#ashter rambles

[dragonsfromthemoon]

ON ASOIAF, AGE GAP AND RHAELYA

This is a topic discussed over and over on fandom spaces. Often it is brought up by antis as a “gotcha!” against the fans of certain fictional couples — and on this meta, my focus is mostly on Rhaegar and Lyanna, though some arguments can be used for other ships as well.

That said, we have two ways of looking into this subject in the context of A Song of Ice and Fire.

Parting from a doylist analysis, we could rightfully criticize George R. R. Martin for his approach to age and relationships, especially regarding his female characters. In Rhaegar and Lyanna's case, we could object him putting an underage girl in a relationship with a married man about eight years her senior. If I were the one writing this story, I would have aged Lyanna up; there is no narrative/worldbuilding/plot reason for not doing that. Alas, I am not George R. R. Martin, the story does not belong to me.

The gist here, however, is reprobating the author's conscious choices, nor the characters themselves or their relationship. Rhaegar and Lyanna cannot make decisions or be held accountable in the real world, as they are only fragments of George R. R. Martin's imagination and words on a blank paper. The same is valid for any other relationship featured on Planetos.

Nevertheless, a doylist analysis is bound to face some questions and run into some issues as well. The first being, who is the one raising the objections? The answer is crucial, because the objector parts from their own vision of the world — which is dictated by one's upbringing, moral and culture. Needless to say, all of these things vary from person to person. Different fans will approach the matter of age gaps differently, based on their own opinions and experiences. The second one is, who gets to judge what is right or wrong? And this is followed by the question: what is the the acceptable age gap — 10 years? 5 years? 2 years? 1 year? Months? We would debate over it endlessly, because there is really no right answer, and everyone would apply their own biases to the issue. Thirdly, why did the objector decide to engage with a material that features such age gaps in the first place? We have the power over what we read and watch, over the fandoms we join; as well as the power of not engaging with triggering content for us anymore. Sanitizing fiction is not the way to go, because it brings more harm than good in the form of persecution and harassment of content creators and censorship (again, who gets to decide what must be censored and why?)

There are two more intertwined factors to take into account when discussing a doylist perspective: George R. R. Martin's historical inspirations and worldbuilding. Though so many times exaggerated and factually wrong, the fact remains that he draws inspiration from the European Middle Age (with focus on England) to build Planetos. And that reflects directly on the issues of age in his work. Childhood, adulthood, marriageable age, age of context are notions that differ drastically from our contemporary ones. We are talking about distincts periods of history, with distinct approaches to social and cultural norms, after all. Here the author himself discusses the issue of ages, if one would be interested to read on the topic.

Which brings me to the watsonian analysis part of this essay. Above all, the in-universe context matters here. And if we hope to understand the characters, their actions and views on relationships in a deep level, we cannot dissociate them from their historical and social in-universe background.

By the time Lyanna met Rhaegar, she was 14 and already engaged to Robert Baratheon. Her fiance Robert, by the way, was also older than her. By all accounts he desired her and claimed to love her, constructed an image of her in his mind. It is safe to speculate she would have been expected to marry Robert not long after Brandon Stark's marriage to Catelyn, if her elopement with Rhaegar and the Rebellion had not happened. My point here is, this was hardly a frowned upon marriage arrangement in A Song of Ice and Fire. Except for Lyanna, that is, as she did not desire Robert nor this marriage. Even so, her issue was not with his age (her distaste for Robert is a whole other discussion).

Well, when Lyanna starts her affair with Rhaegar de facto, she is about 16 (not 14, as antis like to claim; let's get our facts straight). By Westerosi standards, a woman grown, apt to marry and bear children. Rhaegar was about 24. Thus they have a 8 years age gap. This is hardly a remarkable age difference in Westeros, as so many couples have it even bigger. Almost all of romantic entanglements in this story have an element of age imbalance. I will not name these examples; I trust the readers to come up with their own.

My point here is, through watsonian lens, the age gap between Lyanna and Rhaegar is scarcely a problem or something to be particularly condemned. And quite frankly, there are other aspects of their characters and their dynamic that are more relevant to discuss, if we as readers take upon us to analyse them.

[memurfevur-archive]

Catch Up

Character(s): Hadesa Lankro, Expyno Dioxal, Ashter Faurux, Persep Rhiali (@contrastparadoxx ), mention of Carnix (@experimental-failures )

About: Expyno invites Hadesa over to help her confront Ashter about their relationship.

