#awww time went by so fast wtf i miss those two :(

[v-hope]

girl i been thinking abt how i used to wait for belong updates rn last yr it used to be so thrilling i miss it :( ily!<3 hru?? i hope ure doing well!!

what do you mean it's been two years since belong started and nearly a year since it ended 🧍🏻‍♀️

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

ok bhah ch11 my longest yeah boi ever

i’m literally... so excited I can’t even read it ok ok

oh no not the wedding invitations not this

i swear to god if we have to go through this wedding. knifeemoji

listen I have a fear that we’re gonna get the break up and the car accident same as canon dear god don’t put us through that either

no fears *literally everything that could make bhah more painful* several fears dot meme

god not the jamie invite. she cant even do it. another sign from god you are choosing to ignore

straight to Jamie’s house oh

lmao the red door I just worked out that’s a hill house reference from when I was wondering in like ch3(?) lol the inner workings of my dumbass brain never stop

“can we talk?” it’s happening what is happening

Dani was so tired of lying oh my god

my heart is literally beating so fast

alone in Jamie’s room bro wtf wtf

Jamie is just so soft and understanding always always aaaahhhhh

fuck she just wants out of this wedding so bad but she can’t even tell him

AAAHHH SHE KISSED HER OH MY GOD IT’S HAPPENING

fuck fgkjhdfkjgh this is not good oh no. Dani finally finally fucking doing something for herself and Jamie so aware that this cannot be happening like this right now

and yet both of them just falling into it anyway oh my goddddd

jesus christ jesus christ “Dani had half crawled into Jamie’s lap, kissing her with a fierce and fervent heat” I am on deaths door

god they’ve both wanted this for so so so so long I can’t believeeeeee

(i am so thrilled that y’all just went there right away btw)

“Please, just - I just want to feel how I’m supposed to.” oucchhhh Dani

god her just... knowing. after one kiss w Jamie that she can finally do it and talk to him and end it and it’s so terrifying but goddd yes

“You think I can ever say no to you?” oof

“Ask,” Jamie breathed. “Ask me.” fucking fuck the power of this line oh my god Jamie is so fucking ready to jump of a bridge for her it’s- the dedication the love the longing the everything I am going insane is it too early to start drinking at 1pm

you’re not you can’t NOT THE CANON DINER SCENE

fuck this is like watching a car crash i can’t look away it’s so fucking visceral and nerve-wracking and painful

but god I’m so proud of her for finally saying what she wants

oh thank fuck y’all didn’t take him out with a passing delivery truck

“You must have known. You know me.” oh god this sentiment always kills me

“She couldn’t say it — the words ‘I’m gay’ forever out of reach — so instead she said, “I can’t.”” my whole body is on fire oh my god this is.... too fucking real

jesus christ the near miss w the truck are u trying to kill me (i actually kind of love that Dani will have to deal w her feelings w him face to face instead of having to bury it all in grief like in canon I am so excited to see how y’all handle that)

a fucking HOUR in the car dfkjghdfkjh the torture

oh honey. literally both of them suffering so much ouch

her favourite saucepan pls this is all so awful and sad but that make me laugh so much the poor confused little duck I am glad she has her comforts

god poor Dani

"Is she here to cook something?"  fgkjdhfkgjhfkjgdf

“No. I think you’re brave.” oh

“We’ll figure it out." listen listen I am undoubtedly losing my mind god this is soft

“She had spent so long being asked and not asking. Never asking. She never dared. To ask was to be known, to be made visible, words forging reality as surely as a smith’s hammer. And yet Jamie waited, letting Dani gather the courage herself.

"Can I -?" Dani said, "- stay?"” please fuck I am just so !!!!!!!! about Dani getting to know what she wants and having a fucking voice. just !!!!!!!!

“Jamie inviting her in” fucking just both of them finally getting some of that quiet courage w each other I am yelling so much

“Dani knew that it wasn't just her feeling this, that it had never just been her.” YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT BABEY

““But you do?” Dani asked. “Want to?”

Jamie’s answering laugh was brief and incredulous. “You have no idea.”” I AM: HOOTIN. AND: HOLLERIN

“I am here” hello? hello I am not coping I am on another plane of existence. DANI FINALLY FEELING SO PRESENT AND WHOLE IN THIS MOMENT

god they’re just holding each other i’m tearing up. Jamie is her home

Dani finally sleeping through the night ow my fucking heart

Mikey’s so chill about all of this sdkdhfdkj I love him

Jamie going out n buying her favourite jam... god the tenderness. love is stored in the strawberry jam and the hairdryer

hmmmmm her attraction to Jamie is so closely tied to a lot of really hard feelings this is gonna take a bit to work through huh???

aw Jamie going to Carson I am so happy she has her little band of gays to help her rn

I love that she can just kiss her now when she gets the urge like maybe chill out a lil just landing all these surprise kisses but like good for u girl. good for both of u

the warmth of the house hmmmmm I love that she’s found this esp because she is perpetually cold and Jamie is always warm but keeps it like that for the kid (and probably for Dani too) aaahhhh

cgjkdfhkjgh Dani is so thirsty poor Jamie trying to keep them in check. these moments are so fucking loaded holy shit

Dani Jamie and Mikey are the cuuutest lil family aw

god the tentativeness between them trying to figure this all out and the casual intimacy and just. all of it is so much and so beautiful to watch unfold

i love this little bubble inside Jamie’s house and Jamie kind of drawing the curtains around them both physically and metaphorically while she lets Dani figure things out and lets it settle between them

it’s all about the hands

oh my god Hannah instantly asking if she needs a place to stay she really is the best

soft little mornings with her Jamie like... once Dani finally defeats the ball of guilt in her chest there is so much goodness to look forward to and I am v glad she has that right now even as she is still struggling a bit. my girl needs all the sweetness in her life

also the idea of Jamie getting to wake up to sleeping Dani in her bed every morning after a lifetime of trying to repress her feelings... god

heh she’s already figuring out all the ways to push Jamie’s buttons god these two are going to have some fun w each other

this idea of learning the creaking floorboards of a new home is so... warm

Jamie leaving all the curtains drawn for her oh my heart keeping her safe keeping her safe

Nan would be so proud of ms Dani u know it’s true

awww Mikey comin home to keep her company

Mikey Dani time is always so sweet I love them

my god Dani n Jamie are so intense w each other and just so full of fucking desire... when those floodgates finally open will they even survive

oof Dani is dealing with soooo much ugh. Jamie always there with a gentle way to bring her back down to earth tho my hearrrtttt

“You’re allowed to be happy.” she is SHE IS ty Jamie Taylor voice of reason

a pinky promise to deal with everything together awwww

“why are you so good to me” “you know why” oh my goddddddd. that’s so soft that’s so gentle that’s so much love

Dani finding little bits in herself in media god i love this

Dani Mikey hours best hours

god Carson... sweet boy. And Judy sending over a whole bunch of food oof just. these quiet little reminders of their love for her. Dani’s about to go through a whole bunch more emotions huh?

fkjdfkjgfh Mikey going into protector mode when Carson is there pls i love hm

ohmy “our room” aaaaaaahhhhh

god Dani expecting him to be upset with her I am so fucking emotional. I relate far too much to Dani in canon and in this story and it’s just. painful as hell to see someone go through the things you know hurt the most holy shit

please Carson is so sweet and understanding and telling her he’s proud of her is making me cry so much I can barely see

this whole like.. uncomfortable but relief-filled kind of coming out between her and Carson is so so beautifully done I can’t stop fucking crying

“God, you two were agony to watch.”  fglkdfgkjdfhkjgh Carson a voice of the people

“You deserve to be happy.” - Carson and also me and also everyone reading this

god he is so wonderful!!!!!! this reminder that she’s not alone and everything will be ok!!!!!!! Carson I love you so much

the box being described as “the beating heart of their childhood“ god the imagery

Jamie so sweetly making room for her and welcoming her into a home I am emotional again the tears have really been unlocked now I’m gonna be a mess the whole rest of this chapter (i say as if I haven’t been already)

the really sweet way Jamie gets her to open up and trust her with the things that have been on her mind

and Dani doing the same for her god this gentle honest space between them makes my heart feel so full I am just so happy that they’ve got each other

“I want you to stay.” please (also now I’m thinking about AE putting Stay on her Jamie playlist jesus christ I am being tortured)

they get... to wake up.... in bed together. i’m so close to crying again when will this stop

i kind of love there hasn’t really been any like... just no more kissing u know but we still get this insane intimacy between them in a way that’s not them shying away from the way they want each other but so carefuly and sweetly and honestly coming towards each other

awww them always waking up all tangled is so cuuute (also Dani feeling so safe and comfy with her that her subconscious is like lets latch on she is good she is home)

lmao Dani having to mediate between these two dweebs and their playfights is so good

Jamie having her lil family surrounding her aww

(also i just noticed the rating change oh god)

sfkjfhdg Jamie looking at her hips all dark eyes and wanting we’ve all been there girl

“you can look” BOLD DANI MY BELOVED

god these two........ the grabbing her silver chain god @ google how to breathe properly??????

“Then show me.” oh my god

fkgjhdfkj so much electricity they shorted out the power

“this is just as nice” when they’re just hugging please they are so soft

i love that there’s just like... gentle soft banter between them in these quiet moments so much

“Dani, give him more homework.”  ghrfjkhjgkjgh

god the heated cheek kiss

this ‘game of chicken’ god they’re just.... really in it huh this is so fun

hmmm Dani going through the suitcases and sort of being able to bring some of herself/her past into this new place is so nice

heh this lil family and their snowfights are so cute

:( she can’t bring herself to eat Judy’s food

Jamie bringing her flowers oh soft

ugh they’re just so softly melting into being together it’s so sweeeeeeeet

“You’re lovely.” and the way Jamie just sinks into her with Dani’s fingers in her hair pleeease I am dying this is so warm

aaaahhhh they’re dancing soft soft soft

“gray eyes fluttered closed, as though the weight of Dani’s touch was too much to bear” god i am..... aaaahhhh

“a gentle calm settling within her. It had seemed that for all her life she had waited for the quiet of this” y’all this is so beautiful and lovely and wonderful and all the good things

ah that kiss. kinda feels like their first real kiss where they just get to be god I am so happy “a profound sense of finally” oh oh oh that’s such a pretty concept

god I love how much they just want each other that second kiss and them just all over each other is perfect and having to try and reel that in and being able to because they know it’s not going anywhere please it’s so so good

god Dani vs Desert Hearts I love this callback and the entirely different circumstances of her watching it again

dsjfhdkjfh oh no Dani losing her mind at Jamie touching her knee god these two have got the biggest storm coming

dfkdjhkgdjh god them like.... trying to take things slow but still letting things happen while having to be aware of Mikey is so funny but I kinda love it and how indicative it all is of them being so grown up and able to approach their relationship in such a mature way. as much as I wish they’d had their teenage love story I do like that it’s unfolding this way now.

