#anyways yeah fuck everything i just wanna see my friend bro when r u free-

[autistic-katara]

why did my dysphoria have to choose right now to get rlly bad-

[halfhappyhooligan]

a voltron au? in 2020? it’s more likely than you think

look. LOOK. i know that voltron is stupid and we hate it but lets be honest: everything up until season 3 was pretty good and had lots of potential !!

today i was rewatching voltron and a thought struck me: what if, instead of shiro being cloned, he was chipped and turned to the side of the galra?

so here it is, i did not blink since i thought of this

(warning, i have not seen voltron in a while and this is just knowledge i have stored in my moss brain and stuff i know from rewatching the first season)

au where shiro goes evil bc of what happens @ end of season one instead of the clone thing bc 1) haggar rly could not have made thousands of shiros after bumping into team voltron like what twice? its hella improbable and 2) just… weird

so instead they insert a chip in him that helps them spy and control him just like kuron (the clone) did minus the unlikely storytelling

eventually after the convo with sendak when he was in the pod trying to temp shirp, he does have thoughts about helping zarkon

(“im already infiltrated with the arm, i could just speed up the process by leaving now. save the team the trouble of investing in a leader that’s doomed to fail from the strart.”)

shiro ends up leaving team voltron in season 2 after zarkon goes crazy w the black lion n stuff

^^ this adds to Keith’s reasoning of joining the Blade of Marmora (shiro is his main stability and one of the main reasons he even stuck around with team voltron, so with shiro gone and keith questioning his place as the leader and paladin of the black lion, he decides the BoM is just.. what’s best for him) 

obviously lance isn’t happy with this (“you just told me that i’m a valuable member, now you don’t think YOU are? what logic is that?”)

ofc keith goes anyways

lance becomes paladin of the black lion

allura takes on the red lion

who has blue lion? ...idk this isn’t that thought out (maybe matt after pidge finds her family) (which will happen earlier in the plot since we can forget about the miniplot of black no longer responding to shiro)

enter lotor only this time he has a sidekick and what omg its shiro wow

shiro has that bigger version of his arm that was once offered to him

he’s stronger and scary, but his eyes aren’t the same, he has the strength of a galra but lacks the passion 

in the fight between lotor and zarkon, (and after, of course lots of self doubt and questioning) shiro comes between them and convinces lotor NOT to kill zarkon

then zarkon kills lotor

everyones like oh shit bc surely someone who’s life was just spared wouldn’t kill the person who seems to have the most power

but he did. bc he’s zarkon. and he’s fckn crazy.

shiro doesn’t go back to team voltron bc its too much too easily

instead he takes the place of lotor in the group of gals 

he convinces them all to rebel against the galra

eventually they teach him all about quintessence and all the shit lotor had planned that they can’t do anymore

(lotor wasn’t harvesting alteans in this universe bc what the heck even was that subplot that had little to no relevance to the main storyline?

instead he was trying to find a way to technologically bring back alteans (kinda like how allure’s dad was originally preserved in s1)

i know nothing about How Stuff Works and i dont remember much about quintessence n shit but the basic idea is that when tying in some of a persons artifacts with technology stuff and some quintessence then boom. a weird route from astral projection land to the team is created and ppl can come back or smth idfk

but lotor was never able to get the comet so shiro decides he and the gals will get that comet and try to bring back as many alteans as they can

^ all this while infiltrating as many galra fleets as possible + saving planets under galra empire

they personally visit every planet that lotor was in charge of and release them from galra control

they are able to bring back an altean (its romelle) and she talks abt her friend who lives on the balmera and they go to the balmera and its revealed that it was shay’s great grandmother so romelle asks where shay is and shay’s family is like with team voltron of course

so

they take her

obviously team voltron, the BoM and the Rebels r very hesitant to make contact but they decide to try it out

keith refuses to meet, instead he’s on the team that stands guard

reunions !! 

romelle and shay hit it off and hunk makes a dinner much like roselle’s past (allura and coran also hang out and they all vibe)

lance talks to shiro abt everything to do with keith and shiro is like dude do u??? like him?

and lance is like what? no ofc not—oh shit.

and keith ✨overhears ✨

pidge matt and shiro catch up n shit

meanwhile keith is like Hey Lance Uhhhhhh What The Fuck

they end up being like hey since we’re all here and we hate zarkon what if we make a plan to end the galra’s reign Right Now

so they do

and y’all.. it’s hella baller plan

except something is going wrong and in the middle of an attack zarkon is able to get the upper hand 

due to haggar’s magic and lance’s mental and emotional instability, zarkon is able to get in his head

everyone is trying to talk him down but they’re all under a lot of pressure

allura is also conflicted bc she wanted to be black lion bc she wanted to rub it in to zarkon’s face that she was stronger than he and that she could beat him at his own game

but the negativity and instability feeds into zarkon’s power and makes him and haggar stronger as they pull in voltron to finally take over the team and regain their status as the most powerful alien race

hunk realizes this and is like okay can y’all stop being negative? its clearly affecting them in a good way and it makes us an easier target

and pidge is like im literally a child pls i don’t wanna die i just got my family back it can’t end like this

shiro realizes what’s going on and he goes to save them

he uses all his energy, pulling in the positive memories (everything: first learning about space, becoming a teacher, meeting adam, meeting keith, first making team voltron, his friends and family--all of it) to push back zarkon and haggar’s powers and battle once more in the astral realm 

in defeating zarkon, shiro loses his life

afterwards keith enters the ship in a hurry and is like where the fuck is shiro where’s my brother what did you do what happened

and team voltron is like hey man.. we are so so sorry

and keith cries because the last thing he ever said to shiro was mean

lance feels like its all his fault since he was supposed to be a good leader

they talk about separately while hunk pidge and allura discuss

krolia is like keith we, ur family, are here for u

and axca is there and shes like um?? hey?? sry for trying to kill u bro

and he’s like i absolutely do not wanna talk i just lost my closest friend

they talk about it later

axca tells keith abt shiro finishing lotor’s work and abt bringing people back and well.. 

they use the methods to help keith visit shiro in the astral realm

shiro is like oh uh hey i was just having a drink w adam we r happy

and keith is like shiro u fuckhead why would u sacrifice urself

shiro sighs bc cmon keith you KNOW why “remember what i always said? we can’t focus on what went wrong..”

“we’ve got to figure out how to make it right” keith finishes

keith breaks tf down crying and screams apologizing

“i love u shiro. ur a like a big brother to me.”

and shiro is like yeah i know and ilyt but hey. everyone’s safe and happy. im safe and happy. & you deserve to be too. you don’t need me anymore.

so the galra rule is over and everyone goes to their respected planets

romelle and the other alteans as well as some galra babes hang in earth

romelle and shay r in an apartment together and have a garden

allura realizes she may not have been the strongest leader for voltron, and  couldn’t stop zarkon on her own but that physical strength doesn’t define her as a whole

her heart is strong enough to care for everyone, so thats what she does

allura starts running an inn for alteans filled with painted sceneries like altea in case anyone ever needs a reminder of home

when lance reunites with his family its a real tearjerker

rachel finally gets her jacket back and veronica is like So.. Axca 👀

the McClain’s host a huge party for everyone and it’s filled with lots of hugs and loud music and even tho lance was way too tired, he danced all night

he wouldn’t trade his family for the world—genetic and chosen

when hunk reunites with his parents they don’t let him out the house for hours, he tells them all about his new best friend shay as well as hundreds of his favorites stories from space

they are so, so proud of him

hunk spends the next days playing minecraft and animal crossing with pidge, giving their brains a rest from being on hyperdrive for 3 yrs straight

when pidge gets home she finally gets grounded by her mom, only being allowed to leave the house to see her old teammates

(same for matt and her dad)

(her mother cries so hard when they opened the door to the home)

the holt family holds movie nights filled with popcorn, cuddles, and tears

keith moves in with the holt family, and finally accepts that he has a home as well as a family

he often goes on trips with the BoM but mostly just stays on earth

after a Team Voltron sleepover in the altea inn keith and lance decide to get an apartment together and live their lives in love and in peace

everyone gets together once a year in celebration of shiro and the sacrifice he made for them

they use the ship to visit Astral Shiro and once they even met adam

everyone laughs and catches up and just... live their lives

everyone is happy

pls ignore any and all errors lmao

again, just a thought !! maybe i’ll write a fic abt it idk for sure but yeah

feel free to add anything <3

[smutty-ki113r]

