#are they traditional and don't wanna marry you before meeting the in-laws?

[flyingcatstiel]

SuperBat Week 2024 fic recs

Day 5 - WE ARE FAMILY Meeting the in-laws | Parent trap | Tired dads

the cost of being a good dad by Mawiiish [T, 96,500 wc]

Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian are all tired of watching Bruce struggle with the stress of trying to handle the newly formed Justice League. He needs an outlet, he needs to relax, he needs to get out of the house, he needs... he needs to start dating. And what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right? “Excuse me, I don’t know who you think I am, but I think there’s been a mistake.” “Bruce, right?” the guy says, albeit less confidently this time. He looks slightly concerned and if Bruce is not mistaken… a tad embarrassed. “Bruce Wayne? You look just like your pictures.” “My pictures?” Something finally clicks in Bruce’s mind, and he takes a small step back and plasters a smile on his face as to not rouse suspicion. Stalker. “Ah, of course, I’m sorry but I’m late for an appointment.”

Comment - Great "Parent Trap" kinda story with Bruce's kids having too much interest in his dating life and too much skills in setting up him with a handsome stranger. What could go wrong?

I (Know) I Wanna Marry You by ClarkeStetler [T, 23,800 wc]

Clark loves Bruce and has been dating him long enough that he's absolutely certain he wants to marry him, build a life with him, etc. But before he can do that, he has to make sure certain people are okay with it... and very few people have done too well going against seven Bats.

Comment - Clark wants to do things right, and that means asking Bruce's family to give him (them) a blessing. But first he needs a plan how to approach them. (#meeting the in laws, kind of)

Interviewing & Counseling series by Ginevra_Benci [G, M, 18,119 wc, 5 parts]

Clark is falling apart. Bruce Wayne, of all people, helps sort out the pieces.

Comment - While the fic is more about Clark finding a place where he belongs, Bruce Wayne and his sons are essential in this process. Also, some wise words from Nightwing to speed up his date with Batman. (#meeting the in laws, kind of)

This Side of the Stars by architeuthis [T, 43,900 wc]

After Clark's death, Bruce finally gets to know him.

Comment - The fic takes place after Batman v Superman movie which means that Clark is slightly indisposed for the most duration of the story. Instead, Bruce is there to help Martha Kent and to learn about the man he couldn't save. (#meeting the in laws, kind of)

who's coming to dinner by shipyrds [G, 4,160 wc]

Beyond the onslaught of comestibles are Ma and Pa Kent. They’re seated next to each other, which isn’t traditional, and also makes this feel even more like a job interview Bruce is failing. He thinks. He’s never actually had a job interview, never mind failed at one. That may be part of the problem. “So,” he begins, a tentative foray into the awkward silence broken only by the sounds of Jonathan’s fork scraping mashed potatoes onto his plate. “How’s the, ah, harvest this year?” “Bad,” Jonathan says, and does not elaborate. Three visits to Smallville over a year.

Comment - Bruce wants to succeed. The Kents don't make it easy. (#meeting the in laws)

My other superbat fic recs are here

[rukia-writes]

If nobody is gonna ask on how Hercules is gonna propose, amma do everyone a favour.

Oh lady Rukia, How does Herculues propose to his s/o? (Can we get a Bonus on Ares as well? 👉👈)

You can ignore this if you want, I don't wanna pressure a great writer like you. Stay Healthy and Relax, Rukia! - 🦉 anon

Hades and Poseidon proposal 💍

♡︎Well, he’s a Greek god and half human to boot.

♡”(Name)! Catch!”

♡Imagine (Name)‘s surprise when an apple is hurled their way that was thrown by the god of fortitude! (😭) hopefully they catch it. ♥️ Hercules will kindly explains that when someone threw an apple at someone it’s considered a marriage proposal. ♥️

♡If this works Hercules will be flabbergasted because he just wanted to test the waters to see if he could a yes of sorts before actually proposing. If it doesn’t work no harm done, he’ll try something different.