Word Count: 1,899

Google Doc Link

Hadesa's heart rolled like thunder in her ears as she stepped up to the porch on this quiet street. Anxieties ate at her harsher than when she had arranged plans to see Carnix; that had been a new adventure, but this? This was revisiting the past to look for answers. This wasn't new. This was dreadful. Every rapture of her knuckles upon the door echoed in her bones. A deep chill ran down her spine, making her wish she was back home in the warm comforts of her hive.

She didn't plan to say anything more than necessary. She just wanted answers. Why did Ashter leave her without a word, without a trace? Did her curse really scare him off or... was it something else? Had she done something wrong? There was also the fear of losing her cool; she had every right to be angry, she's realized this, but anger is frightening. Anger sabotages. Anger makes her blind, and then the demons strike.

There was a click at the door-- the sound of the lock turning free-- and before her was a familiar face, though prettier than she remembered. The first thing she noticed were his eyes: striking aqua teals beneath long and thick lashes. Freckles dotted his long but curved face, and she was surprised to see some scratchy patches of hair on his chin. Nostalgia ran through her like an electric current, and she wondered briefly if she had changed too since then. “Expyno.”

“Hey Dez,” his voice was light, but carried an edge that she couldn't quite decipher. Like with many other people, she didn't get along too well with him back then. She was one of many who would bully him about his fear of illnesses and germs, about the scars on his chest and the strange conspiracies that he would ramble about. These things felt normal to her, the cruel injustice of her words, and it would cause problems. But if cruelty was her best defense from the whispers of demons in her blood, perhaps he should have thanked her. Or, maybe she should apologize; but such is the nature of a dysfunctional friendship, neither statements would be made. Instead, “Nice tat.” It was close enough to what they both wanted to hear.

He herded her in and she took off her shoes at the door. As per ritual for anyone who entered his home, a squirt of hand sanitizer was waiting for her to lather onto her skin. Then through the entry breeze way, and they were in the living room. A lump formed in her throat as she saw two pairs of horns poking up over the couch; one set belonged to a strange blue Seadweller, and the other … him. The Seadweller had twisted around, a question forming on her lips over who had been at the door, but pleasant curiosity changed the inquiry's course, “Hi! Who's this?”

Hadesa wished she hadn't said anything at all. Maybe if she had not caught the Seadweller's attention she could have still snuck out while she had the chance. But the Seadweller had alerted her friend on the couch, who had also twisted around to see who the new guest was. Though, instead of pleasant curiosity, panic shaped his mouth, “Dez?!”

She hadn't expected to fall silent when she saw him. Like Expyno, he also looked different. He’d long ago ditched the sleeveless turtlenecks and the faux gold chains that he thought made him look cool. His hair was a faux Mohawk, with cleanly shaven sides. His shoulders held more freckles than what she had last counted, and his eyes bore more of a creamy honey color. He almost looked completely different, save for the grooves and nicks in his horns from fights that only she knew about. 

Knowing herself, she would have not been able to stop herself in giving him an ear full, but now that they're here face to face all her spite had caught her tongue. She was grateful for Expyno's intervention, “Long time no see, eh Ash?”

Panic quickly turned to anger as Ashter's gaze bounced between Hadesa and Expyno, “You're behind this, aren't you?”

“Oh, naturally!”

Then, the blue Seadweller on the couch, with a deep pressed frown on her lips, spoke up, “Am I missing something here?”

“No,” Ashter's voice came out more like a growl, and his forceful tone was not missed.

“Well, I would think so,” Expyno shrugged. “Since this would eventually have something to do with Persep, too.”

“...What would have something to do with me?”

“Nothing, Perse.”

“Ashter, who is she?”

“His moirail,” Hadesa finally spoke up, though her voice cracked. It was the look that the Seadweller gave Ashter that made Hadesa realize she was his new moirail; the look of surprise, hurt, and curiosity. A bitterness rose in her throat, but Hadesa knew it wasn't Persep's fault. She hung her head, “Was, his moirail.”

“Then, why does this matter?” Persep looked between the three of them. “What's happening?”

