#baal teshuva

[hindahoney]

I get a lot of questions about keeping kosher, and I've answered many questions about how to start, tips & tricks, etc, but I've never really discussed shabbat observance. So, if you're someone who is looking to introduce some more observances into your life and keeping some form of shabbat interests you, here's some advice from my own experiences of being a baal teshuva. If anyone wants to add things, feel free.

Obligatory I'm not a rabbi, this is just my experience and things I've picked up from trying to be more observant, and I highly advise speaking to a Rabbi before starting.

First, keeping Shabbat should ideally be a pleasant and relieving experience, not a chore or a burden. Shabbat is truly a gift, and I wish for every Jew that they are able to experience even a little bit of her beauty and serenity in their lives. Shabbat is a wonderful opportunity to elevate a day of the week, and spend it doing things you otherwise would feel you have little to no time for during the other busy days. It is a reminder of what's important: enjoying our lives where they are, being thankful for what we have, and spending it with those that we love. It's an opportunity to be reminded that we don't just exist to work, we are human beings who are here for a short time, and we deserve one day of peace and rest.

That being said, do not attempt every law all at once. You will inevitably get frustrated and quit. Many people who keep shabbat have done it their entire lives, so it's like second nature to them. Don't compare yourself to their level of observance if you're just starting out. I think you should also educate yourself on each of the laws of Shabbat, where they come from and why we observe them.

Start small by eliminating things one by one and lighting candles with the prayer. If you don't have it memorized, there is no shame in writing it down to have it in front of you (If you have a friend who is also interested in increasing their observance, you could go through these things together, or just invite people over for a meal!) You could start the first week by not checking emails, the next by not checking social media or texts, and slowly work your way up to not using your phone. Be sure to inform your friends, family, and if possible your work, that you will be unavailable for this day. Ditching a social media addiction is hard, it's hard to wean yourself off of constantly scrolling looking for a distraction, but it's also freeing to be able to take control again and set boundaries for yourself of when you'll be available to people and when you won't.

In addition to eliminating things, you should add activities that make you feel relaxed and happy. Focusing on your hobby or starting a new one, reading a book or the weekly parsha. Learn some shabbat songs or prayers. While I'm baking challah and preparing for the meal, I like to set the mood by having a playlist on the TV of shabbat songs. I also like to write in a journal before shabbat setting an intention for what I want to accomplish or get out of this week's observance, and once Shabbat is over I will write about what I managed to do, what I didn't manage to do, and ideas for how to make it better in the future.

Also, put tape on your light switches once you feel ready to not use electricity!! It is such a mindless thing that we do, you will turn them on and off unintentionally. Don't forget to do this on the inside of your fridge as well. It may be wise to invest in a shabbat lamp or shabbat counter-top food warmer, or timers for your light switches to avoid some problems in the future. Also, pre-tear toilet paper and paper towels or get a box of tissues, and prepare some food for the next day that doesn't need to be re-heated. It also isn't a bad idea to put a playlist on of shows or youtube videos you've been meaning to watch and keeping it running from before Shabbat, if you want that before you can eliminate it altogether.

I also advise doing something this day of the week that you don't do any other day of the week, to make it feel more special. It could be something small, like using a different tablecloth or your "special" cutlery/dishes, or giving tzedakah. Just something to make it unique from the other days.

Finally, I want to reiterate that you need to be patient with yourself. You will mess things up. You cannot "fail" at Shabbat. If you mess up, don't say "Well, I already did something wrong, I might as well not finish this week's and I'll just do it again next week." Stick with it, even if you mess up. Again, if anyone has tips for others looking to be more observant, feel free to leave them here!

[midnightrabbiinspired]

Nissim Black Special Class for Midreshet Moriah - Unity Bookings - Melava Malka with Joy - Eli Goldsmith - Shirat David - Emuna Tour 2023 - Rav Shalom Arush Translated By Rav Shlomo Katz!!

