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youremyonlyhope · 3 years

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Starship Rewatch

10 years ago today (well, yesterday since I’m posting it a day later), 15 year old Hope curled up on her couch to watch a new StarKid show called Starship right as it dropped. This was the first time I got to watch a show when it was posted since I didn’t become a StarKid fan until a months earlier. I was so excited.

And now, I’m rewatching Starship for the first time in full in at least 5 years I think. I listened to the soundtrack twice earlier today, singing along at my desk at work (thank god no one else was here tonight to judge me). I still know so many of the lyrics. And so many little jokes and stuff were flooding back. Starship was my favorite StarKid show for a long time, so I’m so excited to watch this again to see if it’s still my fave.

This post ended up being really long, so you’ve been warned. But it also includes pictures of the crocheted Roach and Bugette plushies that I made as a teen.

OH. THE OLD LOGO. AHHH. I already have so many feels. The future is now! I can’t handle this. The nostalgia! The Galactic League of Extraterrestrial Exploration. My facebook account to this day says I am a Starship Ranger at the G.L.E.E. because I’ve never bothered to change it. Also, shoutout to anyone from the StarKidPotter FB and EFST days if you’re reading this. AHHH IT’S CHRIS AND ERIC. Ok I might have to pause 20 thousand times during this Starship Ranger ad to acknowledge all the StarKid cameos. Tyler! “We come to conquer... in peace!” Tyler I love you. Brian and Richard! I forgot they painted Richard BLUE. Britney and Ariel! Nicholas Joseph Stauss-Matathia! I see that StarKid’s website has shortened his name to just Nicholas Strauss but remember the days when we’d purposefully say his full name? Anyway, I literally just screamed “NICK” when I saw him because he was always one of my faves. The Old Snatch was and still is iconic. Devin and Lily! The Wizard God himself, AJ Holmes. God... remember those AJ Holmes appreciation days where we’d make Chuck Norris-like memes about AJ? So much is rushing back from the depths of my mind oh my god... It’s been so long yet it feels like yesterday... “Someone really *static* F- *static* -ucked up big time” Love it.

2 minutes and 22 seconds in. I’ve written so much. I had to pause before Joey started singing to take a moment. I love this show so much. I love these goofballs so much. And they’re all so young. Most of them are younger than I am now. This is insane.

Ok I have to promise myself not to pause as much now. *Spoiler, I failed*

“I’ll fight off this gamma radiation if it’s the last thing I ever do!... We’re going down! This is the last thing I’ll ever do!” Oh my god. Look at baby Joey. He hasn’t even graduated from college yet. And that Bug puppet! Someone remind me to dig up the pictures of my crocheted plushies of Starship puppets since I made Roach and Bugette and gave them to the StarKids at SPACE and Apocalyptour. (I also did Rumbleroar, but the bugs were my own pattern I made so I was more proud) The camera is focused in on Bug instead of Joey’s face. I love it. So much. Brannnttttttt. My god. Am I gonna freak out over every single entrance? Roach pretending to die, he’s the best friend ever. “The needs of the many bugs outweigh the needs of the few bugs.” “Or the one bug, I know.” Oh man, when that line comes back... “Dirt eater” “Exoskeleton polisher” “I wanna build honeycombs” “The bug that ruins your picnic” “A fly on the wall!” That line came back to me earlier today and I died. Remembering that line was like 50% of the reason I listened to the soundtrack today.

Nick Lang! Julia! LAUREN LOPEZ. THERE SHE IS. Lovebugs, I can’t. *Sentimental music* “You could come over to my nest and I could... tear off your head and let my larva devour your body?” How did I forget that line? The way Lauren has to kick Bugette’s larva sack to walk. But the way that it also works so well with the character. I can’t. The Mosquito Brothers!! I forgot they show up so early. “This is our sister, Sweetheart” “...YO.” I CANNOT HANDLE JIM POVOLO. The “zzzz”s like buzzing as backing vocals instead of the usual “ahs” and “oohs.” The things you don’t appreciate until years later. Darren, you genius. That is such a good detail. For a second I couldn’t remember who the Overqueen is played by. 99% sure it’s Jim (It is). Also. Overqueen like ovary... and it looks like a giant vagina. That had to be pointed out to me later. “FLATTERY WILL GET YOU... everywhere.” Why did I forget that line too? “I’m a starship ranger” “Quiet you, you’re drunk” “No I’m drunk!” I remembered that line probably like... 2 minutes earlier when I noticed Joe huddling in the background and realized that line was coming up. The way Joey lets go of the puppet so both he and the puppet walk away with their arms limp... so cute.

Before even pressing play on part 3, I can hear February saying “Let the record show I am super ahead of schedule.” and I’m dying. I forgot about Brian as the escape pod. Denise Donovan! That Star Trek prop. I’m dumb so I can’t remember if it’s a communicator or what. But I know my Uhura Barbie had a mini one that I lost within a month probably. “OxyGen” “Schience” I can’t. “Mission Log... I think I just heard a spooky noise.” How am I forgetting all of these amazing lines? “Pika-pi!” AHHH I JUST SCREAMED. “My stars, I seemed to have landed in a field of these aMiNals!” I can’t. “Can I tell you guys something?” *port de bras and falls gently to the ground* “Hello!” “TOTORO!” I’m dead. The balloon mechanism on the mosquitos! I forgot about that! “HOLY SHIT IT’S A BUUUUGGGGG” Ok something I noticed but didn’t mention earlier. The bug puppet that Joe uses when he says “I had my heart set on nourishment” is the same one red and pink one that Julia used when talking about wanting to be nourishment. When Julia actually gets eaten, she’s using a different bug puppet, the green and pink one, but the same character voice. So, I can’t tell if they intentionally had her play 2 bugs so Joe could be one of them later, or if it was a mistake. I might also just be overthinking things. “ME THINKS IT WENT THAT-A-WAY” I cannot handle Jim Povolo. That scream Joe does as he slimes her. Woah I originally wrote “There seems to be no signs of intelligent lifeforms anywhere” earlier and then deleted it since I don’t know why I found it remarkable. And then looking at the comments of this part I see someone mentioned a Toy Story reference. So that’s why that line stuck out to me. Aww StarKid. There are so many Disney references in this show.

THERE SHE IS. THERE’S MY GIRL TAZ. The pew pew effects how could I forget that! “Hey Taz. You’re pretty tough for a chick.” “I was just going to say the same thing about you.” “Woahhhhhhhh” JoMo oh my god. “My spectrometer readings are off the wazooooooo” That line kills me. Why am I JUST NOW noticing, 10 years later, that Tootsie enters this scene with his gun facing the wrong way. Oh my god. “I saw the empirical proof that science killed god. It’s comforting to know he was once alive though. I like to think that when he died, he went to heaven.” Oh Tootsie Noodles. “...What the hell kind of name is that?” “He’s got bear hands??” Why do I forget all of these lines??!? That record scratch and freeze frame to go “BOOOOOO” oh my god I forgot that. “Like the other day, he was in the cafeteria, just cah-rying in front of everybody.” BOOOOOOO. Here we go, Taz’s amazing Up monologue. “And when Up, cuts an onion, the ONION is the one who cry.” HELP. Also 99% sure I used that joke for AJ appreciation at least one year. “Now take a walk off my knife” What a line. So awesome. I remember having a profile pic on FB that was the text of that monologue and the image of Lauren screaming “WALK IT OFF” I’m still convinced that first “WOO” from the audience that we hear when Up enters is Darren. “I do not peepee sitting down” “Huh??” JoMo’s face as if he’s trying his hardest not to laugh and I can’t tell if that’s him breaking character or if Krayonder is actually trying not to laugh. “I peepee like big boy, deadgoddamnit. So stop making fun of me because it hurts my feelings” I’m dying. Also, deadgoddamnit is amazing. “if you don’t go out there and die for something, then I will kill you for nothing.” I remembered the mirror scene, just seconds before it started and already started laughing. “You’re not a failure, overall.” “Allow me to introduce you to the final member of your team. MegaGirl!” I forgot how DRAMATIC that was. I also forgot that’s how MegaGirl comes into the story.

I need to stop pausing every 5 seconds oh my god I’ll never finish this tonight if I don’t.

“All hail AstroBoy” That was the funniest line. “MegaGirl, can you kill humans?” “No. But I’d like to.” I can’t handle it. “A horse ate my cousin! Me and horses got a feud.” #1 MegaGirl doing the “I’m watching you” hand sign. I can’t. “Hey. Miráme. *Slaps* NOW ESCHUCHAME” amazing. “Or that time. You taught me calculus... CALCULUS WAS TOUGH.” I never went past pre-calc. Nope. Ah. Get Back Up. One of my fave songs. “And now we dance.” Dylan’s “OW” as they lean back. “Ok Idiotas. Say something nice. Or I will kill you.” It’s all so iconic.

