#anyways its a whole fuckin timeline i have

[baalzebufo]

some additional doodles and a Lot of Headcanons... sorry if im spamming these a little bit. ive got so many thoughts in my head, lmao

theres my older pacifica- after weirdmageddon, her and gideon become friends. theyre both sort of ostracized from the town as a whole bc of their past attitudes/actions so they cling together and become buds. its nice having someone else who 'gets' it.

pacifica moved out as soon as she could to get away from her folks and has a job at a local mall. gideon enables her to enjoy at least SOME of her old luxuries by taking her shopping and to get their nails done together and stuff. also his prison buddies help ''kindly persuade'' her parents not to break her enforced no-contact rule from time to time. i know the two have the bitchiest gossip in the entire town together. sometimes when its hard to be 'nice' they know they can at least vent to the other and they wont get judged for it, yknow?

also some backstory doodles! he was a Normal Kid, Once. or close enough to it. gideon was a sickly child and was sheltered and homeschooled for most of his life. the gleefuls moved from texas to oregon when he was about seven (yes i know this breaks canon a little. its fine shh.) and he found journal 2 shortly after. things went downhill from there

other notes. he's always kept his hair long, but used to either let it down or tie it into a long braid. he very briefly attended a public school and he didnt fare very well there (fat kid + albino + 'girly' + general weird interests is basically painting a massive target on your back) he used to stay up and watch late night televangelists when he couldnt sleep in hospital and copped his aesthetic from there

sorry this post is so long i have a lot of thoughts about him </3

[todayisafridaynight]

That fuckin new bucket list trailer for 8?????????

hey what if we all just cut ourselves in half after this huh

[saltnsugarbear]

bad blood!Carmy nsfw headcanons (18+)

summary: just some nsfw thoughts on Carmy from my series!

title from: series playlist!

word count: 2.4k, pure filth <3

content warnings: smut MDNI!! claire mention (I'm sorry), afab reader genitalia, unprotected penetrative sex (birth control does not save you! wear a rubber), maybe breeding kink if you squint really hard, vaginal oral, vaginal fingering,

read part one or part two!

-i just want to preface with, you have fucked

-unlike Carmen

-it takes a very long time for you guys to get to this point in your relationship, given everything thats happened in the past

-to not spoil what I have planned, but the first time you guys sleep together is maybe during the construction? most likely during season 3 timeline (June-ish)

- if it's during season 3, then it's definitely after you've told him off again and you're both worked up.

-it's after service and you're both in the alleyway, yelling at each other over a cigarette.

-at one point you're up in his face, poking his chest and your cigarette is dangerously close to burning a hole in his chef whites. your chest is heaving as you finish telling him off and thats when it happens.

-Carmy is,,,, very not elegant when kissing you lmao

-he's very awkward! he's only ever kissed Claire! so he very easily lets you take control of the kiss

-however he does end up corraling you against the wall, hands on your hips and in your hair and everywhere

-you've both discarded your cigarettes and you're grabbing handfuls of his chef whites. he is impossibly close to you and you need him closer

-youre both desperate and know you're limited on time right now

-this, by the way, has carmy x host/waiter written all over it because you and Richie are a team! the dynamic duo! the baddest host/waiter team!

-anyways back to it, you're both desperate, horny, and frustrated

-youre both fumbling with the others pants. Carmy has yanked yours down to your knees and is now helping you undo his belt and buttons

-i, personally, am not one for backshots but thats simply whats most convenient right now!

-so after you've got his pants unbuttoned you turn yourself around, preparing for the feeling of brick against your hands and cheek

-carmy, ever the gentleman, shucks off his chef whites and gives to you as a barrier between your face and the wall

-he adjusts your hips so they're farther from the wall, ass sticking out a little more (just for his enjoyment)

-you can hear him spit into his hand and the sound of his hand slicking up his cock. the sound is filthy and it has you rocking your hips back a little which makes Carmy huff a laugh

-"that fuckin' needy, huh?" carmys lips are against your ear, he's slipping the head of his cock between your folds and briefly nudges up against your clit

-you open your mouth to respond but as soon as you do, carmy is sinking the head of his cock into and you very quickly forget whatever smart-ass comment you were going to make and is replaced with a breathy gasp

-he gives you the briefest moment to against before he's sinking further into you until his hips are flush against your ass

-carmen gives you another brief moment to adjust to the size of him before he places his hand over yours on the wall and starts a furious pace

-"such a fuckin' smart mouth.." carmy grunts out, his whole demeanor the opposite of how he usually is

-its kind of hot

-he keeps up the dirty talk with things like "where'd that mouth go, huh?" "don't have anything to say?" "fucking you so good you can't think?" and like you really cannot think, the only noises coming out of your mouth are strangled moans and labored panting

-it goes against everything in your being and dynamic to not bite back at him but he's just fucking you so good all you can think about is his hand on your hip and hand and how deep he is inside you

-"all y'needed was to have my cock in ya and you shut up?" "what would they think, their smart mouth host just need a good fuck." "should have known y'needed to be full to behave yourself"

-your orgasm is a shock to you with all of his comments but Carmy is not done! no sir! he proceeds to fuck another one out of you before he's pulling out and finishing in his hand (which he wipes off on the rag from his back pocket) (which has now been disposed of in the dumpster)

-carmy is ragged against you, catching his breath with his chest heaving against your back

-you can't think past the body warmth he radiates around you and the brush of his thumb on your hand and hip

-once you've both caught your breath, carmy pulls pulls your underwear up before he flips you for your back is resting against the wall

-carmy doesn't let you think to hard in the moment and fixes your appearance for you. he pulls your pants back up, tucking your blouse into the waistband and fixing your hair

-carefully, carmy takes his shirt from behind your head and slips it back on before he fixes his own pants

-he gives you a brief parting kiss, its soft and sweet compared to the way he was just railing into you

-carmy enters through the back before you, giving you more time to collect yourself before you have to face the staff and customers again

-okay second scenario, let's go

-if it happens during construction on the restaurant, it's after hours when Carmy is sorting through things or planning the menu by himself.

-maybe he's asked you to come take a look at the dish he's working on, tell him if you think the ingredients are right or if it looks good plated.

-your faces are really close to each other, you're peering over his work and he's watching you take everything in.

-when you look up at him, you're somehow even closer. you can feel his breath on your lips and can bump his nose with yours if you move even a little

-you're not really sure who moves first but suddenly you're kissing. its short before carmy pulls away, wide eyed and looking like he's about to apologize

-you swallow any possibility of that happening by kissing him again and he lets you, any thoughts of the menu quickly forgotten in favor of simply kissing you

-Carmy brushes all of the paperwork to the side and sits you on the desk, bringing your feet to rest on the chair behind him

-this version is much more desperate and hot and communicating everything neither of you will say out loud

-its really soft and sensual and this kiss is polar opposite to the first scenario

-carmy really takes his time with you cause there's no one to interrupt you tonight

-his hands are everywhere, sliding over your chest and down your ribs, pulling your hips impossibly closer

-he slides a hand down your pants, albeit shy, and is a little bit shocked at how wet your underwear already is, and this earns you a shocked groan against your mouth

-you take that as an opportunity to deepen the kiss and Carmy lets you take the lead

-Carmy clumsily moves his fingers past your waistband and the feeling of his fingers against you makes your hips jerk

-ever the quick learner, Carmy begins rubbing at your sex and it has you moaning into his mouth

-his fingers dip ever the slightest down to brush against your slit and has you whining in response (which Carmy thoroughly enjoys but I digress!)

