#b/c i hate the phrasing they used in the dub

[cyhaino]

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Sorry To Bother You

You need to see this movie - even if you don’t like it. Normally I try to be a little coy in my reviews, leave my assessment until after the cut just to hook the people in, y’know, basic marketing stuff. But this review is different. First, there will be spoilers a-plenty because it’s tough to discuss the biggest themes of the film without getting into some big reveals. Second, this movie is WILD, y’all. LIke Being John Malkovich had a baby with Get Out and that one scene in RENT where Idina Menzel is doing the mooing. You think you know where it’s going and then IT GOES A WHOLE OTHER PLACE. But...it’s still a Hollywood movie with a roster of established stars. Writer/director Boots Riley can’t really be that audacious, right? Well...

It depends on how shocked you are by a coked-out Armie Hammer gleefully (and unironically) uttering the phrase, “You’ll have a horse cock.” 

A basic plot summary - Cassius Green (Lakeith Stanfield) is struggling to pay the rent for the garage apartment he lives in with his artist girlfriend, Detroit (Tessa Thompson). He gets an entry-level telemarketing job at RegalView, but doesn’t have much success until an older, wiser employee (Danny Glover) advises him to use his “White Voice.” Cash does, to his sudden and great success - so much so that he gets promoted to Power Caller, and steps into the world of RegalView’s elite, led by Steve Lift (Armie Hammer). But Power Callers aren’t selling encyclopedias over the phone...no, they’re selling WorryFree, the company Steve Lift started that encourages people in poverty to sign a lifetime contract so they can have guaranteed housing, meals, and work for the rest of their lives at no cost...and also no pay. And the housing is shared bunk beds. And the meals are cafeteria-esque prison food. And the work is slave labor. Cash is uncomfortable with this but hey, he’s finally making some real money, so he goes along with it and even gets invited to a party at Steve Lift’s house! And that’s where he discovers Lift has found a solution to the pushback he’s getting for WorryFree. He’s found a way to turn his laborers into human/horse hybrids, or Equisapiens. They can work twice as long for half the cost as all these whiny humans, and Lift just needs Cash to agree to become an Equisapien and become their Martin Luther King, Jr - to lead the Equisapiens in the direction that Lift and WorryFree have decided is best. Cash is horrified and exposes Lift’s evils, which just makes WorryFree’s stock prices skyrocket. Cash decides to stand with the striking workers in front of the RegalView offices, and in the ensuing riot, the Equisapiens escape and they help the striking workers win against the militarized police force that’s come to stop them. All seems like it’s back to normal until the next day when a horrified Cash begins to turn into an Equisapien. He and a couple other Equisapiens break into Steve Lift’s house and as we see Lift’s terrified face, the movie cuts to black.

Some thoughts:

This movie is getting compared to Get Out a lot, for a multitude of reasons: Lakeith Stanfield, a visionary first-time black director, a bonkers third act. These are surface level comparisons, but the feel of watching something new, and crazy, and so dark but also scarily-almost-maybe-plausible is similar enough that I think the comparison fits well.

Steven Yeun of Walking Dead fame kills it in the major B-story as Squeeze, the leader of striking RegalView workers who are fighting for a living wage from a company whose founder is literally making millions off of slave labor. It’s interesting to me that most of the striking workers appear to be white, and Squeeze is the sole person of Asian descent in the bunch. There’s an insidious tendency for East Asians especially to be seen as “white-adjacent” or a “good minority” - POC who are non-threatening to white people. Squeeze wants the telemarketers to unionize in order to negotiate for a living wage, and unions have almost overwhelmingly been organizations accessible only to the white working class. I think it’s telling that Squeeze, the “safe” POC, is the leader of this fight, rather than Danny Glover or Tessa Thompson, who are also employees of RegalView.

OK but I really don’t understand Tessa Thompson’s performance art piece. She is also using specifically a British White Voice when she’s talking to the people at her art show after she’s gotten angry at Cash for his White Voice.. This makes sense because the bulk of the show is about reclaiming images of Africa, and that voice reeks of colonialism. But when she allows spectators to throw cell phones, bullet casings, and balloons filled with sheep’s blood at her, is that because she knows she lives in a world where her body will be subject to violence? Because violence inflicted with her consent somehow gives it less power? Or is she just as complicit as Cash in trying to leverage white people’s racism to her own financial gain in an evil capitalist system?

I wish we had gotten more time with Danny Glover. Where did he come from? How does he know about the White Voice? Was he once a Power Caller? This is a character I wish had been fleshed out more.

The scene in which Cash is forced to rap at the party thrown by Steve Lift in front of a huge group of white people is one of the most cringeworthy, horrifying things I’ve ever seen on film. He tells them he can’t rap and they keep pressuring him until finally he just starts screaming “N****R SHIT” over and over again - and the crowd enthusiastically repeats it back to him. It’s “Scott’s Tots” level of brutal but covered in a thick gloss of racism, and it made me want to crawl out of my skin because I know this exact phenomenon happens to black people in real life.

Even though it was hysterical, I’m not certain I understand what was going on with the battle of niceness that Cash and his friend Salvador (Jermaine Fowler) got into when Cash abandoned the strike. Was it just because they were still genuinely friends and weren’t really that mad at each other? 