“So you still think being an egg planter is lame?” “...Yes.” The larva oh my god. I forgot we see one before the end. That’s Jaime playing the larva I think. Life is definitely one of my all-time favorite StarKid songs to this day. I wish it was longer. I love it so much. And I love that its instrumental is scattered as a motif throughout the show. “It’s a short, small thing we lead. With so much potential, pointless or essential, which one can I be?” Wow. Near Pippin levels of giving me an existential crisis. Also wow Joey improved his singing so much between AVPS and Starship. “My name’s Bug” “*Gasp!* Like a bug??” “Uh... no.” “Good. I’m February, like the month, but a person.” I should start saying that honestly. “I’m Hope, like the concept, but a person.” “You boldly go where every man -hey- woman -bark woof- or data dog has ever gone before! Sorry K9DX” Adorable. Joey’s subtle little double nod he makes the Bug puppet do when he’s shocked she thinks he’s a Starship Ranger. Amazing. Ah he said goddamn not deadgoddamn! February should have known right then he wasn’t human! “Take my claw” that too. "The only thing that needs to rest are your jokes, because they are so tired.” “Woahhhhhh” No but like... why don’t I use that line in everyday life... “Now I am slightly less weak.” “Ok. I’m going to shoot this metal bitch!” I’m dying. How did I forget the Taz/MegaGirl rivalry?? “That thing is a R-O-B-O-T man” “Can’t fool me with numbers, Krayonder.” I’m dead. “The stack of hay was my cousin!” #2 The way Meredith says “barometric pressure” is great. And Tootsie saying “Well you must take real good care of it, because I never would have guessed.” He’s such a sweetheart. “Nobody shoot dammit, nobody shoot.” “KILL KILL KILL” I never really liked Hideous Creatures but it’s so cute to see MegaGirl do the choreo robotically. I love that the Gap hasn’t changed. “Cool it skank, you do not know me.” Another line that I forgot until a split second before it was said. I’m so glad whoever edited this added some pews going in the wrong way for Tootsie’s gun. I know I definitely noticed Tootsie’s gun was backwards during this part, but I don’t know if I noticed it was backwards in that very first scene too. I forgot about MegaGirl tossing out Specs. That “MEGAGIRL!!!” scream from Joe though.

“Never in my 6 long days of life.” Underappreciated joke. Also, I think this is the 4th unique upright bug puppet. We got red/pink, green/blue, green/pink, and now red/blue. Also, Nick Lang is a great puppeteer. “Yes, I helped her escape. But I swear, never in a million years, did I think I’d be caught and yelled at for it!” Oh I forgot Bugette is the witness. Jaime’s angry face behind Joey is killing me. “He didn’t know the humans were evil.” “Oh, they’re not.” “Shut up!” Humoons and hoomans. “And no more singing or dancing” *gasps of horror* “The Overqueen has overspoken.” “Well, that’s not gonna help your chances with Bugette” Oh Roach. “PERHAPS.” Jim destroys me.

God the 4-person Pincer puppet. Amazing. Dylan’s arms being strong enough to be above his head for 10 minutes straight. Amazing. Also, Nick Lang is so emotive as a claw. It took me a sec but yeah JoMo is the tail. “There were? Where are they?” Joey’s face. “Tell me all about her” The claws under the chin I can’t. Hey StarKid, I see you throwing in an ad mid-video before Kick It Up a Notch. You’re lucky I love and support you guys. “Put ‘em together and what have you got?” bibbity boppity boo. More Disney references! This scene is full of them. Man, remember when we were all blown away by Dylan’s voice in this song the first time? Like we could tell he could sing in AVPM/S, but his songs were just so jokey and only his long “Welcooooooooooome” showed us his talent. But then Kick It Up a Notch happened. And we FINALLY appreciated Dylan’s beautiful voice. “I pushed it to the limit.” and “To coin a phrase, be a man.” more Disney. I might be overthinking this and will have to rewatch Life to confirm, but I think the camera zooming out as Pincer reprises Life is just like the camerawork when Bug sang it originally. If so, then wow even when filming their shows StarKid really thinks it all through. (Update: It totally is referencing the original zooms for Life and that’s amazing. Except it’s zooming out instead of in. I LOVE the attention to detail even in filming the show. I’m gonna guess that’s Liam’s doing.) All I can see when I hear Bug’s chorus of this song is Jaime and her SPACE tour dancing, which they incorporated in Apocalyptour as actual choreography. Because they’re goofballs. The kick line. Love it. God. Even though it’s not my favorite song from Starship (just because I love Life and Beauty more), Kick It Up A Notch is one of the best StarKid has ever done. I really has everything. Dylan’s gorgeous voice. Not one but two reprises of earlier songs to throw Bug’s own words back at him. Jim’s bass line. Awesome puppets. Disney references. It’s so amazing. I love how all the comments are either about Dylan’s voice or Dylan’s ability to hold his arms up for a 10+ minute scene or both.

"Gameover man, gameover!” “I feel like cutting open your belly, and filling it with jelly” *Gasps* Oh my god, I put on the captions for a second, and the caption said *Sad spayed puppy noises* “I am in charge of this mission now.” How did I forget about the mustache until 2 seconds before it happened? “She’s got the mustache now. *Kisses head* I love you” Oh my god Tootsie. I FORGOT ABOUT THE SECOND STACHE. There’s an ad right when we see Bug’s human form and I can’t even care because look at him! Ahhh. And the blue headband! Ahhhhh. Joey you’re so adorableeeee. “Bug? Well that’s a fine name.” His concerned face then the relief. Adorable. “Thank you sir. I am a tough bitch.” “Getting nothing but bug muff?!?” I love the slight delay the audience has before laughing as they realize what was just said. “Bug. You hard, ese. You flame.” I die. “Up there. In Space!” *dramatic pointing* No I totally didn’t just do the dramatic pointing with them... no that’s not in my muscle memory from 10 years ago... why would you think that. I’ll rave about Status Quo after it’s done. “But, what if I miss you?” Awwwwwwwww. And that “Just look up.” screenshot was used for “This.” memes in the fandom for years.

Oh Joey. Status Quo is such a good song too. And he really did improve as a singer to sing it. Earlier this week I remembered that this week is also the 10th anniversary of that time Darren was hopping from city to city every single day to promote the Warblers album. And at one point in that week he did a livestream that I remember rushing home to watch. In that livestream, I am 99% sure he sang Status Quo as a little sneak preview for Starship being released later that week. (Just checked, yep he sang it in a livestream on April 20 2011) God I love this song. Then the version the boys all sang for SPACE Tour was beyond beautiful too. Ahhh I love this musical.

Ok. It’s almost midnight. I started this 3 hours ago. I’m probably not finishing the show until 2am at the rate that I’m pausing and stopping to comment. But OH WELL.

“Dr. Spaceclaw” wow. “Leaving them behind was of little consequence, but a pleasure.” Oh Megagirl. “You did a very good job today too, son.” “*Gasp* Thanks dad.” That Star Wars fake-out though. Speaking of Star Wars, I really need to rewatch Ani now that I’m actively a Star Wars fan unlike last time when I still wasn’t invested in the movies I just watched them. How did I forget about Jaime playing Junior’s new mom?? ...Does Junior get an alien incubating in his chest... is that foreshadowing... I can’t remember. (This was like... half a foreshadow) This scene is funnier now that Breredith is married. The way Junior says “Phew” I’m dead. I remembered how they restrain MegaGirl once again 2 seconds before it happened oh my god. “We deserve bubbles on our skin.” An iconic line. “Well thank the long dead god you made it, Bug!” The crunching of the handshake, I can’t. Oh someone in the comments pointed out that Bug and February are doing the Tarzan hand thing while Up’s asking Taz to see a movie. Adorable.

Get yourself a man like Tootsie who won’t stand for you talking down about yourself. “Maybe this was all part of God’s plan. He made before he died.” I love the dead god jokes. I remember years ago some kid on facebook was like “The dead god jokes are offensive” and I was like “It’s a sci-fi musical about a bug in a human body but sure worry about god being dead.” but probably in an even more immature answer. I’m just mesmerized by Tootsie and MegaGirl’s verses. God. The first Dylan and Meredith duet. Amazing. And MegaGirl’s confused face is great. “Don’t press that button, or we’ll all be sucked into space.” So... Can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is? Oh shoot... ok wait no I’ll comment on that when we get there. God that is such a cute love song. I wrote barely anything just because I love that song so much. Would love to know where Tootsie’s taking her though.

Oh my god this scene! I forgot about this. How could I forget this. “Well the world always looks a little bit brighter, from on top of a lap.” I had remembered Bug sitting on Up’s lap, but not Specs. This is the part I forgot. Adorable. Ahhhh so cute. The Specs/Krayonder relationship was apparently cut from the filmed version, but was present if you saw it live. These moments are adorable. And I love how this is the second person JoMo’s had to carry in this show since he also carried Denise earlier. “Why if it isn’t Bug, my oldest friend.” and “Don’t say that, my dear.” are adorable. Oh wait. Up sat on Bug’s lap. Not the other way around. Ok. I didn’t remember this scene as well as I thought I did. I’m dying. I didn’t want to write anything during this, but oh my god “That son of a bitch Optimus Prime” I forgot that. I love the audience’s reaction to “The entire right side of my body, it’s a robot” because they all gasp, and then laugh at themselves for gasping. I knew there was something he couldn’t do without crying. I didn’t remember it being “Sir I Wanna Buy These Shoes” Christmas Song. It’s ok Up, I haven’t listened to that song in full in years. I can’t handle it. But Christmas songs in general make me cry too. Oh Up said goddamn instead of deadgoddamn too. Hmm... Aww the mother spider story. “I think the old you was just killing out of hate.” “Oh I was.” I’m dying. Awwww the nose kiss. I definitely remembered that. “Deadgodspeed soldier!” The way Joey misses catching the keys and also Darren’s “Woo!” in the audience again. So great. That 12 minute scene is just adorable and the Up story is so dramatic and hilarious.

