably tall. like.... what’s he so tall for. why. also while waiting i got a taeyong banner from leetaeyongbar! we then decided to go back inside to hopefully see wanna one at star square, so we went to the area where we stood for oh my girl. luckily not a lot of people cared to stand in the back so we got right up by the barrier. i also talked to a wannable and she was rlly sweet!! i mentioned getting anxious abt crowds of people against me and she also made sure i was okay, which is nice.. also a fansite stood behind me and i told her that if i was in the way, she could just let me know.. i dont know which fansite she is but she was nice n was thankful!!! wanna one came out and i only got a good look at guanlin (who is tall, but not sanha tall) before staff stood in front of me.. after they walked by a bunch of people left so i got closer and waited for them to come out... i’m glad i stayed bc i actually saw them walk out... and jisung!!!!!!!! waved!!!!!! in our direction!!!!!!!!!!!! my heart almost burst out of my chest bc he’s so handsome irl and he’s so cute and he looked really happy... after that we left to line up for the concert

sunday concert: sunday’s crowd was a lot bigger than saturday’s, and i’m pretty sure everyone there was a got7 stan... while in line i saw papa tuan (mainly bc he was dressed as their lightstick, which was cute)!!! inside the venue, the girl sitting next to me as also an aroha so we talked abt astro while we waited for the concert to start!! the preshow was a band called iamnot (correct me if i’m wrong, i couldn’t read their logo ghjfdk) and they were really good.. i liked their act a lot!!! the night’s hosts were mark and jackson, and they did a good job hyping up the crowd (tho everyone in there was a got7 stan so.. who wouldn’t be hyped lol). when they were calling up all the artists, heize brought the olaf backpack on with her and my heart!!!!! exploded w love for my mother!!!!!! once again i don’t remember the exact order, but i do know that the first act was kard, who performed don’t recall, hola hola, and oh nana. we also sang happy birthday to somin who teared up :’)). also j.seph is super cute n shy........ heize performed don’t know you. after a small ment, a sign asked us to turn on our phone flashlights... the music for star started and heize started to cry bc of all of the lights hjgfdklhg :( she only performed two songs... oh my girl performed coloring book and closer, and yooa is sosososo pretty!!! arin is super cute too!!! also binnie doesn’t have bangs anymore and my heart almost stopped!!! my robong DIED during coloring book bc me, being the fool i am, reused batteries from my carat bong... the aroha next to me gave me her spare batteries which was so nice of her... but then her robong died during closer so i gave back the batteries bc i knew astro as her ult, n she needed those batteries more than me LOL.. when wanna one performed, the girl saw me with my banner and she asked to record for me and i’m so grateful!!! they performed energetic and burn it up, and i think me and my friend got on the screen for like 2 seconds HJKDLSHJGKL... astro did a collab with kim taewoo and they did so well!! the dance was super energetic but their voices still sounded so good!!! kim taewoo then performed and his voice was really nice.. i can’t recall the song names but i believe his last song was love rain? astro performed should’ve held on, breathless (with a transition into polaris), and baby!! sanha was soo cute during the ment :(( they also had a pinata time and made tshirts to throw to those in the pit. they also had tshirt guns and shot those to the reserved seats... also i recorded the performance for the aroha next to me in exchange for the w1 videos... nct’s stage was.. so hype.... they performed firetruck, limitless, and cherry bomb!! some of the mics weren’t working during the ment so mark leaned over to let taeil use his in-ear mic and everyone in the venue went wild... also sicheng’s self intro was “my name is winwin!!! today.. we winwin!!!!!!!!” HJFKSLHJSF HE’S SO CUTE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I’LL FOREVER BE SICHENGSGIRL NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I CHANGE MY URL.... once again, the aroha next to me recorded nct for me and i later recorded got7 for her.. jj project performed, and they did never ever, hard carry, and?? correct me if i’m wrong but confession song?? idk.. they had a pinata time as well and a lucky fan got proposed to by three members, who i think were bambam, jaebum, and jackson. somewhere in between, wanna one came out again in navy colored school uniforms and perfomed never and nayana.. and i teared up during the latter... after the concert was over, me n the aroha airdropped each other the videos... i never got her name but she was super sweet and im glad i got to sit next to someone who didn’t consider my screaming obnoxious (she apologized for screaming during astro and got7 but.. we get each other LOL)

overall i’m so happy that i saw 6/6 of the groups i stan at my very first kcon!!! it’s rlly a memory i want to keep forever.. but i probably won’t go again in a long time (unless ofc.... wanna one or seventeen decide to come again :’))) )

