#anyways here you go. first posted contribution to bob fandom

[blood-mocha-latte]

its red as bright as wanting

i.

“I just don’t understand the appeal of them.” Babe said from in front of the kitchen counter.

From behind him, Gene huffed a laugh, sounding rather amused. He shifted, moving from the rickety wooden table that makes up both their kitchen island and dining table (and short-term storage), to walk up behind Babe.

Yellow curtains hid the window that rested over the sink that Babe stood over, inspecting the bright red fruit he held between his index finger and thumb up at eye level. Gene reached around him to tug them open with one hand, the other resting absently on Babe’s hip.

“How can you not like strawberries?” He asked, breath ruffling the hair near Babe’s ear before he moved away, kitchen newly lit by the sun that shines through the window, directly into Babe’s eyes. Not used to being so free of ache, Babe just turned around, his back to the sink. “You pretty much are one.” Babe made a face.

He lowered the strawberry to point at Gene with it, the corner of his mouth ticking up into a grin that he attempted to tamp back down.

“I look nothing like a strawberry, you take that back.” He said, trying his best to stay serious. Gene just huffed, shaking his head as he rounded the table again, a gentle smile carving into his mouth like a spell on stone. Fleeting and infinite. “And I didn’t say I didn’t like them, I just said I don’t see the appeal.”

He brought the strawberry back to his face, the small divots of seeds against the bright red of the fruit. It almost made him smile.

It’s the middle of winter, and it should be snowing. It should be freezing, numbing, all-encompassingly frigid.

But Babe’s in Louisiana, just outside of where Gene grew up, just outside of where a flood swallowed all he knew. It’s the middle of winter and it’s warm and if he closed his eyes and thought hard enough, he could think of every happy memory this home had ever held.

Their memories. Built and fostered and cared for, raised from the earth with the bloody hands that killed people and the bloody hands that saved them, to wash their hands clean of it.

For Babe to leave Philadelphia, to leave behind his family and his mother and ol’ Gonorrhoea. To leave behind the cold that settled in his bones and wouldn’t leave, expanding like water turning to ice, splintering everything in its path.

To leave behind the biting loneliness that kept him torn apart.

Dear Doc, Babe had written, three years ago, only a year after they’d left Berlin, left Europe. And a month later, a letter came back, like he’d sung into a cavern and the echo of his voice had come back, haunting and familiar but somehow all encompassingly new.

Dear Edward, Gene had written back, ever the pragmatic. Babe had laughed maybe a little too hard and nearly brained himself on the railing that led up to his apartment, too impatient to wait to get upstairs to read the slanted, messy handwriting.

Babe blinked back to the present, as easily as falling asleep but inversely. Too entirely caught up in the dips of the berry and Gene moving around gracefully, like water or silks, through their kitchen, gathering jars and fruits and bread.

He watched Gene, watched him move, watched the profile of his relaxed face, the curve of his lips, the wedge of his nose.

Watched as he turned away from Babe entirely, leaning out of the kitchen and into the equally small and cluttered hall that led out of the house.

The warmth flooded through his chest the same way it always did, like taking a warm shower for the first time in years. Like laughing after a terrible night.

Thank god you wrote back. He thought, not for the first time, but a mantra. Thought daily, said daily; whispered like a prayer into every inch of Gene’s skin he can ever reach. Thank god you decided to find your way back to me.

----

(read the rest on ao3)

((tagging @malarkgirlypop as per request <3))

[johannesviii]

This is a long post about Shaman King I started to write ages ago and I don’t have a good title for it

Let me tell you about Shaman King for a few minutes, okay. Because the new anime adaptation is coming in like 3 months and I’m still not ready for it. Also I started to write this post 5 years ago just because I re-read the whole thing at the time and it’s been in my drafts since then. Oops

But yeah Shaman King was the very first fandom I got into when I first had a real internet access, around 2003-2004. I was around fifteen. The manga was still going. And in retrospect, it was full of problems. Among other things:

Not enough female characters & questionable choices for most of the ones who actually have a part to play in the plot

A black character drawn with big lips (see above), and I REALLY HOPE this is gonna get fixed in the new anime ; I mean even the author stopped drawing him like that a few years ago when he did the “remix tracks” extra chapters so come on please

An imaginary native american tribe who, while pretty cool, is still imagined by a Japanese dude in 1999 soooo yeah there’s some rough corners here and there (edit: got some anon hate about that but I'm sorry, "ancient aliens" tropes always make me uncomfortable)

An art quality which gets worse and worse over time due to deadline pressures and an increasingly exhausted author

Was stopped before it could reach its natural conclusion (the author drew an actual ending years later and tbh it’s great so I’m putting this very low on the list)

So yeah. Manga from 1999. Problematic. Aged badly. It happens.

BUT.

In retrospect, most of it is such a kick in the metaphorical butt of shonen manga as a whole I can’t believe it was competing against Naruto and One Piece at some point?? Like

It’s a shonen so it plays the "dramatic and sudden power jump” game, but it uses it to reach a surprising conclusion (in the “new” ending I mean)

Most of the characters are “shamans” which means they can see ghosts and spirits, and they use them to fight, to work, or to help other people. This is a manga in which you’re gonna see a Russian shaman channeling a Vodyanoy spirit into a drum to create a torrential flood. You don’t see that in every manga

It’s stated right away that no shaman can be truely, irredeemably bad, because only good-natured people can see ghosts and spirits.

So, no matter how bad a villain may be, they must have had a good nature once even if they look like a complete bastard at the moment.

How far is the author willing to go with that concept? Pretty far

Even without talking about the main villain and how the story ends because, duh, spoilers... Like

My favorite character, who gets a full redemption arc later, cuts someone open in his first chapter

He’s one of the good guys 10 volumes later

Speaking of which the amount of gore in this manga has to be seen to be believed, Jump would never let this happen nowadays

If you’re wondering why this is in the “positive” (......?) list it’s because I was 14/15 and all kids that age crave blood and angst

The main character, Yoh, pictured above, is very laid-back, and I mean very. He listens to the in-world equivalent of Bob Marley and constantly wears big headphones. Also he wears sandals, and sometimes there’s a weed leaf drawn on his t-shirt

His parents arranged a mariage between him and a girl shaman even though they’re still teenagers, so this would have potential for High Drama - but surprisingly enough it turns out they like each other and after that he just goes around saying “this is my future wife” and she’s like “hello if you touch him I’m going to end you”

It sounds weird and it......... is, tbh, but it’s also refreshing among all the “ugh, girls, yuck” tropes that nearly all shonen mangas used to have at the time

Yoh’s main goal in life is to live with minimal effort

When his grandfather tells him he must train to participate in a shaman tournament which happens every 500 years, because the winner gets a wish granted by the Great Spirit, he decides his wish will be to make everybody’s life easy so that nobody will ever be forced to work or do shit they don’t want to do to survive anymore

Yoh Asakura is a Millenial icon don’t @ me

Speaking of which

Almost everyone in this series is broke as f█ck

Yoh owns a big house but that’s only because the price was ridiculously low since it’s the most haunted place in Tokyo and nobody else wants to live there. The house is constantly full of other characters (including enemies) who have literally nowhere else to go

The only important character who isn’t broke has money because his family is super rich but he hates all of them because they’re all bastards so it’s super awkward

Another character bought a really cool motorbike but he’s going to be in debt for the next 40 years

Also he’s a hobo

And also bi

What I’m trying to say is: relatable

Also the tournament is held by an imaginary Native American tribe. They’re also broke. All of them. The two judges who are in charge of the main characters live in a cramped appartment and often try to sell souvenirs in the street to pay the rent