“What's happening is my right to have answers,” Hadesa was slowly finding her footing, “Ash you just up and left one day! You didn't give me a word, you didn't give any warning. You've been gone for so long I thought you were dead! But instead you're here with someone new. I don't give a fuck about how many other moirails you might have, but I just... I... I came here to know why.”

“I don't owe anyone anything,” Ashter said, “The past is the past and I'd rather leave it behind.”

Hadesa looked on, horrified, “But what did I do?!”

“It doesn't matter!” Ashter's skin began to warm and he clutched his hair in his hands. He sunk back down on the couch.

“It matters,” Expyno sighed, “It matters to the people who love or loved you. You've left me behind several times. You've left Devar'n behind. Hadesa. And you know, I get having a private life but you're hurting yourself and everyone around you when you don't talk. And I'm not going to go through it again, not with Persep.”

“I'll leave you alone,” Hadesa added, “If you can just tell me why...”

Ashter glowered, and for a small stretch of time, he was silent. Then, with a sigh of defeat, “...Because when you fuck up the lemonade you make out of the lemons life gives ya, you make a new batch.”

“But--”

“You were just... a bruised lemon.”

The silence in the room was palpable. Thick. Heavy. Hadesa and Ashter mirrored each other; arms crossed, tears glistening in their eyes. Expyno ran a hand through his hair and looked away, blowing out a breath with wide eyes. Persep looked between Ashter and Hadesa, eyes wide with bewilderment and concern, but otherwise she, too, fell silent.

“Dez,” Ashter sighed, “I'm sorry—”

“No,” Hadesa shook her head, “No no. I'm. Yeah. I'm the bruised lemon, huh? I was a bad lemon. I…I wasn't good for your lemonade. Wasn't good for you. Wasn't healthy.”

“Dez--”

“Everyone's a bruised lemon,” her tone grew more sour, angrier. “You... You have a history of fucking up your lemonades, don't you? What about her?” She pointed to Persep, “What will you do when she spoils? Betray her, too? Look I... fine maybe I wasn't the best moirail but…but you can't do that to everyone!”

“I'm done here.” Ashter pushed himself off the couch fully and made his way to the door.

“Ashter!” Persep was quick to hop to her feet to follow, but as she passed she gave a brief glance to Hadesa. To the Yellowblood's surprise, it wasn't full of anger and hatred, but of pity and concern. Such a sad look to such beautiful eyes, and Hadesa had to bite her tongue out of jealousy. This wasn't Persep's fault, but the urge to blame her was there.

“You're lucky to have him,” Dez muttered, “Or at least I hope you are.”

—---------------

Ashter stood in the doorway of his bedroom back in his shared apartment. He had to think of what to do. This wasn't a life threatening situation, but if there were problems that were too suffocating because of him, well... his suitcase was in the closet. For now he stumbled to his bed and sat on the edge of it. He was tempted to have a good cry, the first he'd had since a very long time ago, but he bit his cheek to hold it back as he heard someone approaching down the hallway.

“Ash?” 

It was Persep. When he didn't say anything she ventured into the room and joined him on the bed. It was dark, with only the light from the hallway illuminating them both. They sat in awkward silence for a heartbeat or two, then Persep shifted to lean her body against him. Ashter visibly relaxed.

“I'm sorry, P.”

“It's okay.” She lifted her head to look at him. Her fins began to cast a subtle glow, enough to where he could see the more finer details of her face. “Is it true? That you leave your quadrants like that?”

Ashter sighed and took Persep's hands in his. “Yeah. Yeah it is.” When she fell silent he added, “But I don't do it without second thought. There's... there's reasons. Like if it's too dangerous, or if I'm... if I'm the source of trouble in their life, and I have no other way to fix it. I'd rather start fresh than to be trapped in something I can't solve.”

“Was Dez someone you couldn't solve?”

“Kind of? I mean... I did love her. Genuinely. But there…was always the trunk-beast in the room that was her curse-- long story-- and how she would react to it, and treat it and people around her. It was... like she wanted to steal everyone's attention while also pushing them away, giving so many mixed messages. It felt like she didn't care what I had to say as long as she got to say her stuff first. I didn't feel comfortable living around her, so I left.” 

He looked away for a moment. Breathe in, breathe out. It's fine. Everything's fine. “There's other things, too. Things I've done that have consequences. Hell, even existing is dangerous because of my name. I feel like my entire life is me dancing on eggshells until I'm booed off the bloody stage. Part of leaving was also to protect her. In fact, most...most people I've left, I've done it to protect them. I'm a source of trouble. And... and for some reason when I try to make a new life, it never lasts. It just follows me. I am a hole I can't dig out of, heh.”

