#anyway. totally unrelated. I hate [REDACTED]

[distant-screaming]

it's so over guys

[incorrectbandofbrothersquotes]

Downton’s Easy Company - Chapter 16

A Band of Brothers x Downton Abbey Crossover

Summary: The new generation of Downton is taking over, but just as the second world war is raging across Europe. On a cool London night, the children of the Crawleys meet the boys of the American 101st Airborne. Worlds collide and hearts are on the line.

Word Count: 3.4k

Tag List: @purplelavalamp​​​, @johnny-martin-is-mypeanut​​​, @the-disassembled-boy​​​, @tvserie-s-world​​​, @50svibes​​​, @cherriesx​​​, @incognito-princess​​​, @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant​​​, @claire-bear-1218, @goingmyway​​​​, @marv-llous​​​, @foalystechcrew​​​, @mother-dearest-loves-me​​, @dench1992​​​, @neverendingstories00​​​, @greenmonkeyfish, @grumpablebutloveable​​​, @lilaxdream​​​ @iilovemusic12us​​​ If you’d like to be added, let me know!

A/N: I hope you enjoy this update! There’s a lot of letters, but I figured they were the best way to show the time passing while they’re separated, so I hope that comes across to everyone :)

Warning(s): None :)

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6  Chapter 7  Chapter 8  Chapter 9  Chapter 10  Chapter 11  Chapter 12  Chapter 13  Chapter 14  Chapter 15

OR

READ THIS FIC ON AO3

Chapter 16 here we go!!!

Dear George,

I’m so relieved you’re back in England. Let us know when you have some leave so we can prepare for you here at home. We miss you a great deal.

Katrine seems sweet enough, though she is rather private. Her boy has made himself quite comfortable, especially with Mama and Papa. We offered to hire a nanny, but Katrine wouldn’t hear of it. It seems an odd way to raise a child to me, but I suppose it comes from her own upbringing. 

You’re right about the boy being bright. Papa and I have taken initiative and are looking into some schools close by. He’s too young to enroll just yet, but we had a tutor evaluate him, and the report was quite promising. 

I do wish you’d tell me how you came by these two. I know you said they helped you when you were trapped in Holland, but I’d like the full story. Perhaps when you come home next, you and I can have a long discussion about it, and the possibilities for the Mondeels here in Yorkshire.

On an unrelated note, have you heard anything from Caroline? We haven’t seen her since before Christmas, and she has not been answering my letters. Have we done something to upset her? If you have any information, do share.

I hope you’re well, my darling.

Love,

Mother. 

***

Dear Ron,

I can’t tell you how good it was to hear from you after all those weeks of silence. I’m also glad you’re out of danger (mostly) and can correspond again. I’ve missed you, as weak as it sounds to admit it. 

Baby and I are doing just fine. I am starting to show more now. So much so that I’m finally making use of the maternity clothes Victoria brought me. I’ve had them tailored so that they’re more modern - not that fashion matters much in times like this - but it does make me feel better. 

I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t been in touch with my family. Just Marigold, Sybbie, Victoria, and George. There isn’t much to tell them except the one thing I know I can’t tell them. As I told you, it doesn’t feel like the sort of thing you put in a letter. Do you think I should grit my teeth and bear it? Or can I put it off a little longer? I’m really beginning to miss my mother, whose presence would be much appreciated by her frightened daughter. 

I must make another admission. I am scared of this. Of the birth, yes, but mostly what comes after. We are going to be responsible for a life. It’s completely overwhelming. Not that I want to bog you down, you’ve got plenty to worry about where you are, but do you ever think of such things? How do you feel about a nanny? I had one growing up, but I understand you likely did not. Was it helpful to you? There’s so much to consider.

I’m also trying to come up with names. I like plenty of boy’s names, but I am starting to wonder if we should have a girl name picked out as well, just in case. I really do think it’s a boy, but one can never be too prepared. 

Here are the names I like so far:

Robert (after my grandfather)

Phillip

Theodore (Ted for short)

Wesley

Charles

Let me know your opinion on these. Keep in mind, his middle name should be Ronald, after you, as is tradition. Do you do that in America? 

If you’ve got any girl names, send them along. I really do think we should decide on one of each.

Be careful, love.

Your Caroline

***

Caroline,

Glad everything’s alright. I’m doing fine. I’d tell you more details, but they’d be redacted anyway, so what’s the point?

You tell your family only when you’re ready. Don’t worry about them. Focus on staying healthy. That’s the only priority right now. If you really need your mom, reach out. She might not like it, but she is still your mother. 

