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ffxivbabey · 2 years

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Void Revelations

The Fell Court of Troia was… quieter, now. A lot quieter with the majority of the voidsent now dispersed, including the one who had been all but pulsing with power. For some reason, they’d all looked at Veronyka strangely, muttering something about a lot of aether or having consumed a lot. Y’shtola was quick to threaten those foes when they came a little too close, though that was also… confusing.

Even before the group of them had ventured into the void, Y’shtola had given Veronyka a strange look, as though about to say something. She hadn’t managed it, though, for at that moment, Varshahn had appeared in his new adult-looking body.

But the strangeness hadn’t ended there. As the group had worked through the court, dispatching foe after foe, Y’shtola had been strangely attentive in healing Veronyka’s wounds and yanking her out of danger. Which had been wonderful for Veronyka’s stomach, which still hadn’t quite settled since the last time she’d been here. Well, not void here but Thavnair here. When asked, Veronyka had said that maybe it was the aether of Thavnair disagreeing with her for some reason. A side effect of the final days, or something. Never mind that nobody else was affected, nobody else had to run from the Mehayne and apologise profusely to Meryde for not being able to stomach her food. Even spicy Ala Mhigan or Ul’dahn food was a gamble. The mere smell of it was enough to have her stomach twisting. But she had been fine after the initial stomach upset. Until the guardian of the void had spun her and her friends, leaving both her and Y’shtola running off in search of an empty treasure chest. She had used the dizziness as her excuse, then.

Deep down, she knew. She’d been tired, too, but put that down to sleeping off the effects of the Final Days, naturally. Never mind that she’d made a full recovery from that aside from some light sensitivity (which, she would loudly tell anyone who asked and those who didn’t, was a massive pain in the arse when fishing for fish that only appeared during the day). There was no way to know for sure, not with Eorzean technology, though she’d heard rumours that the Garleans may have the technology. Not that she would dare ask Cid, it would feel wrong to ask her father’s ex (no matter how friendly they were) about something that her father should find out first.

And so, when Y’shtola pulled her aside, Veronyka knew, somewhere deep down, what the sorceress was about to say.

“Ere we depart,” said Y’shtola, pitching her voice low, “are you aware that you are with child?”

“Oh right, your aether sight,” Veronyka blurted. Y’shtola gave her a look. “Um. I had a feeling.” Her hand strayed to her stomach, though she quickly glanced around to ensure that they weren’t seen or overheard. “Is that why you were taking extra special care of me?”

“Yes,” said Y’shtola. “I can only hope that you didn’t go into the void willingly in this condition.”

“We have the warding scale and the crystal of light so it’ll be fine, right?” said Veronyka. Y’shtola’s tail flicked behind her, her ears flattened.

“If you are certain,” said Y’shtola. “I will monitor them, and you. Thus far, I have detected no abnormalities. Thus far.”

“Well, I can’t just leave, we just got here,” said Veronyka. Y’shtola raised an eyebrow. “Please don’t tell them.”

“If I were going to tell them, I would have told them already,” said Y’shtola. “Nay, though I worry about you, I do respect your privacy. And I will respect your decision to continue onwards, for it is not my place to dictate the choices of another woman.”

“Thank you,” said Veronyka, though she desperately wanted to tell Lyse or someone. They had their mission here, and she did very much want to see the void. She could handle a little void.

And so it was decided that the group would press onward, speaking to the voidsent in an attempt to find Azdaja. It wasn’t long before Veronyka heard the strange whispers again, and they made sense this time.

“You must be powerful to have devoured so many souls,” one hissed at her, reaching out with spindly fingers. Y’shtola drew her staff, readying a shield over Veronyka. But Veronyka was looking at her.

“How many souls?” Veronyka asked her once the voidsent had skittered away.

“Four,” said Y’shtola, a smile curling her lips as Veronyka stumbled back a step.

“Menphina’s grace, Eric, what the hell was in that spell?” Veronyka muttered, her hand splaying over her stomach as though she could feel the life within.

“Ah, so you know the time of conception already,” said Y’shtola.

“It was a weird heat, okay?” said Veronyka. “You know those always make us more fertile anyway.”

“I do,” said Y’shtola. “Knowing what you know now, are you still willing to continue?”

“Yes,” said Veronyka, nodding. “Are they still… okay?”

“All five of you are fine,” said Y’shtola.

Their inquiries led them to a smarter voidsent, one all assumed to be a warped version of Azdaja. But when they came to the room, it was familiar. Frighteningly so.

“Zenos’ avatar,” Y’shtola hissed, drawing her weapon. Estinien looked to be readying a jump, but something happened. The crystal of light around Zelda’s neck suddenly pulsed, and she stepped towards the reaper avatar that had once belonged to the late Zenos viator Galvus. Zelda reached into her shirt, producing the crystal on her hand. As its light washed over the reaper avatar, a change came over it. The strange limbs and look of it disappeared, vanishing into the shape of a woman. A reaper, wearing a very nice little hat. Her eyes were blue, the pupils large. Weapons were stowed away as Zelda blinked at the stranger and asked who she was.

It came to be that the strange woman had no name, or none that she could remember. Y’shtola was the one to suggest ‘Zero’, a name that the woman accepted. Talk was made of aether and exchanges, and then it came around to how Zero had come to be half-voidsent.

“Darkness touched my mother when I was in the womb,” said Zero. Veronyka heard Y’shtola gasp even before she turned to look at the other miqo’te.

“Is that what’s going to happen to mine?” Veronyka asked, forgetting where she was, who she was in front of, her mind only on what Zero had said. Behind her, Astrid froze, though Veronyka didn’t notice, too caught up in her mind whirling through every reason why this was a bad idea.

“Not necessar-” Y’shtola began, but Zelda grabbed Veronyka by the wrists, pulling her closer.

“You’re pregnant?” Zelda gasped. “Congratulations! When were you going to tell us that slight major detail?”

“I just found out, like, five minutes ago,” said Veronyka, walking after Zelda as her leader began walking her swiftly in the direction of the void gate. “Where are we going?”

“Home!” said Zelda. “Or you are, at least. The void is no place for a pregnant lady.”

“Especially one pregnant with four,” said Zero. Zelda whirled around, melted a little at Zero’s face, and then turned back to Veronyka.

“Four?” Zelda echoed, the exclamation echoing against the castle walls as they made their way back down to the void gate.

“That discovery was even sooner,” said Veronyka.

“Gods, no wonder you’ve been so tired and sick and don’t say you haven’t been sick because you let everyone know about it, you go home and rest and prepare for your new bundles of joy.” She paused, though her steps didn’t slow any. “I am so sorry for your body and Lyse’s hand.”

“We’ll be fine,” said Veronyka. “I think.” Zelda laughed as though Veronyka had just said something hilarious.

“Oh Nyka, you are in for a world of surprises. Or so I’m told,” said Zelda. “I only wish that there was a way that we could give you advice. But we can give you time and maybe babysitting and we will be just fine without you. You will be missed, though, of course.”

“I’m going to miss adventuring,” said Veronyka. “I didn’t think of that.”

“Oh, so this was planned?” Zelda asked.

“Kind of?” said Veronyka. “In the way that I plan anything. I make one split second decision and suddenly I’m lost in a dungeon or exploring an abandoned factory with a pair of dwarves or about to become a mother apparently.”

“The time felt right, I suppose,” said Zelda. “With the realm being safe and all.”

“Yeah,” said Veronyka, nodding. They had reached the portal by now, the rest of the group having surprised them by following them.

“Now, go and make your wife very happy and give your father more grey hairs and your sister a heart attack and your spot will always be open when you are ready to return,” said Zelda. She squeezed Veronyka’s hands. “Good luck. And congratulations.”

“Thank you,” said Veronyka, and hugged her before stepping through the portal. Astrid suddenly surged forward, her eyes overbright, her smile too wide.

“Congratulations!” Astrid called as Veronyka turned and waved to her before disappearing back through the portal to the Source.

“Warrior?” one of the radiants asked, and Veronyka yelped, having forgotten they’d been guarding the portal, and disappeared into a teleport spell.

Thanks to the magic of the Eorzean wedding rings, Veronyka was able to teleport directly to Lyse’s side. Which happened to be in the middle of an alliance meeting.

“Oh, hello,” said Veronyka as all eyes turned to her. “I don’t know where I expected to find you.”

“Nyka, what are you doing here?” Lyse asked, grinning as she rose from her seat and hugged her wife.

“Um… how important is this meeting?” Veronyka asked.

“Oh, it’s more of a catch up that probably could’ve been a group linkpearl,” said Lyse, waving it off. “We catch up every moon or so just to have a chat and keep relations cordial.”

“Alphie would be so proud,” said Veronyka, smiling. She looked around at the group. “Mind if I steal my wife?”

“Would that I could steal mine,” said Aymeric. “Er, girlfriend. You know what I mean.”