Shout out to David Cross, who perfectly plays Cash’s dubbed White Voice, and to Patton Oswalt who is the White Voice of Mr. _______, Cash’s Power Caller boss. Both of them inject a sly, self-aware note of performance into their voices because they know that this kind of whiteness IS a performance. 

This is the most I’ve liked Armie Hammer in a role since he played the WInklevosses in The Social Network. He is perfection as the smug, richer-than-God, hedonistic power player who genuinely thinks that the logical next step in his cure for poverty is turning people into horse hybrids.

Ok, the Equisapiens. I know this is the part that loses people. They think the film goes off the rails here, or that the horses aren’t necessary to make the point. That now everything the film is saying just feels ridiculous. But anyone who’s studied the history of labor laws can see that this doesn’t feel ridiculous at all. Unchecked capitalism is EVIL, y’all, and it’s also all tied up in the racism we’ve been seeing at play in the movie. The system cares about profit and nothing more - and anything that can yield more profit, no matter how inhumane, is fair game. Boots Riley is using an allegory, sure, but the satire only works because Jeff Bezos is the richest person to ever live in human history and his Amazon warehouses have been accused of various human rights violations on a regular basis. We’re talking sweltering heat, no bathroom or meal breaks, freezing cold, vermin...and N-O-B-O-D-Y C-A-R-E-S. Prime is just too convenient, amirite? To people that make decisions that privilege profit over human lives (especially the lives of the poor, which just so happen to usually be POC), Equisapiens makes a lot of sense. 

There’s even more to unpack here than I can get into because I can’t fit it all into my brain. This movie is brilliant, unapologetic, and vehemently anti-capitalism in a way that no media I’ve ever seen is. You need to see it, your friends need to see it, and your family needs to see it, even if they hate it, because we need to confront the evils Boots Riley is tackling here, and that starts with recognizing them. 

[ingrcdhqs-blog]

hi ! welcome to chilis !

( halston sage / cis!female / she & her ) the paparazzi have spotted INGRID DUCHAN, the 23 year old ACTOR who’s currently working as EMILY MALONE on SUBURBIA. the tabloids have called them ARDENT and DEBONAIR, but also MANIPULATIVE and ABRASIVE. during their time in the spotlight, they’ve been dubbed the LIBERTINE. ( debbie / 19 / est / she & her )

hi hello i have finally brought ingrid back from the dead and she is the actual devil incarnate. in this essay, i will

so ingrid is the creation of two wildly successful names in hollywood  — alice duchan-reese ( a kris jenner-esque  publciist who only represents selct celebrities ) and harold duchan ( oscar award winning director of black pearl, a stunning biopic paying tribute to the late josephine baker )

she’s literally lived in los angeles her whole life, but she’s traveled to so many places she can’t even count on her fingers and toes

like any teenager, ingrid has devoted her life to doing absolutely everything her parents tells her NOT to do

even when she was a baby, she would keep doing whatever the fuck she was doing after they counted to three yknow what i mean?

her parents wanted her to enroll in acting classes and she would skip every class and go get wasted at USC in the middle of the day

she struggled a lot in high school because she didn’t know what she was passionate about, and she tried so many different classes to see what she liked but she hated everything she tried so she just gave up mid-semester

she would threaten weak upperclassmen into doing her schoolwork in exchange for keeping her mouth shut about awful shit they’ve done

obviosuly her parents look out for her 110% of the day and they remember when they would lift her up to the camera and see her smile a megawatt smile, and asking them what editing videos is like and showing them things she would edit on her mac

they always remember but ingrid has the memory of an inchworm so she dos not

so anyway ingrid is like ‘wow i love to argue and ruin people’s lives, i wanna go to law school’

this obviously had nothing to do with a late night throwback movie marathon where legally blonde inspired her to be a kick ass blonde lawyer obviously not

her parents are like ‘ingrid you dumb bitch fINE you’re not gonna listen to us’

anyway she spends her freshman year studying pre law at USC and literally wants to die, she hates it so so so much’

her roommate guilts her into joining the school musical (legally blonde the musical, to be exact), just like she guilted her into joining alpha chi

she lands the role of vivian (she has no idea how but it makes sense tbh) and realizes that she really really likes acting

during her sophomore year of college, she changes her major to theater and DOESNT TELL HER PARENTS UNTIL SHE DECIDES SHE WANTS TO DROP OUT OF COLLEGE TO PURSUE ACTING

her parents are like ‘tbh we expected this but your mother is gonna be your publicist and that’s final’

that phrase alone makes ingrid want to be a lawyer again but she heels and decides to audition for a ton of shit

her first role is on law & order svu and you know that’s where all the big shot actors start out you know  that

after that the media is ALL up her ass and her dad’s ass and her mom’s ass bc the family legacy is continuing and they want her to be a quadrule threat and act and sing and dance and direct

all she really wants to do is act and maybe direct a couple of movies but there’s so much shit going on she channels her confusion into punching guys at bars and flashing her tits on the freeway

it’s fine though bc she lands a role on suburbia, thanks to her father, and they’re like ‘listen, if you want this role you’ve got to c a l m down’

ingrid is so happy about it she promises to stop kneeing guys in the dick for fun and has channeled her mischief into micro-agressions and not minding her business (like high school but with more freedom and even more creative threats)