Nobody’s ever really ready for parenthood. Just remember that we are adults and it’s a baby. It doesn’t know how to do anything. We can handle this. 

I did not have a nanny, but depending on how the war goes, you might need the help. Let’s play that one by ear. Don’t overthink it. 

Girls' names are irrelevant, we’re not having a girl. 

As for the names you’ve chosen, here are my thoughts.

Robert is a no go. That’s Colonel Sink’s name and I don’t want to give him a big head.

Phillip is a possibility. 

No to Theodore/Ted. Much too old sounding. 

Wesley can stay in the running. 

I don’t like Charles. 

Now, for your consideration, here are names that I like: 

James

Thomas 

Leo

Haven’t been able to think of much more. But let me know what you think. 

Ron

***

Ron,

You are truly a stubborn arse. All the more shame on me for falling for you, I suppose. 

In spite of all that, I thank you for your reassurance. I will wait some more before telling my family. Marigold and Victoria are doing a very good job of caring for me. 

If you refuse to acknowledge the possibility of a girl, I will simply choose a name myself and you will just have to live with it. I like Violet, after my great-grandmother.

As for the boy names you picked out, I have to say no to Thomas. My uncle is Tom Branson, and then we have our butler Thomas Barrow, and I should hate for our child’s name to be confused with those two. I don’t mean that in a bad way, they’re two of my favorite people, but to have three Tom/Thomas’s in my heart would only get confusing. 

The other two names I very much like. So our list is now down to: 

Phillip

Wesley

James

Leo

(and Violet)

We can narrow it down further at a later date. I’m afraid I have to cut this letter short as I have a doctor’s appointment. 

Stay safe, love.

Your Caroline

Speirs wrinkled his nose at the latest letter. It may have also been because of the dank smell of Haguenau, but he preferred to blame Caroline. Truly, he was fond of the final list of names. He stared at the last one that she scratched out and turned it over in his mind. 

“Violet?” he murmured. 

“Sir?” questioned Lipton from his spot on the couch.

Speirs looked at the sergeant. “What do you think of the name Violet?”

Lipton’s brow furrowed. Before he could answer, he coughed, a small rattle still in his chest, though he was doing much better than before. 

“Violet?” he asked. “For what, like a cat?”

“No, like a baby,” Speirs said. 

He still had not told any of his men about Caroline’s pregnancy. He considered telling Lipton now, just to have someone around he could consult on these matters, but thought better of it. Enough people knew as it was and Caroline was not around to give her permission. 

“Ah, I see,” Lip replied. “I think it’s sweet. Traditional, but not overdone.”

Speirs was surprised that Lip did not challenge a baby name inquiry at a time like this. That was Lip, though. All support, no questions asked. Speirs took a deep breath.

“What do you think of Phillip?”

***

Dear Joe,

I hope I haven’t offended you somehow. It’s been weeks with no word from you. And the girls have received letters from others in your company, so I can’t help feeling like it’s personal. If something has changed between us, I hope you will share that with me. Just give me some clarity, please.

Love,

Victoria

Joe sighed, struggling to put the letter into his pocket with the truck rocking through the countryside. Eventually, he tucked it away and buttoned his pocket over it. Webster watched Joe with keen interest. Especially since Joe’s face looked so pained as he read. 

“Everything alright?” Webster asked. 

“What’s it to you?” Joe returned. 

Webster shrugged. “Alright, I’ll mind my business.”

He returned to his journal. Joe chewed his cheek and glowered out at the scenery. 

“It’s Victoria,” he admitted.

He needed to talk to someone about it. Why not Web? 

Webster looked up curiously. “What about her?”

“I think I gotta break up with her,” Joe said. “We’re just...too different.”

“Is that so bad?” Webster wondered. “Maybe you can balance each other out.”

“Nah, I think we want different things,” Joe insisted. “I love the girl, but I can’t ask her to give up everything for me, y’know?”

“I can’t say I’m familiar with the situation,” Webster said. “But I understand what you’re saying. Either way you go, one of you will be making a huge sacrifice. What you have to decide is if it’s worth it.”

Joe heaved another sigh. “I don’t know…”

“I think you have your answer then,” Webster said. 

With that, he started writing again and left Joe to his thoughts. Joe considered that. He wasn’t totally sure about Victoria. If he was, shouldn’t he be willing to sacrifice? But he thought of her sweet smile and the tenderness of her heart, and he felt weak. He was lucky Victoria wanted to be with him, wanted to compromise with him. He had to think about it some more. He needed to decide what he really wanted out of life. But what were the possibilities? They were heading into Germany, but the war was not over yet. 

