#anyway. you can kinda think through their discography and references to place and what life is like there

[faithfromanewperspective]

Omg what is 5sos city?

the city with the brightest lights

[smellycinnamonthundahfudge]

fuck it. have the five page essay-ish thing i wrote on hoax.

it's so underrated and contains so many references to taylor's one great true love... that she lost.

(but there's also a bit about what the album cover means since i just think it adds to the evidence of something)

Let me take you on a journey, more specifically, the journey taylor’s music brought me to.

But fine for irl context, and disclaimer as well, I’m a new swiftie.

Yes, folklore was the one that really really pulled me in.

I’ve always loved her music, those that I knew of anyways, and she’s always held a special place in my heart and some part of me always knew that I was always going to explore her discography someday… and those days and months of exploring aforementioned music finally arrived.

So, for context, I’ll say that I mostly loved her bops. I always knew and loved her as that teenage girl feeling of wanderlust, and just wonder, and sweetness, and love…

That was what taylor was to me, the feeling of love.

It’s only when I very quite recently really really grew up and at the same time, taylor’s most popular music at the time, folklore, also happened to be really grown up, is when I realized and found out that taylor always had this depth to her.

So, for me, debut to speak now and half of red will always have that child-like wanderstruck look of awe and love vibe and feeling to me, cause nostalgia, it’s what I spent my life thinking of it and her as.

Also it’s been some time since I fully listened to those albums, so the journey/throughline narrative that I see from taylor’s discography is

Debut – young kid figuring it all out, emotional but sweet

Fearless – growth, ambition, dreams, complexity of wanting someone you know you’re not supposed to

Speak now – cinematic movie like quality of storytelling, these are fantasies, epics, novels all on their own, legend

Red – reckless abandon, intense extreme adult love, and also growth

1989 – true love, actual adulthood, scandal, gossip, hiding, protecting what’s important, dwindling mercurial highs

Rep - …

One thing that I started to notice only on 1989 and then it looked to be the case for the ff albums too, is that the latter half of one album oft bleeds onto the next one

So like the sound of I know places and even kinda wonderland to some extent, is very similar to reputation’s sound.

Then idk, new year’s day being a really sweet love song transitioning into lover

And then it’s nice to have a friend’s simple acoustic nostalgia & daylight’s nature imagery transitioning into folklore

And theeenn I’m betting the lakes as a positive song is a foreshadowing for the more softer positive outlook evermore is going to have, compared to folklore at least

But I honestly believe that if you look at the albums themselves, debut to speak now and red all seem to be about fleeting romances that pass and go

But 1989, that’s when things start to get real, and I believe, that’s when taylor really starts to get her muse…

Cause if you look at from 1989 to folklore evermore heck even to the rerelease of fearless and red…

These songs seem to be stemming from one relationship

A relationship that’s secret, that’s fragile and delicate, and complicated and complex

And correct me if I’m wrong, but…

Is king of my heart the first time taylor ever used the term, the one???

The one real thing you’ve ever known?? All too well

One touch you are in love??? One step one night

Point is, I think starting from 1989, most of the songs taylor wrote and sung about could all be attributed to just one person.

A tumultuous complex but nevertheless real and true love.

And I bring up the one connection because the one clearly parallels king of my heart

And all at once, YOU ARE THE ONE I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR

why would taylor write about losing someone that she thought she was the one if the person you think it’s about is still supposedly with her when she wrote it?

And finally, in taylor’s announcement of folklore, she wrote about an exiled man walking the bluffs of a land that isn’t his own, wondering how it all went so terribly, terribly wrong.

And in its music video, you get the same imagery?

…

…

…

You know where, … you… also… get… the same… exact… imagery…?

The folklore album cover.

Where it’s taylor, walking, in the middle, so small in the grand vast bluffs of a land that wasn’t her own.

In every single music video for every folklore song, the only ONE, THE ONLY ONE, where you get the same imagery, the same color palette as the album cover, is exile.