“it struck Dani then that she couldn’t remember ever laughing while doing this.” aww

Mikey’s “oh gross” hahahaha poor kid

god this is so funny

“ferret kid” jamie why are u like this sfkjhdfkjf

oh lordt it seems we have reached the unabashedly horny phase good show ol’ chaps

god they’re still so soft tho this is so fun to read

i looove how flustered they both make each other w just their presence. it’s just so !!!!!!

lmao Dani knowing exactly what to do to drive Jamie insane is fdkgfdkjgh perfect amazing show stopping more neck kisses more teasing more barely restrained desire i love it

“the reckless rush of being in each other’s arms” AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

lmaooooo Mikey Jamie is going to lock you outside if u keep doing this

the fact it can just fade back to comfortable companionship too is like. ugh i love them together

“Yeah. You can touch me whenever you want.” oh jesus

“No more interruptions, no more waiting, no more holding back.” it’s happening god it’s happening everyone stay calm (also the slow build to this point has been so fucking perfect y’all are writerly geniuses)

lmao Dani is like please can we just get naked why do u want to watch a movie I am literally right here

oh she is not waiting anymore THAT’S MY GIRL GO GET EVERYTHING YOU’VE EVER WANTED I LOVE YOU

“What do you want?” god the tension

aaaaahhhhh just. them being so out of their minds with want but still all nervous and wanting to check in but still just. wanting this so much god this is *chef’s kiss*

lmao Dani already having the hair pulling thing figured out is so good. poor Jamie lol is she even going to survive this

god the fact they’re both still fully clothed n still getting this fucked up just making out n grinding on each other I love this for them

mum just came in to tell me dinner is ready I AM ALREADY EATIN GOOD

lmao fuck I am just... so thrilled for Dani finally getting to experience this get ur whole world rocked baby u deserve this

thumb in her mouth i-

“my idiot” pls that’s so soft

“You have me.” i know this is like. horny but it’s also so romantic sfgkjhdfkjg

ayoooo Jamie’s tattoo excuse me while I lose my mind a lil bit

my god Dani is so impatient to get her naked I love her for it so much “I just want to feel you”... ma’am

Jamie being all nervous is so cute aw

god having this lil moment where they just call each other beautiful n get all cute about it while they’re fully naked n grinding on each other.... perfection

god I can’t stop thinking about every other mention of Dani having sex w Eddie and it just being like adequate or like her not letting him touch her and now LOOK AT MY BABY GO SHE’S REALLY HAVIN THE TIME OF HER LIFE LITERALLY BEGGING TO BE TOUCHED LET’S GO LESBIANS LET’S GO

I feel like I’m like cheering Jamie on rn sfjkghdfkj u guys need anything? some snacks? a condom?? ur doing great!!

Dani crying and thanking her like this is an acceptance speech love that for her

Jamie kissing all over her face aww

I can’t believe this whole chapter is them just getting to fall in love for real

“I want to taste you” i am blushing goddamn Jamie get it

oh my god the dream. she’s literally living out her dreams

“that same focused intensity that could make kingdoms fall” I love that Jamie is just as into getting Dani off as Dani is getting off lmao GOOD FOR THEM

Dani: desperately tryin to get Jamie off. Jamie: are u sure u want to tho??? miss ma’am let the girl touch u already she deserves it (but i do love that she’s always just like.... never wanting to make Dani do anything she doesn’t wholeheartedly want to)

“You sitting here on top of me like this is doing more for me than you can imagine.”  iconic jamie moment

Jamie literally just like.... ‘you can do whatever you want to figure this out’ is so sweet I love her capacity for just. giving herself over to Dani in every way (not just the horny ones) to let her forge her own path

“It was easy to understand now, the exhilaration of it, why people went crazy for it.” god I love this for her so much everything just falling into place

they’re so soft n comfy together and it’s all just so right and lovely

i love that once they’ve started they basically can’t stop honestly get it girls u deserve all the orgasms

“When did you know?” “Sixteen years.” oof my heart she’s known the whole time aaahhhh. all these lil memories god it really was all out of love I could cry. and Jamie admitting the scarf/scar thing whew she really carried around that moment on her face for the whole world to see (also lol at Dani being so fixated on it this whole time that’s so perfect)

heh they’re so cute with their lil teasing banter exchange

lol goddamn this so so spicy I am just dfklghfjkdjghkjdf (that is to say well fucking done I can’t even speak rn)

Jamie just being like you could literally just look at me and I am turned on I... love this whole situation for her so much

god they’re really just going all in Dani is getting like the.... lesbian sex speed run amen

oh god not Karen on the phone just hang up Dani do it do it

god she is so evil

omg she told her abt Jamie go off Dani I am v v proud of u right now

and she hung up on her godbless babe i LOVE your audacity

heh Jamie so transfixed by Dani’s lil purple sweater and skirt I love her

Dani u are such a tease sfkgjdfkg good 4 u tbh

awwww she got Dani’s desk for her oh my god that’s so lovely

Dani n Jamie being entirely not subtle over dinner w their lingering glances and Carson just laughing at them fkjghdkfjgh i love it. he’s so happy for them even w his teasing aw

aaahhh i just love Jamie giving her this space and this room in the house and Dani feeling so right in it

oooh an almost “I love you” god they’re just fuckin u-haulin in love perfection huh

and now we’re back to horny hours love this for them. gotta bless that desk somehow huh!?

i love the mentions of all this soft stuff about belonging when they’re about to rail each other it really rounds it out emotionally

“Get on your knees.” OH MY GOD THE JAMIE ON HER KNEES REDEMPTION MOMENT IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING

HELL YEAH IT IS this is truly what we all deserve

oh my god literally ripping her clothes off her fuck i love how desperate they are for each other and just how into this they both are always

dfgkjdfh jesus Dani are u ever going to be able to get work done at this desk again after Jamie does.... all of this to u on it

“Good girl.” the single most powerful sentence in the lesbian language

jesus christ this is still so incredibly steamy sdflkhskhg it never ends. and them like.... experiementing a bit w some different um. approaches? lol good 4 them good 4 them (and us)

my god them instantly getting all soft after about making each other happy please they’re so dang cute

ok love that we are also getting Dani on her knees it’s equality.gif

this little “I like you” “I like you too” confession right now is... so fucking soft and like... after everything they’ve gone through they still have the power to kinda knock each other off their feet w lil things like this huh?? sappy lil shits

oh no Judy I am scared

holy shit Dani “Didn't think you'd love me anymore” owwww my heart

god Judy is such a good mama I love her so much. reassuring her she’s still a part of the family my god I am so emo. she loves her so much

aw I love this lil shared bathroom scene after so many awkward moments w Dani and Eddie in their bathroom and so many mentions of her fogged reflection. things are finally clear and it’s wonderful!!

lol Jamie well if u didn’t want Dani to get all horny u shouldn’t have worn suspenders!!!!! it’s simple math!

god Dani has changed so much this chapter which only takes place over a couple of weeks right?!?!? after so much anxiety and being so unsure of herself this is so fucking beautiful to see

stop the car thing oh my godddd. she doesn’t even care about having her own cause she’s so happy w the person she’s sharing with I’m so overwhelmingly happy

“You’re perfect.” please I will cry this chapter was so perfect (also so are the memes I cackled so much)

[yakumtsaki]

I taste just like ice cream, bitch I am so icy, heart cold like an ice queen, that's why they don't like me 🎵

-What the hell was that.

Traditionally I start Union updates with semi-relevant song lyrics.

-Why did you start an update at all.

Because it’s time, Shajar! I took a holy oath in my 2020 simming goals post to update Unions once a month, and I’m already a month late.

-But nothing interesting is happening. 

That’s never stopped me before. Now listen to Rico Nasty, cry some more about Sophie blowing you off, and shut up.

-Ugh please, I couldn’t be more over Sonia if I tried. I hardly ever texted her links to wedding pinterest boards and quizzes to determine if our parenting styles are compatible. 

Did she ever reply? 

-She did once and said ‘who dis’. Of course the letters unscrambled spell out ‘do wish’, meaning she did wish me to keep messaging her. I just don’t know where it all went wrong. 

-Hey there, 17 year old girl, maybe you’ve had enough neat whiskey for the night? We’re actually running out of bottles. 

-Beat it, ponytail, I need to dull my pain. I’ve just been stabbed right in the gut by the love of my life. Just like my style idol and general role model, space opera fascist Kylo Ren.

Shaj I really hate seeing you like this, and not just because the red neon light is super unflattering on your complexion.

-You can fuck right off too, I was perfectly happy with my dads who hate me and my imbecile sister and my brother who might as well not exist, noogie-ing people all day AND night long, but you had to be all ‘OMG IT’S SOPHIE MIGUEL SHAJAR GO TALK TO HER’. Life-ruining-moron. 

But I was totally right about you two hitting it off, I mean look how sad you are now that she dumped- yea never mind, that’s not a good argument.

-Look what I can do even though I’ve had 46 whiskeys!! How you like me now, Sophie???

-You’re paying for all these broken glasses, I’m going to need your name and a credit card.

-Yes, fair enough, my name is Cyneswith Union-

-I LOOK GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT

Yea, you really should eat something to soak up all the alcohol. And not to kick you when you’re down, but you should also disregard all those cliches about ~a smile being the most beautiful thing you can wear~ because MAN. Watch out Joaquin, there’s a new Joker on the prowl. 

-So.. 20 lobsters thermidor and our most expensive appetizers?

-Aha.

-Would you mind settling your bill now?

-Of course not! My name is Cyneswith Union and this is the credit card my parents got me when I was 6 because we’re super duper best friends! I love my parents! They don’t care about their other daughter at all, even when their other daughter is going through a really hard time because she got the emotional equivalent of a lightsaber wound in the gut. You know what, let me also get 20 bottles of your most overpriced champagne to go with the lobsters.

Feeling better?

-Well it’s hard to feel bad when you’re spending your parents’ money recklessly and with malice aforethought.

It sure is. Alright well, the sun is coming up, maybe we should head home.

-What’s the rush? What is going to happen if I don’t go home, my parents will get worried? LOL

God your life sucks. Ok let’s hit a couple more places.

-Greetings. Welcome to our establishment. I am a human employee from this planet.

Great, nice to meet you.

-I just want there to be no doubt that I am indeed an earthling, born and raised under the earth’s exosphere and not above it.

Leave us alone.

-And I’m the resident community lot sim with that one face template you hate! There must be one of us on every lot you visit!

-And I am here in my revealing outfit to use the dance sphere and make everyone uncomfortable!

You’re actually pretty, I need to keep you in mind for after Don Oates takes a wrecking ball to our genetics, but yea, let’s bounce, Shajar.

Time to visit the happiest place on earth, Deh'Javu Modern Art Museum, home to my favorite piece of art in any medium, The Toilet of Fire. Shove that Fountain up your ass, Duchamp. How we feeling, Shaj?

-This trash can reminds of Sophie :( She used to go around town throwing money she stole from charities in trash cans and then send them riddles for where to find them :(

Enough with Sophie, we’ll find you someone better! Like..

..your aunt! Get the hell out of here Brit Brit, you’re taking up townie space. 

-I won’t be long, Gunther’s amazing close-up portrait of my hair was rejected by the museum so I’m here to set this shithole on fire. 