I only showed him the one u sent before. I screenshot ur answers and then look at it when i switch. but I'll show him the other two.

well for me it's just that only my recent ex was actually nice and loving. before him; every single one of them told me; I was either boring or annoying and always made me feel like everything was my fault. so yeah. I am actually pretty confident now but I struggle with those negative thoughts still.

well it's like not the same phone? it's a copy...I can't post or look at posts. only gallery, notes and yt works (but also only for watching videos and listening to music). so i usually screenshot what I want to show them. idk if it's like that for everyone. but i just can't concentrate without music or videos in the background; i think that's why i have it.

yeah toby does talk about masky lmao. also abt hoodie. he offered to introduce me but I am scared lol; they r intimidating ngl

AW OMG tysm! well egg (first mythical oc) can fly since he got wings. she makes clothing and can communicate via telepathy. she's genderfluid btw :> and can also heal minor injuries with ✨magic✨. dusty is my boiiiii💕 i love him sm. he can create a void with his mouth or teleport; with or without others by his side. he uses ultrasound, since he is blind. big cuddle puppy. and then we have (dr.prof.mr.) newton nugget; he is a doctor and can scan u for any like irregularities and heal u. will give u free top surgery (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

why would writing be different?? it's still an original character lol. and also...u don't understand. i am super attached to my oc's too!! i even daydream abt being in a poly relationship with two of them-

send me the thing, I wanna read it bestie! :>>>

DUDE ILYSM u r beginning to be such a big part of my happieness and ngl it's kinda scary since I have a fear of loosing ppl I love... but anyways... *virtual hug* u r awesome and perfect the way u r! thank u for being so supportive.

-🃏

Damn it’s a copy???!! Insane man, WAIT SO YOU SC ALL MY FICS LIKE PAGE BY PAGE??? Awww i also love music but I can’t concentrate with it cause I jam out too hard. IF I SAW MASKY I WOULD PROBABLY CRY and stand in a corner. I think he would be confused but id just start sobbing into the corner.

Bro egg sounds so cool- i wish i had magic. The only magic i have is writing smut, god is cruel. ACTUALLY FUCK THAT ITS THE BEST POWER EVER. Dusty sounds awesome too! I want free top surgery. I WANT ONE. Please please PLEASE. Yeahhhhh you’re right they are my oc’s, im not really attracted to them. Just like they’re my kids and i see them as my entire life. TFUTYLGIUOHIP*Y&TYUFTK

I’ll post my piece!! Ngl i feel like a tinder profile. BEN PLEASE SWIPE RIGHT- haoshgpuahgpu but anyway- you aren’t boring, or annoying in any way. The people that told you that are shits and never knew you well enough to care, you never deserved that. I’ve had people tell me that too, one guy said I was an “emotional burden” and another told me I was boring him. But he plays basketball 💀 so he had no room to talk, my friend literally says he looks like a mango 🥭. If you ever wanna talk about that stuff im here ya know, you can always dm me too. I tend to hold on to the past cause trauma hit me HARD, but imma do a burn ceremony today so I can let go ✨. I have huuuuugggeggeeee abandonment issues, comes with the borderline, so I understand. YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY! *hugs you back* muah muah! Ill always be supportive!!

[itsclownhours]

merlin as tumblr posts again because when i edited a typo in the original it fucked up the formatting

everyone: you have to make time for yourself

morgana: *stays up until 1 am every night crying* me time

.

morgana: ohhhh so the pain is forever and endless i get it now

.

young!mordred: once i learn how to read and write it’s over for you hoes

.

lancelot, in cursive: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: what does this say

elyan: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: bitch me neither that’s why i asked

.

arthur, to merlin, about lancelot: is he...y’know…*gestures downard to super hell*

.

uther, straight: hey what’s up guys do you want to go get some food

arthur and morgana, gay: ??????

uther: oh sorry i mean asgdhjdhs guys do you??? want some food??? lmao ashdjdjhs

arthur and morgana: oh! agshdjjshsj yeah lmao agshdj

.

morgana: do you ever associate the word “girlfriend” with wlw so much that you forget straight boys have girlfriends

.

gwen: am taking care of a tiny kitten. have given it an excellent name. dad thinks i’m calling her “minty” but this is actually short for The Government

gwen: The Government bit my finger and pooped on the floor

.

gwaine: peak art is when you were like six and you scribbled all over ms paint and then carefully paintbucketed in all the different shapes in the scribbles to make “stained glass”

.

morgause: forcing my car to commit sins so it goes to hell with me when i die

.

leon, after arthur gives the knights a pep talk: so motivational...time to drill a hole in my skull

.

morgana: i want to be a she really did that!! kind of girl but i don’t do anything

.

arthur: pros and cons of being my friend:

arthur: pro: you have a friend

arthur: con: it’s me

.

gwaine, to lancelot: bro let’s watch a horror movie together...bro you look scared do you wanna share a blanket dude? if you wanna hold hands it’s ok. if you wanna rest your head on my shoulder it’s alright bro...bro if you wanna kiss that’s understandable that was a scary movie...we can keep cuddling after the movie is over it’s alright dude…

.

lancelot: old town road but he just keeps listing all the places he has horses

gwaine: i got the horses in the back

gwaine: horses on the track

gwaine: horses in the shack and i got horses fetching snacks

gwaine: i got the horses in earth’s core

gwaine: down under the floor

gwaine: horses in the store and i got horses on the moor

.

gwaine: died and came back as a cowboy i call that reintarnation

.

morgana: *shows up at college* excuse me will someone please direct me to the leftist brainwashing class? i’m here for the leftist brainwashing class

.

merlin: finally found someone i was more disappointed in that myself: the entirety of america camelot

.

morgause: customer (derogatory)

.

arthur: business major (derogatory)

.

leon: leonardo dicaprio date a woman over 25 challenge

gwaine: thought that said “leonardo da vinci” and was confused since da vinci was gay and also since you were calling out someone who’s been dead for well over 7 years

leon: well. da vinci has been well over 7 years, i’ll give you that

.

morgana: the retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. i’ve had enough

.

gwaine: i’m fucking in luigi’s mansion

leon: who?

gwaine: some italian freak

gwaine: oh you meant who am i fucking. your mom

.

leon: stop setting things on fire because you’re curious about what will happen. what will happen is fire

gwaine: but what if...something else happens. just this 1 time

.

morgause: bored? burn an orphan. who’re they gonna tell? their parents?

.

morgana: due to personal reasons i will be a serial arsonist

.

mithian: fruit (affectionate)

.

arthur: going to the fruit (derogatory) store do you want anything

.

gwen: fruit (salad, yummy yummy)

.

morgana, to gwen: i’m allergic to hookup culture and too weird to participate anyway. die in my arms

.

kilgharrah: i am fast and full of teeth. i will die in a barn fire

.

morgana: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana: evil again

.

morgause: every day i put on my evil little clothes and do my evil little tasks

.

percival: megan thee stallion and timothee chalamet are the same age

gwaine: megan thee stallion 🤝 timo thee chalamet

.

morgana: hey how many swords do you have

morgause: sword of a lot

morgana: blocked

morgause: parried

.

morgana and gwen simultaneously in 1x10: *chanting* girls with swords girls with swords

.

morgana: the more knives you have the more valid you are

.

kilgharrah: blocked. blocked. blocked. you’re all blocked. none of you are free from sin.

.

morgana: seven deadly sins speedrun

.

gwaine: i want 6 pet sloths so i can name them after every sin except for sloth

.

merlin: the eighth deadly sin is networking

.

arthur: online school culture is constantly wondering if there’s a sneaky little assignment you missed...is it tucked under modules or assignments or heaven forbid, announcements? who’s to say?