“She sends her regards,” said Veronyka. And then she took Lyse’s hands and teleported the two of them directly to the royal gardens.

“Okay, so this must be special,” said Lyse, looking at her surroundings. “Last time you took me here was when you proposed. And then I proposed. And then we got married here.”

“You could say that,” said Veronyka. “I’m pregnant.” She’d half been expecting Lyse to laugh or to faint. But instead, her wife grabbed her in her arms with a happy gasp.

“Really?” Lyse asked, her voice cracking. She let go of Veronyka as her wife giggled, Lyse resting her hands on Veronyka’s still mostly flat stomach.

“Yes,” said Veronyka. “I had a feeling but Y’shtola confirmed it and then Zelda made me come home because the void is no place for a pregnant lady.” Lyse, mercifully, remained blissfully unaware of Veronyka accidentally leaking their secret mission.

“Our babies are in there,” Lyse whispered, falling to her knees, pressing her ear to Veronyka’s stomach.

“How did you know there were more than one?” Veronyka asked.

“Because you’re a cat,” said Lyse, her voice slightly muffled by Veronyka’s shirt.

“Fair point,” said Veronyka. “There are four, actually.”

“Four,” Lyse whispered. Now she fainted, though only for a moment before she sprung back up, Veronyka giggling as her wife took her into her arms and kissed her all over her face. “Four babies! I’m gonna be a mama.”

“You are,” said Veronyka, still smiling, unable to stop smiling.

“You’re going to be a mama,” said Lyse. Veronyka nodded, giggling.

“That’s how it works,” said Veronyka. Lyse was crying now, Veronyka joining her, the news finally settling in now that she was home and safe.

“We should maybe go to Old Sharlayan, just to make sure,” said Lyse. “I trust Y’shtola but we have to make sure that they’re okay and you’re okay.”

“Okay, but if they give me Archon Loaf, I’m throwing it in the harbour,” said Veronyka.

“I will not hold it against you, my love,” said Lyse, hand on her heart. “That would almost certainly be bad for the baby.” Veronyka giggled as she took Lyse’s hands and teleported them both to the aetheryte plaza in Old Sharlayan. Immediately, nausea gripped her stomach, though Veronyka managed to not recreate the beginning of the tale of how two cats had discovered the impact of Zodiark’s death on Eorzea’s fish population.

“Veronyka! Are you okay?” Veronyka straightened up just in time for Tataru to run up to her, stopping and waving.

“I’m fine,” said Veronyka. “Just pregnant.”

“I knew it!’ Tataru crowed. “Congratulations, by the way, but I have a gift that just so happens to line up oh so nicely with that.”

“Can it wait until we visit the chirurgeons?” Lyse butted in. “She found out mid adventure so I’m a bit… worried.” Veronyka nodded.

“Oh, of course, the surprise can wait,” said Tataru. “I will await your return!”

The chirurgeon was a nice woman, not Kytte as Veronyka had half expected and half feared but a kindly miqo’te who took one look at Veronyka and knew what her question was before she even asked.

“Four healthy babies and one healthy and soon to be very exhausted mother,” said the chirurgeon. “My congratulations to both of you.”

“Thank you,” said Lyse. “Anything we should know?”

“Plenty of rest and don’t eat too unhealthy,” said the chirurgeon.

“I am not eating Archon Loaf,” Veronyka huffed. The miqo’te gagged.

“Gods, no, that’s the last thing I’d suggest,” said the miqo’te. “Traditional Seeker food should suffice, as well as hydration. You look after your wife now.” This last she said to Lyse.

“I will wait on her hand and foot,” Lyse said solemnly, and Veronyka giggled and butted her shoulder with her forehead.

With a clean bill of health, the two returned to the plaza, where Tataru awaited as promised.

“There you two are,” said Tataru, perking up. “A clean bill of health, I trust?”

“All five of them are healthy as can be,” Lyse reported.

“Four babies?” Tataru gasped, her eyes huge. “Well, let it never be said that a secretary cannot also be a babysitter.”

“You’d probably have to get in line,” said Veronyka. “So, what the surprise?”

“While you were all off saving the world, I have managed to secure an island for each and every one of you,” said Tataru. “It fits in quite nicely with the news, I think.”

“Almost like you knew before we did,” Veronyka mused. Tataru giggled.

“Oh, it was only a matter of time, really,” said Tataru. “Though I certainly wasn’t expecting you two to start the next generation. But never mind, you will make wonderful parents, I’m certain of it.”

“I hope so,” said Lyse.

“I know so,” said Veronyka. “Let’s go to the island. Oh, but first, is that where dad is?”

“He is indeed on his island,” said Tataru. “I have but recently returned from showing him and his beloved husband to their future home.”

“Do you think we can visit him first?” Veronyka asked, pulling her tail into her hands. “I want to tell him before anyone else can.”

“But of course!” said Tataru. “Let’s hope that he’s not too busy.”

For a mercy, Veronyka’s stomach was calm on the boat ride to the island, though she did certainly feel the nerves setting in. Lyse looked far more nervous, though, white as a sheet.

“Lyse, he’s not gonna freak out,” said Veronyka.

“But what if he does?” Lyse whined. “I got his daughter pregnant, that’s like the old cliche.”

“His daughter who you have already married,” said Veronyka. She kissed her wife’s forehead. “We’ll be fine, Lyse. And then we can go and relax on our island.”

Though Lyse still looked uncertain, she let her wife reassure her and tried to relax as the boat pulled onto the sandy shore. They disembarked, Lyse steadying Veronyka as she stumbled a little getting out of the boat.

“Lyse, I’m not that fragile yet,” said Veronyka, smiling at her. “If you baby me too much, they’re going to suspect.”

“Says the one whose hands haven’t left her stomach for more than a few moments since you found out,” said Lyse.

“I have not,” said Veronyka, worry immediately gnawing at her again. “Have I?”

“You had your hand on your belly when you teleported into the meeting,” said Lyse. “I thought you were hurt or something at first, I only relaxed when I didn’t see any blood.”

“Oh, shit,” said Veronyka. “Now the whole alliance knows. Merlwyb better not tell my sister before I can.”

“Next stop then?” Lyse asked.

“I’m kind of terrified of what she’ll say, to be honest,” said Veronyka. “Can’t it wait?”

“D’you want Merlwyb to tell her?” Lyse asked. Veronyka sighed.

“Alright, fine, she can be my next port of call,” said Veronyka. “Can this boat go to Limsa, Tataru?”

“Oh, but we’re so close to your island,” said Tataru. “Although, the Cieldales, where these are located, is rather close to Vylbrand.”

“Island first,” Veronyka decided. “I want to rest.”

“As the lady wants,” said Tataru. “Now, let’s see your father.”

The small group ascended a small hill before the island spilled out before them, revealing a clearing nestled among several high, rocky walls. And in the middle was Jack, humming to himself as he went about constructing a rudimentary building. Urianger was helping him, levitating things that were too heavy to hold.

“Dad,” Veronyka called, trying very hard to keep her hands to her sides. Jack turned around, confused at first before a big grin spread across his features, lighting them up.

“Nyka,” said Jack, putting his tools down and making his way towards her. “What brings you here? Weren’t you going to the void with the rest?”

“Something came up,” said Veronyka as Urianger joined them.

“Art thou ill, Veronyka?” Urianger asked, and Veronyka immediately noticed that her hand had strayed to her belly again.

“Is your tummy giving you trouble again?” Jack asked, ears lowered.

“Well,” said Veronyka, suddenly unsure of what to say.

“She’s pregnant,” said Lyse, immediately trying to hide behind her wife. “I’m sorry.” Veronyka wasn’t sure who she was apologising to.

“Really?” Jack asked, his entire demeanour brightening. Veronyka nodded, lacing her fingers together over her stomach.

“Y’shtola told me after we got into the void,” said Veronyka. Jack gasped, Urianger copying him.

“And she did not think to warn thee before?” Urianger asked, immediately moving to fuss over her.

“There was no time,” said Veronyka. “But Zelda convinced me to leave and I was worried too.” She thought it best to not tell them exactly why she’d been worried. They could find out the full mission details from Zelda. Jack folded his arms over his chest, a stern look crossing his features.

“Well, I am very disappointed,” Jack said. And then, before they could panic too much, his face split into a grin. “That you didn’t tell me sooner. C’mere.” And he pulled Veronyka into his arms, hugging her tightly but not too tightly, swaying her from side to side.

“Dad,” Veronyka complained. “Movement makes me sick.” Jack gasped, snapping his fingers.

“Is that why you were sick when we were exploring the treasure vault?” Jack asked.

“Uh huh,” said Veronyka, nodding, though she looked a little pale. “I thought something was up then but I wasn’t sure. The smell of spicy food never used to make me sick.”

“Mine congratulations to thee as well,” said Urianger, and yelped as he, too, was pulled into the hug. And then Jack looked at Lyse, who stood where she had been left, looking uncertain.

“You’re not… mad?” Lyse asked.