Hmm finishing before 2am might be ambitious... “Hahaha. Then I’ll shoot him!” “Taking care of my business down on the planet is that cool with you?” Brian’s delivery of that line has always intrigued me. “How much I care about my MegaGirl unit’s survival is also a percent equivalent to zero” Rude. “You are nothing like my boyfriend, Tootsie Noodles.” “Yes, well - wait WHAAA” This scene is so different now that they’re married. “Ha. Ha. It was cute.” “You’re... a toaster.” *Slaps* Ok 1) I used to use that insult all the time and only half ironically. I was a strange teenager. 2) She just hurt a human... isn’t that against programming, or can she just not kill humans? Evil angry Brolden is something we need more of. I love Brian as a villain. More please. “You stupid goddamn robot” So I guess they say goddamn and deadgoddamnit. I’m overthinking the evolution of language in this universe. Also Brian’s screams while being choked are amazing. I’ve never forgotten those, if anything they’re better now.

AHHHH I REFRESHED AND DELETED ALL OF MY STUFF FOR BEAUTY. Kill me. I’m so mad. Let me try to recreate it but I hate myself. I was saving this draft after every part but OF COURSE I don’t save after my favorite song and then refresh.

Oh poor Meredith. Her white wig doesn’t let her blend in as much when she’s in the hoodies playing a bug. “Oh hey Bugette, we’re just trying to get Bug laid!” That bug had to know about Bugette’s crush though? That’s just cruel. “The ending is killer” ruuuuuuddddddddddeee. I know I had at least one more point, but that’s lost to the ether. Beauty is probably my fave, if not tied with Life. When I was listening to it earlier, I was overcome with emotion because it’s just such a joyful song. These days I cry over happy stuff almost as much as I cry over the sad. And these lines just hit so hard... I love it. I love this song so much and this scene so much. “Bug. She excreted her filth for you. WE DID IT!!!!!!!!” Brant Cox is so good. It really is a shame he’s not in anything else besides AVPSY and the 10th Anniversary with everyone else. “I do accept you for who you really are. A genius.” Well February, you’ll be glad to know that you thought of that, so you’re the genius. Wow. Junior’s 25, Brian was 25, and now I’m 25. This really was perfect timing for the 10th anniversary. Also I do not feel 25. “Suck off!” amazing.

I’M SAVING THIS TIME.

Ok next part. Luckily I was only 1 minute into the next part when I refreshed. Still so mad at myself... “Someone really firetrucked up big time” (Dead)God I love that line. I also used firetruck unironically. Once again, I was a strange teenager and I didn’t like cursing and I still don’t. “This is so weird, I’m so used to the scrambly version.” (It was while writing this line the first time that I refreshed and lost Beauty....) Ok as I watch AJ, it’s hitting me that he almost definitely came to the set during rehearsals and filmed his part since it’s not a green screen like the rest of them. “The hunters have become the hunted, and it’s wabbit season.” “That was a good video, until the end when it got sad.” Thanks Bug. “I think, I just had a think” See February’s smart. “I’m in a weird situation” Love that line. “Bug is a BUG!? I DON’T BELIEVE IT” Oh Junior. Dylan’s insulted face at “I am not... a dumbass.” So I can’t tell if Brian forgets he’s trapped when he moves his arms into a more relaxed position to lean on the column and then puts them back, or if it’s purposefully staged that way. Brian’s acting while he pretends to be shy and embarrassed about his evil plan is amazing and adorable. Brian has a good evil laugh, why don’t we get him as a villain more often? Also I was gonna make some sort of joke about Nick as Pincer’s left claw vs. Robert as Snarl’s left paw, but I’ll leave it be.

I FORGOT ABOUT THAT WEIGHT TAZ WAS LIFTING JUST FLOATING UP TO THE SKY WHEN SHE LETS GO. I just laughed out loud. “Damn that G.L.E.E. They’re always making twisted abominations of everything!!” I cannot handle it. And the wink. Poor Darren but also not poor Darren at all. I was just now WRACKING my mind for who could possibly be playing Pincer’s tail if JoMo was being devoured by mosquitos. It’s Brant. Literally the entire cast is currently onstage. Ok Krayonder’s been getting his blood drained for 3 minutes, why is he alive? OH I FORGOT KRAYONDER GETS UP AND SHOOTS THE BUGS. Ok and he gets chopped by Pincer’s claws too so HOW does he survive? StarKid answer!!! I forgot how dramatic this musical gets when you got both the bugs and MegaGirl coming after the humans. Aww the Vulcan salute from Specs. “I changed my name. To Tootsie... MegaGirl.” I love the reactions of the people in the audience who immediately realize what that means. I hear at least one “oh my god” that sounds like sobbing. Awwwww Tootsie’s “that’s real” speech and “I’d love you if you was the horse that ate my cousin.” (#3) just... get yourself a man like Tootsie MegaGirl. He is perfection. God the downloading love scene is so cute. I can’t handle it.

The Up saving Taz scene is so dramatic. Then Brian and Jim just calmly walk offstage. It kills me. Also why did Jaime just continue to lie there? “I just needed to learn how to kill with my heart.” Not exactly what Bug meant, but it works. God Taz climbing onto Up’s back is still the most hilarious thing ever. Whoever thought of her climbing that way was a genius. So funny. I always wanted to try it. Holding the gun up to her head like a blowdryer always gave me anxiety. Making the door out of a scrim that can be backlit was genius. Oof and bringing back “The needs of the many bugs outweigh the needs of the few bugs. Or the one bug.” just hurts. Poor Bug. My heart. This is probably the line that sticks with me to this day and I do think about sometimes.

Ok it’s now 2am and I still have 2 more parts.

I sorta love that Joey didn’t have the time to change into his blacks so he’s still in the Starship Ranger suit while playing the Bug puppet. “Save the Overqueen. I love her.” Awww. “Roach, I’m gonna get the job done if it’s the second last thing I do.” Love it. That Kick It Up A Notch Reprise though. Brian, you should play villains more often. Also remember all of us being like “LUPIN CAN SING?!?!?!??!!” “Lucky for me, God is dead. When you see him in hell, tell him Junior sent you.” Deadgod I love that line. This whole deadgod thing was just leading up to that amazing line. Oh no Bugette! Bug saying “maestro” oh my god. “DFSDSJFDSJKFDS... I’m dead.” I forgot that part! Oh my god the way Brian flicks the glasses back down on his face. Ok so I saw Lauren wiggle her way behind the mucus sac, but I didn’t see Nick come onstage. I rewinded, and I guess the zoom in shots on Brian and Joey were timed so we can’t see Nick join Lauren to be the first larva to come out. Oh well. And I love the crowd cheering as Junior dies. “And bingo was his name-o” That callback though. I forgot that the Overqueen eats Bugette’s body while crying. “Or Bugette! Oh...” Also god Roach is adorable.

Last part. 2:21am. Here we go. Krayonder got his blood sucked out by giant mosquitos and was cut up by a giant scorpion, but all he needs is a bandage around his head. Awwww the soft “I Wanna Be” playing the background as Bug begs the team to accept his bug form. Bug being so mad “It’s that bastard Pincer isn’t it?” and then being so happy that Joey does the little nose scrunch thing. So cute. JOEY’S FACE WHEN DENISE KISSES THE BUG PUPPET. Cannot believe I forgot that until 2 seconds before it happened too. “I now pronounce you man vs. machine. Fight!” WOAH. Why in the WORLD did “eep op ork ahah” come back to me. I was able to say it WITH Joey. That was straight from the DEPTHS of my teenage brain oh my god. I forgot about that oh my GOD. THAT’S INSANE. I FORGOT SO MUCH STUFF BUT I REMEMBERED HOW TO SAY “I LOVE YOU” IN BUG.

And the Beauty reprise.

God I love this musical. It’s still my fave StarKid show I think. And I’m horrified to see that it has only 500K views for the last part, so only 500K people have watched it all the way through after 10 years. That’s disgraceful. It’s amazing. Watch Starship.

It is 2:32am. I started at 8:50pm. Got sidetracked when I had to rewatch the Beauty part of Act 2 again to make sure I got my notes back in the post. Took a few bathroom breaks. But this is mostly because I paused every like 10 seconds to make a comment, so it took 5 and a half hours to watch a 3 hour musical. This why I take forever to watch things while liveblogging. I take too long to writing notes.

I’ll probably just post this in the morning. Gotta proofread for mistakes before posting.

Ok it’s the next afternoon. This post is literally 5,000+ words and takes 20 minutes to read according to a online word counter. I’m sorry to whoever read this entire thing. Your reward is the pictures of the Starship plushies I crocheted when I was 15 and 16.

