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hecohansen31 · 5 years ago

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Could you please please continue where you left off with the foursome it is sooo good!

(A/N): Hello there, lovely!

I finally managed to continue THIS and I hope you’ll like it, mostly because I was honestly half-convinced of leaving it just like that, because it just felt better, but I managed to conjure up something and I hope it isn’t too bad.

Also: MY ASKS ARE OPEN! I am saying this because I am extremely uninspired and usually receiving prompts help me a bit, so if you want to send one in, THIS IS THE RIGHT TIME.

And now off the to the fic!

WARNINGS: Past Trauma, Mention of Fight, Idiots being Idiots, Poly-Relationship.

You had been wandering around the shopping center for the entire day, since you hadn’t felt like going home and the pretty decorations in the center were thoroughly the only thing that kept you happy.

Sometimes you would spot some couples, standing around the huge Christmas tree of the shopping center, and your stomach would flip.

You knew that not only by running away you had proven what Michael had told you, but you were also very much aware that they wouldn’t want you, anymore, at home.

Ever, again.

You entered the millionth bookshop, thinking about whether you should have gotten or not another coffee, although you felt nervous enough that you were aware tonight you wouldn’t been sleeping.

Which wasn’t such a damage since you were well aware you couldn’t come back home to sleep there, and you hadn’t been able to actually meet Violet, since she had bailed out at the last minute, something for which you were thankful since you had come there crying and had stood in your car, till you were collected enough to meet people.

Which was pretty much a lie, since you had had to rush in the first bathroom you were able to find a few minutes after you had set a foot in the shopping center.

You had still shopped a bit, mostly because as they said ‘shopping therapy is the best therapy’ and more importantly because doing gifts got your mind out of any bad thoughts you might still hold about the entire ‘incident’, which had happened that morning.

But you couldn’t help but pass through an expensive boutique and think about that time Michael got you to finally enter one, although you were scared shitless because you were sure the shopping clerks would judge you, but Michael had just grabbed your hand and marched you in.

Or think about that time that Jim had spent an entire day inside of the newest edgy surfer shop, as you passed right in front of it, watching it and going back with your mind to the time when you had commissioned Jim a new surfboard for Christmas, with symbols on it for each of his lovers.

Even the freaking bookshop you were at, smelled like Duncan and you were starting to tear up again, when somebody bumped against your shoulder, and, turning around, you almost slapped them with your shoulder.

You were surprised to find out it was actually Duncan and weren’t being crazy.

The man looked definitely not surprised to see you there, a sad smile on his face and his eyes lightly hazed as if he hadn’t been able to focus onto anything that wasn’t you, that day.

And then he crashed into you and you finally allowed yourself to be weak in front of him, crying in his chest in almost a desperate way, meanwhile he gently caressed your back, letting you cry into him, as he shielded you from anything.

When you, finally, moved away from him, he gently held you close, before he led you out in a calmer place, right next to your car, as you shivered lightly, more due to emotion than actual coldness.

“The guys have called me, after you went away, they were worried…” he gently said, although it just made you feel more guilty “… but they wouldn’t let me know what had happened”.

“… it was just a misunderstanding” you mumbled, trying to smile lightly, although it didn’t reach your eyes “… I didn’t think they would be so worried to bother you”.

“You never bother me, never ever” he gently said, before he squeezed you in his arms “… but I think that this is much more than a misunderstanding: Jimmy and Michael are screaming at each other bloody murder back at home and won’t let me in, and you are crying, and the worst is that nobody is talking and I need to know what happened, to help you all”.

You sniffled a bit, trying to calm your breathing in order to be able to talk without sobbing.

“… I… I know it is silly to be jealous of any of you… but I feel… I feel sometimes pushed out. Last night Jimmy had a nightmare and he wouldn’t listen to me, while I tried to calm down, he only followed Michael… and they… I felt left out and it hurt…” a quiet look of understanding fell onto Duncan’s face: too many time he had been left out the same way, but he also understood that they needed their own time alone “… this morning… I was pissed and I went out for a walk to clear my head… Michael and I got in an argument and then… I had to run away, I know it isn’t the best way to solve… things, but…”.