R A N D O M DANCING HEADCANONS

is secretly really into history because her father is the king of biopics & she can literally talk your ear off about kickass female heroes

has a sizable knife collection that she likes to introduce men to when they don’t listen to her

realized she was a lesbian when her tenth grade boyfriend gave her mono and told her ‘it’s all part of the game’

with that being said, she would suck ten dicks for red vines because those are her s h i t

never tells anyone that she was in a sorority, and blackmails any journalist who tries to uncover that information

blew her science partner’s engaged brother during senior year because she forgot to do the works cited slide on their mid-term project. they still got a ‘b’, but that was unacceptable

will murder anyone who speaks of her parents negatively because she’s the only one who gets to do that

only gets coffin acrylics because they’re the best to scratch people with

i think that’s about it??? come plot with my boo

[celestialarcadia]

Dear Chocolatier

This ended up kind of long. I really hope this doesn’t come across as too picky! While I’ve included prompts and general rambling, I can’t predict everything that I’d be interested in--so as long as your idea doesn’t fall under my DNWs, I’ll be happy to read whatever you come up with! This is mostly geared towards fic, since I’m not very good at talking about art, but I’d also be ecstatic about art fills. Full letter under the cut. (Note that I missed nominations, so I was limited to whatever was in the tagset; not all of my favorite relationships in these works are represented.)

What you need to know about me is that most, if not all, of my favorite pairings include some element of opposites attract. I’m not sure that’s the right phrase to use, since it’s often not literal opposites that attract me to a pairing. What I love is when characters have some sort of large difference(s) between them that is impossible to ignore, requires there to be communication between the members of the pairing, and (this is the big one!!) all the members of the relationship love each other in part because of the differences between them as well as recognizing the similarities they have. It’s a bit hard to explain in words, but I hope that helps. To use examples from the pairings I’ve requested: human/elf, human/alien, alien/different alien, human/robot AI, mage/warrior, warrior/diplomat, witch/fairy, angel/demon...I let out a dreamy sigh just typing those out, which should explain how much I love this trope lmao.

I want happy endings. There’s a place for tragedies, but I need to be in a very specific mood to gain satisfaction from them, and right now in my life I can’t really appreciate them much. I generally prefer a “happily ever after”, but “happy for now” is also acceptable (and is more appropriate for several of the pairings on this list). While I enjoy fluff, I’d also be happy with something more dramatic as long as it ultimately has a HEA/HFN. I’ve enjoyed hurt/comfort, but I usually prefer them to be heavy on the comfort.

Regarding smut: I’m fine with or without it. I’m asexual and porn does nothing for me sexually, but I can enjoy erotica, even PWPs, as an exploration of intimacy between characters. (Not necessarily even romantic intimacy--I’ve enjoyed smut about friends with benefits.) Stuff I enjoy in smut: blindfolds; body worship; bondage; cunnilingus; edging; facesitting; femdom/malesub; gentle domination; intercrural; mirror sex; multiple orgasms; mutual masturbation; pegging; praise kink; service topping; vibrators; wax play. And if the scene goes into BDSM territory, aftercare!

However! I am also a very, very big fan of non-sexual intimacy. Kissing, hugging, cuddling, spooning, literal sleeping together, massages, holding hands, words of affirmation...I could go on and on. Love it all. If you headcanon a character in a requested pairing as asexual, go for it!

Special shoutout to characters bathing together (preferably in a very large bathtub or similar body of water). It can easily lead to sex, and I don’t mind if it does, but I almost prefer if it doesn’t cross that line.

General DNW: 24/7 D/s, A/B/O, abuse between characters in requested pairings, ageplay, amnesia, ass to mouth, BDSM society AU, bestiality, bloodplay in settings without magical healing, breathplay, cancer, canon bi character portrayed as straight or gay, canon gay character portrayed as straight or bi, cheating/infidelity by character in a requested pairing, crossovers, daddy/mommy kink, death of a character's parent(s) as a major plot element (references to canon parent death OK but try not to linger too long on it), describing genitals of any kind as "weeping", dub-con, eating disorders, enemas, explicit underage, fake relationship, feederism, fisting, guro, hatesex, humiliation kink, incest, inflation, kidfic (canon kids OK but I'd rather not have a fic centering around them), lactation kink, love triangles, maledom/femsub, necrophilia, nipple clamps, permanent death of a character in a requested pairing, petplay, plots centered around prejudice or -isms, pregnancy, rape/non-con, rape roleplay/consensual non-consent, reader insert, rimming, scat, school-related AU, self-harm, sex in public places, soulmates AU, sounding, spanking, vore, watersports/omorashi, zombies

Some of these fandoms/pairings have more written about them than others. Please don’t take that as an indication that I’ll be disappointed if you pick a pairing or fandom I’ve written less about here--I really will be happy with any of these pairings!

Cinderella Phenomenon

(Psst...this is a free game...consider playing it?)

Delora/Parfait: I didn’t consider this pairing until I saw it in the tagset and now I 100% ship it. Love me a goth witch and pastel fairy couple. I’d like to see them negotiating around the drastically different perceptions of witches and fairies in Angielle. Or maybe something a bit fluffy, like sharing a stolen moment away from the Marchen, or just taking a break from the trials of everyday life.

