#anyway. ANYWAY. then i will see someone just casually mention having crushes/relationships/sexual encounters

[2jaeh]

FREAKS I  JUNG JAEHYUN

genre: slight humor, smut, very mature themes

warnings: cheating, slight corruption kink, poly themes, cursing, foreplay, just overall based around hooking up, weed and alcohol

preppy!Jaehyun, Badgirl!reader, bff!Taeyong bff!Ten,  Jaehyunxreader, slight taeyongxreader, slight taeyongxten and tenxjohnny,

mentions of Yuta, Hendery and Johnny. 

words: 8k

You had always gotten what you wanted, whether it be a hookup, an exclusive invitation or riling up people you hated. But the one thing you wanted most was Jung Jaehyun, the preppy boy who always did what he was told and followed closely behind his girlfriend. You would do anything to ruin him and have your name be the only one that escaped his lips. 

A/N: okay so I just want to point out that I don't condone cheating or manipulative methods of any sort. The reader, Ten and Taeyong are very confident sexually with other people, and each other. 

0. prequel (taeyong x ten x reader)

1. Freaks pt 1

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was so out of your character but you just wanted him. You didn’t care if he wasn’t yours to take, you needed him. 

Your eyes lifted as the lecture room began to fill in and you unconsciously searched for that tuft of brown hair and set of dimples. You felt  your heartbeat speed up when you saw him find his seat two rows down from you, completely oblivious to your staring. 

“Still going crazy for Jung Jaehyun I see” you heard a familiar voice sing behind you as they scooted into their seat. 

“Ten please shut up someone could’ve heard you” 

“Babe I’d be extremely surprised if someone in this room didn’t know you had the hots for Jaehyun” Ten stuck his tongue out, pulling out his textbook from his backpack. 

You rolled your eyes knowing your best friend was probably right. You had been crushing on Jaehyun since you laid eyes on him a few months ago after attending one of his basketball games and when he dropped in the winning shot you were fucking hooked. 

The only problem was that Jaehyun had a girlfriend, a long term one at that. You didn’t understand what he saw in her. Apart from her looks, she was quite abrasive and had a habit of making everyone around her feel like shit. Jaehyun on the other hand was a sweetheart. He tried his best to meet everyone’s expectations and was able to adapt in many different social circles. 

Anyone else knew that going after someone who was in a relationship was a dick move, and you did get to an extent, the whole respectful bullshit or whatever. But you and Ten being the assholes that you were, thought that if there was an opening, it’s not as solid as it should be. 

“It’s simple” Ten said as the two of you grabbed ice coffee at the campus cafe, “other people usually just go head on and flirt with someone right off the bat” 

He took a sip of his drink and hummed,

“You need to play the field, you need to make them realize that their options are open.” 

“Very insightful Dr. Lee” you laughed and hooked arms with him, making your way over to a table that was covered by a cherry blossom tree. 

You and Ten noticed Jaehyun and his girlfriend emerge from the lecture hall hand in hand as she pulled him over to her pretentious group of friends. 

“I want him so fucking bad” you groaned as you continued watching him be happy with someone else. 

“Who wants who so bad ?” You heard a giggle and Taeyong, your other close friend made his way over to your table. 

“The never ending Jaehyun and y/n saga” Ten mused, making space for Taeyong on the bench. 

“Not him again” Taeyong took a sip of your coffee, “why do you always like those preppy guys ?” 

“He’s not preppy! He’s like us! You guys just don’t know the real him” you argued, your eyes still filled with stars as you watched him remove his jacket and flex his arms in his plain white tee. 

“Like us?” Taeyong pointed toward Ten, “Ten has fucked half of the swim team and four of them are still trying to get in a relationship with him.” 

You snickered as Ten seemed proud of his achievements, smoothing out his hair and smirked, “I find my true love in different ways okay.” 

The three of you laughed at Tens words but Taeyongs words didn’t bother you. In no way were you like Ten. You didn’t bother with people you weren’t interested in emotionally let alone physically. Jaehyun was the only spark in your eye and the only person on the entire campus that you wanted.

“Anyway there’s a party tonight at Taeil’s place you guys wanna go ?” Taeyong looked between you and Ten for an answer. 

“Yeah fuck it” you responded, popping a piece of ice into your mouth. 

“Let’s just get hammered and maybe y/n will realize there’s other men out there other than Jung Jaehyun” Ten pinched your arm to snap you out of another daydream. 

You hoped his words were true. You really hoped you could get out of this rut. 

——————————-

The cab pulled up at a frat house and the three of you jumped out, dressed up in outfits people were bound to stare down at. This was what you loved most about Ten and Taeyong. There’s no pretending, no reason to hide your true personality in order to please others. You three had fun dressing the way you want, doing whatever the hell you wanted with whomever you wanted. 

“Hey y/n if you looking for someone to help you forget...I’m always available” Taeyong growled in your ear as he grabbed your ass. 

“Down boy” Ten patted Taeyong’s back as he pulled out a cigarette. 

The three of you were quite comfortable sexually with each other too. There had been many drunken nights where your lips were on Taeyong or Ten or Ten and Taeyong on each other. Many people on campus spoke about your scandalous friendship but to you guys it was very natural. 

“I’m gonna get us drinks” Taeyong disappeared into the crowd as strangers already started approaching Ten from different directions. You were a bit more lowkey than they were and preferred to stick to the shadows and hang out with the more obscure personalities campus had to offer. 

You had found Hendery, one of your art major friends standing against the wall, nodding his head to the music as he dragged in what looked like a blunt.

“Hendery!” You poked him cutely and he pulled you into a tight hug, engulfing you with his marijuana fumes. 

“Hey y/n you enjoying yourself ?” He smiled sweetly, his character always being chilled out. 

“I’m good” you took the blunt and placed it to your lips as you took in a long pull. Hendery’s stuff was weak but good enough to make you relax under the loud music and bodies of people. 

You leaned up against the wall and noticed a familiar face on the far end of the room, beer in hand and nodding his head to the music. 

It was Jung Jaehyun. 

Your first instinct was to search for his stupid girlfriend but you quickly realized that she and her friends were not at this party. 

What the hell was he doing at a place like this ? 

You had no idea whether it was the weed or the clouded room but you felt his eyes on you for a brief second, before taking a sip of his drink and brought his gaze back. 

‘Fuck he was so hot’ you thought, unconsciously biting down on your lip and squeezing your thighs together. 

Jaehyun was dressed in a loose black tee and fitted jeans. His brown hair was messy and his lips seemed swollen from wetting them too much. 

Your feet began moving. You maneuvered your way through the crowd and kept your gaze on him until you now stood in front of Jung Jaehyun, the man you have been desperately wanting for two months. 

“Hey there” you moved next to him on the wall casually, “you’re in my business class right?” 

“Oh yeah you sit in the back ?” Jaehyun replied with a smile and held out his hand, “I’m Jaehyun” 

You took his hand in yours and felt a shiver down your spine at the contact. 

“I’m y/n, it’s nice to meet you Jaehyun” you replied as your eyes drifted down to his lips, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at a party like this before ?” 

Jaehyun narrowed his eyes at you and chuckled shyly, 

“I came here with my basketball friends, you do these kind of parties often ?” 

“Yeah most of my friends are here, I was surprised to see a good boy like you here” you kept your eyes focused on the crowd even though you clearly felt Jaehyun shift by your choice of words. 

“A good boy?” He lifted his eyebrow. 

“Yeah well you’re not friends with my friends and we’re quite bad....I assume you’re one of the good ones” you mused, running your fingers through your hair. 

You felt Jaehyuns eyes fall on you briefly, “you don’t seem...bad though” 

“That’s because you don’t know me Jaehyun” you smiled sweetly and looked up at him, “can I get your number ? Maybe you can hang out with me and my friends sometime” 

Jaehyun shifted awkwardly holding onto his phone but despite having a few drinks he still felt a sense of guilt. 

“I - um have a girlfriend,” he said under his breath. 

“Jaehyun I asked for your number to hang out at a party like this” you turned to him and pursed your lips, “I don’t have a problem with getting dick if that’s what you’re insinuating” 

You watched as he waved his hand, clearly embarrassed and handed you his phone, “I’m sorry I just- here” 

Taking his phone you added your number in and sent a text in order to save his number into your phone and handed it back, 

“Thanks, I’ll see you around I guess” 

Jaehyun watched you disappear into the crowd and he felt his ears heat up after the encounter, you had him in the palm of your hand within minutes. 

You already knew he’d be watching. You found Taeyong in the crowd and Taeyong being Taeyong already had his hands on your waist, turning your body so your back was against his chest. You rested your head on his shoulder as he rocked his hips against your ass, placing a soft kiss on your neck as you swayed to the music. 

Taeyong knew what you were doing too. He already saw you talk to Jaehyun earlier on and he was more than happy to help his best friend out. 

You didn’t bother looking at Jaehyun while you danced with Taeyong but Taeyong did. He kept his eyes on Jaehyun as he marked you as his, biting into your shoulder as his free hand found  the lining of your crop top and pushed  his hand under your shirt. 

Jaehyun bit down on his lip, trying his best to look away as you were completely lost in Taeyongs touch. He realized that you were very different to him indeed, clearly unbothered by what people thought of you. 

Even if he were single, he didn’t think he had it in him to make you feel the Taeyong did right now. 

————————————————————————

After a long night the three of you headed back to Ten’s dorm room. Crashing onto his bed and pulling off your boots, you sighed deeply as the headache from the party began to set in. 

“Hey thank you for that tonight Tae” you winked at Taeyong who was spread out on the floor shirtless, trying to order food. 

“The least you could’ve done was help out my damn boner” Taeyong scoffed, “I nearly exploded at the party y/n” 

“Was that for Jaehyun?” Ten asked, sitting at his vanity and removed his eye makeup. 

“Mmm” you groaned and hugged Ten’s pillow, “I have his number now, not sure if he has the guts to text though since Taeyong was practically fucking me in front of him” 

“Hey” Taeyong protested and sat up, “he watched the whole damn thing, he was probably into it.” 

Ten tossed you an oversized tee before joining you in bed, “maybe our Jaehyun is a bad boy after all” he teased. 

