#baby's first fic post please be gentle 🥺🥺🥺

[wondeurwall]

AUTHOR'S NOTE. here's the other preview for the rafayel fic that i said i would post. tysm for the notes on all my previous ones!! i appreciate it 🥺💕💕 no particular warnings for this, so it's fine to interact with. but, i still do want to make the reminder that the fic will eventually be nsfw 🔞

currently 15k with it... definitely a slow burn. i'm a little worried that it might not be all that interesting because of how long it's getting to be, which is totally fine too. i don't expect it to be for some. feel good experience for me then 😆 💕 i'll make another poll about posting other previews over the week!

WARNINGS. none for this part. unless... mutual feelings? kiss?

“Then, how about I call you… sweetheart?” Rafayel gently takes your face into his hands, rubs his thumbs over the apples of your cheeks. He leans in little by little, gives the anticipation something worthwhile for, and until his breath is long drawn-out above yours, you hold it in absently. You feel his warmth once, then again. Soft, tender kisses. “Is that better?” 

You breathe out, humming in approval. 

“Baby?”

He kisses the tip of your nose, and then brushes his own against yours. Back and forth, back and forth. He takes his time with it. Thoughtful and loving.

“Cutie?”

His lips find the bridge of your nose. A gentle peck between your brows. He’s moving over to your left eye, and you flutter both closed, smiling, waiting to feel his sign of affection. One kiss, then another on your right. The sensation tickles, makes you feel a bit intoxicated too. Giddy and light-headed, an out-of-body experience, it’s almost as if you’re on top of cotton candy clouds. The flavor is sweeter than honey. You wish you could somehow gather it, save it by pouring it inside a bottle and get drunk off of it every night. 

The happiness on your face and the laughing whispers, they make Rafayel’s heart swell.

“Beautiful?” 

Beautiful. Absolutely, unequivocally beautiful. How are you even possible?

As his thumb swipes your lower lip, your mouth parts in nervous excitement. He’s so close now; you can taste the air, how desire fills it completely, standing just an inch away. A single step forward, and it’ll be yours, yours, yours.

“Can I?”

Rafayel. Rafayel. Everything is Rafayel and you begin to shake. God only knows just how badly you need to close this distance. You want it gone. You want him.

You murmur, “Kiss me. Please.”

It feels risky, feels scary even to ask him. But, you’re all in, here and now, and when his lips finally meet yours, sweet and slow, the little thing in your chest beats once. 

It stops moving. 

Then, it restarts. 

Blood pumping in the opposite direction, you suddenly know what it feels like to be alive. You can’t explain it – you’ve reached a time and space no one else has brought you before. Except for him. You know this. It resembles home. It is home. It’s painful. It’s liberation. You’ve been wanting this for so long and it’s only now that you realize you’ve been deprived of it, of you and him like this. 

You’re dying. You’re reviving. The desperation is heavy in your bones, heavy in your mind, and it doesn’t seem like it’s a coincidence everything about this moment fits together, as if it belonged here in the first place. 

Just as Rafayel pulls back, a reluctance washes over you. A staggering intensity like no other. Fire in your chest, it spreads aggressively. It burns, it burns, and you burn up – lungs are filling with smoke, and you need the air from him again. You need more. The thought drifts in your head, though your body is moving before you can say anything. Your hand reaches for his, guiding him back into your direction as you tip forward, chasing after his lips.

You plead, “Don’t–” 

You hear him gasp, then he’s breathing a bit harder, trembling inhales and exhales, at your desperation. There’s a brief wonder if he should give into his personal desires now. He thinks it wouldn’t hurt to; can’t find any reason that tells him otherwise, so it shouldn’t hurt. It shouldn’t hurt, he repeats, not when you’re looking at him as if he holds the secret of the universe somewhere in his eyes. 

“Don’t stop yet, please.” 

Not when you sound like that. 

He’s not forcing you, he has to remind himself. You want this. It’s so obvious. Painfully obvious. He’s in over his head by the turn of events and, truthfully, it brings a bit of fear in him, but he refuses to leave you feeling unwanted if he doesn’t make up his mind at this moment. How can he do that? Make you feel unwanted?

“Is that what you want?” he asks. The extra affirmation is a need. Will not go until you can crush that seed of doubt. 