“I am not going to make you feel guilty for the way you choose to react to things, but… running away in these cases, with those two… it is… something difficult” you took a deep breath nodding slowly “… I know it firsthand how the link between Jimmy and Michael can be… but they don’t understand it, and because of that they just need to be made… aware of it, to act better and make you feel more included”.

“It isn’t just the link! I just feel like whenever… whenever somebody is hurt in our relationship, I am… I feel useless: it is almost as if you don’t think that I am strong enough to support your traumas!”.

Duncan seemed shocked by this revelation, but let you go on.

“It’s difficult for me to feel like I can only reach… certain grounds… and I am just left out… of others” you bit your lips “… it isn’t something that makes this relationship healthy, but I am… sorry for running away”.

“That was… enlightening” Duncan smirked lightly and you just punched lightly his shoulder “… you should tell that to their face, as you told this to me, on my part, I’ll try not to make you feel like that… I didn’t… think that you felt worse being excluded… I was just trying to protect you…but now I know and I am sorry”.

“I am sorry for making you worry” you mumbled as he hugged you tighter, your ears at the same level of his heart, making you hear perfectly his heartbeat, which immediately comforted you.

“Water under a bridge, lovely” he commented “… are you ready to go home?”.

Honestly… you weren’t but…your idiots needed you.

When you came home, you were rather surprised not to find the entire house trashed.

The ‘idiots’ in question were sat onto the sofa, waiting for you, since Duncan had texted them that you would be soon coming home.

You hadn’t expected the glacial silence and almost preferred the chaotic rage that Duncan had narrated you, but tried to keep your best behavior, trying not to stress yourself too much, preferring to keep calm and analyze the situation.

Whereas Jimmy was desperately looking for you, unable to talk, Michael didn’t deign you of a single glance, with a haughty air that you knew hid too well his pain.

Soon the silence became awkward and you didn’t know what to do anymore, standing there just waiting for someone to speak, but Duncan was too uninvolved to actually talk first, Michael too stubborn and Jimmy just uneasy, completely shocked.

You were their only option.

“I… am sorry, for running away, you are right Michael… it comes quite easy to me” you mumbled, meanwhile you weren’t able to look at him in the face “… but I just… I felt left off last night”.

This seemed to surprise both Jimmy and Michael, and you felt spurred on continuing your discourse.

“… I know that you aren’t doing it because… you don’t trust me, but each time you move away from me, fearing that I won’t be able to take it, it hurts me deep… it makes me feel deeply detached from each one of you… like I don’t belong here… I am useless”.

“You are not” Michael’s voice appeared crystal clear and you immediately raised your head, finding his beautiful eyes staring at you, something indecipherable in them, but you couldn’t help but feel more at ease, meanwhile Jimmy also joined in the chorus.

“We didn’t know, (Y/N), we would have… we wouldn’t have let you… feel tist way” unlike Michael’s strong voice, Jimmy’s was breaking slowly, and you just wanted nothing more than move closer and hug him, to calm and soften him “… I didn’t know… how could I fucking not…”.

“I didn’t speak about it” you mumbled, trying to reassure him “…I was jealous, which is silly to say… but I didn’t realize it… till it was too late… and I understand if you don’t want me here, anymore… itscompletelyunderstan…”.

“Deep breaths” reminded you softly Duncan, his arms gently circling around you to calm you.

“… the easy part is leaving, the hard part is… staying” spoke slowly Michael, getting up from his seat and moving in front of you, kneeling between your thighs, gently kissing one of your hands, as you quietly sobbed “… will you ever forgive me for hurting you?”.

“Just if you accept to share your stash of Christmas cookies” you joked and Michael lightly nodded, a bit of hurt still shone in his eyes but he cradled you closer, meanwhile Jimmy protested highly about being the only one left out.

And when he finally got a hold of you he softly whispered to your ear:

‘Will you forgive me for last night?’.

You just nodded softly, completely unable to deny anything to your soft Jimmy, gently kissing him on his plush lips, before Michael asked also kiss, as a jealous spoiled child, and then Duncan… and then Jimmy again.

“Well… this is truly a Christmas miracle”.

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