I know that’s hashtag problematic but I still love them I can’t help it

Just like in most shonen mangas the hero seems to amass a big collection of Friends but since everyone is a weirdo in a way or another and comes from all over the world it looks even funnier

At some point during the tournament, the main characters have to form small groups of three in order to participate to the next part. Yoh’s team is one of the strongest teams among the ones we’ve met at this point, and is composed of 1) Yoh, a laid-back sleepy kid wearing toilet sandals 2) the aforementioned bi hobo who’s sad because his current crush is in a rival team, and 3) a thirty-something tatooed guy with no legs and an IV drip and who looks like he hasn’t slept since 1997

Oh and they all wear adds for a bath house

Because remember: everyone’s f█cking broke

Spoilers for the mid-point of the manga but I need to talk about it because it encapsulates everything I used to love in it

You’ve been warned

So

At some point the main character, Yoh, is asked to choose between staying in the tournament or resurrect his rival

This is framed as some kind of very heavy, very huge dilemma. Like oh no what will he do. Will he give up his dreams and hopes. Will You Push The Button(tm)

So the choice is presented to him

In a very dramatic way

And he immediately goes “there’s a way to save him?? YES PLEASE”

He doesn’t hesitate a single second and drops the tournament in a heartbeat to save the guy

This scene greatly contributed to make me a better person I’m not even joking at all

I love Yoh

So anyway I don’t have a proper conclusion for this

Shaman King is very flawed and its flaws need to be acknowledged to fully appreciate all the good things in it, and the “old” fandom from more than 15 years ago was a very good formative experience for me because the forum I was on (which was nuked from the face of the internet by a hacker “looking for training grounds” (his words not mine, he posted it on our frontpage a full week before he did it) in 2005, rip) was full of people who were really into criticising every little aspect of the manga but still loved it dearly

And I think that’s a healthy way to enjoy things and I think we should bring this back

Anyway

Shaman King extremely flawed but full of good things

I still can’t believe it’s back

Johannes out

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Alright. One last time. A list of stuff from Supergirl episodes 6x19 and 6x20, “The Last Gauntlet” and “Kara”

Let’s go.

SPOILERS! 

Okay I have to start this list off with a disclaimer because usually, these posts are spaces for me to share positive reactions to the episodes, since the fandom tends to be overly negative and full of bad-faith takes on...everything. And I hate contributing to their yelling. 

But this is a situation where...the list will get complain-y. XD

Like, I’ll be real. I was all set to just coast through these final episodes on good vibes, not caring about the weird plot turns that would come...

But then everything changed with the Fire Nation Attacked 6x18 aired.

It was a...really awful episode, actually. And soured my perception of the finale as a result.

Still! I wanted to give SG the benefit of the doubt, see where the chips fell...

And there was...some good chip-falling!

...But also a whole lotta like. Quite questionable chip-falling.

TL;DR, if you would prefer to leave the show with mostly positive feelings, it might be best to skip to the end of this post...or skip the post entirely. 

Like, I have good things to say!

...But I’m also gonna complain. XD

Okay, enough stalling. Here we go!

(Oh, also, apologies in advance if I don’t hit everything/misremember something/misquote etc. I don’t wanna go back and watch both episodes and I tried to keep track of my thoughts as I went but. *shrug*)

So right off the bat, they remind us about the Totems in the recap (I think) and Mxy’s like, ‘they were scattered all over the known universe!’

But in fact, they were scatted all over...Earth. And mostly Europe?

I realize, for budgetary reasons, they had to be in locations on Earth. But why not make that a Thing? Why not say they were being hidden on a ‘backwater planet’ (Black Mercy!Alura’s words, not mine! XD) or something?

Also feels extremely weird that the Super Friends can just go in and take these artifacts? Reminds me of the Not Great medallion stuff from the Acrata backstory.

Anyways. 

Love a Fort Rozz and Omegahedron mention! :D Good!

Hate the way William was just a covered corpse on the floor and no one seemed to care! BAD.

All of the William stuff was extremely bad.

Peak cringe: his funeral, where we didn’t really see...any of his family, or friends. It was just all the Super Friends, in a weirdly-shot scene, with an odd music selection and copious amounts of soft focus.

It was two seconds long, everything felt perfunctory, Mon-El and Winn didn’t even KNOW him and were there to just support Kara, I guess, but none of that was articulated because there was no time for it.

(Like, the last time Winn saw Kara and Will, Kara was tentatively considering dating him. The fact that there was no, ‘hey, Kara, how do you feel? Are you okay?’ was just. Ugh.)

Hated every moment of it.

It felt shallow and tacked-on and I’m gonna SAVE MY WILLIAM RANT for later. 

Okay, back to the beginning-ish of the episode, I did like the conversation between Lena and Andrea when she first appears, it felt like something that should’ve come earlier in the season, and perhaps taken place between Lena and Kara.

Like, this was really all you needed, back in one of those earlier episodes where Lena is suddenly the Voice of Reason for Kara: “I’ve done worse, rationalized more.”

Instead, they spent most of the season couching it in Lena’s renewed mom issues.

Not great, Bob!

A thing I liked: Kara’s “It’s my job to keep my family safe.”

A core issue! (That was poorly articulated throughout these episodes and arguably this season but I’ll GET TO MY RANTS IN A BIT. XD)

Nyxly’s scenes with Esme were fun and I laughed at her story being so decidedly PG-13, like. We don’t mention throat-slitting to five year olds, Nyxly! 

The location for the Prague stuff was pretty!

But HOO BOY THE KARA AND ALEX CONFLICT. MMMMMMM. Add it to the rant pile.

The whole ‘we’ll harness the power of the sun’ plot reminded me of several things!

Late 90s/early 2000s Sunny D commercials! “UNLEASH THE POWER OF THE SUN!”

Some imagery from All-Star Superman and Supergirl Rebirth wherein the Kryptonians literally merge with the sun/sunlight.

Here’s Supergirl one, which is an homage to the All-Star image. 

I liked the shot of Lex staring into Nxyly’s orb, with the blue light reflecting on his eyes.

And as much as I enjoy seeing Lillian and Lex chew the scenery, I gotta say...here, in your last episodes, devoting what felt like...a lot of time! To the Lex romance drama, and a new Lillian conflict, it was just...

Trying. It was trying. I wanted to be seeing...literally anything else. XD

But hey, props to Nxyly for dumping Lex’s butt.

(Could we not have taken the time allotted to Lillian and Lex and instead done a last-minute Nxyly redemption??? I mean, Lena got last-minute mom closure! Certainly, you could’ve had a heel turn with Nxyly!)

(In an episode full of ‘...wha???’ I would’ve happily accepted that wha!!! XD) 

Alex, on the bridge: Am I crazy for doing this?

Me, audibly, at my TV screen: Yes, Alex. You are. (ANOTHER FOR THE RANT PILE.)

Also Kara, GO. TO. THERAPY. PLEASE.

Loved Lillian’s weaponized heels.

Kara, Lex, and Nyxly with the AllStone fragments:

“They’re empowering themselves by disempowering everyone else!” 

Subtle™ XD

Would like to note: J’onn had complete faith in Kara. “Give Supergirl a chance.”

SO C’MON, ALEX. GEEZ.

Oooh, the rant pile grows deep. XD

The monochrome/selective color effect was really cool!

LOVED Brainy’s Legion Crown, as that’s pulled RIGHT from the Bendis/Sook Legion book!

The score throughout was lovely.