“Yes, yes, yes, Raf–” you bite your lower lip, frustration clawing at your throat. The knot of emotions inside there spills out in waves, currents wild and twisting in a way that mimics a hurricane over the ocean. It’s too hard to speak, to catch your breath. “I want it. Please, don’t leave me like this, Rafayel.” 

You don’t know it – not yet, or perhaps, never – but you have unimaginable power over him. Anyone would be scared. Not Rafayel. He can never deny you because doing that would mean pushing you further away than you already are. Close, so close, yet so far. Command him because you want him and no one else. Take everything that he has because you won’t settle for anything less. You can have it all – please, please, just say it. 

He’s desperate to know that you need him just as much as he needs you. 

You beg, “Rafayel.”

“Shh, I wouldn’t dream of it,” he whispers. He will never leave you.

Rafayel kisses you again, deeply, with a love so fierce. The fire is urgent and all-consuming, will never get enough until smoke clouds the air and the world is bled dry, until you and him are left to give your hearts to each other without fear. And, even then, his love will remain boundless and insatiable. 

He has his hands buried into your hair, fists full so you can’t escape. He is all that you have. Mouth crushing down onto yours, he does this with the hope to sear himself into your memory permanently. Maybe, with this, you won’t forget him. His lips are hard-pressed, but they melt, turn a bit softer, then deeper, so much deeper. Breathe his soul and know that this kiss isn’t just a kiss. Taste his addiction, his devotion; his feelings that will never know what it’s like to abandon. His vow to you. 

Every year that’s gone by has been a year worth waiting. 

When you gasp into his mouth, your voice echoes into his ears; it makes Rafayel sensitive, an induced high that forces his body to ache and shudder. Face flushed, eyes hazy, he’s becoming feverish. He’s pulling away again, only barely, as the sensitivity peels his voice raw. What he tells you comes so faintly, slips by you fast and low by mistake: “You’re everything.” 

He leans in one more time, lets his lips stay a little longer.

© 2024 wondeurwall ☆ all rights reserved. please don't repost as your own, modify or translate on here and on other platforms. reblogs & likes are appreciated! ♡

[healmydesires]

forever in your eyes (j.m)

pairing: joel miller x fem!reader

summary: It wasn’t like you hadn’t dated before. You had been on plenty of dates since you’ve been in Jackson, too many actually, you’ve even been in a semi serious relationship, but unfortunately, nobody had really charmed their way into your heart like they were supposed to. You’ve never been in love, always thought that falling in love wasn’t meant for you. Until one day, you meet a certain grumpy man.

genre: fluff + romance + angst + smut (18+ mdni)

word count: 15k+

tags/warnings: age gap (reader is 27, joel is in his early 50’s), takes place post s1, very minimal use of y/n, soft!joel tbh, kinda shy!reader… at least with joel, flirty joel, joel deserves to be loved, assumed unrequited love from both sides, reader described as shorter than joel, mutual pining, inexperienced/virgin!reader, unprotected sex, piv sex, loss of virginity, soft!dom joel, sub!reader, vaginal fingering, oral (f!receiving), joel has high key an oral fixation, kinda pleasure!dom?, multiple orgasms, creampie, some breeding kink, overstimulation, size kink, joel is huge… literally packing oof, lots of pet names (darlin, sweetheart, angel, baby girl, etc.), reader has a sister (named emilie, so if that’s your name I’m so sorry 😭😭😭 you can imagine another name then 🥺. I didn’t want it to be y/s/n because that would be so annoying to write imo).

a/n: this is my first joel fic. this is kinda more soft tbh… might be a bit oc? I don’t know but I love it. It’s pretty self indulgent !!! I’ve always loved writing but I got a lot discouraged in the past, giving up on it. I was inspired to start writing again by some of my favourite writers @joelmama and @joelscruff. also english is like my third language so please be nice/gentle with me. do not give me unsolicited advice pls <3 anyways! I hope you enjoy it 🥺

please don’t forget to interact, reblog or let me know if you read/loved it! <3 thank you ily 🥺

AO3 ● playlist

You knew you had feelings for Joel Miller. You’ve always liked and cared for him, even when you first met.

You still remember the day you met him. Clear as day.

It was such a warm and beautiful day, like a year and a half ago. The sun was beaming down on you as you were reading a book that you found on one of your trips outside Jackson — on your front porch of your house. The blowing mid-summer wind was hitting your face, cooling, as if to apologise for the almost unbearable heat that Jackson was currently subjected to. The soft breeze was caressing your skin and hair making the heat a lot more bearable as you enjoyed the day.

