#awc23

[wreckerslula99]

#3: Running eyeliner

August writing challenge

Prompt 3: Running eyeliner

Word count: 5,503

CW: Sexual assault (non-consensual kissing & touching), victim blaming, rape culture?, sexualization, objectification, this happens to Ahsoka and she is a minor! (Around 16 in this)

SUMMARY: Ahsoka is on an undercover mission with Senator Padmé Amidala and Captain Rex, who is posing as Ahsoka's personal bodyguard. When Ahsoka meets a familiar face, things go great at first, but go downhill real fast.

NOTES: I suck at summaries and this is also 3 days late. Wrote most of this at my summer job again. Let me know your thoughts!

PLEASE TELL ME IF I MISSED ANY WARNINGS!

AO3 link

AWC23 - Masterlist

To say that Ahsoka felt out of place was the biggest understatement in the galaxy. Usually she was great at adapting to different situations, but she felt quite at a loss in the one she found herself now. The long, sky blue dress she was wearing went all the way down to the floor and felt rather constricting. It sat snugly around her upper body and flowed freely down from her waist. At the top of it were thick straps holding it up on her shoulders, and the cut of it was a square that exposed just a little bit of cleavage. Despite how unusual and slightly uncomfortable it was to wear, Ahsoka couldn’t deny that it was beautiful. There was a beautiful, vaguely floral pattern embroidered all over it in this shimmery, slightly brighter blue thread. Ahsoka couldn’t stop running her hands over the fabric. It felt expensive, and she had never worn anything like it. Padmé had borrowed it to her and had made Ahsoka sit down in a cushioned chair by a vanity to do her make-up. Another foreign sensation which she had never experienced before. 

Now she was wearing subtle eyeliner with mascara on her curled eyelashes, some lipstick and this shimmery powder on her cheekbones and nose, which Padmé had called ‘highlighter’. After that, Ahsoka watched Padmé do her own make-up, adding a few things like ‘foundation’ and ‘blush’ which she hadn’t put on Ahsoka. Hair was an odd thing, Ahsoka had thought as she watched Padmé comb hers, divide it and braid some parts of it before putting it all into a rather complicated up-do. Padmé then opened a box filled with jewelry and picked our pieces for Ahsoka and herself. Since Ahsoka didn’t have ears, she only wore a necklace. With some help putting it on from Padmé, Ahsoka couldn’t stop staring at herself in the mirror. The silver necklace had a sky blue jewel hanging from it, which beautifully matched the dress she was wearing. 

After that they had gotten dressed and then they left together with Padmé’s security detail and Rex, who had been assigned on Ahsoka’s mission with her. Which brought them to the fanciest restaurant they had ever seen, Padmé walking inside like she was used to it. Ahsoka looked around, eyes wide with wonder and curiosity. She quickly schooled her expression, remembering that she needed to look like she was used to this luxury. Her assignment was to pose as a good family friend of Padmé’s, who was interested in getting her system to become neutral and join the Council of Neutral Systems. Rex was there to pose as her personal bodyguard, though he didn’t need to pretend much to fill that role. The goal of the mission was to identify a Separatist mole who has been gathering Republic intel through the Council of Neutral Systems. 

Inside the restaurant were several senators, as the restaurant had been specifically rented out for the senatorial dinner. Padmé immediately spotted Duchess Satine and excused herself, going over to greet her. This left Ahsoka and Rex standing alone together like the odd ones out.

“Ahsoka?” A voice asked from behind her, and the Padawan turned around to face Lux Bonteri. 

“Bonteri?” She asks, surprised at his presence. 

“It’s been so long,” he smiled at her, stepping forward and sweeping her into a hug. 

Ahsoka froze, surprised at the sudden gesture and overwhelming bout of friendliness. She awkwardly stepped out of the hug, an unsure smile on her face, watching as his eyes trail over her. 

“What are you doing here?” She asks. 

“I could ask you the same,” Lux chuckles. “You know, I’m actually a senator.”

Ahsoka rolls her eyes, her smile slowly growing more confident. “Well, I’m sorry, Mr. Senator, but you weren’t the only one invited.”

“Would you like to sit together? I can give you some recommendations on the menu,” he asks with a grin on his face. 

“Sure,” Ahsoka shrugs, glancing at Rex to make sure he follows her. 

He nodded back at her and she shot Lux a smile before turning towards the large table in the middle of the restaurant. Ahsoka jumped slightly when a hand was suddenly placed on her lower back, giving her a gentle push forward as if to guide her to the right seats. The girl looked over at Lux, who simply smiled at her and continued leading her through the crowd. At first she thought the touch was a bit odd and slightly uncomfortable, but she reminded herself that she needed to keep up appearances and that it might be some fancy courtesy she has no idea about. 

“Here,” Lux says, reluctantly pulling his hand away in a way that made his fingers brush her waist and she held back a small shiver. 

He pulled out a chair at the table for her, waiting for her to sit down before pushing it back in and seating himself next to her. He unfolded the napkin that was placed on the table and put it in his lap, nudging Ahsoka slightly so she would copy him. The napkin was made of thick, stiff fabric and its edges had swirls embroidered on them, much like Ahsoka’s dress. 

“You look like you have no idea what you’re doing,” Lux notes teasingly. 

“I’ve never been in a place like this,” Ahsoka says quietly. “I’ve never worn a dress like this, or even make-up. This goes against pretty much everything I was taught growing up.”

“Well, I think it suits you,” Lux says and Ahsoka looks very taken aback at this. 

“Oh, uhm, thanks?” She says, mentally face-palming, wondering where her confidence went. “I’m mainly just here as Padmé’s chaperone.”

He seems to believe her lie, making her shoulders relax slightly. Lux glances back at Rex who was standing further away by the wall, his eyes roaming the room with a stoic expression on his face. 

“Who’s the big guy?” Lux asks and Ahsoka snorts, following his gaze back to Rex, who sends her a small nod upon noticing her eyes on him. 

“He is my personal bodyguard,” Ahsoka grins, turning back to Lux. “He’s here to keep me safe.”

“Good, since we both know you’re hardly capable of taking care of yourself, Jedi,” Lux joined her joke, though lowered his voice so that no one would overhear him call her a Jedi, which she was thankful for. 

Ahsoka chuckled, relaxing even more. She could do this, she just had to get through this dinner. And maybe it would even be fun with Lux at her side. He surely seems to have matured.

Dinner consisted of small portions of artistically arranged food that looked almost too pretty to eat. Since she’s a carnivore, she only ordered meat. Much to her surprise, there were several different sections in the menu for different species. Lux helped her find the togruta section and Ahsoka almost felt herself tear up a bit at the nostalgia of a few of the dishes and how their names were written in small togruti underneath the aurebesh. 

The food had been good, although she thought she distinctly remembered a few things tasting much better back on Shili. More specifically, the food her aga’meht made. 

After dinner, Ahsoka was about to head over to Padmé when Lux cleared his throat beside her. She looked at him, slightly raising an eyebrow marking. 

“I was wondering if you wanted to meet up later for a stroll in the royal park? It is quite beautiful,” Lux says, something shining in his eyes that Ahsoka can’t quite place. 

“Uhm, sure? I’ll just have to check with Senator Amidala,” she says. 

“Alright, well, let me give you my comm number so you can just comm me when you’re sure,” he smiles, taking her communicator from her hand and putting in his number. “There you go. I hope I get to see you later. It was nice to meet you again.”

“You too,” Ahsoka smiled and gets pulled in for another surprise hug. 

Lux’s arms snake around her waist, his hands resting on her lower back and pressing her closer to him. Ahsoka awkwardly pats his back and then steps away from the hug once again. 

“Well, I suppose I’ll see you later,” she automatically says before she can stop herself

She doesn’t miss the way his face lights up and quickly turns around to find Padmé. Spotting her chatting with Satine over by the entrance, she quickly makes her way over to them with Rex following her. 

“Oh, hello, Ahsoka,” the Duchess smiles as soon as she sees her. “It’s been some time, how you’ve grown!”

Ahsoka chuckles softly. “It has, but you, mz lady, haven’t aged a day.”

“Kids these days have such good manners,” Satine sighs to Padmé, who laughs in response. “I’ve got to go, but if there is another opportunity during the duration of your trip, I’d love to meet you again, Ahsoka.”

“I’d love that as well,” Ahsoka smiles kindly and Satine leaves. 

“You seem to have had a good time,” Padmé says from beside her and Ahsoka turns to see a knowing, almost mischievous smile on her face. 

“Yeah, I guess it wasn’t too boring after all,” Ahsoka shrugged as they exited the restaurant. 

“You and Bonteri seem to have gotten over your previous aversities to each other,” Padmé says casually. 

“It seems he grew up a bit,” Ahsoka said just as casually as Rex hailed them a taxi. “He wants to meet up in the royal park this evening.”

“Really?” Padmé raises an eyebrow at her before getting in the taxi, to which Rex was holding the door open for them. 

“Thanks, Rex,” Ahsoka says with a small smile as she gets in the taxi after Padmé. 

“Well? Are you going?” The Senator asks curiously. 

“I don’t know, should I?” Ahsoka fidgets with her hands in her lap. 

“Yes!” Padmé squeals. “Don’t tell Anakin I’m encouraging you, but I think it sounds nice! You can get to know each other a little.”

“I’m not sure, I mean, I do have a mission to see through,” Ahsoka chews slightly on the inside of her cheek. 

“Well, then think of it this way; Lux used to be a Separatist. Maybe he’s the mole,” Padmé said, a grin on her face. 

“Alright, alright, I’ll go,” Ahsoka pushes down the urge to roll her eyes. 

She pulls out her communicator and messages Lux, asking what time he wants to meet up and where. He answers quickly, telling her to meet him at 10:30 by the south entrance to the royal park. It was almost 10:20, so Padmé, who had been reading over Ahsoka’s shoulder, suggested they drop Ahsoka off there and walk back to the hotel, seeing as it was only one and a half clicks away from the park. Ahsoka didn’t know why, but she felt nervous. 

They drop her off at the gate to the park and as soon as she steps out of the taxi, she spots Lux already inside, waving to her. She turns around to close the door and is briefly interrupted by Padmé. 