“Only that you didn’t tell us sooner,” said Jack. “You’ll make an excellent mother, Lyse. You know I trust you with Nyka, if that’s what you’re worried about, you’ve proven it time and again and you’ve married her. Made an honest woman of her, as they say. She’s clearly happy with you, what’s there to be mad about?”

“I… I don’t actually know,” said Lyse, brushing away tears. And then Jack pulled her into the group hug, squeezing her tightly, and Lyse was twining her fingers with her wife’s and they were all crying and celebrating the news and musing about the future.

“I insist on babysitting,” said Jack. “At each and every opportunity, you and your little one will want for nothing.”

“Ones,” Veronyka corrected him. “Y’shtola said that there are four.” Jack gasped, his one visible eye filling with light.

“Four?” Urianger echoed. “Then I must needs insist on immediate and prolonged bed rest. Multiple babes can be quite taxing on the body.”

“I have been sleeping a lot more lately,” said Veronyka.

“As well thou shouldst,” said Urianger.

“Anything you need,” Jack reminded her. “Even if it’s something as annoying as going to the mainland to get whatever it is you’re craving.”

“Hey, I’ll be there to help her with that too,” said Lyse.

“The healthy things, then,” said Jack. “I’ll even rub your feet and your back, unless you’d prefer Lyse did that.”

“I can do that too,” said Lyse. “Buuut someone’s going to have to be her impulse control, we’re both pretty bad at that.” She gestured to Veronyka’s condition with a laugh.

“Ah, so it was half planned,” said Jack.

“In the way that we half plan anything,” said Veronyka. “I thought it’d just be one but I guess the Spinner has other ideas.”

“Doesn’t she always,” said Jack. “I mean it, though, Nyka, anything you need. Will you be raising them on the island?”

“Yeah,” said Veronyka, nodding. “It seemed like the perfect opportunity.”

“Wait, where is Tataru?” Lyse asked, looking around for the lalafell who had been forgotten in the excitement.

The lalafell in question was eventually located in the boat, chattering away to the ferryman. She brightened with a smile as the group appeared.

“Oh, hello! I trust the news went well?” Tataru asked.

“Very well,” said Veronyka, nodding and squeezing her father’s flesh hand before moving to stand with her wife once more. “Lyse was worried for nothing, like I thought she would be.”

“You can’t tell me that you weren’t scared of his reaction,” said Lyse. “He’s a big hrothgar, Nyka!”

“Aye, but a soft-hearted one at that,” said Urianger.

“A big teddy bear,” Veronyka teased. “He’s going to check up on me so much.”

“Just knock first, yeah?” said Lyse. “Or call.”

“It would indeed be wise to not see things that cannot easily be unseen,” said Urianger. Jack laughed while Veronyka blushed.

“I will remember that,” said Jack. “Go on, get out of here. Enjoy your island and don’t overdo it.”

“Yes, dad,” said Veronyka, slowly lowering herself into the boat. Now, there were three sets of hands to steady her. She laughed. “Guys, I’m barely a moon, not full term.”

“Babe, you’ve been having to loosen your belts for weeks,” said Lyse. Veronyka huffed but didn’t deny it. She had been blaming it on the bedrest that had been required following her recovery from the battle with Zenos, and the rich and delicious food from Thavnair. Also helping with the hippo delivery service.

“Call if you need anything,” Jack reminded her as they left the beach behind. Veronyka and Lyse waved to the pair standing on the beach.

“I will!” said Veronyka.

“Want to see your sister now?” Lyse asked, looking to Tataru before looking back at her wife.

“May as well,” said Veronyka. “Rip the bandage off and get fussed over and lectured. Gods, she would have known weeks ago if I was still living with her.”

“She is very observant,” said Lyse. “I bet she’ll know before we even open our mouths to tell her.”

“I just hope she’s not too mad,” said Veronyka.

“Why would she be upset?” Tataru piped up. “You're a woman grown, Veronyka, hardly the little kit who she smuggled across the border. You’re married, you’ll soon have a place of your own, why not add babies to the mix?”

“She worries,” said Veronyka. And, as they grew closer and closer to the Moraby Drydock, Veronyka worried too.

“Part of me wants to teleport straight to her and just rip the bandage off,” said Veronyka as she and Lyse stood with Tataru in the busy aetheryte plaza. It wasn’t usually so busy, but judging by the gentleman who was currently being swamped by people, this was the one way to reach the islands. A sudden bout of nausea twisted Veronyka’s stomach, though as she heard a ribbiting in her mind, she knew the cause.

“Are you alright?” Lyse asked, her hand on her wife’s shoulder.

“Frog’s here,” said Veronyka. She grimaced, then rushed for the nearest privy, too much of a lady to lose her lunch in the harbour.

“Hey, Tataru, elite marks don’t appear on the island, do they?” Lyse asked while Veronyka cleaned herself up.

“I was assured that they do not,” said Tataru.

“Good,” said Veronyka, rinsing her mouth with water. “Then I’ll happily stay there. As much as I’ll miss hunting, it’s not safe. Especially with my echo.”

“A swift trot to Limsa it is, then!” Tataru declared with a clap of her hands.

“Stupid frog speeding things up,” Veronyka muttered as she climbed into the chocobo carriage that Tataru had rented for them. She knew that it wasn’t due to her pregnancy, of course, she wasn’t that far along, after all, but rather due to the simple fact of elite marks making her woozy.

Veronyka relaxed once they were inside of Limsa, taking deep breaths of the sea air.

“Strange, I thought the stink of Limsa would’ve made you sicker,” said Lyse.

“It’s home,” said Veronyka. “I know that technically home is on the other side of the wall but…”

“It’s the place you grew up, yeah, I know,” said Lyse, nodding and taking her hand. “Now I’m the only one who’s nervous.”

“Scared of my sister?” Veronyka asked with a laugh. “She wouldn’t hurt you, she’d just fret and try to keep me at home with her and insist on running her own tests. Let’s not mention the void.”

“Agreed,” said Lyse, nodding swiftly. That was a surefire way to have Veronyka locked inside of her bedroom and have all manner of tests conducted on her and the babies well into their childhood.

“Louisa?” Veronyka called as she reached the apartment that her and her sister had lived in since the Calamity. It looked empty, though. There wasn’t even a carbuncle to come bounding out to greet them.

“Guess she’s not home,” said Lyse. “That means we can turn around and go back to the island and skip this awkward conversation, yeah?”

“Lyse,” Veronyka chided, smiling. “No, she has to know, she’d kill me if she was the last one to find out.” Even if she kind of was, considering that Veronyka’s friends and adopted father had been the first to know.

“Find out what?” Louisa emerged from her bedroom, looking as though she were about to head out for a nice lunch with her girlfriend.

“Um,” said Veronyka while Lyse tried to hide herself behind her wife. Louisa sniffed the air, then, and Veronyka silently cursed the better senses of miqo’te.

“And when were you going to tell me that you’d gotten my little sister pregnant?” Louisa asked, looking directly at Lyse.

“Um,” said Lyse, looking very much unlike the woman who had punched Zenos hard enough to break his faceplate.

“Please tell me it didn’t happen here,” said Louisa, wrinkling her nose.

“Gods, no, it was at our home,” said Veronyka. “Ala Mhigo. But if something did happen here then it’s our business and I don’t complain when you bring Merlwyb over.”

“Well, at least it wasn’t while you were recovering,” said Louisa. Veronyka remained very silent. Louisa chose to ignore the quiet admission. “How long have you known?” She turned to her sister again now, her expression softening.

“I found out for sure today but… I’ve suspected since we found Alzadaal’s treasure vault,” said Veronyka.

“Well, you’re lucky that you haven’t been visiting our tribe recently,” said Louisa. “They would’ve smelled you coming.”

“Keepers and Seekers smell different, don’t they?” Veronyka asked. Louisa nodded. “Then I guess that’s how my friends took a while to find out.”

“Even had they known, it is very subtle,” said Louisa. “Apart from the fact that it’s taboo to say that unless you’re family or tribe.”

“So it’s weird that Y’shtola told me?” Veronyka asked.

“Y’shtola is smart and respectful, she wouldn’t say it without good reason,” said Louisa.

“Yeah, I guess she was just worried about our adventures,” said Veronyka, remembering at the last moment to keep quiet about the void stuff.

“Did you come home to stay here until you have the baby?” Louisa asked, warming to the situation far more quickly than either of them had expected.

“Actually, Tataru found an archipelago of islands for us all,” said Veronyka. “We’re thinking of starting our new life there.”

“I heard about those,” said Louisa. “Merlwyb will be happy to know that they’re being put to good use. And this will probably spoil the surprise but there are actually mammets to help you out if you need help building or gardening or tending animals.”

“It really is perfect,” said Veronyka, tears stinging her eyes.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Lyse asked, rubbing her upper arm.

“Just… something nice and good is finally happening,” said Veronyka. “What’s the catch?”

