#as much as i love my boy mudd i want a character that i can use to represent me if i need to

[ultraternative]

i should turn myself into a rat at some point

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

sorry im gonna send you another ask cos im Obsessed with you. now do star trek. um specially ds9 but also tng pls and thank you also i love you . And you can answer for tos too if you want 😋

KICKS MY LITTLE FEETS IN THE AIR FOREVERRRRR 🤭🤭🙈🙈🙈 YAAYAYY MUTUAL OBSESSIONNNN ❣️❣️❣️❣️ILYYYY

Favorite character: tos is spock tng is data ds9 is quark HEEHEEEE 🤭🤭🤭

Second favorite character: tos is jim tng is UHM. IMPOSSIBLE TO CHOOSE. BUT MY SWEET ANGEL WESLEY 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 OR MY SILLY ANGEL WORF 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 and ds9 i loveeee jadzia… 💙💙💙

Least favorite character: tos i dont dislike anyone on the crew so probably mudd bc even tho i really love his eps hes a good villain hes also a misogynist </3 tng is pulaski like SORRYYY to all the thinkpiece bitches out there saying its not feminist to hate her bc shes basically the same as bones its like. 1. okay so shes kind of badly written bc they just tried to rip off bones and 2. her thing with data isnt the same as his with spock bc spock was bitchy right back but data just didnt get it. so she was just being straight up cruel to him all the time and nobody defended him. YEAH SHE GOT ME HEATED. and ds9 i got distracted by so many other tv shows shes been on hiatus for a bit but kai winn booooo we hate your ass 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻

The character I’m most like: now. Uhm. literally fighting one million years with myself to determine kirk or spock and i never fully decided so we will leave it at they are two sides of the same coin and that coin is MEEEE ^_^. tng is hard to say bc i love them all but none of them ever grabbed me by the throat and shoved me into a mirror like so many other shows have done. i think either data geordi or picard (minus his leadership skills) would be the closest fit for me. and well as those who were here for biquark url know. 😏🤭

Favorite pairing: tos is obviously spirk 5ever and always like it changed the world. they are the fucking blueprint for everything they invented gay people. tng literally everything is so fun i think everyone has huge chemistry such interesting dynamics with each other. deanna and riker invented t4t bi4bi love but then geordi and data invented my lovely robot wife but then rikorf invented silly boy and autistic boy love and then qcard invented me and my wet crumpled paper bag weirdo boyfriend. HOW COULD I DECIDE… 💔💔 and ds9 quodo is everythang… i love you sillies ❤️

Least favorite pairing: this has less to do with tos and more the crimes of other trek series using tos characters but. spuhura i guess you had some moments but why did they do both your characters the disservice :(( and tos chapel and spock was so nice and hurting like i love her she crucified herself for the right to love a stoic alien (girl i get ittt) and snw fucking slaughtered her. literally feel sick thinking about how horribly they adapted her. evil and sick and twisted. anyways. tng i didnt love geordis weird hologirlfriend and also barclay stay your ass away from any woman on board. ds9 whaaaleeeee i dont really hate anything at the moment ^-^ i guess when i swing back around to it i may have more to say…. 🧐

Favorite moment: OHHHOHHHHOHHH. WELL. tos pretty much anything with spock he is my beautiful angel. but ill say the entirety of city on the edge of forever its so insanely good and has me vomiting up blood. oh also i love kevin riley when he goes crazy and is singing to the ship :•) tng oh god when data is on that planet with the little girl hes pen pals with. ingrained in my brain forever. but there are honestly so many moments i could name like i think they might be my favorite crew ever like i said the chemistry between each and every character is so fucking amazing. and also horny. i love you deanna and riker 🫶🏻 and ds9 frankly im obsessed with quark and the undercover girl ferengi bc hes so bisexual with her in drag well um. who said that

Rating out of 10: 10/10 fucking all around forever theyre my three beautiful weed smoking girlfriends. We Dont Have To Talk About The Movies.

[mach1ne-g1rl]

once again Comparing/Crossing over ROTTMNT with Something Else™. Today I bring you Fire Emblem Fates Rottmnt ! I'm thinking abt this as if it were an AU and the turtles take up the royal childrens' places. This is gonna be long, TLDR at the end.

First obv is deciding which side they're on and I do that by basing their personalities off of the other characters. So I was thinking Nohr. I think Hoshido would be a good fit for the sake of "Being The Good Guys" and Karai would make a great Mikoto, but the 4 siblings just. don't fit for the Rise Siblings, I don't think. Ryoma for Raph MAYBe works? Takumi for Leo or Donnie is like. Alright. I can't see Hinoka being anyone and Sakura is way too shy and (for lack of a better word) weak ? And I think I'd want April to be Corrin, only cuz I don't know who else Corrin could be.

I find the Nohr Siblings to be the best fit. Xander as Raph, alright I can see some differences but mainly I think it works. Camilla as Leo I think it alright. They're both laid back but deadly and. Look, they're both the face people. Kind of. Camilla is definitely self aware though. Leo as Donnie ??? literally a perfect match idc. I think it's a little funny that Leo doesn't fit Leo but oh well. Mikey for Elise also works really well I think, very friendly & the sunshine in everyone else's lives.

I have no idea who the Hoshido Siblings would be then but that's alright they don't matter here ..!! Azura I have /some/ thoughts for. My first was she's Venus de Milo (i know not rottmnt technically) but she could also just be Big Mama's Assistant since I feel like they're definitely supposed to be a turtle. I also have never read or seen anything where Venus was in so maybe their personalities don't fit at all. My second thought was Casey Jr. I don't have much to explain besides that I just . it makes sense in my head ? Like we don't know that much of Casey jr to begin with and maybe he's more excitable than Azura but !! Really don't know who else would be her !!! Someone help me !!!

Ughhhhh okay I know Draxum would be King Garon and the Dragon Form thing would be like Kuroi Yuroi Draxum but FUCKKK YOU UU!!! Hes my babygirl and im really upset You're making me do this ,, thats messed up,,,,,,, im just a little boy,,,,, who likes draxum ,,,,,,,,, how could u

The rest of Nohr is like the foot clan ig idk, Iago would be like Foot Lieutenant , Hans is Foot Brute .. I want Cass to be SOMEone but mm I have no clue who? Rinkha seeeems kind of close imo but she's not on Nohr's side so it might not be fitting? idk

April as Corrin also doesn't seem exactly right (mostly to me just cuz Corrin's the third youngest, but April's the oldest in the show) But it could still work I think kind of. Alternatively Casey could be Corrin? Might be a better fit? Then maybe April could be Azura ,, same 1st letter of their names ,,, But I think April Corrin works alright (especially if Karai is Mikoto :3) Mainly cuz I don't think April for Azura works that well, they're pretty different

Maybe the purple dragons are hoshido? or idfk the mudd dogs,, I don't think there's any other Group that has at least 3 members (besides the cookie scout girls but erm)

TL;DR: They're the Nohr siblings (Xander Raph, Camilla Leo, Leo Donnie, Elise Mikey, Corrin April), Draxum is King Garon (begrudgingly) and Azura is either Venus de Milo/BM's Assistant or Casey Jr :3

I'd love to hear others' thoughts I am begging for others' thoughts cuz I fucking !! love !!! talking abt this shit I love love love doing this Im so autistic

[noitsbecky127]

rebecca watches tos: i, mudd

a guy said “morning sir. doctor” to spock and bones and bones has decided this is Wrong somehow

bones you just described spock

fair point, it’s definitely out of the ordinary for a human, but even so idk if it necessarily means there’s something wrong

god these two cannot stand each other I love them

oh ok there’s definitely something wrong, but mostly bc the new crewman just KNOCKED A GUY OUT

so basically you’ve lost control of the enterprise at this point

oh and now he’s on the bridge, we haven’t even gotten to “space the final frontier” yet and things are already fucked