Which is about someone, a man walking the bluffs of a land that isn’t his own.

So if taylor is the man, then she’s

I can see you standing, honey

With his arms around your body

Guess who she has a close relationship with, who betrayed her, who got married to someone else?

*regina george anger screaming*

Me is a breakup song.

Taylor rereleasing red second has so much more weight to it now.

“In the land of heartbreak, moments of strength, independence, and devil-may-care rebellion are intricately woven together with grief, paralyzing vulnerability and hopelessness.”

moments of strength, independence, and devil-may-care rebellion – me, I PROMISE THAT YOU’LL NEVER FIND ANOTHER LIKE ME.

WATCH MISS AMERICANA AND I DARE YOU TO NOT SEE ME AS A SPITEFUL/VINDICTIVE/REBELLIOUS BREAK UP SONG

grief, paralyzing vulnerability and hopelessness – FOLKLORE.

Then I guess, fine… we’ll get to why hoax is so fucking meaningful yet you don’t understand why it is.

Yes, my only one.

Smoking gun.

I saw someone call this a reference to the fire and ash in mtr, but I also think of this as someone being your one weakness…

Think about it like this, in reputation

And what if the one person who kept you alive through all that

Betrayed you too.

Taylor talks so deeply and passionately over how much this person matters, they were her smoking gun.

Because they were what kept her going through the death of her reputation.

When no one trusted her that one person did.

They were her smoking gun.

My eclipsed sun.

Lover ended with daylight.

Taylor called reputation as night time.

And now what once was daylight has now been eclipsed over, by betrayal grief sadness desolation.

(darling this was just as hard as when they pulled me apart, folklore is as dark as rep)

Winless fight – ma & thp, fight that someday we’re gonna win.

They or she didn’t.

Frozen ground brings me back to holy ground and to doht, my love had been frozen

The imagery of hoax’s lv, is of a cliffside overlooking an ocean

Which brings me back to gorgeous, of OCEAN blue eyes looking in mine, I feel like I might sink and drown and die

Screaming, similar to mtr’s I still talk to you when I’m screaming at the sky

(sidenote might not related to taylor references, but that line gives me hopelessness give me a reason to live vibes, and what with gorgeous’ line of sink and drown and die and this is me trying’s Pulled the car off the road to the lookout Could've followed my fears all the way down…

Anw… the sidenote is cause that feeling of hopelessness just really resonates with me personally, kind of the type screaming at the universe, at whatever’s out there why… sigh…)

Faithless love – false god

Hoax – illicit afairs

Blue… rep (delicate)

Best laid plan – dbatc, paper cut stings from our paper thin plans

Sleight of hand???

Five whole minutes pack us up leave me with it???

Could barren land also be bluffs of a land that isn’t his own?? Idk… *shruggie*

Ash from your fire mtr

New york, DBATC, 1989, false god, cornelia street

Hero died, remember when I said I’d die for you? False god

What’s the movie for, exile, I think I’ve seen this film before

You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart

Like I said, reputation… who was her saving grace/smoking gun from all that

THEY WERE THE ONE, THE ONLY ONE, TAYLOR HAD WHEN SHE WAS PULLED APART

SO THEY KNEW, THEY KNEW HOW MUCH IT HURT HER

BUT THEY BETRAYED HER ANYWAYS.

Password let you in the door, I knew you’d come back to me, front porch light cardigan

What you did was just as dark, just as hard

Why wouldn’t it be?

They were the one she had throughout all that turmoil… yet they betrayed her too…

Kingdom come undone – komh, we rule the kingdome inside my room

Beaten my heart – KOMH, dbatc

The feeling of thinking you found the one, the one you’re going to spend the rest of your life with… the one you would throw away all of this for…

Don’t want no other shade of blue but you, no other sadness in the world would do

You don’t want anyone else but them if they were the one you were going to throw it all away for…

You don’t wanna say goodbye…

You just wanna keep feeling the pain, the love, the conflict that you had with them…

You don’t wanna say goodbye

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

My personal connection with Taylor’s discography, part seven: Cowboy Like Me

Basically this is just a series I’m doing where I write down my feelings on what each of the Taylor songs means to me personally on a line to line basis both for my own sake to have it somewhere and for anyone who wants to know anything further about me.