***

Dear Dick,

Paris is settling down and beginning to feel like the place I left years ago. It’s been fun to take Victoria and Caroline around. Caroline is getting bigger every day it seems, but she’s very healthy. Incredibly, I felt the child kick, and I daresay it made me rather emotional. I feel my cousin is hardly out of her own childhood, and now she is bringing new life into the world. 

It reminds me of my own mother. I wish I could confide this in Caroline, but I feel it isn’t really my story to tell. I’m a key player in it, of course, but obviously my mother’s privacy comes first. Thank you again for your own discretion. 

Seeing Caroline become a mother has also put thoughts of my own future into perspective. After everything I’ve been through, I want very much to live simply. Because of my parentage, I can never really belong in the world my family exists in. I don’t think it’s what I want anyway. I just want a peaceful, quiet place to raise a family and perhaps write a novel. How do you picture your life after the war? I don’t believe we’ve discussed it before. I do hope I am somewhere in your imaginings. You are certainly in mine. 

You are also in my thoughts and prayers. Do take care of yourself. 

Love, 

Marigold

Dick read over Marigold’s words, touched. She said exactly the things he was hoping she would. They were heading in the same direction, with the same goals. It was a relief to him. It was easy to picture Marigold as his wife, at his side. He admired her, respected her, and loved her. 

“What are you smiling about over there?” Nixon teased. 

Dick shook his head. “Nothing. Just something nice Marigold wrote.”

“Oh?” Nix returned, raising a curious eyebrow. 

“Yeah,” Dick said. “I think it’s time to talk about something more serious between us.”

Nix smirked. “Should I say congratulations now or wait until after the ceremony?”

Dick rolled his eyes. 

***

Dear Marigold,

It might sound silly, but I made a promise to myself after D-Day that should I survive the war, I’d find myself somewhere quiet to live out my life in peace. And you are absolutely a part of that picture. You have belonged there since that fateful day in the elevator. 

I’m glad to hear Caroline is doing alright with the baby. I would like to check on Speirs, but it feels like an awkward thing to ask about. So I’m afraid I don’t have any updates on him, though I’m sure he’s in contact with Caroline. 

Germany is surprisingly nice. Maybe it’s the warm weather or the lack of artillery, but we’re enjoying it here. The war should be over soon. So I’m happy to begin planning that future with you if that’s what you want. That obviously includes an offer I’d rather make in person, and we can have that conversation the next time I see you. Hopefully, that won’t be too long. 

I love you and miss you.

Yours, 

Dick

***

Dear Gene,

Bill and Joe are doing alright. They’ll be heading home soon, and selfish as it is, I will miss them terribly. They’re truly the most entertaining patients I’ve ever had, especially Bill. But of course you’re familiar with his personality. 

I hope I’m able to get to Paris soon to be with Caroline. She has asked me to be there to be an advocate for her for something big coming up. Really big. I’m afraid I can’t tell you exactly what it is, as it’s just a bit scandalous. But she’s made some wishes known to me. That sounds ominous, but everything is going well so far.

I hope you’re doing well. With spring’s arrival, there must be a bit of a reprieve if you’re outdoors. Do you have a comfortable place to sleep at least? Lord knows you and your men have earned it. 

As for myself, I’ve applied to a university in Dublin, to attend in the fall (if the war is over, and it looks like it may be soon). I think it’s high time I experienced my Irish heritage and I want more for myself. I love being a nurse, but I want to explore all my options. I haven’t told anyone in the family yet. I’m going to Downton soon and will talk it over with George (he’s home on leave), but I wanted to tell you first. I could use additional hopes for my acceptance. 

Look after yourself. Get some rest. Don’t forget to eat. 

All my love,

Sybbie

Eugene tried not to be dismayed at the news. He wanted Sybbie to do what was best for her, but it dashed his hopes of asking her to come back to Louisiana with him. Not permanently - at least not right away - but to see a bit of his world. The way he had seen hers at Downton Abbey. He supposed it was still possible, but there was no guarantee of when the war would be over and their timeframe depended entirely on that. 

Even if she was able to visit, how could they progress together - if that was even what they were - with her in Dublin and him at home? He tried to picture himself staying in Europe, but he hated the idea. He missed home too much. He did not feel he belonged in Europe, nor did he particularly want to. For the first time, they weren’t on the same page.