…we?

oh christ it’s androids again?

ok so where’s the ship GOING

obv I know it’s that mudd dude bc of the summary but why is he doing this

so they just have a deactivated android in the middle of the bridge now?

oh he awakens

the android said please. I love this show

ah here he is, harry mudd

“jamie boy” idk whether I love or hate that

what does mudd want with them though

what so he’s just gonna…keep them here? indefinitely? why though

christ how many identical female androids does he have

500?! who the FUCK needs 500 identical female androids

“which you, unfortunately, are ill-equipped to appreciate” damn even mudd can tell spock is gay

jim: did you pay royalties to the owners of these patents mudd: *bluescreens* spock: he did not pay royalties

I was CONVINCED that the Federation didn’t do money anymore but TOS references it WAY too much for that to be a thing, so where did this idea come from

listen fuck cops and all that but I have no sympathy for mudd

I love Jim translating Mudd’s sugarcoating of what happened into what he actually did

so who made these androids, it certainly wasn’t mudd

“they won’t let me go, they want to study me” ah ok so you brought the enterprise crew here to replace you so you can leave

oh and he complains about the nagging wife too, I hate him even more now

oh damn these guys came from andromeda

“because we don’t like you, now bupbupbup” captain kirk being eloquent as ever

well everyone knows they’re in trouble at least

spock is doing his best

“don’t you believe in male androids” jim your bisexual is showing

of course the woman’s intrigued by the possibility of eternal beauty, why wouldn’t she be, what else would I expect from the 60s

“jim you should see the research facilities” honestly that’s in character for bones

why is scotty here

well if EVERYONE on the enterprise is beamed down, who’s gonna get them back up?

ah, that’s the idea

fucking mudd

chekov is just having the time of his life lmao

better than leningrad? that’s probably high praise, wow

oh boy they’ve suckered in scotty with good engineering

they’re bluescreening the android now huh

“it’s a beautiful lady and we love her!” fuck dude it sure is

I love how Jim keeps asking for his ship like the answer will be different this time

oh so now the androids are just taking the enterprise for themselves, can’t decide whether that’s better or worse

“how do you know so much?” “i asked them” “oh”

oh so there ARE male androids then

so they just gotta confuse the androids?

“I fail to understand why I should care to induce my mother to purchase falsified patents” that tracks, we know Spock loves his mom

bones’s best weapon: his hyposprays

this makes no sense, uhura would never betray them

oh ok, it was a fake betrayal, love that for them

wrf is this dance routine they’ve got going on here

what is chekov DOING

I think they just broke these two androids

did spock just try to nerve pinch the android

spock had to say illogical things. worst day of his life

scotty is a very good actor

this is a goddamn improv skit I stg

improv fucking killed the androids

a classic paradox also killed the androids

spock out here claiming he doesn’t feel unhappiness as if he isn’t canonically a sad drunk

“as long as you continue to be an irritant, harry” so, forever

the nagging wife wins 😌

I fucking love this show

[plutoswrath]

i’m sorry to annoy you with this again. i just look up to your kpop mixed with astrology content. but lucas’s neptune contact with his mc is going to annoy the shit out of me until this is fixed. the cloudiness that neptune brings to his public image is something that i think possibly fuels these situations further. false accusations and mixed perceptions based off of them is exactly what makes these scandals to continue on and on. and i’m sick of it. both sides ignore what the other is saying and it gets nowhere. neptune, the malefic bastard.

Hello! I saw your recent asks and I appreciate your words regarding my content, thank you so much for the kind words! <3

I will touch on astrolgy under the cut, but before this happens, I want to leave a few words. There's a reason why I didn't answer the previous questions I received (not only yours op) regarding the Lucas situation so far. For several reasons I didn't want to feed into any sort of (perceived) sensationalism in regards to the Lucas situation, even though I'd really love to look at the situation from an astrological point of view. That people are divided on this topic is to be expected, but I think the way it has been handled by majority so far is very bad. I really want to elaborate on my reasoning why we should rethink the way we talk about/represent the Lucas situation right now, but as this topic is very kpop specific everything will be under the cut.

My reasoning for avoiding any questions about it until now:

1. People already don't take the situation seriously enough: Regardless of what your standpoint is, I'd like for people to consider looking at it from a more critical point of view for a second: The allegations are not about him being exposed as ‘just a f-boy’ as some people make it out to be, they are more serious than that. Lucas allegedly manipulated and used these women for his own emotional/sexual/financial needs and ego boost. The fact that he has money and allegedly still used other people to provide financially for him just demonstrates the power play underneath it all. He abused his position of power as an idol, the power dynamics between him and fans who idolize him are plain and simple just completely off. Please think about the fact, that he allegedly decided who to date on at fansigns. This alone gives no security to any fans that want to attend fansigns in the future. TW SV: he also talked one of these women into having sex with him + doing it unprotected, which is not only emotionally/sexually manipulative/coercive and can possibly be traumatic for them but also heightens the risk for transfering STD's as END TW he was supposedly seeing people at the same time/cheating. In general, the behavior he gets accused of leaves trauma and is abuse, to be more specific abuse of power on multiple levels and his social position makes it just easier to continue abusing that power. As you've mentioned yourself op, there is a huge back and forth about the allegations, and I know people like to take situations like the one of Taeyong as an example to justify that not every public apology is real and that allegations turn out to be false years later, but I believe it's different this time and that the allegations that came forward were real. Even his cbar closed, a fanbase that works closely with Label V (!), that alone shows that there is 'at least' some truth to the story, or else his hardcore fanbase wouldn't have decided to turn their back on him in matters of just days. Also, all the 'jokes' and the portrayal of 'juicy gossip' people make about the situation just downplays and ridicules the possible traumatic experiences of the people that were hurt by his actions. If anyone decides to not believe these allegations until SM gives a more specific statement, that's fine, but please do so without making fun of the people who were victims of his behavior, as there is already little to no sympathy for them online. It makes it just way harder for any survivors in the future to speak out on their experience. People say it's 'nothing illegal, just morally wrong' but given the fact that he is also a person in power, the line between 'just' morally wrong and illegal can be very thin in some cases. And please overthink arguments such as: 'this is typical boy behavior for someone in his 20's'/ 'he's just an f-boy' or 'boys will be boys' because they are deeply misogynistic and we shouldn't normalize behavior like that, thus making the root of the problem actually way deeper than most people think.