In other words Gunther just painted a canvas black and called it a day?

-His art doesn’t cater to plebs. Yes, offense.

Our old friend Ugly Teen Townie is here so finally we can have some fun. Shajar had gone almost 12 hours(!) without noogieing someone and I was starting to worry for her health.

-Yes, yes, I’m starting to feel like myself again..

Good for you, Shaj!

-Hope you’ve made peace with your God, Ugly Teen Townie, this water balloon is filled with horse feces! 

-WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET HORSE SHIT

-I ordered it from some guy named Leod McGreggor.

-How about a another joke, MuRRAY?

-What?!

-Now you say, ‘no, I think we’ve had enough of your jokes’. Say it!

-No, I think we’ve had enough of your jokes.

-What do you get when you cross a mentally-ill loner with a society that abandons him and treats him like trash? Now you say ‘call the police, Gene!’

-Call the police, Gene!

-I'll tell you what you get..

-YOU GET WHAT YOU FUCKING DESERVE. HAHA oh man! Good stuff. 

Alright I’m starting to feel bad for Ugly Teen Townie, first he had to come to all the toddler birthday parties during the Victoria/Komei era and now this, he has suffered enough at this family’s hands. Time to go home, Shaj.

-Not so fast!

Wow, the Countess and Mrs. Crumplebottom on the same lot, top 10 anime crossovers.

-I have been sent here by the Limp Dick Vamps United organization to recruit Shajar Union.

Ugh you people are still around? Haven’t heard of you losers since the Count wouldn’t let Victoria bang him, which I’m still annoyed about. 

-Indeed we are, and it’s clear Shajar is ready to join us, dedicating her life to evil deeds without romantic distractions. I have no idea what Crumplebottom is doing here.

-I’m here to recruit Shajar to my own organization, Bitter Sims Worldwide Alliance. We’re always on the lookout for new members who want to spread their misery to their fellow Sim. 

It sounds like it’d be more effective if you guys just merged your organizations.

-I will NEVER merge my organization with someone who displays her bosom like a common whore. 

-Eat a dick, Crumplebottom!

-MAKE ME, FANGTOOTH

-Alright here I am, what the fuck do you want?

-Shajar, it is a pleasure to meet you! Ardent admirer of your work.

-What work, freakshow?

-Torturing everyone around you, what else!

-What? I don’t torture people around me, if anything they torture me.

-Why don’t you talk to me about it?

-I’d rather not, you look like a bejeweled snowman.

-Look deep into my eyes, Shajar..

-And now look deep into my razor sharp teeth..

-Ugh fine, let’s talk. 

-Is that Victoria and Komei’s teen granddaughter hanging out with a vampire?

Yes it is Kennedy, keep it moving.

-God, wtf is wrong with this family. 

Nothing now that you’ve been removed from our social circle, go away! Just kidding, you’re an icon and I’m marrying you in at some point. 

-Hard pass. 

Your loss, hombre. 

-It definitely isn’t.

-If I had known your turn on was vampires I would had set you two up!

STOP SETTING UP TEENS WITH ADULTS, LAKSHMI. And Shajar’s turn ons isn’t vampires, it’s fitness/fatness. Body positive queen. 

-Well, Shajar, you alphabetically listing all the people who have wronged you while I was trying to kill Crumplebottom telepathically has made for a very productive conversation. We’ll be in touch. 

-Thanks, Countess, it’s been real.

Shajar!!! Who cares about Sophie when you might bag a hot, rich vamp??

-Meh.

I’m gonna need you to be more excited about this prospect because a vampire spouse might just be enough of a draw to beat the comedic factor of fucking Don Oates turning us into an unintentional uglacy and I’m doing whatever I can to avoid my fate.

Ugh.

UGH

UGHHHHHHH

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO VICTORIA

-GET FUCKED, BROKEN FACED WEIRDO

God I miss you Vic 💔

-Donnie-bear, not to be not-nice, but mopping your pee off my front lawn is not exactly what I pictured doing during this date.

This guy won’t even mop up his own piss, what a catch.

Wow, manipulative much?? You are a piss piece of work, Donaldo.

-Don’t think we forgot about you, you 10-nice-point disgrace!

-VICTOR NO

-GET THAT MOP READY

-Finally, some peace and quiet.. Just me, alone with my broken heart, pondering my hopeless, loveless future..

-💗💗💗OMG SIS THERE YOU ARE. DONNIE AND I MADE OUT!!! 💗💗💗 But then grandma’s ghost scared him into soiling himself. 

-Good for grandma, hopefully next time she gives him a stroke. Now shut up and let’s eat in silence while I ponder my hopeless, loveless future.

-Okie dokie! 💗💗💗

-Um, I think mine has vomit in it.

-Yea I did that, but it’s just whiskey and lobster, if anything it increased in value. 

-Awww thanks sis! 💗💗💗

-Stop patronizing me, you little bitch. God I want to poke your eye out with this chopstick so badly.

-I love you too Shaj! 💗💗💗

And I hate both of you. Where’s your brother, I haven’t paid attention to him in 3 days. 

-He went upstairs, I think he’s pusshurt we forgot his birthday LOL

IT’S HIS BIRTHDAY????

-Don’t feel bad, I forgot it too! 💗💗💗

GODDAMMIT. WULF! WULF WHERE ARE YOU

-I’m here, I just grew up and dare I say it could not have gone better! 

Really?? Finally some good news! Let me look upon you-

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

WULF WHAT THE FUCK

-I was Mozart musical genius boy but now I’m a sk8ter boi! Character development!

Ok this is the most iconic birthday look since Gunther grew up in the pirate costume, we’re obviously keeping it. 

-Great! And as if the fact I’m a Wyatt face template with 0 Jojo genes wasn’t enough to make me unelectable, I also rolled family! :D I’m doing everything I can to ensure I live that sweet motherlode spare life! 

Honestly you should had picked another outfit cause now that you’re dressed like this I unironically want you to win. Hoisted with your own petard.

[riskeith]

hi babe, hope you slept well.. ♥️

answering on the phone is just *takes screenshots* *opens tumblr app* *switch between screenshots and answering* do you also put on my messages on the laptop and answering with your phone usually, because that’s what i do lmao sjshdks. thank god for technology.

(I LOVE BEING CALLED BRO.. i believe that i would’ve been a dudebro in another life tbh..) there is? i’m not super immersed in the fandom actually so i had no idea, do you have any examples? ofc only if you wanna talk about it i know these topics can sometimes be annoying to think about. also you’re right! ‘don’t like don’t read’ is the law. follow it. i can’t believe how some people have the nerve to talk about what other people do creatively... yikes

you should if you ever find yourself not knowing what to read! i think their fics were some of my first in the fandom and they set the bar so high hehe. dude i love how oikawa just wants to see kageyama burn it’s so funny..... he’s so cocky about it while kageyama’s just his moody self. speaking of; one of my fave fics of yours is the swapping jerseys one!

WTF 😭 BABY POOLS AND POOL FLOATIES..... razor please come back to us please. sidenote but do you also think that his powers are 5 star level? hes soo powerful it’s so odd how he’s only 4 star haha... or maybe it’s just me being biased.

YEAH! THE SAVING SCENE IS SO AHHHHH. god especially if they have dialogue while person a is hurting and person b just spills all their feelings and becomes so erratic and scared and person a is like holy shit you love me.... and after everything is okay there’s still some awkwardness and tension and aaa.... 💢💔

OOO. sadly the ps5 is always out of stock it’s crazy how fast it sold out. but i mean it makes sense it’s arguably the most popular console so.. hopefully they restock soon. last of us is such a fun game! and the second part is ~gay~ which is always a plus. i’m not sure which memes you mean? tell me 👁 HAHA that makes sense actually omg... lumine and aether reunion won’t happen until like two years if the updates keep coming the way they are (STOP THAT WOULD ACTUALLY BE SO FUNNY.... like hello if you want to unlock the rest of the story you either gacha $pin for it or you imagine it yourself love ♥️😗) talking about this makes me wonder what the other worlds might look like....

your followers are just here to witness us planning our co-op date sjsjdkdjskz. speaking of,,, hehe. i have some fantastic news. i’m at ar level 11 right now and co-op unlocks at level 16... i might just reach that tomorrow (today for you) so i’m just saying hehehehehehehehehehehe.... 😏♥️

BOWL CUT. my cutie little baby. also mullet? sounds nice omg you will probably rock that look... 😳 i’m a non mullet supporter but if cluna has a mullet then call me a yeehaw mullet lover i suppose. can’t believe my wife is a cowboy. OMG YEAH IT MUST FEEL SO NICE your head went bzz bzz. how long did it take for them to accept it? and yeah god ikr some people take hair so seriously which is fair but also i’ve never understood it... like it grows out..? wow you really went from a ballet girl to punk rock style huh. i feel like you’re the both sides of the ‘she was a punk she did ballet’ meme.

memo fic is a jealous fic? mmm smells good. I FIGURED jshdjdkhsjs slow songs are just not your forte, huh? rip. langst is the best yet worst thing ever tbh. and YEAH I DO we’re truly 🤝 ok literally mood sometimes it’s just nice to talk about how much you love a character through another character in a fic yk? so what if this 2k fic contains 1k words about how beautiful oikawa looks? it’s what iwa feels <3 (YOU’RE LEARNING!!!!!!! THATS SO EXCITING!! i guess you just have to drive me around, huh?)

oh i’m in love i’m with that fic my girl. and i knew about that spoiler it’s kind of hard to miss it since it’s everywhere skdhdkdhdk... god, that sounds so good thank you for sharing it. pining iwaizumi hajime >>>>>>>> the air i need to exist 🥺 

THE DAY IS SO SOON CLUNA, it’s literally here soooo soon holy shit i just can’t wait. i played for almost 6 hours today in a row like an idiot and now i never wanna see hilichurls again in my life but hey, one step closer to my baby. prepare yourself.. 😏

AWWW i had a feeling you’d be a tea person. but omg tea effects your sleep? how late is too late for you to drink it? what’s your favorite flavors? 👁 and i’m addicted to both shdkdhsks. i say addicted bc i literally have 6 cups of tea per day easily and like.. 1 or 2 coffee cups per day. it’s really bad but i can’t stop so.. 🙇🏽‍♀️

COLLEGE BOYFIES CLUNA. COLLEGE BOYFIES WITH DIP DYE HAIR. imagine them doing each other’s make up and nails before going to concerts together. imagine xiao in euphoria kind of make up. holy shit. here’s something for your overwhelmed heart jsdhjshska. xiaoven soulmates girl, no doubt about it. THE EDIT THE EDIT THE EDIT!!!! they just look so beautiful. we need scenes with them like Asap. the edit is based on a fic... notes down.

can’t wait to see your screenshots. super excited!!

xo, m.a. (i almost wrote my name down in a haste shshskdjdk... although you’ll find it out soon...)

hiya!! i slept alright~ ahaha

:o that’s smart! but no i don’t LOL whether i’m on my phone or my laptop i just continuously scroll up and down fhdskjfkhsdf i think that’s why i come close to missing some paragraphs some times oops. yay for the ~wonders of technology~