“Have fun!” She grins and Ahsoka doesn’t answer, only closes the door. 

With sweaty palms, she walks over to the boy waiting for her. He comes up to meet her by the gate. 

“I’m so glad you could come,” he tells her and she smiles shyly at him. “Come on, this way.”

They start walking down one of the paths leading into the park. The sky was already pitch black, the only light coming from the tall lamps placed every few meters along the path. 

“I wanted to apologize,” Lux says all of a sudden and Ahsoka’s eyebrow markings shoot up from surprise. “For being a childish asshole when we first met. I’ve… grown up now. Realized a few things.”

“It’s alright, I forgive you,” Ahsoka says in a teasing voice, bumping her fist gently against his bicep. “I’m sorry about your mom. That can’t have been easy. She was a very nice woman.”

Ahsoka looks over at Lux to see a solemn look on his face. They had made it to a wooden bridge going over a small river and Lux stops, walking closer to the railing. The orange light from the lamps reflected beautifully onto the river and Ahsoka went up next to him to gaze down at it. Not even paying attention to how close they’re standing to each other, the Padawan leans her forearms onto the railing. Lux is staring at her from the side, but she’s still focused on the calm water beneath them.

“What about your parents?” He breaks the silence.

“Well, Force-sensitives leave their families when they’re only toddlers to join the Jedi Order and receive training,” Ahsoka explains. “I remember flashes of my parents, of my homeplanet, of the food and culture there, and our village. My parents are both dead, and I’ve made my peace with that.”

She turns her head to look at him, careful not to show any emotion on her face. Which didn’t work when Lux suddenly moves forward and presses his lips onto hers. 

Ahsoka is thrown slightly off balance from the force of it, and his hand comes up to cup her face while the other makes contact with her waist, running down to rest on her hip and pull her in closer. The young togruta’s eyes widen as her brain slowly registers what’s happening and her limbs unfreeze. Putting her hands up to his chest, she tries to push him off of herself, but he backs her into the railing, as if he doesn’t notice that she doesn’t want this. His hand is caressing her hip, rubbing along the side of her upper thigh and Ahsoka curses the dress for being so kriffing impossible to move in. To kick someone off of yourself. She tries to say something but he keeps kissing her, using her attempt at opening her mouth to speak to slip his tongue past her lips and into her mouth. 

When the hand on her cheek runs down her neck, down her collarbone and grazes the top of her breasts while the other hand moves to squeeze her behind, Ahsoka finally fully snaps out of the shock paralyzing her limbs and bites down hard on Lux’s lip. 

“Ow! What the kriff is wrong with you?!” He exclaims angrily, stumbling back and holding his hand up to his bleeding lip. 

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you!” Ahsoka yells back, tears burning in her eyes, her face growing hot. 

“What do you mean ‘what’s wrong with me’?” Lux asks angrily, pulling out a handkerchief to dab at his bleeding lip while Ahsoka feels her breathing speed up and tears close to spilling. 

“You just kissed me!” Is all she can say, even though he did a little more than just kiss her.

“And? Ahsoka, did you seriously think I invited you out with me tonight because I just wanted to talk?” He scoffs in disbelief. 

“What else?!” She yells, voice reaching a few almost hysterical notes 

In return, he only stares at her like she’s stupid. She feels pretty stupid right about now. 

“Ahsoka, please don’t tell me you’re that dumb,” he spits out, still holding his handkerchief to his lip. “Just- ugh, why did you bite me?! That kriffing hurt, all I did was kiss you!”

“I didn’t ask you to kiss me!” She cries out, throwing up her hands at her sides to drive home her point. “I didn’t want you to kiss me!”

“Then why did you even say yes to meeting up with me? Gods, you’re such a tease,” he grumbles. 

“Why are you talking like this is my fault?!” She blinks away her tears, feeling anger bubble up inside of her. 

“Because you’re the one who bit me! Kark, aren’t you togs venomous?!” He asks with wide eyes. 

“Oh, yeah, you’re gonna drop dead real soon,” Ahsoka hisses back, practically shaking with rage. “And I bit you because you wouldn’t take a gucking hint and stop kissing me! I bit you because you were touching me where I didn’t want to be kriffing touched!”

“Well, how was I supposed to know that?!”

“I don’t know, maybe ask?” Ahsoka yells. “Maybe think for one second and ask yourself what me trying to push you off of me could possibly mean!”

“I should’ve known telling you how I feel would be a bad idea,” he sighs and rolls his eyes. 

“You haven’t told me anything! You just grabbed me and kissed me!” Ahsoka feels the energy leaving her body the longer the conversation goes on and tears build in her eyes again as shame overcomes her. “I didn’t want you to kiss me.”

“Why not?! What, am I so bad after all?” He steps closer which makes Ahsoka step back into the railing.

She felt trapped and near tears. “Please, calm down and do not take another step closer to me.”

“Why? You scared that the Separatist scumbag is going to hurt you?” Lux asked angrily. 

“No, I just don’t want to have to hurt you!”

“That’s ridiculous, Soka,” he scoffs, stepping even closer. 

“Don’t call me that,” she grits out. “And get away from me before I break your nose.”

“Why are you fighting this so much? You know you like me back, why wouldn’t you? Why else would you agree to talk to me alone and get so close to me? Why else would you act like that around me?”

“Like what?” Ahsoka asks exasperatedly, tired of being told the different ways of how this was her fault. 

“Like- like you want me to kiss you!” Lux shouts at her. “Like you want me! You were always walking around in that little dress and swaying your hips at me! You can’t blame me for the way you led me on!” 

“Led you on?!” Ahsoka repeats in disbelief. “I didn’t do any of that! And you don’t have the right to just… just take my body like it’s yours because of what I wear or how I act, or — ugh! — whatever the hell it is you think!”

“Ahsoka, you’re making it sound like I assaulted you or something. It was just a kiss!” Lux is talking to her like she’s crazy and she hates it. “If anything, you assaulted me!”

“What?” Ahsoka stares at him. “Maybe because you did assault me?! Kissing and touching someone without their consent is assault!”

“Oh, for the love of- would you stop being so dramatic?!” Lux runs a hand through his hair and steps even closer but Ahsoka isn’t paying attention. 

“I’m being dramatic?!”

“Yes! You basically asked for this! I’m surprised no one else has tried you yet with the way you saunter about! Gods, do you even know what you do to men, Ahsoka? Are you aware of how kriffing hot you are? Of course I’d want to kiss you! Why are you still so surprised over this whole thing?!”

Ahsoka feels nauseous, his words ringing in her montrals. The tears keep building in her eyes but she refuses to let them fall, especially not in front of him. Shaking her head at the boy in front of her, she turns around to walk away from him. 

“Ahsoka-,” Lux’s hand grabs onto her wrist tightly and he pulls her back. “Why are you so upset?!”

“Don’t touch me! She cries out, ripping her wrist out of his bruising grip. “I don’t even know why you’re still talking to me like you’ll change my mind or something!”

The look on his face says it all, and it hurts, everything hurts. 

“Oh, Force, you really thought you were going to get me to change my mind, didn't you?!”

“Ahsoka, you can’t blame me! I really like you, and any man would jump at the chance to… uhm, be with you.”

“That doesn’t mean I want them to!” She shouts in his face. 

“Oh, yeah? You don’t dress like that because you don’t want any attention whatsoever, Ahsoka!”

“How exactly do I dress?! What is so wrong with the way I dress that you suddenly can’t bring yourself to respect me?!” 

She remembers his lingering gaze on her, the way he had looked her up and down the first time they met. She remembers rolling her eyes in him and saying that no matter if Separatist or Republican, boys are all the same. She has never been more scared of that discovery than now. 

“I do respect you! It’s just natural to get distracted when someone looks so… so…”

“Just spit it out!” Ahsoka yells, and she already knows she’ll regret it. 

“So fuckable!” Lux exclaims and she physically shrinks back at his words. “Like I said, you have no idea how hot you are and you’re not exactly leaving much to the imagination! That’s not fair.”

Without another word, Ahsoka spins around and starts walking away. Her body is thrumming with disgust, shame and betrayal and she doesn’t know what to do with herself.

“Ahsoka, wait! Gods, do you have to be such a sensitive bitch about it?!”

Her fist connects with his face before she can even properly think about her aim. Lux staggers back, holding his nose and Ahsoka takes that moment to run away before he can say anything else. And before the tears start falling from her eyes. 

Running in the dress was near impossible and once she reached the park gate she slowed down, grabbing the hem of her dress and pulling with all her might, ripping a slit right up the skirt. No way was she going to be able to run all the way to the hotel with the skirt restricting her movements. She didn’t want to risk any chance of Lux being able to catch up to her if he decided to try. 

Ahsoka starts running, thankful that she had worn her boots underneath her dress instead of the uncomfortable and impractical shoes Padmé wore. The tears she had been trying to hold in were now running freely down her face and Ahsoka wonders if the make-up she’s wearing is waterproof. 

It is well past 11 by the time Ahsoka quietly opens the door to the apartment she was staying in with Padmé, Rex and the rest of Padmé’s security and handmaidens. She makes sure to close the door softly behind herself, so as to not alert anyone, and locks it quickly behind herself. Breathing heavily, her shoulders shaking with the sobs she’s holding in. Turning around, she jumps when she sees a large figure moving towards her in the dark, not having expected anyone to be up at this time. 

“Commander? Is everything alright?” The voice undoubtedly belongs to Rex, an incredible softness to it. 

He steps closer towards her, but halts about an arm’s length away. 

“Y-yeah,” Ahsoka lies, hoping he can’t see her tears. 

“Sorry if I’m overstepping here, Commander, but you don’t sound alright,” he says and steps to the side, reaching his hand over to the wall to turn the lights up slightly. “Yeah, you don’t exactly look alright either.”

“I’m fine, I just want to go to bed,” Ahsoka's voice wobbles slightly and she reaches up to wipe away the wetness on her face, black streaks on her hands when she retracts them. 

“Are you hurt?” 

“No,” her fist throbs dully in protest. 