You were so immersed in your book that you didn’t hear the people approaching you until there was a shadow descending over the pages of your book. Someone was standing in front of you, their body blocking the sun.

“Yes?” You said with a smile without looking up from your book.

“I would like to introduce you to some people.”

The voice belonged to Tommy. Tommy Miller.

Your eyes widened at that, and you looked up from your book and saw that there were two other people behind Tommy looking down at you.

“I’m sorry,” you said before you cleared your throat, giving them a sheepish smile before standing from your lounger, shielding your eyes from the sun to get a better look at the strangers in front of you.

A teenager gave you a polite smile as she introduced herself. As you gave her your name in return you finally noticed the man next to her, gave you a curt nod when you locked eyes with him. He had a broad build, dark eyes and brown peppered hair. You assumed he was around the age of fifty and you couldn’t help but find him incredibly handsome.

“This is Ellie and my brother,” Tommy smiled as he gestured to both people next to him. “They’re your new neighbours.”

You knew Tommy had an older brother but you didn't know what you had been expecting. Maybe someone less handsome. As you continued to take him in you realised you were staring. You felt your body becoming more warm as you felt him stare back at you.

“How’s it going? I’m Y/N.” You gave him a small smile as you stepped forward to extend a hand out to the man.

"Hello," he repeated your name with a deep southern accent, which did nothing to calm your racing heart. You don’t think you’ve ever heard a voice that attractive in your entire life and it made heat flood to your cheeks. His hard expression melted into a more soft one as he took your hand in his. "I’m Joel, how’s your bench going?”

Your eyes widened at his words, “My bench? How did you—”

“We saw you through the living room window earlier this morning or more like Joel did.” Ellie, the teenager said with a huge grin on her face.

“Ellie.” He warned under his breath. His ears turned red and the two of them began to argue in hushed whispers, but your mind was elsewhere as panic began to set in.

Oh my god. He noticed me?

You grew embarrassed as you realised that he saw you struggle to fix that old bench on your porch. You’re painfully aware of how clumsy you are and that you’re not handy at all but you don’t like to ask other people for help. It was not because of your pride or any of that sort, you’d hate to burden someone else with your issues, so you mostly keep trying to fix things yourself.

"Oh yeah..." You said, looking back towards the bench that has been the bane of your existence these past few days. Your words effectively pulled Joel and Ellie out of their current argument. "It's a bit broken and needs some fixing."

Joel just looked at you for a moment before speaking up again. “You know, if you want, I could come check it out?”

You felt your cheeks heat up again at his offer and you glanced over at Tommy. “Uhm…”

“We both used to be contractors back in the day, so if you ever need anything repaired or something built, we are your people. Well… Joel specifically.” Tommy laughed.

“Oh, that’s cool. I think I’m good for now though, I don’t need any help but thanks for offering.” You declined politely with a small smile. You knew you could use their or his help with repairing the bench, but you didn’t want to burden anyone. And the older brother was already making you feel flustered, you didn’t want to make a fool out of yourself when you just met.

“Alright, you know where to find me if you change your mind.” He gave you a small but genuine smile before the three of them walked away from you.

As they walked away, you released a breath you didn't realise you were holding. The hammering of your heart only registering as the distance grew between you. You felt a bit of disappointment once they were gone, a sense of longing setting in your heart as you thought about the tall and older man that you know you’ll grow to care for.

—

“God damn it. Work with me please.” You grumbled as you tried to fix one of the loose wooden planks of the bench. Sweat was dripping down your forehead as you concentrated on your task at hand. You were on the floor, crouched underneath the bench you were so desperately trying to repair. You’ve been trying to put it off for a couple of weeks now but you knew you couldn’t keep doing that. You knew you should ask someone for help but you didn’t want to give up just yet. Curse words wouldn’t stop leaving your mouth as you struggled. “Fuck.”

“I didn’t take you as a girl that could curse like a sailor.” A low and deep but still soft voice resounds behind you.

“Ah shit!” you gasped as you heard the voice behind you. You’d smacked your head on the edge of the bench when you’d startled at the sudden intrusion. You recognised that voice. Joel Miller. The man that’s been consuming your thoughts for weeks now. You hissed as you rubbed at the already sore spot and landed on your butt as you looked up at him.

