#anyway uh HYPE HELL YEAHHH

[braisedhoney]

THE DAY APPROACHES. S O O N.

[sanmisui]

Venting and rambling about writing:

Maybe my fanfic would be better off without all those smutty implications that I’m adding.

Seriously,,,,, the story would work either way. It’s just my stupid brain not understanding that it ain’t necessary for a fanfic to have these things. But also everything sort of sucks. My writing is painfully mid. The story is long and it’s been dragging me down and I have no idea what I’m doing anymore,,,, ughhh.

I have lotsa drafts,,,, but nothing fits into the current story. So I will make more stories once the current one is done,,,, but I know that the ending will suck. My brain is bad.

Nothing really matters, I’m just writing nonsense. I’m gonna take it out and just end the day and write something else n get back to the mid section later.

My writing isn’t linear. I start somewhere n add a break n go to the next section and then I go back to fill the blanks and connect the plots together.

Sometimes I need to shove things back or take them out entirely. That’s just how the creative progress works,,,, it is what it is,,,,

I wish somebody would give me clearer instructions on what to add and what to leave out. I mean,,,, who the fuck wants to read about washing the dishes? On multiple occasions?? It adds some minor detail and it makes the story longer… ooooooh the story is so goddamn long I think it’s almost at 100k words???? How did I even do that? It’s been 6 months. Is that good or bad? I don’t read that many stories. Or only short ones. But they get everything done and sorted easy peasy,,,,, my story is filled with convoluted garbage and it’s just a retelling of the goddamn anime for the most of it,,,, with a few extras and boiiiii is it boring? I’m bored. Not sure if that’s just me cuz I know what my brain is cooking up and boi did it add too much sugar to the alphabet soup,,,, who the fuck adds sugar to their soup anyways?????

I avoid conflict. But I need conflict. I gotta write about the goddamn conflict. How do I write? Hell, I haven’t got a clue as to what I’m even doing with this story. It’s an x Reader Story, there won’t be that many people craving for it’s conclusion… I think I hate the story cuz I put too much of myself into the personality of the mc. Yeahhh maybe that is it?

I also suck at writing the dude who we r romancing. Maybe it’s all just too much of a mess?

But I still need to finish it!!!! I can’t just drop it? It’s almost done! Just… uh… a few more chapters?

Maybe 2 or 3? I could end it rather quickly if I end it on a sour note. Would people hate me for that? Probably. It might be for the best. I am not really vibing with this story anymore. I already ruined it for myself. N I put too much pressure on my mushy brain. It’s gonna be over soon… hopefully. Maybe I’d be more hyped about it, if people gave me better feedback? There isn’t much of a reason for me to keep writing. But I would hate for it to end without a proper ending. So I’ll write an ending and get it done and then I will start with something new.

Maybe I’m merely sad cuz I didn’t get as much interaction as I would’ve liked? My confidence is frail. If people don’t give me input on how things are for them, I’ll assume that they hate everything that I came up with. But once it’s done and released, it’d be blasphemous to go back and rewrite it…

Heck the story doesn’t even have a proper title. It pops up when u search for the character… which is bad!! Cuz the story is rated M but there don’t seem to be any hindrances for accessing it??? It’s just up on Google and anyone can click on it??? If you search for it on quotev, u gotta turn on adult content to see it but what’s the point if Google smacks it right in your face???

It prolly doesn’t fall under mature content… I haven’t written a whole lot of heehoo stuff cuz I’m too much of a coward. Godddd I should’ve put it on ao3 instead… but it’s too late for that and also… I like quotev. U can add pictures lolol. It’s more befitting of a beginner such as myself. But I should’ve tagged it better? Honestly, I’ve never written a serious story before. No idea what to tag outside of the characters. Hell. I don’t even know where the story is going or what’s going to happen next, cuz I write as I think and I think as I go and I’m not doing a whole lot of planning ahead.

I’m rambling so goddamn much on this post here cuz I don’t have any friends or confidants. No way of asking for directions. It’s always just me talking to myself for hours and my mental health is shredded like discarded papers.

Ughhhhhhhhh. I hate being creative. I think I’ll get something to drink and then I’ll just lay here for a bit.

[california-grethan]

Game Day // {E. Dolan}

Description: When it comes to home games, your school does not mess around, to say the least. You had never seen school spirit showcased the way that your fellow classmates did whenever it came time for football season, and you loved it. Nothing made you prouder to be a student at your school than standing on the bleachers with hundreds of other hyped up teenagers. Tonight’s game day, though, was something especially exciting, but bittersweet. As a senior, it’ll be the last home game you’ll be attending as a highschooler. You were excited to add another football game to your high school memories, but tonight will be a night you will never forget. 

Warning(s): none🤷🏽‍♀️

Requested: [yeahhh] // [nopeee]

Word Count: [2,162]

masterlist // blurb nights // come talk to me!