-Carmy spends a lot of time toying with your clit and using your own arousal that the steadily building knot in your stomach just snaps

-he pulls back and watches in amazement as you clench around nothing and try to trail after his mouth to stifle your moans

-to help you, carmy dips one of his fingers inside of you and it has you gasping into his mouth

-carmy helps you ride out your orgasm with one finger and eventually ups it to two, which makes you bring a hand to his hair to tug him closer to you

-the sounds you're making would be slightly more embarrassing if you weren't so desperate and didn't think Carmy was incredibly turned on

-using the release around his fingers and thats slowly seeping out of you, he brings his thumb to your clit to work at it softer this time

-if you thought you sounded needy before, its nothing compared to when carmy starts fucking three fingers into you

-he brushes up against a spot that has your eyes roll back into your head, tugging hard at Carmys roots and causing him to groan into your mouth

-your second orgasm rocks through your body like a semi, the air is punched out of your lungs and you feel like your legs are jello

-the whine thats let past your lips when carmy removes his fingers is embarrassing but your body mourns the loss all the same

-anyways he's so sweet, he helps you work of your pants, lifting your hips to get them down throwing your shoes and jeans to the side somewhere

-once he has your pants off you still can't think

-your brain is foggy with your first two orgasms, it feels like you're floating as Carmy unbuttons his pants and briefs, pushing them down to his knees

-all you can do is gasp when he nudges your clit with the head of his cock and then guides himself to your entrance

-slowly Carmy sinks into your heat and he groans at the feeling of your tight walls around him

-as he pushes deeper into you, he captures your lips in a kiss thats sloppy and interrupted by both of your moans

-once he's fully inside of you, somehow you feel more full then you thought possible with his pelvis flush to yours

-when you lean back on your hand to help roll your hips into his thrusts, Carmy places his own over yours and uses it as a means for momentum

-its a slow and even rhythm Carmy has set. you can feel all of him as he pulls out to the head and thrusts back in

-with two orgasms, you can already feel a third on its way

-Carmy is whispering simple sweet things against your lips

-"come on, baby, need you to wait just a little longer. I know you can hold on a little longer." "feel so good around me, jus' perfect." "fuck.. feels like heaven, holy shit"

-soon youre crashing into your third orgasm and you all you can do is gasp out what sounds something like his name

-"fuckin' christ, sweetheart. can't- don't think I'm gonna last much longer-"

-clumsily, Carmy lifts up the hem of your shirt as he pulls out and paints your stomach in his cum

-all either of you can do is look down at area he's covered, both of your mouths agape as you attempt to catch your breath

-carmy quickly tucks himself away before he's opening the file cabinet and takes out the box of tissues Mikey had left in there ages ago

-he kisses your face softly as he starts cleaning you up, trailing them over your cheeks and jaw and nose as he slowly starts helping put you back together

-an overall soft and sweet afterglow (you'll worry about what it mean later, when you can feel your legs again)

-riding him but you guys are sharing a cigarette on his couch, do I need to say more?

-the answer is yes I do

-it's very lazy sex. after service, you're both bone tired but Carmy needs to be close to you right now.

-it's more like cockwarming then actually riding him.

-his chef whites are unbuttoned and his t-shirt is rumpled underneath. his jeans are pulled down to his knees, your own discarded on the floor next to the couch

-carmy hasn't even fully removed your shirt, he's too busy peppering kisses along your sternum and leaving little teeth marks around your nipples

-at a certain point it becomes too much (too little really) and carmy flips you over, laying you on the couch cushion and thrusts into you with a little more firmness

-reverse claire stealing a smoke, carmy grabs your wrist and brings the filter to his lips, making very intense eye contact with you as he takes a drag and hits that one spot that makes you gasp and your eyes roll

-this is also probably the first night you let him cum inside you what can I say, double whammy

-when he's close, he chokes out your name but you're shaking your head, bringing one of your legs up to keep his hips flush with the backs of your thighs

-carmy is sick (not actually) because holy shit you're going to let him fill up you say less

-he definitely picks up his pace, at this point chasing his own release and your own

-hes kind of feral at the idea of filling you up what can I say

-digging through the basement storage with him

-quickie in the basement is what I'm hinting at

-hes got you sat upon the work table, one of your legs hoisted so your knee is against his shoulder

-this is desperate and rushed, you only have so much time before someone comes down to check on you guys

-probably after construction has started and you guys are trying to sort through this stuff before The Bear opens

-idk you guys are like rabbits after your first time together its kind of crazy

-ive been struck with the idea of make up sex which would be really soft and kind of hot

-he's trying to figure out, still, how he can make up for what he's done and you've excepted that he won't be able to. and you've told him this, he ruined your career, there's little you can do to fix that.

-however Carmy still feels like he needs to repent for what he did

-so he does such in the only way he knows how

-eating you out, a classic

-he spends hours between your thighs, pulling orgasm after orgasm from you, always dancing on the edge of overstimulation

-at a certain point carmy let's out a particularly powerful groan, you only learn what that means when he comes up to kiss you with a wet patch in his jeans

-however, ever the dedicated to your pleasure, carmy is ready to go and make it up for you with his cock

[graylinesspam]

I don't know if it's my never ending need to insert myself into narratives of brotherhood by adding myself a the maternal older sister, or if it's my need to take in stray characters with little to no personality outside of titties, but i really want to rehabilitate Bayverse April.

I honestly think the ninja turtles are the reason I have the first condition anyways. I grew up on the 90s movies with considerably older, aunt April, and that's how I've always seen her. That mixed with my need to take over-sexualized characters and smother them in the "If i can't be loved i will be needed and if i can't be needed I'll be used until there's nothing left of me." personality.

Like nobody gives a shit about April dude. She is the least popular character in the fandoms, no matter the iteration. Which I get it, the guys are fuckin cool, they're gonna be your favorites, but April seriously doesn't get enough love, she's so tokenized. And for the most part the nonshippy fics for Bayverse either write her out or strip her of her bombshell reporter personality. Again i get why, but i'm a little offended.

Can she not contain multitudes? Can she not be hot and also have an actual personality? I'm having way too many thoughts about the way that her and the guys both have serious dysphoria levels of body issues, for exact opposite reasons.

I'm having thoughts about the guys having to learn how to interact with human women through her, and just how to act in general, and yeah sure its weird, she's hot and they're young, it's a little unconfortable at first, but that fades, and she spends so much time just being there, and walking them through so much other shit, supporting them, teaching them, being almost diafied by the whole family guardian spirit thing, that eventually they stop being attracted to her and just think of her as a guide.

April being the shiny distraction that keeps the wider world from looking in their direction. And that kinda sucking for her too. The weight and pressure of fame, and widespread sexualization weighing on her. effecting how she sees herself.