.

gaius: asynchronous learning

merlin, a clown: mmmnaptime

.

arthur: have you ever just cried because you’re you

.

elyan, to percival: bro, we are teens . it’s ok to cry around me . i’m your best friend . i love you … bro we are kissing now … no don’t stop bro … bro …

.

morgana: mad bc i was told as the bride my wedding would be “my day” but actually where will be a whole other bride there and we will have to share it

.

leon: i’m disgusted every time someone does a gender reveal and it’s about a gender i already know about, what kind of reveal is that

.

leon: gender reveal party??? no, this is a gender repeal party. we out here revoking genders

.

gwaine: you’re laughing. i asked you who sings party rock anthem and you’re laughing

.

gwaine: make no mistake not only am i party rocking but i’m also in the house tonight

elyan: are you shuffling?

gwaine: everyday

.

morgana: lung extensions

morgana: with extended lungs you can: scream longer, breathe harder, brag about extended lungs

morgana: this procedure is not legal but i will do it for you

morgana: do not tell the police or morgause

.

morgana: i’m so sick of dna, i’m going to have all mine removed

morgause: good news! this is a real thing that can happen to you

morgana: perfect, sign me up

.

morgana: if YOU die because i poisoned you...how is that MY fault like i’m sorry you aren’t immune to my poisons i think that’s genuinely something you need to work on. fix yourself before blaming others

.

arthur: my body is NOT a “temple”...it is a CLOWN CAR and NONE OF THESE BITCHES KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

.

morgause: live

morgause: laugh

morgause: l u r k

.

mcdonald’s employee: please sir get off the table

gwaine: I ASKED FOR TWO LARGE FRIES *dumping bag of fried out onto the floor* BUT INSTEAD GOT A HUNDRED FUCKEN LITTLE ONES

.

merlin: i relate to vampires because i too must be clearly and specifically invited in before i have the audacity to try to participate in anything

.

gwaine: it can’t be september, just yesterday is was marchgustuary

lancelot: today’s date: [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]/20

.

gwaine: why are internet friends not normalized. it’s 2020 they’re probably making robots that will wipe your ass for you and i can’t text grace in the uk and tell her to have a good day? fuck you

.

percival: imagine if halsey was in beauty and the beast

elyan: are you insane like gaston. been in pain like gaston. bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like gaston

.

arthur: my dad is learning about pronouns/gender identity and he called me in the middle of the night to tell me he is cis

.

merlin: ough. those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good. maybe the next one will be better

.

morgana: i’m at the dark candy store, buying sorrowful ranchers

.

merlin: i’m surprised no one has ever punched me in the face

.

gwen: i want a gf so i can send her memes about loving my gf

.

morgause: oh to cook with my wife and stand directly in front of cabinets and drawers she needs to open

.

morgause: decided i will no longer be paying taxes. what are they gonna do, tax me more? go ahead. i won’t pay those either. oh i’m going to prison? the one paid for by my tax dollars? sorry, didn’t pay em. now there is no prison. i am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times

.

merlin: lab safety but the teacher just wants to you die

merlin: lab safety: 1. drink whatever’s in that beaker. i know you fucking want to

.

morgause: my therapist is selling her house so i’m gonna find the listing online and make her living room my zoom backgrounds before our next session. you wanna get in my head? ok well i’m in your home babe. i’m in charge now

morgana: yeah i see why you’re in therapy

.

morgana: i hate it when people ask me to “explain my thought process” like hell if i know

morgana: what’s going on in that head of yours?” nothing i want to be a part of

.

mordred: hey girls what’s the hot gossip what’s new what’s the 411

morgana and morgause: everything is bad and getting worse by the day

.

morgause: common letter greetings from 1889

morgause: dearest my-soon-to-be-enemy

morgause: salutations and i hope you enjoy contact prison

morgause: i hope this letter finds you in a ditch

.

arthur: *highlights all the wrong and unimportant stuff with full confidence*

.

merlin: i’ve tried opening my mouth and saying words before and i’ve gotta say, i’m not a fan

.

morgana: a large group of humans is called a fuck that

.

website: synonyms for blood: juice

mithian: thank you thesaurus.com, that is absolutely not what i was looking for

.

gwaine: gen z humor was single-handedly cultivated by the zoo wee mama comic and you can’t convince me otherwise

.

morgana: screw this it’s halloween now *turns into a swarm of bats them consumes the moon*

.

morgana: i can’t believe the heterosexuals are gone. they’re gone

uther: we’re still here

arthur: who said that

.

gwaine: no more france

gwaine: society has progressed passed the need for france

.

morgause: girls night out (of body experience)

.

morgana, to morgause: what do you mean “what have i been up to”...i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch

.

merlin: stop complaining about your life. there are literally people living in camelot

.

arthur, trying to find new knights: oh so you’re a human? name three pictures with traffic lights in them

.

gwaine: we mcfreaking lost her doctor

.

morgause: looking for a wife in the walmart

.

morgause: arrested for visiting www.killing.com/murder

.

gwaine, to merlin: no bro this isn’t a date listen bro

gwaine: it’s bruhnch

.

morgause, to cenred: if you think i’m not interested, you’re right

.

gwen: put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe

.

morgana: idk what mad scientist needs to hear this today but your goggles and lab coat are incredibly flattering and all your experiments will block away the scientific community who called you a fool

.

morgause: i’m gonna fucking die disease

morgause: symptoms: back hurts a bit too much for a bit too long

.

arthur: if you think i’m annoying now wait until i get over my fear of being perceived as annoying

.

merlin: sorry if i’m bothering you

surgeon: how do you keep waking up and saying that

.

gwaine: home depot needs more small tunnels for me to crawl through tbh

.

percival: hot tip: soup is customizable! go wild but know your limits

.

morgana: brains say “i know a spot” and take you to a traumatic memory from 2011

.

mithian: “can you multitask” yes actually i am losing my mind and chilling at the same time

.

morgana: quarantine schedule to keep you on track

morgana: wake up

morgana: neglect online school

morgana: yearn (ongoing project)

morgana: again!

.

mithian: if cats don’t want to be held like little babies maybe they shouldn’t be roughly the size and shape of little babies

.

morgause: fuck this pandemic i could’ve ruined 2020 on my own

.

morgana: a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her for some fucking reason “damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp” and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently

.

morgana: oh to wear a knife strapped against my thigh beneath a silk dress

.

morgana, running off with morgause at the end of season 2: i hate this place i want to go to build a bear

.

morgana, at work: i’m evil

morgana, 1 second after clocking out: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana, the next day at work: evil again

.

season 2 morgana: i am fine thank you for asking! though recently there has been a darkness growing within me

.

morgause: *thinks about love* okay well i am just losing my mind and being insane now

.

arthur: you think you can hurt my feelings? i’ve been the least favorite in every single friendship group i’ve had since i was 8

.

morgana, staring out the window at arthur and merlin: look at them plotting my downfall

.

mithian: i wanna buy clown noses in bulk and start sticking them on every person i see whose mask is pulled too low

.

mithian: oh to be a tiny cat whose biggest concern is the looming threat of being gently picked up and kissed on the head

.

morgana: i deserve to be kissed

.

morgana: did you have a homoerotic friendship with a girl in high school that ended in tragedy and you two are never talking again or are you normal?

.

mithian: just diagnosed with forehead kiss deficiency :/

.

morgana: i think i’ll continue to wear a mask when this shit’s all over, and huge sunglasses. my face is none of your business

.

morgause: my therapist told me that sometimes when a person consumes the same piece of media over and over they may be unconsciously coping with a mental block so now i’m trying to figure out what the fuck i was going through that made me watch ratatouille 8 times a day for a solid month in middle school

.

morgause: opposite of depression nap. depression awakeness. refreshing the same three websites over and over. there’s nothing new on any of them. eight seconds have passed and it feels like a century

.

morgana: very homophobic that my head is not laying on the chest of my maidservant as i am drifting off to sleep

.

merlin: no no, it’s fine, i’ll text myself back

.

morgana: *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns*

.

arthur: i’d have to be a fool not to? being a fool and not doing things are my top two activities

.

gwaine: you think it’s easy to be me? you think it’s easy to get up every. single. day. and be an industrial grade dumbass? well it’s not. but that’s what i do. and i’ll never stop.

.

morgana: ah shit i’m sorry man, my schedule for the week is all booked

sunday: yearn

monday: pine

tuesday: long

wednesday: ache

thursday: sigh

friday: lament

saturday: crave

.

morgana: talents include: being a public menace, denying God’s will, petting dogs, yearning, being dramatic, witchcraft, quoting classic literature when no one asked, napping, befriending a murder of crows, being gay, covering up my emotions by being “the funny friend” when in reality i’m really going through it, wistfully staring out the car window

.

merlin: *doesn’t even do the bare minimum* all in a day’s work

.

cenred: a “period” is not an excuse to have an attitude

morgause: i miss the times when men would go to war and die

.

morgana: the cheap halloween vampire fangs stay ON during sex

.

gwen: maybe i pspspspsp’ed you because i love you. did you think of that? huh?