So with that in mind, let’s get started.

Cowboy Like Me

One of my favourite things about this song is that despite Taylor writing it as a love song and confirming as such by adding it to the ‘forever is the sweetest con’ playlist, the lyrics can just as easily be referring to a breakup. And to be honest, I thought it was a breakup song the first time I heard it. And though I’ve now realised that wasn’t the intention and the song’s connection to Ready For It makes that all the clearer, I still relate it to the platonic breakup between me and a now ex friend. In short, while I cannot obviously know for sure, it has always felt like they moved on from this friendship without a second thought while I am still stuck here missing it some days. Likewise, while I logically know how it all fell apart and I can see I wore rose-coloured glasses for a lot of it and so on, in the decade this friendship went on for, it really did feel like I had met a twin flame and am still kind of in shock about how it all went down.

And the tennis court was covered up with some tent-like thing

In general, I love this line as an opener because it makes it seem like you’re in the middle of the story. And like that feels significant to me because 1. when you tell others about someone and/or your past, you are effectively telling a story and 2. it gives the impression that you were out being perfectly fine living your life without this person but indicates that this person will change you. And to me that’s how it feels when anyone significant comes into your life. Like typically you are not born with them already there, they come along later, typically when you’re least expecting them and are just going about your everyday life.

Anyway, for me personally, I love the idea of starting with a story because when I talk about the person I relate this song to, I always start with how they actually gave me one of the worst first impressions I’ve ever had. On the first day of seventh grade, I started with band and after introducing themselves, they immediately tripped over the drum kit. Me, being the judgmental person I was at the time, shook my head and internally went ‘god what an idiot’ and walked away, expecting to never speak to them again.

And you asked me to dance but I said, "dancing is a dangerous game"

A year and a half later, we were still strangers. He was however, a friend of the boy I started crushing on on my first day of seventh grade and didn’t get over for two years. In eighth grade, I tried out and joined the SRC in part because said crush did. As part of that, we had to organise the school dances. At the time, I had this plan to ask my crush out at the dance, but when the time came along, the other SRC representative and my now ex friend then stranger tried to stop me. At the time I just assumed it was because my crush was gonna say no, but that I’d rather try and hear it from them than not.... it turns out the others were trying to stop me because my crush had asked out his crush the same night and were currently making out with dancing on the dancefloor. Being the stereotypical teenage girl I was, I cried over it (even though looking back there was like literally 0 reason to believe this dude would ever like me or not have a partner lmaaao). In an attempt to make me feel better, this stranger now ex friend asked me to dance. I declined, cleaning myself up and lied that it was fine and it wasn’t safe to because I ‘had two left feet’ anyway so things turned out for the best. That night was never brought up again and I didn’t see the now ex friend for another year.

Oh, I thought this is gonna be one of those things

In ninth grade, me and my ex friend were put into the same class. In said class, the teacher hated them and loved me. This was also very much a class where the more the teacher liked you, the better your grade was, no exceptions. So when this now ex friend took several weeks off after being sick, I offered to catch them up to earn points with the teacher. Given I didn’t think much of the now ex friend at the time, I assumed it would be a hassle. Needless to say, it went so well that we sat together in every class we had together since. It was also the beginning of me no longer being the favourite of the teacher, and for the first time I got a B that semester.

Now I know I'm never gonna love again

I’m someone who believes you never love two people the same way. Like you’re obviously not going to love a partner in the same way as your sister or mother in the same way as your friend. But even between friends, I feel like each friendship takes a life of its own and it’s impossible to love two of them the same way. And I definitely felt that way with this friend. Like there was just something so free and exciting and different about that friendship that I not only didn’t have at the time, but to be honest, don’t feel like I’ve matched since. And while I’m obviously not past the age of making new connections, I don’t feel myself ever feeling that way again.