The bemused expression morphed into one of concern as he crouched down to your level. “Are you okay?” He replaced your hand with his own, making sure there was no visible injury.

His touch made your body turn hot as he continued to study you.

“Yeah I-I’m fine. Although, I do think it will be a nice bump later.” You chuckled. “You shouldn’t sneak up on me like that, it’s not good for my heart.”

“And your head,” he said as a grin replaced the one of concern. You were glad to be sitting because that smile has been making you weak in the knees lately. Ever since you’ve been introduced you’ve been talking and hanging out here and there, finding out that the man can smile sometimes. You’re not entirely sure why he felt so at ease around you but you were truly grateful that he was spending time with you. (It might be for the fact that Ellie grew fond of you and loved to ask you a million questions whenever she was around.) He had the prettiest smile you’d ever seen and it lit up his whole face, you truly wish he would smile more. Subconsciously you started biting your lip as you admired him.

“Are you sure you don’t need any help?” He questioned with a chuckle as he looked at the state of the bench next to you.

Your face grew warm as you moved to focus your gaze on your hands. “I’m fine.” You whisper softly as you continue to look at your hands in your lap.

You heard him sigh before he took your chin gently in his hand to tilt your head back, making you look into his eyes.

“You know it’s okay to ask for help sometimes?” He said as he studied you intently. It was hard to maintain his eye contact, your face heating up more under his intense gaze and because of the close proximity of both of your faces.

His brown eyes stared into yours and you couldn’t help but find them the most beautiful eyes you’ve ever looked at. Your eyes flitted all over his face, not being able to stay in one place. You couldn’t get over how handsome he was. His head tilted to the side and he gave you a questionable look. You felt embarrassed as you realised you hadn’t replied to him yet.

“Sorry,” you bit your lip nervously as warmth spread even more to your cheeks. Your eyes moved away from his face to a spot behind him as you stared into the distance. “I just don’t want to burden you.” Your voice sounded so small and squeaky that you cringed internally. Embarrassed, you quickly drop your gaze to your lap.

“Oh, Darlin’,” he said gently, his expression turning more soft. “Sweetheart, you could never be a burden.”

“I’m sorry,” you bit the inside of your cheek as you tried to keep yourself from getting emotional. “I didn’t mean to… I just— I just always feel like it’s best I do everything myself all the time because I don’t want to annoy anyone with my problems.”

You’ve always been someone to wear your heart on your sleeve. You’re a very sensitive person and very in tune with your emotions most of the time. People saw you as a very caring and helpful person but when it came to your own things you mostly tended to yourself. You’re aware that most people aren’t like you, at least not anymore ever since the outbreak happened, but you didn’t care. There’s strength in sensitivity.

“You could never annoy me,” Joel frowned. “especially not when it comes to you struggling to do something on your own.”

You weren’t used to people caring for you the way you cared for others. So when Joel reassured you or took the time to hang out with you, you couldn’t help but feel appreciated.

His reassuring words gradually eased your anxiety. You let out a long sigh before looking up at him again. “O-okay, I-I think… I might need your help.” You stutter, hoping he didn’t catch it but he smiled at you warmly instead.

Shit, he’s so pretty. Come on, forget it. He could never have feelings for you.

“Good. Because I’d love to help.” He winked at you with a crooked smile.

Warmth flooded your body as you stared at him, you couldn’t help but feel flustered around him. You’re certain that your heart is running two hundred miles per hour, because it felt like it was about to burst out of your chest.

It’s just a silly crush. You told yourself.

—

Turns out, Joel Miller, your hot new neighbour, could be very handy.

He was able to fix the bench you've been fighting with for weeks in less than an hour. You were truly impressed.

As he brought back the supplies he used to repair the bench back inside to your supply closet, you couldn’t help but want him to stay a little longer. Besides, you wanted to thank him for being so helpful. You’re relieved and so grateful that the ‘demon bench’, as you had called it, was now fixed

“Thank you for helping me out, Joel. It means a lot to me.” You said as you smiled up at him as you both walked towards your front door.

“Oh darlin’ it’s no problem. I loved helping you.” He said with a grin. He moved closer, making your breath hitch which made him smile even more. “You can ask me anything. Whenever you need.” He winked and you felt your insides melt at his words and his actions.

“I-I want to be able to thank you. Give something in return for your help.” You smiled shyly at him.