Rex looks the Padawan up and down thoughtfully, scanning her for injuries and Ahsoka feels herself start to shake as she remembers Lux’s words. What if Rex thought about her like that?

“Ahsoka, please let me help you,” he says gently, voice barely above a whisper. “Tell me what’s going on.”

Biting her lip, a faint taste of Lux’s blood making itself present in her mouth, Ahsoka’s hands start shaking. 

“I don’t-,” her voice cracks and her face scrunches up, then crumbles, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. 

The clone opens his arms and steps closer towards her, inviting her in. She hesitates, but eventually lets herself fall into his chest. Wrapping her arms around his torso, he wraps his around her shoulders. That small difference between him and Lux alone took a large weight off her chest. He holds her close but entirely differently from how Lux had, gently stroking her rear lek to comfort her. Ahsoka cries until she can’t anymore, and then pulls away once she realizes she has smeared her make-up all over his shirt. 

“Sorry,” she mumbles and Rex just shakes his head. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he says softly. “Come, let’s sit down.”

He guides her over to the sofa, his hand hovering in between her shoulder blades. Also entirely different from Lux. They sat down on the fancy sofa together and Ahsoka leaned her head onto Rex’s shoulder. For a few moments they both stay silent and unmoving, Ahsoka trying to calm herself down and gather the courage to figure out how to talk to Rex about this. 

“Have you ever… kissed anyone?” Ahsoka asks timidly and can feel by the way he slightly straightens up that the question surprised him. 

“No,” Rex answers honestly. “I know a lot of the men do go out and… find partners to spend their nights with, but I’ve never really been interested in that sort of thing. Or had the time. Why do you ask?”

Ahsoka bites her lip, heart beating fast as she can’t find a better way to word her thoughts and nervously awaiting the answer. “Do… do any of the men… do they want to… kiss me?”

Rex splutters in surprise. “I’d sure give them a piece of mind if they ever expressed anything like that!”

He shakes his head and Ahsoka looks up at him, seeing an expression of disgust and protectiveness at the thought on his face. It reassures her, gives her the small boost of confidence she needed. 

“Lux kissed me,” she says after a few moments of silence. “I didn’t want him to do that.”

Ahsoka looks away from her Captain again. Fresh tears start rolling down her cheeks and her bottom lip trembles slightly. 

“He said-,” she stops herself, realizing that she can’t bring herself to repeat it. “He doesn’t even see me as a person, Rex. He just sees me as some… he just wants to…”

Gently, leaving her room to move back, Rex pulls her into another hug. Ahsoka buries her face in his chest. The clone rubs his hand up and down her arm in a comforting manner.

“I don’t want men to look at me like he does,” she whispers sadly. 

From the way his grip on her slightly tightens, Ahsoka can tell he’s outraged at what he’s hearing, but trying his hardest to stay calm for her. She can feel it in the Force too, the anger radiating off of him. 

“I’m so sorry you had to experience that,” he says with overwhelming sincerity. “Do you want to report him?”

Ahsoka quickly shakes her head, pulling away from the hug to look at Rex. “I sort of bit his lip and maybe kind of broke his nose.”

“Good, that di’kut deserves it,” Rex says firmly, though there was a slight aura of ‘proud’ directed at her. “Did he just kiss you or did he do anything else?”

“Uhm, not really much else,” Ahsoka said, looking down at her hands. “He… he touched me a bit… intimately, but then it was just mostly the things he said afterwards that really… stuck with me.”

“What did he say?” Rex asks, unsure whether he should ask Ahsoka where he touched her. 

The long tear up the skirt of her dress wasn’t exactly very reassuring, but Rex tried not to jump to conclusions. He watched as Ahsoka frowned, eyebrow markings drawn together and corners of her lips turned down slightly. 

“Pretty much just yelled about how I bit him and how I was being dramatic and that I led him on,” Ahsoka says in one breath. “And he… well, he said that I should’ve expected it because of the way I act and dress, or something like that, like he kept talking like it was my fault. He said… that I shouldn’t be so shocked and that he’s surprised that no one has ‘tried’ me before.”

“What,” Rex blurts out. “Sorry, it’s just- don’t listen to a word he said, alright? None of this was your fault. It will always be his fault, anyone who dares touch you without your permission in a way that makes you uncomfortable is always at fault, never you.”

Ahsoka nods, eyes glistening and chewing on her lip again. The blonde clone watched her fidget for a moment, then remembered something she said earlier which finally clicked in his head. 

“Is what he said the reason you asked if any of the men want to kiss you?” He asks slowly. 

“Yeah,” Ahsoka whispers. “It’s just… he really got into my head, I think. I mean, I’m not stupid, or naive. I notice when men stare at me and it’s not like I’ve never been catcalled before or anything, I mean I know women have it hard and that togruta especially are a very… sexualized species. But to have it said to my face was just so… like, I thought he was nice. I thought he was just being nice, but he wanted something out of it, and it made me wonder how many others are just nice because they want something from me. How many others are willing to just… take my body like it’s theirs.”

Her bottom lip quivers and she squeezes her eyes shut as tears fill them again. When they spill, Ahsoka presses her fists into her eyes and lowers her head. Rex keeps a steady, comforting hand on her trembling upper back, taking in everything she said. It was a lot. He wasn’t sure what to say, or if there even was anything he could say, so he stayed silent and just let her cry. 

Once the tears slowed until they eventually stopped, Rex pulled himself together to ask her one last question. 

“Can you tell me where he touched you?”

Ahsoka stiffened slightly, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand and sniffling slightly. Rex was just about to apologize for overstepping when she nodded and lifted her hand to show him. 

“He… well, he just kissed me out of nowhere and put one hand on my cheek, and the other went… went from my waist to my, uh, my hip,” Ahsoka said, hands trembling as she pointed at herself where Lux’s touch still lingered. “Then when he got a bit more… aggressive, he started… he started sliding his hand down, like this…”

She hovered her hand several centimeters above her skin, showing the trail he went from her check, over the side of her neck, down her collarbone and to the top of her breasts. “A-and his other hand went, um, went behind me to grab me there.”

Letting her hands fall back into her lap, her cheeks burning hot with shame, Ahsoka avoids Rex’s eyes by staring at the floor. 

“I see,” he says, his voice sounding pained. “I’m sorry that happened, that must’ve been scary. So he didn’t rip your dress, then?”

“No, that was me,” Ahsoka admitted. “I couldn’t run well enough in it, so I tore up the skirt. I was scared he would follow me. Do you think Senator Amidala will be mad that I ruined her dress?”

She looks up at him with big, worried eyes, still glistening with tears. Rex’s face softens and a small, reassuring smile tugs at the corners of his lips. 

“No, I don’t think so. I think she would be proud to know how well you handled yourself, and would rather you tear up her dress than put yourself in further danger,” he tells her honestly and she relaxes slightly, letting out the small breath she had been holding in. 

“Alright, yeah, you’re probably right,” Ahsoka nods, then lets out a small yawn. 

“I think it’s best if you get to bed,” Rex tells her, smiling fondly. “We can talk more tomorrow, figure out how to make sure Bonteri won’t come anywhere near you for the rest of this mission. You should consider telling Senator Amidala as well. I’m sure she’d understand.”

“I think so too,” Ahsoka says, a tinge of sadness in her voice. “That sounds good. Thank you for being here for me, and for letting me talk about what happened.”

“You can always count on me, vod’ika,” Rex’s brown eyes are warm and filled with sincerity and love, and Ahsoka found herself believing him. “And you can always come to me whenever you feel unsafe or need to talk or need help, alright?”

Ahsoka nods, throwing her arms around him for another hug. “Thanks, sa’daar.”

—

Togruti translations:

Aga’meht — Grandmother (literally “old mother” since there is no known translation for grandmother)

Sa’daar — Brother

— 

Mando’a translations:

Di’kut — Idiot, useless individual, waste of space

Vod’ika — Affectionate way to refer to ones sibling

[wreckerslula99]

AWC Masterlist

August Writing Challenge Masterlist!

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“I think the map is leading us in circles.” cw: head injury, concussion, descriptions of violence, blood, injury and implied/referenced death

Tribute cw: blood, vomit, death (a random dude & references to Kalifa's death s3e21), broken neck, biting, flashbacks, dissociation (sorta)

Running eyeliner cw: sexual assault (non-consensual kissing & touching), victim blaming, rape culture?, sexualization, objectification, this happens to Ahsoka and she is a minor! (Around 16 in this)

“It’s refreshing to finally see you make a mistake.”

“I don’t usually get motion sick but— oh, I think I’m gonna puke.”

Necessary theft

Backfired

Damage control

Flirting

“Why did you pretend to not know me?”

Tasteless

A hole in a shoe

A change in appearance

Proof checking

“Sand gets everywhere.”

"It's been hurting for a while, I think it's serious."

Levitating

Broken glass

Misdirection

A poorly healed injury

“This haircut makes me feel like a douchebag.”

Blinding

“You said you’d go with me.” “I lied.”

Dance sequence

Uniforms

Battle of the wits

“Believe it or not, I’m not always in the mood to murder people.”

Naboo

Consequences

Collector’s edition

Too subtle

[wreckerslula99]

#1: "I think the map is leading us in circles."

August writing challenge

Prompt 1: "I think the map is leading us in circles."

Word count: 5231

CW: Head injury, concussion, descriptions of violence, blood, injury and death (no major characters)

SUMMARY: Anakin, Ahsoka, Rex and the rest of the 501st are on a dusty planet trying to save the natives from a Separatist occupation by getting through their battalions of droids and destroying the illegaly built Separatist base. But Anakin has hit his head a few times already and is having to navigate being a leader while suffering from a concussion… and the annoying pleas and orders from his padawan, his captain and their medic about staying behind and resting.

NOTES: This sort of got away from me... wasn't planning on this being this long. Also didn't beta read... so feel free to point out any mistakes OR stuff you liked (: I absolutely love comments! Check the end notes for mando'a translations!

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AWC23 - Masterlist

“Rex! We could use some help down here,” Anakin grits out into his comm as he continues deflecting several blaster bolts coming his way. 

