#asksciencebones

[asksciencebones]

( * There are no skeletons in his closet, only fashion. )

[asksciencebones]

Well, for the first official query, who are the members of The Science Team?

* EXCELLENT QUESTION, MY ANONYMOUS GREY-FACED COOL-GUY FRIEND! * WHY, THE ROYAL LABORATORY IS HOME TO ONLY THE GREATEST OF SCIENTIFIC MINDS IN ALL OF THE UNDERGROUND, AND I WOULD BE POSITIVELY DELIGHTED TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING THAT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, KNOW ABOUT THEM!

* THERE ARE 8 MONSTERS ON THE TEAM AS OF CURRENT! * THERE’S DR. FLEDGER, THE MAGIBIOLOGIST-- * -- AH! WAIT! * PERHAPS I SHOULD’VE STARTED WITH THE ROYAL SCIENTIST (WHO! NATURALLY! NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION!) * AND THEN OF COURSE THERE’S THE ROYAL ENGINEER (ME) (NOTE: NOT YET THE ROYAL ENGINEER!) * (NOTE 2: RECENTLY APPRENTICED TO THE SITTING HEAD ENGINEER, MR. C-- )

* (C- CALZONE ???)

[asksciencebones]

WELCOME, UNDERGROUND CITIZEN, TO THE ROYAL LABRADORITORY. PLEASE PRESENT YOUR QUERIES IN AN ORDERLY (AND SCIENTIFIC) FASHION. *

* ( DON’T MIND THE SCORCH MARKS ON THE WALLS.)

[asksciencebones]

it says [0] days since last incident in the bio, what kinda incidents are included?

* SCIENCE-Y ONES, OF COURSE!

* MOSTLY EXPLOSIONS.

* B- BUT N- NOT ALWAYS! * ( SOMETIMES IT'S JUST A COFFEE SPILL. ) * ( ALTHOUGH THAT MIGHT BE WORSE, ACTUALLY. )

[asksciencebones]

Hey Papyrus, what sort of experiments do you do and who usually leads them?

* AHA! YET ANOTHER SPLENDID QUERY!

* AS SCIENTISTS, WE ARE RELIED UPON TO DISCOVER NEW AND EXCITING WAYS TO IMPROVE THE LIVES OF ALL THE MONSTERS IN THE UNDERGROUND!

* NATURALLY, THIS REQUIRES VIGOROUS AMOUNTS OF EXPERIMENTING (USUALLY WITH MAGIC, MACHINERY, MONSTER PHYSIOLOGY, OR ALL OF THE ABOVE IN VARIOUS PUZZLING CONFIGURATIONS.)

* THESE TESTS ARE RUN BY... WHOEVER! OUR RESIDENT EXPERT IS ON THE SORT OF SCIENCE INVOLVED!

* THAT TYPICALLY KEEPS THINGS FROM SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTING. * OR, ER, MOSTLY.

[asksciencebones]

Oh goodness! What exploded?

* AH... ER... W- WELL, YOU SEE--

* WE WERE ONLY RUNNING SOME VERY STANDARD AND BORING AND ENTIERLY UNREMARKABLE TESTS ON THE CORE'S POWER OUTPUT, WHEN THINGS GOT A BIT MORE... EXPLOSION-Y THAN THEY USUALLY DO. * NOW PARTS OF THE LABRODORY IS IN SOMETHING OF A D- DISARRAY.

* B- BUT! FEAR NOT! EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL! * THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO NEED FOR ANYONE TO WORRY! * AT ALL! * ESPECIALLY ME!

[asksciencebones]

Papyrus you look cute.

* . . .

* T- THANK YOU, UNDERNET STRANGER!

[asksciencebones]

Hello Papyrus, how has your day been going so far?

* GREETINGS, UNDERNET STRANGER! * TODAY HAS BEEN... DECIDEDLY! MORE EXCITING! THAN ANTICIPATED! * BUT AS EVER IT IS NOTHING THAT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, CANNOT HANDLE! * . . . * HOW’S YOURS?

[asksciencebones]

(labrodory... omg...) are you the only one handling the explosion mr. papyrus? where is everyone else? it's a good thing no other explosions are happening!