“You don’t have to do anything for me sweet—”

“Please, let me make you dinner. It’s the least I can do after what you did for me.” You cut him off as you looked up at him with wide eyes. “Ellie is welcome too!” You added nervously when he took a bit longer to reply.

He snorts softly at your words before clearing his throat. “Ellie isn't in tonight,” he says as he avoids your gaze for a few seconds “she’s at this girl’s place she hangs out with a lot. So it’s just me.”

“Oh that’s okay! I’m sure she can join us next time.” You flashed him a bright smile. “But, I’d love to make dinner for you tonight… if that’s okay?” You asked with pleading eyes.

He chuckled fondly at your expression as he shook his head with amusement. “Of course. I’d love that.”

You felt like you were going to burst out of excitement. Internally you’re screaming, kicking with your legs like a schoolgirl thinking about her crush. You really loved spending time with the man.

Joel followed you back inside as you quickly disappeared down the hall and into the dining room that’s connected to your kitchen. You saw him admire the walls of your dining room from your peripheral view as you’re rummaging in one of the cupboards of your kitchen for a cutting board. Most of the paintings were either more abstract gradient paintings or heavily inspired by the Impressionism art movement.

“You have lots of paintings. They are very pretty.”

“Thank you. Some of them are made by me or my sister.” You smiled genuinely as you made your way back to him.

“Really?” He asked curiously.

Your smile turned timid as you looked up at him, Joel's inquisitive look making you even more shy.

“Yeah… we both love art. Especially making our own sometimes.” You cleared your throat with another bashful smile, before looking down at your shoes.

“Is your sister…?”

“Is she alive? Yes” you finished his question. “She lives here in Jackson with her boyfriend actually.”

“That’s nice.”

“Yeah. I’m truly grateful to have her in my life.” You told him. “She’s my best friend.”

“That’s beautiful” he nods at you as a small smile graces his features. You can’t help but feel yourself get more warm at his soft expressions. He’s so beautiful. “How did you two find your way to Jackson?”

“It’s a long story. I don’t think I’ve ever told you this but, originally my sister and I weren't from here… the USA I mean.” You told him.

Joel’s eyes widened at your words. You giggled at his expression.

“We are originally from Europe, I was still very young when the outbreak happened. I was around? Seven years old. We were in San Francisco when it happened and my sister and I haven’t really moved from that place for a long time ever since everything went down.” You said as you walked back to the kitchen.

“Christ. That’s very young.” He said, he looked shocked as you told him as much as you wanted him to know.

“Yeah but Emilie was four when it happened.” You said as you bit your lip.

“It must be hard being trapped in a foreign country. Especially when you’re a child.”

“Yeah… My parents eventually died when I turned eighteen. So it was just Emilie and I for a long time. One day a couple of years ago she went outside the San Francisco QZ and I hadn’t heard from her for a long while. I just… I had to look for her, she’s my sister, she means everything to me. I would literally travel through this whole country just to find her. I always felt like I needed to protect her. I’ve always been very overprotective of her, just like I know she is with me.” You chuckled as you shook your head with amusement at your previous words.

“Overprotective huh?” He said as he flashed you a grin as he came to lean against a wall close to you.

“Yeah,” you giggled. “I am the big sister but sometimes it does feel like she’s more overprotective than I am.”

“Your sister seems very nice. I do understand her being overprotective though.” He smiled as he leaned closer to you.

“Oh really?” You bit your lip as you continued to prepare everything for dinner.

“Yeah, I mean you’re a precious little thing so I do understand her overprotectiveness.” He muttered.

Heat rose up in your face at his words. You couldn’t look up at him, feeling too flustered to look him in the eye. Your heart felt like it was about to burst out of your chest as you kept repeating his words in your head. He thought you were precious.

Was that flirting? No. He would never flirt with you.

“Y-you think so?” You question shyly, still not meeting his gaze.

“Uhuhm” He hummed softly, “I don’t only think that, it is so. You’re very precious.”

“O-oh.” You were at loss for words.

Joel chuckled, probably because of your flustered state, before he noticed you struggled with the ingredients. “Let me help you sweetheart.”

“No, it’s okay.” You said. But as most people knew, Joel was a stubborn man.

“Darlin,” he looked at you pointedly, letting you know that you wouldn’t be able to stop him from giving you a hand.