Okay, time to admit that I didn’t actively have fun with the episodes until about 10-15 minutes into the second hour, when they started bringing in the guest stars and old villains.

Like. The thing that got the biggest, genuine reaction from me was Winn’s: EASY PEEZY LEMON SQUEEZY.

OUR BOY!!! OR TOYBOYMAN!

(Also I like to imagine that Nia’s concerned look when the big group of villains shows up is a little bit of: Okay, I have no clue who these guys are, I was still in school while you guys were fighting them?) 

And then Jimmy! “Take ‘em, Sis.”

YEAAAAH OUR BOOOOOYSSSS!!! 

I was even happy to see ol’ Wise-Beard himself, Mon-El!

Because man, it at least felt...fun. And enjoyable to watch.

And how could I forget, ELIZA WITH A SHOTGUN!?!?!!?!?!

Why is she there?!?! How did she know to come?!?! I don’t care, I loved it.

“Maybe in another life I was a Kryptonian.” “Only in the movies.”

Me: They finally did the thing.

“Ah, the two with the good hair.” Lex’s hair envy on full display, nice.

I also unabashedly loved all of the people of National City coming to back up the Super Friends, it reminded me of arguably the first big Super Friends outing, “Worlds Finest”, where National City showed up to protect Supergirl and help Flash stop Silver Banshee and Livewire.

Aaaaaand just when they’re setting up a cool big fight...it’s over! Phantoms show up and just. Remove the threat.

The big threat that was SO DANGEROUS and causing Kara to FLIP OUT for an entire season. Just. Gone. In under a minute.

.....

.....

......

I say again: Hated William’s funeral. Hated. It.

Such a crummy way to handle his character, and his death.

Side note: I understand that they’re necessary for actor comfort/perhaps budget reasons but the green gloves they use for Brainy’s hands remind me of those toy Hulk gloves you can buy.

Another thing I love: CAT GRANT RETURNS?!?!?!?!

Oh, I missed you, Cat. You were an objectively horrible boss, but I appreciate the ‘let’s behave like rational adults’ energy that you bring to this group of adults in need of adultier adults.

I’m actually gonna save the Cat and the job stuff for my...what’s the opposite of a rant? Geeking out pile? Yes. That. XD

We got one single Danvers couch scene, in the span of two 40-minute episodes. Ugh.

And then the wedding, which takes up the back half of the final episode, and it had a lot of good bits but also, weirdly, apparently there were a lot of scenes that were removed from the American broadcast? To my knowledge, nothing huge, but then I haven’t really looked into it. I don’t have a strong desire to do so because it seems most of the clips are coming out of corners of the fandom I’d like to just. Ignore for the rest of time. XD 

We end on a game night as is right and good and lemme tell ya, for as complaint-heavy as this post has been, I will admit to utterly warm, fuzzy feelings of happiness with that last lovely shot of Kara, being introduced to the world as Supergirl and like.

We’ve seen Kara without her glasses, dressed in civilian clothes often! This is not new!

But gosh, it feels new here. It feels wonderful and positive and hopeful and right and I wish more of the finale felt that way.

Like. The endpoints are good. We knew these endpoints were coming.

But the journey has been so...strange. And sometimes actively bad!

So yeah, time for the rant portions, I suppose. XD BRACE YERSELVES.

RANT #1: The Treatment of William

This show has never permanently killed off a character, not even characters played by actors who were leaving the show. James, Maggie, Mon-El, Winn, Sam, Cat--none of them were killed. The door was always left open for them to potentially return. It was a refreshing aspect for one of these CW superhero dramas, where characters are often killed off for the shock factor/drama when the actor wants out.

So to have your one big, permanent death be William, a character and actor who has received an inordinate amount of hatred and harassment for doing his job? No. No thanks. No.

And like. I kind of assumed they would use his death as a bigger springboard--flawed logic but logic nonetheless, by saying: well, we broke up him and Kara, and we don’t really know how to use him effectively...let’s actually make him really important. His death serves as the motivation the Super Friends need to unite and stop the bad guys!

That did not happen here.

No strong emotions from the Super Friends. Alex is more concerned for Esme’s safety than the fact that a man she knew personally died defending her daughter.

I understand they are pressing stakes! And that she’s very worried about Esme!

But this, along with some other stuff that Alex does, just makes her come across as calloused.

All of the Super Friends come across as calloused, since William’s death is not given any room to breathe.

(And like. They never unpacked any feelings from Kara re: the ‘break up’-- if you can even call it that since they barely developed the relationship--or like. Any aspect of her friendship with Will because there was no time. It was fridging but they didn’t even use the fridging well.)

RANT #2: Alex and Kara

So, we know that Alex can be a jerk. That’s fine. In fact, I love that about her. It often makes for interesting character conflicts.

But, wow. The narrative...sure did decide that Alex was justified in all her terrible decisions and behavior, huh?

Like. This didn’t come across as Alex spiraling (which I think is how we’re meant to view it?) mostly she was just behaving like an asshole.

I get that the show really wants us to be invested in Alex as The Mom and her relationship with Esme, but we haven’t really gotten much Mom Alex content?

(Which is why I laughed out loud in a not-fun way @ Eliza’s line about Alex parenting Esme with more wisdom than she ever had like. Did ya pull that from a fanfic on AO3??? I mean maybe, in time, Alex will be a better parent in that she’ll avoid some of the stuff Eliza struggled with but Alex and Kelly have had Esme for...a couple of months? Maybe??? And most of that has been spent like. In Crisis mode!)

We had nice solo-content with Kelly and Esme back in the outset of the season, but nothing like that for Alex? At least that I can recall? Nothing where the two sit down and just bond. Esme is very cute, and the actress did a really nice job with the material, but it kinda felt like they were just. Hoping we’d become attached to her through sheer cuteness alone without doing any work on Alex’s side.

I’m more invested in her relationship with Aunt Kara because they had those scenes about the powers, which is not good when you want to sell Alex’s MOM MODE, ACTIVATE.

So, yeah. Kinda hated the Danvers Sister conflict here. And while in the broadest of strokes, their actions sort of make sense...I don’t know. At the very end of six seasons, to have your characters slide back into old habits doesn’t feel like a response to trauma so much as just. Recycling old plots that they should’ve grown past.

Like! After six years of beating the odds, Alex really doesn’t believe Kara can save her daughter??? SERIOUSLY????

It doesn’t feel authentic. It doesn’t feel like ‘scared mom Alex’ it feels like Alex being an asshole and an obstacle to overcome because the plot demands it.

Also, I was waiting until the very end to see if they’d follow up at all on Kara and Alex being like, ‘we'll get through this and heal together’ and nope! Nope. Nothing there. Alex is like, ‘got your back!’ and then they have no scenes until 6x18 which was just. Full of weird, awful character stuff. 

Speaking of weird, awful character stuff.

RANT #3: Kara

My darling sunshine girl.

So, I’ve actually felt like season six did a fairly decent job of balancing their huge cast while still giving Kara meaningful stuff to do in each episode, and as such, Kara felt way more present and attached to everything that was happening than in past seasons.

Was it perfect? No. But it felt like a decided improvement over season 5.

I also felt like Kara’s very obvious spiral into complete panic/anxiety over unresolved trauma was a pretty solid through-line as the season went on.

I was kind of expecting something similar to season 3, and season 5; the show has a habit of pushing off Kara’s emotional responses to the stress build-up until the last possible second (like the Mon-El stuff and the Lena stuff.) So I was like, ‘ah, yes! They will build this up until Kara has to confront it, and then we will get nice introspection.’

But uhhhh...no. Nope. That...that didn’t happen.