Pairing-specific DNW: Work set during/after Rumpel’s, Waltz’s, or Fritz’s routes

Lucette Riella Britton/Karma: While I enjoyed the game as a whole, I think Karma’s route was my favorite. For all his eccentricities, Karma recognizes Lucette’s terrible upbringing and how it affected her before the other characters do, and the fact that he’s a prince means that you can get up to some really nice royal intrigue and politics with this pairing. (Also, I wonder--does Karma continue to wear dresses after his curse is broken, just for the fun of it?)

Pairing-specific DNW: Explicit smut (fade-to-black is fine)

Dragon Age

Fandom-specific DNW: Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor sides with templars, rivalmances for DA2 LIs, Cullen as major character

Alistair/Male Surana: Oh, Alistair, my first DA love. Even though he never actually became a templar, he was still trained as one, and I think that could cause some issues in a relationship with a mage. And being an elf mage? Whew. Even though I don’t want something where Alistair becomes king, I’m fine with something where they discuss the possibility of Alistair becoming king, as long as they ultimately decide not to put him on the throne. You could also do something set after DAO/Awakening, where both are active Wardens--maybe they’ve been separated for a few months for Warden-y reasons and they’ve just reunited?

Pairing-specific DNW: Alistair as king, Loghain recruited into Wardens

Fenris/Hawke: Any gender Hawke is fine (I just have m!Fenhawke tagged because it was in the tagset). My Hawke is female, but feel free to write male or nb Hawke; my Hawke is also a mage, because I like the idea of them falling in love despite the tension that causes between them--but if you’d rather write a warrior/rogue Hawke, that’s also good. (If you want to include specific details about my Hawke: she’s named Samantha, specializes in healing, and is mostly purple/joking with a blue/diplomatic streak. I headcanon her as asexual even if it can’t really be replicated in the game. But I’ll be fine with whatever Hawke you choose to write.)

Zevran Arainai/Warden: Like with Fenris, I’m not picky about which genre or origin you pick and only put in the tags in the set for matching purposes. My Zev-romancing Warden is a f!Brosca, but if you prefer another gender/origin, do whatever you want. These two are my favorite enemies-to-lovers pairing, in part because Zevran never had any hard feelings for the Warden in the first place. (And the Warden telling Nathaniel “Some of my best friends have attempted to kill me” during Awakening gains a whole new level of hilarity with romanced Zev.) Zev comes across as a devil-may-care flirt, but he turns out to be a respectful lover if you actually put the effort to get to know him beyond surface level. (Also, that cool-ass Crow armor from the World of Thedas artbook. A+)

Female Lavellan/Josephine Montilyet: Josie! (｡♥‿♥｡) And I romance her with a f!Lavellan, so it’s a nice coincidence that this was in the tagset lol. I’ll be good with just about anything you come up with for this pairing. Josephine is one of the few non-Dalish characters who at least tries to be respectful of Lavellan’s Dalish heritage, even if she is a bit clumsy about it sometimes. My Lavellan is a lesbian mage named Ilena if you’re interested in including those details, but I’ll be happy with any f!Lavellan.

Josephine Montilyet/Cassandra Pentaghast: Fun fact--I ship this because of a bondage fic I read lmao. They have a very interesting dynamic--a warrior who kills on a regular basis (even if for a good cause); a diplomat who has renounced violence. I won’t be picky about anything for this pairing, either.

Good Omens

Fandom-specific DNW: Reverse AU (I don’t mind these but I’m not interested in receiving one), Aziraphale falling, smut involving Crowley’s snake form, work set before Crowley’s fall, strict top/bottom dynamics

Note: I’ve read the book and watched the series. I’m fine with stuff set in either canon (hence why I requested both). If you want to combine elements from both, that’s cool too.

Aziraphale/Crowley: My most recent love. I have lots and lots of feelings (at least a billion) about these two. Enough that I have a goddamn LIST.

I’m fine with any combination of genders/presentations/efforts/pronouns for these two. I headcanon Aziraphale as being agender with he/him pronouns and Crowley as genderfluid, but again, anything works. Lately I’ve adored fics and art of butch female-presenting Aziraphale, too.

Chubby Aziraphale!! I love!! So much!! Dovetails very well with my interest in body worship (sexual or otherwise). Crowley loves his soft angel!! So much!! And! So much cuddling potential!! (More serious note: I’m not a huge fan of stuff where Aziraphale is extremely self-conscious about his body. Surely he’d miracle himself a different shape if he hated it so much? And he’s been around for millennia, so he’s witnessed beauty standards change drastically over time. It makes more sense in human AUs, but it’s still something I tolerate more than enjoy.)

I’m a big fan of “Aziraphale and Crowley through history” stuff. Pick a time period you like and go wild. Personally, I have a huge soft spot for the 1920s--Crowley would look amazing in a flapper dress. (Realistic or Hollywood-style, take your pick.) (I know that according to the TV script they didn’t see each other between the fight at St James and the church scene, but...bah. Flapper Crowley!!) Some great opportunities for mutual pining, or if you want to write an AU where they got together before the Notpocalypse, go for it.

I have a big soft spot for stuff where Crowley is in his snake form (no smut, please--if the story turns that way I want him in his human form for sex)

I will never ever get tired of “first love confession” or “first kiss” stories for these two because I am a romantic sap who just wants them to be happy (they’ve spent so long not being able to be close to each other! they deserve it!!)