I swear, I know we probably wont get a lot more story after Out of the Shadows. But i always assume that the world loosly follows the idw/rottmnt idea of there eventually being a wider society of mutants that have to integrate with the world. The guys do a lot of public image for that. And April, who will tape her tits up to her chin and stand on an international stage to advocate for her family, but usually spends her time in baggy sweaters helping out at the coop headquarters for mutants. April who trades her body like a commodity and clearly doesn't think much of it. To contrast the way the guys treat theirs like temples and still have a hard time looking in the mirror.

the differing thought processes causing conflict at first, till the guys get a little older and are capable of seeing how bizarrely similar it actually is.

I'm having thoughts about humanity and societal acceptance, and objectification and dysphoria and family. MOSTLY FAMILY.

The guys who would kill and die for anyone they consider family and April who will work herself bloody and throw herself into the line of fire for it.

I am fucking screaming.

She lost her whole family in one night, then found it all over again years later. HOW DOES THAT AFFECT A PERSON? how does she think about family? how does she show them love? how does she learn to interact with and teach them in turn? how does she see herself as part of this family? and what is she willing to do for it?

There's so much foundation here, and yeah, I know they do fuck all with it in the movies. That's why no one cares. BUT I DO. i want to write it so bad.

maybe i'll do a Sleeping Habits type of fic with a string of one shots loosely carving a timeline of their relationship development.

[moonybemine]

WHO WANNA BE BESTIES‼️ i need someone to giggle over hp with. you HAVE to be a jkr hater tho bc i hate terfs and am agender(im just vibin tho all gendered terms i use by vibe alone)

MINORS DNI

i have some Opinions on a lot of things about hp and i have some fluctuating emotions on certain characters. i genuinely treat every hp character like barbies that i play with and put into Shenanigans and Situations.

i will reading bashing fics especially albus ones i hate the things he did but i on occasion have been known to enjoy a good albus fic including ones where he's less "we have to kill voldy!!" and more "you (platonically or romantically)Love someone, dont you Tom?" like that spongebob meme. i do not like sirius or remus bashing, it's always overly harsh and vilifies a man locked away in the harshest prison who's mental faculties have been horribly abused, and while The Prank was an incredibly stupid attempt of a prank due to the danger it put severus in and also remus i ultimately believe it would've never happened in the first place if albus and minerva properly chastised the marauders earlier for their treatment of snape. we also don't know when this happened in the timeline of the marauders, was it before or after snape and lily's falling out. in remus' case he's a man who's been treated as a monster his whole life who was allowed into hogwarts by albus who then used this BOY'S gratitude to make him go into enemy territory and spy on and try to recruit people to the other side of the war. not to mention that albus groomed them all to fight the boy he FAILED(ive got so many opinions on tom and albus) and then when remus who support network was either dead or imprisoned he was told he couldn't raise harry and was told to not contact him. albus did all he fucking could to make harry miserable and pliable so that he'd sacrifice himself to end a war like a pig to slaughter. ur telling me Great Albus Dumbledore defeater of grindelwald couldnt find a solution to the horcrux besides having him walk to his death not to mention that he could've probably figured out horcruxes decades earlier and tried collecting them and probably would've succeeded! also i hate that the whole marauders generation is completely wiped out jkr u nasty bitch!

my ultimate fav ships are nottpott and wolfstar. ive BEEN a wolfstar lover since i was literally a child. nottpott entered my life last year and proceeded to ruin me on drarry(and pretty much every other ship involving harry and someone else or theo and someone else) i used to hate dramione bc i was apart of a toxic forum back in the day but i have grown to enjoy it bc it usually goes hand in hand with nottpott. i am forever a fremione and a pansmione gurlie tho. i love a lot of marauders ships as well jegulus/jily/jegulily/wolfstar/marylily/dorlene/pandalily/rosekiller/etc

i will mention i have dipped my toe into tomarry. i have enjoyed quite a few fics with this pairing and while i have enjoyed mostly ones where they are both teens, i do not like or support ones where its oldie voldie and literal child harry. its a grey area with somethings with them because of a multitude of factors and it shifts from a fic to fic basis. im not one to judge overly harsh over liking ships but i will judge in cases of straight up pedophilia but it will mostly result in a block because im not a child that starts fights on the internet anymore. i also do not support bestiality or incest and i'm specifying these things in particular due to a intimate relationship with the harry potter ao3 tag i know what freaks and weirdos exist there. literally the only fuckin fandom thats got a UNIQUE BESTIALITY tag

anyways msg me if ur interested <3

[charmanderxerneas]

(going to be tagging this as ruin spoilers but please dont comment any spoilers because we're not actually done with all the game. We've gotten 2/3 endings and are working towards the secret ending where you have to find hidden cameras while also replaying and seeking out the secrets we missed. This is seriously just insane ramblings aimed at no one i just need to get my thoughts out and suggest u scroll past.)

I seriously like. Am struggling to figure out the whole plot of ruin in an analytical story timeline sense. No i do not read or care about fan theories, i interpret the game and the lore by playing it and looking at all the clues myself thank you very much, so my interpretation of the lore is. different from most fans (you have to consider: very autistic, fnaf a Huge special interest for me. So when i analyze lore, i analyze as much as i can, every single secret. And i feel like a lot of people Miss main lore secret plot points. Im not trying to be a contraian, id love for the fans to have good theories. But like 70% of the time they dont. Or theyre dumb lil kids who blindly listens to mat pat)

my interpretation of sb is different from most fans and theories (mostly because I actually take help wanted and ar into account and can like. Use my brain to understand the differences between the vanessas (there are two. The murderer vanny, who we play as in help wanted, is referred to in ar, and is the one in the therapist tapes) and vanessa the nightguard, who's COMPLETELY unrelated and just an innocent nightguard who happens to have the same name and face as vanessa murderer (though it is also possible to me that like. Murderer vanessa chose to try to look more like nightguard vanessa in an attempt to shift the blame of her crimes, but we dont know this for sure.)and i dont think the therapist tapes are two different people because thats STUPID and it obviously is murderer vanessa (people just. Cannot possibly understand that a person being possessed by an entirely different entity might have changes in her prrsonality. Or that a person with anxiety might have something similar to selective mutism or at the VERY least: troubles speaking because of said murderer in her brain)

ANYWAYS THATS A HUGE ASS TANGENT. MY MAIN THOUGHTS AS OF PLAYING RUIN RN (Please dont spoil things for me im not completely done) is that mainly: i dont know who is speaking to us or who mimic is.

There may be two different people communicating with us with the vanni network (as evidenced by helpi changing eye colors and how like. Some of the motives seem conflicting?) Initially i was like "oh its glitchtrap or williams spirit or something." But that doesnt make any sense because glitchtrap gets Trapped and is worked against.

Even tho that was my first thought: i dont think mimic is burntrap, or william, or glitchtrap. But i dont know what it is, because there are no other obvious characters that it could be in mind (tho since its michaels old fnaf 6 restaurant theyre in, and we saw the blob down there, god knows it could be any number of old ass animatronics or spirits)

Another very fuckin obvious thought is: hey where the fuck is vanny. With the whole mask mechanic, the plot revolving around glitchtrap, ect, you THINK we'd see her st least once. And though she has a cameo in the bad ending which is clearly a vision/fantasy/trick, she doesnt actually appear. The INSTANT That we started this game i speculated: is she talking through helpi? The yellow eyes reminded me of an early sb teaser artwork where we see a close up of a vanessas face with striking, yellow eyes, and i was never sure the significance of that... But i dont think its related at all, as mimic seems to be the one speaking when helpi has yellow eyes. Is mimic related to vanny somehow? I wouldnt assume so.