2. WayV's future: This mainly goes for people who are fans of WayV. I know not everyone probably likes to hear this, but another thing why wild speculations, sensationalism or even possible defence about this situation should be kept on the low is WayV's career. I want to be honest here, but I'm scared for their future, their comeback for october has been cancelled for now and they are put on a hiatus for several months as far as I know. They were on a good path of gaining more and more recognition and establishing themselves even better as a c-pop group, but now Luca's reputation in China (their target audience) is as good as gone and that pulls all of WayV down to rock bottom with him. People really need to try seeing the story out of the eyes of the korean and especially chinese fans as well, their perception of the allegations (especially after the Kris Wu situation!) are way different and more serious than the ones of i-fans and i-fans have to accept that. Also, we all know how companies (especially SM) handle these type of situations: keep the people on the low till the storm has calmed down. But will the storm ever calm down for Lucas when his public image is basically destroyed, and thus WayV as well? What I want people to understand is that this whole situation affects WayV and their career directly, actually on the biggest scale possible. All the work so far is at risk to be for good and I think a lot of fans tend to forget that, things look especially critical for HenXiaoYanKun if WayV would be to continue/redebute/fall apart. It doesn't matter if Lucas talking bad about the members/the companies/shows he works with/for was real or not in the end, because unfortunately damage is already done, WayV's image (WayV= family) is already tarnished and WayV as a group will suffer from this. You summed it up with malefic Neptune the best actually: We all don't know the full confirmed truth about the situation and will most likely never know it. (small astro insight here as well, but part of Neptune is to accept fantasy for what it is: fantasy, and thus turn to cold reality when you're in too deep)

3. What O'd advice the fandom to do right now: Regardless of your opinion on the situation, what we as a fandom can do best right now is staying on the low, wait things out, and stop adding more fire to the situation with our actions and wait how the situation actually developes, since a) we can not fasten the process and b) a lot of rumors, false information and unnecessary details get exposed to mudd the waters and to discredit the statement of the victims as well. I've seen some strong reactions from both sides, but as someone who's a big fan of nct in general I really just want to say that part of the fandom throwing a fit on the internet leads basically to nothing, it actually only reflects even worse on nctzens/weshennies and thus on WayV's (and also NCT as whole) image as well. Things right now are handled internal, not extern. Whatever gets through to the public will be half of the story anyway. A lot of people seem to forget, that we talk about SM and all they care for right now is saving themselves economically (think about the domino effect this situation has on the whole group/company), so we will have to see what their final decision is going to be, if anything will happen at all. For now, be patient, wait and see. Last words: It's okay to feel hurt/confused/angry/drained. Even though most of us are aware that we dont know any celebrity's character, it's still hard to swallow and to digest because you were a fan of that artist. Let it take time and vent. Take a break from it if it gets too much! Talking about it to process your emotions better is okay and very valid, but keep in mind that you should not worsen the situation by doing so - it's already absolute chaos.

Also: This statement is by no means a direct attack to anyone or me trying to push my opinion onto you, just my two cents in how to handle the situation best right now, because our hands are basically tied. Also: agree to disagree. If you don't like that I side with the victims (unless there is an official statement that Lucas is proven not guilty, which I doubt, unfortunately) then so be it, but don't start a war in my inbox for our opinions differing.

-------

Now, to astrology:

Disclaimer: This analysis will not be very light-hearted, but remember that it's just a theory and not me trying to confirm anything!

First of all op, sorry for just answering you know, but I neded some time to think through how to adress this without adding to the fire with my astrological analysis! Boy, does the birth time fit the shoe right now. To be fair as I did my short rising sign analysis about him recently, I cancelled out every other fire rising except for Leo, because I got stuck on the ego part a bit. Anything for me made sense, as long as it highlights his ego, which by itself doesn't have to be a bad thing automatically, but there's always two sides of the coin as we all know.

I looked into the transits the past week and added a few asteroids/mathematical points as well. An anon before pointed to the full moon happening in his tenth house, conjunct his sun, etc. (I deleted the ask because I didn't know what was going on at that time and thought it was just the 'usual' rumors that once in a while get spread around, but after looking more into it I decided this was not the right time to stirr the pot in any kind of way or treat it as funny, hot gos). But yeah a full Moon in Aquarius happening in his 10th house AND on top of that Saturn in Aquarius, conjuncting that Moon and his natal Uranus in the 10th! Talk about destrcution of any stable foundation and a change in a public image! Honestly, looking at astrologically the way his public image just got radically destroyed over night, with Saturn and the Moon having been in a conjunction (in his chart it was in the 10th house) is kinda eery even. Talk about collective consciousness - not only exposing quiet literally the feelings of the collective, but also doing so in the favor of others and gaining collective emotional consciousness. Take this with a grain of salt (!), because we're still in a tense situation, but I'm tapping into the darker, unfriendlier side of astrology now. Taking his confirmed birth time, he has Nessus in Sagittarius in his 8th house and as I saw that I could feel myself shifting into the surprised pikachu face. I am not saying that this prooves the allegations whatsoever, but as you seemed to be very interested in anaylzing the case in-depth as well, the allegations fit his Nessus - jumping from partner to partner, carelessness (regarding physical intimacy as well), making people share all their ressources with him/finacial gain, and basically the whole jist of gaining control/being in a power position in intimate connections. Keep in mind that this is only one interpretation of Nessus though, Nessus can also show the complete opposite to someone 'turning to their dark side'. On top of that, his Nessus was conjunct transit Phollus the past week, so if anything, we can see that a large event triggered him to 'open his eyes' and face anything of an 'obstacle' that hinders him from seeing the 'truth' to a larger picture and his own nature/destiny. Pholus can symbolize change that will alter your perception of the responsibility you have for yourself and others.

But my latest new interest with these two asteroids aside (asteroids just add a little more nuance to a situation after all), I want to touch on Lilith too, since you (op) have mentioned Lilith before in one of your asks!

He has his Lilith exactly conjunct his Descendant when we consider his confirmed birth time. What happened just now can be seen as 'backfiring' of his actions, either Lilith embodying the women who expose him now for his 'inappropriate' behavior, but also simply fans shaming him now for his alleged manipulative/imoral behavior, especially shaming him about who he chose to date and how. Next to that, you've mentioned Lilith opposite Moon and it just makes me think about him possibly feeling very indecisive and potentially in denial about what he actually needs to be fulfilled in order to be emotionally happy and thus leading to him appearing to have this 'second, dark side' to him now. BML is not necessarily opposite the Moon in my opinion, it's just the side of the subconscious we don't really like to deal with and all we're told not to express and desire because it can be conflicting in the eyes of others (thus BML also leading to a lot of recklessness on the negative side). I think if we take the allegations into consideration, regardless of how much of it is true of it, it can be a good example what happens, when an opposition gets out of balance, as it also manifests outwardly a lot! Lilith shows in his 'double life' aka what he allegedly did with fans. Lilith wanted an outlet and found one by working behind the scenes. If we take in his supposed Taurus rising, which his Lilith is in an exact opposition with, it's a good example of what can lurk underneath the surface.

And of course, last but not least, Neptune and Sun conjunct his MC. People are quiet literally blinded by him more than they would like to think. Also: Lucas was always known for his 'flirty & charismatic' nature, this is another reason why people think we shouldn't be surprised he 'turns out to be like that in real life'. I'm not analyzing this argument right now, but what I think is very interesting is how Sun conjunct MC literally ties a good amount of their personality to their career - they want to be accepted and shine for their personality/big part of their individuality. Idols play a role, no matter how transparent they appear to us, but it's really funny how this 'image' of him melts almost seemingly with parts of his personality (almost af if you were to quiet literally sell your self) and as you've mentioned: Neptune only adds to that, unfortunately.

[ayellowcurtain]

Nah, it's not the headcannoning that gets the druck folks boiling it's the who is head cannon'd with who part. All the ppl who elected Ismail x Consti and shared that view on Tumblr, rather than Twitter or Instagram, got met w a lot of resistance on here. It goes deeper than this (bc Ismail might be non-b etc), but it was the equivalent of shipping Moyo x Kato. Both have terrible traits but one was taking steps to improve (Moyo/Ismail) while the other was mostly an unapologetic @$$ (Kato/conti)

I got my first hate anons the second we got photos of the new gen. We had no information about none of them and I thought they would look cute together, and people hated me for it since then. So in my case it wasn’t the plot and info we got through the seasons. And I wrote the fic about them based on nothing but my headcanons which are obviously very different than what’s canon.

Like I said yesterday, Druck is amazing at giving us good characters from the start. So I didn’t know who Ismail or Constantin were and I just thought they looked close and good together and that was about it.