♡when Hercules is ready he’ll buy the actual wedding ring (Greek tradition) and he’ll talk with their father first (if they have one/are around) and then he proposes! Hercules most likely proposes giving his s/o a bouquet of flowers with the ring inside or omg (🥹) he’ll make a duplicate of his club and hand it over and in the lion’s mouth is a ring 💍💍🥹

♡The ring is probably simple but very pretty as the stone is probably a diamond or whatever jewel they like, but on the side are inscriptions saying something like, “For my beloved (Name), my wish is to always protect you and cherish you.” He came up with those words don’t laugh! 🥹

♡One thing is for certain he definitely proposes the day the confessed their feelings for one another, he never forgets.

♡Hopefully they say yes, if not give me my ring 💍♥️

ꨄAres tried Hercules approach by testing the waters except he does his by simply asking at random times.

Washing the dishes? “Hey, (Name) how do you feel about marriage?”

Outside gardening 👨‍🌾? “What do you think of a rose colored ring? Is that ugly?”

In a meeting with the gods? He’ll whisper, “This is a bit boring, but I heard there are rings for sale this week what do you think about that?”

ꨄand depending on the answer Ares may or may not go thru with proposing, his pride is at risk and he thinks a lot about the” No” But! If his s/o gives him green lights then he’ll go with it.

If his s/o is really cunning they can snoop around Ares’ friends and family and get a heads up that he’s thinking of marriage.

The ones who won’t talk: Hermes, Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, Hera.

The ones who won’t talk but look suspicious because they know: Hercules.

The one who jokes about having a new in law: Zeus. (😭)

The one who will talk: Adamas.

ꨄ How does Ares propose? After listening to his uncles and father listing elaborate ways to propose and honestly he’ll really consider doing so, he’ll choose something simple. Ares will claim he’s lost his helmet that he wears and asks his s/o to help him find it. But ah! He knows where his helmet is he’s just waiting for his s/o to find it and when they do inside is a wedding ring and then he asks shyly (even though he’ll claim later he wasn’t shy) if they will marry him ♥️💍

ꨄthe ring is most likely very elegant and expensive because he doesn’t want his s/o to say no (they better not) so he’ll have their birthstone or choice for a stone ring.

It’s also possible he’ll somehow have the constellation of the ram which is his zodiac sign either in the ring itself or on the side of the ring. ♥️

ꨄThe moment they agree Ares takes a huge sigh of relief 😮‍💨

[ofallthingsnasty]

You know what's juicy? A yandere forcing you to do the whole 'meet your parents' thing. How would they keep you in line? Or are you broken in already? Any well-known pro hero would just have to work their charm a little to convince them they're the right fit for you - like Hawks. Or Mirko. Any top 10 hero will probably meet little resistance on their part. (Because even if your spouse croaks - you’ll probably be set up for life.)

Lower ranked pros might not hog the front pages every day but they can still work the public - and to a certain extent, your parents. Who could say no to someone as caring and sweet as Fatgum? They just know he’s going to make you so happy. And someone like Nighteye? Good for you, he seems respectable enough and it looks like you’re finally taking your life a little more seriously. Most villains don’t even think of meeting your parents - but Overhaul would. He can’t help himself, he needs to do it the old-fashioned way (not to mention that it’s quite the twisted power play on his part). And that man can be quite the charmer when he wants to be - even if he sits on your parents’ couch, stiff as a board and just a tad pale because it is a little dusty. You won’t recognize him. I think Compress would be quite similar. What if you do try to tell your parents that something is very, very wrong - what if you try to escape - how will they handle it? Are they able to play it off, talk themselves out of it or do your parents simply not buy it? It’s a ridiculous notion, right?

And probably the most important question of them all: Why? What‘s their motivation?

[scottstiles]

hi divvy! i know you are MAD right now, so don't answer this until you feel like it, but when you're ready i'd love to hear your thoughts on music on the sabbath and yom kippur! i love hearing you talk about jewish things tbh.

first off i’m so sorry i didn’t answer this whole time. it’s not that i was so mad (that came and went) but i did need a little distance from thinking about it and then i thought why not wait and see how the rest of the holiday goes before replying.

secondly oh my goodness i can’t believe you love hearing me talk about anything XD but it feels really nice that you enjoy my random outbursts about religion. i get that it must be weird for people (especially ones who know me irl) that i have this whole aspect of me that doesn’t fit at all with the way i present myself/live my life (for the most part- except the people who only know that part of me, of course, my students/congregation members etc). i have such a weird dual personality when it comes to this but anyway that is a HUGE can of beans for maybe another time.

