#as much as i say eiffel would be an insufferable player. and he would. i still find his brand of insufferability endearing

[commsroom]

do you have headcanon dnd classes for the other wolf 359 chars?

YES, i absolutely do. sticking with what they'd be (in the archetypal sense) rather than what they'd play:

other than bard eiffel, my strongest opinion is that minkowski is a paladin. she just has the right values and the setup for a sort of crisis of faith and reclaiming/restructuring of power really works for me.

ranger for lovelace, maybe? i think it could fit her brand of resourcefulness, and the way she's sort of had to become... adaptable and acclimatized to her environment more than the others have.

in one of the AMAs, sarah shachat suggested druid for hera and i really latched onto that because i'm fascinated by the implications, but again, as more of an archetype... i think maybe sorcerer. i really like the idea of hera with storm/lightning magic, especially with the association in wolf's sound design of storms and memory.

i guess hilbert is a cleric, since it's like. the common stand in for medical professions and despite everything that research is kind of what defines him. whether that actually makes him a healer is dubious.

jacobi is a rogue, maxwell is an artificer, kepler is a fighter.

[commsroom]

Some silly eiffel questions that idk if you’ve talked about before but:

- would he play dnd? (I think yeah lol but I’m curious what you think) and if so what class would he play as?

- his favorite flavor of slushy

- how does he cook marshmallows? (Burn them, carefully toast them, eat them out of the bag, etc?)

- if he could choose to be a fantasy creature, which one would he choose?

Anyways I hope you feel better and that these distract you from the icky feelings!

have you seen the doug eiffel dnd script? i love to show people the doug eiffel dnd script. it was written a couple of years ago as part of the fundraising for unseen, and is obviously non-canon, however. it's non-canon in the sense that this group of people in these circumstances would never play dnd. i think the anecdotes + attitudes expressed by eiffel are perfectly on brand and they are canon to me. so... how he feels about dnd, and at least one answer to 'what class would he play' is in there. it's very funny to me that he's a minmaxer, and that his character is trained in "bazooka karate" like... sigh... yeah. of course. i don't think his tastes have changed that much since he was a teenager. (he would be a bard though, obviously, if that was the question.) i also think eiffel would be just insufferable to play dnd with because, like. if he's a player, he's going to be mad that he can't tell the story he wants to. if he's the DM, he's going to do zero planning and go on wild tangents having conversations between NPCs and forget he's not just supposed to be telling a story to himself. lost in his own world.

blue raspberry. he loves sugary artificial garbage that doesn't resemble any real world flavor, and blue raspberry is like, the 90's flavor. so many of his preferences are just nostalgia. he would also be really obnoxious about showing people how it dyed his tongue. (i don't think he's too picky about his sugary garbage, though.)

well. you already know he's not doing it carefully. even if he tried to do it carefully, he would still burn them, but i think he prefers them kinda burnt anyway. he would make fun of someone (minkowski) for how meticulously she toasts marshmallows. and he does also get impatient and shovel handfuls of them into his mouth directly out of the bag in-between the ones he immolates. eiffel is the kind of guy who would show off by proving how many marshmallows he can put in his mouth. i guarantee that guy has nearly choked trying to defend his honor as the reigning chubby bunny champion.

actually given the choice, i think he's perfectly happy to be human (and wouldn't trust an offer like that anyway) ... as an icebreaker question, though? he immediately gives a basic, 'cool' answer like werewolf, and then his brain catches up to his mouth and he goes wait, hold on, can i take that back? because all of the potential downsides just occurred to him, and he starts jumping around with his answer and getting more and more specific until it derails the whole conversation and he's just asking, like, if there would be a catch and what powers he's allowed to have, etc. and whoever asked is like, um... whatever you want, i guess? (<- regretting it.) the person after him says they'd be a dragon and he's like, ugh. no fair. i should've been a dragon.