“There is none,” said Louisa, holding her sister’s other shoulder. “You’ve saved the world, now it’s time to rest.”

“Yeah, isn’t that what you said when you decided to risk pregnancy?” Lyse asked. “The world’s safe enough for babies?”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” said Louisa, and Veronyka managed a tiny giggle at her wife’s flustered face.

“I wish mum and dad were here to see this,” said Veronyka, the emotions staying now.

“I know they’re watching,” said Louisa. “The Sharlayan scholars allowed me access to the Aitiascope, so I managed to see them. They’re so proud of us, Nyka, proud of how we’ve grown.”

“I should see them,” Veronyka managed to say through her tears, the waves of emotion crashing over her. “Before it’s too unsafe.”

“We’ve had enough emotions for one day, surely?” Lyse asked, and Veronyka sniffled and wiped her face.

“I’d heard that pregnant women get emotional, but this is a bit ridiculous,” said Veronyka. Lyse kissed her cheek.

“My family too,” Lyse whispered, and now she was crying too.

Tea was had, safe tea for pregnant women with a touch of ginger after the frog incident was mentioned. More tears were shed, and advice was given, and the two were sent on their way with supplies to help nourish growing babies and their very hungry and soon to be exhausted mother. They left while Louisa was trying to tell them which sexual positions would be best, Louisa laughing at the last and wishing them well and promising to visit at the earliest opportunity. This was followed up by a ‘linkpearl first!’ that had her blushing scarlet.

“Now are we ready to depart for the island?” Tataru asked after they found her at the markets.

“Yeah, we are,” said Veronyka, leaning against her wife for support and closing her eyes.

And then, at last, they were at the island. Lyse disembarked first, insisting on sweeping her wife into her arms to carry her over the ‘threshold’, as it were.

“There are going to be many buildings,” said Tataru. “Are you going to carry her over each and every one?”

“Absolutely,” said Lyse, Veronyka giggling in her arms. But then she stopped, gasped, and pointed as a mammet who Tataru introduced as the Felicitous Furball came to greet them.

“They’re already dressed the part!” said Veronyka. “Cat ears for the babysitters.” Her ears instinctively flattered when the mammet began to speak but, once its voice evened out, she was more than happy to listen. Even if she took in almost none of it.

While the mammets built their little hideaway in record time, Lyse sat down so that Veronyka could use her lap as a makeshift pillow.

“You okay, baby?” Lyse asked, running her hand through her wife’s hair.

“Tired,” said Veronyka. “It’s been a long day.”

“And that’s on top of being pregnant,” said Lyse. “It takes a lot of energy to make one baby, let alone four.”

“I’m tired just thinking about it,” said Veronyka. An instant later, her breathing deepened into that of sleep, Lyse gazing down at her. A place of rest and relaxation, where they needn’t lift a finger… they’d earned that, hadn’t they?

#ffxiv #fanfic #Burgie fanfic #pregnancy #ch: Veronyka Felis #ch: Zelda Starkk #ch: Y'shtola Rhul #ch: Zero #ch: Jack Epocan #ch: urianger Augurelt #ch: Louisa Felis #ch: Lyse hext #ch: Astrid Witte #ch: Tataru Taru #ship: Lyseka #6.2 spoilers #very mild though

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rijksmuseum-art · 3 years

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Prince Maurits astride the White Warhorse presented to him after his Victory at Nieuwpoort, Museum of the Netherlands

Prins Maurits in wapenrusting gezeten op de witte strijdhengst hem geschonken na de overwinning in de Slag bij Nieuwpoort. Op de achtergrond het optrekken van de legers.

http://hdl.handle.net/10934/RM0001.COLLECT.8683

#museumarchive #rijksmuseum #europeana

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harvard-art-museums-prints · 3 years

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Plate 7: Study of a Male Nude Astride a Sack, Working a Pair of Bellows, Jan de Bisschop, 17th century, Harvard Art Museums: Prints

Harvard Art Museums/Fogg Museum, Gift of Belinda L. Randall from the collection of John Witt Randall

https://www.harvardartmuseums.org/collections/object/243347

#jandebisschop

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rsenak · 3 years

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5.3 again but this time a companion piece to this thing i drew AGES ago

#ffxiv #Final Fantasy XIV #my art #ff14 #Final Fantasy 14 #shadowbringers #warrior of light #warrior of darkness #astrid witte #g'raha tia #wol x g'raha tia #(it is what it is)#wolgraha

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rchkayy · 4 years

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I love music so much, and 2020 is such a mess. So here's the songs i listen to.

Alexandra Stan - Mr. Saxobeat

Cassie - Me & U

Bruno Mars - Locked Out Of Heaven

One Direction - Steal My Girl

One Direction - Night Changes

Meghan Trainor - Just A Friend To You

Little Mix, Cheat Code - Only You

Hayley Kiyoko - Curious

Clairo - Sofia

Clairo - Flamin' Hot Cheetos

Clean Bandit - Tick Tock

FLETCHER - Bitter

FLETCHER - Shh.. Don't Say It

FLETCHER - Sex (With My Ex)

Little Mix - Holiday

Camila Cabello - Shamless

Shawn Mendes - Treat You Better

Lauren Jauregui - More Than That

Irene & Seulgi - Monster

Red Velvet - Psycho

Red Velvet - In & Out

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

Britt Nicole - The Sun Is Rising

Meghan Trainor, AJ Mitchell - After You

Bahari - :(

Clean Bandit - Baby

Madison Beer - Baby

Selena Gomez - Look At Her Now

Halsey, Lauren Jauregui - Strangers

Halsey - Graveyard

Ellie Goulding, Red Velvet - Close To Me

ZAYN, Sia - Dusk Till Dawn

DJ Snake, Justin Bieber - Let Me Love You

Britney Spears - Overprotected

Mandy Moore - I Wanna Be With You

Jennifer Paige - Stranded

Doja Cat - Like That

Little Mix - Down & Dirty

Fifth Harmony, Kid Ink - Worth It

Little Mix, Sharaya J - Strip

Hailee Steinfeld - Your Name Hurts

ZAYN - Pillowtalk

Lauv, Troye Sivan - I'm So Tired..

Lauv - Paris In The Rain

Paramore - Still In To You

Ariana Grande, Lil Wayne - Let Me Love You

Fousheé - Deep End

Gwen Stefani, Eve - Rich Girl

Ashnikko - Daisy

Red Velvet - Mosquito

Witt Lowry, Ava Max - Into Your Arms

Ava Max, Alan Walker - Alone Pt. II

BLACKPINK - So Hot (THE BLACKLABEL REMIX)

Fiersa Besari - Waktu Yang Salah

Arash, Helena - One Day

Little Mix - Break Up Song

Ava Max - Take You To Hell

Ariana Grande, Justin Bieber - Stuck With U

Little Mix - Little Me

Little Mix - Salute

Nicki Minaj - Anaconda

Shania Twain - You're Still The One

Astrid S - Hurts So Good

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dennisfgux158 · 3 years

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Bruidsjurk/trouwjurk Ontwerpen In Castricum

Ontwerp Je Eigen Bruidsjurk castricum

Table of ContentsRuime Keuze Trouwjurken Voor Iedere Bruid In CastricumTrouwjurk Ontwerpen - Waar Begin Je?Ontwerp De Trouwjurk Van Je Dromen regio CastricumJe Eigen Trouwjurk Ontwerpen - Weddings In CastricumTrouwjurk Ontwerpen - BruidsatelierBruidsjurken - Bruidshuis regio Castricum5 Top Couturiers Kleden De Bruid In CastricumCouture – De Mooiste Dag Van Je Leven regio CastricumCouture – De Mooiste Dag Van Je Leven castricumRuime Keuze Trouwjurken Voor Iedere Bruid

Dit is het geval, omdat de materialen die gebruikt worden in veel gevallen kwetsbaar zijn. Denk aan materialen zoals kant, zijde, satijn, tule en aan imitatie bont. Bruidsmode specialisten verkopen niet alleen trouwjurken, omdat de meeste bruidswinkels ook aanverwante artikelen verkopen, zoals bruidslingerie en hoeden. Daarnaast is het denkbaar dat binnen een bruidswinkel bruidsschoenen verkocht worden.

Branchekennis is in alle gevallen belangrijk wanneer we het hebben over bruidsmode en artikelen. Het passen en uitzoeken van een trouwjurk is voor de meeste mensen een belangrijk onderdeel van de bruiloft. De bruid wil er op de trouwdag speciaal uitzien, en dit gaat vaak samen met een bezoek aan de kapper, schoonheidsspecialist en visagist voor de make-up.

Bruidsjurk/trouwjurk Ontwerpen castricum

Omdat de meeste mensen maar één keer trouwen is alles nieuw als een bruiloft geregeld moet worden. Er zijn tegenwoordig ook redelijk veel bruisparen, die voor het organiseren van een bruiloft een weddingplanner inhuren. Het zijn de weddingplanners, die in dat geval alle organisatorische bruidsmode grote maten werkzaamheden uit handen nemen. Denk bijvoorbeeld aan het regelen van de bruidstaart, het regelen van de catering, het regelen van de feestlocatie en aan het overleggen met de ceremoniemeester.