And, using your example, we know now Moyo (not much but a little) And Kto. And we know very little about Constantin, and we’re only now getting to know Ismail, mainly because well, he is the main character this season. Before that we also knew very little. And it’s funny to me because people started shipping characters without knowing them or ignored their bad traits since skam OG! I could give you a million characters with horrible traits that people often look the other way to love.

And this is absolutely no hate to any character - because it’s obvious I sometimes ship characters just because they look like an interesting couple to me before having any info - but we now don’t know anything about Lou, or much about Sascha, and for a long time even David was just beanie boy and people were shipping them already from the get go, you know?

During Nora’s season I also miscalled Ismail as a “white rich boy” because of his and Constantin’s behavior and that was a whole other explosion of hate that made me stop watching Druck and took all my enjoyment away from watching or interacting with a fandom that was constantly at my throat when they can easily misjudge and be such a hateful bunch, ready to bully you way worst than any fictional character. I apologized a bunch of times at the time for my mistake, and I also got so many messages that said it was an honest mistake, that even in Turkey that’s a mistake that happens a lot when you wrongly call someone white.

In my experience, what a big part of the tumblr druck fandom does is not “resistance” but rather not accept when people think differently than what they do. Because if you disagree with the big druck stans, you will me dragged through the mudd and they do exactly what they say they hate so much. This is only my experience but I also read a lot of other people going through similar situations where now I feel like 99% of the people I follow prefer to watch the show from the sideline to avoid the hate they might get from the core of the druck stans.

(Yesterday I completely forgot and I used “druck” inside a tag and I panicked thinking it would appear on the main tag and people would come for me again. that’s how much damaged my past experiences have caused and they are here screaming left right and center about hating bullying, not wanting a season about bullies and shit.)

[mirrorfalls]

Lego Liveblogs ST: TOS, part 10 (of who-the-hell-knows-how-many?)

Things I should’ve done last night: read at least a Sparknotes of Macbeth so I know what Dagger of the Mind is supposed to imply.

Things I didn’t do last night: that.

* Prisons? In my enlightened 23rd century? How depressingly plausible. * Now this is some straight-up Beagle Boys shit. I love it. ** Guy, I sure hope you know what it means to put on a redshirt on this ship. * "A cage is a cage, Jim.” Again, how depressingly resonant. * Don’t know if this is supposed to be deliberate foreshadowing, but: the warden never gives a name (or even a number) for the fugitive so the crew can look up his record. * “Where there is no emotion there is no motive for violence.” What Earth history have you been reading, Spock?! * Oh, the crew is in rare form today. Not even the first ad break and the guy’s caught. * Bones, try not to let your mad-scientist show so much. * Ah, here’s our real plot: go down and explore Ye Olde Space Prison, boys, and decide for yourselves... are the inmates running it now? ** ~Wacky Sitcom Music Cue~ * Okay, Kirk, I know she’s not Nurse Christine (Barrett’s schedule couldn’t fit this in, I guess?) but that’s no reason to get snippy. * That’s one accommodating warden. Too accommodating... * Okay, whatever effect they used on this lady (glass eye? Contact?) it’s creepy as fuck. * Important Theme: Can someone be rehabilitated not by being convinced to live with their wrongdoings, but by having those wrongdoings outright erased? ** Spoiler: Probably not. * Knock it off, Kirk. I guess this is supposed to be banter, but it just comes off as spiteful. * Spock, I appreciate your needing to Get To The Truth and everything, but if he’s in too much pain to talk just give him a keyboard or something to write with. * ... say, was this before A Clockwork Orange came out? * Somehow it never occurred to me this’d be the Mind Meld’s debut. ** I have to wonder what audiences back in ‘66 thought of this - today even non-fans are casually aware of it as a part of Trek lore, but in the context of the episode it comes with no foreshadowing. Hell, people probably expected Bones to be the one with the fancy mind-massage techniques. * Probably continuity-by-accident, but I do love how Kirk’s a lot more reluctant to trust the Big Scientific Authority after how things went on the last planet. ** That said: Jesus Christ man at least radio in your situation before you "test out” the Lobotomy Beam! ** Aaaaand this has turned straight into the Unprofessionalism Olympics. Someone’s got it bad for the Captain. * Gasp. Shock. Who could’ve seen this coming. * Aww, our villain ships the heroes! ** Wonder how many fans rewrote this episode so Spock was the companion... * Again - probably not by design, but Shatner’s trademark overacting really highlights how artificial all the emotions created by the beam are. ** Hinging a cliffhanger on it, though, is good for nothing but laughs. * Uh, you alright, Kirk? ** Uhh. *** Uhhhhhhhhhhh. **** Oh thank God. * Anyway - this is more proactive than anything the other ladies have gotten to do in the last nine episodes, which is nice. Alas, it still involves a hot girl crawling around on hands and knees ‘cuz Roddenberry gonna Roddenberry. * Okay, how did you guys not see him shoving her into the vent?! * Can’t believe it took me this long to realize this was where TNG got the iconic "FOUR LIGHTS!” scene from. * Tsk, tsk. Shoulda strapped him down, doctor. * Holy shit, is this the first time one of the heroines killed a villain? You go, girl. * Ah, here’s our villain’s Karmic Fate: to be reprogrammed by the same machine- ** Oop, no, wait, it just plain killed him. Another point to Mr. Spock. * Also: every second of these lovey-dovey scenes is mutually nonconsensual. Pipe down the jolly music, guys. * “Hard to believe that a man could die of loneliness.” Bit silly as a line, but it’s a deft enough show of how Kirk’s now knows penal cruelties that Bones can barely imagine.

Act for act, this episode manages to feel even pulpier than the last one - the fanservice is still cranked just north of creepy, none of the Big Themes get off the ground, and the villain barely even pretends he has some higher motive behind lobotomizing everyone (with a spinny sun lamp, yet). And yet, somehow I’m more excited at the prospect of rewatching it two or three months down the line. Maybe it’s a matter of the script being more self-aware, maybe I just want to watch Dr. #Girlboss frying that mook again and again...

Next: Our third character-based title! Will she manage to succeed where Mudd and Charlie failed? Let’s hope so.

[captaincrowe]

TV Show Tag

I was tagged by @allieice. I don’t get to do a lot of tag games on my main acc, so thank you so much! <3

Your favorite TV show: Star Trek: The Original Series. Which I’m sure pretty much everyone has figured out anyway. Bleh.

Favorite TV show character: Again, probably fairly obvious, but Spock. Love my bitchy baby boy <3

Show you thought you wouldn’t like but did: Steven Universe. I’m not a fan of most cartoons as a rule, mostly because I’m picky about animation styles and can’t pay attention if I’m not at least okay with it, but SU is so freaking cute, both in terms of visuals and stories. And it’s really emotionally powerful, too.

Favorite TV show ship: Spirk. No competition.

A show you used to like but don’t like anymore: ...Sherlock is an obvious answer, but like... That’s partially because I realized I was being treated like shit by a lot of people. I mean, the other part was the shitshow that was s4 but... Tbh, I was starting to drift away before that. Whatever. I don’t regret the good things it gave me, but it’s safe to say it’s behind me. Anyway, the other one is Supernatural. I still like the first five seasons and the crack episodes, but I’m a huge believer in sticking to the story you want to tell and not dragging things on just because you can.

If you were able to be a character in a TV show, which one would you pick? I just want to be a xenoanthropologist on a TOS-era starship and bond with a sweet, nerdy Vulcan chick. Is that too much to ask?

A show you want to watch but still haven’t started: All the Treks I haven’t watched yet, Black Mirror, Firefly, Stargate, Black Sails... And I want to finish watching The Twilight Zone and then watch the new one.

A TV show you started way after everyone else: Brooklyn 99. I started watching it right before it got briefly cancelled.