Outsider POVs: “random normal person weirded out by bizarre relationship between fussy bookseller and his goth husband” is one of my favorite fandom tropes

Praise kink! I mentioned this in my general smut likes but it bears repeating here. The major fanon is Crowley having a praise kink, which is wonderful and valid (tfw your crush calls you nice and it turns you on so much you try to play it cool by shoving him against a wall). I’ve seen some stuff recently with Aziraphale having a praise kink and now that’s an idea. (He’s spent so long just wanting to be good for Heaven! Even though Heaven’s standard for what’s good is kind of terrible and they hate him anyway so he’d never be good enough for them! But Crowley knows that Aziraphale is good and he’s more than willing to tell him every little thing he loves about him! aaaaaaaa) Regardless of who has the kink, I think they’d be a bit embarrassed at first at having it found out (Crowley: “Being turned on by compliments? C’mon, that’s not me” [it’s totally him]/Aziraphale: “It’s...a bit selfish, isn’t it?” [but since when has that stopped him]), but the other would be more than willing to indulge. (And while Aziraphale is naturally suited to provide praise, given how good he is with words, I think Crowley could grow into the role too, in his own way.)

Heart of the Woods

Tara Bryck/Morgan Fischer, Abigail Dalsing/Madison Raines: I put these two together because they’re so intertwined in the original game, but if you want to focus on one pairing over the other, that’s great! Something that really interests me would be seeing how Morgan and especially Abby would react to the...idiosyncrasies of modern-day America. Also, Abby being introduced to the internet could be hilarious. (Also also, Morgan getting to live her best butch life, and Tara being her slightly overly enthusiastic cheerleader.) On a more serious note, how does Maddie move on after leaving Taranormal?

Lake of Voices

(Psst...this is also a free game...consider playing it too?)

Kikka/Margret: I’m less interested in fluff for this pairing thanks to how dark the original material is, but I’d still rather not have something totally grim. Margret’s route isn’t truly romantic, not really, but considering the short period of time the game takes place during, that’s not surprising--so I’d like to see how their relationship progresses after the events of the game.

Mass Effect Trilogy

Fandom-specific DNW: Sabotaging the genophage cure; Control/Synthesis/Refusal endings; synthetics dying in Destroy ending (yes I know this is canon, no I don’t care; please don’t do post-ME3 if you aren’t willing to work around this); dead Wrex; no peace between geth and quarians (for ME3)

Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian: While Shakarian isn’t my favorite ME pairing, I do still love it. No Shepard without Vakarian, after all. They work so well as a battle couple and have such great chemistry. My Garrus-romancing Shepard is a Paragade Vanguard named Elliott, Earthborn/War Hero if you want those details.

Female Shepard & Mordin Solus: Death DNW doesn’t apply to this one; hit me with all the feels over Mordin’s death (I don’t like what you have to do for him to survive). Or avoid the issue by doing something set during ME2. Alien Sex Ed is always a classic trope, or something more serious regarding Mordin’s past as an STG operative or his work with the genophage.

Grunt & Female Shepard: Shepard is very proud of her strong krogan vat bby.

Kolyat Krios & Female Shepard: With or without Shep/Thane (”YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”), either works. If there’s romance, how does Kolyat react to his missing dad showing up with a human girlfriend? Does Shepard try to become a part of Kolyat’s life or does she try to stay out of it? There’s less reason for Shepard to get involved if there’s no Thanemance, but I think there’s still opportunity there, since Kolyat and Thane keep in contact after the loyalty mission is completed.

Pairing-specific DNW: Thane dying

Thane Krios/Female Shepard: My favorite ME pairing! At least until BW fucked it up in ME3. (I still kind of haven’t forgiven them.) They have a very mature relationship, I think--both of them a bit weary--and they find solace in each other, at least until the inevitable. I would prefer a fic set during ME2, or in the time period between the end of ME2 and Shepard being detained before ME3. If you want to make something set during ME3, I’d like to see him receive treatment (not necessarily a cure, though I won’t complain if you go that route, but preferably something more realistic than “oh I took a pill and now I’m all better!” or similar) for Kepral’s. I also don’t like the defeatist “well, I guess I’m just gonna lay down and die now” attitude he has when you meet him at Huerta in ME3; it clashes so much with his entire ME2 arc, which has him realize that he does still have things to live for (his son, for one, and Shepard if you romance him). If you’re interested in details about my Shepard: her name is Diana; she’s a Paragon Infiltrator, Colonist/War Hero.

Pairing-specific DNW: Excessive focus on his illness (I know it’s a big part of his character, and I don’t expect people to avoid it entirely, but I don’t enjoy stuff that’s centered totally around it); Irikah bashing or trying to portray her as unimportant

Nyreen Kandros/Aria T’Loak: (STILL SCREAMING ABOUT BADASS TURIAN LADY) I want to see something from when these two were still together, or a fix-it where Nyreen doesn’t die and she and Aria enter a (possibly uneasy) truce. Less concerned about happiness for this one as long as neither of them dies; I’m fine if it ends up that their relationship just doesn’t work out.

EDI/Samantha Traynor: Geeky lesbian with a robot kink + sexy fembot = ooh la la. On a serious note, how would a human/AI relationship work? There’s a lot of possibilities here.