Whats weird about vanny not being there is it makes it seem like shes not carrying out glitchtraps bidding, which is odd. Dont y'all come at me with that "Gregory helped her!" Crap, the burntrap ending is the canon ending so that never happened. It makes sense for her to be against him (shes never really been on her side, shes the RELUCTANT follower. She explicitly does not want to do any of the horrible shit, but shes beinf forved to) but i just. Gahh i cant figure it out

I WILL figure it out just you wait. I will figure out what my interpretation of the lore as so good as soon as I finish the game just you wait

[pesterloglog]

Davebot, Aradia Megido

Page 519-523

DAVEBOT: ...honestly if you guys trust each other it makes sense

DAVEBOT: you really need to know yourself and your partner

DAVEBOT: but in a practical sense i mean how often do you see each other

ARADIA: really just whenever we do

ARADIA: he is doing his thing and i am doing mine

ARADIA: i could go see him right now

DAVEBOT: you wont

ARADIA: i wont 0u0

DAVEBOT: maybe thats why that other dave could never feel the same way about her even after all those years

DAVEBOT: that guy was just sort of going through the motions

DAVEBOT: doing the quote endquote right thing by everyone

ARADIA: uh huh

ARADIA: as opposed to now with all this knowing your own timeline business

DAVEBOT: no thats different

DAVEBOT: i chose this

DAVEBOT: im doing everything because i choose to do it

DAVEBOT: its just that i know i choose to do it in the future instead of choosing to do it right now

ARADIA: my friend i am going to be honest with you that sounds really stupid

DAVEBOT: yeah probably

DAVEBOT: but i can see why he chose what he did

DAVEBOT: he sucked and was lame and needed to be less lame

DAVEBOT: in fact his whole timeline was lame and basically didnt mean shit

ARADIA: it sounds like maybe you were kind of miserable

DAVEBOT: *he* was

DAVEBOT: so he chose to become me

DAVEBOT: and im here

DAVEBOT: fucking chilling

ARADIA: yeah ok :)

DAVEBOT: anyway youve got some shit to tell me about ultimate freedom

ARADIA: think about how you wield time

ARADIA: are you thinking about it

DAVEBOT: yeah

ARADIA: what is a classic dave strider maneuver

DAVEBOT: like in a fight or what

ARADIA: combat is just one facet of our lives 0_0

ARADIA: but if it helps you then sure in a fight

DAVEBOT: ok say im going to town on some clown (not literal)

DAVEBOT: head to head

DAVEBOT: exchanging blows

DAVEBOT: who will come out on top

ARADIA: what a predicament

DAVEBOT: and i see myself appear behind them and get on all fours

DAVEBOT: so i feint and they take a step back only to topple over like a fuckin jenga tower

DAVEBOT: shouldnt have pulled that block out

DAVEBOT: maybe shoulda tried one of the simple ones from the middle got too ambitious

ARADIA: focus

DAVEBOT: done in by the d mans one and two (i am both of the d mans)

DAVEBOT: but now i know i gotta travel back in time and do that so i wait until the moment they take a swing

DAVEBOT: oh shit now im not there anymore

DAVEBOT: im behind them and i get on all fours and watch myself push them over they topple a second time

DAVEBOT: they take a swing at the me theyre fighting but before they know it poof nice try chucklefuck dave twos gone

DAVEBOT: except theyre not gone theyre me behind them back on all twos ready to rumble

ARADIA: pretty sick

DAVEBOT: it really is

ARADIA: but what if you didnt do that? what if you didnt go back?

DAVEBOT: well that would destroy time

DAVEBOT: i know you know this its actual day one shit

DAVEBOT: you were just bragging about how much universal destruction you have personally been responsible for

ARADIA: yeah haha it is a lot

DAVEBOT: ive doomed timelines before by just not thinking about it too hard

DAVEBOT: people say not to overthink time travel

DAVEBOT: but thats a fools game

DAVEBOT: im tellin you dog

DAVEBOT: stable. time. loops.

ARADIA: i agree

ARADIA: but wouldnt you say that some timelines have to be doomed?

DAVEBOT: i know a couple dead daves who would disagree

ARADIA: but you wouldnt be here without those dead daves

ARADIA: just like i wouldnt be here without all the doomed aradiabots from way back when

ARADIA: actually *you* wouldnt be here without all those doomed aradiabots either

DAVEBOT: yeah thanks for that

ARADIA: youre welcome 0u0

ARADIA: anyway the point im making here is that some of these missteps end up serving a grander purpose

ARADIA: things that seem unimportant or even “wrong” can end up being essential components of whats meant to happen

ARADIA: and who even decides whats wrong in the first place?

DAVEBOT: i dunno megido thats borderline blasphemous

DAVEBOT: even insignificant shit can really mount up in certain circumstances

DAVEBOT: a butterfly flaps its wings the wrong way and shit spirals FAST and before you know it im gay and ashton kutcher is getting fucking euthanized

DAVEBOT: and i cant let that happen

ARADIA: whats the right way for a butterfly to flap its wings?

DAVEBOT: the way that doesnt make me gay

DAVEBOT: period

ARADIA: you say a lot of really funky stuff man

DAVEBOT: good point sensei

DAVEBOT: actually i knew that already

ARADIA: yeah i knew that you knew that dipshit!

ARADIA: its your silly response to like every other statement anyone makes and it is getting pretty boring!

DAVEBOT: thats the name of the game baby

ARADIA: lets play a different game then

DAVEBOT: alright what are the rules

ARADIA: no idea! 0u0

ARADIA: why dont we pop over to a place where nothing seems quotation marks right

ARADIA: a place that seems completely removed from what we would traditionally consider to matter at all

DAVEBOT: why would i need to go anywhere

ARADIA: i dunno to get a cup of water or something!

DAVEBOT: i dont really want a cup of water on account of being a really cool robot

ARADIA: ok a cup of oil

DAVEBOT: now were talkin

DAVEBOT: also now feels like a good time to mention that despite my omnitemporal awareness of everything that has and ever will happen to me i actually have no idea where the fuck youre proposing to take me

ARADIA: oh word

ARADIA: fun huh?

DAVEBOT: being real i kind of hate it

ARADIA: woohoo!