“Coming, General,” the Captain answers, yelling something at a group of 501st troopers at his side.

They follow him down the slope of land they had previously been fighting on, over to where Skywalker, Tano and a few other men were fighting. Since they had the high ground upon the slope, it had been easier to defeat the enemy from there without the help of either Jedi. Down here, with all the rocky ground and dust whirling around, it was a completely different story. 

Not to mention that this was the second wave of Separatist forces they had come across so far, and Rex was pretty sure General Skywalker had taken more than one hit to the head already. 

“Ugh! Whoever keeps reprogramming these tin cans sure knows what they’re doing!” Ahsoka yells in frustration, taking the risk and charging forwards to cut a few down, despite the heavy blaster fire directed at her. 

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Anakin counters, letting out a small grunt when he has to physically evade another round of blasterbolts, something stinging in his head as he does so. “It’s all just about- ugh! — statistics, and- … — strength in numbers!”

“My bad, I forgot droids are your projects of passion,” Ahsoka rolls her eyes, cutting down another half dozen battle droids before making her way to the tanks. 

“Aim for the tanks!” Rex yells, understanding her strategy. 

The two large cannons they had situated on top of the slope were rotated to aid the combat below, and aim to take out the tanks, which were their main problems. The Jedi could cut down hundreds of droids in no time, but with tanks it was a whole different level of blaster fire. To deflect a tank’s bolts was more strenuous than simple blaster bolts, and as long as there was an overwhelming amount of fire directed at them, they were barely able to even move forwards through the droids.

Ahsoka moves quickly, grabbing a bomb from her belt, flipping on top of the tank, opening the first hatch and throwing it in, then jumping to the other one and repeating the same process. Before the tank even fully exploded, she was already on her way to the next one, turning and deflecting bolts here and there, as well as cutting down any droids in her path. 

However, once she got to the second one, she realized she only had one bomb left. With another frustrated groan, she continued deflecting bolts, keeping to the tank’s blind side as she comms Rex. 

“I’m all out of bombs! Either you get down here and help me — and please tell me you’re not also out of bombs — or this mission is going to absolute sith hells!” 

“Don’t worry, Commander,” answers Rex. “I’ve got more than enough for these clankers.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” she says, her smirk evident in her voice as she continues fighting the droids with newfound motivation. 

Once in range, Rex signals to her and tosses a few bombs her way and they start taking down the tanks one by one. By the time they were down to the last one, Anakin and the rest of the troops had already advanced through most of the battle droids in front of the tanks and were now quickly working their way through all the way. 

The destruction of the last tank was a sign of victory, for the path through the rest of the droids would be far easier now. It ended up taking them less than 5 minutes to destroy every last one and then they were moving onwards, Anakin, Rex and Ahsoka at the front with the men marching behind them. 

They were nearing a field of tall rock formations, which looked similar to a labyrinth on the map. It wasn’t a holomap; it was a regular piece of paper. They didn’t have time to transfer the map they were given by the natives of the planet to a holo device, where it would have been 3D and tracking their standpoint at all times. This way, they had to keep track of where they were themselves, and of course Anakin was in possession of the map and leading them. There was a smear of blood in his sleeve, which he had wiped off his forehead earlier around the second time he got hit over the head. Thanks to his dark robes, it was hardly noticeable, and he walked with the injured side of his head turned away from his Padawan and Captain. 

“I don’t like this place,” Jesse says from somewhere behind them, drawing a small laugh from Fives who was walking beside him. 

“Well, lucky for you, it won’t be long until we’ll be on our way off this rock,” Anakin responds with a confident chuckle. 

They continue walking, with Anakin leading them through the labyrinth. Once they get about halfway through it, they decide to take a short break, as they hadn’t taken a singular break since they started the campaign. Most troopers opted to sit down on the ground or some larger rocks while others decided to stay standing. Everyone was eating their ration bar and drinking some water, soft chatter filling the air. Kix was doing his rounds, checking on the men’s wellbeing and taking care of anyone who was wounded during the battle. Ahsoka found herself roped into a conversation with Fives about whether ‘tinnies’ or ‘clankers’ was a better nickname for the battle droids, Rex watching them with an amused expression on his face. He felt a bit more at ease now that Kix was making his rounds, working his way around to General Skywalker. Rex had witnessed both times the Jedi had hit his head and had paid close attention to every time he touched his head or swayed slightly. 

However, as their luck would have it, there was some sudden commotion a bit further away, from the troopers who had been walking in the back. It all happened so fast, screams and the shots being fired echoing in Rex’s head as he whips his head around, puts on his bucket and pulls his blasters out as he runs towards the sounds. 

Massiffs are ugly creatures, reaching up to about a grown man’s waist, with large mouths containing razor sharp teeth. Teeth which Rex was currently watching being sunk into his brothers. 

“Shab,” he swears under his breath.

“Sithspit!” Ahsoka hisses out from somewhere on his left around the same time. “How did this happen?!”

“I thought Jedi were able to sense lifeforms!” Fives yells through the comm.

“We’re supposed to!” Anakin responds sharply. “Ahsoka, I thought I told you to always-”

He cuts himself off with a grunt and Rex looks in his direction to see that a few of the Massiffs seem to have jumped onto him, knocking him onto his back with their weight and speed. 

“I got it!” Ahsoka tells Rex and he nods, continuing to fight the ugly beasts.

“Little help here, Snips!” Anakin grits out, currently trying to keep three Massiffs from sinking their teeth into his throat with his bare hands while his lightsaber lay discarded a few meters away. 

Ahsoka skillfully beheads all three of the creatures with one swing of her lightsaber, causing their bodies to go limp and drop down on top of Anakin. Looking around, everything seemed to be clearing up, so she crouches down and helps her Master sit up. With a disgusted look on his face, he shakes the dead Massiffs off of himself. 

“Master, are you okay? Your eyes don’t really look like you’re here with me,” Ahsoka says with a small frown, studying his face and then scanning his body for injuries with her eyes. 

“I’m fine, Snips,” he waves her off, shaking his head slightly and blinking several times. 

“Are you sure? ‘Cause I saw you hit your head again when you fell,” she points out. “What’s that now, three times?”

“I said I’m fine, Ahsoka,” Anakin says, irritation clear in his voice. “Go check on the men.”

With great reluctance, the Padawan stands up and leaves her Master to check on the troopers. They had lost a handful of soldiers to the creatures’ sudden ambush, and Ahsoka was sure even if she wasn’t a Jedi, she would still be able to physically feel the morale sinking among the men. She tried to pat as many of them on the back as possible, asking them all if they got injured. Through them she had made her way over to Rex, who was watching the dead being dragged into a pile for later pick-up. Never leave a man behind. 

“What the hell was that?!” Fives exclaims as he comes up to them before Ahsoka has the chance to say anything to the Captain. 

“Massiffs,” Ahsoka answered. “We’ve encountered them before on planets like Geonosis and Tatooine. They seem to really like rocks and dust.”

“Yeah, and humans,” Fives commented, running a hand through his jet black hair. “Wha-”

“Another comment about how we should’ve been able to sense them and I’ll drag you right back to them,” Ahsoka threatens Fives, her index finger pointing at him.

“Sorry, Commander,” he admits sheepishly, and Ahsoka feels bad for her small outburst. 

“No, I’m sorry, Fives, it’s just…,” she sighs as she turns to Rex, running her hand over her face, halfway up her montral and then down her right lek, trying to soothe the concern tingling within it. “Master Skywalker is injured. Concussion, probably, and I’m not sure how bad it is.”

Rex mirrors her sigh. “Yeah, I know. He hit his head twice back there with the clankers.”

“He hit it another time just now, actually,” she says. “When he was pounced on by those Massiffs.”

“Ha’arangir dinuir ni kot,” Rex mumbled under his breath, pinching his nose. “Jaro jetii…”

Ahsoka could tell Fives was holding back laughter and scrunched up her nose, once again reminding herself to ask them to teach her some more Mando’a other than the basics once they’re all back on the Resolute. 

“Alright, Fives, tell the men to get ready to keep going, we need to move before anything else can happen,” he sighs, then turns to Ahsoka as Fives runs off. “Let’s go help Kix.”

Ahsoka looks at him with a confused expression on her face, but once she turns around to look in the direction Rex was heading in, she couldn’t hold back an exasperated eyeroll and another sigh. Trailing after Rex, they made their way over to where Anakin was sitting up on a rock and arguing with Kix. The medic had his kit next to him and he was holding a roll of thick, white bandages, waving it around exasperatedly in the air. 

“...concussion… consequences, which… memory and concentration problems, mood… personality… insomnia, sight… balance, speech impediments…,” as they got closer they could pick up bits and pieces of Kix lecturing Anakin. “Sensory disorders… and don’t even get me started on how many of these can become long term problems!”

“Hey, it’s not a big deal! I’ll just let them pop me into a bacta tank when I get back and I’ll be as good as new,” Anakin waves him off. 

“You do know Kix outranks you in this, right?” Ahsoka jumps in. “Isn’t it, like, illegal to not follow higher authority?”

“Since when do I ever follow orders, Snips? Since when do you?” Anakin challenges, crossing his arms. 

“Since today,” she smiles tightly at him, walking behind him and putting her hands on his tense shoulders. “Stop hassling Kix, just let him do his job and we’ll be able to move on and pop you in that bacta tank so much quicker.”

“Alright, fine,” Anakin groans. “But this is such a waste of time.”

No one responds to that, though they were all probably thinking the same thing. Kix shoots Ahsoka a thankful look and begins checking Anakin’s head for injuries, cleaning both a cut at his hairline and one at the back of his head from blood. He tests the General’s reflexes and shines a light in his eyes, his face set into a tight frown the whole time. After applying some bacta-cream to the wounds he tightly wraps a strap around Anakin’s head in several layers of white bandages. 

“Alright, you should be good for now, but you are not cleared for battle,” Kix says and Anakin’s eyes widen almost comically. 

“What?! There’s no way I’m sitting back on the sidelines,” Anakin protests while Kix starts packing up his medkit.

“You won’t be,” Kix says. “You’ll be standing.”