but anyway here’s a bottom line about me to help us in this discussion about music on shabbat (im just gonna call it shabbat from here on cuz “the sabbath” is so weird for me to write for some reason) and holidays:

my elementary school was a secular zionist/traditional jewish day school. this might sound completely ridiculous so i’ll break it down- it wasn’t an orthodox place (girls and boys did everything together, nobody had to dress or act a certain way because of religion, and it was basically non-denominational so… secular), but it was traditional in the sense that we did morning prayers every day from the traditional (i guess u could call it orthodox) prayerbook, we learned Torah every day and everything to do with jewish traditions/ritual practices, learned about Israel, jewish history, etc. we, of course, studied all of the secular subjects (including french) at the same time. at the time i also went to a jewish summer camp from age 6-12, but it was more traditional and pretty jewish/israel intensive. we also prayed every day, observed shabbat in the orthodox sense (no electricity, no “work”, special activities, lots of food and rest), and even had special events on certain days like tisha b’av (the fast day commemorating the destruction of the temple), and maccabiah games at the end of the summer (like color war/olympics, but we had to talk hebrew the whole time or we lost points XD). my favorite part of camp was an event called ma’apilim, where the counselors would wake us up in the middle of the night and the entire camp would run through this simulation of the experience of the holocaust refugees being smuggled into palestine in the mid-40s. i can describe that whole experience for you in detail if you want but maybe not right now since i’ve rambled so much already.

SUFFICE TO SAY i grew up in a seriously jewish environment, but not a religious home. as a teenager i went to a jewish high school, though not at all as religious, and became active in my synagogue youth group. OH also, when i was 9, my parents switched us over to the reconstructionist synagogue (from a conservative one) so my sisters and i could have a real bat mitzvah (in orthodox and conservative shuls girls aren’t allowed to read from the Torah like boys do). so thru high school i was very involved in jewishy things and my synagogue, and i got really attached to reading Torah and the prayer service in my synagogue. my reason for emphasis is because, as i’ve said, i’d been exposed to the traditional prayer service for most of my life, but praying in this shul has always been a completely different experience.

in school and in camp, despite the traditional service (and separation of boys and girls, in camp only), i was always able to sing out loud as much as i wanted. but, traditionally, prayer is lead by an individual- the cantor- and the congregation (and the rabbi) only “participates” out loud in certain parts. that’s how it is in most synagogues in montreal except the temple and mine. in my shul, we’ve never had a cantor, and the entire service is basically communally led. our rabbi was also very special. our leader for 40 years, he was a pioneer in the reconstructionist movement, creating his own prayer book (not new prayers, just his own translation and commentary and additions) and passover haggadah. he wasn’t a singer, but he had a musical soul and when he led prayers it just moved me every time. the tunes for the prayers were sometimes the same as the traditional melody, and sometimes not. it always took me awhile to get used to new melodies or songs he would introduce (i’m so inflexible, what a shock), but i would always eventually suck it up. for him. basically for 25+ years i got used to doing things a certain way in my shul. i also watched through the years as new people came and left, including my entire generation (moved away/got married/not interested in synagogue), until the whole makeup of my shul was essentially completely different. but we’ve always had a few core members that stuck around, and the melodies have always remained. i was always proud to carry it on.

so, a little about the reconstructionist movement and synagogues in montreal. reconstructionism began post-holocaust when the founder, mordechai kaplan, realized how difficult it was becoming for people to continue to have faith in  religion after such trauma. people couldn’t connect, or didn’t want to be involved at all anymore. so the movement began as a place for these people, to maintain a connection to judaism without feeling the pressure of having to believe in god or accept all of the traditional tenets of the religion. this isn’t the same as reform, by the way, which a lot of people think is the only other denomination of judaism besides orthodox/conservative. i don’t wanna give a lesson on denominations rn, but basically reconstructionism is all about adapting and shaping judaism so that it can fit into your life and inform your values without infringing on however else you choose to live. okay all of that just to get to this motherfuckingpoint:

playing music on shabbat/(certain) holidays is part of the laws of shabbat, codified by rabbis during the temple period as part of the Talmud. these laws, which are basically a breakdown of all the things you cannot or must do on shabbat, are what is considered oral Torah, just as binding as the laws in the written Torah from moses. they had to break it down because “on the 7th day you must rest” isn’t exactly specific, so how can you know if you break the law? there are 39 things that are listed as “work” which you cannot do on shabbat. the two main reasons for not playing an instrument on shabbat are: the instrument might break and you might be tempted to fix it (and in so doing, do one of the 39 acts), and the fact that instruments were played in the Temple, and we’re not supposed to be doing anything they did in the Temple until we’ve built the new one (hence no more sacrifices even tho almost the entire book of leviticus deals with the priestly ritual laws).