Last TV show you watched: Once again, the answer is Star Trek: The Original Series (EP: I, Mudd) because (1) that’s my emotional support space show and (2) I rewatch the episodes I have memorized when I have brainless, mundane chores to do.

I’m going to tag @vigaylant , @foolish-principalitee , and @siarven . (Only if you want to!) Also, if anyone else wants to do it, feel free to tag me in your response!

[ardentlytrans]

D&D OC Ask-- Do....Do ALL for Miriah!! In honor of KotMF Finishing!! (Or, at least, what you can answer/ want to answer, LoL~)

1. What influenced or inspired the creation of this character?

 Gosh I think I knew the group needed a healer, and the first god that sounded interesting was this “path of the light” thing, so I made up this whole character who had done something “unforgivable” and needed redemption, and found it through this idea of always moving forward and bettering yourself. Then I was looking through backgrounds and found the “bounty hunter” one, and the idea of Miriah was born!

2. What is your character’s relationship with their family? Family is a word which here refers to biological relatives, close companions, and/or the individual(s) who raised them. 

WHOO boy I can’t wait to see what her village/family is like, I think she had a very good relationship with her parents, and a very loving relationship with her husband, she had a really nice life up until she ruined it.

3. Who is the closest person to them? 

Right now, probably Nevarra? They’ve been through the most together, and I think Miriah sees that they were serving as team mom for a while and is happy to take that off their shoulders. Also she’s excited to marry them to Jeffery! She feels a lot of nostalgia for that true love vibes

4. What were the conditions surrounding their formative years? 

She grew up working in a library and married her highschool sweetheart, and taught swordplay and literature to the village kids like her parents. She didn’t really have higher aspirations, the only “adventure” she got was reading about the Path of the Light and trying to follow that. 

5. What creature would they like to have as a pet?

MUDD she loves horses, they were p much too poor for one her whole life but she was 100% a horse kid and never grew out of it. As soon as she gets a long rest she is prepping Find Steed and Ceremony, nothing else matters ever again. 

6. Do they have any bad habits? 

She ups and runs when things get too hard (I was about to roll to decide if she would pull Nevarra through and sacrifice herself or just run and not look back), and probably bites her nails.7. Is there anyone they’d die for? Kill for? 

Uh the revolution/this gang grew into her heart real fast, so them! 

8. Who was their first love?

EMMETT she loves him so much, she’d dated or had crushes before but nothing as immediate and true as that 3 

9. How would this character react to someone confessing their love for them?

Now? She might be open to it, if she’d known them for a while at least. It would take her a long time to love them back. She needs to reconcile with her family first. 

10. How old is this character?

I think 39? I’d have to check my sheet 

11. Are they normally peaceful or aggressive?

Idealy peacefull, but life hasn’t had room for that for a while.

12. How does this character handle stress?

Grits her teeth and keeps going, or turns and runs.

13. Does your character consider themselves lucky?

I mean she’s a halfling she is inherently lucky but, not really? She feels like she’s fighting a loosing battle a lot of the time. 

14. What is their favorite holiday? 

Oh idk,,,,, probably her and Emmetts aniversarry. Even after all this she still keeps that day free of plans and just spends it thinking about him and trying to make peace. 

15. What is the best gift they could receive?

Right now? a long bath and sleep. 

16. If they could instantly kill one person in the world without consequence, who would it be? 

Hmm, she doesn’t really have any enemies anymore? I guess if anyone from the thieves guild that killed Emmett is stil kicking, them (though I feel like that would have been her first priority after he died)17. If they were in possession of a trio of wishes, what would their three wishes be? 

oh gosh i think she’d save them….. she wouldn’t want to bring Emmett back, maybe if she could go back and make it so they had enough money and none of the bad stuff ever happened? otherwise she’d save them for the next emergency situation. 

18. What is their favorite spell or method of attack?

RAPIER TO ThE GROIN + DIVINE SMITE 19. What are their guilty pleasures?

BATHS and art galleries20. What is something this character is or could be addicted to? 

Nothing really? She doesn’t really have any hobbies or anything that she’s kept up with. 21. Have you actually played this character yet?

YES since may I think? She’s been so fun, and I am sad to see our last session come but SO HAPPY with how this campaign has run

[brolinjosh]

inspired by quicksiluer’s spoilerish review of the last jedi, below is my SPOILER FILLED REVIEW OF THE MOVIE and basically rambling about what i loved and what i strongly disliked. 

point is i loved the movie but i do have some issues on certain topics, but overall 8/10

things i loved:

luke skywalker, my childhood adoration for him never stopped, he was fantastic, everything that involved him was amazing and i greatly enjoyed it.

leia/luke meeting. i gasped. i was emo. it was heart-wrenching and beautiful, painful and so memorable, literally favorite part of the movie.

EVERY SCENE WITH LEIA EVER

luke/kylo fight was kinda predicable from the perspective where i expected kylo to shoot him with all he’s got and luke to survive it and walk out of the fire like a dramatic boss ass bith.

kylo being the main bad dude was unexpected for me, but i fucking enjoyed it a lot bc luke and him are my absolute faves followed by leia, i am trash for skywalkers what can i say

kylo/leia scene had me on the edge of my seat i was shit scared it was unexpected and thrilling. 

suddenly discovered unexpected love for poe dameron bc in first movie i didn’t care about him, he was okay, but he didn’t have memorable scenes, at least for me, compared to the rest of the movie, but in this movie i loved how his role was larger than in the last one and he swept me off my feet, oscar did an amazing job.

rose was new character that i did not expect to get attached to or like but i love that girl and i loved all scenes with her and tbh my female faves are leia and her 

finn. amazing. showstopping. talented. heart eyes at my man.

things i disliked:

luke’s death. HONESTLY??? WHY??? he had so much more to give, we could have had more dramatic/sad/good luke moments and he just reunited with the force after that awesome fucking badass fight and how he played kylo it was amazing i needed more of luke dragging his nephew’s cocky ass through the mudd and showing him who is the most powerful one. when he said he wanted kylo to strike him down in anger, after seeing how his death actually looked like, kylo killing him with a lightsaber would have been a much better and devastating, when he actually died i was a bit thrown off for 2 minutes until i realized what was happening. he should have not gone out so peacefully he should have gone out with a fucking bang. that was luke fucking skywalker. an iconic hero of a generation i will die bitter. 

rey/kylo force chatting. looked weird and out of character for both of them. rey was inconsistent in her thought process towards kylo. all that who will pass on who’s side was a drag and unnecessary. leave good guys to be good, leave bad guys to be bad. stop making that weird drama it was just stressing me out.also it seemed like it would have some sort of romantic connotation, which, had it happened, i would have walked out of that cinema and disown my love for new star wars movies. luckily, that did not happen, but all kylo/rey drama... i am not here for that.

rey “betraying” luke’s trust and his will to train her so she can find out more about kylo and possibly fix the bad guy who she previous called monster who cannot be redeemed for what he had done to his father. i had some love for rey in the first movie, now she is too inconsistent for me to care about her. 

snoke dying???? all that building up and suspense over this character to have him die in a sort of expected way, with that speech and all?? i do love that kylo my love is in charge but still i thought they would do something more badass with snoke

hux is fucking unnecessary at this point and looks/sounds like a dictator and is cringy af.

not nearly enough scenes with finn. i love my boy and he deserved more scenes, we saw what john boyega can do with this character if given enough space and scenes and they did not use his talent and let him show off how amazing he is and i am a little upset about it. 