[tayegi]

Equilibrium is blowing my mind 😮😮😮 I never expected jungkook to suddenly turn into some possessive psycho jerk 😨😨 I really hope he gets his shit together. What the flying f*ck 😱😱😱 In fact It'd be cool if Jin suddenly showed up with food and The OC leaves that chaotic relationship for food 😂😂😂😂 EVRYONE WOULD PICK FOOD OVER RELATIONSHIPS. right ? Am i the only one lol *cries*

AHHHH THANK YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE FOR THEIR LOVELY ASKS!!! IT’S GOOD TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE CAN HAVE HEALTHY, NON-PROBLEMATIC REACTIONS TO GROSS, CONTROLLING MEN! 

Anonymous said:Sorry for being late to the party lol, but I just read the new update of Equilibrium and I felt so fucking anxious and scared for the oc. I don't know how in the hell, some ppl find jungkook's actions hot when he is literally being psychotic and obsessive. Especially the part when he told her 'You'll regret it', he's basically threatening her there. It's obvious the whole relationship they have is toxic af and it only seems to be getting worse as time passes. Apart from that, have a nice day!

Anonymous said:OMG EQUILIBRIUM 11 Omg I still have goosebumps, like Jungkook was being so fucking possessive it scared the shit out of me. Even tho It was a shitty move for the oc to not attend his graduation, she still could had attended but that phone call... I don't want this to turn into some creepy murdering fanfic LOL. Ughhh Jungkook what is even going in your mind? I'll be looking forward to the next chapter! xx :)

Anonymous said:Dude, you did such a great job at writing o/c's anxiety in this chapter. I try not to be bias toward her, but it's really hard since the story us in her pov. I got seriously grossed out by JK, man. I was so uncomfortable with the whole morning ordeal. 😩 And his threat at the end?? I know it's a story, but I had my friend-instincts kick in and I just wanted to shake her and be like "PLEASE LEAVE THIS RN PLEASE" (1)

Anonymous said:(2) And I'm curious about how Jimin would react if he knew how JK was acting. He has this idea that JK is a perfect boy, but if only he knew...But, at the same time, they all have this distorted view of one another, huh? We see Jimin as Mr. Perfect cause that's how o/c sees him. I guess it goes into that whole "unreliable narrator" thing? I'm just writing what thoughts the chapter has provoked. I absolutely love how u pay attention to detail in this story!! Awesome job as usual, mane 😊🙆

Anonymous said:Jungkook needs to take a moment to realize how miserable and uncomfortable the OC is like my goodness. Things have gone waaaaaay downhill. Especially for the OC. Also Jungkook actions are just kind of creepy??? And just like so unhealthy. I know it can be really hard to get out of a relationship, and she still loves Jimin and all, but the OC needs to just get out of there.

Anonymous said:omg jk is becoming such a possessive creep like reading the last part gave me chills tbh. they all need to realize that this relationship is v toxic and dip out of it. i kind of expected this to become what it is from the beginning but you still added twists to it that caught me off guard, thanks for being a great writer lu

Anonymous said:oh man that last chapter. just really fucking scary.... i went back and reread the end of ch.10 to recap and it makes me wonder how far y/n's willing to go for what's "worth it" in exchange for her own personal well being. because fuck, what jungkook is exhibiting is extremely concerning. as always your writing is amazing! thank you for using your free time this way, i'm sorry people are being gross and rude. you don't deserve that kinda shit, lu :(

Anonymous said:I genuinely love how you describe the OC as a trapped bird, and seeing how Jungkook reacted to everything is actually causing me to fear for the OC's well-being. I just want her to exist the whole relationship and just hook up with sunshine, can do no wrong hobi instead of the possessive junglecock and the passive Jimin :/ just my thoughts. But you're an extremely talented writer and your PhD is more important than smutty fanfic, so take all the time you need