.

morgana: mom said it’s my turn to hand out the ominous and vague warnings

arthur: that wasn’t mom

uther: she JUST SAID it was her turn

.

morgause: i’m a chill person but if my back doesn’t stop hurting i’m going to take out my spine and beat God with it

.

mithian: one of these days i’m going to say the f word

mithian: then you’ll all be sorry

.

morgause: 3 words every girl wants to hear

morgause: club penguin membership

.

morgana: hmm, yes.

morgana: time to s i p

morgana: some *~crispy~*

morgana: d i h y d r o g e n m o n o x i d e

.

morgause: roll call! raise your hand if you’re in the following fandoms:

morgause: 1. suffering 2. the pain of living

morgana: *raises both hands and a leg*

.

leon: it’s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager

.

merlin: yeah bro hit me up and we’ll cancel some plans sometime

.

morgana: my brain, or as i like to call it, the suffer contraption

.

morgause: my circle so small i almost cut myself off

.

morgause hyping herself up before entering any public area: i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal

.

arthur: today in french we learned how to say “what’s in the bag” and i couldn’t stop laughing because

arthur: swaggity swag qu’est-ce qui dans le sac

.

merlin: even when i am not speaking, know that horrible sentences are raging within me

.

mithian in 5x04: sorry bro i can’t go out tonight. i’m stuck in an eternal state of melancholy

.

morgause: shower gel label: immerse yourself in this new “Me Time” luxury frooty tooty. abandon all sense of identity and dissolve your memories into this soothing chemical broth. one billion melons are in this tube...use them wisely

.

leon, writing a headline about the most recent knights’ mission: local dumbasses knew that what they were getting themselves into and did it anyways

.

morgana: *feels random pain in body*

morgana: kill me

.

mithian: *slowly inches closer to your pet*

.

morgause: *refuses to look at texts* i love conversation and communication

.

arthur: cute gender neutral things to call your partner

arthur: significant annoyance

.

leon: the most unrealistic fantasy trope is the one where half of the pair works in some sort of shop and one is a customer because i have literally never thought about a customer with anything other than contempt

.

gwaine: why is everyone talking about 1d all of a sudden did one of them die

elyan: they’re 10 years old now

gwaine: i wish them luck 4th grade is tough!!

.

gwaine: must i pursue a career? is it not enough to be passionate about tv shows and snack foods?

.

leon, aroace: cool date idea: me eating oatmeal by myself

.

morgana: i have no self of steam

.

gwaine: i hate wearing a mask. i miss being able to gently kiss my trader joe’s cashier on the lips after they ring up my $8 box of blueberries

.

morgana: committing acts of violence today…*pushes morgause’s glass of water off the counter*

.

gwaine: mario will do anything to put a smile on your face

.

morgana: haha we get along so well...our brains just work the same way

morgause, after changing her entire personality to match morgana’s after analyzing the way she talks and texts: haha yeah it’s incredible

.

gwaine: covered in sauce, trembling

.

arthur: *says the vaguest most incoherent shit ever*

arthur: you know what i mean :/

.

[online]

morgana: *screenshots things her girlfriend said to her so she can read it again later* yeah i’m not gay

uther: dude no offence i don’t want to sound like an sjw or anything but if you have a girlfriend you’re straight. that’s just how it works

morgana: i’m a girl

uther: what the fuck

.

morgana: the second you say “family group chat” i know we are not the same

.

gwen: what if early in the morning after buying groceries we got caught in the rain and i used my jacket to cover your head ut we still got soaked and we made a fire at home and brewed tea and sat together watching the rain as our cats hid under our feets at each sound of thunder and we ate stew for dinner and watched tv until we fell asleep on the couch with your head resting on my shoulder

.

gwaine, to percival: hold my hand bro we’re crossing the street

.

percival: imageine if we all just started ignoring celebrities though

percival: i can’t stop thinking about how funny this would be. imagine kyie jenner posting a selfie and it gets 12 likes

.

morgana: this isn’t fun anymore i need a kiss

.

morgause at 1159 pm: life’s great lol

morgause at 1201 am: does anyone really know me? most importantly do i really know me? what if life doesn’t get better than this?

.

merlin: king i needbfjdjgnjfg qldkr snmsmdjgjt ….. .. i need--fjrjkrhgphpqn dd

arthur: huh *dunks merlin’s head back underwater*

.

morgana: i don’t go to therapy or take any pills i just rawdog life and let my brain turn into soup

.

mordred: dark emails

morgause: to whom it WILL concern

morgana: now that this email has found you

.

gwaine: hi waiter could i get the spaghetti i promise i’ll behave this time

.

merlin: the sexiest thing about me? everything hurts my feelings

.

gwaine: how is sex fun if i have to remove my crocs to have it

elyan: if he makes you remove your crocs for sex he isn’t the one

.

morgause: a motherfucker could use an embrace

.

morgana: every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep

.

fanfiction: there’s only one room available…

morgause, who specifically chose a rated m and explicit story: oh my gosh there’s only one room they’re gonna share a bed what’s gonna happen next

.

morgana: i can have a little unrealistic romantic fantasy. as a treat

.

arthur: some of y’all weren’t asked out as a joke in middle school and it shows

.

morgana: how is everyone doing. i’ll go first i’m doing badly

.

morgana: being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of the knights told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when i asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was a baby and to this day the mental image of nasa launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

.

elyan: do you wish you were seeing somebody

leon: a therapist

.

morgause: when you see someone from high school and they don’t recognize you that’s the exact opposite of the mortifying ordeal of being known. the gratifying relief of being forgotten

.

[texting]

morgana: you seem hard to kill

morgause: aw thank you

morgause: i haven’t been killed yet

morgana: to your knowledge

morgause: what

.

morgana: just truly bonkers how much i love lying down……..like being horizontal? Unparalleled

.

arthur: when i was younger i really thought that piranhas were going to be a bigger issue for me than they’ve turned out to be

.

morgause: filling out the depression and anxiety checkboxes at the doctors is always so sad but also very very funny

morgause: i am handed a piece of paper. i check off a box that says “every day i wish i were dead”. i hand back the paper. the paper and its contents are never again discussed.

.

morgana: unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you

.

morgana: if california is so expensive why don’t you move to somewhere like ohio

morgause: full offense but i’d rather be dead in california than alive in ohio

morgause: ugly and uninspiring--review of ohio

.

morgana: staying up late not even fun anymore it’s just sad

.

morgause: everyone should be comfortable in their own skin :)

morgause’s brain: except for you

morgause: except for me :)

.

mithian: please peer pressure me into finishing projects

merlin: do it or you’re straight

mithian: i said peer pressure not threaten

.

morgause: the year is 2030. bakery art is so realistic, literally anything could be cake. the uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. i go to hug my wife for comfort. she is cake.

morgause: i sob in despair as i eat my cake wife. she is delicious

.

gwen: do ladies love stupid men or do they just love men who don’t exhaust every opportunity to feel smart

gwen: “i used to think that melancholy was a vegetable” that’s incredible, let’s hang out more

.

morgause: basically i accidentally listened to a song a few years ago and it led to this

.

morgana: *desperately tries to romanticise her homework*

.

uther: do i have to be pretty? is it not enough to simply be the loudest person in the room with the worst opinions

.

morgana: oh i can’t possibly study, i have allotted the next six hours to yearning vaguely

.

morgause: allow me to de-introduce myself

morgause: my name is [redacted]

.

arthur: i have no good posts today i’m sorry guys

merlin: haha “today”

.

mordred: “do we perhaps use magic because we were bullied and needed blah blah special interest blah blah” shut the FUCK up i use magic to see my anime husband’s big fucking honkers. sorry you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: i came here to bully people

mordred: is it because you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: no it’s because i’m deranged

.

mithian: pretty sure seven deadly sins is a bit excessive

mithian: just combine wrath and gluttony and make hangry

mithian: sloth and pride make Bottoming

.

morgana: despicable me ruined the word minion whenever i become a supervillain i’m just going to have to call them my homies or whatever

.

gwen: as a bisexual i am attracted to lanky boys with dark hair, girls who look like they could kill me, and anyone wearing vampire teeth

.

morgana: if someone tried to assassinate me that would make me feel so important and valued and beloved

.

gwaine: turn down for whom?