***

Dear Sybbie, 

Thanks for all the updates on Guarnere and Toye. We’re all worried about them, and your letters put our minds at ease. I know those two appreciated your help too, and they’ll miss you back in the states. 

It sounds awfully suspicious about Caroline. I trust you though. And she must too if she’s asking you to join her in Paris. 

Good news, I am sleeping in a bed most nights. You’re so sweet to worry about things like that for me. 

I’m proud of you for taking a chance and applying to school. Not a lot of girls have the courage to do that, even if they want to. But you’re spirited enough. I have no doubt you’ll get in. You’re a brilliant nurse, and even if you aren’t accepted, you’ll have a great career ahead of you. 

You should tell your father you applied. I think it’ll make him really happy that you’re interested in Ireland. And you’ll have his hopes in your corner as well. 

I know it’s unlikely, but I hope I’ll get to see you before you go. 

Take care of yourself,

Eugene

***

Dear Caroline,

I’m home again on leave, and I still haven’t confessed my feelings to Kat or to Mother. Do you think me a dreadful coward? I’m beginning to think it of myself. In fairness, Mother hardly lets me alone when I’m at home, so Kat and I barely get time together for me to be able to have any sort of real discussion with her. I have bought a ring, though, and enclosed the catalog I purchased it from for your approval. You have very fine taste, and I trust you. 

How are you doing? The arrival should be soon, right? Spring is fully upon us now - truly a good time for welcoming something new. I hope it all goes smoothly and you come out of it feeling as strong as I know you to be. I’m looking forward to your return to Downton. 

Stay safe.

Your brother, 

George

Caroline rubbed her swollen belly as she read George’s letter, her back aching. Her cousins were around her, Sybbie finally having arrived at last. The baby was due soon. May snuck up on her so quickly, she wondered where the time went. Nerves began to eat at her the closer she got, especially since she still had not told the rest of the family. She took Ron’s words to heart. She would only tell them when she was good and ready. 

She decided also to get the birth over with before telling them. Perhaps they would be charmed by how cute it would be - which she was certain of - and would be more forgiving. It was always harder to be honest to someone’s face, especially a baby’s, and Caroline was banking on that. Plus, she wanted to arrange for George to be with her when she told them. She hoped he would wait on proposing to Kat. The ring he chose was stunning, and she made a mental note to tell him so.

On the morning of May 8, Caroline enjoyed breakfast with Sybbie and Victoria while Marigold went down to get a newspaper. Caroline sipped her tea and hoped there would be some good news at last. 

“Why don’t you just turn on the radio?” Victoria wondered.

“Because it’s ghastly noise,” Caroline said. “Mornings are meant for quietly reading the newspaper like sensible people.”

Victoria laughed and rolled her eyes. Suddenly, Marigold burst into the room, looking winded and completely shell shocked. She’d clearly run all the way up from the lobby. 

“Goodness, Marigold, what is it?” Sybbie asked. 

“The war is over,” Marigold blurted out, holding out the day’s newspaper. 

They all saw the VE-Day headline, though they couldn’t quite believe it. After all these years at war, it had become the new normal. The send offs, the letters, the telegrams, the sleepless nights. It was all over. No more fighting. No more death. No more. 

“Good God in heaven,” Caroline breathed out. “Can it really be true?”

“It’s right there in black and white,” Marigold said, staring at the paper as if it were a bomb that might take her hand off any second. 

They all feared this was a dream they might wake up from. Slowly, Sybbie rose from her chair, tears filling her eyes. She gazed at each of her cousins, who she truly regarded more as sisters now, and she reached for their hands. She took hold of Caroline’s, Caroline took hold of Victoria’s, Victoria took Marigold’s, and then Marigold and Sybbie completed the circle. 

“We made it, girls,” Sybbie said. “And so did our men.”

Caroline blinked and a tear rolled down her cheek. She took a deep breath and blinked the rest away. 

“What are we blubbering about?” she joked. “This calls for a celebration! We should be ordering champagne not crying like babies!”

They all laughed and agreed, fighting the lumps in their throats and the mist in their eyes. And they did order champagne. Together, they shared a toast to the end of the war, and the start of their new lives. 

***

Dear Marigold,

I’ve talked things over with Colonel Sink, and he’s agreed to have you all join us in Zell am Zee, Austria. Our lodgings will suit you well, I think. Plus, I know Ron is anxious to be present when Caroline gives birth. Hopefully, it hasn’t already happened. If you can clear it with her doctor to travel, let me know when we can expect you. 