Anonymous said:Ok first of all what the hell at ppl asking u for quick updates cuz ive lived with phd students they literally have a never ending to do list and im so amazed at ur ability to find time to write unbelievable. U go girl. And 2ndly, the claustraphobia u mentioned that oc was feeling. That was so detailed and even i felt like i was in her place. And jk..uve characterized his possessiveness so well and i got so mad forgetting this was a fictional character i was ready to throw a chair

Anonymous said:eek jungkook is making the equilibrium relationship so unhealthy somebody punch him

Anonymous said:Jungkook makes me so uncomfortable and I can actually feel the claustrophobia that OC feels .-. Overall, really excited for the next parts and can't wait to reread to see if I can find more theories. Thanks for the new chapter!

Anonymous said:ch 11... HOLY FUCK SHE NEED TO GET OUT JK IS LOONEY!! you really know how to make a story really good dude. super excited for updates!! i'm really curious about jimin's thought process about all of this. you've given a really good insight on kook and oc but jimin is still a little hard for me to figure out, i assume that's coming soon? i feel for oc, i want to protect her and tell her she's stronger and smarter than all of this. she's worth more than all of this craziness!!! GIRL POWER!! lol

Anonymous said:Holy fucking shit everything is so messed up in equilibrium like !! I love it and at the same time i cry because of the way you describe the oc's feelings I SWEAR I CAN FEEL IT TOO HOW DO YOU DO THAT? I can feel everything, my heart is pounding so fast now. Im so into it and i just want her to run away from this toxic relationship and take care of herself first like i know she loves jimin to the core but she is more important my heart clenches at every exquisite word you writE THANK YOU SO MUCH

Anonymous said:The story is really great I love how original your writing is I don't even see the characters as Jm an jk Which allows me to see how disgusting they all let themselves be treated in the relationship, a lot of the times I feel like readers are blinded by the image of an idol it changes their perspective honestly even if it was just one person who was lying about loving the other it would still be just as horrible I'm really curious as to what's even going on and how you are going to continue it❤️

ahmie-cat said:I feel so sad for the oc in equilibrium. Jungkook don't own nobody! How dare he claim ownership on the oc! I will fight him any day! I'll fight for the oc's freedom rights. Lols, just kidding... But really all of the characters are so sad...

Anonymous said:Honestly in the earlier chapters i really liked Jungkook but now hes just scaring me. The way the OC reacts to all his actions is so relatable thats exaclty how I would feel in her situation. This is crazy I dont even know how this fic would end I love it so much

Anonymous said:I was the anon who recommended you watch wfkbj and I'm so glad you like it!! :) ALSO the latest chapter of equilibrium was so good oh my god;; it's just ramping up like tenfold and while I was reading it sometimes I just had to stop and take a breather bc of all the tension lol. Honestly I don't even know how the oc is dealing with jungkook rn bc his behavior would chill me to the very bone I would have to get out !!! Anyways as always thank you for updating

Anonymous said:ah goodness, it was autocorrect that changed jungkook to jongkook! maybe next time i'll just use jinglebook to refer to him instead thens ahahahah. "goodness gracious, jinglebook is hella possessive that i'm actually really scared for y/n :s"

Anonymous said:GIRL THANK YOU FOR UPDATING OMG IM SHAKING IN MY CHANKLAS JUNGKOOK IS SO DELUSIONAL AND I WISHED OC WOULDVE BEEN STRAIGHT UP WITH HIM AND LIKE IDK NOT MILK ON HIS CRAZYNESS IM JUST SO ANXIOUS TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT SORRY FOR TYPING IN CAPS

Anonymous said:So, uh. Equilibrium Jungkook is fucking terrifying....

Anonymous said:I hope the oc in equilibrium leaves the relationship. It's so unhealthy and I feel like she might develop some type of mental illness or just be very stressed and anxious if she continues the relationship.... It's just a fanfic, but man, i'd hate to be in her position... I feel like crying Lols. Is this what you intended?? Haha.... It's really good so far I'm looking forward to what happens next. I feel like there'll be a good moral to the story. *Fingers crossing.