(AIGHT NICE AHAHHA fhsdkjfsh does that mean you’re a bit of a tomboy?) actually coincidentally i came across this thread: https://twitter.com/maxatsuomi/status/1350145589296685057 which gives you an idea lmao (also some things on there i wasn’t even aware of wtf) EXACTLY??? it’s even worse when non content creators try to come for content creators like?????????/ um you’re getting all this food for FREE and yet?????? lmfao the nerve of some people

i def will!! FKJSHFDSKJ yeah that do be their dynamic lolol. and thank you!! i too think i snapped on that one 😩😩 glad others agree ahahah

i actually haven’t really seen him in combat... and when we could trial him i was too busy trying to pass the quests to focus on how he fought fhdkfhsdkfjshf but i do think his abilities are cool!! he have wolf above head 🥺

YEAHHH BOYEEEEEEEEEEE god that reminds me of a scene from a drarry fic (What We Pretend We Can't See wink wonk)

oh damn!! hope they restock soon for your sake~ yissss ive watched a playthrough and omg lev.... my Son. i don’t think i can find the memes again but it was just about the bugs like how if you throw a grenade on the highway everyone will run out of their cars like a flashmob or something hfskfhsdjfkds. (LMAOOOOO) there’s actually a trailer with the other worlds! https://youtu.be/TAlKhARUcoY (it has spoilers tho supposedly lol. none we understand rn at least)

hdsfkhjs. omg you absolute legend!!!! but i also hope that you’re taking care of yourself and prioritising the important things too fhsfhdksdhf. but i am excited hehehehehe

AHHAAHKFHDSKJFSD pls... once i saw someone with an actual proper mullet on the bus and i was like “ew... keith would look like this irl?” FJSDHKFSAHKDASHDFSDJFKJFDSHFKJS. but what can i say i got influenced by all the kpop bois 😔 and hmmm idk? i think my dad didn’t care too much but ik my mum did/does fhsfskfsdfhkf so who knows lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. IT REALLY DOES GROW OUT LMAO LIKE. fhkshkfsdkj my cousin called me a rockstar when she saw it LOL so you’re prob right 🤪

yeah slow songs really just. aren’t LMAO ‘behind this mask of mine’ was based on a slow bts song and i put it in the playlist i had for it (bc obviously) but i wanted to skip it every time hfksjdhfskjdfhskfdkfhkslfhadksfjsdjhfkashkfjsdh. EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!! you are so correct. (hehehe i was gonna say that too that you don’t need to drive bc it’ll take you around 😏 LMAO)

fhkdsj thank!! legit pining iwa.......... more like pining ME mayhaps i just be self projecting 🤪🤪

lolol dw i can fight the hilichurls for you 😩 also who’s your fave enemy to fight! i used to like fighting the treasure hoarders most but the hilichurls are cute.. FHSKJDHFSDFKJSD plus i need their fucking masks my god why are their drop rates so shit hfsdhjfks

i’m not too sure actually? i’ve never been up early enough to test it but i like drinking tea like after dinner... which is the problem AHAHA. hmm well i like matcha a lot LOL but also chai? and then like black tea.... all the other ones too... i used to drink some fruity ones which were nice but we have a lot of the like basic chinese ones at home too and i enjoy those as well lol. wbu?? omg.... m.a........... dfhksdfkjhfkjshfksjd that’s a lot!!!!!!! do you even need to drink water then HKDSJFHKSDFHDKDSHFJKSDH

omg............. ive never seen euphoria LOL but ............. omg ...................... i cannot process thoughts rn.....

xoxo!! c.r. (you mean bc we’ll be playing co-op? you don’t have to if you’re uncomfy fhdskjf my genshin name was literally ‘aether’ up until yesterday FHDFHSDKFSDFJSHFKSDF)

[ghosty-schnibibit]

multiple days early taz grad liveblog! ^u^

ngl this took me completely by surprise and i didn't end up listening to it until around ten o'clock, it’s a bit before one in the morning as i’m posting this lol. managed to avoid any spoilers tho!

how's everybody doing in quarantine? i've mainly been playing minecraft and doing relistens of various podcasts, and just generally staying home :P

anyways, on to the episode!

i was not expecting that intro holy shit, this is so meta

as much as i loved the sillier intro i missed the pretty music the last couple episodes, i’m glad trav’s found a way for us to have both 

"the offending skeletons" pfff

oh man this sounds so pretty, wow

griffin w h y

well that's terrifying

"your creepy panopticon continues to function" gary serves the eye

yeah who fucking died to make their room available 

awww, is fitzroy scared of ghosts?

does firbolg have ghost hunting abilities???

... that's probably just from the spectral cats tho right

"they're steps of the mind" travis what does that even mean

:o!!! fitzroy the cussing boy

um??? fitzroy wtf are you talking about

yay! crepes for my boy! :D

better than i could do lmao

oh great, more creepy buckminster time :|

... dang, that's an interesting choice. i'm trying to think in-character of what would lead fitz to not telling them, and i've come to four main possibilities: a) fitzroy doesn't trust anyone at the school, even his friends, b) fitzroy hasn't found a way to tell them w/o being in the presence of a gary, c) fitzroy is worried that if he tells anyone they might get disappeared like leon, or d) a combination of all of the above.

kumquat? oh it's those little orangey guys, okay, continuing argo's citrus fixation then lol

"my new hero" can't wait to see all the maplekeene fic that comes out of that line lmao

well fuck that's sad :(

aww firbolg my sweet baby

ilu firbolg :')

OH FUCK, did leon send the broach as a message?

i have never gone from laughing to worried so fast holy shit

... so he's not just mind-wiped, he's being actively controlled

good idea fitz, this is very smart

another moment reminding me of how much i love the firbolg's character and how the other boys interact with him 

yay! my favorite girl is back :D

my sweet boys, these are such bad puns, absolute morons the lot of you

argo my dipshit son ilu

she is a necromancer lol

oh fun! dad lich!

... i need art of rainer as a blupjeans baby stat

"he's not not dead!" i love this description

i cannot tell if that's a euphemism or if he's insinuating rainer is some kind of frankenstein

oh dang :O

fiztroy you absolute ding dong ilu

oh fun, new npc :D

go firbolg, nice

so leon actually managed to get through to the guild before higglemas did whatever he did to him, and hieronymus and higglemas appear to be on the same page vis-a-vis wanting to keep the guild out of the school... fuck

althea, good to know, i'm so bad at spelling, i was hearing it as alfia

yay! i missed the money zone :D

aww, thank you trav

wait is that the end? does taz just not have ad reads anymore???

hey what the fuck, i am worried for my boys trav you can't just drop that on me apropos of nothing

how trippy for the rest of the staff do you think it was that all of a sudden jackyl's creepy voice suddenly turned into a lilting brogue

argo my sweet boy

IT'S AN ANTI GARY ZONE

... is he going to- yep, he's telling him about the hot mint

argo my sweet boy you are a valued member of the group

"hot mint is nothing new" oh my darling

ilu jackyl

what do you mean not from a person? do they think fitzroy is somehow linked to the demons in the forest?

thank you for that trav i am bad at remembering scenery details

i get what jackyl's saying here but like... there are ways for argo to ask fitz about his magic without being suspicious. they're pretty okay friends at this point, i don't think it's too much of a stretch to bring up magic in conversation like “hey, i have magic from my parents, do you think your magic could have come from yours?”

argo that's kind of a hollow threat, i don't think you can leave, they'd probably kill you :/

ilu argo my sweet boy

yikes, goddamn, the bad roles are back for argo

what was the end of that line clint

NICE, good rolls are back :)

clint you absolute dipshit

it's not boring! i'm very proud of clint getting so many good rolls in a row!

i love this so much lol

ooooh, this is some pretty music

fitz is on supplemental levels of paranoia

i can get that rationale, he can't solve anything if he can't trust his own perceptions

so he's taking a crack at artificing, fun times

this is an extremely good interaction, i am loving this

what does your little high pitched HMMM mean fitzroy? what are you doing my dipshit son???

oh fun, drawf then i'm guessing

green and gold were my university colors trav don't do this to me

fitzroy sounds like me every time i fall down the rabbit hole of metalworking videos on youtube and think “i wanna make a sword!”

... huh. i have to go back and listen to ep. 7, but is crabtree part of the unbroken chain? i'd be more inclined to trust her if so, i don't know if fitz would be safe crafting a mind protecting charm with her if there's even the slightest possibility that she's in on whatever higglemas is doing

fitzroy my dipshit son, you are an absolute dummy, you are the worst

griffin you planned an entire campaign around magical items

i don't like the sound of that "oh!"

oh this has gone just about as bad as it could have gone

that is absolutely not going to happen

nice thinking griffin, holy cow

not a fan of the foreshadowing implications of that

precision is certainly something fitzroy doesn't have

yes thank you for not doing that griffin

this is probably a bad idea and i am worried for firbolg

"let the wiki show, your honor" i want to check the wiki now to see if anyone’s added that lol

jesus that's a creepy feeling

griffin you have no right to make me cry like this

justin you've murdered me

welp, this is extremely bad :|

what are you doing fitzroy, what is the end game here fitzroy

okay, okay that's a good idea but this music is very terrifying

maybe also talk about what's going on with buckminster please, i am so worried about leon

i am at odds with myself because i adore the friendship development that's going on here, but i'm also so worried for literally all of them and poor argo is being left out

oh nice, very excited to see how that goes next ep

thank you for lifting the mood some griffin lol

clint you've killed me

oh i am so looking forward to this conversation

so a lot went down this episode, huh? compared to how lighthearted and silly the last two episodes were we got a ton of plot development, and in retrospect i’m glad we had an emotional buffer before things got too hairy. i am very worried for my boys, i personally think travis is nailing the build-up of suspense and mistrust between characters while keeping the danger factor mysterious enough that there’s no obvious solution as to who’s right not to trust who. i can’t wait to head into the tag and see the kinds of theories people are coming up with because dang if i don’t have some thoughts.

see you guys whenever the next ep comes out i guess!