I walked through the packed hallways of my school, smiling at everyone’s excitement for tonight’s game. I smiled as I saw the jersey clad figures of two of my best friends, along with some of their teammates, leaning against my locker, their heads thrown back as laughed about something someone said. I saw one of the football players nudge Ethan, jutting his head in my direction, the look on his face teasing. I shook my head, a small smile on my lips because I knew what it was about. It only took a second for the entire team to catch on and begin yelling my name.

I groaned, “All of you, shut up. You guys are such nuisances.”

Grayson was quick to throw an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side. “ C’mon, Y/N, don’t lie. You love us.”

I rolled my eyes, “Bailey, I’d be lying if those words left my mouth.”

The boy feigned a look of hurt before sticking his tongue out at me. My head shot up at the sound of Ethan saying my name.

I grinned at him, “Yeah?”

“So, uh,” he started nervously, “Actually, let’s go somewhere else, I don’t wanna ask you this in front of these idiots.”

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “Well, alright then.”

He grasped my hand in his and dragged me down the hallway. I yelped as my body was jerked forward, quickly waving goodbye to the boys. “E! Slow down, you’re gonna rip my arm off.”

The boy abruptly stopped, pulling the two of us to the side of the hallway so that we wouldn’t be in anyone’s way, causing me to ram into his side. “Shit, sorry, Y/N. I just wanted to get away from the guys because I know they won’t stop giving me shit about this if I asked you in front of all of them.”

“E, just tell me, what’s up?”

He shrugged his backpack off his shoulder, opening it up and reaching for something in it. When he managed to fish out what he was looking for, he pulled his hand out of the bag and came up with one of his football jerseys.

“So, I was wondering if you’d wear my jersey. It’s our last home game for the season and our last game as seniors, so all the seniors are asking someone to wear their jersey.”

I blushed at his statement knowing that the football players typically ask their girlfriends to wear their jerseys.

“Isn’t it tradition to ask your girlfriend to wear your jersey?” I asked, my question causing his cheeks to redden.

He ran his hand through his hair, a nervous habit of his that always resulted in me having to fix his hair for him. “Yeah, that’s the tradition, but you know damn well I’m too awkward to have a girlfriend. Plus, there’s no one I would rather see out on the bleachers sporting my jersey than my best friend.”

I felt my smile slightly falter when he referred to me as his ‘best friend.’ It was so goddamn cliche, but I would be a complete idiot not to have been slowly falling for my best friend. I shook off the pang of hurt in my chest and grinned at him, grabbing the jersey out of his hand.

“Here,” I said shoving my backpack in his hands so that I could slip the article of clothing over my sweatshirt. I made a show of spinning around for him, a playful look on my face when I turned around completely. “So? How do I look?”

The boy in front of me grinned at me. “You look great; you pull it off better than I do,” he said with a wink.

I rolled my eyes, muttering a quiet, “kiss ass,” under my breath.

“Hey!” He said in defense, “I heard that.”

I stuck my tongue out at him. “Whatever,” I countered. I looked down at my watch, realizing that I only had a few minutes before class started. “Listen,” I began, “I’ve gotta go to class, my first period is all the way on the other side of the school. I’ll see you later, yeah?” I stood on my tippy toes, planting a kiss on his cheek before I made my way to class.

He nodded, “Yeah. Oh, wait, do you want a ride later?”

“Well, I’m not gonna go home after school, I’ll just hang around here with a few people until the game. But drive me home after the game? Y/F/N drove today and I know for a fact that she hates staying the entire time because of the traffic afterwards.”

“The team will probably be grabbing a bite after the game. Are you fine with tagging along?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. I can always go for food anyway. Alright, I really gotta go now, Mrs. Garnett’ll come for me if I’m late for class again.” I turned around, starting to make my way down the hallway. “Have a good day, E-tee-wee-tee,” I called over my shoulder, smirking because I knew he hated being called that.

I chuckled to myself as I heard him whine my name behind me, but I kept walking.

I sighed in relief as I made my way out of my last class; the day seemed to drag on, all my teachers seemingly finding a way to make their classes as boring as possible. Throughout the day, too many people took notice of the fact that my upper half was adorned with Ethan’s jersey. I saw dirty looks thrown my way by girls that have been trying to get with Ethan since we started high school. My friends, on the other hand, were persistent with their teasing; everywhere I looked, a friend of either mine or Ethan would look at me with a knowing smirk on their face, almost as if they knew something that I didn’t.

A smile quickly made its way onto my face as I saw my group of friends crowded around the set of doors closest to the football stadium.

“Hey, y’all,” I greeted, leaning against one of my friends, Ian. Everyone greeted me before resuming their separate conversations.

He threw an arm over my shoulder, supporting my weight against the side of his body. “Hey, Y/N, how’s it going?”

“It’s good, tired after a long day, but it wasn’t too bad. How ‘bout--” I wasn’t able to finish my sentence because the next thing I knew, I was falling. Thankfully, I fell on my ass instead of my face. I looked up at the boy that was to blame for me falling, my annoyance apparent on my face. “Ian! What the fuck, man?”