Summary #NissimBlack Special Class for the girls of Midreshet Moriah – #UnityBookings – Girls are doing a review and look forward to R Nissim’s return – based in Jerusalem! Big thanks to Eli Goldsmith & UB NB Team – UnityInspireProjects.com Melava Malka with Joy 🤩 by Eli Goldsmith – Shirat David – Emuna Tour 2023 – Rav Shalom Arush Translated By Rav Shlomo Katz!…

[milksockets]

christo + jeanne-claude - jacob baal-teshuva (2001)

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

Since my previous post didn't turn up anything comprehensive like I was hoping for, I'm just going to do an informal writeup of advice on how to approach traditional Jewish observance with limited funds. I am not a rabbi or formal educator or anything official, nor is this in any way exhaustive. This is just based on my experiences as a 30ish year old adult who converted Conservative with no prior familial connections to Judaism and did so on a limited budget. I strive for traditional observance and would describe my practice as leaning more traditional egalitarian or Conservadox rather than what is most common for typical Conservative Jews in the US.

Okay? Okay.

Taking up traditional observance on a limited budget

So you're looking into traditional Jewish observance for the first time, either as a reclaimant, baal teshuva, or convert. One of the the first things you probably realized is that this lifestyle - especially the initial startup costs - is expensive. If, like me, you started reeling from the sticker shock but don't want to let that dissuade you out of stubbornness, commitment to Torah, or both, you're probably wondering where to go from here. Here is a list of things that you will need or want for an observant lifestyle that could cost money (some of this may be different based on your community and/or gender):

Ritual use (and practical use) items:

Mezuzot with a kosher klaf inside for each halachic doorway

Shabbat candles and candlesticks

Kiddush cup

Havdalah set

Challah cover

Tzedekah box

Tallit

Tefillin

Handwashing cup (and basin)

Tzniut clothing (this may be incredibly community specific) that is also practical

Tallit katan

A legitimate and covering rain coat

Walking shoes that you're not embarrassed to wear at shul (no really)

Kippot (and any other relevant head coverings, depending on your community)

**Replacing any kitchen utensils, appliances, and dishes that cannot be kashered if you're starting from scratch in keeping kosher, possibly ×2 or even ×3 depending on whether you intend to have a dual kitchen (or a meat, dairy, and pareve set of kitchen items)

Sukkah/building materials and decorations

Lulav & Etrog (these are plants; they are for ritual use but you will need to buy them each year obviously)

Menorah & Chanukah candles

Pesach dishes and kitchen utensils (noted separately because not everything is likely to be able to be kashered over for Pesach from year round) and any additional cleaning and covering items (so much tin foil lol)

Seforim (religious books)

Siddur

Bentcher(s)

Chumash

Tanakh

Practical halacha/practice guides and other basic reference books

Ongoing expenses:

Tzedekah (including special holiday giving such as mishloach manot and extra tzedekah for Purim or maot chitim for Pesach)

Shul membership fees

Kosher food is often more specialized and therefore more expensive, especially Pesach food

Wine or grape juice for Shabbat

Extra food if you're hosting people for Shabbat or potentially to bring to your host's home if you are invited over frequently

Specialized food for holidays (e.g., special fruit on Rosh Hashana, blintzes on Shavuot, brisket or matzah ball soup on Pesach, etc.)

Mikvah costs if you are married, menstruate (or have a spouse who does) and are shomer taharat mishpachat and/or if your community has a tradition of men using the mikvah before, e.g. Shabbat and holidays. Even if you don't need the mikvah for personal reasons, you will still need to pay a fee to immerse for conversion (if relevant) and to toivel any new kitchen items. You will also need bedika cloths for taharat mishpachat.

Housing in an area that allows you to walk to your shul, ideally within an eruv

Day school/Hebrew school if you have kids, and summer camp during the summers

Fees for certain classes and events; especially if you are a convert, you will likely need to pay for an Intro to Judaism course through your shul or at another local shul.

Other things that are extremely helpful, make observant life much easier and more pleasant, may help you fit into your community better, and/or enable more advanced participation, or are just nice to have:

Timers for electronics on Shabbat and Yom Tovim

Light switch covers for Shabbat

Hot water carafe for Shabbat/Yom Tovim

Plata or other type of warmer for Shabbat lunch and/or seudah shlishit

Specific laundry dealibobs (idk what they're actually called) for keeping your tzitzit in good condition

Shabbosdik watch

Shabbos key (especially if you live outside the eruv, but it's good to have for if the eruv goes down anyways)

Light box and/or thrip cloth for bug-checking produce

Bedikat chametz set

Purim costumes

If, like me, you owned exactly zero white clothes before now, you may want to invest in a white outfit for Yom Kippur &/or a kittel

Shofar (if you plan on contributing to your shul that way)

Etrog container and lulav transport bag

Machzor

Haggadot

Aramaic dictionaries for Talmud study

(Depending on the community) some amount of the Talmud

Commentaries

Tikkun

Talpiot

An extra bookshelf for all your Jewish books (not a joke)

Hebrew language classes and learning materials (which are extremely helpful in getting you integrated and up to speed)

This list doesn't even touch on things you might just want, like attractive judaica (hiddur mitzvah), jewelry, Jewish art and decor, etc.