[aceofwands]

Ria hateblogs Discovery Episode 5: “Choose Your Pain” (do I even need to retitle this one?) (not liveblogged to @kendradaynes for a change)

Okay here we go!

right ... fancy blurr-o vision of an empty ship, and oh look, it’s Michael facing herself - dream sequence?

yep. dream sequence

Michael talking to the Doctor about how they’re torturing the Tardis, oops I mean Tardigrade

What a veeeeery spiky starbase

Lorca talking to Admirals, who want to use the technology - wait, Starfleet didn’t already have the specs for the spore drive??? 

OH GOOD they’re HUNTING the Tardigrades! THAT seems like something Starfleet would do

Lorca is all “we’re the only ones who can do this” uuuuugh it’s just so unbelievable

what interesting friends Tilly? there are no other characters on this show

STRESSED Tilly?! WTF she has MORALS, not stress

UGH I did NOT need to see that Lorca - so they can fix his eyes but he doesn’t trust doctors? good lord

is it just me or is the admiral hella wooden? it’s probably just the dialogue

“why give everyone another reason to judge you?” for the drama. obviously

“are you uncomfortable with the power I’ve been given Admiral?” she might not be, but I am, cause it makes no damn sense - Sisko didn’t have this much power and DS9 was literally on the front line of the Dominion War

“i’m your friend” wait really?

my ship, my way - ah yes, that old Starfleet motto

LOL

Lorca just got picked up by a Klingon ship, where exactly is the Discovery in all this? where is the ship in relation to the space station??? 

skipping the intro cause I cbf today, it’s boring anyway

how does Discovery in orbit of a planet look LESS realistic than the old shows? TOS’s Enterprise on a string was more realistic ffs!

LOL it’s POSSIBLE the Klingons have figured out the spore drive exists - YOU THINK? what did they THINK would happen if they kept using it?

“do you have proof that we are harming it?” I mean, its screams of pain???

why would Saru continue to trust her and allow her to operate, given his own reservations

LOL I love how the list of Starfleet’s ‘decorated captains’ is LIMITED TO THE FEW CAPTAINS WE KNOW ABOUT, come ON show as IF there haven’t been people over the DECADE since Enterprise we don’t know about!!

also Georgiou is the ONLY WOMAN ON THE LIST

Saru getting the computer to tell him how to be a better captain ... uuuugh because Michael makes him doubt himself? you wouldn’t want to ever question your own decisions, would you Saru??

oh good. Mudd.

ahahahaha at least we get a bit of amusement finally  .... even his exposition is boring though

wow, these Klingons really can’t talk

oh

oh wow

this is what every Star Trek shows need, Klingons brutally beating up a prisoner to remind us they’re bad guys 

from what they’ve established of Lorca so far, I find it hard to believe he HAS reservations about not letting other Starfleet officers or people be injured instead of him, that’s how shady his morals are

wait, the Doctor isn’t the CMO? where are the actual senior officers on this show?!!! we don’t see the Chief Engineer, the CMO, everyone we do see on the Bridge are just role-less bridge officers there to give orders to

“you are the cause of this situation Burnham” ummmmm that is blatantly untrue?

shoulda got those eyes fixed Lorca

lol “or a liar” Lorca is SUCH AN ASSHOLE

OH GOOD implied sexual assault! 

“of course you did, the moment you decided to boldly go where no one had gone before” uuuugh this dialogue

“sick and tired of getting caught in the crossfire”, but I thought we hadn’t seen the Klingons in 100 years ??? what other war or ‘crossfire’ have Federation citizens been in, exactly?????

so glad they only have 3 crewmembers on this extremely important research project! an expert, a cadet, and a criminal! THAT’S believeable 

they’re still calling it Ripper ... great ...

soooo it’s a Jaegar? they need to Drift? human controlled mushroom spore drive, the “science” of this is fucking ridiculous

“no cadet, it is fucking cool” w o w, what Star Trek dialogue

finally a Klingon speaking English

they just look so fucking stupid with their spiky armour and giant heads, like how is it that huge glam rock hair and creaky rubber armour still looks more real than these Klingons???

lol, no one’s told Saru about the plan to fix the Spore Drive

lol, Saru trusted Burnham to listen to him - why would he? how stupid can he be? she literally never listens to any orders. ever

“I gave you an order, do you understand?” > her long winded answer = no

“your actions show me what you are” lol yeah

but also way to ignore the ethical issue of torturing the Tardigrade ENTIRELY what the actual fuck

why are they all so terrible

“we both know you lost that [your decency] with your last command” oh good, Lorca backstory

“apparently, the honorable Captain was too good to go down with his ship” - OH but he blew up the ship so the crew wouldn’t be tortured on Qo’noS 

WHAT a Starfleet officer folks! someone for us all to admire and be inspired by, not.

ugh back to Saru. I hate him SO MUCH, he is just driven by his fucking hatred and distrust of Michael

why don’t they pull a Lorca and transmit its cries of pain across the ship

OH GOOD they’ve killed it!

WHO COULD POSSIBLY HAVE PREDICTED THIS?

oh no, it’s not dead, it’s just dehydrated itself

“rehydrate it and bring it back” FUCK OFFFFF SARU

YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE

“I will not be party to murder” wow, so glad at least one crewmember has morals - but ofc it’s the doctor

awwww, the Starfleet officer volunteering to be beaten instead of Mudd - the only one who has morals - the only Starfleet officer so far who deserves the title

LORCA IS SUCH A COWARD

oh lol wait they’re trying to break out, these Klingons are even unbelievable as warriors, on top of everything else, they got beaten up way too easily

lol Lorca leaving Mudd to Klingon prison - he’s an asshole and that is NOT Starfleet Captain behaviour (but then nothing Lorca does is)

don’t leave him behind Lorca! you won’t be back for him!

WHAT EVEN IS THIS SHOW

NOOOOOOO Lorca this is your fault! don’t let the only likeable Starfleet officer be murdered by the Klingon who’s been assaulting him!

oh it’s okay though cause he found the docking bay in like 30 seconds and came back for him - good thing the ship was tiny apparently

what even are these Klingon fighter ships? they’re little fans! they look fucking stupid

Saru worked out Lorca was being chased, just in time for a dramatic beam out

“we are able to jump commander” in the shiftiest voice, guarantee they did the experiment on Burnham

ohhhh lol nope, Stamets did it to himself

at least he had morals!

oh the dramatic wake up scene

AHAHAHA his laughter is the best

at least he can finally talk to mushrooms or whatever?

oh good, Saru has come to talk to Michael

wow, I’m so amazed at this dialogue, the way everyone just explicitly lays out their feelings and motivations. how realistic.

it just rings so fucking false, like there is NOTHING genuine behind it, any of it

Michael giving Saru Georgiou’s telescope

finally a Starfleet order - save the Tardigrade’s life! 

sooo they don’t know if it’s safe to let it go but they’re just gonna chuck the spores in and send it off????? ummmmmm 

really?

REALLY? 

oh good, it woke up in space and zapped away.

hey we’re finally seeing Stamets and Culber as a couple ... brushing their teeth

“you were in danger” awwww <3

also he’s like, tapped into the fungi network now, dream come true

“I also knew you’d leave me if I let anything else endanger that creature”

what they didn’t even get to kiss in their lovey dovey scene

UMMMMMM creepy mirror Stamets, that’s a bit of a worry

well.

episode done.

I really want to like this show for what it is. Really, I do. 

We had the moral drama of the Tardigrade, but how am I supposed to like Saru when he literally throws his morals completely out the window??? “I was just following orders” is never a reason to harm another being and really, the show brushed over the whole ethical issue completely by just having the characters make individual choices to serve the plot, rather than actually discuss the issue like they would in any other Star Trek series

and Lorca’s entire backstory just makes him even more shady and immoral ffs

and I am just really really not on board with how the characters do complete 180s for the sake of the plot and drama - Saru doesn’t trust Michael, but then he does, flip. flop. flip. flop.

and oh boy am I really, really, really not on board for ‘characters explain their motivations and feelings in a paragraph of exposition’ with 0 emotion behind any of it. it makes it feel so contrived.