.

mithian: fact: usage of the word “the” has begun to decline. this is because as more and more people become educated, usage of the word “thoum’st” has become more common.

.

morgana, kidnapping mithian in 5x04: truth or dare? uhhh i dare you to………………………………..fall in love with me. haha i’m just joking bro………………..unless…………………………?

.

gwaine: my thoughts are like a clearance sale

gwaine: once it’s gone it’s gone

.

morgana: *pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce” specifically to piss off morgause*

.

gwaine: do you prefer women or men?

leon: death

.

morgause: honestly no offense but i love falling asleep and sleeping. it’s like. ok goodnight

.

morgause: ngl it’s kinda difficult to be the moody and mysterious background character in everyone’s life when you’re quarantined at home

.

morgause: i need to get laid

morgause: --to rest. put me in a coffin, let my soul ascend

.

gwaine: it takes a lot of heart to be this stupid

gwaine: it takes real strength not to know shit about fuck

.

elyan: what’s your favorite anime?

leon: i’m a christian

.

arthur: just bought this tapeworm from etsy!

lancelot: where are you gonna keep it

arthur: :)

merlin: i don’t like this conversion very much

.

gwaine: i’m home alone with the tv repair man

gwaine: i’m no fool, there are only two possible outcomes of this scenario

gwaine: porn or murder

gwaine, an hour later: apparently there was an unforeseen third outcome where he fixes the tv and then leaves

.

morgause: well tomorrow fucking sucked

.

morgana: dark brunch

morgana: *mixes a mimosa with evil intent*

morgause: this is just what being gay is like

.

gwaine: movie idea: guy finds a stone tablet engraved with a mysterious alien language and gets caught up in a national treasure-esque adventure to decipher its meaning, only to learn that it’s just an alien “live laugh love” decoration

.

arthur: sorry i didn’t mean to open your ig story 20 seconds after you posted i’m just unemployed

.

arthur: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgana: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

OR

cenred: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgause: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

.

morgana: wow would you look at that. it’s already that time of the night where i move the stuff on my bed to my chair. can’t wait until tomorrow when i move the stuff from my chair back onto my bed

.

gwaine: hi i’m bethany with girl defined ministry and today we are going to be talking about how to stan my chemical romance in a God-honoring way

.

morgana: bottom: ,,, !!! ;;; vers: …. top: no punctuation whatsoever

morgause: tops are illiterate

.

morgause: i slept for almost 12 hours but i might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case

morgana: morgause that’s a coma

morgause: sounds festive

.

mithian: i am a simple woman. i enter the kitchen. i eat four servings of bread products. i leave.

gwaine: it’s one serving if you serve all of it to yourself

mithian: i like the way you think, friend

.

gwaine: spencer from icarly and rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid are on the opposite ends of the same spectrum

elyan: the gay older brother scale

.

merlin: i found a rock :)

merlin: my troubles will soon be over

gwaine: parasite (2019) dir. bong joon ho

percival: uncut gems (2019) dir. josh and benny safdie

elyan: cain

.

morgana: social distancing is okay for me bc i’ve been touch starved since the 15th century. i’m used to it

.

mithian: fanfiction hits different when you’re gay and yearning and haven’t experienced an ounce of romance in your life

.

morgause: callout for rude baby seen at grocery store

morgause: i’m calling out a baby (approximately 12-14 months old) from the grocery store due to its rudeness. i’m guessing its age based on appearance, motor skills (atrocious) and whatnot. anyway, i smiled at this baby and it just stared at me. as soon as i began to move on, though, the baby said “no!” and started giggling when i turned back around. this happened multiple times. the baby’s actions were toxic and manipulative. the baby was also manhandling a package of dried fruit which wasn’t yet paid for (quite minor) and was just generally sitting around and not helping

.

gwen: we need to melt down all the pennies and make the statue of liberty a girlfriend

.

morgause: had a realization in a dream i just had that this isn’t real and i can just do whatever i want and so i started shrinking the face of this guy that was talking to me and then once it got real small i woke up sleep paralyzed

morgause: i was given godlike powers over the universe by realizing it’s all in my head and the first thing i did was use them to torment the nearest man

morgause: and the actual God woke me up and put be into a 5 minute timeout to lay frozen and think about what i’ve done

.

morgana: does anyone else feel an awkward tension whenever you see another person your age in the grocery store

.

gwaine: the number 87 kinda looks like a plague doctor

percival: you’ve just changed the fucking game

elyan: [|87

.

morgana: a lonely bitch...a loner...i love isolation AND detachment

.

gwaine: i will not call the judges “your honor”. in america we don’t have titles of nobility. they will get a simple “yes dude” from me

gwaine: calling big bird just “bird” because i do not respect him

.

morgause: *photo of a pizza in a bad* caught the bae sleepin

mordred: now why would you waste a perfectly good pizza :(

morgause: that “waste” happens to be my wife getting her beauty sleep. think before you speak

.

gwaine: *finishes wedding vows* don’t forget to like and subscribe

.

morgana: *is bitter but is also right*

.

morgana: how dare you not notice me when i’m ignoring you

.

morgause, killing cenred: men be like i’m bilingual i speak english and over women

.

gwaine: after i move i really wanna get a used roomba

percival: i love that you’re adopting instead of buying from a breeder

.

mordred: joking about a kink is a gateway drug into developing said kink

morgana: my kink is mental, emotional, and financial stability

morgause: unrealistic, settle for choking like normal people

.

gaius: gay people use halloween props as home decor year round

morgana: shut up shut up this black jar with a raven painted on it is holiday-neutral

.

[texting]

morgause: can you come out?

morgana: yeah gimme a minute

morgana: morgause, i’m gay

morgause: i know that. come out to the car

morgana: car, i’m gay

.

morgause: God FUCKING damnit i’m such a hopeless romantic one day someone’s gonna say “i love you” and i’m just going to let out an agonized scream so horrible that they immediately change their mind

.

gaius: i’m not wearing glasses anymore i’ve seen enough

.

morgause: sorry my battery’s on 96% i gtg

.

morgause: you hate me? wow you think you’re hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so you can go grab a number and wait your turn

.

morgana: don’t ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean i’m ignoring like 8 people right now but still ???

.

morgana: shoutout to my favorite coping mechanism, isolation

.

morgana: the concept of physical beauty is a scam unless you’re calling me cute in which case it is valid, actually

.

merlin: oh, so when other people go outside it’s “good for their health” and “highly recommended”, it’s only when i do it that it’s a “containment breach” and a “high-level threat to public safety and security”, huh?

.

gwaine: a charming photo of young john mulaney, seemingly celebrating the kennedy assassination

merlin: princess diana wasn’t john mulaney’s first kill

.

morgause: hate when i got out in public and the public is there

morgana: it seems the public is no longer in the public

morgause: i’ve won...but at what cost?

.

morgana: girls will see a chance to commit arson and be like “sorry, i have to take this”

morgause: girls will see a building that’s not on fire and say “is anyone gonna burn that” and not wait for an answer

[hwangskz]

winning loss | street racer! changbin

a big fat shoutout to my bby @chanhee-bby for helping me out on choosing a member for this oof,, also no the title isn't related to the story JSHSCSSV

• seoul is a..... pretty wildt city

• and so is ur school .wildt

• and ur house is just?? nowhere to be found?? 

• like ur house is basically just hidden somewhere in the city, where even the Lord google maps himself can’t find it DJNDJNDJJDJJDDJJ

• “hey y/n is there possibly some kind of construction going on beside ur place?” - one of ur friends, once when they tried to come to ur house

• “no..??? send me a pic of where u r rn on kkt- BRO THAT PLACE IS HALF AN HOUR AWAY FROM MY HOUSE WHAT THE HECK???????”

• “i- I ONLY FOLLOWED THE DIRECTIONS THAT GOOGLE MAPS GAVE ME TO UR PLACE!!!!!!!! THROUGH THE LINK!!!!!!!”

• “oH YEAH??????? AND WHO SENT U THAT LINK?”

• “yOU”

• “..............oh...........”

•  yeah the condition IS that bad

• anyways

• this also means that any dangers happening to u is more likely to happen than u urself can imagine

• “yo y/n did u watch the news? apparently that prisoner got away and is probably now hiding in ur area, bcs it is suspected to be the place where he will find his next victim”

• and now that ur walking to ur home with a bunch of ramen noodles and some strawberry milk in that grocery bag, u cant help but feel nervous

• after all there IS A FUCKING CRIMINAL OUT THERE U READERS

• wait

• what's that….. sound?