Anonymous said:Damn wtf jungkook behavior is freaking me out 😳 "you'll regret it" like wtf crazy people say shit like that

Anonymous said:jkzldlzlldz TF IS HAPPENING I'M SO CONFUSED JK IS CRAZY WTF OMG

Anonymous said:the characters in equilibrium seem to have never been in an actual proper relationship so the fact that they seem to have lasted this long is by sheer miracle. It's also probably why their worst aspects are even more apparent like jk's obsessiveness (which btw yikes boy yikesss) they literally all need to walk far far away from each other cause they a mess but I do wonder who's gonna be the first to do it cause it's all so complicated now, sorry for rambling I just love this fic so much!!

Anonymous said:What the ever loving monkey fuck is wrong with Jungkook. See, i was okay with him being jealous of Jimin because that's normal. I was moderately okay with OC agreeing to Jungkook's terms because she wants to stay with Jimin. I AM NOT OKAY with his sociopathic tendencies and how obsessive he's become. I think he's mistaken OCs genuine kindness for romantic interest at one point. And the thing that scares me the most is how Jimin seems to have no idea what's going on right under his nose as well

Anonymous said:Bruhhhh jungkook is legit fucking scary but the story itself is amazing and complex im gonna reread it right now

Anonymous said:Equilibrium is getting really interesting!! I'm kinda worried tht ppl read sentences like "Even a domesticated pet needs a taste of freedom" in context with her just /looking/ at jimin and think 'oh how romantic' tho. In every scene between her and jk u can practically feel her discomfort and fear and his possessiveness and how he's abusing her. I would normally stop reading a fic like tht bc I don't like it when the ppl are written like that bc they are real after all but I'm super hooked (1/2)

Anonymous said:(2/2)now and I am also really curious as to if and how they all are gonna get out of that situation or if jk kills her before they can just bc she takes care of a literally puking-everywhere-bedridden jimin. I'm also curious how Jimin is gonna act towards y/n now that they're alone and if he even noticed the toxic stuff that's happening between her and jk or if he didn't even notice bc jk kept him "happy" (idk how else to put it) so yeah. Keep up the great work!! Have a nice day xx

Anonymous said:GURL YOU NEED TO RUN FAST AND YOU NEED TO RUN FAR. It sucks that Jimin doesn't like OC romantically, but he's just using you to stay with JK. But JK... that shit is gonna hit the roof soon soon and it ain't gonna be pretty @.@

Anonymous said:Hey Lu, thanks for taking the time to update again~ Regarding the story...Jungkook is incredibly terrifying, like I had to step away a few times as I read because I just want the reader to leave so badly. I wish she would just be like "peace out". Everyone should just leave this situation and say "peace out". Even though I know the feelings are so complicated between all of them, it's just such a shit show on fire :( . Well done on setting everything up though. The tension is insane!

Anonymous said:Ugh I honestly want to slap Jungkook so hard. Possessive little shit.. As always your writing is amazing. Thank you for the update.

Anonymous said:OC, JIMINS DICK ISNT WORTH AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP GTFO THAT SITUATION GIRL IM SCREAMING

Anonymous said:JEONS FUCKED IN THE HEAD. HE WAS CUTE AND ALL AT FIRST BUT THEN IDK GIRL, I FEEL SORRY FOR JIMIN AND OC. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS HAPPENING ALL I KNOW IS I LOVE THIS AND I CERTAINLY LOVE YOU! IS HE PSYCHOTIC THO? FEELS LIKE JEON WOULD KILL ANYONE WHO DARE TO TOUCH OC..

mirajoey said:MY GAWDD!! Jeon Jungkook has gone mad😱 i pray for oc's safety

Anonymous said:i am terrified by jungkook's actions and NOTHING in this whole damn world is going to excuse what he is saying and doing in equilibrium. WHERE IS YOONGI DITCH THEM ALL Y/N AND GO FOR YOONGI. and today, i have been going through some really misogynic shit today and it felt so freaking uncomfortable and i was so angry and kind of frightened...i do not know how y/n is able to act like a normal person with jungkook around who is being very possessive and psycho-like