[fr3aklike-me]

omg hiiiiii i missed youuu <3 and im so glad you have more energy now !! was today better than yesterday in that sense or pretty much the same ?

omg fr, any edit of anytbing in the opposite context literally makes me cry laughing, it’s so fucking funny. like ik i’ve seen this somewhere but i can’t remember wtf it was, but like turning “family dinner” into a horror film with the dramatic music and screams at like the simplest sentences, idk it’s so funny. esp bc i don’t have siblings so i never had a family dinner w my own family except just my parents which makes it 10x funnier when i go to someone else’s house and we all sit down for dinner, and then they start bickering, i literally have to stop myself from laughing bc i make it a horror film in my head LMAO. but yesss, i almost forget they exist sometimes, like i’ve spent money on books i’ve never really even read and the fact i could’ve checked them out- like i really want to start doing that. and yesss omg there’s a giant beanbag chair at my library and i sat there for so long one time, it’s so nice. YES i wanna visit mine now too ahahha i’m so excited to read the book w you !! STOP ITTTT awww shhddujsjsh you’re so sweet, i literally melt everytime you imagine what i’m saying i’m doing, like it’s so sweet and tender to me, you’re the sweetest. skjdjdjsj of course you’re cute, oh my goodness you’re so fucking cute, and the fact you hold your cheeks at things that are sweet is like the most adorable thing i’ve ever heard. omg it’s like so cute to imagine our day together, and cuddling to fall asleep omg, id sleep so fast, i can actually sleep if someone’s next to me hsjdhhd it’s even better than the british man. LMAO but yesss, it’s the best it’s so calming. yesss it’s such a good show, it’s so interesting and it rly makes you think, like there’s so so so many unsolved cases and it’s crazy. but i’m not sure on an episode, it’s been a while since i’ve watched it. BUT i do have an interesting case, it’s solved tho. look up “the Turpin family house of horrors” or something like that, it should come up. (tw: it’s about intense child abuse and neglect.) but the super crazy part is the girl who escaped and called the cops was 17 and she didn’t even know what medicine, or her address was. it’s crazy and so interesting to me bc this all happened in the city where my dad and i used to go to the lake when i was a kid. like we went when this was still going on, and it’s only like 30 mins from where i live, genuinely terrifying to think about. but the success story of the children is really cool, the adult ones at least. and yesss anything sapphic that’s not from like, this time period, even if it’s fictional is so so nice to read, it is rly comforting !! REALLY ?!?! omg really ?!?!!! i will actually come, that’s such an honor truly <3

jsjsjsjjdfkfdk of course i tried to read it, it took a lot of tries but omg everytime id look at it i’d be blushing but i wanted to see ittt🥺 and omg lmaoooo you rly don’t know at all then, is it a suprise trip ? i’ve felt literally so so cared for, like so much so, you’re so comforting. and omg, it makes me so happy that you feel that way, it means so much to me. you absolutely so deserve that title my angel, jdjdjjsjs i wouldn’t give such a title to anyone else <3 yeahhh the summers are intense, but it’s kinda nice when it’s like 25, feels like winter on those days LMAO but that sounds like such nice summer weather, what you have there. i wish it got to negatives here in winter, or at least snow, ik it sounds crazy probably lmao but i love both summer and winter, and i truly don’t know what it would feel like hahaha i think it’s sub-zero when i go to the mountains and it’s like 2 degrees.

-💟

I missed you too <3 and thank you!! today, I thankfully had more energy (and finally did my whole skincare routine LMAO) and felt a lot better, but I've been catching up on a book that I only started two days ago and have an essay on tomorrow jfjdjfk

seriously, it also reminds me of those trailers made for different films, Honest Trailers, I think they were called, and the voice over was so dramatic dkjldkfj. omg I need to watch that! it reminds me of the dinner scene from Hereditary, and how it was so chilling. I've even seen clips of Friends, particularly with Ross, edited to seem like a horror film, and it is so weirdly accurate bc without the laugh noises, some of the shit he says sounds so creepy. LMAO omg when there are huge family dinners, and all the debating, bickering and chaos starts, it can be so funny. I don't have family dinners that often either, but when I visit my family in another province, sometimes we will all start bickering and yelling across the table - not in a serious way, but just out of pure annoyance with the cousins sjdklsjd. oooh, so you don't have any siblings? me too, I think once I started spending more of my own money, I realized just how fucking pricey books are, sigh. GASP, A BEANBAG CHAIR. I FORGOT HOW COMFY THOSE ARE. honestly, I would love to get one in my bedroom, they are so fucking comfy - I remember a bookstore I used to go to had those in the children's section, and as a child, it was so comfy, and they even had a table with a wooden train set to play with - I'm feeling so nostalgic rn. omg, of course I do, you paint such a cute image with all your different reactions, they're so sweet. DKJKSJ thank you omg 😭 you saying it's the most adorable thing is so fucking sweet ahhh. oooh, really? for me, it depends on the person. like, with friends, yeah, but if it's relatives I haven't seen in several years, it's a bit more awkward LMAO for sure, and it's also frustrating and heartbreaking to know that some of the harm against innocents is unsolved and justice won't happen. damn, that's intense, I'll check the case out - so, she didn't know where she had been living in? holy shit, that must've been so eery and weird to have known it all occurred somewhere you and your dad visited so frequently. like, it is actually so frightening to think of that, I definitely understand why you felt terrified. wow, I'm so glad there were some success stories, though. and omg, absolutely!! if you come, and are in an area close to me, like the province I live in, omg I would absolutely love to meet up!! like, I would be so down for that

omggg that is so cute, that you were making those attempts to read it, and would blush when you got a glimpse kjdkfldjlkf. so, the thing is, I have family there and me, my dad and brother are hoping to go, but I think my dad is probably watching out for less pricey flights, and he's currently waiting for my brother and me to be done with our classes and officially on break. and so, the plans are very vague at the moment till we plan what time will be good. the family we're visiting probably won't be surprised, my dad will probably let them know, we're just seeing when the best and most free time will be, haha. omg, thank you so fucking much. seriously means the world to me that you feel comforted and cared for. so, so much. I absolutely feel so cared for and doted on in the best way by you too. omg 25 celsius is winter for you guys?? that's so interesting, for us, it's so warm, haha. oooh, yeah, I get that, the snow is pretty, and the weather is crisp and manageable until it gets too low. omg do you go to the mountains a lot? (also, will find some pics of snow to add in)

[britishchick09]

sherlock s2 ep 2 livewatch

after seeing so many sherlock posts on my dash today, i’m in the mood for some johnlock! and what better way to get that than with one of the most iconic stories? :D

fun fact before i pop the dvd in: in samantha’s first mystery, ‘the curse of ravenscourt’, she reads the original ‘hounds of baskerville’ book! :D

YAS MASTERPIECE MYSTERY YYYYAAAASSSS!!!!!! :D

also i love how my dad put ‘series II’ instead of ‘series two’ or series 2′. classy! ;)

masterpiece yaaasssss :D

aand we just jump right in with DOG REDRUM >:)

DRAMATIC INTRO YAASS!!!!!

yo lockie civil war wut?

john: “you went on the tube like that?” why did he go on the tube like that

john: “another photo of you with the-“ sherlock: *BIG SIGH*

sherlock: “nothing of importance... OH GOD!!!!!” LOCKIE IS P-I-DOUBLE S- ED YO!

sherlock: “i need some, get me some!” john: *plays john lennon’s ‘cold turkey’ at full blast* lol this didn’t happen but i wish it did :D

NO LOCKIE DON’T CALL FOR MRS. HUDSON SHE’S YOUR NOT HOUSEKEEPER NOT YOUR NOT DRUG DEALER

lockie be like ‘Y E E T !”

john: ‘you’re doing great, don’t give up now!” THE TONE IN HIS VOICE LOL :D

mrs. hudson: “yoo-hoo!” big tea blowout, yah? :D

they just played the racist ‘oriental’ tune from ep 2 ugh :/

omg DID SHERLOCK JUST MAKE MRS. HUDSON CRY??

sherlock: “I NEED A CASE!!!!” oh so it’s not drugs?

someone needs to find a bunny awww :)

sherlock: “this is brilliant call lestrade” i think this is a stuffed bunny AND THAT’S SO CUTE!!!!

samsung THAT BE THE BRAND OF MY MONITOR AND TV!! :D

he’s twitching his fingers cute lockie ♥

welcome to dateline nbc!

OMG HE’S ACTUALLY AT THE FLAT :D

henry: “i was just about to say it on the-” sherlock: “i prefer to do my own editing” same :D

geez the dog redrum was his dad violently killed geez :?

john: “did you see the devil that night?” i think you mean cujo ;)

ew cujo tore the dad apart :(

cujo’s a genetic experiment according to sherlock woah :o

wowza that was 20 years ago :o

of course sherlock knows everything that’s happened to this guy earlier!

sherlock: “please smoke mr. knight, i’d be delighted” you can join the smoking guy i saw outside of cvs yesterday ;)

sherlock: “i’ve been cooped up for ages!” covid quarantine who

i love how sherlock infodumps about people it’s so cool :D

henry: “how did you know that so fast?” sherlock: “it’s my job, now shut up and smoke” ...daaaang :o

john: *is asking henry questions* sherlock: *SNIIIIIIFFFF* yo what up lockie O_o

woah henry has to ‘face his demons’ :o

sherlock: “if i wanted to read poetry, i’d read john’s emails to his girlfriends” OHHHHH

but what about emails to lockie? ;)

sherlock: “bor-ing! goodbye mr. knight, thanks for smoking” lol :D

henry: “they were the footprints of a gigantic hound!” masterpiece trailer moment! :D

sherlock: “repeat those words exactly as you said them a moment ago” he wants it for the trailer

he didn’t say them exactly as he said them a moment ago :/

awww john is sherlock’s ‘best man’! ♥♥♥♥♥

AND LOCKIE’S TAKING ON THE STUFFED BUNNY CASE AWWWW!!!!! :D

sherlock: “a monstrous hound, i wouldn’t miss it for the world!” says the guy taking a different case

frozen 2 much?

john has a jeep how very army of you sir

i paused this at just the right moment ;)

henry tells his therapist he’s been seeing ‘liberty’ and ‘in’... liberty in the hound?

hotel guy: “it’ll be a double room for you boys” john: “that’s fine, we’re not-”

p

he knows ;)

OMG ISN’T THAT THE GAY INNKEEPER??? :o

the innkeeper’s accent is cool B)

sherlock’s talking to a shepard fairey guy woah :o

p

a smiley little lockie!!!! ♥♥♥♥

sherlock bet this guy 50 quid that sounds like a lot!

p

:/

p

aww he gave a little snort! :)

sherlock: “ooh, is it haunted?” his sarcastic soft voice tho :D

guy: “he said i’ve seen things i’ve never seen again” like henry! :o

guy: “rats as big as dogs and dogs the size of horses” oh noes

so when is that bunny thing showing up?

they just snuck in as mycroft SHERLOCK WHY

p

a good ol’ salute! :D

p

another johnlock screenshot ft antiques roadshow! ;)

p

JESUS CHRISTMAS MONKEY

the corporal guy is so nice! :)

p

ooh word wall! :o

p

a sarcastic happy lock!

dr lady: “i have a lot of fingers in a lot of pies...” wut

p

THERE’S THE BUNNY!!!!! :D

it glowed in the dark! :o

john: “did we break into a military base just to investigate a rabbit?” indeed you did ;)

p

OH SNAP MYCROFT :o

he’s like ‘ugh what’s my little pesky bro doing now?’

sherlock: “23 minutes, mycroft’s getting slow” lol :D

oh no the major looks crankyyy :o

OMG WHY ARE THE LIGHTS FLICKERING

the dr guy thinks sherlock is mycroft!

sherlock just goes with it lol :D

p

someone’s not convinny....

the dr knew it was sherlock the whole time! :o

he’s read the blog! and he wants sherlock to wear the hat lol

the dr guy likes ‘the pink thing’ ;)

dr guy: “i’d love to tell you what i do, but i’d have to kill you!” sarcastic yet >:)

p

that’s a look of luv bby ♥

john: “don’t be all mysterious with your... cheekbones and turning your coat collar up so you look cool” cheekbones?