You shook your head and shrugged out of your party clothes and threw on Tens shirt, sinking into the bed and opened Jaehyuns contact. 

Ping! 

JJH: When’s the next party ? 

Holy shit. 

————————————————————————

You decided to leave Jaehyun on read for the weekend. On the inside you were screaming but you had to keep your composure. You remembered what Ten had said, ‘you need to find that hole, make them realize their options are open.’ 

It was already Monday and you had to see Jaehyun face to face for the first time since the party. You walked into the lecture and he was already there, seated up front and his eyes lit up when he saw you walk through the doors. 

He shot you a nervous smile and a small wave, making sure it was subtle enough for the people around him to not notice.

As much as you wanted to stare back you kept your eyes focused on the lecture slides in front of you, knowing very well that Jaehyun had turned back for the third time in 30 minutes to look at you. 

“Baby boy is thirsty” Ten smirked, leaning into you as he watched Jaehyun turn around again, flustered at Ten staring him down. You playfully nudged Ten, “you're scaring him,” Ten chuckled at your words and returned to his work as you yourself felt a bit bashful that Jung Jaehyun was finally paying attention to you. 

Class had ended and you walked over to the usual spot, Taeyong was already sprawled out on the bench taking in the afternoon sunlight. “Do you even try to act normal ?” Ten knocked Taeyong’s leg out of the way and flicked his exposed nipple. 

“Ow don't do that it turns me on” he whined, 

“Everything turns you on Taeyong'' you giggled and placed a kiss on his cheek before taking a seat next to him. Taeyong growled and pulled you closer to him, straddling the bench, placing his legs on either side of you. Sometimes you wondered what people thought of the three of you. Ten had mentioned once that someone on the swim team thought you guys were in a polyamorous relationship. As much as all three of you fooled around there was only one hookup that led to a threesome, but that was a story for another day. 

“I still haven't texted him back” you spoke, stuffing a piece of banana muffin in your mouth. 

“I thought you wanted to jump this guy” Taeyong scoffed. 

“He’s still in a relationship and even told me so that night” you explained looking over to where Jaehyun was seated with the rest of the preppy business students and his girlfriend, “If he was drunk enough to stay faithful that means I don't have an opening yet.”

“Is that why he keeps looking over here while sitting next to his girlfriend ?”

Taeyong’s words made you look up and ofcourse Jaehyun was looking over at you despite having an arm around his girlfriend. This time it was less subtle than in the lecture room. He talked with his friends but you had his full attention, making sure to look over at your table every few minutes. 

“If it isn't my favorite polygamists” a low voice bellowed from behind Ten and the three of you looked up and realized it was Ten’s boy of the semester, Johnny Suh. 

“It's really weird when you call us that you know?” Ten rolled his eyes as Johnny hugged him from behind and slid into the seat next to him. Johnny followed your eyes over to where Jaehyun sat and smirked, “Jaehyun ? seriously? You're literally too hot to be chasing someone as boring as him y/n”

“Shut up he is not boring” you popped another piece of the muffin in your mouth.

You studied Jaehyun as you noticed his girlfriend tried to bring his attention back to her conversation, completely unaware that her boyfriend was looking at another girl. Why would she ? She had everything. The perfect grades, the perfect face and body, and the perfect boyfriend. Jaehyun took a look at his beautiful girlfriend as she spoke, he knew why he liked her and why their relationship worked but why did he feel as if he were missing out. His eyes drifted again to that table at the back where the art students sat. They always seemed to have the best time despite half the campus avoiding them or calling them weird for being themselves. A part of him wished he was free to do that too. He was deeply interested in music and the arts, but was scared to share his tastes as he didnt want to be an outcast to his friends. Jaehyun shifted in his seat as he watched that blonde haired guy from the party wrap his hands around your waist, freely caressing your skin in front of everyone as you nonchalantly ate your lunch. 

Arin, Jaehyun’s girlfriend stopped her conversation and followed her boyfriend's eyes to the table at the back. 

“Urgh those freaks have no shame, imagine what their parents would think of them” she pulled her face as her friends hummed in agreement. 

“The other day I saw the black haired guy and Johnny from the basketball team making out in the bleachers” another girl said and Jaehyun noticed Johnny, one of his team mates sitting comfortably with the small black haired boy he always saw you with during your business lecture. 

“T-that reminds me I need to tell Johnny about the meeting today” Jaehyun scratched the back of his head, he didn't know why he wanted to go over there but he was curious to know what you all were like during a campus setting. 

Arin took a sip of her ice latte and flipped her golden brown hair over her shoulder, “can't you just text him ?”

Jaehyun cleared his throat and found himself standing up, throwing his satchel over his shoulder,

“He doesn't answer his texts, I'll be about five minutes.”

Jaehyun gently stroked Arin’s head as she just shrugged, not really finding him suspicious. Why would Jaehyun be interested in people like that ? He was a good guy and he felt most comfortable with her and their circle of friends. 

Meanwhile at your table you four were in deep discussion about Johnny’s little halloween get together. 

“Why are you only inviting 20 people ?” Taeyong’s eyebrows knitted together, “that's not a party that's a meeting.”

“Because Taeyong, I want it to be an intimate vibe you know” Johnny answered and gestured with his arms in the air, “I cant stand half of this fucking campus and I just want to hang out with the people I actually give a shit about”

“You only met us like a month ago, how did we make the cut?” You raised your eyebrow at him and smirked. 

Ten stood up and threw his hands around Johnny and kissed his forehead, “That's because he met me and realized we're the coolest people on campus” Johnny smiled bashfully, completely smitten by Ten as he nodded, “It's true.”

“Uhm Hi..” The four of you stopped your conversation to look at Jaehyun who stood at your table, hands in his pocket, pressing  his lips together nervously which made his dimples more prominent. 

“Whats up Jae ?” Johnny greeted as the rest of you exchanged a few glances. 

Jaehyun briefly looked over at you but he quickly looked away thanks to Taeyong who was placing open mouth kisses on your neck. You smiled to yourself as Jaehyun squirmed uncomfortably, much like everyone that was ever in the presence of you three. Except Johnny ofcourse, he was a weird one. 

“I just came over to let you know that we have a basketball meeting at 3 today” Jaehyun spoke in a surprisingly calm tone. 

“Oh cool thanks for letting me know man” Johnny played the part of the oblivious friend really well, “By the way this is Ten, thats y/n and the guy practically having her for lunch is Taeyong.” 

Taeyong looked up and smiled at Jaehyun and you squeezed his knee, preventing him from doing or saying anything stupid when Jaehyun broke the silence, 

“Oh yeah I actually know Ten and y/n from my business lecture” Jaehyun spoke as his eyes met yours. 

Ten noticed the tension between you two and a menacing smirk spread across his face, “Well since we all know each other you should come to Johnny's halloween party Jaehyun” 

“Halloween party ?” Jaehyun repeated,

“Yeah you should come along, I mean you were asking when is the next party” you added and Jaehyun felt his ears heat up at your words. He had no idea why it felt almost promiscuous just talking to you. 

“I'll let you know the details after the meeting, oh and you're free to bring your girl if you want” Johnny grinned and you don't know why, but his words felt like a stab in the chest. 

You all watched Jaehyun nod shyly and retreat back to his friends as the rest of you turned your heads to face Johnny. “Hey I just wanted to let him know that he could,” Johnny stated, raising his hands up to defend himself. 

“Well I guess if he does bring her then he’s not interested in you, and if he doesn't….”  Ten’s words trailed off as you bit down your lip and you watched Jaehyun turn back to look at you before sitting down next to Arin. 

“I guess we shall see” you murmured. 

————————————

It was the next day you had just finished all your classes and decided to spend a relaxing evening alone at your dorm. You got into an old band shirt and underwear after a steaming shower and jumping on your bed ready to navigate through your social media. 

Ping! 

Ping! 

Your phone vibrated and your eyes gleamed at the sight of Jaehyuns name blinking across the screen. 

JJH: hey

JJH: so....like how many people are going to this party ? 

You lingered on his open message for a while but decided to reply to him this time instead of leading him on. 

Y/n: I think Johnny said about 20 people...it’s very small. 

JJH: oh I see. 

JJH: you’re going with your...boyfriend right ? 

Y/n: boyfriend ? 

JJH: I think his name is Taeyong

Your lips curled into a smirk. Jaehyun was definitely curious about your relationship with Taeyong, and it could mean he was trying to figure out more about you. 

y/n: Taeyong is not my boyfriend 

You looked at the three dots that signaled he was typing, it seemed to take a while before your phone finally vibrated again. 

JJH: oh, I see. Uhm so do we have to dress up ? 

Y/N: yeah ! It’s a Halloween party Ofcourse we have to, did Johnny not tell you ? 

JJH: I don’t fully believe anything he says so I just wanted a second opinion. 

Y/n: well dress up, or else I’ll be very disappointed Jaehyun...

Another moment of silence this time it was longer than the last one. Finally your phone lit up and Jaehyuns name popped up, 

JJH: what are you wearing ? 

JJH: I mean like to the party not right now

JJH: like costume .... 

JJH: that message came out so weird I’m sorry 

You giggled to yourself wishing you were there with him to see his ears redden and him stumble over his words as he got nervous around you. God he was so fucking cute. 

y/n: it’s a surprise ! 

JJH: oh I see.. 

y/n: I’m sure you and Arin can figure something out, anyways I gotta go...I’ll see you around Jae.

Jaehyun's eyes narrowed on your message. He felt an adrenaline rush while he texted you. To him, you were the coolest girl on campus and he couldn’t believe you even bothered to text him back. 

But then his shoulders dropped when he saw Arins name. It was like a dark cloud looming over his head. He had no idea if he should let Arin know about the party, it’s not like she’d agree to come anyway, did that mean he shouldn’t go too ? 

———————————-

It was finally the evening of the party and you Taeyong and Ten decided to get ready at your dorm. Ten scoffed as Taeyong emerged from the bathroom in red leather pants and a black harness that covered his bare chest.

“You're supposed to wear a costume you know ?” Ten raised his eyebrow as Taeyong strutted around the room looking like a red light district stripper. 