Anonymous said:When I first saw you updated Equilibrium I almost yelled "IMMA BUST MY LEFT NUT" (I was really excited lol) and now I'm lying here in a puddle of emotion really scared for the OC lol. I adore your writing so much, thank you for writing these xx

Anonymous said:JEON YOU CREEP. Man this is all such a disaster BUT I LOVE TO WATCH THE DRAMA UNFOLD. Anyways it was a great chapter and I am so e x c i t e for the next part to start. You da best 😆

Anonymous said:This is what your writing does to people, this is literally the only time I've ever dislike Jungkook that much in a fic. I wanted the OC and Jungkook together, but now I really thing all 3 should go their separate ways. Jungkook's possessiveness is getting too much, it's too obsessive. I feel sorry for her, but at the same time her own fault as well. As for Jimin who knows he may not be as oblivious as we think ?! He is using the OC to get with Jungkook in the first place.

Anonymous said:Equilibrium OC should just pack her fckin' bags there is no happy way out of this one

Anonymous said:(1/3) Right before I read this I watched this British PSA music video about abusive relationships, where a pregnant woman was choked to death by her boyfriend as she was trying to leave him and I feel like these people who romanticize these types of relationships forgot that this actually happens IRL. This happens to real women and men and some of them don't make it out alive. And when they try to defend it by saying "it's just a story, it's not real" it's very real for some people.

Anonymous said:(2/3) And the fact that the OC is having trouble sleeping and feeling this anxiety. And the that Jungkook didn't fell any sympathy/empathy for Jimin while he was ill, it just doesn't sit well with me. And the OC isn't innocent either. So afraid to shatter what's left of the already crumbling illusion she's built up. The need to keep the fantasy of this relationship with Jimin that I'm not sure existed outside of her mind. I really do enjoy this story and how you portray the characters.

Anonymous said:(3/3) The isolated relationships between the three of them is very realistic. I've seen some of my close friends go through similar situations. And it's hard to get out once you're in.Anonymous said:I cant believe anyone in their right mind is sympathizing with Jungkook in Equilibrium?! The way he is with Y/N makes me so uncomfortable, esp with his “You’re all mine” crap and being so “in love” with her when all he wants is to have her under his control even tho he thinks it’s love. Jimin too, the way he’s down to have Y/N in the relationship since JK wants her but she wants Jimin.. also I’m glad ur fanfics exist since they can give some girls a perspective on what’s NOT okay and NOT love

Anonymous said:' And if I find out you let someone else touch what's mine... you'll regret it' - I kept on reading this over and over but each time it makes me cringe more, the fact that he constantly calls her 'mine' is so fucking off, like as a kookier Stan in rl , I felt really bad for jungkook but now I find it so hard, this relationship is taking a big twist that I did not see coming and it's getting abusive real quick.

Anonymous said:(Cont last) I stood firm in my decision. On the last day that we talked, he finally understood why. It was only then he realized his mistakes, only then did he cry & apologize for everything. He tried to convince me to give him a chance but the time for that has already passed. We are officially over. I loved the guy, you know? and deep down, I know there's good in there. But I can't risk my heart and soul anymore. I'm sorry this has gone out of topic, I just needed to get it off my chest.

Anonymous said:(Cont.) When he got mad at me for one minor thing, he will accuse me of cheating and call me demeaning words. Our relationship was always on his terms. I was always the one apologizing & making an effort to make him happy. I paid for all our dates. Just wow, I'm stupid. After a fight early Feb, I got tired of it all. I broke up with him and that process took 7 fucking days in which he tried to convince that my reasoning was wrong and that he was right. My gut feeling was telling me to leave.

Anonymous said:just finished reading ch 11... yikes. like YIKES. oh my, I'm honestly very worried and scared for the oc. reading it actually made me anxious and nervous lol. that relationship is a nightmare oh sweetie no, she needs to leave asap

Anonymous said:(Cont. Part 3) I felt caged. I always had to inform where I was, who I'm with, are there guys going to be at the event I'm going to. If there were guys, he didn't want me to go. I couldn't even get a regular update from him where he was and couldn't check on his phone. As I said, I was being stupid. I tolerated all of his bullshit. When you're in an abusive relationship, you won't realize it immediately. He'll come off sweet and only wanting to protect you and your relationship.