Ahsoka could feel the stubborn, frustrated defiance radiate off her Master. She watches him try to calm himself and thinks back to what Kix said about the consequences of a concussion. The parts she heard, anyway. 

“You know, not to pour salt into open wounds, but don’t you think it might be better if I take over the reading of the map? Since you’re concussed,” she says. 

“Snips, I could read this map with my eyes closed,” he assures her arrogantly. “Stop worrying.”

The young Padawan throws her hands up and backs away. “Whatever you say, Master. But I think it’s a bad idea.”

“So do I,” Kix mumbles, but Anakin doesn’t acknowledge it. 

He stands up and even though he hides it well, Ahsoka and the two clones can see the small wobble in his knees and the way his eyes flit around for a short moment, as though he got dizzy for a second. But Anakin braces himself and brushes it off, clipping his lightsaber back onto his belt and walking over to where the rest of the troopers are ready to keep going. 

“Alright, men, let’s move it,” he tells them and starts marching off into the rest of the labyrinth. 

“Jare’la jetii…,” Kix sighs and shakes his head before walking over to join the troopers’ formation at his spot. 

“Let’s catch up to Anakin before he gets hit over the head a fourth time,” Ahsoka tells Rex who only laughs grimly in response and they head for the top of the formation. 

They had been walking for a while, and Ahsoka felt more highly strung and on edge watching Anakin sway slightly from time to time than she had ever been during any battle. Wondering if she would have to catch up, if she could even carry him. With the Force she could of course, but would she be able to act quickly enough if he suddenly tipped to the side?

“Hey, Echo,” she hears Fives’ mischievous voice from behind her. “What does that rock remind you of?” 

“You’re such a child,” she heard Echo’s annoyed voice before Fives bursts into a small fit of laughter, Jesse joining him. 

Ahsoka looks around to see what they were talking about, and spots a rock on top of one of the lower formations looking like a certain… phallic object. She rolls her eyes at Fives’ immaturity, though a small smile creeps onto her face which she tries to hide behind her hand. 

“See? The Commander found it funny!” Fives says, effectively wiping any trace of amusement from Ahsoka’s face. 

“Just because I smiled at how stupid your jokes are, doesn’t mean I find them funny,” she crosses her arms defensively. 

“Fives, stay focused,” Rex warns, which funnily enough also had a back-straightening effect on Ahsoka. 

“Yes, sir,” Fives responded quickly, but Ahsoka could practically feel him making faces at her back underneath his helmet. 

They continue on, Ahsoka growing increasingly more worried over how quiet her Master was being. She wants to ask him if he’s alright, if he needs a break or if he needs her to take over, but doesn’t want to make him any more agitated than he already is. A few minutes of walking later, somewhere from behind her Ahsoka hears Fives again. 

“Ha! Another one!” He chuckles and she can almost hear Echo’s eyeroll. 

She doesn’t look for it this time, keeping her eyes on her Master’s rather unsteady form and tunes the rest of their conversation out. Out of the corner of her eye she can see Rex slightly shaking his head at his brothers’ antics, but not interfering in their harmless conversation. 

Now, Ahsoka wasn’t normally one to be anxious, especially not about a battle which they had almost already won anyway. However, she felt a dark pit of something stirring in her gut at the sight of her Master’s pale face and softly trembling hands. His shields were pulled down tightly around him, so she strived to do the same. Out of all the times, now wouldn’t be the best for her to hear a snarky comment about keeping her emotions and worries to herself. 

“I see something you don’t,” Fives sang quietly from behind her, clearly aimed at Echo. 

“Fives, if it’s another… rock, then you can gladly keep that sight to yourself,” the clone responded. 

Ahsoka doesn’t believe in coincidences, nor a multitude of phallic rocks. She turns her eyes up and sees a rock looking oddly familiar. No, not just familiar, it looked eerily similar to the first rock Fives had pointed out. No, not just similar. That was the exact same rock. 

“I bet 25 credits that’s the same rock we passed the other two times,” Jesse took the words out of her mouth and her eyes widened. 

“Ugh!” Anakin exclaims angrily and stops walking, glaring down at the piece of paper in his hand. “I think the map is leading us in circles!”

“No, I think you’re the one leading us in circles!” Ahsoka retorts, pointing an accusing finger at his chest. 

“Well, I’m sorry, but it’s a little hard to read when I’ve been hit over the head three times already!” Anakin argues back. “I told you I could take over! And you said ‘Snips, I could read this map with my eyes closed, stop worrying’,” she lowered her voice mockingly to mimic him. “Well- that was before we got attacked by those Massiffs!” He argues back, crossing his arms stubbornly. “No, it wasn’t!” Ahsoka can feel herself getting more frustrated by the minute and she takes a deep breath to calm down slightly before she continues. “Master, with all due respect, I think it’s best you sit this one out and give me the map to lead us the rest of the way.” He looks torn between staying stubborn, and slowly realizing that she’s right and he needs to do what’s best for the mission, for the squad. With a sigh he uncrosses his arms, his shoulders sagging slightly. 

“Alright, you’re right,” he nods and a relieved smile grows on Ahsoka’s face. 

But when she reaches out her hand to take the map from him, he reaches it over her head and shoves it into Rex’s chest instead. The Padawan looks at her Master with a questioning and slightly offended look on her face. All he does in response is shrug his shoulders and smirk at her.

“You’re crazy if you think I’d let you lead us after you failed your cartography class,” he remarks, starting to walk again, this time after Rex. “That was only by two points!” She whines but follows them nonetheless.

She could hear a few snickers coming from behind her and started silently planning how to get away with murdering Fives, Jesse and Hardcase. 

“I’ll help you hide their bodies,” Echo whispers to her through the comm as if he had read her mind, and she has to fight to hold in her laughter. 

To no one’s surprise, Rex managed to lead them out of the labyrinth in no time. Now they were at the top of another hill, which led down to the illegally built and seemingly very poorly placed Separatist base. 

“Ahsoka, you and I are going to-,” Anakin starts devising the plan, but is immediately cut off by Rex.

“Sir, with all due respect, Kix didn’t clear you for combat,” he reminds the General and Ahsoka nods in agreement. 

“What? That doesn’t matter,” Anakin responds. “I’m the General, I’m here to lead my men into combat, not sit back and watch them do it alone all because of a few little accidents!”

“You have a concussion!” Ahsoka exclaims. “A very serious result from all those ‘little accidents’!”

“Whatever, all that matters is I’m not staying here,” Anakin crosses his arms stubbornly and Ahsoka groans and rolls her eyes. 

“Master, will you stop being so stubborn?! This is what’s best for you, for the men, for the mission! You can barely stand straight!”

“I’m fine! You can’t tell me what to do, I’m the Master and you’re the Padawan!” 

“Then why am I so much wiser,” Ahsoka mumbles under her breath as she goes to look for Kix to maybe give Anakin a sedative or something of the sort. 

But of course, as soon as she was stuck somewhere in the sea of troopers, Anakin gave the order to start the attack. With him leading them. Of course.

Letting out a small, frustrated growl, accidentally scaring a shiny running past her, she turns around and follows them. If Anakin was going to be so stupid as to do something like this, she’ll need to keep an eye on him. So the next time he hits his head isn’t the last time. 

She runs, moving quickly and smoothly in between the soldiers, until she spots Anakin’s dark robes somewhere at the entrance of the base. With a sigh, she speeds up her pace, already drawing her saber as she sees the endless army of droids flooding out from the base. 

When Ahsoka is engaged in heavy blaster fire, still a good bit away from Anakin, she bites back another frustrated growl. Throughout the battle, she tries to inch closer and closer to Anakin, always keeping an eye on him. Which, admittedly, worsened her focus.

“Commander, watch out!” Rex yells through the comm, the sound vibrating in her montrals as she instinctively ducks and rolls out of the way of an incoming shot from the cannons the droids had suddenly assembled. 

“Thanks, Rex,” she responds, slightly out of breath. 

The small distraction had been enough for Ahsoka to lose sight of Anakin and she looked around in a frenzy, trying to spot him. She managed to catch sight of dark robes disappearing inside the base and immediately ran after him, fighting off droids along the way. Once inside, it became clear to her that Anakin had taken the task of blowing up the base upon himself and was distributing bombs inside. Luckily, this meant she would have an easier time finding him, as she would only have to follow the trail of bombs and destroyed droids left behind. 

Upon closing in on his location, she could hear the struggles of a fight. Ahsoka runs into the command center, lightsabers raised and ready. She is met with a sight she never thought she’d see; Anakin Skywalker was getting his ass kicked. Now, of course he’s gotten his ass handed to him plenty of times before by many adversaries, however, this ass handing was happening by two BX-series commando droids. Two. He was sloppy in his form, his footing off and unbalanced, his swings with his lightsaber were either too wide or too short, sometimes even a complete miss as though he were seeing things wrong, and Ahsoka had to remind herself she was here to help him, not watch him lose. 

So, she charges at the nearest droid and engages it in a fight. The BX-series commando droids were quite quick and skilled, but of course, no match for a Jedi. Except if that Jedi happens to be suffering from a severe concussion. 

“What if you just followed orders and stopped running all over the place for once?” Ahsoka yelled, gritting her teeth as she dodged the droid’s attempt to flip over her and grab her. 

“That is a lot coming from you, my Padawan!” Anakin yells back. “As you can see, I’m doing just fine on my-”

A loud crash interrupted him and Ahsoka spun around to check where it came from. Anakin had been thrown against one of the monitors on the wall so hard that it had cracked, and he was lying on the floor in front of it, seemingly unconscious or unable to move. Ahsoka feels panic grip her and she fights even more fiercely, taking down the droid she had been fighting with a slice diagonally through its torso. With quick, long strides, she makes her way between the other droid and her Master, right when it was about to raise its blaster to his head. Aware of the beeping from the bombs all around her and unsure whether they were remote controlled or on a clock, she felt the pressure of time either way. With a few smart and controlled moves, she finally manages to take down the second droid as well. Breathing heavily, she clips her sabers to her belt, doing the same with Anakin’s lightsaber before hoisting him up by her shoulder. She slung one of his arms around her neck and held it there tightly, wrapping her other arm firmly around his waist and beginning to drag him along. 