“I AM in costume baby, i'm a devil” Taeyong pouted and placed a pair of novelty devil horns on his head. 

“Fuck if this Jaehyun thing really doesn't work out I want a piece of that” you licked your lips as Taeyong’s smirk grew, “I told you all you gotta say when and where” he purred. 

“y/n I know you love fucking around with twinks but can you please concentrate on the task at hand ?” Ten grumbled and pushed his phone in front of you, waving Jaehyuns instagram in front of your face. 

You bit down on your lip as you noticed Jaehyun posted a semi shirtless picture for the first time and the comments were absolutely wild. Many people thought he was hacked and the others were just asking him to jump them. You also noticed a lot of people tagging Arin under the thirst comments which she replied simply with a like. 

“You think he is gonna show up tonight and bring her ?”  you pouted while applying a coat of lip gloss. 

“Either way baby we will have a good time, I'll guarantee you that” Ten stroked your head before heading to the bathroom to prep his costume. You shimmied into your zombie cheerleader costume, ignoring Taeyong’s whistles as he caught a glimpse of your lacy two piece set. The only person you wanted to see your newly bought lingerie was Jaehyun. 

Ten finally emerged from the bathroom in an all black shiny leather pants with a matching crop top long sleeve. He looked absolutely delicious with his hair gelled back and his dark  eye make-up accentuated his cat-like eyes. 

“And what the fuck are you supposed to be?” you chuckled, mouth still gaping as you took in his gorgeous figure. 

“Im a cat!” Ten posed cutely, turning his hands into cat paws and brought them up to his face. 

“You look like a dominatrix” Taeyong snorted, earning a flick on the forehead from Ten. 

You stood up and smoothed out your extremely short skirt as you slipped into your hot pink platform boots. You were going for a cute zombie cheerleader, tearing up a bit of your clothes gave you an excuse to show a bit of that expensive lingerie. 

“Is my outfit okay ?” you chewed on your bottom lip as you turned to face Ten and Taeyong. 

“Babe I've never seen you this nervous before” Ten groaned as he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind. It's true, you were a very confident person but you were so clued up on what attracted Jaehyun and what didn't that you began second guessing yourself constantly. 

“I...I just want him to like me” You played with the hem of your shirt, when you felt Taeyong stand up and approach the two fo you. 

“If he doesn't like you, for you...then he isn't worth it” Taeyong patted your head and his other hand grabbed Ten’s shoulder, pulling the both of you into a tight hug. It felt good knowing you always had them, they were your soulmates, your ride or die, they meant the absolute world to you. 

“If it all doesn't work out lets come back here and fuck” Taeyong whispered and you pushed him off playfully, while Ten pulled his face as he returned to his vanity, “classic Taeyong” he shook his head. 

The three of you arrived at Johnny’s apartment and you could already hear the chill hip hop playlist vibrating against the door. Ten rolled his eyes as he punched in the door code, “I’ll have to do something about that music,” he tutted, as the three of you walked in greeted by your usual group of friends. 

There were a few of Johnny’s basketball mates, the cool ones who snuck around smoking weed with the stoners. You nodded at the familiar faces, Yuta the resident tattoo artist from fourth year, Hendery the distributor from your year and Chaeyoung from Ten’s fashion design class. 

Everyone seemed to be in costume, you didn't expect anything less from a group of creatives. Suddenly Johnny emerged from the kitchen holding a few bottles when his eyes lit up at the sight of Ten. Johnny shoved the drinks to an unsuspecting man and jogged over while you and Taeyong tried to stifle your laughter. 

“Johnny darling what are you supposed to be dressed as?” Ten mused as his eyes narrowed on Johnny’s selection of outfit. 

“Im Tony the Tiger baby!” Johnny flexed, obviously amused by his own outfit as he spun around in his tiger onesie. 

“You didn't tell us Johnny was a furry” Taeyong teased as Ten backhanded his abdomen. You could tell that Ten liked Johnny unlike his usual flings. If any of the others pulled this type of stunt he would have walked straight out of this party and called over a side piece. 

“Okay Tony the Tiger, can you take a picture of me and my loves for the gram ?” Ten mused and handed his phone over to Johnny. The three of you posed sexily as Johnny hyped you all up, capturing every angle possible. Ten immediately updated the picture to instagram and the likes and comments immediately flew in, asking what party you guys were at. This was how it always was. Nobody wanted to be friends with you guys but nobody wanted to miss out on your adventures together. 

Jaehyun took a look at himself in the mirror, adorning his basketball outfit and topped it off with a sweatband around his head. “This is fucking dumb” he thought, second guessing using his team outfit as a halloween costume. The problem was he was told on such short notice that he couldn't really prepare for it. What if their idea of halloween was just dressing up normally, or what if they went all out and he would be the only one in a basic costume ?

Jaehyun sucked in a deep breath as he took a seat on his bed and scrolled through his feed to settle his nerves. While scrolling he noticed one of his friends shared Ten’s post to his story, and immediately clicked it, sucking on his bottom lip as the picture of the three of you unfolded. 

You guys were in a different league indeed. Unbelievably confident in your outfits, knowing that everyone was wishing for a chance to be with one of you. Jaehyun’s eyes drifted to you and he felt his breathing hitch, feeling like a prepubescent teen looking at a girl for the first time. 

A knock at the door jolted him out of his thoughts and he opened the door to Arin accompanied by three of their friends. Arin reached up and placed a soft kiss on Jaehyun’s lips before entering his dorm and taking a seat on his bed.

“Why are you in your basketball uniform ?” Arin questioned as she scrolled through her phone. 

“I...Am going to attend a party..” Jaehyun scratched the back of his head as all eyes were on him. A boy named Minhyuk, Jaehyun knew through Arin cocked his head in confusion, “You're going to a party wearing your uniform ?” 

“It's a costume party, I was invited by Johnny” Jaehyun replied to him yet his eyes were Arin waiting for a response. Arin looked up at him and scrunched up her nose, “aren't all those freaks at that party ?”

“Yeah well I'm going for the team, If you want. you can come along” Jaehyun didn't even try to sound convincing, there was no way he wanted Arin or any of his business class friends accompanying him tonight.  It didn't have anything to do with you or his odd attraction to the group, it was rather a test for himself, he wanted to see if that kinda lifestyle was what he was craving. 

“I’ll pass” Arin chuckled dryly and grabbed her purse before placing a peck on Jaehyuns cheek, “you go for a bit darling, I know it's a team thing, when you're bored come find us at the country club wine night.” 

Jaehyun watched everyone leave his dorm and he sighed deeply, still feeling like he lied even though he completely told Arin the truth about his future whereabouts. 

“Where is the loverboy ?” Johnny nudged you as you poured yourself another shot of vodka and redbull. You shrugged already deciding on not keeping your hopes up when you heard one of Johnny's frat buffoons scream Jaehyun's name. Spinning on your heels you turned toward the entrance and noticed his shy frame greeting the guys from the basketball team. 

“He wore his basketball uniform, Oh my God” Ten snickered along with Taeyong and Johnny. 

“He looks hot shut up” You bit down on your lip as your eyes locked with his and he made his way over to you. Jaehyun ruffled his hair as he mumbled a few hellos to Taeyong and Ten before giving Johnny a handshake. 

“Glad you made it man, Arin here too ?” Johnny threw his arm around Jaehyun and shoved a beer in his hands. Jaehyun shook his head and took a sip of his beer, “nah it's just me” he spoke and looked over at you. On the outside you probably looked composed but on the inside you were screaming victories. Ten could definitely see the excitement and shot you a wink before clearing his throat, 

“Well now that you're here we can finally play spin the bottle!” 

“S-spin the bottle ?” Jaehyun chewed on his lip nervously,

“Yeah but like just a few of us come on let's go to Johnny's room” Ten hooked arms with Johnny as he grabbed a few more drinks for you guys to enjoy in privacy. 

Jaehyun waited until you were left and the two of you made your way down the hallway to Johnny’s room. You brushed against his bare arm as you walked and looked up at him, “I love your costume, very original” you chuckled and Jaehyun blushed. 

“It was short notice, I look stupid but you on the other hand” Jaehyun’s eyes drifted over your figure, “y-you look amazing” 

“Thank you Jaehyun.” 

You entered the room and noticed Ten had collected Yuta, Hendery, Chaeyoung and one of the fourth years Seungyoun to play the game with the rest of you. Taeyong raised his eyebrow as everyone took a seat in a circle, “Did Ten handpick players for a game or an orgy ?”

Everybody chuckled but Jaehyun shifted awkwardly in the seat next to you. You placed a reassuring hand on his arm and his eyes darted to you, looking like a lost puppy,

“He tends to speak rubbish just ignore him” you smiled. Jaehyun nodded and pressed his lips together as Ten cleared his throat in order for everyone to pay attention,

“Okay please keep the dares spicy but not too spicy we have some taken people in the circle” 

Jaehyun looked around the room and noticed the girl called Chaeyoung thank Ten for his words, making him a bit more comfortable that he wasn't the only one in a relationship playing this game. Ten was the first to spin and the bottle landed on Hendery, who was in the middle of lighting a blunt. 

“What me first ?” he whined and gave Ten his best puppy eyes in order to go easy on him. 

Ten licked his lips and looked around the room, “I dare you to swop boxers with Seungyoun” 

The room filled with whistles and disgusted noises as Johnny pointed to his en suite bathroom for the exchange to go down. You all watched as Hendery and Seungyoun disappeared into the bathroom for a good ten minutes and emerged with Seungyoun adjusting his crotch area clearly irritated. 

“His fucking boxers are too tight” Seungyoun groaned while the rest of you laughed at his complaints. 

Hendery spun the bottle and it landed on you, which made you feel a little at ease as Hendery wasn't the meanest person you knew. 

“Do a body shot off of Yuta’s bare body” he said returning to light his precious blunt. 

Yuta tore his shirt off within seconds and lay in the middle of the circle with a lemon slice in his mouth. Jaehyun had no fucking idea what a body shot was but he felt his heartbeat speed up as he watched you sprinkle a line of salt down Yuta’s abs and straddle his lap confidently. He had never seen people be this comfortable with each other, he barely even uttered a word of his sex life to any of his friends. 