We got like. Fragmented, poorly-articulated ‘lessons’ that Kara had to learn across all the episodes, but it was really unclear because Kara would keep acting all stressed-out and panicked, even though in the previous episode there was supposed positive growth.

Also a lot of times they were lessons she already learned. Not just in this season, but in prior seasons.

I appreciate the show bringing Orlando back, but framing it like Kara, MASTER OF THE HOPE SPEECH, couldn’t figure out that she needed A HOPE SPEECH to inspire the masses, was very dumb!

It was like they were manufacturing flaws for Kara at the very last second. Like. ‘Oh no, we have a character who is too good and noble! Better make her act completely contrary to her firmly entrenched principles she’s had since day one.’

And the most frustrating thing about all of my ranting is that the writers did not need to do this. They had already established good, interesting character conflicts, that were rooted in stuff that has existed for the past six seasons!

Like, all the pieces were in place! Everything was RIGHT THERE!

But they chose to like. Go backwards??? And undo character growth and build new, weird ways for everyone to arrive at their endpoints???

It’s just very odd. IDK what happened.

The thing about season 5, as annoying as it was, was that everyone was painfully in-character all the time.

Here, in the 11th hour, it’s like. Characterization was tossed out the window to make room for some opinions on empowerment. 

(WHICH THEY WERE DEVELOPING WITH MORE NUANCE AND GRACE LIKE, SEVEN EPISODES AGO! WITHOUT NEEDING TO SAY ‘EMPOWERMENT’ FIFTY TIMES!!!!)

Also, I get what they were trying to say here, that everyone can be their own hero, that Kara doesn’t need to shoulder all this responsibility. That’s a good lesson. And they were BUILDING THAT. And BUILDING IT WELL.

But at the end, instead of centering it on Kara’s very real, very obviously established trauma and season-long freak out, they were like, ‘Kara becoming Supergirl was built on a flawed premise!’ or whatever the terrible line was.

Kara became Supergirl to prevent a plane crash. No amount of self-empowerment was going to save the people on that flight.

Like. Don’t get me wrong. It’s a very lovely theme, and I like that Kara can conceivably take a nap now, if she wants, but. They didn’t have to tear down the idea of Supergirl/superheroes to do it.

AND ALSO. They covered this in season one. CAT GRANT was warning Kara about people becoming reliant on Supergirl to save them, and like...yeah! You probably don’t need to be out rescuing cats from trees, Kara. BUT YOU SHOULD MAYBE BE AROUND FOR STUFF LIKE PLANE CRASHES AND MAGICAL IMPS TRYING TO DESTROY THE UNIVERSE?!??!?!?!

It’s just weird! It’s just weird that they had all this set up and decided to use none of it.

But I guess it wouldn’t be a true season of Supergirl if there wasn’t solid, well-paced build up in the front half only to get rushed, weird plot-heavy nonsense in the back half, complete with wild swerves in the 11th hour as they hurry to tie bows on everything. XD

You were doing so well...

RANT #4: She who shall not be named.

Yeah I don’t like what they did here, with her, in this final season.

Basically: I get that they needed to sell the friendship, and I get that they were trying to give Kara another friend/person outside of Alex since they were building up Alex’s relationship with Kelly/plot with Esme. But making her the person to keep Kara in check, when they did not hold her one bit accountable for the nonsense she pulled for an entire season (not to mention she was gonna SKIP TESTIFYING AT LEX’S TRIAL and she was conveniently out of town for the blind spots and biases episode) was just. Unpleasant to sit through.

They never fixed/addressed how one-sided the friendship was, they never had any nice moments of just hanging out and genuinely talking as friends.

(Also I’m gonna say it, I’m gonna SAY IT: She doesn’t have the acting chops to match the Danvers sisters stuff. Like. The reason we love the Danvers sisters is the actors’ ability to sell that relationship; you cannot swap out Alex in the final season with a character who never actually sold the thinly-written friendship. IT DOESN’T. WORK.) 

Add in the nonsense of the real world fandom built up around her and yeah, done talking about this one. XD

RANT #5: Pacing and Focus

There was such nice, deliberate pace at the outset of this season, and a slightly narrower scope that allowed for good character stuff.

And that...fell to the wayside, unfortunately.

Which is to say: Really loved the front half of this season. This back half...mmm.

I agree with what other folks have stated, that it felt like they took all of the trending topics for ‘Supergirl’ on twitter and built their big plot points around them. So these fanservice-y things don’t feel earned or organic, they just feel like the writers saying, ‘well, a lot of people mentioned this on social media, I guess we have to do it now.’ 

Okay, TIME FOR POSITIVES:

Peta Sargent as Nyxly. Honestly I think she’s my favorite SG villain. She was fun like Lex, but didn’t wear out her welcome. She could do the scenery-chewing, but also genuine, emotional beats. And her villain outfit was EXCELLENT. 20/10, wish she’d been redeemed!

KARA AS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF OF CATCO MAGAZINE! YES! YES! YES!

Folks who’ve read my Cool Aunt Kara AU (which, hey, Kara is now a Cool Aunt in canon! Woo!) may know that I’ve kinda always preferred Kara not so much in a reporter role, but more as an editor. Still in journalism/media, but in a way that is distinct/separate from Clark and Lois’ beat.

(...I think that’s in one of the one-shots? If not, then it’s in the notes somewhere, and will eventually happen. Spoilers for that ‘verse, I guess. XD)

Anyways I love this.

I love that she gets to be Kara Danvers, and Kara Zor-El, and Supergirl. I love that she gets to be all the things, in whatever way she wants to be all the things. And I love that the show is basically like: And they lived happily ever after, on this Earth, in this timeline, and continued to have fun adventures.

It’s exactly the ending I wanted for her. :) :) :)

...Just. Wish we’d taken a different journey to this point. XD

Listen. LISTEN. Given how hard they were going on, ‘Kara needs to be held accountable for her actions as Supergirl!’ I was legitimately concerned they were gonna do a Gold-K situation, so the fact that they left everything alone re: superpowers is a solid win, IMO. XD

CAT FREAKIN’ GRANT RETURNS ON GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS GREEN SCREEN TO BERATE KARA ONE LAST TIME!

I’m so happy.

Another thing I love? NOT A SINGLE SHIP SAILED FOR KARA.

Like, do I hate how they treated William, and do I think the writers are cowards for pulling the same garbage that they did with James in season 2? And somehow making it WORSE??? Yes.

Would I have been totally fine with flirty banter with Will, had he not been fridged? Certainly. William was a nice man, and Kara liked him, which was good enough for me.

But if I am being honest, as a woman who has zero desire to date/be involved in a romantic relationship ever, it is refreshing to see a female lead who is also in no rush to date someone, and ends the series happy and surrounded by dear family and friends and is not shamed for it.

No jokes made at her expense. No ‘woe is me, I’ll never find true contentment in life.’ Just. Chill with who she is and where she is in life. Maybe she’ll find love! Maybe she won’t! And either way is fine!

Also I know the fandom is gonna be a nightmare overall as the result of this finale, and I’m certain a lot of folks will claim it’s a complete failure, that the show is trash, the writers suck, etc. etc.

And, to be clear, the finale was a failure, yes. 

They seemed to lose faith in their own lead at the very end of this endeavor. To go from Rovner nearly claiming that Kara’s the most heroic character in the Arrowverse (and she is, in my humble, definitely-totally-unbiased opinion) to being like, ‘The notion of Supergirl is inherently flawed!’ is...certainly a choice.