“I’m making dinner for you, to thank you. You shouldn’t be helping me.” You huffed as you crossed your arms in front of your chest. You’re aware you probably look like a child but you can’t help it. Dinner was supposed to be made by you, and only you.

“Oh angel, being in your presence is rewarding enough for me.” He says as he leans closer to your ear.

Butterflies erupted in your stomach at his words. The sound of his deep voice close to your ear, and the feeling of his breath against your skin, made you fight the urge to shiver.

Joel smiled playfully, eyes looked down and locked with yours for a couple of seconds. The close proximity made your skin set on fire. He could lean down a bit more and then his lips would be on yours. You slowly pulled back, clearing your throat while you did.

“A-a-anyways.” You stuttered. You hated stuttering, you never really stuttered but somehow this man could turn you into a flustered, stuttering mess. His smile widened at your state which made you want to run and hide. You decided to change the subject. “I had to go through some states to find her and eventually I found her. Then we travelled together through Wyoming and then some people from Jackson surrounded us and that’s how we got here. That was almost a year ago.”

“So… You are pretty new here?”

“Yep.” You said as you smiled at him.

It was silent for a moment as both of you were preparing everything for dinner. Until your eyes widened at the realisation that you hadn’t offered him anything to drink yet.

“Oh shit, sorry. I can’t believe that I haven’t offered you something to drink yet.” You said as you abandoned your current task, running towards another supply closet, looking for something good for the both of you. “Give me a second.”

You could hear Joel chuckle, knowing he was probably looking at you with an amused expression on his face. You were looking for a specific bottle of red wine, your favourite, the ones you always keep for special occasions. Once you found it you couldn’t help but squeal excitedly. “Aha! Here it is!” You smiled triumphantly as you held it in your hands.

You were grinning widely as you came back into the kitchen. “I’ve got some red wine, I hope that’s okay.” You said as you placed down the bottle on the kitchen counter.

“More than okay.” Joel smiled.

You beamed up at him and opened one of the cabinets, you stood on the tip of your toes as you struggled to reach for some wine glasses.

“Fuck,” you muttered to yourself. “Why did I put those glasses so high and so far in the back?”

“Let me,” he chuckled softly as he stepped behind you, his body pressing softly against yours. Your breath hitched at the action and warmth spread all over your body. You mentally cursed yourself as you felt a heat pool between your legs. Different kinds of scenarios started going through your head as you felt his body pressed against yours. You wished his arms were wrapped around you as he stood behind you. But one of his arms extended over yours as he reached for two glasses easily. “Here they are.” He whispered as he leant down to whisper close to your ear.

You truly felt as if you caught a fever. He’s so close and so big. As his chest brushed against your back you felt as if your brain short circuited for a second. He was so broad and tall while you were so much smaller than him, he could quite literally swallow you whole with his frame.

You felt his body slowly retreat from yours, giving you the possibility to collect your thoughts again.

“Show off,” you grumbled teasingly, warmth still filling your chest and face.

Joel snorted, shaking his head amused. “You’re just tiny.”

You gasped dramatically, turned around and feigned offence at his words. “Am not!”

“Sure you aren’t.” He teased, a grin forming on his face.

You giggled at that, “you’re just awfully tall.”

“Right.” He nodded along to your words, tried to look as serious as he could, he tried to stifle a grin and you could see right through him.

“I am right.” You pouted.

“So am I.” He retorted playfully, a loud laugh left his lips as you continued to pout, before he took a step closer to you.

Your cheeks warmed, but you tried to hide your embarrassment by crossing your arms and sticking your chin up in the air. Huffing you turned around, “get back to work Mr. Miller.”

“Yes ma’am” he said in mock seriousness as he went back to making dinner with you.

“You’re so silly,” you giggled as you teasingly bumped your shoulder against his arm. You went to open the bottle of wine before pouring some of the liquid in both glasses. Once the glasses were filled you held a glass out to him.

“Only with you darlin’,” he gave you a wink before he took the glass from your hand. Flushed, you tried to ignore the way your heart skipped in your chest when his fingers brushed against yours.

This man is going to be the death of me.

—

Dinner was very nice. There was lots of banter, lots of words exchanged from Joel that felt awfully like flirting but still you tried to push those thoughts away. He wouldn’t flirt with you. You’re pretty certain of it. The tension sometimes was killing you though. You think it was sexual tension but then again that would be impossible because he wasn’t flirting with you.