In de middeleeuwen waren trouwjurken heel divers van kleur en rijkelijk versierd - Bruidsjurk/Trouwjurk laten ontwerpen. Hoe meer versieringen en hoe meer kleur, hoe rijker iemand was. Later waren zwarte bruidsjurken in de mode en pas aan het eind van de achttiende eeuw is de witte trouwjurk ontstaan. Tegenwoordig zijn er veel verschillende trouwjurken te vinden.

Trouwjurk Op Maat Gemaakt regio Castricum

Op het internet zijn eindeloos veel voorbeelden te vinden van trouwjurken. Wie een bruidsjurk gaat uitzoeken doet er verstandig aan eerst een budget vast te stellen, zodat het zoeken naar een geschikte trouwjurk makkelijk wordt. Ook kan het verstandig zijn om foto's te maken van bruidsjurken. Foto's van trouwjurken kunnen helpen bij het vinden van de juiste stijl.

Wel zijn er voldoende andere opleidingsmogelijkheden, zoals de Mbo-opleiding medewerker mode/maatkleding of de Hbo-opleiding aan het Amsterdamse Fashion institute. Welke opleiding het beste zal passen is verder persoonlijk. In alle gevallen is het wel belangrijk dat een bruidsmode specialist beschikt over branchekennis. Daarnaast zijn er ook genoeg externe opleidingsinstituten te vinden waar je een opleiding kan volgen.

Trouwjurk Ontwerpen - Waar Begin Je?

Een bruidsmode specialist zal in de meeste gevallen werkzaam zijn als ondernemer. In dat geval kan ook de benaming middenstander van toepassing zijn. Er zijn tegenwoordig ook bruidsmode specialisten die alleen via webshops bruidsmode aanbieden. Een echte bruidsmode specialist moet ook over een fysiek winkelfiliaal beschikken. De belangrijkste competentie van een bruidsmode specialist is de kennis van bruidsmode.

Bijzonder Exclusieve Ontwerpen! Strálen In Een Trouwjurk

Dit heeft er vooral mee te maken dat er geen vervelende fouten mogen voorkomen. Ook het volgen van de laatste trends is belangrijk als bruidsmode specialist. Omdat een bruidsmode specialist werkzaam is als ondernemer moet je over een commerciële instelling beschikken. Algemeen belangrijke woorden zijn vakkennis, adviseren, passie, energie, inspiratie, begeleiding, plannen en organiseren.

Bruidsmode Castricum

Over het algemeen zal een bruidsmode specialist zelf het arbeidsmarktperspectief moeten bepalen door het starten van een eigen bruidswinkel. De doorgroeimogelijkheden van een bruidsmode specialist moeten gezien worden in het opbouwen van een goede naam binnen de branche en het wellicht openen van meerdere filialen. Arbeidsvoorwaarden zijn niet van toepassing op een bruidsmode specialist.

Wat een bruidsmode specialist precies zal verdienen is verder niet zomaar aan te geven. Dit zal sterk afhankelijk zijn van het aantal verkopen en de onkosten, zoals de winkelhuur.

Bruidsmode – Een Jurk Die Bij Je Past castricum

youtube

Nikita Bruidsmode, trouwjurk verkopen, trouwjurk kopen, passen, passen voor de lol, trouwen,brabant, grave, nijmegen, huwelijk, eigenaar nikita bruidsmode, team nikita bruidsmode, ervaringen nikita bruidsmode, trouwjurken tweedehands, vintage trouwjurken, secondhand, preloved,

Je bruidsjurk is een . Voor je trouwdag houd je ‘m angstvallig weg bij iedereen. Je jurk mag natuurlijk op geen enkele wijze schade oplopen. Ook na je trouwdag wil je dat je jurk mooi blijft, maar hoe zorg je hiervoor? Wij hebben een lijstje met tips voor je opgesteld over hoe jouw jurk nog jaren mee kan gaan! Deze tips helpen jouw jurk de periode voor de bruiloft, tijdens de bruiloft en na de bruiloft te overleven.

Bijzonder Exclusieve Ontwerpen! Strálen In Een Trouwjurk

En dit is niet geheel zonder risico. Probeer de jurk. Je komt daardoor niet in de verleiding om de jurk zo nu en dan toch eens uit de hoes te halen, aan te raken en daarmee mogelijk te beschadigen. Wat als de rits stuk gaat, er iets loslaat. Als je de jurk niet thuis hebt dan voorkom je dit risico.

Je hoeft je jurk dan in principe niet meer te strijken op de dag zelf. Zorg ervoor dat je vrienden, je (schoon)moeder, de mensen die je helpen met jou aan te kleden op je trouwdag goed weten hoe zij de jurk bij jou moeten aandoen en moeten dichtmaken. Zorg ervoor dat je weet van welk materiaal de jurk is gemaakt, wat de was/droogvoorschriften zijn en vraag om advies in de trouwzaak waar je je jurk heb gekocht.

Een Trouwjurk Ontwerpen In Castricum

Zodra je thuiskomt hang de jurk op een gordijnroede of op een deur. Hoewel het effect niet onmiddellijk zichtbaar is, na verloop van tijd zie je dit wel degelijk. En let erop dat je je jurk aan de lusjes ophangt en niet aan de jurk zelf zodat deze niet kan uitrekken door het gewicht.

Maar dit is niet het moment om het vanaf nu dan maar los te laten. Blijf bedachtzaam. Kinderen met hun tomeloze energie en spontaniteit en dieren die argeloos, net op het moment dat je even niet kijkt, met hun natte neus langs je jurk gaan of er een enthousiaste poot op zetten.

Trouwjurken Met Elegante Stoffen - Bruidsmode regio Castricum

Doe je jurk zo laat mogelijk aan en doe dit met grote zorg (Trouwjurk/Bruidsjurk op maat laten maken). Zorg ervoor dat je kleedster(s) schone handen hebben en geen loshangende sieraden dragen waarmee ze je jurk kunnen beschadigen. Als je je trouwjurk aantrekt dan ben je al opgemaakt en is je bruidskapsel ook al gedaan. Bedek je gezicht met een losse doek zodat je make up geen vlekken maakt op je jurk als je deze aantrekt.

Mocht er onverhoopt toch iets mis gaan, geen paniek. Je hebt immers alles goed doorgesproken met de mensen die op dat moment bij je zijn en zij weten wat ze moeten doen in het geval van bijvoorbeeld een vlek. Als je trouwdag voorbij is en je bent bijgekomen van de eerste emoties denk dan na over wat je met je jurk wilt doen.

Bruidsmode – Een Jurk Die Bij Je Past regio Castricum

Het liefst voordat je afreist naar je huwelijksreisbestemming. Kies voor kwaliteit en dus voor een goede en betrouwbare stomerij. Een jurk moet grondig gereinigd worden. Als je dit niet doet dan zie je na verloop van tijd mogelijk verkleuringen door transpiratie of andere vlekken die naarmate de tijd verstrijkt zichtbaar worden en er steeds lastiger uit te krijgen zijn.

Trouwjurk Laten Maken - Bruidsmode - Atelier

Het droog laten stomen is niet ideaal voor zijden stoffen. Informeer bij de trouwzaak waar je je jurk heb gekocht waar en hoe je deze het beste kan laten reinigen. Astrid Peters van vertelt: je kunt je jurk op een paspop hangen en deze in de slaapkamer zetten. Er zijn ook bruiden die de jurk laten vermaken in een korte jurk: trash the dress! Je kunt ‘m ook gewoon in de hoes laten hangen, maar wel het liefste in een donkere ruimte.

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tempered-will · 6 years

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Astrid through the MSQ

A Realm Reborn - Heavensward - Heavensward/Stormblood - Shadowbringers (?)

#ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #paladin #dark knight #ffxiv screenshots #reshade #mine #screenshots #astrid witte #the bloodspiller #hey can you see her snitly slowly spiral away #i had one nice character............

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zdusk · 6 years

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february screenshot challenge - day 3: friends

#ffxiv #screenshot challenge #day 3: friends #wol #gpose #final fantasy xiv #warrior of light #ok so i kinda cheated for this one and used old pics of pals bc i didnt have time to take new ones today-#big tag list here we go #zelda starkk #anjelain vairemont #alessa braddock #astrid witte #jacky zebrablanket #trebor snave #izabella white #there are more ofc #but i don't have any good pics with them ;u;

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islareeveswriting · 7 years

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World of Our Own | Harry Styles AU | Chapter 10

PREVIOUS | NEXT

STORY PAGE HERE

LISTEN TO THINK BEFORE I TALK ASTRID S Maybe I should think before I talk I get emotional and words come out all wrong Sometimes I'm more honest than I want So maybe I should think before Maybe next time, I'll think before I talk

INSTAGRAMS

Word Count 5.9k

It was, by far, the sunniest day of the year so far. Rae could practically feel the sun’s rays through her window. Yet, there she was laid on her bed, on her back, knees bent facing the sky and her dress falling back over her hips, exposing the underwear she had on underneath. A sharp, aggressive, fed up sigh left her mouth, as she continued to stare at the white artex ceiling that she couldn’t help but wish was a bright blue sky.