Looking forward to your answer. 

Yours,

Dick

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 2x13 recap

(Aka the one with Shepherd’s real name)

So much going on in this ep! Weller gets his Boss Pants on to stop some terrorist farmers, and then ends up kidnapped by the creepiest terrorist with the most boring name, our very own Shepherd AKA Ellen Briggs. Meanwhile Roman is barely present (sadly), Jane is adorable, Tasha is an awesome friend, Reade is a mess, and Patterson needs to be swaddled in blankets and protected at all costs.

A very delayed and slightly shorter review this week, but lbr I’m gonna have so many thoughts about the Rich ep that it’ll more than make up for it haha.

Lol I was wondering why I had no memory of this opening scene and then I remembered that my crappy livestream was having issues the other day and I didn't see anything before when Shepherd says goodbye to Kurt on the couch. Oh man I can't believe how much I missed? I'm LOVING this young rebel Kurt (we knew he snuck out to see Sarah, but dude he literally punched a guard for it?? And ughhh he's all angsty and has those intense blue eyes and okay legit who is this actor because I am getting young Wentworth Miller vibes from him and it is WORKING FOR ME. Aaaand then Shepherd shows up and ruins my buzz, bc of course she does. Also she is either a really old-looking 30yr old here or a very young looking 50yr old in present day haha. "To really protect people, you need power. This place is the first step in getting it" yeaaaahhhh mm-hmmm this place is totally a Sandstorm recruitment spot. I just know it. And aaaahhhhh that whole scene was a memory that he was recounting to Jane as they approached the school, I’m so happy about it. Also lol remember earlier in the season when like half a scene could go by before you even realised Jane was in the room? That's now happening to Nas instead (literally it seemed like Weller and Jane were alone given how focused they were on each other). Also damn, Archie is so tiny! What a lil munchkin. Also I love how much more positively he responds to things that Jane says vs things that Nas says? I appreciate that subtle difference there writers, thank you

Sigh Reade what is with this endless string of bad decisions? You clearly do not want this woman in your apartment right now, and you weren't planning on getting her number either. Dude. And you missed your daily morning workout with Zapata! Which I, for one, am delighted to learn is a thing that they do. And then awww Patterson calling them 'the three amigos'. She is too cute. I need this team to be together forever okay?? Like for their whole careers and then when they retire they can all go on cruises together and hang out and stuff. But anyway then she shows them the tattoo they'll be following-- some fake Genesis quote (the bible passage, not the band) that some farmer posted about, and when they ask how she found out about it, she hedges and says she doesn't want to bore them with the details. And Reade totally speaks my mind when he asks, "Since when???" haha. And then she says it's ‘too much math’?? Nope, uh-uh, something is wrong here. Patterson never misses an opportunity to get her math on. Is she deliberately being evasive or is she having difficulties with mental calculations etc? Seriously c’mon Tasha and Reade, don't just let that slide. But they head off, both saying 'let's move' at the same time because they're two lame-o’s that are just super lame and I love them

Lol the secretary lady gushing over Weller. And then Jane corrects her that he's the Assistant Director rather than an agent and hmmm who’s gushing now?? Aaaaahhhh Wifey is so proud of her man. Like just genuinely proud and amazed by him and ugh save me. And then hahaa "you both work for the FBI too?"-- *ex-terrorist/unpaid FBI asset and shady NSA agent look at each other*-- "Sure" haha. But wait a sec, is this the same boss guy? He kept that job for twenty years? Nice. And then omg 'Ellen Briggs'. I'm sorry, I think you just named a florist who lives in the suburbs with her husband and four kids and who crochets in her spare time, not a psychotic terrorist leader. I just... Ellen. It’s so... harmless-sounding?? And then the boss guy talks about how this army lady that occasionally came to give talks convinced him to keep one random student and then even paid that student's fees? Like how did that not see weird to him???  And then the moment the three of them leave the friendly reception lady calls Sandstorm??? Geez. It’s like I’ve always said, never trust people who smile too much. All those gleaming teeth gotta be hiding something. Also lol I feel like Nas (and even Jane) didn't really need to be there for that but I appreciate that Weller brought Jane with him at least. lbr Nas probably invited herself along bc being the unwanted third party is kinda her specialty