But I’ll never fully agree with the fandom, that the show as a whole is bad, or that they’ve ruined Kara/Supergirl.

Honestly? Even with all my complaints, and issues with season 6...I love what the show has done for Kara Zor-El. 

I remember coming across those early 2000s comics as a pre-teen/teenager and knowing, but not being able to articulate it just yet, that these books called Supergirl were actually not for me. They were not for girls. They were for the middle-aged men writing and drawing them. 

Like. Images from this run are still used in DC branding. The ‘Supergirl’ icon on the DC Universe app is a Mike Turner drawing. 

THIS IS WHAT THEY POTENTIALLY HAD TO WORK WITH. (CW: partial nudity)

This image was not only a panel in the book but apparently was like. A LIMITED VARIANT COVER. THIS. THIS IMAGE. FOR SUPERGIRL’S BIG TRIUMPANTH RETURN AFTER BEING DEAD FOR 20 YEARS.

But then here comes this show. This show that says, ‘No, no. Look at these other comics. Look at who this character was originally. She’s a young woman who has lost so much, who has gone through such trauma, but she devotes her life to saving others. To doing the right thing because she can. She’s earnest and kind and a bit of a goof. She can also throw people into the sun, if she wants to. But she doesn’t! You’re gonna love her.’

I will always be so very grateful to the show for introducing me to that Kara Zor-El. 

And Alex, and J’onn, and Winn, James, Cat, Eliza, Kelly, Nia, Brainy, and YEAH, EVEN YOU TOO, MON-EL. The whole cast, who made these characters real, and who sold some absolutely SAPPY, ENDEARING, DORKY STUFF. XD

So, in summary: 6x18 through 6x20? Bad. No thanks. Not a fan. But the show? Kara? And where she ends up? Love it. Love it so much. 

...BUT NO KRYPTO, DAMN IT. HOW DARE THEY!?!??!?! XD

[nyxi-styx]

It’s hard joining a new fandom sometimes

I’m just going to take a minute to vent a little bit of my feelings and I honestly don’t care if anyone reads this.

At 25 years old (24 when I started getting dragged into it all), I thought I was “too old” to be a YouTube fan. It was, after all, rather after my time. Established in 2005, I didn’t really experience anything on YouTube until about 2007-2008. Back then it was meme-y BS like Shoop-da-Whoop, “Shoes”, Charlie the Unicorn, and Potter Puppet Pals. As I grew older, YouTube seemed like something better left to teens. Maybe use it to look up a music video or something instructional and then fall down a Slow-Mo Guys or choreography rabbit hole. Still not a fandom. The closest I came to such was binge-watching Rob Dyke’s WWYPTOTI series and Twisted Tens series.

At Indy PopCon 2016, I was there with friends to see a guest (and caught glimpses of a passing Kevin Smith as I was so that was badass). Two of my friends were already in the YouTube culture world and fans of Markiplier and Dan & Phil. While we were having a snack and playing a card game, they spotted Wade (THE LordMinion777) taking some photos with fans int eh same food court area. I went over and took the photo of them with him, having no idea who this dude was. Less than a month later, (I’d say about 2 weeks) one of those two friends finally introduced me to Markiplier. I don’t remember the reasoning, but she showed me I Am Bread first. It was funny. I liked it. I didn’t think I’d get as into it as she did. However, curiosity had the better of me and I went to my room that night and watched him play ALL of OctoDad: Dadliest Catch. I laughed so hard I cried and that sold it for me. I fell in love. Of course, I had known a little about him due to gratuitous gifs and photos all over this godforsaken hellsite and I always thought he seemed like a nice, genuine person. Overtime, I just kept watching. I got to know about Bob and Wade and Team Edge. I fell in love with Chica. I just really enjoyed myself. Of course, I knew a little bit about JackSepticEye too, but I though being a Markiplier fan was about as deep into YouTube fandom as I was going to get.

About February, I saw a recommended playlist of JSE videos on an unrelated site. At this point, the post with the playlist was about 4 months old. I decided to go ahead and watch it, just to try something new. Naturally, I fell in love. I loved Jack more than I love Mark soon enough, not through any fault of Mark or anything. He’s still a wonderful person. I just loved that Jack was jsut unabashedly, fully, enjoying himself and nerding out and THEN doing the “professional” thing and reviewing the game whereas Mark would try to review while playing and get distracted by his own emotions and reactions. Not that that is a bad thing. That doesn’t mean Jack is better than Mark. I love them both SO much, but I find it easier to connect with Jack that way because that’s how I am too. I think that’s how most of us are. Once again, I thought this was as deep into YouTube fandom as I was going to get. I caught up with most of their videos (both Mark and Jack). The ones that interested me anyway. And then I would go back and forth and catch up on their latest. So, naturally, I got to know Tyler and Ethan too.

Unfortunately- and I feel like dirt admitting this, like I feel so fucking guilty and that’s why I’m venting here- I paid a lot of attention to Tyler and Mark and not a whole lot to Ethan. I didn’t have anything against him at all. He was funny and adorable. I just... *shrug*. But eventually, his self-deprecating jokes about “my channel is dying” started echoing in my head. And I found myself going “Why?” I knew they would tease him about his opening (which I think is a little unfair since it happens to be joked about more than Mark’s or Jack though there’s are targeted too) and that was about it. So, I finally went and I hit that subscribe button and waited until I had a little bit of time to really check out the content.

I finally sat down and opened the Crank Gameplays channel and started saving playlists of content that I found interesting. I don’t remember where exactly I started but I was kind of like “Okay. Cool. Cool. I mean there’s a lot of similarities between YouTube gamers, so how much can you really do?” But then I saw the video of Ethan and his brother singing “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” and I was like “Wow! He can sing! He’s got a really nice voice! It’s kind of that rugged jazzy, folks-y type voice. He kinda reminds me of like... Train or Matt Nathanson. Neato.” But then in ‘recommended’ came a video (I assume a clip from a livestream) of Ethan playing ukulele and covering “Can’t Help Falling In Love”. If there’s one thing I’m a sucker for, it’s Elvis songs.

I watched that video and fell. in. LOVE. Instant stan. I don’t know what it was but I just... couldn’t help falling in love. Haha.

Like I do, I instantly tried to find out a lot about him as if to play catch up. I was surprised to find out he’s a bit younger than me. But he’s got the same birthday as my dad (three days before mine and 3 days after my favourite actor) so of course I thought that was pretty freaking cool.

Maybe it’s because I always root for the underdog and the secondary characters... maybe it’s because blue is my favourite colour... maybe it’s because I am a sucker for hazel eyes... maybe it’s because I always fall for the biggest dork... I don’t know. I can’t pinpoint it, but Ethan is so wildly different from Mark and Jack. They’re all super nice, super genuine guys, but something about Ethan tugs at my heartstrings way more.

Whatever it is, I’m happy to be here. I’m happy to watch him grow and succeed in the next year. And I’m SO excited to have the chance to meet him at Indy PopCon 2018.

The thing is, though... I feel... like I don’t belong here. In Mark’s fandom, I really am just a number. Nobody notices. Nobody cares. In Jack’s fandom... well, the Overnight Watch was my first foray into community interaction and I was so surprised and overwhelmed by how welcome I was. Like it didn’t matter how long I had been a fan, what mattered was that I was a fan and I was happy to be interacting. And it’s nice to be a part of a fandom in which there’s little to no toxicity and drama and hatred amongst fans. It’s nice to be completely accepted.

In Ethan’s fandom... well, I’ve been here all of about a week... and I feel like I’m trying too hard. Like I shouldn’t be in this community because everyone else has been here longer. Everyone else understands more. Everyone else is better than me. I don’t matter.