“Yuta get your hand off y/n’s thigh” Taeyong snapped, as Yuta smirked still licking the lemon slice that was placed between his teeth. 

You chugged back the shot of tequila and pinned Yuta’s wrists to the floor as your tongue slowly licked up the salt from his body. Jaehyun watched everything intently, you were a pro, so natural and experienced with things like this. He unconsciously licked his lips as you retrieved the lemon slice from Yuta’s mouth, your tongues touching for a brief second before you climbed off him and returned to your seat. 

“My turn” you sang and spun the bottle which landed on Johnny. He shot you a dashing smile still sitting in his tiger onesie with his arms wrapped around Ten. 

“Since you want to be part of our group so bad, here's an initiation..Kiss Taeyong” you smirked as Johnny’s mouth dropped and Ten burst into a fit of laughter. 

Taeyong shrugged and raised his eyebrow at Johnny, to him shit like this didn't phase him at all. Johnny slowly crawled over to Taeyong and hesitantly leaned in, his huge frame comically shaking in front of the small man. Johnny placed a finger under Taeyongs chin and kissed him softly for about a minute until he yelled and stood up, 

“He stuck his tongue in my mouth!” Johnny whined, 

“And ? How else do you kiss ?” Taeyong rolled his eyes and wiped his lips as the bigger man continued throwing a fit until Ten calmed him down, 

“It's your turn baby” 

Johnny frowned but spun the bottle, this time it landed on Jaehyun who now sat upright as everyone's eyes were now on him. 

“Please go easy on him” you mused and rubbed Jaehyun’s back in order to calm him down. 

“Uh...it's okay I can handle it” Jaehyun responded with a small smile and looked up at Johnny. 

“Okay” Johnny began, “because you're my homie all you gotta do is take off your shirt and keep it that way for the rest of the game.”

Jaehyun felt the tension as he got to his feet and caressed the hem of his shirt. Everyone watched in anticipation as he slowly lifted his shirt, quickly pushing it over his head and discarded it behind him. You marvelled at his toned body, wishing everyone else were not in the room so you could jump him. Heck everybody could watch, you wanted him so bad. 

Everyone whistled as Jaehyun took his seat and his cheeks reddened slightly, he couldn't believe he was sitting shirtless with a group of people he barely knew. 

The game went on with various pairings taking part in stupid dares until Johnny called the end to the game because he wanted all of you to socialize with everyone else on the outside but you all knew he just wanted everyone out of his bedroom so he could fuck Ten. 

The party moved on and you found yourself lingering in the hallway just sipping on your drink when you noticed Jaehyun watching you from a few feet away. You shot him a smile, giving him an invitation to join you and he finally gathered the courage to do so. 

“Hey” Jaehyun smiled and leaned on the wall opposite you. His eyes would briefly move to your body and each time he would mentally scold himself which you noticed and found amusing. 

“You know Jaehyun if you find me attractive it's not a crime” you smirked, 

“What's in my mind feels like a crime though” 

“Oh?” you cocked your head to the side, “and what's on your mind?” 

Jaehyun blushed and bit down on his lip, “you don't want to know” 

This was it, the opening. You slowly walked over to Jaehyun and when he didn't move you moved even closer, just a few inches away from his body. Jaehyun gulped as he watched you lick your lips seductively and your dark eyes looked up at him. 

“Do you want to show me ?” you purred and ghosted your fingers lightly across his bicep. 

“Fuck I want to….but” 

You placed your index finger to your lips and shook your head, “There's a reason you came over here Jaehyun, and if you cared about your relationship you wouldn't allow me to be this close right now”

You pushed yourself up on your toes and placed your lips against his ear, “I’ll give you one last chance, tell me no and walk out of this party, go back to her and forget about me or stay and show me what's on that dirty mind of yours.” 

Jaehyun felt goosebumps on his skin, he had never felt this way with anyone in his entire life. With Arin their sex life was pretty vanilla and whenever he would try to spice it up, she would shut him down and say she wasn't interested. But here with you, he was hard as rock just by your words. He couldn't even imagine what it probably felt like to have you bent over and him have his way with you. The only thing on his mind was ruining your pretty make-up as he took you from behind.

You moved closer again, challenging him in order to make up his mind but he surprised you by licking his lips as he looked down at you with hungry eyes. Within seconds your lips were attached to his and you felt dizzy with ecstasy. He was sweeter than you dreamed and he matched your desperation as he caressed your face groaning into the kiss finally releasing his pent up stress. 

You pulled away and Jaehyun whined already missing your lips and you giggled cutely, “before I continue I do want to say that I do like you Jaehyun like fucking really like you” 

“You like me ? why? Aren't I too boring for you” his eyes looked at you puzzled. You grabbed his hand and led him into the free bedroom next to Johnny's room and locked the door behind you, drowning out the noise from the party. 

“Yeah I like you and no you're not boring you're one of us, I know it” 

Jaehyun felt flushed, he somehow felt he was included in something he had always been missing. Despite all the sexual innuendos and the drugs sex and alcohol lifestyle that became the brand of the group he saw something more. Everyone was comfortable and nobody judged him here. Sure he didn't fit in and they could've easily outcast him like the prep group would've, but everyone was so nice to him. On top of all of that he was incredibly attracted to you, and now that you had confessed to him he only wanted you more. 

From the first night you approached him he was floored. He wished he swapped places with Taeyong just to make you feel like you were on cloud 9. He loved how unapologetically yourself you were and all he wanted was to learn from you. Learn more about himself and explore freely without feeling boxed in. 

“Fuck y/n I like you too, from the moment I laid eyes on you I wanted you” Jaehyun groaned and placed his hands on your shoulders, “I’ll deal with Arin right now if you want me too, Im yours.”

You bit down on your lip and pulled him closer by his waistband as he noticed your eyes darken under the dimmed lights,

“No….I kinda wanna fuck you while she thinks she still has you” You mewled, and licked your lips.

Your words made Jaehyun go crazy and his lips were back on yours this time rougher than before. He practically ripped open your skirt as you rid yourself of your boots,

“Shit fuck im sorry I’ll buy you another” he cursed and you chuckled leading him over to the bed. You discarded his shirt and basketball shorts, purring at the sight of his greek statue-like physique. Jaehyun helped you out of your shirt and ran his large hands over your breasts and lower back as you straddled him. This exchange was different for you too. Many hookups were just filled with lust but none had this type of passion and desperation. There were moments where you and Jaehyun would just exchange gazes, completely in awe of the other person. 

You ran your fingers below the waistband of his boxers and felt his hardened member twitch at your touch. Jaehyun moaned into your ears as you teased him, stroking him gently while nipping away at his neck. “You gonna be a good boy and let me mark you ?” you cooed and Jaehyun whined in response, turning his head allowing you to turn his pale skin purple. 

“Baby Arin is gonna see what i've done to your neck, should I stop?” 

“No please dont...stop” Jaehyun squirmed underneath you completely under your spell. 

You pulled down Jaehyun’s boxers and watched his member spring up and hit his abdomen. You quickly rid yourself of your bra and panties and rolled onto your back, spreading your legs and turned your head to Jaehyun, 

“Show me how much you want me baby, show me what you were thinking about earlier on” you moaned and Jaehyun thought he was going to explode just by how needy you were for him. 

Jaehyun sat up and hovered over you as his eyes softened, running his hand over your body “If its too much, please let me know” you reached up to caress his face, feeling butterflies in your stomach from his sweet words,

“Sure baby, just give me your best I just want you so bad” 

Jaehyun’s expression switched and his eyes narrowed like a lion looking at its prey. He brought his hand up and slapped you on your ass which made you moan out loud. He used the opportunity to finally play out his fantasy and flipped you over so you were on your hands and knees, ass on full display for him as he licked his lips at the sight. 

He placed two digits in his mouth, lathing them up before pushing them into your already wetness. Your moan earned another smack from Jaehyun and he pumped his fingers in you at an extremely slow and agonizing pace. You whined into the pillow and he smirked, he couldn't believe he got you to beg for his touch like this. 

“Baby I don't have a condom” He mumbled, still keeping his fingers inside of you as you whined beneath him,

“I'm on the pill, just cum wherever you want” You groaned as you felt Jaehyun’s fingers move a bit faster. 

Jaehyun growled at your words and without warning he replaced his fingers with his member and slammed into you, grabbing both your hands and retrained them behind your back. He marvelled at the site of your face pressed into the bed as he restrained your touch and fucked you from behind. 

“That feels so fuckiing good Jae” you cried, the sensation was already too much for you to handle but you tried your best not to chase your orgasm just yet. 

“You're so tight fuck” Jaehyun groaned as he felt you squeeze around him sending his mind into a frenzy. Jaehyun pulled out of you and flipped you back over, entering you while your thighs locked around his waist. Your eyes were locked on him as he fucked you harder than anyone has before, that shy boy he was a few hours ago was completely gone. 

“Are you ready to cum baby?” Jaehyun hummed in your ear as he still pounded into you mercilessly and wrapped his hand around throat. 

“Y-yeah” you managed to say, feeling as though you were going to see fucking stars any second. 

Jaehyun bit into your shoulder as he used all his energy to bring to your orgasm before he himself exploded. You finally sighed deeply signaling your orgasm had reached and Jaehyun pulled out of you, coming undone all over your stomach, the sight of him totally fucked out was absolutely delicious. 

Jaehyun watched you swipe your index finger across your stomach and bring it to your mouth, tasting him as if it was the sweetest thing in the world. 

“Fuck…” he watched you, already feeling like you were about to make him as hard as a rock again. 

You wrapped your hand around his neck and pulled him in for a soft yet passionate kiss. Jaehyun broke away and quickly got tissues to clean the both of you up before collapsing in the bed next to you. 

“That was the best fuck i've had in my entire life” he sighed and placed his arm around your head and pulled you into a tight hug. 

“Same for me baby, but let's get dressed before one of my crazy friends decides to join us” you giggled and threw him his boxers. 

You and Jaehyun dressed up and you managed to safety pin the skirt rip Jaehyun had made, still hearing him mutter apologies as the two of you made your way back to the party. 