So now the team has a name to go on, but still don't seem to be having much luck. Damn military firewalls. But wait she was a Major General, and the Deputy Director (seems like the deputies are the important ones in this show) of the Defense Threat Reduction Agency? Is that a thing? I'mma google it. Huh it actually is a thing; the DTRA is "the official Combat Support Agency for countering weapons of mass destruction." So basically she was once part of the jedi order but then turned to the dark side. Well, I guess fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and we all know where hate leads... on a completely unrelated note, though, I am going to have "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" stuck in my head for approximately the next 600 years. Thanks, show. But anyhow totally unsurpirsingly most of the info about Shepherd is redacted or missing so they still don't really know much more than they did before. But they do figure out that she's paying for the care of an old colleague/friend of hers so at least that gives them a place to start looking. And lol for the second time this morning someone has said let's go' and everyone immediately leaves.... except Patterson, who just chills and enjoys the cushy desk chair and climate control in her lab haha. 

Lol Zapata trying to suggest that Reade sees a psychologist. That's actually a really good idea, Reade. Though I will admit your last experience with a psych wasn't a great one...

Weller you recognised that game SO FAST. How old were you even in ‘88? Six? Though apparently this game was a super big deal, like it was a miracle win for them somehow? Idk enough about baseball history but could this game and the Dodgers be an allusion to something that happened with Shepherd/Sandstorm in 88? And then when Jane introduces herself as Remi (which must be weird for her) he says she's not on the Dodgers. Does it actually mean something?? And then after Nas is all "give up he's got dementia" Jane is the one that comes up with an idea, suggesting that Weller talk to him about baseball to maybe get through to him. She also totally unnecessarily touches his arm as she suggests it which I am appreciative of. I am so Jeller-starved that I’ll take whatever I can get lol. And then ughh the way she watches him as he talks to the old man. Nas sees it, she knows what's up... and ugh Jane looks so sad for him when the guy just says the line about Kurt playing for the mets (and that he was supposed to be a national but 'they would never allow that".) She wanted so badly for Weller to get some answers bc she knows how awful it is to not know something so huge about your life and ughhhhh my babies

So the team has reunited and Jeller are up to speed about the farmer with the plans for a big kaboom. And then suddenly they find him with facial recognition... in their own building. And loolll I love that the whole team immediately starts running-- except for Patterson, who is like "Running? Nah thanks. You guys got this" haha. Also seriously like did the team take the stairs? Or did they just sprint into the elevator and then all stand there awkwardly shuffling their feet while the elevator took them to the correct floor? Because this is a detail that is very important to me and I must know it. And then they catch the guy who is *gasp* an informant, but my main interest is that the team managed to gain two random agents on the way?? Like how did they get them? Were they in the elevator and just ran out with the crowd?? "Hey guys what's going on oh okay we’re running now??". And then wtf this dude is working for them??? Oh wait, no, he's working for Mr DoucheyFace, who is literally having him entrap private citizens, which both Weller and myself are pretty sure is a no-no. And which Weller yells at him about (mysteriously suddenly sans jacket) and takes over because he is the MAN IN CHARGE. And I dig it. 

So anyway aaaahhhh Jane/Roman is everything and ugh Roman is having confusing ~feels~ about Shepherd and I don’t like it. And come on lbr they would totally give the files on Shepherd to Roman. They need to know what he remembers and that would be one of the best ways to do it. But ugh of course Jane is scared that he's gonna remember the Zipping and ugh my babies

Speaking of babies, ugh Patterson is still not looking good (health-wise, not appearance-wise, because she always looks gorgeous). The now-jacketed Weller is picking up on it too, and ugh he's concerned about her and also knows she's keeping something from him. And then bam she drops the bomb that she used the info from Omaha and omg Weller's face is like sTOP BREAKING THE RULES EVERYBODY and then omg he strides angrily back to where Doucheyface is and the guy calls him 'sir' which pleases me bc he da boss and also bc the team doesn't have to call him sir bc they’re his squad hehe. And then Weller is really doing his taking charge thing (update: the jacket is gone again lol) and oooooh he's let the douche convince him to send the informant guy out into the field against his better judgement and oooohhhh he's gonna regret thiiiiisssss. Aaaaaand yep he does, bc psycho farmer lady sees right through the informant’s shit (never try to fool a pissed off woman) and dude they couldn’t have given him a vest?? I have a hard time believing Weller allowed him out there without a vest. And oooh now we’re having a bike chase kinda reminiscent of 2x01 while RUDE FARMER PEOPLE ARE SHOOTING AT MY BABIES. But natch our super squad take care of them, though meanwhile doucheyface ruins Weller’s mojo and the crazy lady gets away. Bummer.