(Ignore the bad lighting and my horribly chipped paint. That’s the only picture I have of the Bugette one since I gave it to Lauren Lopez a day later. I started making another for myself shortly after but never finished. Maybe I should finally finish the second one... hmm...)

#hope rewatches starkid #guys i'm not kidding it's 5000+ words i wrote a lot i commented on basically every single second of this 3 hour musical

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queen-erika-the-songful · 4 years

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Okay, here are my initial thoughts on Princess Adventure. These are in no way organized; they’re just as I can remember them. Feel free to send asks if you want

- Barbie defending Chelsea’s creativity and imagination is great to see. It’s one of the best parts of Dreamhouse Adventures so it’s nice to see them continue that in this film

- I like “Try It On” a lot more now. It’s not my favorite, and I think it’s one of the weaker songs in comparison to the rest of the soundtrack, but it’s honestly kind of a bop.

- “It’s like they don’t even want me in this movie!” LOL even Tammy herself knows she’s been done an absolute injustice.

- Holy crap Amelia’s plan is so freaking funny to me. She could’ve just, like...invited Barbie over to her kingdom since she’s the princess and was already a fan of Barbie’s vlogs anyway. But nah, she’s gotta have this whole convoluted “cultural exchange” bullshit I just can’t

- Speaking of Amelia, it’s a little disappointing that we don’t spend nearly as much time with her as we do with Barbie, and, thus, we don’t get to see who the supposed “real” her really is. She says she finally got to explore things about herself, like her fears and dreams, but she never goes into details. Ironically, the audience never gets to see who the true Amelia is, we just have to go off what she said about “who [she] is does matter”. I mean, we certainly get glimpses of it (again, the convoluted plan - she’s obviously ‘act first think later’), but overall it’s not nearly enough, at least to me

- “(Not A) Picture Perfect Girl” might just be my favorite song from this movie. It honestly made me tear up a bit. We’ll see if that changes over my next rewatches

- The running gag with Trey mixing up Barbie and Amelia while Ted and Ned knew was a lot funnier than I expected it to be

- Trey is now trans and you can’t change my mind.

- I really appreciate “Somewhere New” a lot more now since seeing it in the movie. I love that the choreography starts on the plane. It was a cool choice that really felt like a “musical” thing to do. I also like that everyone got to sing at leaset a line or two on their own.

- WTF happened between Floravia and Johanistan? Did they have a war or something? Why are they being united into just a bigger Floravia? It sounds pretty fishy. I can understand why Johan is so upset based on what little information is given to us, so I wish they had gone into it a bit more.

- Johan asked “Amelia” (Barbie in disguise) if she remembered what they said they would do as rulers when they were kids. That never comes back and it really bothered me. What was the promise? That they’d rule together? That they’d treat each other’s kingdom equally? I actually thought at the coronation that Amelia would give the answer to that question (something like “Johan, remember what we told each other...”) and then do something like absolve the treaty so that she and Johan would rule their own respective kingdoms. l

- IDK, I think I would’ve just liked it more if Johan had been like Amelia’s brother/cousin/whatever that wanted to become King. He’d be a more boring villain that way but it would be less complicated than this.

- WE GOT REPRISES OF 2 SONGS BUT THEY AREN’T ON THE SOUNDTRACK?! I will NOT stand for that. As soon as the movie comes out on DVD I’m ripping those tracks out and adding them to my playlist

- I really thought Ken and Barbie were finally going to get together. I shall now accept my clown shoes and wig. I’m already applying the makeup now.

- The sequence for “Life in Color” disappointed me a bit. It’s one of my favorite songs on the soundtrack, but the placement in the movie felt like it came out of nowhere. I was really hoping for a nice, tender moment between Barbie and Amelia. Even if they were kept separated, it could’ve started with them video-chatting again. Maybe they’d talk about their personal struggles and then Barbie would stop the recording (”We don’t have to film this...”) and they’d just have a moment between themselves to talk.

- On the other hand, “King of the Kingdom” was such a good scene. It was very entertaining and I laughed a lot (which I had to hold back a lot since I was still at work). Also, those boys can move!!

- To make up for all of the interruptions and missed opportunities, Ken Carson deserves at least 3 episodes centered on him and his life and 1 where he finally tells Barbie how he feels

- TAFFY HAD NO REASON TO BE IN THIS MOVIE. I don’t care that Barbie almost always needs an animal sidekick. Snowy (Amelia’s bunny) fills that role. Taffy just gave everyone a freaking heart attack. Also, how the heck did she survive the plane ride? California to Floravia is a 10-hour flight so how did she stay unnoticed for so long?? ROBERTS FAMILY, GET SOME DAMN LEASHES!

- Speaking of that scene, I hate it. It ate up valuable time that could’ve been later spent developing the plot or Amelia’s character. It was only like 2 minutes but in a movie that is already pretty short (1hr11min) every second counts

- Can DA please finally drop the whole “Hey look Renee is claustrophobic” already? It’s repetitive as all hell and honestly it rubs me the wrong way how often it’s played for laughs. It works in the DA Halloween episode since it’s all about everyone facing their fears but everywhere else it feels like a cheap & undeserved laugh (it only happens twice in the movie I think but I wanted to mention it anyway)

- Morningstar being a little bitch to Barbie was hilarious. I don’t really like animal toys anymore but I’d totally buy her. (She’s part of a doll-horse set called Prance & Shimmer Horse. The Barbie doll has Amelia’s princess dress).

- “This is My Moment” really warmed my heart. The last shot with Amelia and Barbie smiling at each other reminded me a lot of Princess & the Popstar actually. I also really like how they brought back stuff from “Try It On” for Barbie’s verse. Musical finale numbers that bring back earlier motifs is something I just cannot get enough of.

- I liked Alfonso. Like Amelia said, he means well; he just didn’t put as much thought into what Ameila herself wants as he could have. But hey, he was learning just as much as they were

- I LOVED all of the stuff with Barbie trying to make it big and that bitch Rose Ross being all “This is what you have to do to make it sweetie :)” like that’s a great thing to show to kids. You can want to be famous and expand your content like Barbie wanted to, but you have to be smart about it, and you have to stay true to yourself. That plotline also mixed pretty well with Amelia’s life being formulated for the public too. I really did like all of that stuff about how media, social media especially, is constantly fabricated and edited to make things seem easier/better than they might be in real life.

- THEY FINALLY WENT BACK TO INDIVIDUAL END MORALS THANK GOD. I got really tired of seeing “This is our story, what’s yours?” after every Barbie movie, especially when every movie that used it wasn’t going for that message. Hell, that’s not even a lesson or anything, that’s just a random end quote.

- “Life doesn’t happen on camera. Life is what happens when the cameras are off” THAT IS SO GOOD AND RELEVANT I CAN’T EVEN!!!

#barbie spoilers #barbie movies #barbie: princess adventure #long post

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fortyflightower · 5 years

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artist ask babey!!😌🤙 the smiths, charli xcx, LANA DEL REY. i could do more. we shall see

CAITLYN YOU MADE THIS SO HARD FOR ME.... thank u but also i hate you 😤 sorry this is so long i just have a lot of thoughts and i don’t know how to shut up. i told you this was going to be a novel and here it is. writers doing nanowrimo wish they were me.

THE SMITHS.... one time i mentioned that i listened to them to one of my art teachers & he asked me what my favorite songs by them were & i completely blanked. it still haunts me to this day but i’m stronger now and i will not make that mistake again

1. back to the old house

this song has everything. the depression. the softness the yearning. ALSO these lyrics...

and you never knew / how much I really liked you / because I never even told you

2. the headmaster ritual

this is the song i listen to when i’m depressed, angry, and considering dropping out of school.

i want to go home / i don't want to stay / give up education / as a bad mistake

belligerent ghouls / run manchester schools / spineless bastards all

this line makes me think of my vid prod teacher 😊😤

3. still ill

had to stop myself from copy pasting all of the lyrics from this one. i also have it on my adam playlist SO.

england is mine, it owes me a living / but ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye

what can i say... i just like the rage and entitlement of this

but we cannot cling to the old dreams anymore / no, we cannot cling to those dreams

no thoughts head empty. i think i like it because it reminds me of that line from ribs by lorde.

does the body rule the mind / or does the mind rule the body? / i dunno

this is so adam core. will not explain any further

4. this charming man

BASIC I KNOW but it was the first song i ever listened to by them (i found it on a gansey playlist on 8tracks back in middle school😔🤟) don’t have any favorite lyrics from this one but the opening is ICONIC.

5. well i wonder

this one.... is SO emo but that’s okay... also the way he sings these lyrics... TOO MUCH 4 me

gasping - dying - but somehow still alive / this is the final stand of all I am / please keep me in mind

honorable mentions are there is a light that never goes out, the boy with the thorn in his side, never had no one ever, cemetery gates, and I WANT THE ONE I CANT HAVE because i’m THAT indecisive

miss Charli XCX... i’m going to be real i don’t listen to her much but when i do i am DOWN TO CLOWN.