DAVEBOT: youre such a freak

DAVEBOT: TONE INDICATOR: AFFECTIONATE

ARADIA: cmon you shithead

DAVEBOT: fuck it alright lets go

DAVEBOT: hope i dont learn any valuable lessons about living in the moment

ARADIA: hup

[ajdrawshq]

Santa and Repliku for the character bingo

when u go from having the Santa mutual.. to BEING the Santa mutual.. what a timeline im living in rn. anyway,

SANTA MY FRIEND SANTA. he started as @bibiana112's blorbo and he still very much is sjvdjsb they definitely have more thoughts abt him than i do but i still love the guy!!!! my first 999 playthrough i kept trying to go thru doors w him bc he is just so goddamn neat and the way he presents himself was funny to me. the voice acting for him is SO so good ive never heard someone say fuck with their whole chest until i heard this guy. door 6 and The Incident never fail to destroy me every time i watch em, let alone the safe ending,,,,, ough . despite my lack of thoughts abt him i love to microwave him in my brain whenever im reminded of him. do NOT let the name fool u there is so.. So much going on w this guy i dont even know where to start. wait tech have u ever even seen a real pic of Santa actually i need u to look at him rn one sec lemme

percieve him. just. fuckin look at this guy. do i even need to explain why i circled the gender option so much. also the canon isnt real thing is bc of the sequels. where is he.......... OH also he is canon bi/pan which is very epic of him <3

REPLIKU!!!!! good god. every day i rotate this poor poor child in my head til they overheat and explode. i almost circled the everyone else is wrong abt them but i have a select few ppl whom i trust. i am aware the darksuit they have looks funny but i LOVE it okay and. i . i cant talk abt repli too much lest i go on a multiple page rant again (i have a whole other ask for that which i still havent answered bc im. still writing my answer. its been months) but they are everything. to me

[strider-rambles]

holy shit the first motherfucking ramble is an emo one this shit crayz

anyway. uhm. man. as a kin(?) <- dubious but thats how ill be referring to myself for now ive always like. had such a tough time finding not only canonmates, but just.. sourcemates. in general. that i vibe with. i think perhaps my vibes are occasionally mad atrocious, but it's also like. OTHER PEOPLE are half of the issue too you know

takes two to motherfuckin tango, and bro, i'm stepping on these bitches' feet like it's dance dance revolution and like as a dave kin specifically. one who like. was quite young when i got into the fandom however many years ago and, even if i didn't know the term kin back then, i kinda.. knew. or, maybe the fuckin chicken (me) came before the egg (the kin) or whatever but

whatever. it resulted in me being.. kind of in a kinshift for like 4 years during the most formative years of my life

cray-z right

doesn;t matter its just like. because it's been such a present thing through my life ive met.. so many individuals who are like. you know. other kins which is great and all, but like

i haven't found people that i've vibed with for homestuck. the majority of the people i know and interact with now are comfortably in my little kin circle or whatever, are sort of the closest thing that i have to canonmates

nothing for homestuck. well nothing beyond a dirk. but i got lucky with him and i KNOW i got lucky with him because i. we're both kind of outcasts in the community, in the sense that we're. neurotic striders, i guess.

but he's like. helped a lot with the whole feeling alone and being all emotionally constipated about it thing.

but that doesn't help with the other shit

the missing my friends shit, the approaching so many fucking people bein' all like yooo whats GOOD bros and being hit with vibes that clash with mine or WORSE. vibes that WORK WITH ME. but they already have their dave

so whats the point you know?

i'm not going to be THEIR DAVE.

i have so many diverging fucking timelines and like

im dave. im davesprite. im every goddamn iteration of this stupid fucking asshole and MORE.

and

i hate the idea of being the secondary one, i guess. which is funny because. gestures. but like

it's gotten to the point where im so DESPERATE to find people. so DESPERATE to find my bros and my homies and my gals that i like i promised myself i wouldn't do this but i'm actively going "hey i can be your secondary dave, haha" you know. all fucking pathetic and shit

but i just.

i MISS my friends. so bad. and i think part of my struggle is like this is an OLDASS FANDOM. at least in terms of the internet, and so its harder to find people who have those roles unfilled, because like it's already.. you know.

and so like.

i'm stuck here. rambling into the fucking VOID on tumblr because i'm too. fucking. i dont know late??

funny to be late as a time player but womp womp motherfucker, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and start damage control

but like

in all seriousness. i'm losing mad hope

ive gone from being like hey, yall need a dave? to hey, yall need a davesprite? to. radio motherfuckin silence.

and as a result i kinda yap at dirk too much, which totally makes me tweak the fuck out, like, dude. he has a life (albeit a totally like. chill one, that aint all that busy) and he doesnt have the time to like tend to you like youre a child with scarlet fever, and every last word that your whiny little vocal cords can muster could be like... you know. your last. like his ass is NOT writing your obituary

and so like i pull away kinda. and like. because of that pulling away i suddenly have this like. yapping desire that needs to be fulfilled but like i like having peer review. like it keeps it from being a massive fucking echo chamber of just misery and bullshit and like.

yeah

and so i.

i don't know, man. i made this blog for a reason.

i don't know if i thought it would help, or if it would like. help me connect to people, or what

what am i even doin here dawg

like theres just this existential feeling of DREAD here. doomed timeline type shit lmfaoooo i don't know though i

it could bring something good

or this could be something terrible for me

or it could be like journaling. which i used to do in physical books, because i liked doodling back then, but, ive lost that hobby, so like

this exists

but i only journaled when i didn't have friends

i have friends

i think

i just understand that those friends don't want to listen to me. frankly i wouldn't either, i mean like. read this shit again. would you really wanna sit down with your bro and hear this type of shit i don't know. this kinda turned into. something horrible haha

i'm better mentally than i was 4 years ago but whats the point when i be bitchin and moanin and whinin like this still

point is:

i miss my friends. i miss yapping (at) with them. i miss having friends in the first place. i miss feeling like i'm home, kin wise. the irony of the matter is im LOCKED OUT OF THE HOUSE. instead of uhh (checks notes) HOMESTUCK.

haha. im so funny. haha. yeah. uh. ramble over for now. i might pick this shit back up.

[deathandthemaiden23]

Bro idk who's around me rn idk who's really still here in this fandom idk who will even see this or read it and i dont wanna get into it (proceeds to get into it) but ive been on a grand fucking expedition to confront past trauma and shit lately which whoopeee what else is new for what basically amounts to a dreamworks adult obsessed with the grim reaper from shrek specifically i think there's probably an actual good reason this is my biggest blorbo yet (which by the way, my good bitches, is truly saying something) beyond "big scary wolf sexy" but like anyways its been a hot fuckin second of me just sort of existing in purgatory with basically only this character to keep me real company the whole time chipping away at fanfic and makin doodles here and there while trying to solve the great big fuckin mystery of hey pal is there any particular reason you spend most of your free time fantasizing at length about being loved and cared for by literal fuckin death but um i kinda sorta had been making peace lately with the very real possibility that probably the only reappearances from Death we'd see going forward in this franchise would kinda just be relegated to stuff like being a playable character in that dumbass mario kart game they made recently that they had the audacity to charge $50 for the version with him in it and I was immediately prepared to shell out the fuckin money regardless anyways tldr this is my longwinded way of saying bless harvey fuckin guillen for supposedly saying he wants to reprise his role as perrito in shrek 5 and specifically mentioning he wanted to know more about his backstory including the near death experience he had in the sock that he still wears like ok let me be clear im not getting my hopes up for shit im super excited about the idea of harvey and everybody reprising their roles for future shrek installments but i know shit be disappointing sometimes and it just be like that sometimes blablabla alright nothing is set in stone in this cursed ass timeline we're in bbbbbbut