So Nas clearly has no problem giving Roman all Shepherd’s files, contrary to what Jane was saying. And I love this spinning camera effect that captures Roman's confusing feelings as he looks at the photos and ugh he wants to know if Briggs is his last name too (thank god it’s not) and why she didn't legally adopt them and then ughhh he has 'warm' feelings towards the pictures of Shepherd and maybe THIS is what Jane was afraid of? Him forming an attachment to Shepherd?? But in any case ugh I just wanna hug my baby boy

Mmmm more Shouty Boss Weller. I love when he shouts at people I don't like. And I love that he has the power to fire this guy. But man things don't look great, the team can't find the lady anywhere..... and then their system reports a robbery which proves that Crazy farmer lady has a whole ton of explosive stuff (not a literal tonne. But a lot. idk) to blow something sky high. And so naturally Jeller, the A team and the perfect combination of Strong Trustworthy Justice Man and Caring Compassionate Understanding Lady, are the ones to go talk to the farmer guy they captured to try and learn what the target is. I mean who wouldn't want to spill their guts to these two. I'd say anything just in the hope that they’d think well of me. And clearly Farmer Joe feels the same, because he tells them where the target is, and they all race there-- Weller naturally again choosing Jane to stick with him. #Lifepartners. But then Patterson radios in--- a Big Truck is racing towards the building and is almost certainly carrying the explosives. So what does Weller do? Why, stand in the middle of the road, of course! Because you know he just hasn't been almost-killed in an explosion for like a couple of days and the poor dude's going through withrdawals. But of course he’s such a badass that even a speeding truck ain't gonna dare mess with him, so it ends up crashing instead (okay, the bullets he expertly put into its tyres might have had something to do with that) but tbh rn all I can think about is Jane watching this situation??? Like she must be so scared for Weller standing there unprotected (no one can convince me she wasn't going to try and tackle him out of the way if the truck had gotten any closer) but she would also trust in his judgement and his abilities and let's not lie here, she totally found that whole moment as hot as we did. But anyway fantasies aside, crazy lady jumps out of the truck with a detonator in hand and is immediately surrounded by the team. And then ugh everything that both Jane and Weller say to her reflects so much of the FBI vs Sandstorm/ good vs bad theme of this season and ughhh he walks right up to her and takes the detonator from her hand and dude you're not making it easy for me to focus on the Serious Life-Threatening Business rn bc I'm already back to thinking about how much Jane probably wants to shove you against a wall rn and gawd this is just a lot for me to handle rn

Oh but here's a proverbial bucket of cold water, in the form of Nas, coming into Weller's office and instantly killing the mood. Geez, lady, you're like that visitor that overstays their welcome and misses all the cues to leave. She’s also again playing the unwanted stand-in for Jane in this scene (legit this would have been a great scene between Jeller but instead is completely uninteresting and feels insincere, despite it being meant to be deep). Also she mentions something about Sandstorm and personal stuff causing him to lose sight of the ‘bigger picture’ and I am so sure that this is foreshadowing for when she's revealed to be some kind of sneaky traitor who was using them this whole time for her own shady gains. It's coming, I know it.

Ah, thankfully here's a much better duo. Weller is making Patterson stop using Omaha because using it is crossing the line into Bad Guy Zone and compromising themselves. And she gives in, but has a last bomb to drop-- Mayfair had spoken to the old guy in the nursing home back when he was in charge of the DC office, suggesting Weller be promoted/transferred to DC the year before. But Shepherd blocked it, ensuring that Weller was still with the NYO when Jane was found. Ooooooohhhh Weller, how deep in this web are you tangled? And why?? Dramaaaaa. Also as a sidenote, Patterson's voice has sounded off throughout this entire episode and I am so interested to know if Ashley just like has a cold atm or if she's deliberately altering her pitch as a subtle sign that ~something is amiss~. I mean she's a voice actor so this is literally her jam...

Naw and another pair that I enjoy so much more than any that includes Nas! Tasha gives Reade some gentle ribbing about their gym date, but in true Zapata fashion, is genuinely caring beneath the jokey exterior. And she tries to support him with his possible 'new relationship' and tells him not to get in his own way. Which we all know he's not going to listen to bc he's Reade and he's a freakin disaster

Weller in the nursing home is actually super cute. And then he's trying to get info from the old guy about why Shepherd (I can’t call her Ellen, it's too weird) wanted him to stay in NYC. And the guy says "You're the face of the franchise, her star player", but okay WHY. Why is he their Chosen One???? And what the hell is the Truman Protocol?? Is it a nod to the movie The Truman Show, where the guy has been watched his whole life, playing a role his whole life, without even knowing?? And then shit, they go to his room to talk privately (bad idea) and BAM a wild Shepherd appears?? Plus a dude who must be wearing super bulky coat to have been able to sneak that GIANT GUN into a nursing home???