Stardew Valley

Fandom-specific DNW: Player siding with Joja-Mart

Abigail/Female Player, Elliott/Player, Leah/Female Player, Maru/Female Player: I’m putting these together not because I think they’re interchangeable (they’re not), but because what I want is basically the same for each of them--slice-of-life about the farmer and their partner (either dating or married...or dating then married; no kids please), with emphasis on how the partner’s personality and lifestyle meshes, or doesn’t mesh, with the player’s farm life. Maybe there’s conflicts that have to be resolved, compromises that have to be made. (But I do want them to eventually work it out and be happy together.) If you pick Elliott/Player, I’m fine with whatever gender farmer you want.

Sweet Fuse: At Your Side

Inafune Saki/Meoshi Kouta: One thing I enjoyed about Meoshi’s route is how he doesn’t have to give up games entirely in order to deserve love and improve as a person, he just develops a healthier relationship with gaming. I like the idea of Kouta participating in a fighting game tournament with Saki cheering him on...or maybe he taught her how to play and she’s a competitor too now? DUN DUN DUN. (but it’s all in good fun)

Pairing-specific DNW: Explicit smut (fade-to-black is fine)

Original Work

Dethroned and Dishonored Queen/Lone Loyal Female Knight

Lady Locked in a Tower/Lady Who Turns Into a Hawk

Female Werewolf Hunter/Her Boyfriend Who Gets Turned Into a Werewolf

Female Tall Muscular Badass/Female Short Chubby Nerd

Hiker/Sporty Girl Who Sprained Her Ankle Miles from Nowhere

Grumpy Lonely Sorceress/Female Courtesan She Hires for a Ritual

Female Witch/Female Werewolf

Female Witch/Female Demon She Accidentally Summons

Female Knight/Female Bath Attendant with a Crush

Female Gamer/Female Bookworm

Female Court Painter/Impatient Princess Sitting for a Painting

Female Armorsmith/Female Warrior Who Needs Frequent Repairs

Female Adventurer Lost in the Snow/Female Fire Spirit

Male Speakeasy Bartender/Male Speakeasy Piano Player

Librarian/Her Monster-Hunting Wife Who Keeps Dragging Her Into Wacky Supernatural Adventures

Sensible Royal Guardswoman/Arrogant but Skilled Court Sorceress

Dark Mage/Light Mage

Beleaguered Playwright/Actress Cursed to Ruin Any Show She’s In

Female Vampire/Female Vampire Hunter

Victorian Lady/Victorian Lady

GO WILD. Just don’t hit my DNWs. For the pairings that don’t specify the genders of both members, I’d prefer f/f works.

[theloudmute-deadaccountwheee]

100 OC Questions

list created (I think?) by @the-moon-dust-writings I’m using Anti and Dark...but...my versions. Is that okay? Like, I’m not doing the canon ones so I’m not stepping on any toes, right? ...fuck I’mma do it anyway.  I need some OCs.

1. How do they present themselves to others? Anti: With caution, but only out of shyness, then opens up very easily after a while Dark: *bursts through the door* “Sup, fucknuts?” 2. Do they like animals? Anti: Domestic ones Dark: “Eh, they’re alright. Even better when they’re on my dinner plate :3″ 

3. How do they dress? Anti: Business casual Dark: Whatever’s on top of the laundry basket

4. How many languages do they know? Anti: Only english, but would love to learn more Dark: “I’m kinda good at spanish.”  Anti: “Wow, really? That’s neat!”  Dark: “ El español es el idioma más romántico, bebé.” Anti: “What?”  Dark: “Never mind.”    5. How big is their family? Anti: “I consider Dark, Sean, and Singe family.”  Dark: “Idk, I hate all of you except for Anti so. Anti.”  6. What is their purpose in the story? Anti: I always considered him to be a metaphor for my mental illness Dark: He is Anti’s protector. They need each other.  7. Do they know how to fight? Oh hell yeah both of ‘em do 8. What is their back story? Oh gracious me, if you’re that curious just find my old fan fics lol  9. Why is their name, their name? Anti: While in Jack/Sean’s head, he considered himself the opposite of Jack for a long time Dark: Dark didn’t have a name for MONTHS after his creation. Mark named him that as a joke because of his fan created character and it just stuck 10. Do they have any nick names? Anti: “Dark has tons for me. ‘Green bean’, ‘greenie’, ‘shorty’.  Dark: “Some anons on this hellsite call me Darkipoo for some reason.”  11. Do they have a romantic interest? They both love each other very much!!! 12. How do they cope with struggles? Anti: “...” He doesn’t like to talk about it, but, mostly when conflict arises, he goes berserk.  Dark: If he can punch it to death then problem probably solved. Or moaping/ignoring it if it can’t be punched  13. Do they have anyone they can lean on? Each other! 