“Come on, Master, just hold on,” she mumbles more to herself than him, as he didn’t seem particularly conscious at the moment. “We’ve almost made it.”

Her arms are growing numb and her neck and shoulders hurt from his weight. Ahsoka’s knees buckle slightly and she grinds her teeth together, trying to use the Force to take some of the weight off, but it was a bit tricky, especially since she herself was quite worn from the constant fighting they had been doing. She turned around the corner and was finally able to see the exit. Anakin started stirring slightly, making Ahsoka’s concentration waver slightly. Her legs were shaking from the effort of carrying her Master and moving as fast as possible.

“Snips…,” Anakin groans, eyes fluttering. 

“It’s alright, Master, just hold on and we’ll be right out,” she says. 

“Ahsoka, the… the bombs, they’re…,” Anakin’s eyes widen and he drops to the floor, causing Ahsoka to almost crash down on top of him. 

“No, no, come on, we need to hurry! What about the bombs?!” She asks frantically, pulling at his arm with all her strength. 

They were so close to the exit, only a few more meters and they’d be outside. The young togruta was panicking, desperately trying to pull her Master back up while praying to the Force that he was still alive and wouldn’t suffer any long-lasting damage. 

And then she felt it. Like a cold touch, starting at the back of her neck and traveling down her spine like a shiver. Her blood went cold and sweat started to build on her forehead and the back of her neck. With her heart beating into her throat, everything felt like it was moving in slow-motion. But instead of this helping Ahsoka act quickly, it slowed her down as well. Her limbs felt heavy and sluggish, as though she were wading through water. Suddenly, she felt Anakin’s grip on her loosen, and a powerful force pushed her forward, past the exit of the facility. Shortly thereafter, while she was still in the air, another burst of power came from behind her, propelling her forward another couple meters. Ahsoka landed face first in the dry dirt, scraping her chin and feeling blood fill her nose and mouth. Her knees, shins, forearms and elbows were stinging, indicating they were probably all scraped up as well. It felt as though her head was wrapped in cotton, everything sounding muffled and she could barely pay attention to any of it. There was a ringing sound vibrating through her montrals and the young togruta brought her hands up and softly cupped them, squeezing her eyes shut. 

Suddenly there were two fingers pressing into her pulsepoint, as though someone were checking her pulse. The hand moved to her shoulder and another one, though gloved, wrapped around her upper arm. Incoherent shouting floated through the air and bounced around in her montrals like an echo. The ungloved hand felt warm and familiar, as well as the strength that came with it as she was pulled up into a sitting position and back against a plastoid chestplate. 

“-mander? Commander, can you hear me?” Rex’s voice slowly became clear again, the ringing subsiding and Ahsoka slowly let go of her montrals and let her arms fall limp at her side. “Hey, ad’ika, you here with me?”

“Rex?” She asks, a few trails of blood spilling down her chin, both from her mouth and nose. “What happened?”

Her speech was quiet and slightly slurred and Rex’s gloved hand let go of her upper arm to wipe the blood from her chin. She winced slightly as his thumb grazed over the bloody scrapes on her chin. 

“What happened?” She repeats when he doesn’t answer. 

“There was an explosion,” Rex finally said. “You made it out in time though, it seems the loud noise is just messing with you and you’ll feel better and more… present, in a second.”

“Is Anakin okay?” She immediately follows up and tries to look around to see if she can spot her Master. 

“He’s very beat up, but alive,” Rex says. “Nothing too bad. Kix is with him right now, we should get you to him as well.”

“Did we win?” She asks, looking up at him with big eyes. 

He chuckles slightly. “Yes, Commander. We won.”

“Thank the Force,” she sighs tiredly, relaxing slightly against his chest. 

“Alright, let’s get you to Kix,” Rex says, turning her slightly to wrap one arm around her back and slide the other underneath the backs of her knees. “The relief effort will be here soon.”

Ahsoka wraps her arms around the clone’s neck and lets him carry her over to where Kix was tending to Anakin. Usually, she would always insist on walking on her own, but after having spent so much time worrying about Anakin and fighting, she was tired. Despite her injuries not being very bad, she was thankful to be carried anyway. 

After having bacta cream smeared onto her knees, arms, chin and palms by Kix, Ahsoka felt much better by the time several troop transports landed, as well as one larger ship for equipment storage and medical attention. The relief effort had arrived surprisingly quickly, and Ahsoka helped carry some equipment on board the ship, until Anakin was passing by on a stretcher, finally awake. He looked like shit, but Ahsoka was happy to see him either way. She ran up to him and the two medics carrying him and walked alongside them. 

“That was some fine fighting you did out there, General Skywalker,” Ahsoka shows up at his side with a teasing smile. “You gonna listen to us next time?” “Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Anakin groans when they angle the stretcher slightly to carry him up the ramp into the ship, leaving behind a smirking Ahsoka. 

“Have fun in the bacta tank!”

— 

Mando’a translations:

Shab — Shit

Ha’arangir dinuir ni kot — Ha’arangir give me strength (basically god/lord give me strength) (Ha’arangir = Kad Ha’arangir, a destroyer god the Mandalorians worship)

Jaro jetii - Stupid Jedi (more specifically, stupid as in death wish/insane act of reckless stupidity)

Jare’la jetii - Stupid Jedi (more specifically, stupid as in stupidly oblivious to danger/asking for it)

Ad’ika - Kid, child, darling, sweetie... (Term of endearment, more specifically used as “kid” here)

— 

I'll try to post on time, so one prompt based ficlet per day (prompt list is in the notes of the series this work is attached to, and you can also find it on the link I provided in the notes at the beginning). But I'm also working the next three weeks, plus taking care of my friend's bird, so I might run late sometimes etc.

<3

[wreckerslula99]

#2: Tribute

August writing challenge

Prompt 2: Tribute

Word count: 5077

CW: Blood, vomit, death (a random dude & references to Kalifa's death), broken neck, biting, flashbacks, dissociation (sorta)

SUMMARY: When captured during a mission, Ahsoka, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Rex, Cody and Fives are forced to participate in a brutal game, where the objective is to kill the other tributes. Ahsoka has flashbacks to Wasskah (s3ep21: Padawan Lost) and being hunted for sport by the trandoshans. Her fight or flight kicks in and she's not doing well in the aftermath with the consequences of her actions... luckily her brothers are there for her to fall back on.

NOTES: I suck at summaries and this is 3 days late lol. Also wrote most of this during my breaks at my summer job.

PLEASE TELL ME IF I MISSED ANY WARNINGS!

AO3 Link

AWC23 - Masterlist

The cuffs around Ahsoka’s wrists were digging painfully into her flesh. She constantly braced herself for another jab at her lower back with the dull end of the spear the guards carried around. Guards? Keepers? Handlers? Ahsoka wasn’t sure what to call them. She wasn’t even sure where they were taking them. With wary eyes, she looked around, trying to gather clues. But there wasn’t much to look at to begin with; they were being walked through a dimly lit tunnel, with dirty stone walls and uneven pavement. 

Next to Ahsoka was Rex, in front of her were Anakin and Obi-Wan and behind her were Cody and Fives. They had been sent on a rescue mission to free some senator’s royal best friend’s son or something. But they had gotten caught and been imprisoned in underground cells for at least a day, maybe more. All of them had been cuffed, though the three Jedi had also received Force suppression collars around their necks.

At first, Ahsoka figured they were slavers, but when she voiced this thought, Obi-Wan simply shook his head, deep in thought. 

Around them, some of the guards and others walking past were whispering excitedly and Ahsoka strained to make out what was being said. 

“...the tournament,” she caught one of them saying, and the other chuckled. 

“Imagine how fun she would be if she won,” the other guard responded and Ahsoka felt her stomach churn. 

“I believe the blonde would be quite something as well,” the first guard said. “Or that one.”

Ahsoka didn’t want to know what they were implying or who the third one out of them was. It was clear they were talking about her and Rex, as she was the only ‘she’ and he was the only blonde around. She doesn’t want to know what they’re so excited about, but she has been feeling their stares traveling over her body since they first got captured. So, to say she wasn’t very eager to find out was a grave understatement. 

After the next turn they take they are suddenly met with a large wooden gate, reinforced with steel. Anakin and Obi-Wan are made to stop so in order to not bump into them, Ahsoka and Rex stop as well. They wait for the guards’ next moves, and the two who had been walking at the front start unlocking the gate. 

Ahsoka’s eyes shut instinctively when bright light flooded the dark tunnel as soon as the gate was pushed open. Opening them carefully and squinting, she is still trying to adjust to it and the short blindness she had experienced, when she receives another jab to her back. She stumbles forward and tries to keep herself from turning around and glaring at the guard behind her. They are made to walk out into the bright area, which, after hearing the loud cheers all around, Ahsoka comes to the horrifying conclusion is a round arena of some sorts. There were others being brought out on the opposite sides and Ahsoka took in the various obstacles around the stadium. Or at least they looked like obstacles. Various hovering platforms all over, all at different heights and with different means of getting up. There were also large steel boxes to hide behind or get on top of. 

The guard behind her suddenly steps in front of her and roughly grabs her arms. If looks could kill the man would surely be dead on the floor right now. What surprises Ahsoka is that he takes out a key and unlocks the cuffs, freeing her wrists from their pressure. Once he is done, she yanks her wrists away and takes a step back, rubbing her hands over the sore skin and shooting more daggers at him with her eyes. He didn’t look impressed. 

Ahsoka noticed that the others had also been relieved of their bonds and the guards were now pointing their weapons at them while slowly backing away towards the gate, closing and presumably locking it after they all left. 

Suddenly, a loud static went through the arena, seemingly coming from several speakers all around it. The crowd in the elevated stands was too high up for even Ahsoka to jump up to, at least without the Force, roared and then quieted down as a female voice started speaking. 

“Welcome, welcome! The Kilimarii games will begin shortly, but first, let’s hear some noise for our new, specially elected contestants!” 

Ahsoka could only stand there in horror as the crowd got loud again. She was almost 100% sure that they were the special contestants. 