✨️H O W E V E R✨️

I cannot help but think in some kind of weirdly jaded optimism that surely dreamworks would not fucking let the absolute furry cashcow that Death is go to fucking waste if they're bringing shrek back to the big screen it just seems incredibly fuckin stupid this big fuckin bastard gave everyone a boner when last wish dropped to the extent that i actually didnt know anything about last wish going in to see it in theaters the first time knew nothing of the plot who was in it whatever right THE ONLY FUCKIN KNOWLEDGE I HAD OF LAST WISH PRIOR TO SITTING DOWN AND WATCHING IT WAS "OH I GUESS THERE'S A WOLF CHARACTER AND EVERYONE WANTS TO FUCK HIM" LMFAO UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE FUCKIN YEAR RIGHT LOL anyways if dreamworks doesnt seize the opportunity to give him at least one more like visible cameo appearance anywhere in whatever they can squeeze out of the shrek franchise after it was dead (lmfao) for like years (the puss in boots show is little known to anyone sadly and also it seems vaguely noncanonical if that makes sense stuff gets said on the regular in that show that just seems too batshit even for shrek standards) I'll genuinely like die of shock the entertainment industry is chock full of companies just like dreamworks always achin to get their hands on another iconic character they can squeeze money out of ad infinitum and like i dont want that to happen with Death I dont but also... please just let him show up at least one more time dreamworks throw this bitch a bone im begging you you will make so much money i promise u the thirsty tumblr fans are no joke we'll bankroll your ass to the moon and back

I feel it would be remiss of me not to offer some form of content after all this impassioned war and peace length solilioquy about the scu (shrek cinematic universe) so here's an old WIP from forever ago im like 90% i havent posted here (if i have oh fuckin well tbh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) its a lil scene from chapter 2 of my death fic where he gets caught redhanded picking flowers for his crush because he's a dork ass loser and wants to impress her without coming on too strong lmao like bro she's so into you just go for it

[sunscribed]

forest's whispers summary 2.0 because im a lazy motherfucker and im not writing that multichapter shit (this will be very badly explained i never take my explanations seriously)

for the wonderful @phantom-does-a-thing :3

tw/cw horror , implied gore , themes of death / self harm / sui , derealization

this takes place like during/after ep 99 if you want a timeline ref if you k ow the scene with them sitting by the navy tower i think that happened lmao cant remmeber its been a bit anyways

albatrio pass out, wake up in funky lil forest and are like "lets split up and find shit yk figure out where we are" adn chibo feels drawn to a funny silly path that he goes down! and then theres a lake an he's like "hrmm im thirsty :3" and drinks from it and passes out

wakes up half drowned now in the lake, gets yanked out by the other two, and then has a breakdown (as you do)

and now they go and adventure! but theres something fucked up about the funny forest and every time chibo schleeps we get kuba kinta curse shit but sooo much fucking worse we get several end of 97 vibe scenes where bro is in denial and isnt sure whats real and what isnt (love me some of that shit) all the while the forest is like out to get them theres shit attacking them every so often and chip ends up basically being out of commision really quickly so now its down to jay and gil to fight it off

and during one of these encounters with the very much so alive forest jay goes to defend chibo and basically gets taken (or killed depending on the timeline)

and this is where it diverges between my two timeline ideas

timeline a) gil either rescues jay or gets her out before she can be taken

timeline b) gil doesnt get to her in time and she gets taken (unbeknownst to them shes basically very gorily mauled to death)

both timelines would come to the end of the forest bit shortly after this

timeline a would have chip slowly deteriorating away (atp is puking up plants that fuck up his insides and blood and shit, this stuff also slowly gets worse with the new curse on him alongside the physical effects and injuries he gains) and jay n gil find somewhere where they think they could get him help, he ushers them both away and basically just lets himself die

we get a scene where the other two come back and theres a whole huge grief bit, gil basically is just bonkers as shit now because jesus fucking christ bro just died and they go and find some way to bring him back (not sure what exactly i have ideas tho) and yeah they inevitably bring him back but chibo is very fucked up (very physically damaged and his vocal cords are fucked up from shit lmao)

timeline b, however, is the more fun one

since they didnt get jay, gil goes searching for her and ends up finding her (very gorey) body and just had a breakdown then and there menawhile chip has just decided "im fuckin done i cant do this no more" and basically very violently pukes shit up and kinda claws his own gut open and just has a less peaceful death overall

gil basically had to watch this helplessly because they are frozen in fear and just anguish and now theyre in this tiny little alcove with the gorey bodies of their two best friends and they just go insane and end up just driving their sword through themself because they cant take this no more

so yeah i made that 👍 theres a sequel to timeline a with spittake and grizz but thats another topic for another time

here's my playlist for this au if you want it:

[squiddleknitted]

not sure why everyones in love with the new spiderverse just watched it and yeah people arent kidding its copaganda but more than that i feel like the writers are making some really weird narrative choices especially when it comes to who is or isnt sympathetic anyway ill drop spoilers under the readmore

are we seriously supposed to side with miles when hes attacking this spot guy like he has a point that he lost his job and his life was significantly negatively impacted and while its not right to place that blame on miles its also natural considering hes got no fucking support for dealing with this shit and now miles is trying to attack him for stealing from an atm like thats not even a person its the fucking bank hello hes not hurting anyone

other people have put this better than i will but they fuckin love cops in this but specifically something of note is that the spiderpeople are just increasibly comparable to cops gwen voice this mask is my badge you get miles running out of the room at the same time as his dad theres so many comparisons drawn but theres also ways theyre comparable in how they function and go about doing their thing to the extent that now we have a whole collection of spiderpeople running around doing multiverse cop work not to mention the timeline with no spiderman is suddenly full of crime

cannot wrap my head around hobie like why did they make this guy an annoying anarchist joke like please tell me you guys are seeing this right the anarchy for the sake of anarchy the contradicting buzzwords he reads as a conservatives idea of an anarchist and then suddenly he saves the day and doesnt get another line

the stuff with uncle aaron is fuckin weird to me too like maybe im misremembering but my impression of him was he was a good guy but apparently were supposed to believe that in the world in which he doesnt die he turns evil or whatever it kinda feels a little bit like were supposed to read that as a what if he lived scenario and thats pretty fucking offputting to me

[saulbaby]

Yknow I'm still reeling from tom Holland and mark Wahlberg in an uncharted movie as if fuckin nolan north and jk Simmons couldnt pull of the fucking sickest one last ride were too old for this shit style adventure movie of all time

[1007xf]

Random DST lore ideas

Basically just a myriad of thoughts and connections I made. One day I'll actually make a post/series of posts with a more well thought out timeline theory complete with images and in depth explanations but until then I'll make this less organized post where I just dump all my ideas! Enjoy ✌

Okay a quick one about Wanda. Her short doesn't tell us how she has time powers, but piecing together from her quotes, she seems to have made a deal in order to get them. Now, the thing is her deal was unlike the one of say, Wigfrid or Wilson. She didn't make it with Maxwell surely as they don't recognize eachother. We know it's someone allied with the shadows/Them rather than Alter (moon). So she probably had a deal with Them... just completely separate from Maxwell? Or she got her power like Maxwell and her tampering is also letting shadow creatures in the real world like the Codex Umbra. This isn't too big, Wanda isn't a lore relevant character, but I really like her so she gets a spot :3

This one is probably already known, but in the Walter short we can see a PR 76 in Woodies cabin. This means Woodie also made a deal with Maxwell. He probably either wanted his curse gone or Lucy back or something.