I've got some tricks up my sleeve. Takes one to know one. You're a cowboy like me

Simply put, the more time I spent with this person, the more alike I realised we were. Additionally, I was someone who played hot and cold or other games at the time, and they feel like the first person to really call me out on that and keep up with me. And for someone as judgmental as I was at the time, that really took me off my feet and was something I needed to grow.

Never wanted love, just a fancy car

Like I said, I never expected to have a friendship, let alone a long lasting one on that first day. All I was thinking about was how to raise my grades and ‘assure’ my perfect future with an amazing job.

Now I'm waiting by the phone like I'm sitting in an airport bar

For those who don’t know, I am someone who, if I find any type of interest in you (or really any topic too), want to spend as much time with you as possible and know everything about you. It’s not a romantic thing and definitely not a sexual one, I just get very invested in things that interest me. It’s kinda like trying to solving a puzzle for me. And like I’ve implied, this friend was the one who piqued my interest at the time. So any chance I got, I spent with them and any time we were chatting on facebook, I’d stop everything to engage and hope they’d keep responding.

You had some tricks up your sleeve

Just like I had my games to keep them interested, they certainly had theirs to keep me involved.

Perched in the dark telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear like it could be love. I could be the way forward only if they pay for it

I’ve mentioned before that I was a kid that tried to please and be liked by everyone, and as part of that, I tried to be a friend to all. But because of that, I now recognise that I didn’t put my all into a lot of my friendships and a lot of other people got hurt because of that while I mostly walked away unscathed.

You're a bandit like me eyes full of stars hustling for the good life

While this friend mostly lived in the present, we had so many talks about the future and how we’d get there and those memories along with being able to see the steps the other took are among my favourite moments with this ex friend.

Never thought I'd meet you here

Like I’ve said, I never intended or thought I’d walk into that classroom that day and make one of the most impactful friendships I’ve had to this day, but life’s funny like that.

It could be love. We could be the way forward and I know I'll pay for it

Though I’ve realised as I’ve grown that I had a lot of friendships where I should have been more present, I’ve always felt that I was the one who cared more about the ones I did put effort into. And in many ways, I knew if this fell apart that I’d be the one who (openly) felt it more.

And the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up.

For however much this ex friend and had in common, we had as many differing traits. We are also both fire signs. These factors led to a place where when we did clash, it was bloody and bruised. The differences also meant that a lot of miscommunication happened. I am someone who as a whole likes a lot of communication and puts more effort into people I’ve know for a while. As a result, I get somewhat anxious if someone starts to put less effort in. They on the other hand, were the type to put a lot of effort to get to know someone and then didn’t feel the need to because they felt the other person should already know that the bond is good. Likewise, I was very open with my negative emotions/issues with the relationship whereas they would rather just spend time away until they felt better, meaning I was either left in the dust not knowing what I did wrong or found out much later. So looking back, honestly it’s a bit of a miracle things lasted as long as they did.

And the old men that I've swindled really did believe I was the one

As said, a lot of people who I’ve hurt over time really did believe my kindness was some indication of forever or a special bond when I didn’t feel the same.

And the ladies lunching have their stories about when you passed through town

I had a lot of warning about this ex friend. Like a lot of people told me they were fickle, quick to lose interest and that I should’ve spared myself earlier because I deserved better.

But that was all before I locked it down

But alas, I am too damn stubborn and convinced myself that I was different and that the fact I was willing to stick through that meant it wouldn’t end up the same.

Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon. With your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con

So now I’m here wondering if, like the Gardens of Babylon, it was even real, and to what degree. Like despite the ‘I love yous’ and talk of ‘forever’, it still ended up like this with them having no interest in fixing things and me looking through old photos and memories, left to wander what I ever meant to them.