“For those of you who are not familiar with the game, the objective is to eliminate your opponents. The platforms you see are to make things more interesting - but if you are on one alone for one minute, an electric shock will run through the platform. You’ll get two more warnings after the initial shock, and if you’re still not off the platform or someone has engaged you on it, the electrocution will become deadly,” the voice gleefully told them. “Any attempts at escape are strongly discouraged and could possibly result in your death. You fight with your bare hands or with a spear, if you can get to one.”

Ahsoka looked around, spotting a few spears high up on the walls. She could definitely get up there, as could all three clones and the other two jedi. Problem is, she doesn’t know how capable their opponents are. 

“Aside from that, there are no rules! The last person standing will be greatly rewarded,” the voice continued. “Happy watching! And good luck.”

A chime sounded through the arena, and the people on the other side started running for the spears. The audience was cheering wildly, meanwhile Ahsoka felt the blood in her veins freeze. Anakin bumped against her shoulder and she turned to him, taking in the deep frown on his face. 

“Let’s stick together,” he says and Ahsoka can only nod wordlessly in response. 

The three jedi and three clones band together in a circle to shield themselves from any possible attackers from all directions. And sure enough, several people started charging at them, while others engaged each other further away. Luckily, none of the ones who were running towards them had gotten to a spear. It was certainly disheartening to see how many of the others were very willing to play this twisted game. Fighting them off proved to be rather easy; the hard part was that they wouldn’t stay away. It wasn’t a very fair fight if one side of people were ready to kill and the others didn’t even want to hurt them. 

“Anyone got a plan?” Anakin grit out right before dodging a punch and delivering a rather harsh one to his assailant’s nose. 

“I thought you were always the one with the brilliant plans,” Ahsoka quipped back, rather occupied with kicking another person off of herself. 

“We’ve gotten out of similar situations before. At least this time we’re not starting out tied up and completely defenseless,” Obi-Wan says and Ahsoka shoots Anakin a confused look over her shoulder. 

He only rolls his eyes in response to her. “If you’re referring to Geonosis, that was supposed to be an execution. These people want to watch us die fighting each other for no particular reason other than entertainment.”

And then one person with a spear runs forward and manages to jab it at Obi-Wan, luckily only cutting a gash into his side. The Jedi stumbles back and clutches his side and Cody is quick to act. A sickening crunch is heard and the attacker stumbles back, holding his nose, blood seeping through his fingers. Cody quickly disarms him and takes the spear for himself. 

“For some reason I feel as though this was a lot easier on Geonosis,” Obi-Wan grits out, his voice almost drowned by the screams of the crowd. 

“Maybe because those kriffing bugs had farts for brains!” Anakin yells back.

There were already several dead bodies, and it seemed as though a few of the others had decided to team up as well and head for their little group. Slowly, their formation starts to crumble and they are forced to spread out more. Ahsoka runs towards a cluster of obstacles, passing through and over them with practiced ease. She was heading for one of the highest platforms, hoping she’d maybe get some sort of vantage point to map out any possible hidden advantages or escape routes. The padawan jumps up and grabs the metal bar above her, swinging back and forth a few times to gain momentum before pushing off and letting go, landing perfectly on top of the platform. If she had been paying attention to the crowd around them, she would’ve heard and uproar at her showcasing her athleticism. Standing up, she quickly tried to survey her surroundings. Several locked gates were all around the arena walls, and from this height she unfortunately couldn’t see behind or above the crowd for any possible exits. She gets distracted when she sees Anakin, now with a spear, engaging two opponents at once, and rather aggressively too. Shaking her head, she hadn’t realized that she was running out of time and the shock that followed stunned her enough that her knees buckled underneath her. Ahsoka cried out in pain and fell to her knees, shaking with the electric current going through her body. Once it was over, she sat there, on her hands and knees with her head bowed down, breathing heavy noises of pain. Before a second warning shock can come, a person swings onto the platform behind her. Ahsoka quickly gets up and to the edge of the platform in a defensive position. The person was a jazbinan male, with a vicious grin on his face. Ahsoka instinctively lowers herself in an almost predatory position and the jazbinan  mimics her. They circle each other, watching the other’s every move. Something about this whole thing feels eerily familiar though, and Ahsoka thinks back to Wasskah, where she had been taken by the Trandoshans to be hunted for sport. It puts her in a high drive of fight or flight, and Ahsoka is certainly not someone to flee. 

Suddenly, the jazbinan lunges at her, though she manages to dodge most of the attack. He slips halfway off of the platform, but manages to grab her ankle and the edge, sweeping her off her feet. Ahsoka lands painfully hard on the platform and feels the jazbinan start clawing at her ankle, trying to get back up and throw her down. A fall from this height at an unfortunate angle would surely have a great chance at killing her. 

Panic overcomes her, it courses through her veins. This is too much like the hunt, the grip on her ankle eerily similar to that of one of the trandoshans back then. Images she can’t make out, feelings she thought were only memories drown her and she thinks back to the youngling; Kalifa. Her dying in Ahsoka’s arms. 

Before she knew it, she lunged at the jazbinan, practically bending in half to reach down to her ankle. Without being able to control herself, she sinks her fangs into the jazbinan’s wrist. Biting down, tearing away, feeling the tendons rip and blood spray out. It starts running down her chin as well and she can hardly hear the jazbinan yelling in pain. He lets go, hand instinctively shooting out to hold onto his chewed up wrist, making him fall backward and off the platform for good. Ahsoka thinks she heard a crack from below, but all she can see is Kalifa and the image of the jazbinan’s wrist hanging half off his arm. It felt like an eternity went by, but really it only took Ahsoka a few seconds to bend over the edge of the platform and watch with wide eyes as the jazbinan twitches and cries in pain. It is evident that he landed on his neck and is unable to get up, and there seems to be blood seeping out from underneath his head as well. His death doesn’t take long to come on either, though again, to Ahsoka it felt like an eternity. 

She sits there, breathing heavy and completely stunned into silence. The crowd roars in excitement, but she doesn’t register any of it. Ahsoka’s hands start to shake and she just sits there on her knees, hands in her lap, until she receives another shock. It momentarily snaps her out of her trance and she jumps off the platform, landing on her feet with her knees bent. Despite the jump being perfect, once she looks to the side, her knees start to wobble. Lying next to her, is the unmoving body of the jazbinan and suddenly, nausea climbs its way up her throat. She doesn’t throw up, but she thinks she is close to. 

Aware that danger is still all around, she gets up and turns away from the body. To her horror, she locks eyes with Obi-Wan. Having no idea what expression her face is doing, no idea what she’s feeling, she can’t bring herself to try and decipher Obi-Wan’s expression. The copper taste on her mouth is getting to be too much though and so she finally turns her head away, shamefully avoiding eye contact, and spits blood onto the ground. The padawan manages to suppress a shudder and finds that everything is spinning. The sound of the crowd is muffled to her montrals and Ahsoka is vaguely aware that she’s just standing there, where anyone could come and attack her. She feels herself floating further and further away, her body growing numb to her. 

Somewhere in the distance, someone is yelling her name, but she doesn’t react. A hand suddenly grabs her upper arm and she jumps, spinning around and baring her bloody fangs, an almost feral sound building in her throat. But luckily she realizes it’s only Rex before she lets it out and immediately closes her mouth. 

“We need to go,” Rex says, though Ahsola can see the concerned and questioning look in his eyes, mixed with something else she can’t quite make out. 

His hand is still on her upper arm and he starts pulling her with him slightly, until his words finally click in her head and she runs after him towards the suddenly open gate. It wasn’t the same one as the one they got in, but upon spotting dozens of clones standing around it, she felt her shoulders relax slightly. She distantly recognizes them as the Wolfpack, which means Master Plo must be close by. 

Ahsoka and Rex run through the dark underground tunnel, flanked by several clone troopers who fought off any guards trying to stop them. As soon as they reach the surface, they are submerged into a new chaos. People from the audience are running away, probably thinking about being arrested. There are more guards trying to stop them from escaping, but it’s no use. Ahsoka just follows Rex and ignores the way her chest is burning. 

They make it through the crowd and to the troop transports without an incident and Rex waits for Ahsoka to step on before he follows her. The young togruta is sure she would see several of the clone troopers in there staring at her if it wasn’t for their helmets. But she could certainly feel their looks, and she can’t really blame them for it. 

“Come on, sit down for a second,” Rex is next to her again and putting his gentle hands on her shoulders, pushing her down onto one of the crates. 

Ahsoka was very clearly still rather absent, as she had not noticed Rex grabbing a rag from somewhere and wetting it. He held it up to her face, silently asking for permission, and the young padawan just nodded her head. With steady hands he starts wiping the mostly dried blood off her lips, chin and neck. His touch was so gentle, so caring, but also careful. From time to time, Rex would glance up into Ahsoka’s eyes. It’s like she wasn’t even there, the way she was zoned out staring straight ahead.

“Here, drink some,” Rex says once he’s done, handing her a canteen filled with water. “Maybe rinse your mouth a little. You can spit it in the rag until we get back to the ship.”

Ahsoka nods in a detached sort of way but accepts the canteen and the rag Rex leaves in her lap. The cool water in her parched mouth is the first thing she really feels after what happened. Ahsoka keeps her eyes on the floor as she starts rinsing out her mouth and once the copper taste is mostly gone, she swallows several large gulps of water. 

As soon as the ship lands on the Resolute, Rex is at her side. He takes the rag and canteen and helps her up. With his hand ghosting over her upper back he guides her to the med-bay, knowing she wouldn’t go off her own volition. Still, feeling a bit more present now, Ahsoka has some things to say about it.

“I’m not even hurt, Rex,” she complains. 

“It’s protocol,” he simply says, glancing down at her. “And from all the adrenaline, maybe you got hurt but didn’t notice it. Either way, it’s important for Kix to give everyone a check up.”

Ahsoka doesn’t respond, just presses her lips into a tight line and keeps walking with her Captain. There was still blood on the front of her battledress and some spots of it down her leggings, but the majority of it was around her ankle. Where the jazbinan had held onto her. It did hurt slightly, but she was sure that was only because of the strong grip he had on her, so maybe her skin was a little bruised at most. 