• u probably would’ve brushed it off if not for the fact that u had ur Precious food in ur hands

• not gonna let that one go, u fucking murderer (◣_◢)

• "um excuse me-"

•"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

• "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

• LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON MS. Y/N AND MR-

• OH IT'S A BOY???????????

• y/n shut up it's not a murderer

• "JESUS CHRIST I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE"

• "ME TOO"

• "U THOUGHT THAT I WILL D I E????"

• "WELL YEAH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT ANYONE CAN GET MURDERED U DUMBASS LADY"

• "......... right"

• both of u sigh at the fact that the other wasn't a murderer and an actual sane human

• (well.... can't assure u abt the sane part tho..)

• ANYWAYS

• "STOP SCREAMING IN MY EAR BOY"

• "SAYS THE ONE WHO SCREAMED FIRST????? AND IM NOT JUST SOME BOY IM SEO CHANGBIN OK ONE GREAT STREET RACER"

• u eye him from top to bottom ; he has a black leather jacket on (very sleek..hm), with brown boots, and his hair looks all gel-ed, and he owns some ?? bike ??

• cool bike tho (つ▀¯▀)つ

• "obviously, this bike is known for its-"

• "sounds like ur flexing bro"

• "im enlightening u"

• "PFT"

• u snort, followed by him laughing at u as u cough bcs damn u shouldn't have snorted, when after a while, the laughter seems to die down, resulting in silence

• "so, uh....are u going home alone? at this hour?"

• "yeah?"

• "u know there's a criminal on loose right.."

• "yeah"

• changbin sighs and then gets on his bike, followed by him patting the space behind him

• "get on. ill take u home."

• "u don't even know where i live"

• "but u know where u live"

• "...."

• changbin probably senses the tension in u, to which he gives u a smile

• "don't worry, ill drop u a few blocks away, if that makes u feel better"

• so here u are, sitting behind him, hands wrapped around his waist because ur scared u might fall off (but are u even complaining amirite)

• when he drops u off at the signboard, ur still gazing at the trees rhythmic movements to the wind

• "hey? we're here"

• "huh-"

• before u can comprehend, changbin takes u in his arms and keeps u down

• "t-thanks"

• "no problem, uh-"

• u look up too fast

• "y/n! y/n l/n!"

• and he grins

• "that's....a pretty cute name actually... fits for someone as cute as u.."

• u break into a grin too and then point at a building to ur right, not very far away

• "that's my place. feel free to come by whenever u want, yeah?"

• ":D!"

• and u run off into ur place, while changbin stands there, against his bike, thinking about how glad he was that he postponed the race to today

• the next day u were pretty sad :( bcs u rlly thought he'd come by yk? but he didn't the entire day :(

• but no worries anymore!! bcs at night

• THUD!

• "i- WHO'S THERE AT THIS HOU- oh????????? hELLO"

• changbin stood there, another empty milk carton in his hand that he was about throw when he saw u finally opened the window for him

• "h-hi y/n!!!!"

• "???? what r u doing here at this hour????"

• "come down first!!!!! ill tell u everything!!!"

• so u come down and he's just standing there, leaning against his bike as he pretends to look cool for u JSGSSVS

• "what's up?"

• "do u wanna!!! go to the convenience store!! together!! they recently stacked up on ur fav strawberry milk so"

• ":D OMG YES"

• so y'all go to the store to get the strawberry milk bcs strawberry milk? Superior

• "so..why were u throwing empty milk cartons at my window?- i mean,, don't people in movies and stuff throw rocks?"

• "well what if i had thrown one and it broke ur window? that's some stalker-ass shit. i don't do that. plus, it would've caused u some damage probably, physically and/or in terms of money. so why would i?"

• changbin stop being so caring for a second before y/n falls in love with u challenge ಥ_ಥ

• needless to say, this became a routine of the both of u; coming to the convenience store late at night and talking about ur lives

• yall felt so close (and so in love with each other) after every visit

• Insane.

• when one day

• "hey changbin, don't u have that race near my area tomorrow?? ill come around ok!!"

• and changbin almost SPITS out his milk because NO Y/N U CANT

• "why not (◕︵◕)"

• oh no

• not the puppy eye attack y/n pls

• "because-"

• "(◕︵◕) (◕︵◕) (◕︵◕) but changbin (◕︵◕) (◕︵◕) (◕︵◕) i have to support u (◕︵◕) (◕︵◕) (◕︵◕)"

• ".....fine"

• ":D YEEEEEE LET'S GO LOSERS!!!!!!!"

• that night when changbin goes home to his other 8 best friends they Automatically sense Tension wow what a bond

• even minho who usually doesn't give a fuck at all was concerned JDJDJDBD

• "she's coming to the race tomorrow"

• "isn't that a good thing? i mean there'll be the love ur life giving u all that damn support u need" - hyunjin

• "did u have extra dumb bitch juice today or what,,,,,, it's the competition with jihyuk and and the others. the final race."

• "he's right. but do even have a choice anymore" - chan, as he sits down beside changbin and gives him an assuring nod

• fast forward to the race setup already there, with u and changbin (ft. his 8 best friends) standing there at the start line

• "changbin, remember. i'm here for u, okay?"

• "everyone! get ready!"

• u move away, giving him a nod, when the race starts, with changbin starting at a full speed

• u knew he could do it

• for the days u have known him, ur sure he will win

• "and changbin wins!"

• there are loud cheers coming from ur side, while the other is quiet

• HAH LOSERS!!!!! CHANGBIN STAY WINNING

• changbin runs to u and hugs u so tightly

• "congratulations dumb bitch!!!!!"

• "thank u!!!!!!"

• the guy, who ur guessing to be jihyuk, comes around, with his helmet in one hand, and the other reaching out to handshake with changbin

• "well played"

• "you too."

• jihyuk glances at u for a second

• "tell me how it goes, yeah?"

• and then he leaves

• "so....y/n........are u free today...."

• ".............. yeah"

• "!!! to the convenience store we go!!!"

• yall did the same routine again, yk

• getting strawberry milk, talking abt life

• everything felt normal for u

• can't say the same abt changbin tho,,,,,, boy was LOSING HIS MIND HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO TELL U ABT HIS FEELS

• "god;;;;;; i should've just lost,,,,,"

• "??? did u say something ??"

• "HUH NO AHAHAAHA NO I DIDN'T?????"

• u didn't think much abt his behavior

• but when u reached home

• as u were abt to open the door to ur place

• "y/n! i- i like u!"

• u pause. all of a sudden????? a confession????

• u turn around to see him fidgeting with his fingers as he looks down

• "i-i'm sorry if this is so sudden..but i wanted to maybe take some time and then confess? but bcs i wanted to prove that i wasn't a coward abt my feelings i made a bet that if i won, i would confess.

• i thought that even if i won, i probably would delay it by taking my sweet time because GOD im a coward. but then u said that u would come and then OBVIOUSLY u had seen me looking like a coward even after i won and obviously my friends saw u too..so they probably would've told u anyways if i hadn't today. so i thought it was time that i stop being a cowa-"

• u cut him off by placing a quick kiss on his lips

• "shut up. u aren't a coward, dumbass. ur really one of the most confident people i've met..and that's a huge thing."

• changbin blushes and looks down, which makes u kiss him again when he looks up

• "i- did u just kiss me aga-"

• "seo changbin, i like u too."

• at first he just stands there, his mouth hung open at ur words, but then picks himself up and smiles before placing his lips on urs

• "perhaps im very glad i postponed the race that day"

[ichirostitties]

It’s great to see another HypMic imagines blog around!! Can I request some headcanons for how Ichiro, Dice, and Samatoki (desperate ofc) react when they’re attempting to flirt with their crush, but their crush doesn’t understand the flirting and just thinks the guys are being super nice all of a sudden? Hopefully that made sense agsjjfkvkv. Best wishes for you and the blog!!!! ꒰#’ω`#꒱੭

aah thanks also this is a v cute ask they r all babey (yes even mr hardcore)

Ichiro

-POOR BOY he really has no experience with this at all :^( it’s basically canon that his only relationship experience comes from light novels/manga and all that nfdjfhssj

-he was probably SO NERVOUS he’s liked you for so long!! for ages he was trying to drop subtle hints (’subtle’) but you just didn’t understand him. he’s so nervous cause he wants to tell you but he just..can’t

-it’s just..,,this one day in particular you guys are hanging out alone FINALLY (since jiro and saburo are at school, he has the day off and you happened to be free too!), and he’s dropping so many hints (it’s up to you whether or not he uses purposely cheesy pickup lines to no avail lmao) he’s tried EVERYTHING. 

