#avatardepression

[rayassecretlife]

Listen before I go

Pairing: 16 year old!Neteyam Sully x Fem!Metkayina!Reader

This is part 4 of the series! Read part 1, Part 2 and part 3 before reading this.

Summary: it’s been months since you’ve arrived in the forest and joined its clan, and for the most part you enjoyed it—but your home was calling to you. The reef had a place in your heart only it could fill, and it was time you started thinking about your return home, but you had to do it without hurting the only boy you’ve ever truly loved, you had to leave Neteyam behind.

Warning(s): Mature Language, nothing really else. This chapter is a fluff :))

Freedom was all you could think about whenever you thought of pandora’s forest and its beautiful sights that laid within it. From the soft sounds of wind blowing the trees, to the crows and calls from the Ikran’s that flew above, you loved waking up to it everyday.

The past few months youd been in the forest, you spent your time learning and bettering yourself each day. The sully family grew to love you, and would often invite you over for dinner to which you’d always happily accept. It didn’t take long for Jake and Neytiri to be very fond of you, you were an amazing fighter and healer, yet you spent most of your days helping the children.

Lo’ak had grown to be like a little brother to you, one of your bestest friends from the start. You both were troublemakers at their finest together, sneaking off to do stupid things just to get yelled at later on by Jake. Your favorite thing was sparring, watching how Lo’ak always thought he could beat you when everyone knew he couldn’t. He gave you a run for your money, though.

The more you hung out with him, the more you realized how great he truly was. Lo’ak was a kind soul and you could tell nobody saw that, nobody truly saw him in the way he needed to be seen.

Kiri had been keeping you on her watch ever since you arrived. Trust in Eywa, she didn’t know the reason she felt so protective over you, but she just knew she had to keep you safe. Kiri was the second closest person to you in the forest, you’d tell her about many things from the sea, and explain how much you missed it all sometimes. She’d always listen. Kiri is the one who truly introduced you to mo’at, the one who taught you the ways of healing. You were a natural, and you were sure that’s why mo’at loved you so much.

Tuk was a beam of light even under a dark sky. She was the sun, truly. A light anyone would bask in and love, a gentle soul with the kindest heart. The way she grabbed your hand when she first met you and welcomed you to their clan with open arms, she had reminded you of your sister.

Tuk truly was your best friend in many aspects. You felt so overprotective over her at times, like she had been your own child or family. You’d comfort her after crying or she’d do the same to you, telling you she wouldn’t leave until you smiled. She was so bright and smart, a copy of Neytiri.

Then there was Neteyam.

When you first met Neteyam, you thought of him as one of those cocky chief son’s just like Ao’nung, or as someone who would stop at nothing just to humiliate you. You were right about all of it, but even though he was all those things, he was also so much different when you got to know him.

He was kind, sweet with his words. It was as if a poem slipped from his lips each time.

“Do you think this looks stupid?” You ask shyly, standing with your arms crossed across your stomach when you enter the room. Neteyam was weaving a new cover for Tuk when you called, but he of course looked up once you spoke.

You watch as his eyes scan every small detail of your clothing, and how he’d never seen you like this before. His face was unreadable almost and that scared you, afraid he would tell you it did look stupid and you made the wrong choice.

But he didn’t.

“Y/N, I— you look…” Neteyam is already stood to his feet before you can notice, and your now able to see how his hair tied back, his large hand reaching down to pull your hair over your shoulder to see it.

“Like a mess?” You laugh nervously, but his eyes are stuck on you like there was nothing more to look at—as if you were the only person he could think of. The boy shakes his head with a small chuckle, tangling your braid between his fingers.

“Beautiful” His words are barely above a whisper when he lets them fall, and his hand brushes your arm on its way back to his side, allowing the touch to linger on your skin. “I like it. I like it a lot, Peach” Between the eye contact and the feeling against your arm, you couldn’t help but bite your bottom lip to conceal your smile. He knew exactly what to say, you hated it.

You hated him at first but as time went on, you learned to fall for the forest boy, and you fell pretty hard.

“Are you flirting with me, Mr. Sully?”

“You make it so easy. How could I not?” A bit of shyness instantly shifts in you when Neteyam’s big yellow’s dart to your own, full of challenge that you didn’t want to take him up on. Your eyes tear from his with a small push to his chest, laughing when he stumbles back to hide your nerves.

“Not funny” In this moment, you should’ve known he wasn’t joking—but you’d find that out sooner or later, right? Because to you, it wasn’t real. Neteyam didn’t feel anything for you and you didn’t feel for him, this was just stupid tension.

Right?