The two of you found the main group hanging around the kitchen snacking on pizza until they saw the two of you and everyone started howling and whistling. 

“Can you guys shut the fuck up” You rolled your eyes as you grabbed a slice and rested your head on Ten’s shoulder. Johnny went in and high fived Jaehyun, “damn didn't think you had it in you brother” Johnny patted his back as Jaehyun slipped into the seat next to you and held your waist. 

“I guess Jaehyun is one of us” Taeyong said, quite impressed by the outcome. 

“I told you guys, oh wait” You stopped to pull out your phone and turn on the front facing camera, “smile” 

Jaehyun chuckled and leaned closer into the frame as the flash blinked, just before the shutter went off you turned to him and licked his cheek seductively. Taking a quick look at the picture you smirked as you uploaded the picture to your instagram and watched as your whole timeline exploded with the scandalous picture. 

You held the phone up to Jaehyun as he watched the comments flooding in, many people mad at his adultery and many people surprised he managed to even pull a girl like you and gave him props. 

“Welcome to the freaks club Jung Jaehyun” you smirked.

Taeten x reader prequel here 

[yukipri]

Marco’s Bauble Part 8 - a One Piece Mermaid AU Text Story

Another update for Tumblr!

This work goes by On the Courtship of Monkey D. Luffy on AO3, and I’ll be updating over there tonight as well!

A quick question....do people like reading the updates here on Tumblr? Or now that it’s on AO3, would people prefer to read there? And if so, would you be okay waiting for new updates until AO3 catches up? I’m a little torn because I’m not sure if people are enjoying reading on here, and it’s quite a hassle to format for Tumblr, and it’s getting a bit difficult for me to juggle updating these stories on 3 separate platforms...

ANYWAY, in this update, Thatch has some Thoughts, and there is mention of Ace x Luffy.

Continues off of, and should be read after:

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 1

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 2

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 3

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 4

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 5

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 6

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 7

~~

What are her 3 sizes?

(For the wedding dress, of course.)

"The fuck! Like I'd tell you!" Thatch roars, startling the blue gull into momentarily leaping off the rail, before it circles back, landing again to peck at his  sleeve to express its displeasure. Thatch ignores it, because he's fuming.

So apparently all of his and Koala's secret debates over whether Marco intentionally proposed or not were for naught, because here's the fucking evidence. And it comes from Izo of all people, because Thatch would recognize that lopsided handwriting anywhere (the man insists that his handwriting is beautiful in his native language of Wano, but he never quite got used to writing any other way).

And well, if Izo, an unrelated third party but professional snooper knows, then Marco himself must know.

And apparently, they're already planning a wedding.

Thatch feels like an idiot. He'd been defending Marco against Koala, and the lil Revolutionary was a tough opponent, one he'd had to chase out of the kitchen with a ladle more than once when he was tired of her word games. Thatch had insisted, like a fool, that no Marco's not that kind of guy, he really isn't the type to play with people's emotions, he would never propose for a joke, nor would he do it seriously without good reason. It must all be an accident, a little misunderstanding, Marco was just ignorant like Thatch himself was!

Except, apparently he did know and it wasn't an accident, and now Thatch feels completely lost because he doesn't know what Marco's thinking at all. Marco, who's not just his his first friend on the Moby, but arguably his best friend; Marco, his brother over several decades; Marco, who Thatch thought he knew better than anyone, except perhaps Pops himself...

Thatch's also pissed, because if Marco wants to start drama after they all reunite and he's introduced to Luffy, that's one thing (not that that would be great either). But right now, they're still near the beginning of Paradise with almost half the circumference of the world to go until even the halfway point, and Marco is WAY on the other side of the Red Line. If this ship explodes in flames or whatever that batshit Revolutionary brother might do, Mister First Division Commander is completely unaffected, but there are plenty of innocents here (like hello! Thatch!) who would find that pretty devastating.

Also, Thatch was the one who passed on that gift to Luffy! Even if he didn't know what it meant at the time...doesn't that make Thatch complicit? And even if not, Marco's strongest connection here is clearly Thatch. If Marco's actions cause chaos, then the blame and responsibility to clean up the mess naturally falls upon Thatch. Which, he definitely did not sign up for.

Pops, Thatch thinks miserably, I thought I was supposed to show them they can depend on us Whitebeards, NOT that us Whitebeards will fuck shit up for them...

But more than anything, there's a shocking large part of Thatch that absolutely balks at just the idea of Luffy getting married. And it's shocking because Thatch shouldn't feel this upset.

Marco, for all the complaints Thatch wants to hurl at him at the moment, is still a really great guy. A guy who, in literally any other situation, Thatch would be the first in line to enthusiastically encourage, and also to congratulate.

And sure, Thatch knows he has a crush, and his little Seastar's carving out a larger home for herself in his heart by the day, but--Thatch admittedly has crushes a lot. Sure, this one feels different, but...Marco, to his knowledge, has never had a romantic crush. He only sometimes but very rarely even has a night out, and Thatch doesn't think he's ever held a relationship longer than three encounters. He's always so serious, so diligent, so sincerely and whole-heartedly dedicated to Pops and his family. He almost never does anything selfish for himself, and Thatch would know.

If, for whatever reason, Marco is genuinely serious about Luffy...then Thatch should, and would, step to the side, regardless of personal feelings. If this is the path Marco wants, then he deserves it, and Thatch will always be the first to say it, no matter how craptastic the circumstances. And Thatch knows that Marco would give his bride the world.

Without them even having met, Thatch doesn't doubt for a second that Marco would make Luffy happy, till the end of her days.

The fact that Thatch knows all this, yet still feels near unbearable reluctance...says more than he's willing to admit.

And so he decides to avoid thinking about the most obvious reason (his own feelings), and instead contemplates his second very compelling reason: Ace.

His littlest brother isn't so great at being honest with himself, and never has. But this, Thatch feels, isn't just a matter of denial.

The boy literally has no clue.

Oh sure, Ace knows he loves his little brother. He makes sure everyone else knows it too, both here on the Merry and back on the Moby once he opened up enough to talk to people. He's so damn proud of her, yet also concerned for her, while also trusting her with his life and more. It's clear to anyone who sees them together that he absolutely adores her.

But it's more than that, isn't it, Thatch thinks. It's in the little gestures, the way Ace raises his arm up without looking at her and she slides under it, also without needing to look at him. It's the casual way they lace their fingers together, like it's nothing, when they're snoozing out on the deck. It's the way sometimes they have unspoken conversations, just staring into each others eyes, before moving forward in synch to meet in the middle to bump their foreheads together in some secret mutual understanding.

It's the reason why Sanji, for all his extravagant flirting, knows when to shut up and return to being a normal human (and, Thatch grudgingly admits, this applies to himself too). It's why Zoro never lets his gaze linger more than two seconds longer than it needs to (but he'll always take those two seconds), why Nami always looks like she wants to sit closer but doesn't, why Koala hasn't said anything when she's probably usually a much more proactive flirter.

Everyone on their crew can see it, except the two in question.

Ace, Thatch thinks, heaving a huge sigh as he looks down at the crumpled note from Izo in his palm. Little brother, you are so fucking in love.

It might not necessarily be romantically. It's certainly not particularly sexually, if Ace's lack of reaction to Lu's aggressive physical smothering is any indication. It could very possibly be platonically.

But either way, there's no room for Sanji, nor Zoro, nor the girls, nor even Thatch himself...at least, until those two figure that out.

Until then, everyone aboard the Merry is here because they love and respect their captains. No one would dare encroach on something so special, yet so potentially immature, not yet ready to be dragged out to be recognized.

Thatch knows Ace has known Luffy for years, he practically raised her. But he was also away at sea for three years. Luffy was a child when he left; she's an adult now.

Thatch once asked him if she had changed at all since he last saw her (Ace most certainly had, according to Deuce). And Ace looked blank, then horribly confused, before saying No...but also, yeah, I guess. Thatch understands; Ace isn't used to not knowing something about Luffy. And something...something had changed.

That something might very well be the thing that needs to be figured out. And for that, Ace hasn't had much time yet, since reuniting with Luffy. Only as much time as the rest of them, in fact. And they deserve time to figure that out, and as the two captains' loving crew, the ASL pirates have an unsaid agreement to watch over them...at least until they have.

(After that, Thatch thinks grimly, it might be open game.)

But of course, there's also the question of Luffy herself, and as much as she's the heart of the ASL Pirates, she's also an enigma. Thatch, for all that he adores her and honestly wants more with her, genuinely has a hard time imagining her as anything but clueless as someone's romantic partner (he's carefully not thinking about anything sexual). It very well may be that the whole "figuring out" that she and Ace have to do...ends up being nothing. And that's fine as well.

Either way, as much as Thatch loves him, there's no way that any of them here on board the Merry will stand to let Marco shatter this delicate...whatever it is that's going on between their captains, that the rest of them are so patiently respecting. Even if it ends up continuing indefinitely.

As strained as it can feel at times, they're comfortable like this. There's the little spark of joy when Seastar gives him a little extra attention, a little burn when Sanji kisses her hand, but comfort in the stability that no one will go any further. If anything it's a nice little spice to their daily lives, just the right amount, and not enough ruin the dish so to speak. This is fine.

Except, that there's just one teeny little problem...

"What did the blue gull bring you today, Commander?"

Thatch doesn't jump, because he's not an amateur and did realize that the Revolutionary was approaching, but perhaps later than he should have. Damn the kid's good at hiding his presence, and Thatch wonders if he'd have noticed at all if Sabo was being serious.

"Just a stupid request from a stupid brother," Thatch says cheerfully as he turns around to face Sabo. The boy isn't even trying to hide his curiosity, his gaze pinned to Thatch's hand.

Thatch contemplates chucking the letter into the sea, but then he realizes he isn't sure Sabo wouldn't just dive after it, and as a devil fruit user, Thatch wouldn't be able to stop him from reading it underwater.

So he casually uncurls his fingers, watches Sabo visibly perk up--before Thatch opens a black hole in his palm, letting the crumpled paper get sucked into the void.

(Perhaps he should be using his power as more than a secure second dimension pocket expansion, but hey, so far it hasn't been so helpful in the kitchen.)