But you also noticed that the more you hung out with Joel the more relaxed he was around you. You loved that for him. Underneath all that rough exterior he has so much depth to him. He’s very caring, protective, helpful, funny, and so intelligent. He’s so sweet to you too, you didn’t know why. But all you knew is that you care for him so much. You felt comfortable around him too, safe. You couldn’t help but associate him with warmth, safety. Home. He felt like home to you.

Empty plates were still on the table and for a while you were enjoying the comfortable silence between you two. Eventually you broke that silence.

“The wine is so good.” You whispered as you looked at your wine glass then brought your gaze softly to the man sitting across from you. He seemed like he was lost in his thoughts, staring off in the distance as he looked through the window outside towards your garden.

He brought his gaze back to you as he heard your voice, he cocked his head to the side. “Hmmm what did you say sweetheart?”

“It’s good right?” You ask as you motion with your head to the drink in your hand.

“You’re not wrong. It’s very good.” He nods with a soft smile.

“It’s my favourite,” you flashed him a grin before you took a generous sip of your wine, the liquid burning down your throat.

“Oh really?” He questioned with a curious smile.

“Yeah, I keep them for special occasions.” You said as you bit your lip, feeling bashful.

“Is that so?” Joel’s smile turned into a full smirk as he looked straight into your eyes. “I am assuming this is a special occasion then?”

You hummed your agreement, shrugging your shoulders with faux nonchalance as you continued to bite your lip. Warmth was overwhelming you. Not only because of the alcohol you consumed but that man always made you heat up.

“I’ll consider that as a compliment.” He said as he leaned back in his chair.

Excitement bubbled inside you. Feeling bold, you winked at him. “As you should.”

He was visibly surprised, Joel didn't expect you to finally flirt back. You giggled at his reaction, pleased to see that you could surprise him.

You stood up from your seat with a smile as you took the empty plates from the table, bringing them to the sink.

As you’re about to turn the faucet on you heard him stand up from his chair. He muttered your name, his voice coming out a lot deeper than usual. Fighting back a shiver you slowly turned around to look at him. Your eyes were wide with curiosity and your heart was pounding so hard you could barely hear over the sound of blood rushing in your ears. He looked at you, a desperate expression on his face.

“Darlin’,” he said, his voice hoarse as his dark eyes continued to hold your gaze. For the first time of the night you couldn’t fight back the shiver from going down your spine. Heat flooded your body, your cheeks burning, the warmest you’ve ever felt them.

Joel must have noticed the way your body was reacting to his voice, as he dragged a low shuddering breath at the sight of you.

“Joel?” Your breath turned heavier as you waited for him to say or do something. Your wide pleading eyes stared into his hungry eyes. He continued to stand there just looking at you, his chest moved quicker as he breathed more heavily. Your heart pounded so fast and hard that you were worried that he could hear it from across the room.

Your eyebrows pulled together as you stared at him, your eyes shining with curiosity. You waited with bated breath for Joel to say what he was meant to tell you. He looked at you desperately before he moved from his spot, striding towards you but before he could reach you, someone barged through the door of your home with a loud bang.

“Hey! I knew I’d find you here.” Ellie yelled without looking at both of you. Once her eyes settled on both Joel and you her mouth fell open. “What’s happening?”

You were breathing heavily as you looked at Joel. Eventually you brought your gaze to the teen. “N-nothing, Ellie bean.” You stuttered out quickly, moving away from the kitchen towards the younger girl. “We just had dinner.”

Her eyes widened, “without me?”

Your face flushed with embarrassment before you turned around to look at Joel. “I thought she was at—”

“I’m assuming you told her I wasn’t home tonight, right?” Ellie cut you off, raising one of her eyebrows as she looked at him.

Wait what? Did he want to be alone with me?

Joel swallowed and then avoided both Ellie and your gazes. “Alright.” She snorted.

“I think it's better if we go home.” Joel finally spoke up, before walking towards Ellie. You feel yourself deflate at his words and you can’t help but feel a bit disappointed.

“O-okay.” You whispered, looking down as you entwined both of your hands nervously.

Ellie looked at you with sympathy before glaring up at Joel. “You’re so stupid.” She grumbled under her breath as she gave him a shove as she made her way to the front door.

“Ellie,” he warned her.

“You are.” She sneered.