* ( YES, THE RUMBLING DOES APPEAR TO HAVE STOPPED, THANKFULLY. ) * AND NO! NOT AT ALL! * I AM SURE YOU WILL BE RELIEVED TO KNOW THAT EVERYONE IS ON THE CASE! * ( ER, EVERYONE SANS ONE, THAT IS. )

* MS. YELLOW DINOSAUR REQUESTED THAT I COME WITH TO SURVEY THE DAMAGES ON THE UPPER FLOOR. * THE OTHERS SHOULD STILL BE DOWNSTAIRS.

[asksciencebones]

what kinda jokes DO You like, then?

* PERHAPS SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE...

* HUMERUS! * ( NYEH HEH HEH! )

[asksciencebones]

Papyrus, what's your favorite food?

* WHY, ONLY THE GREATEST OF FINE CUISINE FOR THE GREATEST OF ME(S)! THE ANSWER COULD NOT BE SIMPLER AND MORE OBVIOUS!

* IT’S OATMEAL!

* ( WITH THOSE COLOURFUL EGG THINGS! )

[asksciencebones]

yo papyrus why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? because it's pointless. why can't a bicycle stand on its own? because it's 2 tired. what do you call a shoe made out of a banana? a slipper. what happens when a frog's car breaks? it gets toad. what does a skeleton tile his roof with? shin-gles. i'll be back with more hilarious jokes later.

* I’VE CHANGED MY MIND!!!!!!!!

* TODAY IS THE WORST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[asksciencebones]

(scientific voice) what's going on here, papyrus? what're you doing? i like your shirt!

* AHA! I SEE YOU ARE A SKELETON OF IMPECCABLE TASTES AS WELL. * THE GREAT PAPYRUS GRACIOUSLY ACCEPTS YOUR COMPLIMENTS! * AS FOR THE OTHER QUESTION: * I AM THE ROYAL LABORATORY’S JUNIOR ENGINEER! * (THOUGH CURRENTLY I AM RUNNING DAMAGE CONTROL.)

[asksciencebones]

test test test?

[ * YOUR ASSISTANCE IN THIS EXPERIMENT IS APPRECIATED. ]

[ * THE RESULTS HAVE BEEN RECORDED. ]

[ * PLEASE STAND BY. ]

[asksciencebones]

Well why thank you for asking back :> my day has been very hot and humid but I bet that’s something you know all about considering where the lab is xD

* OF COURSE! I AM, AFTER ALL, A SKELETON OF IMPECCABLE MANNERS!

* BUT INDEED, THE INESCAPABLE HEAT OF THE SURROUNDING MAGMA LAKE IS! QUITE FAMILIAR! IF YOU ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING SIMILARLY VOLCANIC WEATHER, REMEMBER:

* STAY HYDRATED! (ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT IF YOU ARE A FISH)! * REMAIN IN THE SHADE! * CHECK ON YOUR FAMILY PETS! * DO NOT TOUCH THE LAVA! (ALSO VERY IMPORTANT FOR FISH!!)

[asksciencebones]

So, why do you want us to send you queries? Is this part of an experiment, or is this just a fun project you're working on? Also, more importantly, how is your day goin? I hope your day is as great as you are!

* WELL, YOU SEE - WE USUALLY USE THIS RECORDER FOR RECORDING.

* ( THE TESTS, THAT IS. )

* HOWEVER! IT WOULD SEEM AMIDST THE CHAOS IT HAS... TURNED ITSELF ON? AND... STARTED STREAMING?????

* NATURALLY, I TOOK IT UPON MYSELF TO GREET YOU, SMALL HORDE OF ODD, GREYFACED OBSERVERS, AND TO ANSWER YOUR MANY QUESTIONS OF NO DOUBT ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL IMPORTANCE.

* ( AS FOR THE LATTERMOST PART: THANK YOU, RANDOM CITIZEN! I SUPPOSE ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, TODAY COULD BE WORSE. TRULY, IT IS A CHALLENGE TO HAVE A BAD DAY WHEN YOU ARE AS GREAT AS I. ) * ( I HOPE YOURS IS GREAT AS WELL. )