sherlock: “i don’t do that” john: “yeah you do!” yeah lockie you kind of do...

p

happy john! :)

sherlock says the mystery words are liberty in death! :o

his plan is to go out at night and john’s like ‘that’s not a plan’ lol

p

squinty smile!!!! ♥

p

sherlock 2 NOW

a kid scream just played twice in a few seconds... transition perhaps?

i’ve always thought sherlock was darkly lit, but night takes it to a whole new level! :o

bird tweet!

maybe the scream is actually a weird bird idk

p

ooh a code!

john whispering ‘sherlock!’ over and over ♥

henry after sherlock mentions his parents: “look at you and john” ;)

OMG IS THAT CUJO

p

cujo see you... ;)

sherlock claims to not have seen cujo BOI HE WAS RIGHT THERE

p

two bros sitting by the fireplace, five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay!

john: “i guess it’s morse” boi that was definitely morse

oh no sherlock heavy breathing?

john: “maybe we should just look for whoever has a big dog” lol :D

sherlock: “i saw it... i saw it too... i saw it too, john!”

john’s the rational one AND SHERLOCK SAW A RATIONAL HOUND BOI

sherlock: “look at me john, i’m afraid... i’m afraid!” :(

did john just call him ‘spock’

aww john wants lockie to take it easy ♥

sherlock: “there’s nothing wrong with me!” that shaky breath tells otherwise...

sherlock nervously infodumping although there’s ‘nothing wrong with me’ shows that there’s something wrong with him! poor bby :(

john: “i use my senses unlike other people” ooh sick burn lockie B)

john: “why won’t you listen to me? i’m your friend!” sherlock: “i don’t have friends!” john: “no... wonder why” aww :(

p

ooh johnny carson :o

p

OMG WAS SOMEONE DOING IT IN THE CAR WTF???

john: “...oh god.” same john same

p

nice blackberry john ;)

henry’s watching home movies and the lights are suddenly way bright! :o

HENRY JUMPSCARE!!!!

he’s so freaked out poor guy :(

p

ooh john’s on a date!

he’s talking to henry’s therapist so maybe it’s not?

john: “i have another friend who might be having the same problem” aww it’s lockie :(

franklin: “don’t you read the blog?” we all read the blog ;)

therapist: “sherlock who?” HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW SHERLOCK FLIPPING HOLMES???

franklin: “this is his p.a” john: “p.a?” franklin: “live in p.a” therapist: “live in...” ;)

p

eyyy reusing the same shot but with john digitally removed ;D

p

lockie’s so happy to see henry! :D

p

coffeelock! :D

john: “funny doesn’t suit you, let’s stick to ice” yep!

sherlock wasn’t afraid of the hound... he was afraid of his doubts! :o

john’s not too convinced...

sherlock: “i don’t have friends” you have- “i just have one” AWWWWW HE HAS JOHN!!!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

john: “...right” thanks for making it akward bud

sherlock: “john! you are amazing, fantastic-” john: “don’t overdo it” :)

p

cool font ;)

LESTRADE IS HERE!!!!

sherlock: “is that why you call yourself greg!” john: “...that’s his name” lol :D

john: “scary inspector from scotland yard could put in a few calls...” lol :D

sherlock apologized to john with coffee aww ♥

IT’S THE GAY INKEEPERS YAS!!! :D

p

that smirk tho ;)

wait the hound is dead?

omg sherlock has asbergers! :o

lockie saw a glowing superdog huh

p

sherlock: “hello brother dear! how aaare you?” lol his sarcastically sweet tone :D

and john’s look tho!

henry jumpscare!!!

man that one scared him so much poor guy!

john’s sneaking around ;)

brightening sherlock screencaps be like:

p

also why isn’t the show lit closer to something like this all the time

john muttering: “what the fu ‘ell” OMG JOHN BASICALLY SWORE :o

now it’s super dark!!!

OMG MONKEY SCREECH JUMPSCARE

john swiping the card over and over is like my dad trying to get his debit card to work at the store

or like that thing john did at his own grocery store ;)

john’s breathing heavy just like lockie.... :(

OH CRAP CUJO GROWL

RUN JOHN RUNNN!!!!!!!!

cujo’s out there

john just made a noise that sounded like that puffy fish eating a carrot :o

john to phone sherlock: “it’s in here with me..” OH CRAP HIDE IN A CAR FOR A MILLION HOURS

john’s whisper squeaked awww :(

sherlock wants john to keep talking awww :(

john doesn’t know what he sees but he’s scared af

AND HE CAN’T SEE CUJO

p

super sherlock!! :D

p

awww he was hunkered in a cage poor guy! :(

john: “jeeesus i saw the hound! it was here sherlock it was here!!! did you see it you must’ve seen it-” sherlock: “it’s okay john-“ john: “NNNOOOO IT’S NOT!!!!! IT’S NOT OKAY, I SAW IT, I WAS WRONG!!!” OMG JOHN :o

wait now sherlock’s denying what he and john saw wut

...they’ve been drugged?

is cujo just drugs?

dr lady: “are you okay? you look very peaking...” very what now

oh so it was a real bunny? when i was researching a sherlock return, i saw a website saying sherlock went through london for a stuffed one what was that about

what if cujo’s real and not a drug hmm lockie?

the drugs were in sugar?

OMG WHAT IF SMOKING IS THE DRUGS???

sherlock needs to go to his mind palace YAS!!!!! :D

oh no is this the cringe mind palace clip on tumblr

p

OH DEAR BLOODY GOD NO HELL IT IS

p

change the font I’M BEGGING YOU CHANGE THE BASIC AF FONT

p

elvis?

good it’s over!

henry’s running from the cujo drug!

oh no there’s a lady crying!

DID HENRY HURT THE LADY????

ooh it’s project h.o.u.n.d in liberty indiana? why would a cia project in the us be in the uk?

ew henry has 5 biographies of margaret thatcher :/

p

first off what pretty eyes! and the hound is names!

h.o.u.n.d was hidden in 1986... courtney did moore than reagan ;)

20 years ago for them is 1992 but the drug was hidden in ‘86 so lockie’s probably not being specific since it’s 2012 there and not 2006

the dr guy is american because he says ‘cell phone’?

oh no henry’s missing! :o

HE HAS A GUN WTF

did smol henry take the drug before ‘86 and hallucinated his dad’s death?

OMG HENRY DOESN’T KNOW ANYMORE

a man murdered his dad!

the guy sounds like darth vader :o

awww john’s comforting henry but it’s too dark to see :)

man henry’s so messed up poor guy!!! :(

lestrade: “oh my god! oh christ!” lol :D

oh no is henry reliving the murder?

the drug is in the fog!!!!!

THE DRUG IS IN THE FOG!!!!!

OMG THEY’RE SHOOTING AN INNOCENT DOG BECAUSE OF THE FOG DRUG

HENRY SCREAMING NO :(

RUN FRANKLIN RUN!!!

frankin’s down!

p

OMG DID HE DIE????

p

domestic eating right after that!

also why does sherlock never eat :(

did sherlock just say ‘is this ketchup brown’

sherlock put the drug in john’s sugar and locked him in for an experiment BOI

that explains why he appeared so fast...

p

flashback! with that face HE BEEN KNEW

i think there’s an s4 thing where lockie plants a bomb or something and laughs at john so this is unfortunately a thing :/

sherlock: “won’t happen again” WHAT DID I JUS SAY

sherlock: “you’ll be fine once you’ve excreted it” ...ew

john: “i think i’ve already taken care of it” EW

p

omg so many sherlocks

p

spooky...

is that moiarty setting up for the fall next ep?

p

and it ends with only the winky man knowing...

this was a very suspenseful ep! there were so many heartstopping moments and cujo being a drug was really clever. i can see why samantha liked reading the original book!

[andymieintus]

Oh my God 4 TIMES? Talk about all of them! Or just your favorite parts I'm sorry if you don't want to

omg okay

im gonna put this under a read more because theres four different stories and theyre quite long but basically this is the story of my budding acquaintanceship with andy mientus

just stick with me here because they keep getting better with each time

so the first time i met him was at the bway flea market in september and it was just a quick lil meet and greet thing with him and michael and tbh michael was SO NICE and i was SO NERVOUS that i don’t even think i made eye contact with andy once

then the second time, this is where it starts getting wild (this was less than a month ago wtf)

so i went to go see wicked in orlando and after the show i walked around the building to find the stagedoor. and once i found it i went back to my car, which was in a parking garage about a five-minute walk away. once i got there, i grabbed the gift i had gotten for andy (i don’t wanna say what it was because yall will think im ridiculous for buying this for him but lets just say it was a gift he had expressed wanting and it was vvvvv expensive) and then i walked back to the theater. so i was walking to the stagedoor when i saw the group of people that had been there earlier walking towards me (away from stagedoor) so i was like “oh no did i miss him oh no oh no oh no” but then i looked behind the group of people and ANDY WAS RIGHT THERE WALKING TOWARDS ME

so naturally im like !!!!!!! and hes just texting and walking and im like do i approach him?? do i not approach him??? but i wasn’t about to let my anxiety stop me from meeting him so i was like “oh! andy! hi!” and he looked up at me and he’s real cute and he was like “oh, hi!” and then he walked over to me

and i gave him his gift and he was super gracious about it it was super sweet and then i asked how he was and he was like “i’m good, i’m feeling a bit under the weather right now” and i told him to feel better ya know things like that and we got a picture it was cute

and so it was kinda just the right moment for us to part ways so we were about to do that when it turns out we were going in the same direction. i was going back to the parking garage and he was gonna wait on his uber and so we ended up walking side by side

so he was like “so how did u like the show?” and i was like wWELL because i had missed the first act due to forgetting my tickets at home and having to go back and get them because im a dumbass and i told him this and he goes “OH NO and most of my parts are in act one!!!!” and he was laughing and my heart melted i just love him and i was like IM SORRY but u were still great in march of witch hunters and everything and he was like awww thnx

and so then we said our goodbyes and he thanked me again for the gift and he was like “well hopefully you’ll get to see the show again sometime” and i was like “oh yeah definitely” knowing full well that i already had tickets for four more dates in tampa

so then we parted ways and he was just standing there and i was standing at a crosswalk like twenty feet away and i had to wait for it to say i could go and i just. we made eye contact it was awkward but then it said i could walk and i RAN

but IT GETS BETTER so i went back to my car and tweeted him thanking him for stopping and everything and then i started driving home and i called my best friend to rant to her about the whole thing

so after i hung up the phone all i saw on my screen was a twitter notif that said