This is why it’s nice to have @markidarkimoo as a friend. She stans with me no matter who or what.

The worst of it all in these three fandoms is that I can’t make fanart. I am shit at mood/aesthetic boards. I CAN make video edits, but my current laptop will not support my preferred software and I can’t afford a better laptop for a while. I am shit at photo edits.

I just... I can’t do anything worthwhile. I see all this other amazing work that all of the rest of you put out and I just... feel so insignificant.

Being part of a “big box” fandom like Supernatural or Marvel or Sherlock is easy for me because they’re all fictional characters and people eat up fanfic like they’re starving to death. Doesn’t matter if I can’t fan art. I can contribute to the fandom and show my love by making stories.

YouTube is different. It’s not based on fictional characters (Jack’s Egos and Darkiplier aside), it’s based all on real people. I can’t fanfic that unless it’s reader insert and that’s not something for the creators to see (*if they ever do, please kill me*) and enjoy.

I don’t know... I just feel pretty useless. These fandoms are smaller than the “big box” fandoms so I feel like I have to contribute something in order to properly show my love and appreciation and gratitude. But I can’t. I’m just useless. I’m just a blip.

[alphaflyer]

So, I had a number of requests for the Ask Meme, some overlapping, so I’ll answer them all at once.  Thank you, @thiswillonlyhurtalittle, @rikerssexblouse, @spectralarchers and @cassiesinsanity for playing and making me think!  :)  (I had to finish a Secret Santa assignment and then actually fell asleep on the plane, so this is a bit later than I thought...)

C What character do you identify with most?

Oh, that’s a tough one.  Probably Maria Hill?  Professional woman in a man’s world, takes no BS from anyone?

D Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?

Well, since @spectralarchers didn’t specify a fic, I’ll volunteer one (one you’ve probably not read):  The Andorian Incident.  I found myself listening to Bob Dylan’s “Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts” a lot, trying to make sense of it, and decided that elements from it (especially the quasi-Western ones) would make great ingredients for a story.  Then I tossed in Kenny Rogers’ “The Gambler”, and a plot was born!  Of course, every last chapter and section heading in “Highway of Diamonds” is based on a matching line from Dylan’s Hard Rain...

F Care to share a favorite hurt/comfort fic?

Another tough one, since I don’t actually read that genre very much.  But one of the best is one I beta’d for @obishenshenobi - Breathe.

I  Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

Yes!  I fall for the “secretly married” trope - Every. Damn. Time. I may even have committed written one myself (or close, anyway).  

N Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

Yes!!  Will someone please finish Proof of Life for me??  I keep getting these plaintive PMs and yes, I’d like to, but I wrote it during my past tense phase and  something always gets in the way...  .

P Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an "architect" or a "gardener"? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

Can I be a landscape architect? I start with some basic elements (a wall, a pond, a deck, a couple of trees) and then stuff just grows organically around those.  Or not, in which case I bring in a bulldozer and move shrubs around.  At the last moment, I put in a random bunch of annuals (the little jokes, foreshadowings, references...) for colour.

R Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

Yes, yes, yes! Published authors - Georgette Heyer.  For better or worse, I got hooked on her approach to description, and not to be afraid of Big, Slightly Archaic Words.  George RR Martin, for the serial POV structure.  

@thiswillonlyhurtalittle convinced me to write in the present tense (see above: Proof of Life, Fate of - and no, I don’t blame her!!) and was my first - and remains my bestest - fandom friend and a huge reason I’m here doing this in the first place.  DAlaire basically propelled me into writing in the first place; her Guerdon is a masterpiece.  @freaoscanlin led me into humour and screwball, Inkvoices dragged me into trying AU.  There are other Voyager and Clintasha writers, too many to name, all of whom contributed bits and bobs to my evolution as a writer (for some I may not even realize what, but if you scratch the surface you’ll find it).

T Any fandom tropes you can't stand?

M-Preg.  I mean, seriously?  WHYYYYYY????

U A pairing you might like to write for, but haven't tried yet. 

YES!  Lorca/Cornwell, ST:Discovery.  I am resisting hard trying to get sucked into a new fandom, but I DO love damaged males and strong women, so that is just too delish to pass up.  Maybe an early meet-at-the-Academy thing where she is equally appalled and fascinated by his tendency to bend rules to get whatever result he wants, or her trying to get him to open up about his PTSD?  Or him (clunkily) trying to help her post-Klingon captivity, while in complete denial about his own issues?  Hmmm.  NO I WON’T DO IT NO I WON’T DO IT NONONONONOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo........

[cheerscafe]

Ouma/Saihara fic just posted!

Hello you all! I wrote an Oumasai fic and wanted to share! Yahooo! My first contribution to the Oumasai fandom! :D

Title: Limerence

Summary: After his horrible experiences in his past school, Saihara is ready to enter Saishuu Academy and start anew. Now all he has to do is fit in. Easy. Or so he thinks. It isn't long before a classmate of his starts hanging around him more and more and more, practically existing around him like a benevolent shadow. What's his deal, anyway? It isn't like he asked for the attention, but then again, he's not saying he minds, either.

Basically a fluffy, loving, and supportive high school au where kids don't have to worry about killing each other. :D

Rating: Teen and Up

Word Count: 3,253

Warnings: None, though mentions of bullying. Stay safe! 

Fanart that inspired the chapter: @emubirb‘s ouma and saihara fanart, because I love it! Please go check it out and reblog from them! ^◡^  http://emubirb.tumblr.com/post/155310356005/if-youre-taking-requests-could-you-draw