Neteyam’s hands were gentle against your skin when he would clean your wounds, or when he’d braid your long hair when you couldn’t. His spirit was gentle, you could feel him even when he wasn’t touching you.

There’d be a lot of times where Neteyam had to stay with you because you’d trash yourself at celebrations, downing alcohol like it was just water. You didn’t do it for fun, but the memories you were getting of home started to become far too much and you just couldn’t handle it anymore.

He’d spend hours holding your hair back when you threw up, whispering comforting words in your ear and wiping every tear you shed.

“I’m so sorry, Teyam I… I didn’t…” Your sobbing over the bucket he handed you moments ago, apologizing as soon as all the liquor in your body starts to leave. The boy shushes you with a gentle hand to your back and against your hair, soothing you with his touch the best he could.

Neteyam chuckles at your drunken words, running the soft pad of his thumb over your cheek to wipe your tears. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you”

You always struggled to figure him out. Neteyam was very closed off but also very open which made no sense to you but it was the exact same for him with you. The two of you spent your time together joking about flirting while you watched the stars at night, or making food when Neteyam would spend the night at your hut to watch over you after you got hurt.

And the two of you wouldn’t have it any other way

“Y/N, Y/N!” Tuk’s little voice chirps when she runs into your hut, stopping before she could hit you with how fast she had been going. You turn to her abruptly while still placing a hair clip against your braids, a laugh surfacing once you realized who followed close behind her with a scolding look. “Are you almost ready? Mama wanted me to bring you to our cave for-“

“Holy shit, she’s fast!” Lo’ak gasps when he holds his chest, causing you to burst out laughing. He looked drained almost, like Tuk had ran him around all of pandora. “It’s not funny! My mom told her to let me go-“

“Your hair looks so cute, Tuk! Are you stealing the show for eclipse?” Your lips turn into a smile when you pick her up, her giggles echoing through your cave as she sat on your hip, holding your hair so you could clip it. “Where’s Neteyam?” You ask the younger brother when he sits on the chair in your room, slouching in his seat with a huff.

“Helping my parents set up. The whole clan is excited for some odd reason” You’ll admit, the clan was merely excited for the eclipse celebration because of Neteyam. He was 16, soon to be 17 and would soon have to find a mate, he had already completed his rite of passage.

“Does he have anyone in mind for the courting?” You ask lowly, a small bit of hesitation in your voice and Lo’ak notices quickly what you had been inching towards.

“Do you?” The question makes your heart drop, and you can’t help but clear your throat to hide the cough threatening to surface. Lo’ak laughs and shakes his head when Tuk gives him a scolding look, like she wanted to punch him. “He says he hasn’t, but he seems unsure” you’re done with your hair once he finishes and you set Tuk back on the ground before grabbing your stuff. You reach down to grab onto your top for later, but your old loincloth slips off the table, falling onto the floor.

Then you saw the stone that connected to its middle—a stone your mother gave to you when you completed your right of passage. You remembered her face when she gave it to you that day, and how happy your family had been for you when you picked it up in your hands. It felt warm, and the memories of how you got it slowly start to fog your mind.

But they didn’t last long due to the whining behind you and the pull on your leg. “Come on, Y/N! It’s almost time!” You nod your head and place the loincloth back in its basket, shaking off the feeling that weighed on your shoulders. You could think about that later, tonight was Neteyam’s night and you didn’t want to ruin it.

“There you are! I was starting to think Lo’ak drove you away” Neytiri says, finally able to greet you after a good half an hour of waiting. You enter the room where she’s just now finishing Neteyam’s hair, and the boy wastes no time in looking up at you. Though, Neytiri flicked the back of his neck to which made him turn away with a hiss. “I thought I told you not to move!”

You giggled. “Gotta have your hair perfect for your day, right?” You set your bow down before moving to sit in front of him, his eyes softening once he caught glimpse of you. “I grabbed some fruit for the party. Your favorites” Neytiri watches the two of you closely while braiding his hair, a small smile threatening to pull at her lips. Neteyam thanks you with a chuckle, and continues to take in the way you looked all dolled up for the party.

Your hair was braided into your traditional Fulani style, one you would see mostly in the metkayina, gold charms all throughout its strands. Your outfit was covered but the mesh allowed him to see through, and you couldn’t help but go flush at the thought of his eyes against your skin.

“Neytiri, I need you to help out here!” Jake calls with frustration which ultimately frustrates her, glaring at you and Neteyam as you laugh.

“I can finish his hair. You go help the big baby outside” Neytiri gives you a small smile before rolling her eyes at her mates continuous calls, standing to leave the cave and the two of you alone.