It had been the same for a few days, but until now Rae had been trapped inside in a blur of coffee, vegemite on toast, photos and just enough self doubt to make it all feel very stressful. Her housemates hadn’t left the house in days, but they didn’t have the penultimate project of the year excuse like she did. Rae could not fathom why sitting in front of the TV day after day, watching dull daytime TV, was more enjoyable than going out in the sun. She sure knew where she’d have rather been.

For the boys the past week or so seemed to be the calm before the storm that was the end of second year. For Rae, the past week she’d been in the eye of the storm. None of them seemed to really notice though as they wasted the days away in front of the TV and wasted the night away with too much beer and ventures down to the pub or the clubs. Even Harry hadn’t bothered to come and check on her after she made herself yet another round of vegemite on toast and took it up to her bedroom, locking herself away for yet another twenty four hours.

Things with Harry had changed so quickly that Rae didn’t even notice them changing, only that it was different. Since their photoshoot and night on the sofa, it felt like they’d gone back to the beginning and the Harry that cuddled her on the couch and led her around a foreign city had been an imposter for the real Harry that appeared to be scared to even offer a cup of tea. The prospect of being alone with her made Harry, practically, run a mile, and Rae couldn’t work out where the switch had occurred.

It kept her awake at night. She felt melodramatic and stupid, but still she laid eyes open at night thinking about him and begging her chest to stop aching the way it did when all she could think about was how close to something they might have been. She couldn’t help but feel a little shattered and broken by it. It didn’t matter what she told herself, she had developed feelings for Harry, feelings that didn’t go away over night, no matter how cold he was being with her or would continue to be. At this point, she was fairly certain he could slam a door in her face and Rae would still wind up, awake at night thinking about him and hoping he was ok.

When she wasn’t working on presenting the photos of him she’d taken, trying not to think too much about how good that day had been, she was thinking about what an idiot she’d been. When she stopped for a minute, all the should think about was that she’d pushed him too far, freaked him out, because he didn’t want a relationship where they kissed at the top of tall buildings and cuddled on the couch watching vintage romantic movies. Even if she wanted more, it didn’t matter when even tiptoeing around it made Harry fearful enough that he couldn’t give Rae the time of day any longer. Or at least that’s how it felt to her.

Looking back she wished she’d just asked him what was going on. At the time she was scared he’d say nothing at all was going on and it was just fun. Now she’d take that over what she had. She’d take, just friends over barely acquaintances and lying on her bed staring at the ceiling bored out of her mind, but nervous to walk into the living room and not feel his eyes on her the way she normally did when she walked into a room and he was there.

Rae whispered a profanity under her breath before, rocking herself to sit up and swing off her bed. She pushed her underwear down her legs kicking it over her feet as she grabbed a black bikini from her drawer. If her friends wanted to sit inside on the hottest day of the year so far, they could be her guest, but she wasn’t about to join them.

Rae practically skipped, imp-like, down the stairs, her dress swinging around her as she went, her still slightly damp hair slapping her shoulders as it fell with her movement. She could hear the TV playing in the living room and put a safe bet on, in her head, that they were watching that ‘stupid Homes under the Hammer’ programme that she couldn’t fathom the appeal in.

‘What are you doing?’ Rae asked swanning into the living room, no one even looking to her, hanging in the doorway, holding onto the door handle as she swung on it. Someone mumbled something illegible and Rae just rolled her eyes. ‘Eugh, I’m going to the beach, I’ll be back later.’ Rae groaned spinning back out of the living room heading for the kitchen to grab some snacks and a bottle of water for her trip.

‘Brighton beach is shit.’ Rae heard Liam call after her, as if she didn’t already know that.

‘Not going to Brighton beach.’ Rae retaliated, rifling through the apples, looking for the one that looked least like a maggot might squirm out of it when she took a bite.

‘What? Where are you going then?’ Liam questioned, and Rae could picture the confused look washing over his puppy dog features.

‘West Witt.’

‘Where the fucks that?’ Rae chuckled and shook her head. She would happily admit the boys knew Brighton city better than her, but it was undeniable she knew the surrounding area miles better.

‘About an hour west.’ Rae replied, quietly, getting a little fed up with the interrogation as she walked back past the open living room door.

‘Hold up.’ Rae heard Niall groan. She could hear muttering but couldn’t make out the words, as she stood by the front door, rucksack in her hand waiting to leave. Rae sighed, shifting her weight as the mumbling silence continued in the room behind her. She was going to miss her train if Niall didn’t hurry up with whatever he was up to.

‘Mind if we all come?’ Rae turned to Niall’s voice, leaning against the door frame, topless and in jersey shorts as always seemed to be the case. His hair was messy, unwashed and unbrushed, the blonde growing out making it look even dirtier than it was from not being washed in two days. Rae just shrugged. ‘Harry will drive, grab some food, have a BBQ on the beach tonight.’

‘Sure, sounds good.’ Rae grinned as convincingly as she could, trying to ignore the hammering of her heart in her chest as she thought about spending an hour in close proximity with Harry and a day on the beach with him. She hoped Niall couldn’t see through her the way he always seemed to do, and the smirk he gave didn’t give her a clue either way.

Rae waited in the hallway, sat on the stairs and scrolling on social media, as the boys made themselves look less like sloths in human form, and more like four uni lads who had a week off and were about to spend the day at the beach. She couldn’t help herself, it wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last, but she opened Harry’s instagram page, the same photo he uploaded over a week ago of her with her juice after their shoot still the last upload. The comments still sounded the way a side smirk looked when she read them in her head, Harry’s reply still giving her butterflies.

Yet now she felt they were stupid and pointless. There was nothing to get butterflies over now. Harry was making it perfectly clear where she stood. He couldn’t even look at her as he passed her in the hallway, let alone anything else.

‘Bit vain isn’t it?’ Niall’s voice was full of humour as he squeezed past her and Rae shut the app the quickest she ever had.

‘Fuck off.’ Rae mumbled shoving her phone in her bag and waiting for the rest of her housemates to arrive in the hallway and pointedly ignoring Niall’s knowing look.

The drive was uneventful. It wasn’t a bad thing, obviously, but Rae would have preferred a journey filled with jokes and laughter, to keep her mind of the fact she was squashed in the middle seat between Louis and Liam, and the fact Harry wasn’t trying to catch her gaze in the rear view mirror the way he had done before. He didn’t even sing along when Niall started playing Disney songs, that they all knew, they all knew.

It riled her. She was aware it shouldn’t have done, but it did. The way Harry seemed to have taken a hundred steps back from where they’d been a week ago, without any warning, or, as far as Rae could see, rational reason why, made her tighten her jaw and take unprecedentedly deep breaths. It appeared he didn’t even want to try to get back to anything that even resembled what they had before the photoshoot, and when she thought about it that’s what annoyed her more. It annoyed her more, because she knew, she’d try over and over and over again if he needed, or wanted her to.

They stopped halfway to get BBQ supplies and fuel. Harry just about managed to mumble a thanks as Rae passed him some cash for petrol, and she could have sworn she felt her blood boil. She wanted to put it down to his anxiety and his struggles with opening up, but it felt like more than that, it didn’t feel like that was enough and the fear she might never get an explanation made her a little sharper with him than she might otherwise have been.

The beach was just how Rae had remembered it. The grass parking the same as well. Last time she’d been there, she’d been about ten, she guessed. Jonah took her out on the water on the surfboard he’d bought himself and Essie had been too engrossed in her recently discovered fascination with the male species and her mobile phone to take any notice of her younger sister or older brother. Rae remembered it as a great day, but she’d blurred out the biggest fight her and Essie had ever had, or the way the picnic got destroyed by sand and how her mum had blamed it on her dad and it had all led to a car journey home where the only people talking were her and Jonah.

Rae chuckled to herself as she wandered through the track in between the pastel coloured beach huts, her rucksack hanging from one arm as she led the way. The tide was in, waves small compared to what she’d seen since but exciting enough to form a tingle in the pit of her stomach. She upped her pace, trying to find somewhere suitable to drop her bag and make camp. There weren’t many other people around, she was quietly grateful for that, crowded beaches were never fun.

Finally, she dropped her bag in a little cove of sand dunes, pulling her dress over her head before she even had a second to think. She missed the wide eyed boys around her as she dropped the blue fabric over her bag before turning to them.

‘You coming?’ None of them really responded, but Rae began walking towards the water nonetheless. It had been nearly a year since she’d been in the sea and her body and mind was craving it more and more as she got closer.