“What you said back there to her... that was terrible.”

“I regret it, but I didn't know how else to say it.”

“It's okay to want to start over, you know. I don't blame you if things get so bad you want to leave.”

“Yeah well, I don't want to leave you.”

“Well, good! Because I never said I wasn't coming with.” Ashter looked at her with wide eyes, then a small smile danced on his thin lips. Persep squeezed his hand, “But promise me…you'll tell me if things are bad, okay?”

“I will...I'll try.”

And yet his thoughts drifted to the suitcase in the closet, his ole reliable friend.

[deepwoodtrolls]

Hell Hell Hell

This is the third time I've had to type this up uwu

ANyway, recap: My computer almost crashed with many tabs I have open, this is in no order, and it took me forever to narrow down the list to ones I have a Connection with. If you aren't on here!!! We are still very likely friends, you just don't have a select or I'm dumb<3

@just-more-trolls Bawxie has always held a special, cringe(affectionate) place in my heart<3

@roetrolls Most of this list is characters I connect to on a deep level for a very long time, like Franky. I'm so happy that Benjin and Veylin get to join him<3

@whispertrolls Such a hard choice... Lu and Rocco, duh. For like, obvs reasons<3

@memurfevur Look I tried to limit myself to 1 troll each. EACH. Anyway Ashter, Rutaci, and Hylian have very different reasons for being in my heart and we don't have time for several pages of me rambling saughgkhsg<3

@ask-the-troll-boys When I first followed you all those years ago, I've been constantly captivated by your characters, but there is a clear winner(s). Zegrao has always been very close to my heart, and Meta, of course, oh but Bax?? Wait but I can't forget Zilika.. And what about- Gold is interceding. This would go on for so long no thanks. <3

@palztrolls You don't have a select but I KNOW there's several there. I think. My memory sucks skadhgk<3

@iolitewyvern-trolls Oh my god where do I begin, uh, Chkepi because <3 that's gay, Al because duh, Rembet, because you can't have one part of the polycule of confusion without the other part sdlakjgha

@sasster I have a very distinct memory of laying on the floor of my room several years ago going, "Wow!! I really like this one!" And then proceeded to forget them sdgaaslgj<3

@pixies-oc-carnival Scarecrow, because <3 and I know there's more, I'm so sorry sdalkguapsihga

@sunnetrolls Ark has always been there in the back of my mind. No idea why dasglha and then ofc there's Kitty and Radiix, who I've always been super interested in adlkgh<3

@homicidalfantrolls So many great choices, but Cimmyk was chill with Cilv that one time and I think about that sometimes

@clown-fuckers-r-us i only found him recently but I love Montague sdlhgaskhDSK<3

@stuckstucktrolls Yeah, it's 8-Ball eyes for me. Iconic, and one of the first things Homestuck I ever saw<3

[dragonsfromthemoon]

3 am thoughts: what... what if Drogon lays a clutch of eggs?!

[dragonsfromthemoon]

Before anyone says it was stupid of Rhaegar to try currying the favor of the lords by crowning Lyanna, it is worth to mention that Westeros has a society that holds knightly values in high regard. Such values include bravery, strength, skill and courtesy. He accomplished that by winning; and by honoring Lyanna for her display as the Knight of the Laughing Tree.

cof He was hardly the first man to ever crown a woman that was not not his wife/betrothed cof

In contrast to Aerys II's inaptitude and weakness in front of kingdom, Rhaegar proved his prowess. That the lords could see in him a just and capable heir/king.

Admitteddly, the Starks did not receive it very well. They took it as a slight against Lyanna's honor, but that was because she was betrothed to Robert. Who, curiously, begrudgingly said Rhaegar was paying her due.

[dragonsfromthemoon]

Disclaimer 1: This is a book (Fire & Blood) discussion only. I am not taking into account House of the Dragon and its portrayal of Daemon. Disclaimer 2: Do not accuse me of trying to whitewash Daemon’s actions or whatever nonsense antis might come up with. My goal here will be to have a nuanced discussion about his character and his mindset, considering his in-universe context and reality. Disclaimer 3: This is a follow up of Disclaimer 2. Do not screech about Blood and Cheese, your reblog/comment will be deleted and you will be promptly blocked. Why? Am I a tyrant, after all? No, I just do not wish to engage with people incapable of having a nuanced approach to a character. And here I do not really want to discuss B&C; it is not the objective of the post.

