#aog/doomsday

[sygzie]

i am once again thinking about "how long are you gonna stay with me?/forever" because i'm just thinking about the doctor looking at the view on this beautiful planet but he's just thinking like.. i don't think i could do this without the girl next to me. i have so much joy in me right now and it's only because of her and i don't have it in me to lose this. so he puts it in her hands--it's really not up to her, everything is against them, he knows this, but--in this moment he puts fate in her hands. says, i will be here as long as you'll have me, so how long will you have me? and it's nonsensical really, but he wants to hear "forever," because if it's coming out of her mouth then a little part of him can believe it

[peaches2217]

Having been raised in a cult that started off as a legitimate church and now seeking faith on my own terms, I’ve recently (as in, like, three days ago) developed a hyperfixation for researching various denominations of Christianity. It’s incredible, how little I knew about what denominations actually believe what.

TW: Reflections on religious extremism and experiences (nothing traumatic, I’m keeping this lighthearted, but I know it can be touchy!)

When my cult was still a church, it was an Assemblies of God church, and I’m fairly certain they still hold to a lot of that doctrine, just with even more heaping helpings of fire and brimstone and doomsday. We were taught to jokingly view Southern Baptists (or just “Baptists,” because they refused to acknowledge American Baptists and I didn’t even realize American Baptism was a THING until recently) as our rivals: they were our polar opposite in practice but equals in theology, and all other denominations just couldn’t get it right or were too scared to break free from Catholicism. We were told Catholics and those who worshiped and believed like them weren’t true Christians and destined for Hell. There was no interdenominational unity and collaboration, nor was there any encouragement to look at other denominations’ doctrine. Ours was right, the Baptists were close enough, and nothing else held any sort of merit.

(I’m pretty sure now they’ve even cut out the Baptist sympathetics, and while it’s become wholly self-contained, they’re still accepted as an AoG church — albeit a more extreme example of the denomination — but I can’t say any of that with certainty. I’d ask my dad but, well, he’s still wholly devoted to the cult, I don’t trust him to be objective in his view. 😅)

I briefly attended an Episcopal church before I moved last year, mostly because it was the polar oppose of what I was raised in and there was something very comforting about that (plus they’re openly supportive of things like LGBTQ+ rights), but ultimately my dad and FB friends kinda shamed me out of attending because “There’s no blessing in structure, sis!”. My hope was to start going to the Episcopal church here where I currently live, but when I showed up last week, there were exactly two people and they gave me rather dirty looks, so I quickly high-tailed it back to my car.

I ended up at a Methodist church because I was running behind and theirs was the only non-Baptist service that hadn’t started yet, and… I dunno. They had some trappings of my birth cult, sang some of the same songs, but there was also a structure to things like I’d seen in the Episcopal church. No hour-long praise and worship where you make a show of screaming and crying harder than anyone else, followed by an hour-long sermon that leads into another two-hour stretch of loud music and light shows and shouldaboughtahyundai steadIboughtakias until everyone was either unconscious or in a state of religious ecstasy; there was an order to things, with opportunities to take time in private prayer at the alter or at your seat, and the sermon was heartfelt and impactful but never once delved into the pastor screaming frantically into the mic. I followed their website to the official doctrine of the United Methodist denomination, and I was shocked to find that I agreed with most of it.

And that shocked me because, due to their notoriously liberal stances and heavy Catholic influence, my dad and those around me always told me that the Episcopal church isn’t really respectable. Most of them, however, consider Methodism a perfectly legitimate denomination that gets enough right to be deemed a proper church… and their doctrine isn’t much more conservative than Episcopalian doctrine. They have no formal stance on queer issues (which I’ll take over “Y’all are going to Hell” any day) but they’re vocal proponents of social justice and sexual education, both things I was taught growing up are evil.

And that’s the long-winded explanation of how I got to where I am now: digging deep into what each denomination actually believes, because I knew my viewpoint was limited by experience and further restrained by indoctrination and trauma, but holy fuck, I didn’t realize just how crazy my cult’s beliefs were until I started comparing all the doctrine. Of course doctrine isn’t everything, I know that, but the more I read, the more and more I realize that the faith I was raised in wasn’t all that Christlike after all.

A side note: my boss let me take half a day off on Sunday to go back to that church. The pastor’s husband came up and greeted me, told me his wife had mentioned meeting me, asked me a couple questions, standard New Person in Church-type stuff. I got about two questions in before I was shaking visibly and so scared I went briefly nonverbal, because for how kindly I’ve been treated and how strong my faith is, I’ve still got hella religious trauma. I alluded to being raised in church and had my trans and enby pride bracelets on, along with my bigender symbol necklace, so I’m pretty sure he could infer exactly why I was so scared.

He clasped my hand and said, in a quiet voice with a little smile, “You’re safe here. This is a safe place. We’re so glad you’re here.” I couldn’t say anything except thank you, but I hope it was enough to express just how deeply those words impacted me.