I still just don’t feel like I care about any of the characters at all, none of them feel the smallest bit real, there’s something so unnatural and unrealistic about their dialogue and their actions. I think the only reason I found the episode slightly more bearable than others is because they finally had enough plot to keep things moving along without me getting bored.

also, the weirdest part is how small the show feels. the Discovery feels empty, the starbase scene we didn’t know or care about any of the other Admirals, even the Klingon prison ship didn’t feel like it had anything other than that one cell (and corridor, and torture chamber) - they’re so tightly focused on the few characters we know that it just feels like everyone else is cardboard cutouts in the background. it doesn’t FEEL like there’s a war going on. all this money on set design and special effects and whatever and the show somehow feels tiny?

[tessatechaitea]

Teen Titans Spotlight #12: Wonder Girl

All Donna has to do is pretend that her grip slip and she's done with this jerk!

Like I'm going to believe Terry Long has any friends!

Look how excited Terry is to show Donna proof that he has a friend! What a sad sack of potatoes! He's worse than Ross from Friends! Donna reads the letter and is all, "This sure looks like your handwriting, Terry." And Terry is all, "As Icki Mudd, I had to learn to write like Captain Midnight! For secret missions!" Donna fingers her lasso of truth while I get distracted from writing this dialogue because I used the verb fingered so here's there actual conversation which is practically the one I was going to write anyway.

Shit is going down!

This is really good Terry Long fan-fiction. Everybody reading comic books forever has always known that Terry Long is a piece of shit. But he's almost constantly written by Marv Wolfman, the one guy who thinks Terry Long is a fucking catch (if I don't say this in a parenthetical reference, somebody else will say it in the comments so "because Terry Long is totally Marv Wolfman"). Moench even makes a point of having Terry Long mention the book he's never going to finish because he keeps expecting Donna to help him with her knowledge of the ancient characters gained through personal relationships. I believe he even loses his professorship due to never finishing the book. And this is why! Because he was just using the idea of it as an excuse to go get drunk with an old friend and maybe jerk each other off like old times.

Arguments Over Breakfast Starring Donna and Terry. I could read an entire series of just this. It's delicious.

Donna walks over to Titans Tower to smash things in the Smash Things Simulator while thinking, "If this man I thought was a sensitive feminist is actually a fucking loser boy in a squishy man's body, what if all men are just as terrible?!" If Donna were a video game character, she would level up five times from this realization. Everybody is selfish but somehow men manage to be even more selfish than women. It's a pretty good feat and I don't know how they accomplish it. Being raised under the Patriarchy, I guess? "But not all men," think the men who are only thinking about themselves and how not selfish they are. The problem is that Terry and Donna can spend a week fucking any time! But when is Terry going to get to fuck his old friend from childhood?! Practically never, that's when! How can Donna blame him for not wanting to miss this opportunity? Would she expect Terry to understand if she had to interrupt a blow job to go save the multiverse?! I don't know if the comparisons track logically but I don't have time to consider my words. Let's move on! While Donna is away, Terry rushes off to El Salvador. I don't know how long Donna is working out her frustrations before she gets back home but it seems to already be too late. Somehow in that time, he's phoned a travel agent, purchased tickets, hailed a cab, got to the airport, waltzed through 1987 security, waited for the flight, boarded, waited on the tarmac due to engine trouble, had to deplane, boarded a new plane, and took off to El Salvador! Donna did have to spend a little time realizing there was a secret Captain Midnight message encoded in the letter that said, "Hey! Fuck up! Stop thinking about jerking me off, you gay! I've been kidnapped by drug lords! Send the Justice League!" but since she thinks, "Bingo! On the first try," after decoding it, I think she could have caught up with Terry at the airport. Don't cancel me over the "you gay" bit in the message from Terry's friend. Remember that they were best friends and this is 1987. We're lucky the entire letter wasn't homosexual references! Once Terry gets to El Salvador, he finds out that his friend, Dennis Heiman, hasn't been in his hotel for a week. So being the great explorer he totally knows he is, Terry marches off into the jungle to find his friend.

"Sure, it's almost certainly a path created by a dangerous creature or armed drug lords but on the super off-chance it is Denny's path, won't he be fucking surprised!"

Terry Long gets caught by some drug lords and now Donna has to save him. Oh man is she going to have some great ammunition for their next fight over breakfast!

Wait. Do they have a running argument about which one of them is most like Tarzan? I just learned more than I wanted about their sex life.

Terry runs for his life while Donna deflects bullets. She doesn't strategically let one that will hit him in the ass get by because she's a better spouse than I would be. But Terry still pays for his matrimonial crimes when he falls in a pit. The good guys with guns who are only running drugs and making their community a dangerous hellhole because they live in poverty run away when they realize that their guns aren't killing Wonder Girl like they're supposed to. What good is a gun if it can't kill the person who should keep minding their own business instead of ruining your livelihood?! Stupid assault rifles! Now that all the people who love guns more than anything aren't reading this because I used the term "assault rifle," it's time for cupcakes! I wish I could pass out cupcakes online. Nothing would bring me more joy than denying people I don't agree with cupcakes. Oh, except maybe the cupcake! Donna follows Terry down the hole and thinks, "Why is this pit here? Oh, I bet it was a secret passageway Mayan priests used to reach the temples and make their 'magical' appearances." So she already knows more about Mayans than Terry does. She realized Terry isn't going to be able to finish the book no matter what the subject is so she's already begun research on the new project he just proposed over that morning's breakfast. But what she finds at the other end of the tunnel is disturbing (but for Marv Wolfman only).

Is this what people online call "fan service"?

I just tore out the last eight pages of the comic book. Does that make the death of Terry Long canon? Teen Titans Spotlight #12: Wonder Girl: A+! I can't believe it! The death of Terry Long! What a bold move to place in an ancillary Teen Titans series! This issue must be worth five figures! Mostly because I have the only copy. It really does read better if you stop at page fourteen. Because who wants to read page fifteen where Terry has to explain to Donna why he hid in the Mayan Beheaded Magic Trick Box? I mean Illusion Box. I bet he was thinking, "Just wait until Donna sees me dead! Then she'll be sorry for getting upset with my misogyny over breakfast! That'll show her! Man, I'm really hard right now!"

Notice how Donna destroys the guns after saying, "Murderers." Checkmate people who say guns don't kill people, people kill people.

Donna might also have killed the guys holding the guns. It's hard to tell because the coloring of the dimly lit cave might just be obscuring the blood and brains that are almost certainly leaking from their bodies. Maybe Batman couldn't kill Joker even after Joker killed Robin but Donna's no Batman. Of course, Terry Long is no Robin (even a Jason Todd Robin). So is he worth Donna killing for? It's a philosophical conundrum that most people will conclude "no" is the proper answer almost immediately. So I might have used the word "conundrum" too rashly. Terry accidentally became trapped in the Mayan Illusion so I guess Donna can't be too angry at him.

Okay, now she can be mad at him.

It looks like Donna's flashing Terry in the above image and he totally frightened by what he's seeing. It is now canon that Wonder Girl's lady parts have blistered tentacles and maybe a small beak. I don't understand Terry's line about girls wearing girdles. Is it a feminist saying? Maybe he just made it up in his terror at seeing her squawking nether regions? The drama isn't finished even though I finished my review a few paragraphs ago. When it becomes so intense that Terry and Donna believe their lives might actually be in danger, the story gets really fucking disgusting.