This seems pretty important. WX doesn't recognize the divining rod. This is important because it is literally a Voxola radio. Winona recognizes it. Okay, so what? Wagstaff simply made the radio after the whole WX fiasco, so after the were thrown in the Constant. But the problem is ... PR 76 , ML 77 (the gramophone), WX 78. Logically, the radio was made first, then the gramophone and THEN WX. So the radio would have ALREADY been made when WX was still around and working with Wagstaff. So this either means Wagstaff didn't tell them (which doesn't make a lot of sense? He has no reason to keep the radio of all things a secret. WX knew about the portal for Pete's sake) or Wagstaff... named his inventions in reverse order. Somehow. Which I wouldn't put past him. (Also he stops using that naming convince with his other invitations like thumper and goggles. Interesting.) Anyway this makes the Wagstaff timeline even more complicated than it already is. Yay.

Webbers dad has an alchemy engine, we know this. But he also has a pair of spectogoggles or whatever they're called. Another Wagstaff invention. Not lore relevant necessarily it just shows Wagstaff and dad were probably working for a longer time (also dont come at me with the they're related theory. Please. Those types of theories piss me off because they bring absolutely nothing substantial to the table. Also Webber would recognize Wagstaff is he were a relative.) Either that or Wagstaff is fucking Webbers dad and forgetting his shit in the guys home oops/j

CHARLIE AND MAXWELL ARE NOT METHEUS AND CYCLUM. That theory sucks and makes the potential lore of the Constant suck. They can be symbolic parallels but they're not eachother LITERALLY. Charlie and Maxwell were normal ass people before the Codex was found. I rest my case.

Charlie is trying to take over the Constant. That's her endgame. She already has the Shadow Throne powers, she only needs to take out Alter now. That's what she is doing in Axiom Visus. Trying to channel the power of the moon trough the tragic torch. Go girl fuck it up I guess

Some shit happened to Wagstaff. Like some crazy shit. Look at him in the WX short. His very... reserved. And worried. And doesn't look all that happy when he sees the consciousness transfer worked. Also he is clearly younger. He opposes WX because he is afraid of what problems their pursuit of innovation will bring. Ie the consequences of technological advances. Now look at Wagstaff in DS. The guy is insane. He is just so amazed by everything, he is fascinated when he gets attacked by Charlie, he wants to get on the Shadow Throne, he wants to bring the shadow magic to the real world for "military applications". That would absolutely bring consequences with it. Girl its 1920s they would start a fucking WAR. And he already showed being okay with transfering stuff from the Constant to the real world (see Webber short). The 2 Wagstaffs are very different. Something must have happened that made him change his mind so drastically. Klei give the old man a proper backstory I'm SO CURIOUS!!!

Wagstaff has a poster of a terrorbeak (probably an old ad for Maxwells show) in the portal room which is presumably his office (see Winona short). This could probably link him to Maxwell. Maxwells quotes for the moon storm DST event and his usage of Voxola products for access to the outside seem to show the 2 are closer than we thought.

The Forge and Gorge events may be inspired by 2 of the horsemen of the apocalypse War and Famine. This means that Pestilence and Death similar events could exist. Not a theory just a neat idea.

That's all for now! I swear one day I'll organize these. Feel free to make completions or suggestions or whatever! I need someone to nerd over this with >_<

[commanderfreddy]

ok it's the 24th here so i got my copy of Three Houses Two: Three More Houses and i figured before i started playing i'd write down my predictions but then it just turned into a wishlist, anyway here we are:

Arval

Artificial crest stone made by Agarthans - it was implanted in an Agarthan soldier during the war with the Nabateans and then ended up in Shez, so maybe the personality is the original mage's (or maybe all crest stones have personalities of their own even artificial ones [gross][cool])

Was definitely the dark mage in the opening cutscene

I want to see them get in a slap-fight with Sothis

Pre-demo I had the idea that they might also be an Original Nabatean From Space and I don't think that any more but I DO still hope that they know Sothis personally it Would Be Funny

Shez

Their adoptive mother will be important somehow

Definitely also experimented on as a baby - by Agarthans as a foil to Byleth being fucked up by Rhea

Their ability to control(? Or at least go in and out of) the Awakened state will be contrasted with Enlightened Byleth

Their whole Deal will help explain the mechanics of how crests work to the characters in-universe, they're like a missing link somehow

Church

Seteth and Flayn's hair colours being different earlier in the timeline but Rhea's staying the same is important (and the explanation will be dumb as hell)

Please please please let Claude tear down the church I am BEGGING

They know Arval exists but buried the lore along with all the sex-ed texts

There's probably some shit that Rhea and Seteth and Flayn legitimately do not know about their existence/heritage. I think if you told Flayn her foremother was an alien she would NOT believe you.

More Byleth lore (hopefully about Sitri and Jeralt, but most likely we're just gonna learn more about Sothis through Byleth)

Agarthans

Yeah there's gonna be a lot more of them (at least in terms of screentime).

Thales escaped so he's gonna show up again (and I think Kronya also escaped? Not sure though) and be a near-final boss of Scarlet Blaze

Please please please please Edelgard gets proper closure here. I know there's no way they could handle it effectively but I would like to see her explain to the Eagles what happened to her. Also can we please see what the BEagles thought about her siblings? Did they know they existed? What did they think happened?

Yo what if the Agarthans DID get to Monica at least somewhat. How funny would that be

I want to know the Jeritza + Agarthans lore. Arundel was the one who installed him as a professor at Garreg Mach, what the hell was THAT relationship like

Mechanics

You can recruit everyone to every route (just because it would be funny and I want to see Flayn off the shits)

New Game+ Golden Route (no not that one)

No church route lol

Milfs

Show them to me I know they're there the cast's genetics depend on them

PATRICIA LORE I NEED IT. SHOW ME.

Politics

I am actually pretty happy with how Scarlet Blaze started like "yeah Edelgard killing these motherfuckers in the government is the good timeline actually" but I am worried that golden route is gonna get on her ass about it

I cannot even begin to articulate how worried I am about the Almyran plotline.

If they actually get the Blue Lions to realise chivalry and obligation Bad Actually their entire house will be redeemed in my eyes (Azure Moon still sucks major ass but I Believe Azure Gleam Can Be Better)

At this point I'm just listing things I want. Can we get Anti Church Route where Seteth and Flayn take down Rhea themselves.

Fred Corner:

For the love of god if they don't do better by Bernadetta in playing her trauma for laughs I will start murdering people. They actually did a pretty good black comedy bit where she was disappointed they didn't arrest her dad but if I hear that goofy fuckin music in her supports its over

We are not getting paired endings :( I want to be wrong about this but it's just not that kinda game I dont think

[pebblesrus]

Eliot has a classic addictive personality - devotion and addiction are two sides of the same coin. I would like to join you in this niche addict!Eliot au/headcanon/naughty step.