There was nothing like the sea for Rae. Nothing came close. Her guitar was great, her home was good too, but the sea was the most peaceful, restoring place she’d ever known and she ached for it. As the tide licked at her feet the feeling was instantaneous. She wandered into the waves diving under one once she was deep enough, the thrill of being pushed down by it as it broke as addictive as it had ever been. The first time it had scared her, but now she longed for it.

‘Is it cold?’ She heard a shout behind her as she surfaced. Rae pushed her hair, now soaking and sticking together with the salt, back from her face and turned. It was hard not to be disappointed when it wasn’t Harry, but she grinned at Louis and Niall nonetheless.

‘A bit.’ She lied, because it was freezing. Rae laughed as Niall took strides into it, visibly holding his breath as the icy water hit him.

‘More than a bit Rae.’ Niall scaled with a creased brow to match his tone. Rae just giggled waiting for him to join her, Louis following behind just as tentatively his hand lifted above the surface to avoid the cold.

‘Put your hands under or your body won’t adjust as quickly.’ Rae told Louis, lowering herself so her chin rested on the water. ‘I swear.’ Rae promised as Louis looked at her unconvinced.

‘You're nuts, you are.’ Louis reprimanded and Rae just chuckled, leading the way deeper.

The three of them spent a good twenty minutes playing in the waves. Somersaulting under them as they approached and diving through them, Rae matching the two boys with every challenge they threw her way. The water didn’t scare her. She was fully aware of how powerful and dangerous it could be, but if you knew your way around it and didn’t get complacent about it, there was no reason to be afraid. Rae knew when it was time to call it a day, what to look for in the water to avoid, when it was too unpredictable, too rippy. After getting caught in a rip her first weekend in Australia, she’d made sure she got to understand the water and the way it moved a lot better, and she definitely did now.

‘I’m getting cold.’ Rae grumbled as she began to float back towards the shore away from Niall and Louis.

‘Thank god for that, thought you were gonna be in here all day for a minute.’ Niall chuckled following Rae out of the water, Louis doing the same.

The sun on her skin, sparkling with seawater droplets, felt amazing, as she padded across the sand towards the dunes were Harry and Liam were laid out sunning their bare backs. Rae got tingles at the thought of it. Harry’s back had always done things to her, ever since the pipe burst in her bedroom and she’d seen every muscle of his back twinge under his t-shirt. However, she couldn’t help but feel she shouldn’t be playing house with those thoughts now as she flicked her eyes over his decorated, golden skin.

‘Ey they’re back.’ Liam called, joyfully, sitting up at the sound of their chat. Harry lifted his head and twisted it to look at his three housemates approaching. Rae smiled, as his eyes caught hers for the first time in a long time, but he looked away, probably before he even saw the grin but definitely before he even considered smiling back.

Inside Harry was dying. He felt nauseous near enough constantly. His stomach was tumbling inside him on a never ending loop. When Rae was around he feared she’d bring up his predicament on the couch, when she wasn’t around he feared she was laughing behind his back. Somewhere deep down he knew neither of them were even close to reality, but in this situation the anxious part of his mind over powered the realistic part and it made it hard for him to even meet her eye.

Especially when she was walking around looking like that. Never in his wildest dreams did Harry think he’d see Rae walking around, so confidently, in so little. It didn’t seem to faze her at all, though it was a little more than fazing him and it made what was stirring inside him a lot harder to deal with. The way the curve of her waist flowed into the ample curve of her hip had him swallowing down on nothing, and he had to look away when she bent to grab her towel from the floor. But even with the Winnie the Pooh beach towel wrapped over her like a cape he found it hard not to let his eyes trail over to her and linger.

‘So what about a game of football?’ Liam suggested pushing himself to his feet and grabbing the football that he’d been resting his head on. ‘Niall, me and Rae versus Harry and Louis?’

‘Sounds fair.’ Niall grinned, dropping his towel after drying himself off roughly.

‘Oh trust me Ni, we have got the advantage.’ Rae jested, pointing at herself, eliciting laughter from all the boys even Harry, though he looked at his feet as he chuckled and got up from where he was laid.

‘We’re not going to go easy on you, are we Haz?’ Louis jested, looking to Harry. Harry was daydreaming, getting lost in his thoughts, anxious, negative thoughts, all black and full of cloud, like a grey rainy sky had made home in his head despite the bright blue summer’s day he should have been enjoying. Louis pulled him from his head though, his eyes widening and his mouth falling as he zoned back in. He could feel Rae staring at him, he imagined her eyes narrowed, trying to hold back a laugh, maybe tongue resting on her teeth or maybe features riddled by disgust.

‘I didn’t ask you to.’ Rae bit, before Harry could say anything, finding herself getting frustrated with him as he couldn’t even seem to find it in himself to laugh along with Louis’ joke.

The group split off as Liam had suggested and Rae stood with her hands on her hips facing her opponents, but eyes locked on Harry who was kicking at the sand as Louis and Niall faced off in the centre to kick off the ‘all for fun’ game. Rae couldn’t put her finger on why, but suddenly things that up until now she’d found endearing about Harry were frustrating her. The way he looked down at his toes and curled them, the way he reached for his fingers and sleeves that weren’t there, the way he rubbed his lips together or pulled at the bottom one as he tried to think of what he wanted to say or how to say it.

Maybe it was because, though they were still there, they’d been more like forces of habit in the last few weeks with her. Now it seemed they were back to what they were in the beginning, little shields for Harry, and they replaced the soft way he talked and the gentle way he looked at her when she responded and the way he reached for her hand or let her settle against him. Now the endearing little ticks were annoying little enemies keeping her from her Harry.

Rae tried to remember everything she’d ever taken in about the skill of football. Most of it seemed common sense and she definitely seemed to hold her own against the four boys she knew spent a fair amount of time practicing their skills. She managed to take the ball from both Harry and Louis at least twice, and didn’t even consider holding back in the tackles. The sputtering, surprise filled, huff of a laugh Harry let out as Rae took the ball off him for the first time told her he wasn’t expecting her to be any good. Rae had to bite back a smug grin at the sound of it.

Harry found his jaw was aching the longer the game went on. He didn’t really realise he was doing it, but he was biting down hard on nothing, he didn’t really know why and it certainly didn’t make him feel any better. Even so he ground his back teeth against one another when Rae ran to Niall after scoring and he lifted her off the ground spinning her in circles. Harry was jealous. He should have, could have, been the one doing that. There was an urge to tell Niall to put her down, but the urge would never run strong enough to make him actually do it.

The football game ended with Louis and Harry winning by four to two. Louis didn’t drop it for the whole afternoon, but Harry didn’t say a word. Rae decided not to congratulate him on his hat trick. It was petty and she was bitter, she knew that, Harry probably knew that, but she couldn’t see how it was any different to how Harry was being with her.

The afternoon rolled around into evening. The setting sun cast an unearthly, orange glow over the water that was becoming silent and still as night time drew closer. The golden hour lit all of them up perfectly, their skin all beautifully golden and their eyes glistening with the dying light. Rae didn’t regret not bringing her camera but she couldn’t help but think what wonderful photos she could have taken of each of her house mates.

‘I’m hungry.’ Niall grumbled clutching his stomach that hadn’t been filled since breakfast. Rae chuckled, turning her head over her shoulder to him. She had her arms wrapped around her legs, curled up in a small ball to keep herself warm. Harry sighed silently to himself, kicking himself internally, cursing himself for all the things he was scared to say.

‘I’ll go grab the food.’ Harry announced standing, dusting himself free of the sand that had stuck to him after he’d ventured down to the water.

‘I’ll come with you.’ Rae said suddenly, surprising even herself. She didn’t know where it came from, but it looked like she was going to help Harry get the food and BBQ from his car.

Rae followed two steps behind Harry, back through the beach houses towards the green and the car. Most people had left once the evening started to draw in, and the cold breeze with it, but not the residents of Number 6 Lansdowne Road. They were determined to make a day of it, and they weren’t quite done yet.

Rae offered to help Harry with the bags of food and the BBQ in hope that some time, just the two of them, would be what he needed to talk to her. A whole day had passed and he’d looked at her maybe twice, but never returned a smile and only uttered routine courtesies to her. It was more than she’d had over the past week, admittedly, but it wasn’t enough for Rae, and as they got closer to the car and she was still mimicking his silence, trying to play him at his own game, she wondered if there was anything she could give to Harry to make it go back to normal.

The goosebumps on her skin were getting more visible as they continued to be exposed to the air. She refused to put her dress on, her bikini still a little damp and not wanting to make any more clothes wet. Of course, she didn’t think Harry had even noticed she was in a bikini let alone that she was cold, but he had, on both counts.

‘Here.’ He offered, handing her a shirt he’d shoved into the boot before leaving the house.

‘It’ll get wet.’ Rae mumbled, dully just grabbing a bag from the boot and waiting for Harry to do the same.