Chapter 2 3 4

AO3 Link  ✌( ° ∀ ° ) Fic below cut~

Chapter 1: First Meetings and New Starts

New school, new you. There's nothing to fear. Nothing to fear, nothing to fear. Everything will be fine. This isn't the first time you've introduced itself and it certainly won't be the last. Everything will be fine, right? Saihara Shuuichi was currently waiting in the hallway outside his new classroom, convincing himself that transferring to a new school, in a new city, halfway through the year was not something to freak out about. This was a common practice, tons of people transfer schools. This is fine. These people didn't even know him. They had no agenda against him and it was going to be fine. He had come from a smaller-yet-not-cosy-small high school where everyone knew everyone but not on a close enough level to always care. It allowed people to witness drama and bullying but not be familiar enough to justify getting involved. He supposed that system had been kind to others... it certainly hadn't been to him. It had started off small. His peers had constantly teased his appearance, his studiousness, his reluctance to go out and drink with the rest of them at any given opportunity they could. He must have been an easy target: his face hadn't refined into the masculine jaw that his classmates had obtained, nor did his shoulders broaden to a significant degree to allow his masculinity to be apparent. He was constantly mistaken as a girl. He tried to assure himself that they were honest mistakes, but after weeks and weeks of the same misunderstanding from the same people, added onto the fact that their expressions were sneering, he had to come to the conclusion that they meant it on purpose. It was fine, really. He was never close enough friends with any of them to begin with. ...Or, it was, until– Saihara shook his head. Now was not the time to start that train of thought. It's okay, he thought, the people here look nicer. Which was true. He had seen various faces on the campus that morning, smiling and cheerful and not a shred of malice in them. This time, he thought, this time will be different. It has to be. No, I'll make sure it is! He breathed deeply. This was nothing to worry about. All he had to do was to introduce himself and fit in. Easy. Yet despite his self-reassurances, Saihara still pulled on the bill of his hat until it was over his eyes. Oh god, he thought. There are so many ways this can go wrong, aren't there? A sound abruptly crashed Saihara's train of thought. He looked to his left to see two kids half-running toward him. One had extremely pale hair and was chasing after another boy with short and flippy dark hair. Kids? In a high school? The pale-blonde shouted as the other boy laughed. "Ouma-kun! Please return my wrench to me! I need it for my fourth-period elective!" "Not until you promise to build me a super-cool robot arm, Kiibo-chan!" 'Ouma' continued to laugh heartily as he waved the other's wrench around, seemingly not concerned that he was waving around a wrench that could seriously hurt somebody. Saihara just stared. So, they aren't kids? They're my age? They're wearing the uniform... Could they be my classmates? Saihara was so shocked by the display that he hadn't noticed the dark-haired boy coming up to him. The boy stopped and turned to him, expression completely wiped clean of the mirth it had previously. "Huh? Who are you?" Saihara's previously forgotten nerves flooded his senses. It was happening already? He wasn't prepared at all. No, no, I can do this, he thought. He breathed out before responding, "I'm your new classmate... I think." The boy (Ousa? Ouka?) hummed, still standing in place a few feet from Saihara. His classmate, on the other hand, had not forgotten his quest to retrieve his wrench and yanked from the boy's grasp before he could retaliate. He gasped and pouted, "Kiibo-chan! Not fair!" "You weren't paying attention, it was clearly fair game," 'Kiibo' replied tactfully. "Booring." Saihara couldn't help but stare. This was so much more different from where he was before. His past classmates would have just walked off without sparing him a glance. What kind of place is this academy? The pale-blonde noticed Saihara staring at the both of them, awkwardly standing by the doorway. "Oh! A new classmate? So you're the transfer I was hearing about." He stuck out his hand to Saihara before smiling broadly, "My name is Iidabashi Kiibo! It's nice to meet you!" Saihara smiled faintly before returning the gesture and shaking his hand. "It's nice to meet you too, Iidabashi-kun." "Oh, please call me Kiibo! Everyone else does." Saihara started to relax. Such familiarity on the first day was a good sign, right? "Okay, Kiibo-kun. My name is–" "Ah! No fair! I wanna introduce myself next!" Saihara found his hand jostled out of Kiibo's grip and into a new one. Compared to the polite firmness of Kiibo's hand, this boy had clasped Saihara's hands in both of his warmly. Saihara looked from his hands to see his new classmate with a bright sparkle in his eyes. "Woow, your hands are so soft!" "Eh-?" Saihara blushed a little. That wasn't something people just said out loud. Who is this kid? "Uh, you are–?" "Oh that's right! I haven't said my name yet. Though with the way Kiibo-chan was shouting it I wouldn't be surprised if you already knew it by now," The boy giggled. "That's because you had taken my wrench!" Kiibo harshly reminded him. Saihara tried to piece it together. He had thought he heard– "Ouma...kun?" Saihara tried. "Is that your name?" "Yeess! You got it!" Ouma cheered. "My name is Ouma Kokichi. I'm super amazing! Did you know I once survived a whole month without food by only living on fruity soda?" Saihara stopped. That's... ridiculous. That can't be true... can it? Kiibo sighed. "It's a lie." "Huh?" "Yuuup! It was a lie. I'm a liar after all." Well then. Saihara sighed. What kind of person responds so cheerfully when getting called out on an obvious lie? "By the way, you haven't introduced yourself yet," Ouma continued. "You're not gonna be rude and make your classmates wait, are you?" Oh, shoot. He had completely forgotten. Saihara almost reached for the bill of his hat but remembered that his hand was still in Ouma's grasp. He steeled himself before looking the two in the eyes and introducing himself. "I'm Saihara Shuuichi. I came here from a different school. It's...nice to meet you both." He finished. There, that wasn't bad, he thought. "Yes! Welcome to Saishuu Academy," Kiibo said, beaming at him. "Hmmm Saihara-chan, huh?" Ouma was wearing an expression somewhere between a smirk and a genuine smile, eyes crinkled at the edges. Saihara stared at it. What is he-? "Anyway, I can't see your face very well with that dumb hat in the way." Saihara had barely any warning before Ouma tugged on his hand. Saihara fell forward slightly as Ouma arched his face up so it was right in Saihara's face, underneath his hat. Saihara stood there, uncomprehending the change in situation. He was suddenly staring into the dark, warm eyes of his classmate and when did he get so close close close– "Woooow, Kiibo-chan, Saihara-chan's eyes are gray! I've never seen anything like it!" "Wh-" Saihara couldn't help it; he blushed. What is happening? What is happening?! Saihara was saved from further embarrassment when Kiibo pulled on Ouma's shoulders, effectively dislodging their hands. "Don't mind him Saihara-kun, Ouma-kun can be a bit... invasive." "Hehe, I couldn't help it!" Ouma grinned, as if it was all one big game to him. Kiibo pushed Ouma towards the classroom door and opened it. "I hope you'll forgive him, Saihara-kun. Anyway, it was nice meeting you. I await to see you in class!" Kiibo declared with a smile after pushing Ouma and then himself fully through the door. Silence ensured before Saihara breathed a sigh of relief. It's only the first day and these are the kind of people I'm meeting... Saihara jolted when a head bobbed out of the open doorway. Ouma was staring at him with a blank expression. He then smiled blindingly. "It was amazing to meet you, Saihara-chan! I look forward to getting to know you this year~!" Ouma then closed the door, leaving Saihara once again in silence. ...Well that was... something. — Saihara had quickly and successfully introduced himself to the class once the lesson had started. His teacher had been unassuming and kind, placing him in the back of the classroom where the open seats were. That was a small relief. At least now if he made a big mistake, not as many people would notice. His hat had been taken off for the day in accordance with the school code and safely placed in his shoe locker. At lunch all of his classmates had introduced themselves and had vowed to make him feel welcome. A classmate who introduced himself as Kaito had instantly placed an arm around his shoulders, deemed Saihara as "a trustworthy individual," and accepted him as a friend right off. A red-haired girl named Yumeno had told him about a magic trick she was preparing to welcome him into the class, and an enthusiastic individual named Yonaga had offered up a prayer to her god to bless his initiation (what god and religion that was, Saihara still wasn't sure). Gokugahara, a large muscular classmate of his (How is he only in high school?) had even offered to give him a tour of the school gardens, ranting on the various bug types present there. Apparently he was an insect enthusiast? All in all his classmates had ensured a warm welcome and Saihara couldn't be happier about it. Things really were starting to look up. Currently he was walking beside a girl named Akamatsu Kaede, who had piano clips in her hair and a gentle smile always present on her face. She offered a tour around campus, which Saihara had gratefully accepted. Apparently this academy was well-funded. There were various classrooms that dealt with music, art, science, and various other fields of study. The gym had a pool, rooms for boxing and martial arts, and there were even rooms for sports like tennis and badminton. The library was full of books and shelves that climbed several stories. Saihara had been in awe. Am I really going to school here? In this amazing place? He and Akamatsu were currently walking to the cafeteria (or what he assumed was the way to the cafeteria, since Akamatsu was leading). She had asked him all sorts of questions, about his likes and dislikes, what kind of movies he watched and what hobbies he had, and she had responded with interesting facts about herself in turn. They were getting along swimmingly and he appreciated her overflowing kindness. He was already beginning to see her as a close friend. Saihara casually mentioned his interest in criminal mystery novels, to which Akamatsu cheerfully replied, "With all the books in the library, you'll be sure to find some good mystery novels!" The conversation kept progressing smoothly and Saihara began to relax a little. He had nothing to worry about. Her questions had been prodding, but not invasive. Right, as long as she didn't ask him why he transferred– "So, why did you transfer?" Well, crud. This wasn't a question he wanted to answer now. Or ever. Why can’t people just forget about it completely? Saihara let out a small breath, coming up with the most believable white lie he could. "Um... my father had a job change." "Oh, cool." Phew. That seemed to do the trick. Hopefully people would stop asking about it. It technically wasn't a lie: his father had come to the new city to work. The reason for transferring jobs however... that was a bit more than Saihara was willing to let his classmates know just yet. Akamatsu turned to him and smiled disarmingly. "Well, for whatever reason you came here Saihara-kun, we're glad to have you!" Saihara could feel his stress slipping away as he smiled back. Yeah... maybe I can make a new start here. — The day had ended and all of his classes had progressed smoothly. Saihara was immensely relieved that his classmates were so warm-hearted and accepting. With a smile on his face Saihara exited the classroom with his bag and headed down to the shoe lockers. Akamatsu had accompanied him with an offer to walk together until she had to go to her piano lesson studio. Akamatsu continued to ramble on about their classmates. "Shinguuji-kun may be a bit quiet, but he'll tell you anything you want to know about folklore. He's amazing! And Iruma-san might have a foul mouth but she means well. Harukawa-san isn't standoffish at all really, she's just shy! I'm sure you'll fit in in no time." "Thank you, Akamatsu-san," Saihara smiled back. "I really do appreciate all you're doing for me." "Don't mention it!" Saihara stopped in front of his locker and slid open the hatch. There were his shoes, right as he... ...Huh? "Akamatsu-san," Saihara asked, "Have you seen my hat anywhere?" "Your hat?" Akamatsu asked in surprise. "No, I haven't. You said you put it in your shoe locker right?" "Yes, I remember doing so..." "Maybe it's back in the classroom?" She offered. Saihara sighed. "I'll go check there. You can go on Akamatsu-san, I know you have a piano lesson to get to." "You sure? I don't mind..." She trailed off. "Don't worry about it," Saihara assured. "I'll just check around briefly. I'm sure it's around here somewhere." — Of course, of course it has to be lost on the first day of school. Saihara had searched the hallway, the bathrooms, and all the other places he had visited. He continued to scrounge in the classroom, checking in corners and under desks. No luck. He let out an aggravated huff. I need to find it soon, otherwise I won't be able to make it in time. He decided to search under the desks, again, when someone came to look in the open doorway. "Hmm? Saihara-chan, what are you doing here?" Oh, it's Ouma. "Nothing, Ouma-kun. I'm just trying to find my hat." "You hat, huh?" "Yes, I remember putting it in my shoe locker but-" Saihara had turned to face Ouma and saw exactly what he had been looking for. There was his hat, right between Ouma's fingers. Ouma noticed his gaze and waved the hat around playfully. "Oh, you mean this hat?" "...Yes." "Well Saihara-chan, I'm kind of fond of your hat. I thought I'd find it if I looked in your shoe locker." Ouma looked proud with his reasoning. "You... stole it from my shoe locker?" "Yup! I did! Hey, are you mad? How badly do you want it? Are you going to chase me for it?" Ouma grinned. Saihara blinked. He couldn't understand what was happening. The day had been going so well yet- The memories flashed through his head as he suppressed a shudder. Classmates holding his books and bag above him, taunting him, kicking his stomach as he tried reaching for his belongings, only to pour out his bag's contents on top of him when they'd had their fun. Their words rang through his head. Come on, Saihara, can't you reach it? What's wrong, too much of a girl to fight for it? Aw, look at that he can't even stand up! What a loser. Hahaha, hey, do you mind if I borrow your pen? I lost mine see, and you can't even stand up to reclaim it... Haha, hey wimp, are your parents proud of such a failure? Saihara felt the anxiety creep in. No, no... I can't let this happen again. This isn't like last time. No, I won't let this happen again. Drawing in a breath, he closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he calmly walked over to Ouma, who was simply staring at him. Saihara stopped in front of Ouma and held out his hand. "I want my hat back, please." The two stared at each other. Ouma had no traceable emotion on his face. He simply stared at Saihara as he remained firmly in place. Moments passed, and Saihara was starting to wonder what was wrong. I'm pretty sure he heard me correctly. Is he going to decide? Do I need to ask again? Saihara was about to request his hat once more when Ouma's expression changed. His eyes widened and his smile curled until his face was practically beaming with joy. That was... not what Saihara was expecting. Before he could question it, however, Ouma lunged forward and placed his hat haphazardly on his head, the bill pulled down so much it effectively blinded him. Saihara stumbled slightly. "Ah-" "Of course Saihara-chan! If you didn't want to play with me all you had to do was say so!" Playing? Is that what this is? "Anyways Saihara-chan, I don't think you even need your dorky hat. In fact, I think you look much better without it!" Ouma confidently declared. "Uh," Saihara eloquently replied. He wasn't sure how to handle this. Teasing to praise within such a short amount of time? Ouma, however, was unaffected by Saihara's confusion. "Bye bye Saihara-chan! Tomorrow I'll be sure to think of even more fun games to play. See ya!" Ouma left, closing the doorway behind him, leaving a shocked and slightly flustered classmate behind him.