Addicted to anything that will fill the hole (not drugs never drugs you're absolutely right) - and combined with The Worst AU is. Mm. Delicious. He's addicted to Moreau he's addicted to the team he loves it he hates it he needs it. How do you leave when you can't tell the difference between love and craving? When the thought of leaving cramps your stomach and makes your heart race and you gasp for breath - is it love or withdrawal?

Anyways. Pls share any and all thoughts you might have. <3

YEAH THAT’S THE THING. eliot is a collection of red flags but still has control over everything he does. but, the reason i don’t have a hc* about eliot being addicted to something is because i think he is but it’s pain so we don’t talk about it because it’s his job 

*to me, a hc is something that occurs inside canon and an au is something that occurs anywhere from just to the left of canon to outer space. this is a personal preference of how i differentiate them and is not actually important sorry 4 the sidebar 

under the cut bc this is a hard topic also bc i have a problem and it’s uhhh 4 pages long 

background 

so i kinda lost it in the comments on this post, finch i am deeply sorry 

this is too much ummmmmm so there exists in my brain a very niche au where eliot is addicted to…something. anything to take the pain away. alcohol. sex. pain itself. gambling. hell, stealing? he is working with a group of thieves after all. (but not drugs, never drugs. nothing more than an ibuprofen if alec really begs with his eyes. bc if he goes down that path he’ll never be strong enough to come up for air) 

and like. his addition informs his whole relationship with nate and calling nate out on his shit. eliot’s personally gone too far (he’s not worth helping) but nate is a Good Man who had something awful happen to him (eliot is a bad man who did something awful). but at some point he starts to trust the team with bits and pieces of this Problem etc etc. but hell au version like. it just all goes real fuckin wrong HUH

i have a post somewhere abt nate & eliot & alcohol its just so compelling 2 me 2 compare characters in ways that no one should

so i did find the time i talked about eliot and nate and addition, here, cut down for relevant portions:

do you ever wonder if eliot doesn’t drink (to the point of drunk) because he’s afraid of who it will make him? because alcohol is a drug and drugs make him lose control.

because control is the only thing that keeps him together. without it—it’s harder to not kill someone who hurts others (like he used to) and it’s easier to forget who he used to be.

nathan ford, furnace of rage, drank because he hurt and he couldn’t live all his pain. but eliot knows nothing but pain—how to endure it, how to inflict it—but he doesn’t know who he would be without it.

“you ever count them?”  “there’s nothing you can do, no punishment you can hand out that’s worse than what i live with every day. so, to answer your question, no. no, I haven’t counted. i don’t need to.”

if he could (artificially) drown himself, would he ever come up for air?

okay so as i said, my general hc for eliot is that he does not need a vice because his job is his vice, because, well, 

“you fight like something's trying to get out of you.”

but, for an au with an addiction (but not hell au) 

i think the addition would start after moreau. because the two worst parts of eliot’s life were working for a pmc and working for moreau. after the pmc toby saved him. but after moreau? it takes seven years before he is fully free of his past (end of s5). [timeline, for reference]

and if he’s going to get addicted to something, it’s gotta be in at least the 3 years between moreau and joining leverage. 

another thing i wrote earlier was,

“the worst thing i ever did in my entire life i did for damien moreau. and i— i'll never be clean of that.”

the thing is, eliot never denies that he did bad things. he never tires to justify them. he never—okay so what i said on an earlier post was, there might be a single “worst” act he’s committed but what’s more damaging‚ more of a reason he does not deserve happiness‚ is that the worst thing is what was done to him and what he allowed himself to do and what that made him become. nothing fucks u up like thinking things aren’t Bad Enough until you look back 3 years later and ur brain has been rewired [x]

and also,

“every one of moreau's men has innocent blood on their hands, every one of ‘em. every one of ’em... are worse than me.”

it starts with they’ve got blood on their hands but he doesn’t say they’ve done worse than him. he says they are worse than him. because it’s not about the act it’s about the person you have to be to complete that act. the worst thing he’s ever done—t’s not the bloodiness he doesn’t want the team to know about, it’s the inhumanity. [x]

all of this to say, eliot doesn’t lie—he doesn’t even try to lie. he never pretends he’s a good man. [x]

so in this entire decade where all he can see when he closes his eyes are the faces of the people he’s killed, 

there’s this quote i like about addiction—every addiction arises from an unconscious refusal to face and move though your own pain. every addiction starts with pain and ends with pain. whatever the substance you are addicted to—alcohol, food, legal or illegal drugs, or a person—you are using something or somebody to cover up your pain. (eckhart tolle)

eliot can’t face his pain anymore. being freelance means he doesn’t get in fights often enough to hide the real pain behind bruised ribs. so he turns to something else. i honestly can’t choose what. there’s a good argument for many addictions, all except actual painkillers. 

an au with addiction, hell au version 

i think that moreau would not let eliot have an addiction. 

i also think that moreau knows eliot. he sees the possibly and takes it away. i talk about eliot as an enforcer for moreau but i think that he’s more than that—not even getting to the personal level of things (that he means more to moreau)—in a purely employer-employee-transactional way, eliot is too valuable to the organization to take hits. so moreau doesn’t let him. doesn’t let him have any outlet. he controls every other part of eliot’s life, why not this too?

(uhh this is kinda related, but i have a pre canon hc where moreau pits his men against each other like a dog fight. and when eliot has pissed him off he throws eliot in but eliot is Not Allowed to take hits. it’s not that eliot cares about the men he works with, but like, he's trying to forget what he’s doing on a day to day basis, he doesn’t want to come home to more of it, he doesn’t want to have to look his coworker in the face tomorrow to see the violence in him reflected in the form of a black eye etc etc (yeah......u dont wanna be in my brain))

SO ANYWAY. in the hell au i think the addiction would happen later. not post moreau because there is no post moreau. it would happen exactly when no one would suspect it—when he’s about to get out. 

he’s spent six years with moreau, 2 years with the team, and he’s a fucking disaster, because, as i said in another post, 

he cooks for damien because he cares, he cooks for the team because he cares. [x] he is damien’s personal guard dog because he cares, he is the team’s hitter because he cares. damien is in danger when he’s off robin-hood-ing, the team is in danger when he goes home (literally or figuratively) to moreau. 

and it’s not love…..but is it? and how is he supposed to choose [x]

like you just said, he’s addicted to the team, he’s addicted to moreau. 

love and dependency look a lot a like when you see the world through blood stained glasses (or, the world is blurry because you couldn’t stand the red flecks that stuck to the lenses that you could never seem to completely scrub off).

so, while he is playing cat and mouse with himself and moreau is putting him through the wringer worse than ever before and the team is counting on him to take down the man he might actually be loyal too—

it’s all too much. 

and he turns to this addiction. 

he’s doing enough jobs, taking enough hits to make any other addict cave. but it’s still not enough. this is eliot spencer. after all. he’s got 9 lives worth of trauma. he needs 18 lives of penance. 

again, 

“you fight like something's trying to get out of you.”

“what i need to control is not out there. it's here. always.”

“every one of ‘em. every one of ’em... are worse than me.”

“there’s nothing you can do, no punishment you can hand out that’s worse than what i live with every day.“

and now, in this hell au, the only good thing he’s ever had in his life—this team, the only people who have ever looked at him like he’s a Person and not a Monster—he’s about to destroy. 

so he drowns all that in something.