okay so those are the rules. now, for me personally. what’s my problem? i’m a member at a reconstructionist synagogue, not an orthodox one. i’m not a religious person. i don’t keep the laws of shabbat on a regular basis. what. is. my. problem?

maybe i should have mentioned, along with my heavily traditionally influenced childhood, there was also a point in my life where i did decide to keep all the rules. for about 5 years in my mid twenties i became completely zealous when it came to the laws of shabbat/holidays (maybe cuz i was trying to get my jewish teaching career off the ground idek). i walked 45 minutes each way to shul. i even walked clear across town on saturdays to get to the theatre in time to meet my mom for the ballet at 8pm after sunset. i made them turn off the microphones if i was going to be on the bimah (pulpit) in shul. i was a bit insane, but nobody was offended and neither was i, i just tried it out and eventually decided it wasn’t for me.

i guess what i’m trying to say is that my problem with music in synagogue comes from a few places: 1- my “traditional/religious” brain saying NO it’s just NOT ALLOWED, IT’S TOO MUCH. YOU BREAK SO MANY RULES AS IT IS, and i guess that’s harder to turn off than i would like 2- the shul i grew up in and love was one where our collective voices were the instrument, and that alone has had a huge impact on my spiritual growth. i don’t like being drowned out (my own and other’s voices) when i’m praying. 3- while my rabbi occasionally would whip out the guitar, this new rabbi has it out every single shabbat. to me, prayer and ritual worship are not a performance. when i see someone on a “stage”- in this case the bimah- with an instrument, i’m in the mind frame of a concert, and all of my attention is focused on the musician. i just can’t pray like that. when i lived in nyc i worked at this huge reform synagogue that had like 5 rabbis and 3 cantors and every friday night service was like a broadway spectacle with a full orchestra and choir and what not. it was beautiful, but i couldn’t concentrate on the praying. i don’t know how many people could. i understand that for most people music in itself is a spiritual experience, and that makes complete sense, but for me, my spiritual experience in synagogue is hearing voices in prayer.

i just realized i didn’t talk about yom kippur specifically. yk is one of the only times of the year that most jews in the world decide to do the exact same thing (the other is passover). jews who eat bacon every morning and work all day on saturday will put their lives aside and fast. most will even be in synagogue for kol nidre (the night before) or neilah (the night of), depending on your ethnic background (for ashkenazis the former is most important, for sephardim the latter). the main part of the kol nidre service (which is the beginning of yk), is the kol nidre prayer itself, which is supposed to be chanted 3 times, starting off soft and each time getting progressively louder. as a child i led the kol nidre service once in the conservative shul where we went, and it was unbelievable i’ll never forget it, so i’ve always had a special connection to this prayer and melody. in my current shul we’ve always had a choir, and a cantor, for the occasion, much like many traditional congregations do. i’ve never really liked it because i can’t sing aloud all three times, and therefore don’t feel the same connection to the prayer, but i dealt with it. bringing in an orchestra was just kinda a last straw i guess? i didn’t want to have to deal with all of that negative bitterness as i’m trying to ask god to nullify my vows so i can be clean again.

oy gevalt. this was an essay, and not a well thought out one at that. sorry :// my main point is, basically, that for me music on shabbat is complicated, and it’s not just about the law, because clearly i’m not a “follow every law” kinda person. i don’t feel like i fit into any particular jewish mold, thanks to my upbringing, and i can’t really connect to any of the denominations, so i pick and choose what’s meaningful to me. luckily i stuffed a lot of information into my brain (thank you mcgill jewish studies), and i feel more comfortable doing so than i might have in my youth because i actually know and understand my options. maybe i’m not the best jew i can be, but i’m trying to be the best divvy. :)