14. How do they react to someone dying? Anti: Silence and becoming dead to the world Dark: Bottling everything inside 

15. Can you name 5 personality traits they have? Anti: Kind, timid, rash, easy going, welcoming Dark: Rash, wild, crude, humorous, dangerous    16. How did they become a character? Well... my versions, I guess? Anti came to be because all that stuff on Jack’s channel last year had me so hyped I was like “I have to write a horror story about this” and so I did. Then I was like, “I don’t want to stop. Let’s throw Dark into the mix.”  17. Do they get along with others? Anti: More than likey, yes. He’s always wanted friends.  Dark: “...eh.”  18. What flaws do they have? Anti: Going berserk, trusts people way too easily, jumps to conclusions, makes rash decisions Dark: Crude, snarky, also makes rash decisions, solves problems with his fists 19. How do they influence the story? Anti: I hope he serves as a beacon of hope. That no matter what problems we face, there’s good things comin’. Dark: He’s there for humor, he’s there to protect Anti, he’s a reminder to get what you want you gotta work hard at it 20. What do they look like? Anti: Bright green, mid long hair, black sceleras and green iris’, big ol’ puppy dog eyes, thin nose bridge but wide nostrils, LONG pointed ears, pale skin, tall waist Dark: Short red hair, short pointed ears, can change his eyes at any time but mostly looks like Anti’s bed with red iris’, wide nose 21. What are their hobbies? Anti: Cooking, painting, enjoying nature Dark: Fighting, fire magic, pestering people 22. What are their ticks? Anti: It’s hard to find anything that really bothers Anti. Well, bigotry and homophobia. Dark: “All these fuckin’ questions; there’s what, seventy more of these god damn things?”    23. Do they like children? Anti: Hasn’t had many interactions with kids Dark: “No.”  24. How do they react to being around wild animals? Anti: With caution Dark: “Can I eat it? I’mma kill it.”  25. If they were given the task to prank someone, who would it be, what would they do, and would the prank work? Anti: “Okay, don’t tell Dark but I want to cover all the doorways and the toilet seats with clear wrap *snickers*. Would that be the funnest thing?!”  Dark: “Kill a guy. What, that’s not a prank?”  26. Do they have any survival skills? Anti: If he weren’t a demon, he probably wouldn’t last long out in the wilderness on his own.  Dark: “Bitch I don’t need survival skills; you can’t kill me.”  27. Are they more book smart or street smart? Anti: “Well...okay, I guess I’m a bit of both? I’ve not read many books but I know all that Sean knows so...”  Dark: “STREET SMARTS I’LL CUT YA BITCH” 28. How do they get out of a difficult situation? Anti: Faces it head on, though hesitantly Dark: “SEE ABOVE I’LL CUT YA”  29. Do they use their body, mind, personality or force to get what they want? Anti: “I’d say my personality is pretty persuasive.”  Dark: “*laying on a bed, naked, rose in his mouth* Hey.”  30. What music do they enjoy? Anti: “I like all sorts of music! Modest Mouse, Mumford and Sons, Caravan Palace; chill stuff.”  Dark: “Heavy metal and rock baby. And uh...don’t tell anyone but uh...some blue grass.” 

31. How do they overcome obstacles? Anti: “I believe we were asked this already.”  Dark: “I’LL CUT YA.”  Anti: “Yeah, I think we’ve been asked variants of these.”  32. When faced with a difficult decision do they get stronger or break? They both get stronger. They’re like any good relationship; can be hurt, but never broken 33. Do they have any special powers? Anti: Going berserk, control over most technology, teleportation Dark: Fire magic and control over fire, teleportation, immortality, flightless wings made of fire   34. How do they change throughout the story? Anti: Learns to...well, be himself. He’s changed a lot over the course of this madness.  Dark: Learns to be less harsh...well, mostly towards Anti.  35. Do they have any friends? If so, are they close knit? Anti: “Sean and Signe! And Bea and Sukino, C-A, C-B, Marzia...a lot of people in the CDO, really!”  Dark: “No.”  Anti: “Come on, you have friends!”  Dark: “My two best friends are Ben and Jerry.” *holds up two pints of icecream*  Anti: “I don’t get it.”  36. How is their family life? Anti: “Considering I’ve already listed my family members, pretty good!”  Dark: “Same, I guess.”  37. Are they likable? You tell me!  38. Are they the hero, or anti-hero? Honestly, I think Dark is more of an anti-hero than Anti.  39. Do they make questionable choices? YES. Very rash decisions. They don’t think much before they act.  40. How do they become who they are? Time, love, and a lot of bloodshed.  41. How was their childhood? Anti’s childhood was miserable, considering he was trapped in Sean’s mind. Dark’s childhood was when he was created, about six years ago. Other than Mark trying to literally exercise him out of his house with a priest and everything, things were pretty okay.    42. Are they close with anyone who is going to screw them over? ...I WANT TO SPOIL SO MANY THINGS 43.How do they adapt to different situations? Do they adapt at all? Anti adapts and evolves very easily. I wanted that to mirror how technology advances and whatnot. Dark is kinda like an old man, stuck in his ways.  44. How do they speak? Examples - Are they soft spoken, hot heated, vulgar Anti: Calmly Dark: Quickly, hot heated, and vulgar  45. Are they opposed to violence? Anti: “I mean, no? It just kind of happens.”  Dark: “AW HELL NO I’MMA CUT--”  Anti: “WOuld you stop?!”  46. When is their birthday? Anti: “Halloween!”  Dark: “August? Was I born in August? I don’t think it was summer, it was kind of chilly.” 