-he asked you to go to the movies sometime (he was like “so uhh..,,,would maybe wanna see this [insert cheesy romantic movie title here because ofc he would pick that to be as obvious as possible] together sometime y/n??”) and u were like “yeah i’d love to!! how did you know i’d love to see that movie you’re so thoughtful! :) is it ok if i bring some other friends too?” and he just internally cries because he MEANT just the two of you because it’s a movie COUPLES see together

-you guys were chillin on his couch probably watching uhhh NARUTO like weebs or something and he even tried the ‘accidental contact’ strategy but you just apologised and moved your hand away (he cries again because he just wants to hold ur hand aw)

-so in the end he’s tried all of the worst flirting strategies ever and not only did none of them work, you didn’t understand aNY of them (although you DID notice he was being a little more touchy than usual) and he’s sitting there wondering what to do because he’s so nervous!!! He’s sure he’ll have to actually confess at this rate and he’s never done it before his poor mc big bro heart is beating so fast!

-you probably notice that he seems to be sweating up a storm and you ask if he’s okay and I think that would do it for him honestly

-he takes a deep breath and is like right.,,ok mr mc big bro u got this in his head and turns to you with the reddest face you’ve seen in a while and blurts out that he really reaaallly likes you and he’s had the biggest crush on you for so long!! and he even tells you how he’d been trying to flirt with you all day (honestly flirting for ichiro is sending the ‘:3′ emoji) but you didn’t notice so he decided to just tell you and he Really hopes you feel the same way

-you’re like “oh…oH” and then it all clicks and you FINALLY understand why he was acting the way he was, and you give him the biggest smile ever because you really like him too!! 

-”I really like you too, Ichiro!” and the moment you tell him all his nerves just drop to 0 and he’s SO HAPPY, he doesn’t even register you apologising for not understanding his advances cause he’s too busy trying to believe that this is real and he really just did that and you actually like him back

-and now u r dating ichiro and u guys went to that cheesy romance movie and maybe u smooched him and maybe he cried himself to sleep that night because of how happy he is

-wow this turned into an entire scenario oOPS BUT ANYWAY basically i think ichiro would just confess out of sheer desperation because he’s never really experienced this before and he has no idea how to best handle the situation

-he’s just a big soft nerd idiot but he’s the best big brother ever and we love him anyway :’) ily ichiro ughhh this made me wanna go on so many dates with him

Samatoki

-angery man

-Samatoki would actually be pretty good at flirting honestly, he’s probably had a lot of positive reactions from people in the past so when you don’t really get what he’s implying he like ???? nani the fuck

-he’d probably repeat himself expecting you to get it but you just. don’t and he doesn’t actually know how to react at first.

-he’s not shy when it comes to this stuff, but he does get embarrassed easily when he has to admit his feelings. flirting was so much easier for him because he can just pass it off as not being that deep

-he probably becomes more aggressive with his flirting, like he starts leaning into you more if ya get what i mean

-he just goes with it the first few times it happens, but when you’re continuously oblivious to him he rapidly gets very frustrated, and he becomes more pouty as time goes on and you still just don’t get it!!

-he has trouble expressing his true feelings. he’s such a tsundere oh dear

-he wouldn’t get mad at you though, he really doesn’t want to hurt you even if he does come across as prickly, he just doesn’t really know what to do other than get angry at himself for not just telling you straight away

-you notice he’s feeling down so you ask him what’s wrong and he just blushes and looks away like the dumbass he is. his heart aches when he hears the concern in your voice and he really just wants to tell you. so he mumbles something but you can’t quite hear him, so you ask him to repeat himself and then he turns to you that’s when he confesses to you because he’s tired of feeling like a coward

-he tells you he’s liked you for a while now, and that it’d be fuckin great if you felt the same way otherwise he’d probably never be able to talk to you again (he probably says it all while looking to the side because he’s a stereotypical tsundere when it comes to this and i love him)

-you sort of take a moment to process it, but when it all clicks you realise how much he’d been dropping hints and you’re sorta like damn ok..he’s really smooth im just a dumbass ok but it’s ok cause you guys can both be dumbasses together!!

-he’s still waiting for your response, so you just lean in and kiss him on the cheek and he goes. very red but once he realises that means you feel the same way (it takes him a full 5 seconds), he has the biggest cheesiest grin on his face and gives you a REAL BIG SMOOCH because he’s secretly a pretty big dork

-soft samatoki makes me go sicko mode oh my god

Dice

-DICE’S FLIRTING IS SO STRAIGHTFORWARD AND HE REALLY DOESN’T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN’T REALISE HE HAS A BIG FAT CRUSH ON YOU???

-he’s literally been like “u look hot” and you’re like “aw thanks dice ur the nicest friend!!!!” he literally had question marks in his eyes the entire day

-he has tried EVERYTHING he even used “ya like jaaazzz???” from the bee movie but you thought he was just making a horrible reference and depending on how u feel u either refused to talk to him for the rest of the day or laughed until you cried because he’s such a clown

-he really doesn’t care that much, he’d LOVE to date you but hanging out with you is fine too so he wouldn’t be in the biggest rush to confess. Honestly he’d probably have a blast finding out just how far he can go before you realise how he feels (in a way it’s kinda like gambling cause he never knows when you’re gonna get it ooooo)

-after a few weeks he probably starts to get pretty desperate tho. he sees ur hand once and goes apeshit cause he wants to hOLD IT SO BAD he just wants 2 give u a big soft hug (dice gives the BEST hugs just saying) and now he realises that maybe he should just tell you

-and Dice has no shame, so he does! he goes up to you and is like “hey so uhh..,,,i’ve literally been dropping hints for weeks that I really like you so would you maybe wanna go on a date sometime??”. 

-He wouldn’t seem like it, but he is actually a little nervous. After all, he’s some hopeless homeless case addicted to gambling, why would you ever like him back? But for as few brain cells as Dice has, he actually has more sense than the others and thinks that hey, you must like him at least a little to have been hanging out with him for as long as you have

-when you say that you like him a lot too, he feels his heart swell!! he’s really happy and gives you one of his big signature grins. You apologise for being so clueless, you really thought he was just trying to be nice or entertaining in general cause that’s how he is with everyone else

-Dice pulls you in for a Big Dice Hug and assures you that it’s fine, he’s just as bad as you seeing as he still believes literally everything that falls from Gentaro’s mouth despite knowing how he is, and that he had a lot of fun trying to flirt with you using literally any tactics he could think of (even the kabedon didnt work smh)

-dice is such a genuine person i really can’t see him not confessing. he’s just a babey please give him lots of love and food

[poppymadness]

💖 HQ, Knb, All Out, Free, BNHAand DnA I think you watched at least a little bit of it, didn't u? And since I know who some of your favorites are already u can just rant about why u love them

@naturalpeaches said:💖 can i be an ass and say twdg even tho ik the answers p much OH the last kingdom. bring it to ur blog amber. talk about it. accept it.