You move to sit behind the village Prince, allowing him to lean comfortably between your legs. His hair was already half way done, a part of his song cord hanging from one of his braids. “Does it look alright? My mother, she likes to be traditional and all but-“

“I like it, and I think you should stop questioning your mothers abilities” Neteyam chuckles along with you. You could tell he was on edge slightly when you walked in, but now that his mother was gone, he became somewhat relieved. “Are you excited?” You ask the boy, replenishing the braid his mother had let go of just seconds ago. He sighs with a shrug, and you watch as he tugs at the strings of his loincloth, slouching under you. “Wanna talk about it?” It was clear he wanted to talk to you but with everyone around he wouldn’t and you knew that. You knew how he was when it came to speaking his mind around his family.

“I just wish this was a normal eclipse” His words are soft under his breath when he responds, and you sigh, releasing his braid that you had just finished. You glance around you to realize Lo’ak was gone and they had all been outside helping, to which leads you to allow your voice to grow somewhat loud.

“I know” Your hands move to his shoulders, rubbing them gently. You felt his muscles tense when you touched him, but his eyes were shut in an attempt to make it better. He enjoyed your touch against his skin—your massages you would give him whenever he was stressed, but he couldn’t help thinking about what was to come tonight.

The courtship agreement his father had set in place.

His heart tore in two when you asked what was wrong. You had no idea. You had no idea his father had arranged him to mate with another, and he hated himself for keeping it from you for so long. Truth is, Neteyam had been avoiding you the best he could the past week. He couldn’t look at you when he was lying to you—when he was breaking down over the simple fact you weren’t the one his father courted him to.

Because he loved you.

And your truth, had felt almost worse than his own.

The truth that you missed your home, that you missed your family and the village. The scorching truth that you wanted to go home tonight after eclipse.

You wanted to spend every second you could with him until you left. You didn’t want him to remember you as the girl who left, you needed him to realize how much you cared for him—how much you wanted this for him.

“Y/N, I-“

“I don’t expect you to explain anything to me, Tey. I’m here when you need me” Great mother you made it so hard. You were so understanding, so gentle with your words and hands against his skin. Those were all things he wasn’t, and he loved that about you. Sometimes he wishes you’d just abandon him so he’d have a reason to hate you, but he knew he couldn’t. Neteyam’s stomach turns when you glide your hands down to massage his arms, the exact area that always hurt him the most. “You’re so tense. Lighten up a bit, it’s just me”

Yeah, just you.

“Have you ever thought about what it’ll be like when we’re older?” Your forehead creases at his words but you continue to rub circles against his skin, questioning what he could’ve meant. “Like when we have mates and… and we’re not close anymore?” You frown.

“What’s up with you? Are you sure you don’t want to talk? You just… you seem like a lot is on your mind” And there was. You were on his mind, and the fact he didn’t know how to tell you.

“We have some time before the party… maybe we could go flying?” He turns his head with the question and you look at him as if he had two heads. Was he crazy? His parents would murder you both.

“But your parents-“

“Come on, when have you ever turned down sneaking away?” You sigh as he stands to his feet, swinging his now finished braids to get a new feel for them. You didn’t know, his parents were so close and knowing them, neteyam was most likely supposed to greet people tonight—but he didn’t care.

He places his hand out for you to take. “Just one ride? I won’t even go outside the border” Your eyes revert to the opening of the cave, ears perked at the sound of Jake’s voice outside of it, wondering how bad it really would’ve been if you had left for only an hour. You give the boy a defeated look before taking his hand, allowing him to pull you up with him.

“Neteyam, slow down!” You laugh, holding onto his Ikran harder when he banked sideways. His grasp against your body is firm and protective, but his laughs only make your heart feel at ease, even when you’re scared.

“We’re almost there” He reassures, making your forehead crease. Where was he taking you? You were sure this was only a flying trip.

Soon enough, he lands his Ikran on a large branch, slipping off before you did so he could guide you down. It wasn’t until you looked behind him, when you realize where you were.

“Our old hut!” You exclaim excitedly, leaping past the boy to enter. Neteyam chuckles at your demeanor as you look around with huge eyes, admiring how it still glowed even after all this time. When you first got here, neteyam and you had made this abandoned hut your own place to relax. No one knew it was there except for you two, and that’s exactly why you loved it so much. “Look, it still has the loom we made”

Neteyam watches you with his eyes soft and a small smile, leaning against the wall to admire you. You loved this house for its memories, but everytime Neteyam saw it, he couldn’t think of anything but the future.

He wanted to walk in here every morning and night, listening for your calls to him when you needed him. He wanted to hear the small pats of your children’s feet on its wood floor, and smell the food you’d make for him when he worked late. Sure, you were both still so young but he didn’t care. You were what he wanted, you were who he wanted to wake up next to now and forever more.

