#at least early on and ESPECIALLY to ilia. like. besties

[uncaught-coolfish]

how much do you think that adam is up for hanging out with other people? in your opinion. what do you think his ideals are in friendships or relationships in general? etc?

i will not lie his ass is so cringefail loser when it comes to basic interactions, esp during the fic’s chapters 4-5… mainly because he is just dead silent 80% of the time. he asked for no pickles but eventually he does get better.

going a lil off the rails, i do definitely think he values not only how he is seen by others but also how he sees himself (as I say, writing him lol). due to *uhhhhh. the horrors* he is consistently altering things about himself in order to build this completely different self, a self more confident and powerful and in his eyes “suitable” to be deserving of the basic decency of. well, honestly anything. feeling it is something that requires him to prove himself in every moment he can. hell adam does this probably the most with sienna, who in the fic is easily the one character he trusts the most (for the good while, she’s the only one who knows what his face looks like.)

but even still he can never be “genuine”. never be honest to anyone out of fear it will hurt him again. my little fucking loser.

but i also. idk. i’ve been giving him like silly big bro vibes and it’s kind of stuck.