Andy Mientus

Also, I’m sorry if I was a little despondent- my stomach is

and i FLIPPED OUT and checked my twitter and he had followed me and everything and i immediately called my best friend back and was like like WHAT DO I DO and she was like “well u could start by reading the dm” 

so basically andy had opened my gift and he was FREAKING OUT idk if i wanna post the full thing on here because ya know privacy but he was so sweet and he had sent me this paragraph saying that the gift was “crazy generous” and he was like r u sure u don’t want to keep it for urself??? and then he said “No one has ever given me something so generous before so I’m like, panicking lol” and then he apologized for if he seemed tired because his stomach was acting up, which he said hes “a wuss about”

so i literally pulled over to respond to this boy’s goddamn dm and i was like no u keep it i got it for u things like that and he responded saying wow thank u and then he told me that he wanted to post about it everywhere but he didn’t want people to think they should spend a bunch of money on him to buy a shoutout and then like five minutes later he complimented my art and the stones i got him as well and i just responded like omg no i never expected u to post about them and even if u do u don’t have to say it was a gift or anything

so that was the first night and im still so… shook

but the third time i met him got even better,,, (this was this past tuesday)

so i went to go see wicked in tampa and earlier andy had tweeted me saying that yes he was gonna be on and he was gonna stagedoor that night so i was hype

so after the show i went down to stagedoor and there were literally only two other guys there. and the stagedoor is kinda like,,, its a clear glass door and you can see into this lobby area from outside and i saw andy in the lobby area and he was talking to like a security guard or smth and i was like ohshitohshitohshit because i knew he was about to come out and i think its natural to get nervous when things like this happen

so he finally walked out and he went up to the two guys standing a little bit away from me and he goes “hey man.” and they talked for approximately 2 seconds and then andy looked at me and he just…….. okay andy has this face he does where he get really excited and he opens his mouth and his eyes get really big its like a mix between the :o and the :D face and HE LOOKED AT ME AND DID THAT

so the next thing i know, andy mientus is walking towards me with his arms open and he’s hugging me and im hugging him and my face is in his jacket and hes like “HI!!! how are you??!” and im like “IM SO GOOD”

and he says “so u finally saw act one” and i was like “i did” and he was like “howd you like it?” and i was like IT WAS SO GOOD and i told him that hes actually a pretty good dancer and his eyes get all big and he puts his hand over his heart and he goes “REALLY?” and i was like ya!! and he told me “oh my god thank u so much i had to work so hard to make it look that way” it was the purest thing

and idk how it came up but i told him that i was coming back to see the show on friday (which was like,, two days ago now oh my god) and he goes “friday? ur seeing it on friday?” and i was like “yea friday night”  and he goes “…….would youuuuu wanna go on a tour backstage with me that night?? because we do this thing with broadwaycares where the actors give people who donate a certain amount tours backstage and if u wanna just tag along we can just hang out”

and at this point my brain is going a mile a minute and i was like “omg yeah sure” and i probably said “that’s awesome” and “that’s so nice” at least eight times each

and he was like “okay great! u can just walk in through the stagedoor that night and tell those guys in there that ur with me and they should get it all figured out” and i was like…….. this is my life now

so that was about it for my third time but THIS FRIDAY was my most recent encounter with mr. mientus and whew what a story

on my way to the show, andy dmed me again on twitter and he was like “whats ur name for the list tonight?” and i told him while freaking out because not only did he remember that i was coming but he remembered my twitter and then he was like okay cool i don’t think you’ll need ur ID or anything and then he sent me another message that said “Enjoy the show and see you after!”

so after the show, i was nervous as hell and he dmed me right after he had gotten offstage apparently and it just said “Come through the stage door” like yes andy i know but i didn’t actually see the dm until i was going home lol

so i walked to the stagedoor and i saw andy in the back of the lobby area just chillin and im just now realizing that he was there to pick me up aw and so i walked in and the security guard at the desk next to me started FREAKING OUT he was like “WHO ARE YOU YOURE NOT ALLOWED IN HERE” and andy started walking over and he was like “oh no shes with me” and i kinda just gestured towards him and the guard let us go lol

so we walked back to where andy had been standing which was near some doors and he goes “hey” and i was like “hey!” and then he opened his arms again and i thought to myself “i love my life” before hugging him and then he called out to the security guard that had just yelled at me and he was like “hey can we get buzzed in” (referring to them opening the doors for us to let us go backstage) and he said to me “thanks for coming!” and i was like “thanks for having me” and apparently the security guard had not heard him earlier so andy waves his arm over towards the desk and shouts “HEY CAN WE GET BUZZED IN” but then someone opened the door from the inside so he was like “oh! nevermind lets go on a touuuuur follow me”

then we went through the doors and he was like “so this is backstage” and hes like walking in front of me and HE WALKS SO FAST I WAS TRYNA KEEP UP and usually im the fast walker but no and then he showed me the hair and makeup department since the door was open and then we went through some double doors (he held the door open for me what a gentleman) and suddenly i was on stage right backstage of wicked

so the other people who were supposed to be going on the tour had to be gathered up and guided backstage and everything so me and andy had time to talk for like literally ten minutes and we talked about where hes currently living and the election (i talked about politics with andy mientus rt ur goals) and the show and all of the huge props around us and things like that we went over a variety of topics

then all of the people who were going on the tour arrived and there were probably like 8 of them and they all just walked in on me and andy talking and i wasn’t even mad that they interrupted us i was like…… i feel like i shouldn’t be here but it was all good

so i wont go through the whole tour but just know that andy is THE CUTEST TOUR GUIDE most of the people on the tour had literally no clue about anything in theatre (andy had explained to me that this would probably happen) so he explained stuff really well and he knows so much about wicked and the show and im never gonna watch it the same way again

so once the tour was over (it was probably like twenty minutes long) he was like “well i think that’s it! thank u guys so much for coming and donating and seeing the show i hope u liked my tour” and then he was like “now im gonna walk u guys out to stagedoor… maybe you’ll get to sign some autographs for people” and everyone laughed but i was just like ur stupid

and then he led us out but on the way he showed us the wardrobe department because it was open and the sign in sheet and stuff so that was cool and then we got to the door to enter the lobby area so he was saying bye to all of us and holding the door open to let us all out and when i was going out he looked at me and went “hey” and i was like “hey” and he went in for a big hug it was the best moment of my life and singlehandedly saved my 2017 and he was like “i’ll see ya” and i was like “oh im coming back im seeing the show again next weekend” and he was like “oh okay great!!! i’ll see u then!” hes the sweetest lil angel and then i left so yeah that’s been my life as of late

tldr; ive hugged andy mientus three separate times and he knows who i am and hes the most kind person you will ever meet and i can’t wait to see him again

[thegeminisage]

zelda blogging which is so deeply super spoilery, possible the most spoilery it’s ever been, so if you haven’t THOROUGHLY explored the central-north part of the map DON’T read it

aww some of these gerudo wear glasses! love it

i like the music here too but i kinda wish it had been the same melody from oot ; ;

omg riju is tiny!!! is she still young?!

aww her relationship with buliara is sweet they obviously care about each other a lot

AAAAAH THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT MY SWORD lmao maybe i should have gone to get it after all

oh my god a sand seal that gives you words of wisdom for food

ooh i get a free accessory for giving this lady some flint...hmMmMMmMMmmm

topaz i guess bc i'll probs need lightning protection soon? but no, i'm getting a helm...

haha sapphire to go with link's eyes?

ruby bc the flame armor is the ugliest and i wanna wear something else? LOL

went with sapphire iin the end MAY I NOT REGRET IT...

ooooh i shoulda been saving my gems....Dang

i mean, at least i have the 10k i need for the great fairy, but there's so much cool stuff here and i can't bUY ANY...

ah no i did get some opal and amber earrings :3

swim speed up and the ithers are just extra defense

"apparently the accessory maker and the teacher of the relationship class were both in a tragic love triangle, and now they are both single" nintendo this is an all women society please give me lesbians i BEG of you

ok, i need 1 ruby and 5 topaz to finish buying one of everything here. i'll remember

hahahahaha "you've gotta take your time when selecting gems and voe" wise words, lady

omg i found a bar but im too young to drink. nice, nintendo

lmao you can tell one of the ladies you're over 100 and she doesn't believe you dxkfjhg

ok so the hideout of the yiga clan is apparently to the northwest of here so i get to RIDE A SAND SEAL or surf behind one i guess. tbh im a little worried i'll break all my shields :/

i got a gerudo one that i really like!! goes with my scimitar and golden bow!

aww can i not wear accessories along with normal armor...? that sucks

LOL SEAL PUNS the options when talking to the sand seal lady are full of em im dying

wow i can't get this shrine unless i wind sand seal races which i can't do with the divine beast out LOL

jesus those sandstorms look so huge and terrifying...especially since i know they'll disable my map

i wanna explore but tbh i better just stick to the plot and away from those bad boys

oh JESUS i went to an outpost where they're monitoring the beast and it's. so big. and so loud and big and. so scary. oh my god, it's huge

oh FUCK i got too close and it started targeting me so i ran away and thankfully it stopped...definitely gonna take it easy on the exploration if i can help it

oooh no no no why is the air turning green out here...dnw dnw leave me and my map alone!!

uh, and where is my fucking seal...? i left it right HERE

ugh i had trouble mounting the one from before when i stayed in the monitoring outpost do they like leave if you stay gone a long time...? fml

awww this old gerudo never found the lovers pond ):

ugh i see so much stuff i wanna check out but im too scared to get off the seal for long :/ ESPECIALLY if i get stuck in a storm i'll want a way out

oh wow the air is so hot here even my gerudo outfit is useless

tbh, maybe that's a good thing, if i'm eating food i can wear armor with actual defense...much as i love these clothes they're great for getting your ass kicked

ok no seriously WHY does everyone from the yiga clan drop bananas..............

i know that everyone talks about how cool it is that this game just plops you down in the world and lets you figure it out for yourself without hitting you over the head with the instructions

but i just found a bow and some torches in a circle of lit torches with some obviously flammable banners nearby, so

i found the missing gerudo soldier!

"all i've ever seen them do is patrol and eat[in red text] bananas" LMAO WHATS THE DEAL MY DUDES

theres some bananas here on a table wtf do i do throw them at them?? lmao

OMFG LOL IT WORKED

dude pranced right over to it and pocketed it lmao

nooo i missed a chest...maybe i can get it on the way back out ;_;

LOL I FOUND AN ENTIRE ROOM FULL OF BANANAS

this is so funny dkjfgh fck

urgh i wish i could just...snipe them from here. it'd be so EASY

im actually not even totally sure which direction to go, im all turned around

ok, one stationary guy at the door maybe i have to move him?

NOOO I FUCKING FELL THEY SAW ME

i couldn't even fight they one-shotted me and mipha's grace didn't kick in! that isn't fair at all

at least i can get the chest i missed

lol and i cant save in here. perfect.

ok yeah im gonna have to look it up bc as far as i can tell this room has no exit all the hallways just circle back around into it

apparently i CAN fight them...? they're just really hard?

this walkthru is so unclear lol there's a hidden door i can find with magnesis on the right-hand wall WHICH RIGHT...