1. vroom vroom

i have a playlist called “music to get into a car crash to” and this is the only song on it.

lavender lamborghini, roll up in a blue bikini /bitches on the beaches, lookin' super cute and freaky

Ugh the vibes of this 😩 wish my friends and i could pull this look off

bitches know they can't catch me / (vroom vroom) cute, sexy and my ride's sporty

used this for as a caption for that one tdt drawing i did & i have no regrets. this really embodies the vibes of any scene where ronan & kavinsky are racing.

beep beep, so let's ride

i just think the sound effects are funny

bubblegum-pink ferrari, yeah, I'm so bossy

these are the vibes i would like to embody but never will. also i think barbie & elle woods gave me a primal respect and desire for a pink car.

2. dreamer

nothing to say abt this one except that all i can think abt when i listen to it is that one maggie steifvater copying charli xcx meme. also it’s an absolute banger and one of the songs i blast when i’m going unhinged but in a sexy thot type of way

3. boom clap

this song changed my life when i first heard it on the tfios soundtrack. not that deep but does music have to be? no.

first kiss just like a drug /under your influence / you take me over you're the magic in my veins/ this must be love

boom clap / the sound of my heart / the beat goes on and on and on and on and

HER MIND WHEN SHE WROTE THIS... pop music peaked with this song

LANA. i like listening 2 her music in the winter because the summer depression vibes cancel out seasonal depression like pemdas. she was litchrally my spotify artist of the decade which is so baffling because i don’t feel like i listen to her that much. ALSO every few months i get sucked into a hole of watching concert vids on instagram & it ruins my life.

1. salvatore

the vocals in this... she truly has the range.

I adore you, can't you see, you're meant for me?

catch me if you can / working on my tan / salvatore / dying by the hand / of a foreign man / happily / calling out my name / in the summer rain / ciao amore /salvatore can wait / now it's time to eat / soft ice cream

all of her ooohing and aaahing is great but THIS PART is so sexy. also i almost made a post comparing “dying by the hand of a foreign man happily” & “the choice was death or hurting adam which wasn’t much of a choice at all” but i figured it was too much

2. video games

basic but it’s a classic. also the radical face cover re-ignited my love for this song.

i say you the bestest / lean in for a big kiss put his favorite perfume on / go play your video game

there’s a video of her singing this live where she’s on a swing and she waves her hand when she says “go play your video game” and i think about it every single day

he holds me in his big arms / drunk and i am seeing stars / this is all i think of

this part makes me want to be held 😪

it's you, it's you, it's all for you / everything i do / i tell you all the time / heaven is a place on earth with you

honestly so romantic. what else can i say

3. off to the races

this is my favorite to see live videos of.. the little dance she does to it has me feeling some type of way 🥺😪 one of the classics. lana slapping the roof of this song like “this baby can fit to much daddy kink, drugs, and sex in it”

swimming pool / glimmering darling /white bikini off with my red nail polish

my old man is, a tough man / but he got a soul as sweet as blood red jam / and he shows me, he knows me, every inch of my tar black soul

the imagery of this... UGH

4. california

THIS ENTIRE SONG IS TOO GOOD. i don’t even know what to say abt it except that lana really went off with nfr

you don't ever have to be stronger than you really are / when you're lying in my arms, baby / you don't ever have to go faster than your fastest pace

you're scared to win, scared to lose / i've heard the war was over if you really choose

5. old money

this one makes me cry the hardest out of all her songs because it’s so sad and desperate

blue hydrangea, cold cash divine / cashmere, cologne and white sunshine / red racing cars, sunset and vine / the kids were young and pretty

once again the imagery in her songs is UNPARALLELED.

the power of youth is on my mind

this makes me think abt that lorde quote abt how teenagers sparkle or whatever

and if you call i'll run, run, run / if you change your mind, i’ll come, come, come

bonus: music to watch boys to

SORRY i needed to put this one on here. this one should be near the top but i completely forgot abt it until it came on shuffle play & i don’t feel like renumbering the entire list. this one truly is a ronan song i don’t make the rules (the music to watch boys to is the murder squash song). once again it’s the imagery of it all that gets to me.

i like you a lot / putting on my music while I'm watching the boys / so I do what you want

live to love you / and i love to love you / and I live to love you, boy

nothing gold can stay / like love or lemonade / or sun or summer days / it's all a game to me anyway

diet mountain dew didn’t make it onto this list but i have 2 pairs of heart shaped sunglasses because of it so it has a special place in my heart... lanas impact

other honerable mentions are the greatest, fuck it i love you, venice bitch, dark paradise, BURNING DESIRE and cherry because it’s the only good song on lust for life

#blah blah blah #would put this all under a read more but i do not have a computer on me 😪#SORRY THIS IS SO LONG #truly nobody cares about this but i have opinions #asks

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catastrothicc · 7 years

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one of these days i'll make a coherent intro post, however *bts vc* not today !! hello and welcome to johnny's world where we're shit @ introductions and even worse at consistency. honestly i cant stick to shit someone assist. anyways ! i bring the last piece of the puzzle rocky, who for some unfathomable reason wasn't taken ?? and i cried ?? fate. uh right i'm 19 and i never fkcing learned how to read. mdt timezone. them/they pronouns. continue under the read more to kill some brain cells !!

tw: physical and mental abuse/manipulation, drugs/alcohol and death/murder.

here's his soundtrack if u wanna listen while u read

DON'T DWELL ON THE PAST // ( i'm not even sure if i'm sticking to this [ looks @ admins nervously ] so things might change up if it doesn't fall w/ the right timeline. ) ( forgive the length the muse is real )

born on october 31st, 1995 ( happy halloween ) in deadtree, rocky was an entirely healthy baby received with much love by his mother and with some hesitance by his father. all he knew was how to shit and cry and life was a paradise, until eventually the months started rolling by that became three years and his mother was in a freak car accident that left her paralyzed from the waist down and with a bad case of major head trauma.

rocky still firmly believes that she woke up from her coma by god's will even if her basic executive function skills and self-regulations were gone. she had to be taken care of just like him, and the doctor's promised she'd learn to eat on her own again and her speech problems would regulate. this... did not happen. maybe it would've, if she had lived longer, but rocky never got to see the day when he didn't have to help his mom bathe or brush her hair.

his dad was the only source of income in the household besides his mom's monthly pension that the man would take and then disappear for days. he was bitter about having to raise rocky all on his own and even more bitter about the hefty hospital bills they were going to be paying off for the next several years. all the man wanted to do was laze about with a beer in his hand and a blunt in the other.

from early on he was prone to anger and it often manifested itself physically, so rocky would always have a bruise or two somewhere on his body. it was fine as long as the man wasn't hurting his mom, and he couldn't do anything else but accept the rough treatment.

he and his mom were becoming more and more neglected by his father, who only provided the bare minimum to eat and took his wife's pills for himself. rocky was already in school and he was that kid who always got off the bus running to get home. no one knew that he always ran to make sure his mom was okay while he was gone.

he was nine years old when his dad handed him a bottle of morphine and explained to him that the whole bottle would help his mom get a good night's sleep for once. rocky, knowing how much his mom struggled to rest, took the bottle and put each and every pill in his moms hand and watched her drink them until the last one. she did go to sleep, of course. rocky thought he'd done good until she didn't wake up the next morning.

he grew incredibly distant from his dad after this. he was already used to taking care of himself and his mom was the only reason he really bothered to make it home early, so after her death he got into every after-school activity he could manage, and when it wasn't enough, he ran around the streets with the older kids and pretended to be *cool*.

he started dabbling with the drug scene really early on in middle school, when he realized that his dad would never strive to be anything else but a piece of shit, so he decided to steal his pills and weed just like the man had stolen his mothers medication. he would sell them to his upperclassmen and never took any for himself because he saw what they could do, though eventually he did weed in high school and besides the occasional dose of ecstasy he doesn't do more than that.

one day, at age seventeen, he went home and his dad was gone. he waited for three weeks before he sold everything and fixed up a small abandoned house that became his new abode. with the cash he'd gotten from the car and the furniture he began growing his own hella dank nug, and eventually there was word on the streets about it. his dad had always been his unaware provider, but soon enough rocky joined a group as a dealer while selling his own stuff on the side.

he didn't want to follow under someone else so he got to the roots and offered the group's providers a better deal and eventually the business was going to him alone. people saw more opportunity with him and they flocked to his side one by one until he ran the original leader to the ground. honestly this kid was hella good in school and just as good in the streets.

of course it didn't happen without a fight tho so talk about several near-death experiences !! the streets are dangerous children stay in school.

fast forward, he had what he intensely regrets with elaine-- honestly had a good time dating a rich ‘good’ girl until he got real bad vibes from her and it wasn't chill anymore. felt real personally attacked that she was ashamed of him and broke it tf off. fuck a fake bitch !!