(I also didn't touch on things that are part of major simchas such as bnei mitzvot or weddings, or travel to Israel, or studying in seminary, or other significant but highly specific expenditures that are unfortunately outside the scope of this one layperson's tumblr post)

Oy, that's a lot! This list (with a few exceptions) was generated by me going through everything I've had to invest in over time and ongoing expenses (or that I've had to find a workaround for), or things that are on my list for later when I have the funds.

I'm sure there's plenty I forgot. Where to even start?

Well, the first thing to note is that what I have took seven and a half years (and counting) to obtain, so don't expect to compile this all at once, and don't worry that you'll have to have all that money/resources marshaled up front. It will take time, and that's okay!

The other good news is that while some of this is nice to have, there's a lot that is not immediately (or ever) necessary for most/all folks to personally own, even if it is common for observant folks to own them.

A reality: Sometimes you're going to feel poor, and there will likely be a lot of people in your community who just, won't get it. Sometimes those people are in leadership. Yes this sucks and is sometimes really painful.

A counterbalance to that reality: A lot of people and communities are extremely generous and kind, even if they don't quite get it. Tzedekah is a huge mitzvah, and it is an added bonus for a lot of folks if that tzedakah goes toward enabling another Jew to observe more mitzvot. Hosting is also a major mitzvah. By accepting other people's help and being a guest at their Shabbos table, you are actually doing them a favor by giving them an opportunity to give tzedakah and host. Drill that into your head now, and early; don't be ashamed to ask for and receive help.

Now that I've laid all that out, some general advice. I will follow up later with specifics for each item from the above lists to the best of my ability in a later post.

Skip the judaica store for anything you can get at a thrift store. Candlesticks? Goodwill. B'samim jar? Find a cute container and throw some spices in there. Kiddush cup? Get a cute cup or wine glass at Target.

Start small, and take on one mitzvah at a time. It can be frustrating to have to wait, but it will help you pace yourself in reshaping your lifestyle, which is actually a very good thing. Also, before you take up a particular new mitzvah, learn deeply about it first so that you understand what is actually required, and what is customary (minhag) or stringency (chumra). You may not need the specialty pre-approved [read: more expensive] version of the thing if you know enough of what you're doing.

See if your shul, another nearby shul, or JCC ever has a community rummage sale. If so, check that out for secondhand menorahs, tallitot, siddurim, etc. (If not, consider suggesting that they do to leadership that organizes events or offer to organize it yourself if you're on that committee.) Also check out thrift stores and secondhand bookstores in particularly Jewish areas.

Talk to your rabbi about your needs. Your rabbi may have good suggestions that are specific to your area/community, may have discretionary funds to help, or may know folks who would be willing to pass on extra judaica they don't need.

Your shul may also have items you can borrow. I was able to, for example, borrow a machzor for the high holidays, and borrow a set of tefillin for nearly two years while I saved up for my own set. (And even then, the rabbi helped cover half of the cost from discretionary funds when I did purchase my own set, and was happy to do so.)

Honestly, just borrow whatever books you can until you can get your own. You can do this from your shul, your shul's library if they have one, or even the public library for reference books and certain commentaries. I would buy them in the following order: the siddur your shul uses, a chumash, a Tanakh, and then whatever else you're interested in. Sefaria.org is an incredible free online resource, but you'll want these for Shabbat and Yom Tovim sooner rather than later.

Talk to your rabbi or shul leadership about reduced membership fees, or join a shul that has a pay-what-you-can fee structure.

Look for classes that are free, have a sliding scale fee structure, or scholarships. If you're dead-set on a particular class and it doesn't advertise reduced fees or scholarships based on need, reach out to the organizers and ask. They might not have advertised it, but would be able to ask if someone would sponsor a student or give you ideas of other funds you could apply for.

Keep a wish list updated, and if friends or family are buying you birthday or holiday gifts, ask for important (and specific) items. I recommend an online registry so that you get the specific thing you need/want.

For specialty kosher food, see if your area has a kosher co-op so you can buy for bulk prices. (This is especially helpful for Pesach.)

