#anyway. this is non-established j/s bc it makes it more fun

[padfootastic]

Day 2 - Posture

written for @prongsfoot-microfic

“Keep slouching like that, and you’ll end up stuck in that position before you hit thirty.” Professor McGonagall’s stern voice was accompanied by an intensely disapproving glare at Sirius’ sitting—no, slouching posture. He was currently half laid out on a couch, legs thrown over one arm of it and neck hanging off the other side. It was a very comfortable position and even McGonagall’s threats weren’t enough to make him budge.

“S’not like I can be any more bent, let’s be honest,” he muttered under his breath, smirking when Remus and James let out matching snorts of laughter, unable to contain their reactions.

“Mr. Black!” McGonagall gasped, scandalised. He leaned back further to send her a quick wink before slowly moving into a better position.

“Apologies, Professor, I didn’t mean to say that,” he said, utterly insincerely. He wasn’t fooling anyone, of course, but it was the principle of the matter.

“I’m sure you didn’t,” she replied, though a tiny little glint in her eye told Sirius exactly how much she enjoyed their little back-and-forths. She could pretend to be stern and stuffy all she wanted, but it couldn’t be farther from the truth.

She looked at all three of them for a moment, looking like butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths, before letting out an almost-audible sigh. Almost. “Well, I knew it would be futile but I had to try. At least sitting up straight would make it easier for Mr. Potter to carry out his heart’s desire, so there’s that. Do remember there’s young children around, boys.” And with that parting shot, she left, leaving them sitting there in varying stages of disbelief (Sirius), embarrassment (James) and hysterical laughter (Remus, the fucker).

“Did she just—?” James managed to get out before burying his face in his hands. Sirius could see the tips of his extremely red ears peeking out the sides.

“I think it was a fever dream,” Sirius replied mechanically, still trying to make sense of what just happened. How quickly the tables turned on them.

“Oh no, not at all,” Remus finally deigned to join, ceasing his cackles just enough to get his two cents in. “She really did just imply that James wanted to devour you, and that it would be much more effective to do it sitting up.”

“Remus—“ Sirius growled, lifting out of his seat to seal his friend’s mouth shut; he was having entirely too much fun.

“Of course, I agree with her, seeing as there’s no—how did you put it, James?—‘tantalising display of skin torturing you’ now.”

“Oh my god,” James removed his hands from his face, making it clear the blush had travelled violently down his face, over his neck. Sirius could see it had even spread across his chest from the little V of his button-up. He gulped, quickly turning away lest it trigger another kind of heat in him. “Remus, you utter piece of goblin-shite.”

“Thanks ever so much, honey.” Remus blew a kiss, once at each of them, and left without a look back, fully aware of the shit he’d just stirred.

“So…” James was staring at the wall in front of him with a laser focus, resolutely not looking at Sirius.

“So?”

“Wanna go see if you really can’t get any more bent?”

x

Neither of them were seen in the castle for the rest of the day. Remus got at least twenty three galleons and fifteen sickles from the student body, and an additional ten from McGonagall. They made good partners, if he did say so himself.