( me: plays hero by enrique iglesias for this section ) and then shiloh came ! his lord and savior. his fkcing BAE. would do ANYTHING for this boy is2g makes me so emo i'm shAKING just thinking about it. rocky truly believes this boy is his soul mate. he loves him so much oh my godfjsdh.

at this point his drug ring wasn't at all what it is now. it was relatively small and the profits weren't all that good but he was doing what he could. he had steady members who had been with him since the start and shiloh became an addition along with his best girl giselle and (eventually) barbara. honestly the dream squad nothing could stop them they were invisible. unfortunately there was a snake in their ranks and goddamn he's glad she showed herself honestly good fucking riddance barbie. he felt real betrayed after she left but if anything he thinks it made his crew tighter and stronger. still hates tht bitch tho afTER EVERYTGIH HE DID FOR HER.

( to be 10/10 honest tho rocky is a manipulative bastard and he thinks he's real slick but barbie caught on and he feels extremely attackt )

anyways so knowing that shiloh and giselle are his tru ride or die pals ( 👀 @ giselle ) the business continues and they're still the dream squad. sure they're doing shady af things and they've always been doing them but u kno what they say there ain't no rest for the wicked !!

he didn't at all like the fact tht shiloh pursued an internship w/ the mulani family but he tried to keep it chill because he loves and supports his bae but honestly could not do it. he doesn't personally pay too many visits to sycamore city precisely bc he goddamn loathes the mulani and moon families after all they've done to his people ( esp the moon’s ) and to think shiloh was getting involved w/ them really tested him as a person. he fcking failed because of how much shiloh wanted a pass into the city and rocky held him back but he's so goddamn proud of their love like damn. he knows he doesn't offer everything shiloh wants but he's out here tryin' his best to get his bae the life he deserves even if he's the worst street rat and everybody knows it.

( what is he secretly doing w/ all tht money tho hmmm )

BABY RIDE WITH ME // in regards to the *gollum vc* precious ( the ring )

just so the squad and ex-squad can get a feel of how rocky runs the ring i'm includin' this here

so rocky makes it a point to be an approachable leader whom you can go to with your problems and he'll have your back 100%. honestly everyone's dad there's no one left out. he keeps his status as the leader not by cruel acts to show what happens to rats but by making sure he's understood by each individual member. he's not the violent type at all unless someone really tests him but this guy preaches that people understand by words and acts of kindness not by violence and torture. he needs loyalty above all else so he offers a safe sanctuary to anyone who needs it. it comes with a price ofc but all he asks is that u do ur job and he'll keep u off the streets. basically in his group everyone has each other's backs and he's involved with everyone, not only because it helps him keep close tabs on everything but because that blanket of safety for his members is very important to him.

when it comes to his dealers he basically lets them do things their own way as long as they're not out there hurting innocent people. he pays by commission so it's really up to the dealers how much they wanna sell and who they wanna sell it to. he doesn't force his own morals onto his peeps so if they wanna sell to junkies who are gonna overdose on their next hit then that's really up to them. he just tries to guide them by telling em' the right things to do even in a shady business like their own.

w/ that being said shiloh is also a huge part of it, being his right hand man and all. rocky isn't all too meticulous or anything fancy like that, so he leaves a lot of decisions up to shiloh and honestly they're both huge dads just running a drug ring fjsiudhfgi

HE KNOWS HE'S SO FUCKING TALENTED // regarding his personality

rocky is a cocky piece of shit honestly i hate it but best concept

he genuinely thinks so highly of himself ?? even though he knows he's up to Some Shit ??

anyways i just wanted to mention that LMAO but find his full list of attributes here that i jst ctrl c ctrl v from the app. honestly will tell u all about his personality. thanks for reading this long ass, terribly structured, shitty shitty intro honestly u.... deserve a medal if u got thru it. is it too late to mention tht english is not my first language fhsuidfh

#pc.intro #⦁ — › OwO ᴡʜᴀᴛ's ᴛʜɪs? — ⌜ ᴏᴏᴄ ⌟#( IFROGOT THE INTRO TAG )#( anyways )#( highkey so happy to be here sehfdiufh )

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its--this · 5 years

Text

its a long Boi cuz it’s my whole life

People will see this which is what I want

And nobody will tell me what they think

Which is what I want

Because what I think about my experience, my emotions, how I’ve felt through these years, how it’s affected me, is what is real. It’s fact. Nobody can tell me otherwise because nobody else has felt what I’m feeling and what I’ve felt.

But they still do. And these stories, emotions, psychological damage, are immediately extinguished. I’m swimming in a fish bowl. Around and around, in my own place, while everyone else lives outside it. I try to tell them about it. They say they don’t see it. They say that it’s probably not a fish bowl. It’s not water. So I should just breathe.

I don’t need anyone to fix it. It can’t be fixed. Only left behind.

I just need someone to see it. I’m using this as storage purposes, as some memories are fading, but of course, the effects are concrete.

I don’t hate everything I just feel everything and you don’t wanna hear it.

My sister comes to mind first. She made things worse. Made home into house.

But if we’re gonna go back, might as well go back to the start.

I’ve been an outsider ever since I can remember. I thought I was an age thing but it still happens to this day. I was always left out of games and other activities my cousins and sisters did together. That was the earliest I remember noticing the sinking feeling of betrayal/abandonment/outsiderness whatever it is in my chest. I was like 6 or 7. I remember the clothes I had on. And what will become a common theme throughout my life, the adults took no care towards me being upset. It’s not like I went to them to force my cousins to let me join, I was just upset and needed comfort while I rode it out. But I was a nuisance. I ended up crying in my room alone, to which a few cousins enter, call me attention seeking, and turned the light off leaving me in the pitch black. Being a young kid, that’s a terrifying thing, and I was already messed up that night.

I remember having such a bad relationship with my cousins that one year I decided “I’m going to start fresh, I’ll apologise (because I thought I was at fault, and I guess you’ll have to trust me that I was innocent here), I’ll start up again with a new friendliness” I even had outfits planned for the big moments of apologising and whatever else I had planned to do. Obviously it didn’t work. I was 9, wanted to wear my favourite pink skirt. Had like a barbie soundtrack to the whole thing. That Christmas was the worst of it. Again, I was simply not wanted around. Of course, I was upset, and again, the adults had no care, I vaugely remember my mum telling me to stop/quit it/shut up, something along those lines. So I went to find a little place to cry in by myself. Only to be tracked by the cousins and my sister so they could make fun of my crying and me being upset. I don’t like looking at the photos of that year. I think of it as the starting point of all that went wrong.

In these times I was always called a loud mouth by my family, they didn’t like me talking. When I was around 13 I decided I couldn’t take it anymore. Whenever I tried to speak, nobody would listen, and new conversations were begun, or nobody would reply/give acknowledgement to what I said. I remember the specific moment I decided I’d stop trying. So I stopped talking. Became kinda lifeless. Got very sad. I remember telling myself to “hold it back, it doesn’t matter what you have to say, nobody wants to hear it”. I wouldn’t try to start conversations or contribute to them. I’d only speak to answer questions I was asked directly. If I didn’t I’d get in trouble. I stopped talking for two years. I couldn’t talk to anyone except one person. And in grade 8 my reputation was established as a weird outsider. Though I never did or acted strange, I was only quiet and extremely nervous, nobody, for some reason, wanted me around. I was always the one kid who had to do pair activities in pe with the teacher. I told my parents I thought I had social anxiety. I was laughed at for “self diagnosing”. My fingerless gloves became my blanket, and I’m still deeply attached to them 5 years later. I start writing in a book called hungry.

I was bullied that year for asking some girls to move out of my seat, politely, quietly, because that’s the only spot I felt comfortable sitting in the room. Every time the teacher would ask a question they would loudly tell her they weren’t comfortable with it. Happened in the halls. I would sob in the shower to the tune of flipside by Lana Del Rey. On that note, personal hygiene took a massive dip. Has still barely recovered.

That year I also was by fate, appointed the task of keeping my best friend alive. With some literal sense, I was feeding some of my sanity and well-being to her to keep her here. I would wake up each day wondering if she was still alive. I would have panic attacks at night. I plunged further into sadness and anxiety. I watched her bleed on valentines. I don’t think about valentines anymore. I did my job, she’s still alive today but still not living. It’s not my problem anymore though.

I also gave myself deep, traumatising memories that year. Not explaining.

During my time of not speaking, my mind opened up to the world. I would see things that you would usually miss in the buzz and the flow of ‘regular’ ‘normal’ life. I was on a whole other track. I learned an appreciation for everything that was around me. The small details of it all. My mind opened up in a way that others never will.

In 2015 I started to doubt my existence. I literally thought I didn’t exist, because my friend group would always make plans without me while standing right in front of me, would just start walking somewhere and leave me behind, and my best friend was replacing me. Home life started to get worse. My little sister would bully me constantly. Physically and emotionally. She would insult everything. My room, face, hair, clothes, friends, the way I talk, my nose, everything. She would constantly tell me that if I looked a certain way that I’d have friends. She would constantly tell me that I was so ugly nobody would ever love me and that everyone around me, including my parents, were faking it. At this time my relationship with my parents was fading anyways. I trusted them less and less. Particularly my mum as my dad was always away with job stuff, and never really handled kid matters anyways. My sister would always shove me into things as she walked past me. Or if I wanted to enter a room or open a door, or the fridge or whatever, she’d rush over and push in front of me before I could and open it herself for no reason while taking a long time. To get me frustrated. Small things like that. She figured out I hated feet. Would always put hers all over me. She still does. She figured out the sounds I hated. The sounds that make me twitch and want to scratch my face off when I hear, and always leave me in a sobbing mess because I can’t handle the irritation. It was torture. Each time I went to my mum to get her to handle it, I was dismissed, and was treated like a nuisance. I was getting in her way, and my problem was interrupting her funny Facebook video. The harassment continued. It still does.