That being said, there has been something on my mind. Everyone can agree Daemon was an ambitious man. He is not different from princes and lords that came before and after him in that regard; it would be unwise and illiterate of me to think otherwise. To sum it up, Daemon did wish to amass power and wealth. However, I feel obligated to question his supposed lust for the Iron Throne. Both in-universe sources and fans take that for granted. After all, would it be realistic he even entertain the idea of one day being the king? First. He was a second son. That alone would put him behind any of Viserys I’s heirs. Second. Viserys I was a young and jovial man. As he had had Rhaenyra, no one could argue Aemma and he could not conceive. It was natural to believe he would have a heir sooner or later. Third. When Aemma died, Viserys I was only 28. Sooner or later, he, as the king, would be pressured into another marriage for political gains and heirs. Well, that did happen when he married Alicent (though she was his bride of choice). And they proved to be a fertile couple.

Unless Daemon 1) planned to get rid of his nephews or 2) was extremely delusional, to the point of not believing Viserys I would have a heir of his own; I cannot take as granted he lusted for the Iron Throne. It would be nonsensical of him, quite out of touch with his reality. By the way, 1) is highly unlikely. Kinslaying and kingslaying are the greatest Westerosi taboos. In normal circumstances, he already had his political rivals, such as Otto Hightower. I do not believe a kinslayer would have gathered much support to be the Prince of Dragonstone and the next king. B&C happened under a specific context of war, so I do not take it as a measure of how far Daemon would be willing to go under normal circumstances.

Here I am making questions, but there is not a right answer. You could very well claim Daemon luster after the Iron Throne and I would have to accept it, for we do not have his POV to dissect and discuss in depth; we only have third-party accounts of his character. I am merely approaching a new perspective on the subject.

[dragonsfromthemoon]

I have seen someone ranting about my Elia meta on their blog (this meta of mine here). All fair, they have that right.

While I will not address the person directly (they did not even bother to address me directly in the first place), I would like to address one thing, though: I am not making Elia a “Rhaegar cheerleader”. On that specific meta, I merely adressed a narrative standpoint. What is the actual role and purpose of this tertiary character within A Song of Ice and Fire. My entire point was missed. Supposed Elia stans make it all to be about Rhaegar and Lyanna, but that's not the case. I talked about what unfortunately happened to her offers a perspective on the Rebellion; I even addressed her familial relationships and how they are important for the Dornish plotline and its characters. How is that not nuanced?

I am not even an Elia stan, but I talked objectively about her character outside of Rhaegar and Lyanna's dynamic, and that's way more than any of her supposed stans that hate Rhaegar and rhaelya do.

And no, I did not make it all about Robert. Please.

When I do talk about Elia in reference to Rhaegar and Lyanna, most of the time it is pure speculation. And because I was asked about it as well. Even I admit that. But I make an effort take Elia into context (a political marriage; borne out of duty, not love, but in which the spouses were fond friends of each other), with the little information that we have, and not make an eternal victim out of her. How evil of me to even headcanon that she could have befriended Lyanna, outside of their relationship with Rhaegar! No, you see, the only way to see her character is if she is constantly miserable — nevermind her brutal death on canon. Everything else is wrong.

This is mostly a rant, so I am not going to tag it. I do not want to start a tiring discourse as well.

I reiterate: my point on that meta is Elia's story goes beyond Rhaegar's. It goes beyond his relationship with Lyanna.

Be for real. GRRM did even bother to give us Elia's perspective (canon, not headcanon and speculation) on Rhaegar and Lyanna because it overall doesn't matter for her role on the story.

[dragonsfromthemoon]

I can have all the patience in the world to read a fanfic, a poem, the chapter of a book, essays and articles... yet I find myself more and more impacient to sit still through videos, movies and series. Maybe that has to do with the long period of virtual classes 😓

[dragonsfromthemoon]

Fictional couples who maturely work out their issues are so sexy.