💖 listen those 2 weren’t enough. give me the raven cycle. give me the foxhole court. give me six of crows. giVE ME CRIMINAL MINDS HAAAAA BITCH. why not throw the 100 in there too. also talk abt ur boo in the sun is also a star. give him some lovin

💖 N A R U T O

hope it’s cool just to throw ya both in here bc i’m lazy

haikyuu: (3) kuroo tetsurou - iiiiiiiiiiii fucking love kuroo sO much, a huge tall not so dumb dumbass god. i don’t know what to say dfkhka i fuckin Love him thanks dude. i nEVER FORGET THE FUCKIN LAUGH GOD FUCK FOR FUCKS SAKE skjfd. whenever i get in Kuroo Moods they last SO long i can’t get a break. and gamer au kuroo is killer it’s too good. listen he’S A BIG FOOL and i LOVE him want the best for him bc he’s great, good, good dude. i also rlly fuckin love terushima man ooooo my god, imagine him and kuroo bein buds hORRIBLE

kuroko no basket: (1) kiyoshi teppei - mY BOY KIYOSHI AAAAA. hE’S EVEN T A L L E R mmmm 6′4″ the fuck mann. we know my love for this dumbass i love him so so muuch fuck. thought it was kuroko at first, bitch no. I LITERALLY DIDN’T KNOW I LOVED HIM TILL AFTER I FINISHED THE WHOLE SHOW. like, just, the more i saw stuff involving him the more i was like ooo no no waiT i LoVE HiM i screamed when he showed up in the second opening when we rewatched it oooommggggg. he’S SO GOOD I HOPE HIS KNEE IS HEALED I HOPE HE GETS TO PLAY BASKETBALL AS A LIL SIDE HOBBY OR SOMETHIN HOPE HE’S FUCKIN HAPPY!!!!! whY DOES HE SELF-SACRIFICE SO MUCH BOY OOO MY GOD WHEN HE REALIZED THE TEAM GOT HIS BACK TOO BITCH HE SO CUTE. mmmmm  i love hiiiiim bois. also love akashi i keep finding it funny ur intimated by him cj

all out: (4) ebumi masaru - i can’t. i can’t explain why i love him oR WHY HE’S SO HIGH A FAVE GOD. this whole fandom is like Those Thighs and make ebumi all about fuckin sex like what a Tough Boy like yA HE BUYS (rents? whatever) PORN THAT’S FUCKIN SO FUNNY TO ME BUT MMMM he. more. i nevER STOP THINKIN BOUT THE EP WITH ISE THAT EMO SHIT DO U SEE HOW MUCH EBUMI CARES BOUT HIS FRIEND GOD Fuck. like yeah, just take the money. this is what was left for me but idc here take it u need it i stg season 2 better be in the works i want more of his backSTORY. oh hE FUCKIN BLEACHES HIS HAIR WHAT A PUUUUNK, HE TRAINS SO HARD HE CARES SO MUCH ABOUT RUGBY GETS P I S S E D WHEN PPL HALF-ASS IT LIKE?? FAIR ENOUGH. OH THETY ACTUALLY DREW HIS HAIR DOWN RIGHT ADJHF A OoO FUCK TAHT. i’m good it’s cool alright bye gion, raita & ise are my best friends thank

free: rin matsuoka - i. thought it was nagisa at first. i wanna cry fuckin nagisa jesus. good boy but hell no. rin?? is so sweet i’m sorry fuckin flew haru to australia & shit he’s so good i love him. i gotta do this i’m srry FUCK whoever thinks rin would be abusive with haru thx. i havE A RIN POSTER G O D

boku no hero academia: todoroki shouto - i literally didn’t have a fave in this show until one (1) specific episode in season 2 with him. thought i was gonna live forever not having a fave in this show. i had actually been growing to like him and was like No, i told myself to not like him bc he’s so popular hdkfa. and then that ep came and i was like,,,oof i Love him, love love love what a goOD BOY. he’s…so cute..comin to terms with his powers still can’t get over he interned with his dad he just…..wants to improve…is improving…..so good.

daiya no ace: ? - ok, i never developed a fave while watching it, at least not where i got to. i don’t even remember where i stopped oof that’s bad. but i had thought at that time that i rlly loved chris?? eijun is precious, i fuckin love him. miyuki is great i love him too. also really loved kuramochi?? so if i had continued i think it would’ve been one of em.

the walking dead game: kenny, luke, clem, gabe - pls don’t make me choose… kenny…tried his hardest to be good, worked his ass off till the last moment to improve himself and didn’t get the redemption he deserved. that man is good, he was just pushed to his max and couldn’t get back down. luke, luke is a sunshine boy who was too good for the world, a positive outlet could make anyone happy, did his best, didn’t deserve to die. cleM MY BADASS B A B Y HAS GROWN SO MUCH I LOOOOVE HER AND CAN’T WAIT FOR HER HAPPY ENDING TELLTALE YOU FUCKS I AM BEGGING YOU1!! gabe…annoyed me at first…stole my heart….just a boy thrown into the apocalypse tryin to be happy…he’s doing his best, he’s learning, truly not such a brat as assholes make him out to be. nick my boy i’m so sorry i would’ve included you ur so close

the last kingdom: uhtred & alfred - i love uhtred the godless and king alfred of wessex very much indeed. uhtred is just a wreck honestly, this danish bro got a lot goin on he just wants the land he deserves i just say he’s bein greedy, go be happy under alfred’s rule i still love u tho uhtred u dumbass. alfred! got the peace he wanted! i love alfred so much he wants to be a king without war unless he’s not given the choice, cares about his family so much, afraid he’ll be punished for the crown that’s not rightfully his own. alfred is so good, i love this man.

the raven cycle: (5) adam parrish - mmmmmmm what a good boy. an important boy, a very much loved boy. iiiii hate havin his pov sometimes, some relatable things in there, i love him so much. he’s not. his father. thanks. gotta say that a lot wanT HIM TO KNOOOOOOOW. he’s so good he’s improving himself he’s doin it!! go adam!! goD ASHLETY I KEEP THINKING OF THINGS YOU HAVEN’T GOTTEN TOOOOOOOO. mmmm it’s ok to still be stuck and to have bad days he doesn’t have to get over it right away!! it’s not somethin that’ll just be over!! dhfad smALL STEPS my boy i love u…. all bc, he…legally free (tryin not to spoil dfhjdaf).. don’t mean he has to be over it…take ur time adam. i’m thinkin of the emo thing in trk fuck wrong devil dkhfad. i just wanna cry he’s so good worth so much ronan & i will fight any and all fucks who wanna Go. i!! love him!! he deserVES TO FEEL LOVED AND TO FEEL HOW TO LOVE MMMM COOL i’m gonna stop i’ll just repeat myself - i just thOUGHT OF THE ‘FUCK YOU GANSEY’ WOW FIRST BOOK FUCK B YE

the foxhole court: …andrew minyard… - idk man?? it’s so lowkey?? it’s chill i literally don’t even have anything to say. nicky, neil & dan are my squad love em.

six of crows: jesper fahey - idk what fuckin bitch ass mood i had to be in when i read soc but if i wasn’t in it jesper would totally have been my fave. i wouldn’t take him away from wylan anyways (statement kiiinda counts for the two aforementioned also whoop). jesper?? deserves the world, but so does everyone else they all deserve the world even u bitch ass brekker who would not deal with my bullshit ever. 

criminal minds: aaron hotchner - god ashley screw off askin me for cm. love hotch, would die for him, too good of a guy.

the 100: bellamy blake - is a fuckin whore. iiiiiii love bellamy so much. bitch ass goes from a punk i hated to a good dude to a punk ass influenced by some huge ass prick dick and then struggles with himself for the next season and will now hopefully feel a bit better at least for gods sake. all bc you’ve done bad things doesn’t mean ur bad bell… i still never get over fucking pike taking advantage of him when he was vulnerable fuck off i just want him to feel better!! take responsibility but don’t let it push you down fucking get up!! you’ll get up!! mmm he’s so good he just wants to make everything right but clarke makes everyTHING FUCKIN GO WRONG. i just…not everything is excusable but he can make up for it he will and he’s worth it,,,, people gotta forgive him at some point he’s trying his hardest to make up for everything and he keeps beating himself on it mmmmdfahdf i love him

the sun is also a star: daniel jae ho bae - idk what to say about him ashley god fuck. he’s so cute though?? what a cheesy dude. ugh literally so cute i gotta reread it

naruto: kiba inuzuka - what a prideful ass i fuckIN LOVe him thx. i mean i was fuckin doomed from that start he has best boy akamaru & fuckin has a jutsu where he turns into a wolf?? and his fuckin mom and sister have wolves?? doomed before i even fuckin knew it. he’s soooo cute, never take his fuckin hoodie off idk what’s cuter him trying to look tough in that hoodie that everyone literally thought was hair or havin the hoodie off and showin his actual hair that somehow makes him cuter,,, what’S HORRIBLE IS THE LEATHER JACKET OR WHATEVER IT IS HE WEARS IN SHIPPUDEN fuckin idiot. imagine him as hokage i can’t believe he wants to be hokage it’s so funny i’m sorry kiba i’ll support u just give me a minute to catch my breath. guys he’s just so cute, trains so hard, he’s so good i love him enthusiastic boy