You notice his eyes on you and turn fully around to him, a smile plastered on your face when you walk to where he was. “Are you ready to talk to me now?” His face fell at your words which also made yours, taking in how you had ruined the mood he was in before. He moves to sit on the edge of the huts doors so his legs could hang, his braids slightly blowing from the wind in the trees.

You sit next to him, silent as a mouse as you waited for him to speak. You were afraid to push too hard—to annoy him? You didn’t know. He never acted this way around you.

“My father…” You look over at the boy when he begins, giving him your full attention as he speaks. He hesitates to finish his sentence and it doesn’t take you long to realize he’s playing with his fingers, scratching them until they left marks. “He uh… it’s—“

“Neteyam” You softly call his name, placing your small hand over his to stop the fidgeting. You could hear his voice barely crack at its peak here and there, he was trying so hard to hide it. “Take your time. I’m right here, remember?”

Neteyam pales when he looks away from you, staring down at his swinging feet under him. How was he meant to say this? How was he supposed to break that type of news to you…

“My father has assigned me an early courting” He finally spits out, squeezing his eyes shut for only a second before opening again. You on the other hand, you were at a loss for words. Assigning him a courting? That doesn’t even sound like Jake. “He promised me, Y/N. He promised he’d-“

“Hey, hey” It doesn’t take you long to realize the way his chin shook when he spoke and how his voice grew clogged, almost as if he couldn’t get anything out. You grab hold of the sides of his face firmly, turning it toward you. “It’s okay-“

“It’s not okay, Y/N. So much will change and I… I can’t lose you” Your heart breaks for him when he says those words, and all you could do was comfort him. Neteyam was a strong warrior but you knew him more than that. He never got to show his emotions, which is exactly why he was hiding from you now.

How was he supposed to hide them now? How was he supposed to hold back when your small hands are holding his face as if you loved him, sending waves of butterflies coursing through his stomach.

“Neteyam…” Your thumb brushed his cheek gently, your touch comforting him in only a few seconds. “It will be alright” You place your free hand against his chest, right above his heart to feel it beat. His heartbeat was strong and fast, his ears bent downwards when he closed his eyes and leaned against your touch.

It didn’t seem like a big deal outside of this conversation, and definitely not something to shed a tear over, but Neteyam truly didn’t want anything without you. Even if it meant giving up the Olo’Eyktan title, it didn’t matter.

It made him feel sick, thinking about courting some random woman other than the one he’s grown to love. It felt as though he wasn’t able to love anyone else—wasn’t allowed to smell another’s pheromones. Your sweet vanilla and coconut scent reminded him of the beach which he’d never been, and it made him wonder if he’d ever be able to see your home, maybe even go back with you.

He couldn’t return to the forest knowing what’s to come, he couldn’t bare to look at another woman in hopes of finding a mate. He needed to breathe your air, feel your emotions… he needed to be promised to you.

What a plot twist you were, Tanhì

“Tanhì” Neteyam mutters, laying his hands gently against your waist as he pulls away from your warmth. His words were soft and quiet under his breath, and the eyes he gave you once he pulled away make your heart skip a beat. He was far too handsome for his own good, but something about this tension meant much more than just tension. “I-“

“Ma’itan” The voice behind the two of you was far too familiar to ignore, it was stern with its words, almost sounding of frustration and anger. It was his father, Stood with his head held high in demand. Jake loved you, but right now you were a distraction from his sons celebration.

“Sir-“

“You know better than to leave when you are on duty” His fathers words clearly strike him as he releases your hips before standing to his feet, pulling you by your hands up with him. Jake’s eyes revert to your own, “Y/N, go help Mo’at and the others set up. Neteyam has work to do”

Neteyam’s hold on your hand made you hesitate on leaving, wanting to hear more of what he was going to say to you. Tanhì? Sure he called you that sometimes, but in that moment it almost felt like… maybe he wanted to kiss you?

You give Neteyam a small smile before nodding to his father, walking past him to leave the old hut. While it didn’t feel right leaving him there, what were you meant to do? Jake was your Olo’Eyktan, and his son was to be courted tonight.

You had to let him go.

Long time no see :)) found this is my notes and just had to post it! This was going to be a very long part 4 but instead I’ve extended the series to 7 parts! The celebration and her leaving will be in the next part ;)

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[rayassecretlife]

The fact the avatar fandom is disappearing again hurts my heart 🥲

[rayassecretlife]

Currently under huge writers block :/ I need so much help I have way too many opinions of my own 👩🏼‍🦽

I need mutuals on here so bad someone message me 👩🏼‍🦯