These are general suggestions, but there's a lot more. Stay tuned!

[cosmicanger]

christo + jeanne-claude - jacob baal-teshuva (2001)

[torahtot]

wait this is so sad i was just thinking honestly if im ever not doing well ill pull a whole scheme where i pretend to be a baal teshuva and ill go to waterbury or something and then ill pull all my jewish music scene connections and become a #inspiring singer and make tons of money. and then i remember im a #girl so i cant really do that. best i could hope for is to become an instagram influencer and sing at women's events for moms of OTD teenagers. sad!

[wenevergotusedtoegypt]

You are such a supportive sister. usually find baal teshuva to become extreme and criticize anyone that is different whereas you are respectful and understanding.

Wow, “you aren’t like the rest of that demographic that you belong to that sucks,” gee, thanks!

[eriecanal]

1, 2, and 15 for the 2023 reading asks!

soooo many things! i’m hoping to make my way through some classics i haven’t gotten around to and books i’ve been meaning to read for awhile. among them — anna karenina by leo tolstoy, pale fire by vladimir nabokov, love in the time of cholera by gabriel garcía márquez, detransition, baby by torrey peters, and the brothers karamazov by fyodor dostoyevsky. i’m pretty interested in classic russian lit at the moment in general lol

there are a few nonfiction books i really want to finish — american originality by luise glück and a little devil in america by hanif abdurraqib. both are collections of essays. and my mom’s christmas gift to me was chagall by jacob baal teshuva, a chronicle of chagall’s early life and work, as well as his important later pieces.

15. i always read a lot of news so i’m planning to continue that. otherwise, i want to read a lot more lit journals and independent articles (on medium, sub stack, etc). on the lit mags front, i have a collection of long form stories from ploughshares that i’m very excited for :)

[socalledfreethinker]

DA2 was like what if we made the most beautiful man in the world and what if we made him the Andrastian version of a baal teshuva and what if he wants a CHASTE MARRIAGE?

[hindahoney]

Wild and revolutionary concept: maybe don't treat converts like trash just because they're converts? And also don't ask someone if they're a convert in a public setting?

[worldsandemanations]

christo + jeanne-claude - jacob baal-teshuva (2001)

[milksockets]

wrapped monuments in christo + jeanne-claude - jacob baal-teshuva (2001)

[arieltabarziatorah]

Ariel Tabarzia- Hashem wants you to be consistent and succeed!!!

Nowadays with an influx in motivational speeches given by all sorts of people, we can all get a taste of what really determines a person's success. With today's world, with a tap of a button you can access billionaires speaking about how they got to where they are. Advice that you normally would only be able to access with personal connections back in the day.

There are common traits very successful people emphasize, whether you're speaking about success in physical terms or real success which combines the physical with the spiritual like building an empire in this world to serve Hashem and bring his lost children home.

The concept known as CONSISTENCY is the key to one's success.

A famous story from Rebbe Akiva, The most famous Baal Teshuva in Judaism. His whole perspective changed by seeing a hole in a rock due to a consistent drop of water hitting it for a prolonged period of time.

Consistency is what will determine your success. Not whether you like doing it or if it makes you happy, because those attributes will eventually arise because we learn from our sages that after one does it over and over again follows the heart, meaning even if you don't do it Lishma (with intent) you will eventually come to do it for its true purpose and will eventually come to doing it with happiness and true passion.

In life, many of us find things difficult but as time and time again we learn the lessons of life, we realize with persistent effort and davening to Hashem we can and will succeed, and it's all about consistency.

Each time you get up after a fall, or keep fighting and refuse to give up, you chip away a bit of your yetzer hara (Evil inclination). Next time it will be easier for you to do what you did beforehand and so on.

Never fear, and May we all succeed Bezrat Hashem in fulfilling our Tafkid (life's purpose) in this world.

[midnightrabbiinspired]

TuBAv to Elul Soulmate Flow - Engagement Truths!

TuBAv to Elul Soulmate Flow – Engagement Truths! Happy 😃 22nd Engagement Soulmate – apologies for the almost 2-month delay (check out the last episode the Baal Teshuva Flow). https://open.spotify.com/show/3uwGYK4lP29FyGaAkjQvrQ We celebrate 22 years as engagement time was and is a significant milestone. Also, our recent trip to London (cover photo by MD Goldsmith) – and daily struggle in the…