Anonymous said:(Cont. Part 2) to the red flags he showed early in the relationship. He didn't want to me talk to any guy who wasn't a family and asked me to delete all the guys in my Facebook account. Stupid me did so because I believed him when he said that "It's not because I don't trust you, it's because I don't trust the people around you." I stayed loyal to him but he was always paranoid that I was cheating on him. When we broke up, I learned he was talking to lots of girls that's why he was so paranoid.

Anonymous said:I got curious and read Equilibrium. All I can say is whoa! The anxiety and fear that I felt was so visceral; it made me fill ill. I've recently broken up with my ex, who was like that - subtly emotionally and mentally abusive. I am fairly young, naive, and inexperienced in relationships. I had a low self-esteem. Growing up I felt that I was unattractive and no one would like me. He was the first guy to really pursue me and I guess I was so hungry for love and affection that I turned a blind eye

Anonymous said:oc's anxiety is getting worst in equal... 😞 i hope she gets out soon. i agree, SEND IN MAMA JIN! lol kook is getting crazier each chapter i'm getting scared for her well being 😟☹️😦. SHES WORTH MORE THAN THIS CRAZINESS!! 💔 side note, thank you for sticking to it, i know it's not easy. and thank you for updating. i always look forward to your work ❤

withlove-sydney said:Tbh I was worried that this story was gonna take a disturbing turn after jk revealed that he was purposely trying to keep jimin away in chpt 10 and this chapter just confirmed how toxic he is. I agree with that other person tho I'm glad that you're the one writing this because I trust that you won't try to romanticize this at all. My ex was really possessive like jk and its not cute or sexy at all. I ended up so scared of him and when I see similar things in fics it gives me chills...

btsninetyfiveline said:I just want to say thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for the relationship you're portraying in Equilibrium! It's soooooooo important to have stories that show abuse and possessiveness in an unhealthy light! I'm so tired of these "you looked at another guy for 5 seconds in the club so now I'm gonna take you home and show you who you 'belong' to" narratives. It's so important to address and educate young girls on signs of an emotionally manipulative relationship! 💕

Anonymous said:Hi Lu :) how are you? I love how you put out your stories unexpectedly, its always a pleasant surprise. Chapter 11 is so well-written (like all your work ofc).You set up the suffocating atmosphere perfectly with images and metaphors, like Oc's suffer is so real. I am really concerned about oc's mental health... in this chapter we see that she isn't in a good place and I am scared of what is yet to come. Thank you for your hard work. xo

Anonymous said:After reading chap 11, i feel so bad for the oc. Even reading about jk's possessiveness/threats makes me feel suffocated ;-; Though I'm excited for what's going to happen after he leaves for his trip hmm.... once again thank you for the update, Lu! :-) I'm really loving the pace of the story so far.

anonymouspseudonymous said:There's this anon that said "this ain't your ordinary fic where they all compromise and be happy" and i cannot agree more. Although, even if I get it that people hate JK for being cray, you have to punch Jimin as well hahaha idk man this is fucked

Anonymous said:I'm reading ch11 of equilibrium and the part where she wants to touch jimins face but jungkook has a tight grip on her wrist restricting her from doing so is so symbolic of their relationship and how she wants jimin so badly but jungkook is holding her back from him almost keeping her hostage in a way. Anyways I really enjoyed this part it gave me goosebumps so thank you for sharing your work with us even though you don't have to! You owe us nothing so I appreciate everything you give us💓💞💖💕

Anonymous said:I'm glad you don't tolerate the bullshit that jungkook isnt as bad as the protagnonist. People need to hear that that shit is toxic and manipulative. People are brainwashed into thinking it's romantic and okay. When it's absolutely not. No the protagonist isn't free of fault but she isn't being obsessively creepy.

Anonymous said:I think people tend to gloss over the fact that it IS an obsession (unhealthy and actually rather terrifying) and not actual "love" because they like the idea of someone doing anything to stay with them. But even in wanting to stay with someone, there have to be limits. You shouldn't end up losing yourself to someone if they want you as a person, not as just an object or a way to get what they want. There is a line between devotion and obsession, and people seem to ignore that all too often.