Sabo sags and sulks, rather cutely, Thatch thinks. "You coulda let me see it," he pouts, looking up at Thatch with an expression uncannily like Luffy's. Fuck.

"Collecting intel, Chief?" Thatch winks, expertly hiding his horror that for a moment, he'd actually been tempted. Little sneak.

"Perhaps." Something slightly manic enters his gaze, and alright, that's nothing like Seastar, not so cute after all...

"Nice try, but it's a personal family thing, can't really share," Thatch says, and it's not really a lie.

Sabo grunts, letting it go, before his gaze flicks to the gull, who still has a beakful of Thatch's sleeve. "It waiting for something?"

Thatch sighs. "Yeah, yeah, my response, which I should probably give..." Because, right, Thatch needs to send a message back to the Moby, even if no, he isn't going to answer Izo's idiotic question.

Which, is actually a fine excuse to extract himself from this situation.

"So, sorry, the response also is personal, hope you don't mind," Thatch nods, and Sabo easily opens the way for him--which, Thatch belatedly realizes, he'd actually been blocking. Scary, little Chief, scary...

"Sorry, didn't mean to pry." Sabo sounds genuinely apologetic, and tips his hat at Thatch as he passes by, and Thatch inwardly heaves a massive sigh of relief. "I'm working on it, but I know I can get a little...pushy, when it comes to things that involve my baby brother."

Thatch continues to walk away.

But inside...

Oh. Yikes, he thinks.

~~

Thatch is in the privacy of the currently empty men's sleeping room beneath the deck, and has just finished writing and giving instructions and bribes to the gull when the hatch creaks open.

"Thatch, we're in trouble," Koala announces as she stomps down the stairs, making her sneaky opening of the door rather pointless.

"I noticed," Thatch says dryly.

Koala pales. "He didn't break any of your toes, did he?!"

"What."

"Well, you're a cook, you make food Luffy likes with your hands," Koala shrugs. "Just wanted to make sure."

"What the fuck."

"I don't think he will! You're Luffy and Ace's crew, and you're a Whitebeard pirate, but..."

Thatch groans. "I already thought your Chief might be trouble, but holy shit I didn't know he was that batshit."

"He might not be!" Koala sounds defensive, but it's not particularly comforting. "He's usually reasonable, kind of, but since his memories came back..."

Thatch throws up his arms. "So, how'd he get it out of you?"

Koala flushes. "I didn't say anything!"

"Sure."

"It's not my fault that Sabo's a damn--!"

There's a loud knock, before the hatch flings open, and Ace pops his head in. "Hey Thatch! What's for snack--"

"NOT AGAIN!" Koala cries.

At the same time, Thatch shouts, "IN A SECOND!"

Either way, the hatch slams shut with a, "SORRY!"

Thatch and Koala stare at each other with their hearts beating uncomfortably rapidly.

They slowly heave a slow sigh of relief as the tension drains.

"I really need to apologize to Ace," Thatch mutters.

"I really need to work on my Observation Haki," Koala groans.

"HEY THATCH, I WANT A SNACK," Luffy shouts, and Thatch and Koala's heads whip around in horror, only to sag with relief at seeing that Luffy's not in the room, but only for a second--

--because after that second, a mermaid's crashing through the hatch, ripping it from its hinges as she slams, hatch and all, into Thatch's chest.

The room fills with dust and debris, and there are shouts outside.

Koala gingerly peers into the wreckage where Thatch is now buried in the wall, a terrified blue gull  perched on her shoulders peering alongside her, its claws digging through the fabric of her shirt.

"We're fine," Thatch coughs, peering down to make sure he'd successfully caught and shielded Luffy from damage, even as he peels himself from the wood. Luffy seems unharmed, though her eyes are wide; she clearly hadn't expected to do quite this much.

"...Armament?" Koala asks, noticing how the back of Thatch's hair is black from where it's fanned around him.

"Armament," Thatch agrees, keeping the entire back of his body coated until he's safely pulled himself and Luffy, still in his arms, away from any sharp wood.

"Sorry, Thatch," Luffy says, not particularly apologetic, if anything sort of curious. She peels herself back from his chest, scritching her cheek while looking down at what was once the hatch to the mens room that had shattered between them. She then reaches back to tug at Thatch's black locks, and oohs when they fade back to auburn.

"No worries, just make sure to make it up to Deuce and Usopp when they have to fix this," Thatch sighs, before grinning, letting his arms fall away from Luffy once he knows she has a secure grip on his shoulders. He then begins carding his fingers through her hair to make sure no splinters got in, and likewise dusting off the front of her vest, taking care not to let his touch linger. Luffy nods frantic agreement, more like rubs her head into his palm, and Thatch feels his heart skip a beat.

Koala sighs.

"Hey Thatch, what's this?"

Thatch blinks, then inwardly curses.

Luffy's holding Izo's crumpled piece of paper. His control of his power's still shoddy, and it must have accidentally spat it back out in the commotion.

Please, don't be able to read that, he prays. He luckily doesn't have much confidence in Luffy's reading abilities.

"It says 'what are her three sizes.' What are those?"

In the background, Koala slowly raises her fist.

~~

A few days later, Marco's scouting when a blue gull rapidly approaches him.

Delivery! it squawks. Delivery for you, Boss, and don't show Izo! Don't show Izo! Don't show Izo or the bread man will be mad!

Thank you, noted, friend, Marco responds, and catches the note from Thatch in mid air.

The gull trills acknowledgement, then wheels away to rejoin its brethren, while Marco changes course for the nearest island, a safe forest haven in Pops's territory, still a ways away from the Moby. It's uninhabited, save for the wildlife, and it would be good to land once before returning home anyway.

Marco lands lightly on the tallest and oldest tree on the island, from where he can survey the island of pure greenery, and the endless blue stretching beyond. The branch he's chosen looks deceptively thin, but he already knows it can support his human weight, which is why he shifts, passing the note from his claw to his hand before completing his transformation.

Marco frowns. The other Commanders (and to be honest, the entire crew) have been acting a bit strange recently, but for Thatch, who isn't even on board with them, to also be in on it...

True, this may or may not be related to that at all. But still.

Marco feels like he's missing something.

Marco, Thatch's message starts, and Marco already knows it's going to be serious because it didn't start with a jibe at his appearance.

Marco, I think I'm actually serious about her. Thoughts, brother?

Her, meaning the Ace's little brother, the mermaid girl.

If Marco remembers correctly, in Thatch's first note back to him, he'd written, She's stolen my heart, I think I want to marry her.

Marco had assumed Thatch was joking at the time, or just light-heartedly flirting, as he always did. Marco's used to hearing Thatch spew these kinds of words, and he'd taken it to mean that the girl's exceptionally Thatch's type, but hadn't thought further.

The words had made him remember a little trinket he'd had stored in a chest at the back of his closet, one he'd received from an elderly couple on Fishman Island around two decades ago...

But that's not important now, Marco thinks, focussing on Thatch's message.

In all his years of flings and casual relationships and jokingly asking ladies (and some gents) Won't you marry me...Thatch has not once asked for Marco's opinion. He's certainly had plenty of opinions himself about whether someone would be a potential good match for Marco, which Marco always ignored. But Thatch has never asked Marco about matches for himself.

Thatch really is serious.

Marco finds himself slowly smiling. "Finally, you sap," he murmurs, though no one hears him but the other birds in the trees around him.

He knows he ought to think more about what to say, but the answer is so obvious that Marco takes Thatch's note, and carefully tears the paper so that his brother's words aren't damaged. Gently tucking Thatch's note into his pocket, Marco pulls out a pen for the remaining small blank strip of paper.

Shortly afterwards, two birds depart from the island, in opposite directions: one, a phoenix, wings burning cyan against the clear skies, and the other, a blue gull headed to Paradise.

~~

~~

~~

Part 9, things start Moving as Sabo confronts Ace.

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! And again, please do let me know if you actually like reading the story here on tumblr or not >.<;

As always, any comments are immensely appreciated and help motivate me to create more for this AU! ;A;

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

~This ask has been added to the Mermaid AU Text Headcanons Compilation post~

[winryofresembool]

Matilda’s story

Summary: Emma Rockbell-Elric’s (aka Ed&Winry’s daughter) girlfriend Matilda writes about different periods of her life, from accepting her sexuality to meeting and getting together with Emma.

A/N: Don’t worry guys, Edwin is on its way too! But I thought it would be fun to introduce you guys to one of my OC ships, aka Emilda :’) I imagine Matilda is writing this story to people who are in a lot of self doubt (about their sexuality etc), to make them feel better about their situation. 

Words: 1950ish

Warnings: some adult themes mentioned, nothing explicit

...

Matilda’s POV:

This is going to be a very personal story, but maybe sharing it will help someone reading it.

When I was a kid, I always preferred stories that had cool girl protagonists instead of boys. Blegh. They were just annoying. My favorite bands were girl bands and my favorite movie stars were also women. It hadn’t even occurred to me that some girls could like /boy bands/. Well, I was a kid, so it didn’t matter what I liked and what not. Our tastes were still developing, after all.  

When I was 11, a girl friend of mine kissed me on the cheek, probably as a thank you for something I had done. I couldn’t forget about it for a week, and I didn’t understand why. Now I know better: the little Matilda had her first crush. But that wasn’t an option to the 11-year-old me. When I told my mum I thought a friend of mine looked cute, in an innocent way, she told me to be quiet and made me play with a neighbor’s son. I didn’t like that kid at all, by the way. He was constantly pulling my hair and claimed I looked like a “lesbeean” in my pink clothes. I had no idea what that word meant. That was the way I had been raised.

I grew older and the friends around me started getting boyfriends. My mum was constantly asking if I had one too. I felt there was something wrong with me because I didn’t want one! After she had asked me that same old question many times enough, I finally gave up and asked a male friend of mine if we could go on a date. He said yes, and all of a sudden I had my first boyfriend. He was actually fairly nice, and we did like the same kind of movies, so picking a date spot was pretty easy. But it didn’t take him long to say he knew I didn’t like him that way. He was right, though, and so I experienced my first “break up”. 

After a while, I started feeling the pressure of getting another boyfriend. The same thing happened as with the previous guy; we broke up due to the lack of chemistry.