[dragonsfromthemoon]

I know I should not care what a bunch of misogynistic assholes and idiots think but if and when GRRM finishes his books and he gives Dany a good well written ending where she is the hero that we know that she actually is and completely shuts down those stupid “Mad Queen” statements these idiots make (like that she was always going to go that way)… I am going to feel so much satisfaction knowing that we were right. Dany is a hero. Pure and simple. They are just misogynistic idiots who hate Dany because they wish they or their self insert favorites like Sansa and Alicent could be a fraction as great as she is. It’s ridiculous that everytime I see a comment on Instagram on Dany posts saying how she’s a sociopath or that she was always gonna go mad and we weren’t paying attention. But these idiots draw from the show. Like that bs about Dany shouting in S2 that she will burn cities to the ground… that didn’t happen at all in the books. D&D are so sexist that they were messing up two of the best and most feminist characters since the beginning. But that’s all they have: the show and D&D’s sexist narrative. Sadly that’s the only ending we have now until we know what GRRM’s ending is which is guaranteed to be better. And when that happens, and hopefully Dany lives, we’ll be the ones with the last laugh forever instead of them.

Yup, the books are going to prove us right. Antis can cling to that garbage of a show, for all I care.

Now for peace of mind's sake, I would advise making good use of your block button. No mercy on antis or people that upset you. Even if here or there some of them slip by, it ought to create a more positive fandom environment that you can enjoy.

Worthy to ponder over how asoiaf fandom behaves on different social medias as well. I feel it can be way more draining on Twitter, for example, because of the volume of people there and the nature of the interactions (threads or short tweets). It is easier to come across an anti or upsetting content. I decided to stick with Tumblr when I noticed it would not do to stay on Tumblr.

Not sure how it works on Instagram though, and which social media you are most comfortable with.

Another balm for my soul was to become way more pickier with my mutuals.

[dragonsfromthemoon]

I love Xie Bian so much.

He is a genuinely good and kind person, that self-sacrifices a lot. and a well-layered and complex character.

Xie Bian has his own moral code, one that guides his thoughts and actions in his two lifetimes. Thus, markedly in Zong Ziheng's life, his innermost struggle is between doing what he feels that is right, what he wants to do, and upholding filial piety. This is especially hard for him, especially as he realizes his parents are flawed people, capable even of doing evil things if it means they get to achieve their goals. Things that go against Zong Ziheng/Xie Bian's moral code, against his conduct.

Still in Zong Ziheng's life, he was the eldest prince of the decaying Zong Clan. He also had talent, and his mother expected a lot from him. He had to be a role model, set the example for his younger siblings. He had to work for the power and prestige of the Zong Clan. In truth, all he wanted was a carefree life, traveling and helping the small folk in need. However, until the end, he upheld filial piety, even if everything around him fell apart.

His relationship with Zong Zixiao/Fan Wushe is a rollercoaster of emotions. Both went through a lot together and apart, which shaped their deep and complex entanglement. Misunderstanding, miscommunication, betrayal, lust, reconciliation... all these circumstances and emotions, and many more, built their relationship.

Being the target of greedy people, because of his golden core, Zong Ziheng/Xie Bian faced a lot of betrayal and hurt.

Yet, at the end of the day, Zong Ziheng/Xie Bian remained true to his essence. A good, kind and compassionate person at heart. He does grow with the circumstances though, and learns.

[dragonsfromthemoon]

Jon and Danny's tags are not anymore for and about them. Is all about misunderstanding them in all ways possible, but what I find the most annoying is that some jon fans are extremely anti dany and dany fans still believe the bullshit got narrative. This fandom is so much dumbfuckery and 80% need to go back to school for basic comprehension and reading skills. Thanks God that my asoiaf circle does not lack that at all.

Going through their tags is truly a nightmare if one is looking for positive and accurate book content. It is so damn sad and despairing to see it.

Dany and Jon are two of the main heroes of A Song of Ice and Fire. The chaos on their tags just showcases how illiteracy, headcanons and misinterpretation/twisting of the book canon run rampant in the fandom.

Not to mention the show-based nonsense.

The best we can do to have some fruitful and joyful fandom experience is really having our own circle of friends and mutuals. It makes me so happy to know you could find that, anon!

Thank you so much for the ask! 🥰

[dragonsfromthemoon]

Shen Shi Yao destroying Zong Ziheng's Orchid Garden is one of the most heart-wrenching moments of Wu Chang Jie to me