Aaaaaahhhh Jane shows up at Roman's cell and is taking about what they'll have for dinner and it sounds like they do this all the time which is THE CUTEST THING. But then Roman's too focused on Shepherd and her light terrorism so it kinda puts a dampener on things. Just like when he questions her about whether she's being used by the FBI, and ughhhh I love that she is so sure when she says she helps them because she wants to (because they're her faaaamily ughh). But ugh I hope his anti-FBI-ness and insistence that they control her doesn't make her waver in her belief of her place in the team.... though lbr she already made her choice about where her loyalties lie and I can't see her ever turning away from the team. Not from them, and definitely not from Weller. Maybe not even if Roman's life depended on it, though I really hope we never have to find out for sure.

Sigh okay I have to say I just really don't like Nikki. They've given us nothing likable about her, and instead have her not only insult Reade's good qualities but also encourage his bad ones. He was already starting to spiral and she's just puling him down faster and ughhhh it’s frustatinggggg

And okay I have such conflicting feelings about Oliver. On one hand he's a bit of a cutie pie and he's genuinely sweet to Jane (ngl I 'aawwwed' a lil bit at the handholding scene), but on the other hand I know that he would just never be able to be able to accept Jane's true self and her past in the way that Weller does, so it's clear they have no real future. Plus, given my ridiculous prejudice against my own accent (and the cousin-accent of New Zealanders) every time he speaks it legit drives me insaaaane. I just need him to not talk, ever. Sigh but anyhow definite points to him for making Jane smile. Shame that his comeback basically means he's probably gonna die or at least meet with some unpleasant circumstances in the near future....

Naw Zapata showing up in Patterson's lab to make sure she's okay and that she's eating and ughhhhhh Tasha Zapata is SUCH A GOOD FRIEND. And ugh I love her so much for trying, even though it's only making Patterson flip out more. And seriously the voice thing is getting even more obvious and actually I just noticed Patterson also looks like she's wearing less eye makeup than usual and I feel like this is about to--- aaaaaaand she's on the floor. Noooooo. Sigh my baby, I hate seeing bad things happening to youuuu

And nooo my other baby. I'm sorry Weller honey I actually kinda forgot that Shepherd had you lol. And uuhhhh wtf is this 'powerful medicine' she used to get the old demented guy lucid? Bc lbr lady if you have something that can reverse Alzheimers, then seriously give up on the Sandstorm crusade and just patent that shit, you'll be a billionaire in no time! But anyhows Shepherd is being her usual super creepy self and is gushing over Weller, who is apparently 'saving the country' with her. Somehow. And so we know that she and Remi came up with the tattoo plan together, but she was the one that involved Weller in it. And she seems to fully expect that he'll help 'when the time comes' which definitely indicates that she knows something that we don’t. And wooooowwww she's kneeling in front of him legit stroking his thighs and GAWD WOMAN YOU CREEP ME OUT. Why must she be SO STROKEY all the time??? And then she cuddles with the old dude (who she apparently cared about) while she stabs him in the chest, before telling Weller that he'll have no choice but to join her, and that in another life, they could have been family. WHAT. THE. FUCK. Does she mean literally, like she was somehow connected to someone in his family-- ie, had been with his dad or something? Or is she being more poetic?? I literally cannot get a read on her, mostly bc she's all over the freakin place!!! She's a mess. But ugh anyhow Weller's gonna cut himself free soon and ugh I just wanna know who he calls first bc I obviously want for him to call Jane bc she's his ~person~ and ugh I need her to race to where he is and be so relieved when he's okay and ugh I just need some more Jeller huggin' alright???

Anyway sorry for the short(er) review-- tbh I really enjoyed this ep as I was watching it live, but I realised later that a big part of the enjoyment was the anticipation for another great Jeller moment... which never happened. I mean I get why, bc the ep had to reintroduce Oliver and also have Weller abducted, so there was hardly a chance to end this ep with another awesome Jeller moment like we got last time. But STILL. We all know I rate ep quality by the quality of the Jeller it contains, so to me this ended up just being a ‘good’ ep rather than an amazing one. But hey, Rich makes any ep and instant fave, so bring on ep 14!!!