It seems as though Rex had commed Kix at some point without Ahsoka noticing, because as soon as they make it to the med-bay he’s already there and ushering them inside. He walks over to an empty bed and pats it, causing Ahsoka to roll her eyes before sitting down on it. 

“I’ll just check you over real quick, Commander, then you can go,” Kix says, eyes lingering on Ahsoka’s bloody ankle. 

“Fine, but this is so unnecessary,” Ahsoka responds, crossing her arms. “I’m not even hurt.”

“Well, then this won’t take long,” Kix says, turning to the side to gather what he needed.

Rex is standing on the side with his arms crossed and Ahsoka spots a cut on his cheek. She frowns to herself, wondering how she hadn’t noticed it earlier. 

“Hey, Commander!” Someone calls from behind her and she turns around, spotting Jesse. “It’s so good to- what happened to you?!”

Ahsoka freezes, both at the question and at the sight of a cast around his wrist. She remembers the jazbinan’s wrist, right after she had torn into it. Images of his dead body float around in her head. His twisted neck, the way his hand and flesh hung limply from his wrist bone, the blood flooding out. The same blood she’s covered in.

“The blood isn’t mine,” she speaks up, tongue heavy as she is overcome by nausea. “The blood isn’t mine. 

Kix seems to have noticed the nauseated look on her face and quickly pushes a small, steel bowl into her hands. Mere seconds before Ahsoka’s body shakes, her mouth filling with saliva and throat spasming as she gags and throws up. Tears burn in her eyes and there’s a comforting hand on her back, but as soon as she sees the redness of her vomit, she is triggered into throwing up yet again. The fact that she swallowed the jazbinan’s blood runs in her thoughts on an endless loop, only making her throw up a third time. Not much had come out, mainly it was stomach acid mixed with blood, since she hadn’t eaten anything ever since they were captured. The tears are rolling freely down her cheeks now, mostly from the burning in her throat and the acidic taste in her mouth. Someone presses a slightly wet rag into her hand and she shakily brings it up to wipe her lips and chin clean. Somewhere from her right, a hand gently wipes away the wetness on her cheeks, but her vision is still blurred from the tears so she can’t make out who it is. The rag is removed from her hand again and a mug of water is pressed into it instead. Although Ahsoka’s hands are shaking, she lifts it up to her lips and takes a few sips, rinsing her mouth with them and spitting it into the bowl. Once the taste of vomit and blood is mostly cleared from her mouth again, she drinks until the mug is empty. Her vision is clear again and she watches as Kix takes the mug from her hand and picks up the vomit filled bowl from her lap, leaving the room. Ahsoka’s breathing is still slightly heavy and she finally realizes it is Rex who was sitting next to her with his hand rubbing soothing circles between her shoulder blades. He sends her a warm expression, not quite a smile and with worry shining in his eyes, but comforting nonetheless. 

The door opens again and Kix re-enters the med bay, but with Anakin following behind him. It was obvious Kix hadn’t brought him — Anakin had clearly brought himself, and Kix looked more than a little annoyed about it. 

“Is it alright if I take a look at your ankle?” The medic asks and Ahsoka nods wordlessly. “Alright, scoot back a bit for me, and lift your ankle up here.”

She does as she’s told, leaning against the wall at the head of the bed and propping her leg up onto the bed. Kix starts looking over her ankle, meanwhile Ahsoka makes the mistake of looking over at Anakin, who had been uncharacteristically quiet. Their eyes lock and she almost immediately turns her head away again, opting to look down at the white sheets underneath her. 

“I’m so sorry, Commander, I didn’t mean to… uh, well, I’m not really sure what happened or why, but I’m so sorry,” Jesse says, coming up to her from the other side of the bed. 

“It’s alright,” she says, shaking her head slightly. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Her voice sounds raw and monotone and a miserable smile makes its way onto her face, not looking as reassuring as she had hoped. Jesse still had the same mix of a concerned and apologetic frown on his face. Ahsoka looks back down at the sheets. 

Kix had taken off her boot and carefully rolled up her leggings to her knee. His touch was gentle and professional, but also surprisingly soft. 

“Everyone, please leave if you’re not here for medical attention,” he tells Rex, Anakin and Jesse. “You’re crowding me.”

Ahsoka could tell there was some other reason for him sending them out, and she wondered what it was. Jesse and Rex immediately headed for the door, only shooting her a few caring looks before leaving. But Anakin stayed where he was, arms crossed. 

“You too, General,” Kix says. 

“Why? I’m her Master,” Anakin says. “I just want to know if she’s okay.”

“And you will know, once you leave and I am able to do my job without distractions,” Kix deadpans. “You know you’ll be the first to know, General.”

Anakin hesitated, looking over at Ahsoka. The look on her face made his heart clench and he sighed, running a hand down his face. 

“Fine,” he mumbles, leaving the room while grumbling to himself. 

“Commander,” Kix says, redirecting Ahsoka’s attention back to him. “Your ankle is a bit scratched up, nothing too bad though.”

He watches her face fall slightly, looking at her with a thoughtful expression. As though he were contemplating something. Ahsoka was about to ask him to just spit it out when he opened his mouth. 

“There seem to be some… similar looking scars underneath the wounds,” he says carefully. “Do they have anything to do with what happened?”

The padawan avoids his gaze and simply nods, clasping her hands together in her lap to stop herself from fidgeting with her fingers. 

“Can you tell me about it?” Kix asks, and Ahsoka hesitates. “I don’t mean to pressure you, but it’s either me or the mind healers.”

He pauses and seems to think it over for a second before adding; “Or General Skywalker. Actually, Rex would probably work as well. It’s entirely up to you.”

Ahsoka chews on the inside of her cheek, mulling it over without looking at him. It wasn’t really a big deal, what happened with the trandoshans could be found in a report somewhere anyway. It’s better if she just gets it over with and tells him, Ahsoka decides. 

“Some time ago, I was captured during the battle of Felucia,” Ahsoka starts. “I’m sure you might’ve heard about it.”

She watches Kix’s face very closely, but he doesn’t confirm or deny, so she just continues. “These trandoshans that captured me took me to Wasskah, where I was released into the wild with the other prisoners to be hunted and killed by the trandoshans for sport. I met three other Jedi there, or well, they were still only younglings when they were taken. But we stuck together and worked to get out of there. One of them was killed.”

Ahsoka lowers her head, staring down at her hands. “Kalifa was her name. I stopped one of the trandoshans from killing her, only for her to be shot either way.”

Tears were building in Ahsoka’s eyes yet again and she stubbornly pushed them down. “And then today… we were captured and brought into this large arena. There were people watching us fighting to death. They wanted us to kill each other for no reason other than entertainment.”

She speaks of it with such disgust and anger, spitting out the word ‘entertainment’ with hatred. It wasn’t very Jedi-like of her at all, but she let herself, because what does Kix really know about Jedi customs and beliefs? Talking about it to a non-Jedi had been a good idea, as she felt she didn’t have to hold back on how much what happened bothered her. 

“There was a jazbinan man who attacked me on top of this sort of high up platform. I almost threw him over the edge, but he managed to hold onto it and my leg. I’m not sure what happened, but it just… it brought me back to Wasskah,” Ahsoka explains quietly. “And I… I don’t know why, I can’t even fully remember doing it, but I just… something snapped in me and suddenly all I could think of was surviving and fighting, and I… I bit his wrist. Or, well, actually, I sort of took a chunk out of it. Just ripped it open with m-my teeth.”

This time around, Ahsoka was unable to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks. Her body started shaking, but she tried her best to contain it and control her breathing. She didn’t look up at Kix once.

“I-I dug into him l-like an a-animal,” her voice cracks and wobbles and it takes everything in her to not start sobbing right then and there. “I know there’s already so much s-stigma about my people being nothing more than a-animals, that we’re violent a-and dangerous, but we’re not! We’re not, and I feel like I’m letting everyone down. I feel so… he didn’t deserve that. I didn’t mean to kill him.”

Her face crumbles completely and she buries it in her hands, pressing her lips tightly together to stay quiet. The hard, thin mattress of the bed only dips down ever so slightly when Kix sits down, but Ahsoka still feels it. 

“Ahsoka,” his use of her name made her look up at him, despite tears still flowing from her eyes. “You did what you had to do to survive. You should never be ashamed of that.”

“I didn’t have to do that though,” Ahsoka sniffles. “I could’ve just fought him off, kept him away from me. But I decided to… to bite him.”

“It’s not your fault,” Kix says firmly, yet gently. “You were in a high-stress, life or death situation and on top of that, you were triggered to think about another life or death situation you’ve experienced in the past. None of it is your fault, you did what you had to do.”

Ahsoka goes quiet, having stopped crying. She sits, fumbling with her hands in her lap and seems to think over his words. Eventually, she takes a deep breath and looks up at Kix, nodding slightly. 

“Alright, you’re right,” she says hesitantly.

If he was confused about her sudden switch of emotions, he hid it very well. He sends her a soft smile and gets back up to grab a tub of bacta cream and bandages. Ahsoka watches him take care of her ankle and pulls down her pant leg again once he’s done. The thick, stark white bandages create a bump under the fabric of her leggings and peeks out through the rips in it. 

“Thanks, Kix,” she says, still deep in thought as she runs her fingers over it. 

“No problem, Commander,” he answers. “Stay here, get some rest. I’ll get Jesse to fetch you something to eat from the mess hall.”

Ahsoka nods and reaches for the folded up blanket at the end of the bed, draping it over herself and lying down. Kix steps away and pulls the curtains around the bed shut. They shut out most of the bright, white light of the med-bay and give her a sense of privacy. Even though she isn’t too sure about what Kix told her, and she still feels ashamed, she decides she’ll deal with that shame and self-hatred after a nap. She wonders if she’ll taste the jazbinan’s blood in the food Jesse will bring her, or if she’ll start crying again once she washes her clothes of his blood. If Anakin will want to know what happened, if Obi-Wan will want to talk to her about what he saw. But for now, she can ignore all of that. For now, she’ll just go to sleep.