Oh god. I did not need the image of Terry's boner rubbing against Donna's thighs as he smears his filthy facial hair all over her iron face.

I was being less disgusting than the actual panel by suggesting he was just rubbing his cock against her through their clothing. Upon rereading those narration boxes, I think they actually just fucked. "No time for tenderness" has to be code for a quickie, right? I think the next page is proof of that theory:

Terry puts his dick away as Donna thanks him for the "we almost died" sex. Of special note: Terry thinks you can start a campfire with a condom.

Donna kills a bunch of drug lords in a fiery explosion but she says "They probably all got knocked out by the shockwave!" to assuage her guilty conscience. She's definitely read Batman's best selling book, One Thousand Ways to Convince Yourself and Others That You've Never Killed Anybody. While a lot of the reasons are "If doctors didn't stop the internal bleeding in time, maybe the violent thug should have purchased better insurance that allowed for a better hospital with a more competent staff" and "Dying of complications from losing a spleen to a batarang are completely the fault of the person who didn't take the proper care for a person who is living without a spleen," quite a few of the reasons boil down to "Did you see anybody dead that couldn't have more probably been unconscious when you left the scene? Because I sure didn't and I have bat eyes!" Batman then had to release a follow-up novel due to the reaction of his book on Twitter. He called it, Contrary to Popular and Stupid Opinions, Bats Actually Have Great Eyesight. Anyway, they save Terry's best friend who isn't imaginary at all.

While hanging out with Terry, Donna often entertains herself by thinking stupid jokes.

Teen Titans Spotlight #12: Wonder Girl Rating: F! Terry didn't die after all! Poop!

[mtwy]

Island 

USA October 1983

Her father named her. But that was her mother’s name as well. Madonna. She’s top of the charts now with her hit songs: Holiday, Burning Up, Everybody, Physical Attraction. Pop tunes with a disco/soul feel and many are surprised to learn she’s not black but a green-eyed white blond fireplug with a teen London/Bronx look. Actually she’s from the Detroit area, smelly Bay City. When she turned seventeen she moved to New York because her father wouldn’t let her date boys. He wanted her to stay a virgin until marriage. In New York she had a date with a guy, several dates. She danced with professional dance groups such as Alvin Ailey. She started a band and played the underground scene for a year..Max’s, Mudd Club, etc. A demo tape, a record contract with Warner/Sire and now she’s the newest addition to stardom from the New York downtown scene with airplay every ten minutes. She’s all for fun. She’s into cheese-flavored popcorn. Her music is a refined archeology of all that is positive about American innocence. It’s not stupid stuff. What emerges is a sincere naive voice with a sensual appeal for cloud nine, better simpler days. In crayon it would read: boy, girl, sun, blue sky, clean water, green tree, buildings, fast car, magic love potion. She’s a Catholic school girl and still has the same pent up desire. In her video of Burning Up she crawls lustfully on the grass of a suburban public park singing, “I’m burning up, burning up for your love,” while we cut to her young lover speeding toward her on the highway. The episode ends in romantic death rather than sexual encounter, a more fitting conclusion since Madonna’s desirous frenzy could scarcely be fulfilled within the pop visual medium in a simply sexual manner. Death is cleaner too. Madonna is, in some sense, still a virgin. She is charged with innocence. She is uninitiated because she is over-initiated. Her cup runneth over. Who could defuse her? And so she remains potent and unplucked, forever about to be…

Interviewer: Madonna. Madonna: What? Interviewer: let’s go deep into your personal life, Madonna: No way. Interviewer: Come on. What do you like? Start with fashion. You’re a girl. You always wear all these great clothes on stage. Madonna: No I don’t. Interviewer: Everybody has the Madonna look now. Madonna: I know. Crotchless jeans, (laughter). Most of the clothes I wear look the way they do because they’re so worn out. Interviewer: Where’s that stage style from? Madonna: It’s psedo-Puerto Rican punk rock freak out. A Motorcycle baby. It’s a combination of my two oldest fantasies. One was to be Nancy Sinatra; the other was to be a nun. Interviewer: Do you ever do that song “These boots are made for walkin'”? Madonna: I used to do it in front of the mirror in my uniform skirt. Interviewer: You went to Catholic school ? Madonna: Uh-huh. The Sacred Heart Academy. Interviewer: What do you want to achieve now? Madonna: Stardom. Interviewer: Make lots of records, or make lots of money? Madonna: I want to make a lot of love. (whistle in the background) I don’t think about money.It just gets there. Up until a year ago I was still broke and living on the street. But I still feel the same way. Money will never be a problem for me. If you worry about it, it’s a problem. Interviewer: Did you draw when you were a kid? Madonna: Phallic symbols. You know Catholics. I used to draw people naked all the time in my art class and my nun teachers used to tell me I had to put clothes on them. So I just drew lines around their bodies. See-through clothes. Interviewer: Had you ever seen a naked body at that time? Madonna: No. I never saw naked bodies. I never saw my parents naked. Gosh, when I was seventeen I hadn’t seen a penis. Interviewer: So were you shocked when you saw the first one? Madonna: Yeah. I thought it was really gross, (laughter). And I’m not saying anymore. Interviewer: Did you ever fall in love? Madonna: I’m always fallin in love. But I get in trouble because I think it’s love then I realize it’s not, but the other person is in love and then I have this problem til I think it’s love again and have the courage to get out of the last one. Interviewer: Your songs are very fantasy. Maybe they help people think they’re in love when they’re not. Is that okay? Madonna: Yeah. Fantasies are essential. Without fantasies I would have died of starvation. Interviewer: In New York it’s difficult to be polite sometimes. Do you think being polite is a virtue? Or is it something you don’t have to think about? Madonna: I think it’s a virtue. I’m sincere to people who are sincere. Interviewer: What about people like the president of Warner Brothers Records? Madonna: I’m just charming. Interviewer: That makes sense. Your new manager is also Michael Jackson’s manager. And you’re planning you first tour with a band? Madonna: Yeah I’m madly in love with my manager. And you can print that. I’m rehearsing now with singers and dancers, and I’ll have two guitarists, and two synthesizers, the drums and bass will be pre-recorded. We’re doing an American tour, and European track dates. Not til the beginning of the year. Interviewer: You were talking before about reincarnation. What were your past lives like? Madonna: I don’t really…I only have images and reelings, no specific chronological events or anything like that. I do feel really transient in a way. I feel like when I meet people I can absorb their character and be them. And I find that no matter what I’m doing I’m always doing the same thing. Basically. What ever it looks like on the outside. And it just makes me feel..I don’t know…I can’t really describe it verbally because no one’s ever asked me this before, no one really cares. Haha! People just want to hear me sing. Interviewer: How come you do soul music…”soul pop”? Madonna: Because I have soul. Because you can dance to it. Cause you can, you know. I grew up in an all black neighborhood and I wanted to be a black girl. I really did. There was something about me that was so much free-er than the white kids I knew and they didn’t go to the Catholic schools I went to. They went to other schools and they wore short dresses and they didn’t have to take baths all the time and their knees were always dirty…I liked the fact that they could braid their hair and it would be sticking up…that’s not why I’m braiding my hair right now…First of all, all the black girls in my neighborhood had these dances in their yard where they had these little turntables with 45 records and they’d play all this Motown stuff and they would dance, just dance, all of them dancing together and none of the white kids I knew would ever do that. They were really boring and stiff. And I wanted to be part of the dancing. I didn’t like my friends. I had to be beaten up so many times by these little black girls before they would accept me and finally one day they whipped me with a rubber hose till I was like, lying on the ground crying. And then they just stopped doing it all of a sudden and let me be their friend, part of their group.