Life went on, but the dating life started getting more challenging: I was already 18 and the people around me had a sex life. I had such a hard time imagining me doing it, and I even thought at one point I might have been an ace. Then I met a guy I genuinely liked and decided: “heck it. It’s not a big deal, so let’s just get it done.” And so we did. And it was absolutely awful. I blamed the fact that it was my first time, because of course I had heard that it’s supposed to hurt and all that stuff. But in reality, it was more than that. I felt extremely uncomfortable, awkward, vulnerable, even scared. I felt like I shouldn’t have been there, I just wanted to leave as soon as it started!

Well, it’s safe to say it didn’t happen with that guy again. He was surprisingly understanding when I tried to explain my feelings, though, and he too suggested I might be a-sexual. I just admitted: yeah, it’s possible. However, I had started doubting that because one time, when I went to get a casual cup of coffee with this same ex boyfriend of mine, I noticed that our heads were turning in the same direction when a good looking woman passed us. I had tried to deny it, but it was getting harder: I was attracted to women.

The time at the university was a new beginning to me. I met a lot of people. New, more open minded people. I finally learned to accept that women loving women really was a thing, and it opened a new world to me. I let myself have crushes, and sometimes when things got “wild”, I might even have kissed another woman. My mother’s conservative voice was nagging in my head regularly, but I learned to tune it down.

But there was one specific encounter that I will never forget. In my first architecture class I saw a pretty, blonde haired and blue eyed girl. She seemed shy at first, dressed in black, avoiding eye contact, trying to make her already small frame even smaller. But then the professor started asking questions and suddenly she woke up, a fire in her eyes when she started debating with the professor on some topic that was so advanced I didn’t even understand it. And I had always thought I knew plenty about architecture. The debate had to end at some point so the professor could go back to her regularly scheduled teaching, but the girl stayed in the classroom afterwards and continued the conversation. I was both impressed and intimidated by her.

It turned out, that was definitely not the last time I saw that girl. Not too long after, I was put into the same group with her when we were doing group assignments and – we got into a fight. As I had suspected from the moment I saw her, our ideas of architecture in general were so different that we had a very hard time finding a common ground. She thought alchemy could make everything 100% easier, I claimed it was hocus pocus. Our fight got so bad that at the end of one group session she told me she would talk to the professor the next day and ask to join another group.

She never got that far though; that same night my cat went missing and I was searching for him from the campus area for a long while. Finally, I found him in a tree, but he didn’t want to come down. I tried treats, I tried toys, but no luck. I was too afraid to climb after him because I was sure the branches would have broken under my weight. Suddenly, the blonde girl appeared and asked me what was wrong. I showed her the cat on the tree and without hesitation she started climbing like a ninja. At that point I was wondering if there was anything that girl couldn’t do. She caught my kitty and brought him down to me, acting like a whole different person compared to a couple of hours earlier. I asked why she was like that, and she simply said “what happens in the classroom, stays in the classroom”.

I decided to invite this weird girl for a cup of tea as a thank you for saving my cat and because I felt there was so much about her I didn’t know yet. She had made me so curious. We had a lot of fun talking about anything non school related, and she didn’t leave for several hours. I introduced her to my cats, and she showed pics of her dog. When she was finally leaving, she tugged my hair a bit, looked straight into my eyes, and said “you’re not so bad, after all, Kitty.” Someone else might have gotten offended, but I saw her expression, and knew it was her way of saying “we are friends now, like it or not.” Oh, and she didn’t change her group after all.

It would be nice to say my relationship issues were over once I started uni, but that’s not true. I wasn’t really seeing anyone for a long while, while my friendship with Emma deepened, starting some rumors among the people around me. Eventually, my mum heard I may be seeing a girl from the uni and she called me home for a talk. I took Emma with me, or rather, she insisted she come. With her support, I told her that yes, I may be into girls, but no, we are not dating. My mother wasn’t happy with that announcement, telling me I was not welcome back home unless I “changed my mind about women”. Emma dragged me into her car, but she herself went back to tell a couple of well-chosen words to my mother, and when she came back, she was having a devilish smile on her face. She claimed that habit was simply in her Elric blood, which I soon realized was true when she introduced me to her family. They were incredible people, so different from my family. Getting distance between me and my parents was not an easy decision, but it’s one I now understand was necessary for my happiness.

A couple of years later, another incident happened: I was on the swimming team and one day decided to train with Emma, who, while not as fast as I am, made up for it with her stamina. Unfortunately, some guys from the men’s team were at the hall at the same time with us, and one of them started hitting on me. I had a hard time getting rid of him because he kept insisting I should go out with him, even blocking my way at one point. It started getting quite scary, so Emma, bless her, came to my rescue. She wrapped her arm around my waist and planted a kiss on my cheek, claiming I was her girlfriend, and if the guys wanted to have something to do with me, she’d be ready to fight. I have no doubt she would. I have heard stories of her dad’s past…

Anyway, one of the assholes said he wanted more proof so Emma didn’t hesitate. She kissed me straight on the mouth and I kept seeing stars for a minute. Once the stars were gone, I noticed we were already in the shower room (apparently Emma had dragged me there) and she apologized for acting like that. I think my answer was just incoherent blabbering, because honestly, I was just wishing she would do it again. Because in that moment I knew I was in love with Emma Rockbell-Elric.

A few years went by and I was in a constant state of suffering because I could not tell her how I felt. I had seen Emma flirting with a lot of other people, both girls and boys, so I was positive the kiss had not meant anything, and I couldn’t risk our friendship. But eventually, we decided to go on a trip, just the two of us, and little did we know that trip would change everything. It all started innocently. We were supposed to just go down to the hotel bar for a couple of drinks and maybe dance a bit, but… something turned off in my brain. Before I knew it, we were kissing, and back in our room, and… it was the best evening of my life. But then… then she broke my heart.

Now, Emma, if you’re reading this, don’t worry. I know why you did what you did, and you’ve been forgiven a long time ago. Maybe I just added that here to remind people that relationships require work, because no one is perfect, but we did solve our issues, and everything’s better than fine now. We are now living together and having our own kids, aka our pets. Thanks to my girlfriend, I’ve learned to accept myself the way I am, and I have also found myself a new supportive family who really cares about me, and is there for me when I need it. So, my message to people in need of help is: it will get better. Just be who you are, because you’re amazing. That’s what Emma tells me.

Ps. to my dog loving alchemy freak girlfriend: I love you. 

[namjoonbby1]

Benefits

Hi guys, so part one of this story has been sitting in my drafts for forever and so I finally decided to edit the first part and upload it. It is your typical friends with benefits story but with a little twist (; Hope you enjoy it!

Pairing - Namjoon x Reader

Genre - Mostly smut but everything really

Word Count - 2500

Synopsis - What starts out as a fling turns into something more

Preview

Masterlist

I was devastated. I thought that maybe I was hearing things. That my fiance wasn’t cheating on me. Even as I slowly opened the door and walked in on them I thought that I was hallucinating. There is no way he was screwing my best friend, in my bed.

Once the reality set in I was crushed. It was all making sense now, the late night texts, the unanswered calls. I should’ve known that he was cheating on me. But I didn’t know, I was in love and completely oblivious to the liar that I had called mine. The man that had broken my heart into a million tiny pieces. I picked up those pieces, slowly but surely and once I did I made a promise to myself. I vowed that I’d never fall in love again.

So since that day over a year and a half ago, I’ve been single. And I honestly enjoy the single life. I don’t have to answer to anyone, I can do what I want. I don’t have to worry about anyone’s needs or feelings, only mine. But let’s be honest a girl has her needs and her vibrator alone can’t fulfill those. My friends suggested that I have a fling with some random guy at some random bar, but I couldn’t. How could I trust some random guy to not spill to the public about our fling? I mean as much as the paparazzi would be willing to pay for proof of my newest scandals, I’m sure anyone would air out my dirty little secrets.

Which is why, I was now finishing my look off with some cherry red lipstick and slipping on my black stilettos getting ready to head out the door. My driver opened the car door for me and I got in the car. The entire way there I couldn’t stop thinking about the person who was waiting for me at the restaurant.

See it all started last week when my manager came to me with a proposition. He hated me getting into scandals even more than I did and he happened to be close friends with a manager of another record label. Apparently he had been conversing with that friend and he shared with him my ‘needs’. At first I was embarrassed and upset that he felt the need to talk about something so private with his friend, until he told me about him. About the boy who was having the same problem as me. He wanted to get laid, but he didn’t want a relationship either. Although I felt like our parents were setting us up on blind date or something I still agreed to meet him. Because it was Kim Namjoon.

Namjoon was the guy that I would be meeting in a short while and I wasn’t going to lie, I was nervous. Not nervous to meet him, or anything like that. But nervous about planning and having sex with a stranger. A stranger that I knew absolutely nothing about besides the fact that he was extremely handsome, and apparently as sexual frustrated as I was. Yes I had seen him at events and had even shared brief conversations with him but this was on a totally different level. We engaged in small talk about his new album, or the weather. And tonight, well tonight we would be talking about sex, with one another.

I showed up to the restaurant getting out of the car and entering as the flashing lights of the paparazzi caught pictures of me. As I entered I found my way to the room that our managers had reserved for Namjoon and I. Composing myself and taking a deep breath I slowly turned the handle of the door entering the room. Namjoon didn’t hear me as I entered. I watched as he lifts up the glass and took a drink of the liquid watching his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. Fuck did I mention he was handsome.

He finally saw me out of his peripheral vision as I walked nearer to him he sat down his cup standing up to greet me. “Hello it’s nice to see you again y/n.” He stated extending his hand for me to shake. He examined my entire body and my cheeks heated up.

“Yes, I’m glad we can finally meet again” I replied and he gestured for me to take a seat at the table.

“The feelings mutual. I ordered you a drink, I hope you like martinis.” He said pointing to the drink in front of me.

I smiled answering him by taking a sip of the drink he had ordered. As much as I loved the drink I felt like I needed something a little stronger to calm my nerves so i signaled for the waitress who approached me. “May I have a shot of patron please.” I asked.