‘I don’t care, put it on, you’ve got goosebumps.’ Harry pointed out, motioning to her pebbled skin. The forceful undertone of his words grated at her skin, an hour ago he was ignoring her now he was forcing her to put clothes on. She felt like she didn’t know if she was coming or going.

‘Thanks.’ Rae muttered putting the bag down to pull on the shirt as Harry grabbed the remaining bag, holding the disposable BBQ’s and tongs, from the boot. Rae didn’t know what else to say, she suddenly felt like she was standing in front of someone she hardly knew and she froze up with it.

‘You’re quiet.’ Harry pointed out, closing the boot as he did so.

‘Don’t know what to say.’ Rae shrugged, looking back towards the beach.

‘Why’s that?’ Harry asked, not making any move to walk away. Rae could feel his eyes on her for the first time in a while and she burned under them like she never had before. She snapped her head to him though, narrowing her eyes, unreasonably angry that he’d even had to ask what could be making her feel like she was lost for words around him.

‘I dunno, maybe cause you’ve been ignoring me for days.’ Rae admitted, finally having had enough, and feeling the last straw had just been broken. She was patient and soft and gentle, but Harry was pushing her to her limits. He said nothing, just turned back to the bags at his feet which only frustrated Rae more. ‘Right ok still doing it then.’ Rae bit, annoyingly to herself, losing her temper a little too easily. ‘What the fuck is wrong with you? What have I done that’s made you hate me so much?’

‘Whoa I don’t hate you.’ Harry retaliated quickly, brows dipped and clearly offended she could even think that.

‘Are you sure cause it’s beginning to look like you might.’ Rae pointed out, thinking back to how avoidant he’d been over the last few days, to the point that when she walked into a room he’d walk straight out. ‘You couldn’t even look at me this morning.’ She carried on, fighting the urge to scream at him and shake him. ‘What’s changed?’ Harry didn’t say anything, just looked back down at his feet. In the heat of the moment Rae forgot about his anxious tendencies and just got more riled up by how he was skirting around what was happening, or not happening.

‘Are you actually joking? You’re really not gonna explain to me how we’ve gone from cuddling on the couch to not saying a word to each other in the space of about a week.’ Rae practically hissed, she could hear how venomous her words her, she could hear how damaging they could be, but his lack of response or retaliation only made it worse. ‘You promised me you’d talk to me and now all you can do is look at the ground and ignore what I’m saying.’ Rae bit. Her voice threatened to wobble, she was frustrated and angry but she was upset. She’d lost enough in the past to know how it felt, and this felt all too similar. It felt like a lot of fighting for nothing in return. ‘Harry for fucks sake what is wrong with you?’ Her voice rose, and it seemed to jog Harry into life. He looked up to her his eyes soft and begging, begging her to remember everything he’d told her, all the ways he’d opened up and all the things she knew that no one else did.

‘I can’t.’ He whispered, eyes narrowing.

‘You can’t?’ Rae laughed. ‘Well next time it would be really great if you decided ‘you can’t’ before you kiss me in New York and give me a vintage camera and ask me to tell you about my fucking dead brother.’ Harry could tell she was getting upset, he could hear the tremor in her voice as she listed all the things he’d done for her. When she put it like that, how could he not feel guilty? When she listed to him how far he’d gone for her he hated himself too.

‘I’m sorry, I’m-it’s complicated.’ Harry tried to explain, but as always his mind was running too fast to focus and his stomach was knotting and he felt nauseous and shaky, and the right words got lost in the folds of it. Harry knew she knew that, but he couldn’t expect her to remember when she was clearly so hurt.

‘Fuck that, that’s bullshit, it’s literally the most simple thing.’ Rae spat, finally at her wits end with trying to understand. She just wanted something more. Something that told her he understood, and she wasn’t a fool but he just couldn’t do it right now. Instead she got ‘it’s complicated’ and it felt a lot like ‘you’re an idiot’. ‘You know what forget it, I can’t even be bothered anymore.’

Harry watched Rae walk away. The shirt of his he’d given to her fell down to the back of her mid thigh and hid her body completely, but Harry could tell from the way she hung her head, the way her eyes had glistened with her last words, and the shake in her voice that she was talking herself down from crying. It would have stung anyway, but it stabbed because he knew she was in that way because of him. Subliminally he’d promised her so much, but he’d left her with nothing but silence and even he couldn’t work out why he’d done that.

Nothing made that ok. No anxiety or fear made having Rae look at him like he’d let her down easy to deal with. Nothing could embarrass him enough to convince him that he’d done the right thing. He felt selfish and stupid and he couldn’t think of anything that would make it better.

Harry followed Rae with a sigh and the other bag. When he got back onto the beach Rae was lighting the BBQ with the help of Niall and she didn’t even look up when Harry knelt down opposite her. They moved around each other like they couldn’t see or hear each other. Everyone else must have been able to sense it because it was thick like fog in the air, but no one said a thing. Louis kept the mood light and Niall kept conversation flowing as Liam dished out food.

They ate and Rae joined in with chat, Harry nodding along but not really taking anything in. His eyes were locked, only, on Rae, he didn’t think to look at anything else. He hoped, prayed, and begged silently for Rae to look at him so she might see just how sorry he was. But she never looked and he knew he had to tell her, try to explain.

It was completely different tidying up after themselves and all walking back to the car. The lightness of the morning and the drive down had disappeared with the sun. Rae could feel it heavy on her shoulders and it consumed her mind so that she found herself laughing along to jokes she hadn’t heard and looking at blank faces that were awaiting a response she couldn’t give.

Back at the car, Niall was quick to hop in the back, taking the seat Rae had occupied on the drive down. Rae didn’t know if Niall thought he was doing someone a favour or if he just didn’t want to sit in the front, but either way she could have killed him. Rae sat in the front seat, but angled her body from Harry. She wasn’t angry at him anymore but she did feel sad and like she wanted him to know that. Being the passenger she got control of the music and there was only one album she wanted to listen to, for more than one reason. Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours filled the car and she didn’t need to glance at Harry to know his reaction.

The drive back was silent compared to the drive there. Rae sung and hummed along and she could hear Harry tapping the steering wheel, but he didn’t open his mouth to sing once, the way he did when he played the album up in his room when they’d worked on their respective projects a couple of times. Rae knew not to react to Harry singing and she wouldn’t have done if he’d have done so in the car then, but she hoped the familiar album that had become a bit like their soundtrack to time alone together might summon something more from him than tapping along to the beat.

Back at the house the same pointed silence lingered around. They all carried things from the car to the house and unpacked things in the kitchen, but the chat was mundane politeness so that they could all pretend there wasn’t an awkwardness that none of them really understood, even the ones who had caused it. Rae excused herself with tiredness and took herself up stairs to flop on her bed and stare at her phone.

The kitchen emptied, and Harry found himself alone. He stared at the kettle, he knew what he had to do.

A boiled kettle, and a quick brew later Harry was taking the steps to the first floor of the house, two mugs in hand and an apology and explanation planned. Of course his stomach was tumbling with nerves and his hands were shaking a little with it too, but he knew he had to do it. The memory of Rae’s disappointed features and doey, upset eyes, brimming with tears she wouldn’t let him see, was enough to override the anxiety.

Stood outside her bedroom door, Harry psyched himself up to knock. It was as he lowered one mug to the floor so he could do so, that he heard her begin to talk. The voice that replied told him she was on facetime and it sounded like her sister. For seconds, Harry considered ignoring it and knocking nonetheless, but based on how she’d been with him earlier, there was no way Rae would put down the phone to her sister to listen to what he had to say.

Harry lifted himself back up, but he felt his heart sink. There was something telling him it was now or never, but now didn’t seem like an option so he guessed it was never. He felt sick for a different reason than he had walking up the stairs. A week ago he was high on the feeling that what was burning inside him was mutual. A week ago anxiety was becoming a mild concern of Harry’s. Now it was back to being something that defined him, it had ruined something he was sure could have been great. He could only blame himself and it made his eyes sting and his throat ache as it clenched around nothing.

With a shaky deep breath Harry turned from the door and took the stairs to his room, both mugs still in his hand. He didn’t drink black tea, so it would go cold on his desk and stay there until a time when he could take it downstairs and no one would ask about the mug of cold black tea. Of course no one would ever ask, but he didn’t want to have to fluster over an excuse if they did.

I’m sorry guys! Please don’t hate me, but it can’t always be sunshine and rainbows. You’d snap as well right? I hope you like it nonetheless and looking forward to answering questions and messages about this one!

Just remember we’re not at the end yet, ok?

Thanks for all the love on all the chapters so far I really have loved every message I’ve had about this fic and love chatting with you guys about it. I really appreciate all of it.

My baes @harrysmeadow and @cuddlemusclestyles as always are incredible and I love them dearly!

Enjoy xx

#wooo #world of our own #harry styles #harry styles fan fic #harry styles ff #harry styles uni au #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #1dff #ask box open

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