WAIT fuck i finally see the exit

ah ok. wrong room for the hidden door.

master kohga!! he just...knocked himself out with his own attack. lmao ok

fuck this is SO FUNNY he is so funny

i love it even his bones cracked

isn't what he used to be, apparently

wow this is a boring fight he has a lot of hp and he's so far away the only way i can attack is arrows

and now arrows aren't working anymore...? obviously i'm doing something wrong

maybe i can reflect the rocks back at him

ok google says to drop his things on his head

HAHAHA HIS SPECIAL ATTACK FAILED

this undertale naruto motherfucker im crying i love him

"pretty soon you'll be gone! and not just from my line of sight!" i'm CRYING

fuck the ball rolled on top of him and made him fall

"COWARD! I SHALL BE REMEMBERED!!!"

what a fucking legend i'll never forget you master kohga i promise

aaaand thunder helm retrieved

but i gotta rescue that missing gerudo!

ah good her cell is empty!

lol im skipping sooo many shrines rn...i'll come back to them later i swear

oh NOOOO i got a memory!!!

urbosa the prankster!!! witht he power of lightning at her disposal!! protective of princess zelda!! i'm dying!!!

also im sad so zelda's sealing power mjst be what she used to seal ganon away but apparently in the past she couldn't make it show up for her whole life...?

aw no poor riju the helmet is too big on her

(give it to meeeee)

ok it's time for the divine beast bit but before i do jack or shit im going to upgrade my armor as much as possible rn

ugh you can't enhance the gerudo clothes...geez

FUCK YES HERE WE GO!

aaah riju is talking!!! i always get so surprised!!!

i did it!! tbh i had a really hard time keeping up with her...a dash was too fast but regular speed was too slow

AAH URBOSA IS TALKING TO ME ;_;

ohhh wow it's really walking around while on it

oh man. it's so big. it's so big

oooh you rotate the insides of this one!!

i get the feeling now i should've done more shrines in this area afterall, they have the same sort of electricity theme and they would've been good practice 

okay that was...easily the hardest beast so far

i had to use a guide TWICE and i could barely understand the instructions, PLUS i got two terminals by sheer dumb luck

oooh boy okay a lightning boss im assuming here we gooooo

LMFAO i suck so much at this urbosa was like "there is valor in dodging"

thanks zelda i missed your captain obvious statements

geeeeez i just barely got it

oh EW that never gets any less gross

ohhh my god

"I COULDN'T BE MORE PROUD OF HER" B Y E

oh my gOD?

she mentioned nabooru from oot BY NAME holy SHIT this continutity between games!!!

and "calamity ganon once took on the form of a gerudo that makes this all the more personal" jesus fUCKING christ

i feel so bad for ganondorf the man like

he didn't ask for this shit anymore than link or zelda

and at least they get to win most of the time he always loses and even when he does win he's hated, his win brings ruin

where's the fic where the only way to end the cycle is to become friends with him huh

or like, frankly: the true enemy isn't ganondorf but the evil that takes hold of him

when does he get to be the hero and fight it and smash it to little bitty bits!

oh lord and the blood moon as soon as i get back

do people like, see these towers popping up and beasts moving around? does it scare the shit out of them or make them hopeful?

anyway i hope now i can explore with less sandstorms

oh boy time to ride into a sandstorm gee i sure hope i dont get lost

LOL and first thing i run right into a camp of enemies just bc i was trying to stay in a straight line!!!! jesus

lovely! i am now hopelessly turned around in a sandstorm. i literally don't even know which way i came from

my sand seal is also STUCK lol

ah i passed through it! i'm right where i need to go!

omg I FOUND THE LAST GREAT FAIRY

i'm. i'm 500 short. oh my god

nothing i can't earn with 10 minutes of cooking, tho

huh...? she only asked for 1k...?

i could've SWORN i read someone asks for 10k at one point!

god what if i've been MISINFORMED all this TIME

ooh this one is orange and green

FUCK "i know what you're thinking...can't we just skip to the part where she enhances my clothes?" FUCKING PLAYED

holy FUCK just found my first molduga...i have to KILL one of these for a quest? jesus christ!

ohhh that actually wasn't too bad at all once i figured out the strategy...i've had more trouble with lynels and hinoxes

i'll be honest, the interactive map take a bit of both fun and "work" out of exploring...i look at empty areas and don't wonder "ooh whats over there" but think "ah i can just glance at that bit"

which should make me feel like my Pure Enjoyment of the game is being compromised, and i guess it does a little, but

i wasn't kidding when i said the need to explore was a bit compulsive so it's mostly a relief

ah from up here i see the sandstorm...i think it rotates around the desert? so, it's very possible to avoid and survive even if you do get stuck

anyway i missed several shrines but the quests for them are so complex and i am so Sick

of the desert. even worse than rain tbh

now the question is what to do next: master sword or rito beast

lowkey wanna wait until i get all four beasts before the sword, but

i know you do all four beasts and then ganon and that's it, so if i got the sword then it wouldn't help me for long

plus i'm a little tired of fighting the temperature and changing gear/eating food all the time, so......i guess i'll go check out the forest

maybe i'll see dinaal! i've only seen him once from veeeery very far away

im getting aaaaawfully close to hyrule castle i Dont Like This

lmao every time i catch sight of the divine beasts in the distance, the fact that i can SEE them from THIS far away, blows my fucking mine

they are SO BIG

im getting a much closer look at that flying thing and i'm almost CERTAIN it's a divine beast

just. jesus christ. so BIG

ohhh my gosh i can see the giant pink tree from here *_*

or maybe it's brown, maybe the deku tree is dead lmao

lol straight up skipped the bottomless bog and the enemies at the bottom bc i glided in from death mountain

whoa this tower has rock all over the top??

ah maybe it's so i can't glide to the big tree in the middle lol

not the lost woods if i don't get lost!

lol jk i got on top of it and there was a super cool sword here

aww rauru hillside...im sad

BRO im in the lost woods but its just playing the maze shrine music, i was so hopeful for saria's song

zora's domain having the same music set me up with false expectations t b h

omg if i go too high i die!! i can't follow my higher-ground instict here!!!!!

which is pretty cool but if all i have to do is wander around these woods with my map ON to find the master sword i am gonna be disappointed

even gerudo desert turned it off sometimes

ohhh okay if i wander off the path i also die i can't just go wherever i gotta follow torches i guess

mkay i googled it bc i got stuck and couldn't see anymore torches and it's wind direction! neat

see i feel a little bad about not figuring that out for myself but like...it's not Fun to die over and over bc you can't solve a puzzle. so #realgamers can shut the hell up lol games are for fun

the ember thing is SUPER clever tho and like i know this game is so like, praised bc it stops holding your hand, but i would have appreciated a TINY obscure hint

i did get as far as carrying a torch but i thought maybe i was burning off the fog or smth

omg i found korok forest!!!

oh

there's my sword

said "oh" out loud

kinda wish the quest had been more, idk

but.

mmm not yet. not yet. i'll talk to some koroks first

haha and the very first one tells me to go get the sword all right all right

man. i always remember now that fi's been in there since the ages of skyward sword, sleeping

tbh i kinda miss her 

even though she's way more annoying than navi could ever DREAM of being

for all we complain about compaions, they're a zelda staple and it feels lonely without them

i know not having one makes for a stronger game, i do, but...

really though. the master sword quest was SHOCKINGLY easy. i know i looked up the ember thing but geez it's the first truly disappointing this about this game

and my brother told me they made you work for it lmao but that was. not even close to Work. i've had more trouble at bokoblin camps

like. fucking weak. tbh. i'm so sad like i can't believe this game let me down

OH MY GOD

I TRIED TO TOUCH IT AND THE MEMORIES OVERWHELMED ME

and like at first i was like "ok if link gets his memories back with the sword i'll give them that, that's pretty sick"

AND THEN THE GREAT DEKU TREE STARTED SPEAKING

AND IT WASN'T LOST WOODS MUSIC BUT IT WAS FOREST HAVEN MUSIC

and i straight up burst into tears

"i have watched over hyrule since time immemorial" i know i know i was there i know i missed him so much one of the very first major zelda characters i ever knew i know technically he hasn't been there since the very beginning but he was my beginning

and i didn't even think i cared about him that much emotionally but i also welled up the first time he spoke old hylian in wind waker

oh god link's not WORTHY of the sword yet yes okay i'm here for this i knew this game wouldn't let me down

idk why i never considered the big pink tree might be the deku tree like i joked about it just a few minutes ago but i didn't seriously consider it so i was so surprised

and all the koroks running around and i know i KNOW they used to be kokiri it's almost like i came home, Really Home, the forest was where link began for me, not hyrule proper, he was always a child of these woods

ohhh my god i gotta mop up my face stream is soon!! jesus fuck

oh god now he wants me to pull it again

what if i'm not worthy? what if i am?

i don't have long left to play but i CANNOT leave it here, jesus christ

okay. i'm gonna try. i gotta try. courage!

oh my god it takes your LIFE?

and he said enough when i was down to my last quarter of a heart!! i'm gonna cry i was so close link tried so hard but he wasn't ready yet

i could eat food to max out my hearts but where's the fun in that........

ok. ok. i need to. step back a moment. fuck.

there's hestu! oh my god buddy you finally made it home!! me too pal me too

im gonna save and quit here before i talk to him tho bc like. i gotta stream. but Wow. god Damn

I KNEW THIS GAME WOULDN'T LET ME DOWN!!!!

LMAO I LIED JK im playing a bit more after stream

i talked to the trial korok and "do all the shrines here, it's based on the trials the legendary hero himself did" im crying!!! thats some History!!!

oh my god the koroks are so CUTE??

oh no this is so precious they've been waiting for him

sdfgsfdg "nooo vegetarians everywhere nooo that's my face" i wish i had thought to taka e a snap of that but i cant get him to say it again

aw omg they set up little stores and they only have one of many items please please i'm so proud of them

they set up a little bed for me!! they don't even want my money to sleep there!! i'm sleeping in a tree again, just like i was in oot ;____;

tbh it's so fitting that i did the scary mysterious thing of trying to pull the sword at night and i'm meeting the koroks in the brightness of day

i saw a shield resting on this rock and i had a tiny heart attack like OMG THE HYLIAN SHIELD?!?

ok. ok. i did the trials. i'm gonna see if i can get the sword now??

lol i have the same amt of hearts im not leaving to find a goddess statue and i was trying to boost my stamina anyway but maybe the food boost will help? unless they dont let me use it, we'll see

aaah no it DOESN'T omg

well, maybe one more heart container will do it...?

ugh i don't wanna go back and do the desert ones

me: already fast-traveling

Great, A Sand Storm, Just What I Wanted

fuck i stopped by town and there's a secret club that sells gerudo clothes for men

LOL why.........do they think dudes will feel weird looking pretty? come on

they said there's a high demand so i choose to believe there are lots of gerudo transmen. anyway back to the forest i got two more heart containers i pray it's enough i was SO CLOSE before

I DID IT FUCK I ALMOST DIED BUT I DID IT

IM GONNA CRY JESUS CHRIST

ZELDA SEALED THE SWORD

she's been fighting 100 years and she has so much faith in link

more importantly she heard the sword speak to her im crying fi is in there fi and zelda/hylia meet again

her smile is like the sun, i would do much to feel its warmth upon me again ME TOO PAL im weeping my poor brave daughter i promise i'll save her i promise i promise

it's almost 7am but that was worth it. that was W O R T H I T