— Ouma walked down the hallway of the school, almost giddy with excitement. How unexpected! He had seen Saihara's attachment to his hat and had decided to play around a little. After all, he thought, if it's so much fun to make Kiibo-chan chase after his things, maybe it'll be fun with Saihara-chan too! It was easy. All he had to do was take his hat, and then the fun would begin. When he waved Saihara's hat in front of him like a taunt, he had expected a chase, maybe even a distressed plea to return it. He hadn't expected Saihara's face to pale, and certainly hadn't expected his eyes to have a touch of fear. Fear? Was it fear? What had surprised him the most, however, were Saihara's actions. After the fear, Saihara had calmly walked over and asked for his hat back. He held his shoulders high and looked into Ouma's eyes resolutely, unflinching. There was no fear or wavering resolve in his expression. It had caught Ouma off-guard. Ouma had seen a spark. A spark that lied in Saihara's gaze. Behind the timidness and the lack of confidence lay someone who would rise to the occasion. Someone who could overcome even the darkest moments of life, someone who would face tragedy head on, someone who would stick by his beliefs no matter the circumstances. The person he saw (no, glimpsed) was a man confidence and willpower. Someone who would not bow down to anything or anyone. He hadn't expected it. He hadn't predicted it. It had been exciting. Ouma was practically bouncing his way out of the school now. Hey, who are you, Saihara-chan? Ouma thought as he started to skip. What are you capable of? I can't wait to find out! Ouma let out a breathy giggle as he exited the school, eagerly awaiting the next day that was already full of possibilities.

Notes!

- Limerence: (n) the state of being infatuated with another person - Kiibo and Ouma's interactions, and even Ouma and Saihara's interactions, were based on when Kaede first met Kiibo and Ouma. Ouma and Saihara's interactions were also based on their love hotel scene that I've seen translated (the part where they speak). - I based Kiibo's last name on the professor that made him in canon. I had Saihara switch to calling him Kiibo because I'm pretty sure even I'll get confused if we use that last name for long... - In this Au Ouma is not mentally ill (at least like he is in canon) and there is no killing game, just kids being normal high schoolers. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ - And yes, they are wearing uniforms to this school in the Au. If you need an idea, the clothes they wore in the prologue are a good reference. - More characters will be featured, just be patient!

Hope you all enjoyed it!  ＼(＾▽＾)／