[spaceymcspaceship]

day 20 n 21??

love and monsters

circa 2007

an actually really effective not doctor focused episode

poor shirley henderson i feel like her characters always end up getting the short end of the stick

also this ep

some heavy heavy foreshadowing for the end of the season

is this why everyone throughout season 11 and 12 were like oh my god x companion is gonna die anytime something happened that could be even remotely prefacing that?

army of ghosts

circa 2007

uh oh kids

the end is nigh

jackie is hilarious and honestly underappreciated like i love him but ten deserves to get called out every 30 seconds which is probs why i love donna tbh

but why is torchwood like this

doomsday

circa 2007

i probably need to go to bed but right now the daleks and cybermen arguing is like peak humor

like what if they just kept saying “identify yourselves” to each other over and over for the remaining 40 minutes of the episode and none of the other sad shit happened

“this male registers as enemy” touche, daleks

oof now i’m emotional

although i do gotta say i’m a little more emotional over rose getting to be with her family and mickey and like they all just drive her across the continent when she has a random dream like i know no doc so sad but also look at her little community!!!

god donna at the end just got me so excited though!!!!

[nicollekidman]

there’s a survivor poll going on for s2 and it’s down to the last three, between tgitf, aog/doomsday, and tip/tsp. you vote for the one you want eliminated. i feel like aog/doomsday will lose this round but yeah, worth a shot in the dark. strawpoll()com/k9yksw34

fucking DISGUSTING that g*rl in the fireplace has made it this far……. everyone just click this link and vote that trash out of there…. (but impossible planet/satan pit winning ultimately is so correct)

[chocolatequeennk]

My fic, organised by ep

Because yesterday I wanted to read all my TIP/TSP fic, and I couldn’t remember all of them.

The series rewrites that say (short) are all under 10K, but dedicate a large percentage of the space to an overview/quick adaptation of the series in question.

Also, yes I am procrastinating.

S1:

Series rewrite

Projected Longing (short)

Just One Word (short)

Rose

Bound Forever (soulmates au)

The Doctor Dances

Starry Night (post-ep)

Boom Town

Safer With You (post-ep)

Parting of the Ways

Eternity in her Eyes 

S2:

Series rewrite

To Make Much of Time (Bad Wolf!Rose)

Snapshots of Forever (short)

Fifty Ways to Say I Love You (short)

Christmas Invasion

Hugging and Leaning (Nine x Rose, Ten x Rose) 

Just Love Me (Nine x Rose, Ten x Rose)

Sealed With a Kiss (Starts with POTW, soulmates au Nine x Rose, Ten x Rose)

Sealed With a Kiss: Post Script 

New Earth

Healing Hands (Nine x Rose, Ten x Rose, also ROTC/AOS)

A New Beginning 

Tooth and Claw

By the Light of the Moon

The Stone Rose (Because yes it is)

His Fortuna 

The Unspeakable Pleasure of an Unforgettable Kiss (follow up)

School Reunion

Old Friends, New Promises

Girl in the Fireplace

Better With Two? (post-ep talk)

Just the Bits In Between (major rewrite/fixit)

Rise of the Cybermen/Age of Steel

On the Same Page (post-ep)

A Slight Deviation from the Plan (post-ep)

Idiot’s Lantern

Gold Can Stay (Post-ep)

On the Cusp 

At Last

With a Kiss, Undone

The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit

Believing and Knowing 

Casting Out Fear (Also AOG Forever scene)

Quiet Confessions

In My Arms Again 

Anywhere You Are

Love and Monsters

House Rules (post-ep)

Fear Her

They Never, Ever Will 

Army of Ghosts, Forever scene

On the Edge of Forever 

Army of Ghosts/Doomsday (34 stories)

See here for my complete list

S3:

Series rewrite

Time is Still A-Flying

The Shakespeare Code

On the North Wind

Daleks in Manhattan/Evolution of the Daleks

A Strangely Familiar Touch (Eight x Rose, Ten x Rose, reunion fic)

Human Nature/Family of Blood

Always Her Doctor (Reunion)

Utopia

In the Shadow of a Ghost

Voyage of the Damned

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Taking Time (Follows previous story and deals with the aftermath of S3 and VOTD)

S4:

Series rewrite

Forever and Never Apart

Voyage of the Damned

The Stowaway

Partners in Crime

But Being Spent (also Silence in the Library and Midnight)

Finally Home

Turn Left

Two Words

Stolen Earth

Forever Bad Wolf

Long Time No See

Specials:

End of Time

The Light at the End of Time

New, New, New Doctor

S7:

Hide

Once Again With You (Eleven x Rose, post ep reunion)

[amnspages]

My DW S2 rewatch is coming to the end and there only left AoG and Doomsday but I'm not gonna cry myself to sleep tonight so watch me lose my shit again tomorrow

[sackrtd]

u ever think about how rose’s character devolves over s1-4 and people treat it like it’s romantic

[sygzie]

the doomsday "and the baby" is so silly and messy because rose tyler knew precisely what the fuck she was doing. the doctor, through all his facades, was yearning for not only rose but a family with her the whole damn time and that might not even be something he fully admitted to himself. but rose knew that he loved her, and she knew why he wasn't saying it and wanted him to say it anyway, and she knew what impossible things that he, like her, might want deep deep down. and so in this last little precious convo, she prods him just a bit, amused, a tiny moment to jab him in the place where he has been hurting her, to remind him that yes, she knows, (you little bitch), are you going to say something now? and she could be so mad and resentful of the way he kept her around without even the respect of admitting what he wants. but she's not, because she’s rose, instead she smiles as she lets him tweak for just one second and then relieves him from his horrors by dropping the joke and letting the moment pass. no, it's mum's, but it would have been fucked if it were mine, right. that would have really gotten you, right, would have really messed with both of us. i guess this is the end, and i guess we only made it this far, but yeah, i do know, you're a shitty liar, i love you too.