He was looking at someone across the hallway. I looked over, seeing Ethan with a pissed off look on his face; his jaw was clenched, further emphasizing the boy’s sharp jawline. Ian broke eye contact with him, extending a hand out to help me up. “Shit, sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to have you fall, I just saw Ethan looking at us and he scared the crap out of me.”

I brushed myself off. “It’s fine,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“So, are you guys, like, a thing?”

I raised my eyebrow at his question, “No, why’re you asking?”

He shrugged, “I mean, you’re wearing his jersey and he didn’t exactly look too happy to be seeing you with me.”

“Just ignore it, nothing’s happening between us. If he’s pissed off, that’s his problem.”

A hand instantly wrapped around my wrist, dragging me away from my friends and through the exit. “Ethan! What the fuck? Let go, you little shit, you’re hurting my arm.”

He instantly let go, mumbling a ‘sorry.’

I scoffed, “What the hell got into you?”

Ethan evaded my question, “What was that with Ian?” He said the other boy’s name with disgust.

“I asked you a question first.”

“Fine, I don’t like him. I don’t like the idea of you hanging around him.”

My eyes rolled in annoyance, “Bullshit, you guys used to be friends before football became your main thing. Ian and I have been friends longer than I’ve been friends with you and Gray. So, what’s really got you pissed off?”

He scoffed, crossing his arms across his chest, “That is the reason!”

I shook my head at his stubbornness, “Whatever, come find me when you’re ready to tell the truth.”

I made my way back inside, joining my friends.

The stadium was absolutely packed. It seemed like everyone in the community came to tonight’s game. Y/F/N and I made our way to the senior section, squeezing past the crowd of people as we tried to get to where Ian and a few of our other friends had saved us a spot.

“Y’all ready for this game?” I asked as I passed down the food and candy that we just bought.

Everyone responded back excitedly. A voice then boomed over the speakers of the stadium, “Good evening ladies and gentlemen! Are y’all ready for our last home game?”

Everyone on our school’s side of the stadium screamed in response.

“Alright, alright! That’s what we like to hear! Now, let’s welcome our boys onto the field!”

We all began shouting on the top of our lungs and stomping our feet against the metal of the bleachers. All the players ran through the inflated tunnel that had our school’s mascot integrated into its design. The screaming eventually died down, allowing the marching band to begin playing the national anthem.

Once it ended, I took the time to soak in the environment around me. A sad smile made its way onto my face when I realized that tonight would be the last football game I would ever attend as a highschooler. The realization was bittersweet, but I shook the sadness off, wanting to enjoy every moment of the game. The atmosphere of the stadium was absolutely insane; it truly did seem as if every student and every parent came out to support the football team tonight. The bleachers were absolutely packed and people could be seen spilling out onto the grass area on either side of the bleachers.

I felt an elbow jab into my rib cage, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Y/F/N, bitch, what the hell?”

She jutted her head in the direction of the field, noticing that Grayson was trying to get our attention. I made eye contact with him, cocking my head to the side in confusion. He gestured at me, motioning me to come down to the field.

“What’s that about?” asked Y/F/N.

I shrugged my shoulders before excusing myself and making my way down to the field. Grayson met me at the fence.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“What happened between you and E earlier?”

I rolled my eyes, “He was being pissy about me being friends with Ian.”

Grayson scoffed, rubbing his face with his hands. “Goddamn, both of you are such idiots. Give me a second.”

The boy ran off, making his way towards his brother. He bent down, saying something into Ethan’s ear. The older boy immediately whipped his head around, meeting my eyes. My eyes widened as Grayson smacked the back of Ethan’s head, saying, ‘go,’ and pointing to where I was standing. Ethan threw his hands up in defense, quickly pushing himself off of the bench and jogging towards me.

“Hey,” he said once he reached me.

“Hi, Ethan.”

“So,” he started. “About earlier, I’m sorry. I was out of line, and it was total bullshit. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“You’re right, you shouldn’t have, so why did you?”

He groaned, running a hand through his hair. “Jesus, Y/N! Are you really that clueless?”

“Excuse me? Cluele-”

My eyes widened when he leaned closer to me, pressing his lips against mine. My eyes fluttered shut as I melted into the kiss. His soft lips perfectly molding against mine. I brought my hand up to the collar of his jersey, pulling him as close as I possibly could with the fence in between us.

We separated, chests heaving from our lack of breath. With our foreheads touching, I said, “Took you long enough, you idiot.”

He chuckled lightly, “You were clueless, too.”

“Whatever, Dolan.”

“So, now that we’ve both got our heads out of our asses, be mine?”

I pulled away from him, a large grin on my face. “Win the game for me and you’ll get the answer you want.”

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head at me, “Damn, so you’re gonna make me work for it?”

I laughed, nodding at him. “Hell yeah, you’re working for it. So, you better get your ass back on the field and make sure you win,” I replied with a wink. I spun around on my heel, a dumbass smile on my face as I made my way back to my friends.