Consequently, she grew to have no remorse for what her behaviour did to others. I would just sob in my room for a few hours each day as they grew worse and worse, feeling the most unbearable betrayal as my mum would let these things happen to me, even as she watched them happen. She never got as much as a “don’t do that” from my mum. She still did it. She disrespected everything I owned. My bath towel would be hanging in the bathroom, on the towel rack, where it belongs, on the rack that was specifically installed and made for that exact use, in that exact place, and it would always be COVERED in toothpaste marks. My sister would constantly wipe her grotty face all over it when she brushed her teeth. My mum told me that it’s my fault because I hang my towel there, and that I shouldn’t. Same goes with food. Bought myself some chocolate, put it in the fridge, sister ate it, Mum tells me that I shouldn’t have put it in the fridge. Sister has no remorse. Because she never had any consequences. My mum wonders why she always goes out getting drunk in the streets and doing drugs every weekend nowadays. (she’s 16.). One day I will tell her that it’s because she never had any consequences. Maybe I am the way I am because my consequences were psychological.

I grew around my mothers anger. Nothing was ever her fault. Each time she was angry, I would get an instant panic attack, and have to quietly sob to myself while I waited for her to be finished. If she saw my tears she would yell at me, asking me why I’m upset. I once told her my belongings weren’t respected, were stolen, misused etc. she got angry at me and told me “well my house isn’t respected so suck it up (your problem doesn’t matter because I’ve just one upped you and that one up is your fault)” (typical teenage messes, not like we were tagging walls and smashing windows, the house was fundamentally and normally fine.) so I’ve grown to become very protective over my things. I don’t like it. It hurts relationships.

I hated coming home.

Late 2015 a girl in my school died. She tried to hang herself in the school and died later on in hospital with family by her side. It was a slap in the face how quickly and easily I could lose my best friend. It was a dark day.

In 2016 I broke up with my best friend. She was taking too much of a toll on me. She was spreading rumours, and wasn’t a friend at all. I was alone now, because the other friends that were left weren’t really my friends. They were more friends with each other. That summer I spent three months inside. I didn’t go out. I sat alone on New Years sobbing. They would always make plans without me and I would only find out through their Snapchat stories. I confronted them about it. They just didn’t want me around, so they turned around the blame on me somehow. They would always talk about how annoying I was for complaining about being left out. So I stopped and just suffered the hurt.

My mum gets angrier. My sister continues the harassment. I stand in school and watch as the car comes towards me. It means I have to go home. I don’t want to. I’m too sad there. I get no respect there.

My mum calls me disgusting, dirty, and publicly shames me. She doesn’t realise these are symptoms. She doesn’t care that I know, and hate myself for it. I know I need therapy. I desperately need help. But I can’t get it. Because if she knew, it’d be a new weapon against me. Actually, I tried asking once, she denied anything was happening. I never asked again.

I call my sister out for being a bully. The whole house gangs up on me and tells me that I’m actually the bully for calling her out. Each time I try to speak out they just laugh. They don’t take it seriously. They don’t believe me. I wanted to die. I thought I couldn’t last the three or four years it would be until I could escape them, I thought I’d die before then. I learned how to hold back everything. It only further made them not believe me. They didn’t see any ‘evidence’. Though if they did, it’d be more fuel for the fire they held me in. I have no more relationship with my parents. Or my siblings. I don’t understand how family can ‘love’ each other. I cry when I see it’s not fiction. I wish it was different.

2017 was the lowest. Emotional trauma I didn’t realise how bad it was until I tried to remember the events that year, and completely forgot the biggest one, the one where I was so close to dying. I was completely alone that year. My friends had fully deserted me. My partner left. I was face to face and fully immersed, living, breathing my worst worst fear and I was so fucking scared to live. I will never forget the sheer terror and fear I felt in those months. I was so powerless. I had anxiety before this. I had depression before this. This was just the snap. I lost 5 kgs. I was only 45kgs before. I slept through New Years.

My sisters attitude gets worse. She continues to emotionally bully me. My mum continues to ignore me. Blames me for things. Makes my anxiety and depression worse as a whole. My hair starts falling out. I don’t know why. Mum yells at me because it’s all over the place. It just falls out. My sister is babied for things my mum refuses to acknowledge in me, therefore I have to put up with without any assistance. I learn to survive on my own. I accept that I will always be on my own, no matter what. I don’t trust people. I don’t think I ever will. I still brace myself for impact whenever my sister walks behind me when I’m sitting down (she used to just forcefully push my head forwards). I tell my mum that I don’t like her touching me (she would always grab my butt or just brush my arm, normal things yes but I didn’t like them). She tells me that she can do what she wants with me, because she ‘made me’ I tell her that I am my own human and she has no right to go against my wishes for my body. She tells me I am not my own, I am hers and I have no rights and she can do what she wants whenever. She gets mad at me for not telling her what my doctors appointments are about. I don’t know why but somewhere I developed a hate for hugs. But only from specific people, my family. I hate the hugs from them. I cringe at the thought. Now I hate being touched.

2018 I get a job. It’s the best thing that’s happened to me. It’s changed me so positively. I’ve met amazing, actual humans through it. I’m doing nightfall. My days start at 7 am for school, and end at 10 pm after work. I get about an hour break all together in the day. My mum tells me that she hates picking me up because she has to stay up until 10. I tell her that I too have the same hours of the day as her, except in the five hours that I’m working, lifting boxes, working up a sweat, serving customers on my feet the whole time, she’s sitting at home on a couch eating a full meal while I’m having a snickers for dinner or on numerous occasions, just water. I also have to keep up with study and assignments (I have no idea at all how I managed to pull this off and I’m impressed with myself). She doesn’t accept this. Insists her situation is worse. I get no sympathy, not even acceptance. She makes it out like I just insulted her.

I really need extra time on exams. I know I qualify, but it needs a doctor note. I can only get that through mum. So I don’t get one. My grades take a hit. I cry at New Years. Not because I’m sad. But because I’m not dead. I’m surprised and glad that I’m alive.

2019 and the people I’m close to make fun of how I’m feeling. They don’t understand that friends shouldn’t make me feel this way. I call out my older sister for only having negative things to say about me, dragging me down with every word I say. She tries to flip the blame on me. “Well actually you’re so negative about everything”. Doesn’t make your critising any different girl. Everything I do is met with scruitiny. I learn I can’t open up with them like I thought i could. So I seal that forever. I don’t go back.

While the living situation is still the same, I am different. I’m still waiting to get out of here. It’ll happen one day.

Now this is where people will tell me that it isn’t that bad. It isn’t emotional abuse. It’s just what everyone experiences. It’s ‘normal’ family stuff.

But they haven’t feltwhat I felt. They didn’t live through it. They didn’t take the psychological hit. I have so many issues and problems with the way my brain was structured around this living situation. I wanted to kill myself because of their behaviour towards me. That’s not normal.

I don’t tell people any of this because of that. I don’t even want to tell my partner.

They’ll just tell me it doesn’t matter. My psych did. Just told me that I’m too sensitive. All I want is validation. I want someone to look at it and say yes, you went through that. Yes, it’s not normal at all, yes it’s okay you feel that way. I don’t feel I will ever get it. I’m too scared to say it. I’m too scared to hear what I know they’ll say. I’m scared of how it’ll effect me.

#rant #diary #excuse this honestly

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edgysocial · 8 years

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New Post has been published on http://edgysocial.com/47-all-time-funniest-songs-to-cheer-you-up/

47 All-Time Funniest Songs To Cheer You Up

When you feel like having a bad day or just having some down time because of the stressful work, some annoying people, or the bad weather; you don’t always want to talk with people about how you feel. You’d probably prefer chilling on your own with some music playing, particularly some songs that would make you smile, right?

As a music lover, I love listening to and playing different kinds of music. Recently I’ve researched on the funniest songs on YouTube and Spotify and have shortlisted 50 funny and upbeat songs that will surely cheer you up! The list of songs ranged from the 70s, 80s and 90s hits to recent pop songs, you’ll definitely find positive vibes from one of them.

Just sing along when you’re feeling down. Some of the music videos are quite funny too! (By the way, if you love these songs, I’ve got you the complete playlist at the end!)

1. Sweat (A La La La La Long) – Inner Circle

Forget about La La Land, and sing aloud “la la la la….”

I’ve been watching you! A La La La La Long A La La La La Long Long Li Long Long Long.

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2. Witch Doctor – Cartoons

Annoying but super funny!

Ooo eee oo ah ah Ting tang walla walla bang bang….

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3. Wannabe – Spice Girls

Yoooo tell me what you want! I just want some fun!

I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want, So tell me what you want, what you really really want, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha.