47. Are they quick to judge? Anti: “I try not to be.”  Dark: “Fuck yes.”  48. Do they have anything they are trying to hide from others? Anti: “...the whole...berserk thing.”  Dark: “We’re trying to hide the fact I’m alive from the CDO. ...and my love of bluegrass.”  49. Do they act different around different people? Anti: “I try not to.”  Dark: “I think I have a total mood shift when I’m around Anti.”  50.Do they enjoy the arts? Anti: “Of course!”  Dark: “Cinema, plays, broadway, yeah but not like...painting and sculptures and shit.”  51. Do they like science? Anti: “Computers fascinate me.” Dark: “No but you should hear Mark talk about space holy shit.”    52. Are they more emotional or logical? Anti: “I try to be logical but emotions get in the way.”  Dark: “...same.”  53. How do they deal with their emotions? Anti: “Let them out. You gotta let ‘em out.”  Dark: Bottles everything up inside.  54. How do they cope with sadness? Anti: See “dealing with death”  Dark: Same  55. What is something they care about? Anti: “The safety of my loved ones.”  Dark: “Flaming hot cheetos.”  Anti: “...”  Dark: “What? OH, you too. Love you.”     56. Would they die for anyone/anything? They would most certainly die for each other.   57. What do they do when they are happy? Anti: Quietly soaks in the moment  Dark: You will certainly know when Dark is happy.  58. How would they come across to other characters? Examples- messy, lazy, childish, caring ect Anti: Shy, means well Dark: A douchebag  59. Do they have a phrase they use over and over? Anti: Nah not really Dark: “WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB! RIKKI TIKKI TAFFI BIIIIITCH!!!!”  Anti: “Just say no.”  60. In a crowed room are they in the corners, sides, or in the middle? Anti: more to the side, not hiding in a corner but not at the fore front either  Dark: in the middle and probably trying to take up as much room as possible 61. Are they comfortable being in a crowed room? Anti: Yeah, nothing to be afraid of. Just a room full of people.  Dark: Same 62. How do they relax? Anti: Thinkin’ tub  Dark: Liquor and a cigarette  63. Have they ever harmed anyone and regretted it? Verbally or physically? Anti: “...”  Dark: “...”  64. Do they like to dance? Anti: “Around the house, yeah, a little.”  Dark: *is dancing right now*  65. How do they get around their environment? Examples - horses, bike, vehicle They both walk around town or teleport  66. What is their pet peeve(s)? Anti: can’t think of any  Dark: EVERYTHING  67. Do they have a disability? No  68. How do they react to getting flowers? Anti: “How sweet! Thank you!”  Dark: “*blushing* Aw, uh...thanks.”  69. Would they ever wear a flower crown? Anti: “I’d love to!”  Dark: “Hell yeah, I’d rock it, too.”  70. Do they like themselves? Anti: “...”  Dark: “Fuck yeah, I love me.”  71. Who do they dislike? Anti: “I can’t think of anyone I’ve met that I don’t like yet.”  Dark: “Mostly everyone.” 

72. What is their motto? Anti: “Never give up.”  Dark: “GRAAAAAAAASS tastes bad. AIDS!”  Anti: “Stop quoting Rick and Morty.” 

73. Do they have any markings on their body? Anti: None Dark: Scars from Anti 74. Have they ever been abused? No  75. What is their biggest fear? Anti: Being trapped in Jack’s mind again Dark: Loosing Anti  76. What are their goals? Anti: Overcome his powers Dark: To die 77. How do they go about achieving their goals? Anti: Spars with Dark Dark: Hasn’t figured it out yet  78. Do they have a fight or flight response? Both of them have a fight response  79. Is there someone in their life that they care about more than themselves? Each other  80. How would they fair in zombie apocalypse? They would do JUST fine.  81. Do they have any tattoos? If so, are they significant? Anti: “I’d love to get a tattoo one day!”  Dark: “Me too. Right on my ass.”  82. Are they good at mental math? Anti: “I’m not good at...any math.”  Dark: “Fuck math.”  83. Do they get along with others? Anti: Very well!  Dark: No  84 Are they lazy? Anti: No, he does most everything around the house  Dark: Very lazy  85. Are they self motivated? Anti: Yes  Dark: Needs a push  86. How do they cope with anger? Anti: If he’s angry, he kinda hulks out  Dark: Punches his way through life and his problems  87. Have they ever been in a situation where they were helpless? Both of them have. Very emotional.  88. Are they organized or messy? Anti: Organized.  Dark: Messy.  89. Can they remember a lot of information at once? Anti: Anti probably can Dark: “lol no”  90. What is their occupation? Anti was a stock boy at a grocery store and Dark was forced to be a CDO knight 91. Do other characters respect your OC, if so, is it out of fear? Or do they respect your OC because they like them? No one really fears Dark, so yeah, they respect Dark to an extent. No one has admitted they’re afraid of Anti, they don’t want to hurt his feelings.  92. If they were given minutes to live, what would they do? Who would they want to see and say? Anti: “Dark and only Dark. I’d want...I’d NEED him to hold me. I can’t tell him enough how much I love him.”  Dark: “I. Can’t. Die.”  93. How do they deal with stress? I mean, how they handle other emotions, really.  94. Do they have a more submissive or dominate personality type? Anti: Submissive Dark: Dominate 95. Do they have a pet? Anti: “I want a dog SO BAD!” Dark: “...maybe I should surprise Anti with a dog one day...”  96. Do they have a stash of weapons? Anti: No  Dark: “Bitch, I AM a weapon.” 

97. Where do they live? Who do they live with? In brighton with each other!  98. How do they calm themselves down? Dark sings Anti to sleep. Dark never calms down.  99. Are they co-dependent? They need each other.  100. Are they a day, or night person? Anti: Night person Dark: “I don’t sleep, either, so I’m like...an all the time person.”