“Make that two.” Namjoon said smirking of me.

Namjoon’s POV.

Namjoon felt like he was boring holes into y/n’s body but he couldn’t help himself. She was so goddamn sexy, and the tight dress that hugged her curves just perfectly was not helping the growing ache between his legs.

“So.” Namjoon started as he watched her take back a shot of patron like a pro, not even flinching. He followed suit taking a drink as well and then signalling the waitress to keep the shots coming.

“So..” She replied back sending him a flirtatious grin.

“We both know why we are here, how do you wanna go about this?” He asked

“Well I’ve been thinking a lot about this arrangement. I’ve prepared a couple of things.” She said sliding a couple of sheets of paper across the table. Y/n watched as Namjoon examined the documents in front of him.

“What is this, a contract?” He said examining the document.

“Yes the first two pages are a contract. It basically states that our agreement will be keep between the two of us.”

“Of course, I agree to that.” He said reaching for a pen to sign it.

“The last section states that we are under no circumstances allowed to fall in love with one another."She added causing him to look up at her and let out a hearty laugh.

"Wow y/n you are quite the character. Did my manager not explain to you clearly why I am here? I want to fuck. I’m not looking for any type of relationship, you do not have to worry about that at all.”

“Great we are on the same page then. So if you just sign it we can proceed with the next document.” Namjoon just laughed and signed on the line at the bottom of the second page.

“So what are you going to do if I fall in love, sue me?” He laughed. Y/n returned the laugh and then directed him to the last page.

“This next page is basically a way of making sure we are comfortable with one another. You can write down all of your sexual preferences and I’ll right down mine. This way we can be completely sure that we are both satisfied with this transaction.”

“Wow so I can write down everything I would like to do to you?” He asked. Namjoon was already forming a list in his head of what he wanted. And the way y/n bit her lip only made this list grow longer.

“Yes. and finally the last page, It’s my schedule. You can write down yours so that we can schedule our meetings with one another. We are both very busy people so I think that planning our encounters is the best way to guarantee happiness for the both of us.” She stated.

“Wow you are extremely prepared.” Namjoon stated. “So when do we get to the fun part?” He asked. He couldn’t wait any longer.

“That, starts tomorrow. Meet me at my place tomorrow night? We can go over the the documents and maybe even have a little fun.” She said taking her last shot of patron before standing up and approaching Namjoon.

“See you tomorrow.” See said as she kissed he check softly. Namjoon couldn’t wait until tomorrow.

Y/n’ POV

Friday couldn’t come quick enough. I had text Namjoon my address and I was currently standing in my closet trying to decide which style of clothing to go with. Keep it sexy with a form fitting red dress or casual with jeans and a nice sweater? I opted for the dress finishing off my look with a cherry red lipstick.

I brought two glasses of wine and the papers expressing my preferences into my living room. I sat down on the sofa taking a sip of the wine and my phone started to ring. I smiled assuming it was Namjoon but my smiled faded when I realized it was just my manager.

“Hello?”

“Y/n can you meet me in three hours? K Magazine wants to interview you.”

“Why so last minute… I kind of have plans with Namjoon.”

“For someone who was so upset that I shared her personal information with someone you sure made plans quickly.”

“Still upset, but come on how could I say no to Namjoon.”

“See as your manager I always have your best interest at heart. Anyways you’ll have to reschedule. I’d need you to do the interview.”

“Fine, I’ll see you in three hours.”

I groaned as I ended the call, I was really looking forward to seeing Namjoon. All I could think about was lips, how thick and sexy they were and how I desire nothing more than to kiss him. And his hair, God how did this man have such perfect hair. I want to intertwine my fingers through his golden locks while he -

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on my apartment door, shit he was here already. I quickly jogged over to the door taking a deep breath before slowly opening the door. As Namjoon saw me he had a devilishly smirk on his face examining my body as I examined his. He was wearing a black blazer and slacks with a dark gray shirt on underneath. And his hair was pushed back, did I mention how much I loved his hair.

“Hey.” I smiled opening the door wider to give him room to walk in.

He walked in turning around to face me as he spoke. “You look really good.”

“Thanks you too, did you just come from somewhere?” I asked.

“Yes we actually had a radio interview earlier.” He said causing me to remember that I had an obligation soon. 

"I actually have an interview in a couple of hours” I confessed.

“Ah, I see. I was really looking forward to the fun you mentioned last night.” Namjoon replied back in a disappointed tone.

If only he knew how bad I wanted him.  "Well um, we can still go over our schedules and our preferences so that next time we wont have to waste anytime.“

"That sounds fine.” Namjoon said walking over to the sofa and sitting down.“

"Make yourself comfortable.” I teased sitting down near him and crossing my legs because my dress may have been a bit too short.

We first compared our scheduled, I thought I was an extremely busy person but looking at Namjoon’s was crazy. He spent over 10 hours a day practicing choreography. The other days he had studio time, talk show appearances, and so much more it was crazy.

Sunday night, Wednesday morning. Those are the only two times we will have to see each other. We agreed upon that and moved forward to the thing I was most excited for. The sexual preferences page.

“How do you wanna do this? We just read off our kinks to one another?” He asked.

I chuckled lightly at how blunt he was being.

“How about you give me yours, I’ll read it and then I’ll give you mine.”

“Deal” Namjoon said with a smirk on his face while handing me his paper.

Excitement bubbled forth within me as I took the sheet of paper and began to examine it. The first thing I saw on it was 'face sitting’ and my body reacted immediately.

Amongst the oral sex, I saw that his favorite position was doggy and he liked being dominate.

“Orgasm denial? For me or for you?” I asked shyly.

“Definitely you, you will never deny my orgasm.” He stated plainly. I had to bite my lip to stop the moan from escaping.

“You like dirty talk. What kind of dirty talk?” He asked.

“I guess mostly derogatory names, like 'slut’, 'bitch’ 'whore’. Stuff like that.” I said watching Namjoon’s demeanor change completely.

Namjoon cleared his throat before speaking again. “So would you be turned off it I call you babygirl?” He asked.

“No, of course not. I like that a lot too. Just don’t call me princess. I hate that word the most.”

“Why not? Dont most girls like that?”

“I guess but not me. I’m definitely not a princess.”

“So you’re a slut, a whore and a bitch?” Namjoon teased.

“In the bedroom, yes I can definitely be all of the above. But I guess you’ll have to make that judgement on your own.”

“And you put down voyeurism. You want to get yourself off while I watch?”

“Yes.” I stated maybe way too eagerly. The growing desire in between my legs was way too much and crossing my legs was not enough anymore. So I decided not to cross them.

Namjoon moved closer to me on the sofa placing one hand dangerously high on my thigh. I looked up at him and he was looking down at me through hooded eyes.

“I have a feeling that you and I are going to have a lot of fun.” He said and our faces were nearly inches away from one another.

[astralectric]

This post will be an anxiety dump about dating and sex and sexuality.

As I've said before, I did decide that I want to try dating this year. The problem is that I have no experience in going out and searching for what I want. In the past my few romantic/sexual encounters have been because the other person persued me. Surprisingly that resulted in a pretty even split between girls and guys, but I'm discovering now that unless I use a dating app (which I hate) it's 200% easier to find a potential boyfriend just because most of my social circle outside of art stuff is made up of straight people and my art circle revolves around gay men but not??? wlw???????

And maybe finding girls to date would be easier if I didn't have such a damn inferiority complex surrounding bisexuality. It's so much easier to avoid the topic with guys, I usually don't even come out to guys because (although I know it's taboo to say on tumblr) I don't feel like it's relevant once I'm with someone. Wlw will want to know though, but I've been rebuffed and dismissed nearly every time I've said "I'm bisexual" irl so I haaaaaaate saying it. This is a reaction I need to get over, but for me its one straw on the camel's back.

Another is that i don't have a clear idea of what I want. All my strongest feelings are so confused by my trauma-based reactions to emotional and sexual intimacy. Like I implied I've had short lived quasi relationships before, but I could never get intimate (even cuddling) without getting high or drunk first and that's obviously not something I can rely on. My sense of interest and affection is entangled with disgust and fear. "Casually dating" to get a feel for it is not a thing for me. Anybody I'm with will have to know from the start that I have weird and sometimes confusing or even upsetting reactions to basic things.

When I feel like the task of dating is too daunting, I fall back to thinking about a girl who I used to work with when I was a 20ish. We flirted, a lot. She was the reason I came out to my close friends for the first time. But we didn't date. Why didn't we? I pulled away at all the key moments, she was too young and soft hearted to think of pushing. A few years after that when I was in town we hooked up. Or tried to. That was the first time I realized that I have Bad reactions to sex, but because of other reasons I continued to passively seek it out anyways. She didn't really know what was going on and I didn't tell her, she just rolled with it.

She texted me a year later saying that she would marry me if given the chance. I didn't know what to think, but I didn't think she really meant it. I thought that she thought she meant it, but she couldn't have understood what she was saying, could she? But this summer I was in California, where she lives now (all the way across the country) and we met up for one evening with her friends. She mentioned that she had broken up with her boyfriend months ago and strongly implied that she wanted to date. If I lived there i would have gone for it, I hope. But I live across the country, and I have to finish school, and I can't do long distance. Long distance would not at all help me get a handle on my issues.

But I think about her like she's a fantasy, and she mostly is. At this point we hardly know more about each other than what we can see on Instagram. But there's a tension, like no matter how far and long apart we are we are bound to happen eventually. Maybe it's just dragged on too long and I just need to get her out of my system. I need something real. A person I can make myself touch even when I'm afraid to.

I guess my fears are stronger than I thought if im having a reaction to just typing this. I don't cry (often) but I get this internal downward draining that starts behind my eyes and pulls all my feelings with it. It feels good the same way crying does. And I feel so stupid because I haven't even done anything but think about this yet. I don't see any opportunities to act without using dating apps. I dont exactly have a huge social circle. I'm also very picky, but sometimes, once in a blue moon, I crush hard on someone. Should I hold out for that instead of wasting my time with people I only hope I'm interested in? It could be years until the next one comes along.

Note to future self: don't delete this even if you feel embarrassed reading it over. It will be a good self reference the way your journals used to be.