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4. Dragostea Din Tei – O-Zone

We just can’t help singing along the languages we don’t understand, don’t we?

Mai-ia-hii Mai-ia-huu Mai-ia-ha Mai-ia-haha Mai-ia-hii Mai-ia-huu Mai-ia-ha Mai-ia-haha

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5. Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!! – Vengaboys

We just wanna do the “BOOM” sound anyway.

Boom boom boom boom I want to do the boom

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6. Barbie Girl – Aqua

Oh who would miss this? Barbie Girl’s just always our favorite! (I always do the lip dub when it’s Ken singing by the way.)

You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere Imagination, life is your creation

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7. Friday – Rebecca Black

Well, what’s better than Fridays?

It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend

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8. U Can’t Touch This – MC Hammer

We love the music anyway, for the lyrics? Of course it’s “can’t touch this”!

Can’t touch this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) Can’t touch this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) My-my-my-my music…

youtube

9. Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit Of….) – Lou Bega

Ladies and gentlemen, just a list of ladies in his life, okay?

A little bit of Monica in my life A little bit of Erica by my side A little bit of Rita is all I need A little bit of Tina is what I see

youtube

10 .Call Me Maybe – Carly Ras Jepsen

Oh so it’s call me Maybe, or call me, maybe? Not funny? Fine…

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here’s my number, So call me, maybe!

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11. Stayin’ Alive – Bee Gees

Falsetto is the focus here, okay?

Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive.

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12. Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now) – C & C Music Factory

Again, falsetto is the focus here, okay?

Ev’rybody dance now! Ev’rybody dance now! Yeah! Yeah! Ev’rybody dance now! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

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13. I Like to Move It – Real 2 Real

I know what you’re thinking, it’s not originated from Madagascar!

I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it. Ya like to… move it.

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14. Y.M.C.A – Village People

Young man, when you’re singing this along, don’t forget your hand gestures for Y-M-C-A.

It’s fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A. It’s fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.

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15. Tunak Tunak Tun – Daler Mehndi

Yes, we’re in love with the foreign language. Do you know that Tunak Tunak Tun actually means dear / beloved? It’s a Bhangra Pop song. [1]

Tunak tunak tun, tunak tunak tun, tunak tunak tun, da da da Tunak tunak tun, tunak tunak tun, tunak tunak tun, da da da

youtube

16. Lemon Tree – Fools Garden

This is funny in a kind of sad way…

I’m sitting here in a boring room, it’s just another rainy Sunday afternoon. I’m wasting my time, I got nothing to do. I’m hanging around, I’m waiting for you, But nothing ever happens – and I wonder.

youtube

17. Macarena – Los Del Rio

Eh,… Macarena – the only word we sing whenever this song plays. It’s actually a pretty funny song about the girl Macarena wanting to meet a boyfriend in the States! [2]

Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena….. ¡Eh,… Macarena! Aaay!

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18. Gangnam Style – PSY

This was the most popular song back a few years ago, and I bet you know how to dance to this song!

Op, op, op, op Oppa Gangnam Style Gangnam Style

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19. Funky Town – Lipps Inc.

The funky music just makes you feel so energetic and want to keep moving!

Well, I talk about it, talk about it Talk about it, talk about it Talk about, talk about Talk about movin’

youtube

20. #SELFIE – The Chainsmokers

A not-so-long ago released song about the common phenomenon of people taking selfie all the time. The monologue is just so cool.

After we go to the bathroom, can we go smoke a cigarette? I really need one But first, Let me take a selfie

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21. Lollipop – Mika

This is just a lovely idea to suck on the lollipop haha!

Sucking too hard on your lollipop, Or love’s gonna get you down

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22. The Lazy Song – Bruno Mars

This just speaks our minds when we want some slack time.

Today I don’t feel like doing anything I just wanna lay in my bed

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23. Hot N Cold – Katy Perry (and the Chipettes version’s even better)

The original Katy Perry version is nice, but I’d also recommend you to try the Chipette version!

You’re up then you’re down You’re wrong when it’s right It’s black and it’s white We fight, we break up We kiss, we make up

youtube

24. Dub-I-Dub – Me & My

I can’t even remember other lyrics in the song besides Dub-I-Dub. We just love to sing it along!

Dub-i-dub-i-dub-i-dub-dub-dub Dub-i-dub-i-dub-i-yeah-yeah Dub-i-dub-i-dub-i-dub-dub-dub I don’t need your love

youtube

25. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun – Cyndi Lauper

Well yes, girls just wanna have fun. Period.

Oh daddy dear you know you’re still number one But girls they want to have fun Oh girls just want to have

youtube

26. We No Speak Americano – Yolanda Be Cool, DCup

Just sing along and knot your head with pa pa l’ americano.

Pa pa l’ americano Pa pa l’ americano Pa pa l’ americano

youtube

27. Livin’ La Vida Loca – Ricky Martin

Just admit it! You like this song too!

Upside, inside out she’s livin la vida loca She’ll push and pull you down, livin la vida loca

youtube

28. Dancing Lasha Tumbai – VERKA SERDUCHKA

It’s a German song about speaking dance, the song sounds really lovely!

Sieben, Sieben, ai lyu lyu Sieben, Sieben, ein, zwei… ein, zwei, drei

youtube

29. My First Kiss – 3oh3! feat. Ke$ ha

The sound of the kiss is the thing you definitely can’t miss in the song.

My first kiss went a little like this [muach] and twist [muach muach] and twist

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30. We Will Rock You – Queen

Hey buddy, just listen how I’m gonna rock you!

We will we will rock you We will we will rock you

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31. Uptown Funk – Mark Ronson & Bruno Mars

Bruno Mars and Mark Ronson are just awesome here, who can resist the beat of this song?

I’m too hot (hot damn) Call the po-lice and the fireman

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32. Summer Nights – Olivia Newton-John, John Travolta (soundtrack from Grease)

From the musical Grease, the “tell mer more” song will never bore you!

Tell me more, tell me more How much dough did he spend? Tell me more, tell me more Could she get me a friend?

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33. Rude – MAGIC!

The funny part is how honest the guy is being with his lover’s dad, don’t you think so?

Why you gotta be so rude? Don’t you know I’m human too? Why you gotta be so rude? I’m gonna marry her anyway

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34. We Like To Party! – Vengaboys

Yes, we know that they really like to party, yes we get that.

We like to party We like, we like to party…. We like to party

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35. Beat It – Michael Jackson

A song about beating up the other, it’s kind of funny. (Don’t get me wrong. This is a really nice song and MJ is a legend!)

Showin’ how funky strong is your fight It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right Just beat it, beat it

youtube

36. Sexy And I Know It – LMFAO

Whoever says they’re sexy and they know it is funny enough.

Girl look at that body Girl look at that body I work out I’m sexy and I know it

youtube

37. Waka Waka – Shakira

This is a lovely song and we all like to sing along “waka waka”!

Tsamina mina, eh eh Waka waka, eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa This time for Africa

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38. Pump It – The Black Eyed Peas

Personally I think the part singing “louder” is worth highlighting.

Pump it (louder) Pump it (louder) Pump it (louder) …..

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39. Hooked on a Feeling – Blue Swede

I can’t stop this feeling either, the sound of ooga-chaka keeps ringing in my head.

Ooga-chaka Ooga-Ooga Ooga-chaka Ooga-Ooga ….

youtube

40. Grace Kelly – Mika

A very cute song about becoming more elegant and look better to impress another person.

I could be brown I could be blue I could be violet sky I could be hurtful I could be purple I could be anything you like

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41. Don’t Stop Me Now – Queen

I think this is a very nice song to play (or sing) to someone if they’re trying to stop you from having a good time.

Don’t stop me now I’m having such a good time I’m having a ball Don’t stop me now If you wanna have a good time just give me a call

youtube

42. Money Money Money – Abba

Funny but sad song about the reality…

I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay Ain’t it sad And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me That’s too bad

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43. Beauty School Drop Out – Frankie Avalon (soundtrack from Grease)

Another song from Grease, the approach of trying to motivate the girl is quite funny.

Beauty school dropout, No graduation day for you. Beauty school dropout, Missed your midterms and flunked shampoo!

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44. Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice

The rap is cool, but we only remember the vanilla ice baby. Yes, our fault.

Ice ice baby, Vanilla Ice ice baby, Vanilla

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45. You Can’t Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd – Roger Miller

The lyrics are just so cute about skating in different places!

Ya can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to Ya can’t take a shower in a parakeet cage But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to

youtube

46. YOLO – The Lonely Island, Adam Levine, Kendrick Lamar

#YOLO, the way the song’s telling people to live the moment is funny. I particularly like these lines:

Never go to loud clubs ‘Cause it’s bad for your ears. Your friends will all be sorry When they can’t hear.

youtube

47. Axel F – Crazy Frog

Bing bing bing bing, bing bing, bing bing bing bing, bing bing bing…. BANG BANG… can you think of anything funnier and crazier than this?

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Just follow and listen to the complete playlist here on Spotify:

Reference

[1] ^ Quora: What do the lyrics to “Tunak Tunak Tun” mean in English? [2] ^ Lyricstranslate: Macarena

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