Joel sighed deeply as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He dropped his hand before looking at you. “Thank you for dinner,” he said with a small but grateful smile.

“Thank you for fixing my bench on the front porch,” you gave him a faint smile. “I enjoyed spending time with you.” You said as you looked away timidly.

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to thank me.”

You bit your lip as you avoided his gaze. He said your name softly before he held your chin gently with one of his hands, tilting your head towards his face which made your eyes lock with his own.

“I always enjoy spending time with you.” Warmth rose to your face at his words. He gave you a warm smile before releasing your chin.

You walked with him towards your front door, leaning against it as you tried to say your goodbyes to each other.

“I really enjoyed tonight.”

“Me too.” You said as you bit your lip.

“Goodnight darlin’.” He said with a barely noticeable smile before he walked out your door.

Your eyes met Ellie’s waving at you from in front of your porch. You return the action with a small wave.

“Goodnight.” You whispered before you closed the door behind them. You rested your back against the door, exhaling a long breath you realised you didn’t know you were holding in.

—

You were in too deep.

As months went by, you were more and more aware of how strong your feelings were beginning to grow for Joel. So strong that they were starting to terrify you. Not because you didn’t want to have these feelings for him, no that was certainly not it. You just never experienced feelings this strong for someone before.

It wasn’t like you hadn’t dated before. You had been on plenty of dates since you’ve been in Jackson, too many actually, you’ve even been in a semi serious relationship, but unfortunately, nobody had really charmed their way into your heart like they were supposed to.

You’ve never been touched intimately before, never had sex either. You knew how inexperienced you were but so far, you just hadn’t found someone to be worthy of your time.

You’ve never fallen in love with anyone before. And these new feelings were truly scaring you. For so long you were so certain that you’d never fall in love with someone. That falling in love wasn’t meant for you. That those feelings would never exist for you. The apocalypse hadn’t made things easier either so it wasn’t like falling in love was an option for a long time. But now that you’re relatively more safe, it was a possibility.

It was so much easier when it was just a crush, or an infatuation, despite the fact that you knew that crushes usually wouldn’t make your heart swell so big or your lungs feel so tight when you think of them or see them. But now, it’s a lot harder to pretend that it’s not more than that.

You always dreamed of the day you’d finally fall in love but now that those feelings were here they made you feel like you wanted to run and hide.

You’re not sure you’d be ready to confess those feelings to him any time soon. You were quite certain that they would be one sided, so you’d prefer to keep those to yourself. Because why would someone like him ever see you the way you see him, the way you feel for him. You were a lot younger than him, around twenty years or so. You’re twenty seven. So it seemed impossible for you that he could regard you in the same way you did.

So you decided to do just that, keep them a secret. And you were completely fine with that, with your feelings remaining completely unknown to anyone but yourself.

Or so you thought.

—

On a beautiful warm spring day, you decided you were going to indulge in your favourite hobby. Drawing.

You’ve always loved art, specifically, you loved sketching. If it wasn’t for the fact that the world ended, you’d like to think you would’ve studied art or tried to become an artist.

You were pretty good at it actually, not to sound too full of yourself. But with the way things were, your skills weren’t at their full potential. And besides you didn’t like to tell most people, keeping it a secret because you were always too shy or embarrassed to show people your talents. So you sketched as much as you could in your free time.

You loved to draw all sorts of things, nature, still life, animals and sometimes, people. But on top of your innocent drawings you also had a specific secret sketchbook that you only drew in when you were certain you were alone.

This sketchbook was dedicated entirely to indulging in your massive crush on Joel Miller. (Okay, crush is an understatement.) It was usually difficult to draw a specific person when they weren’t standing right in front of you, but you had seen his face so many times that it was nearly photographically imprinted in your mind. You would often summon his face up whenever you were alone. As many times as you could. Most of these were just his face, the sketchbook was definitely filled with several of him smiling. Some were just details of, for example, his hands or his eyes. Or even his nose or lips.

Everything about him made you feel warm inside. You would always be a flustered mess around him and it would even make you heat up when you’d draw him. Sometimes you’d have to take breaks from drawing him because you’d start getting too hot from thinking about him.

You often felt like you were doing something bad or wrong, like you were some sort of stalker when all you did was admire him.

It was a specific drawing you were currently working on, after checking and double-checking that you were truly alone. It was a beautiful day and you had the day off, so you figured what better way to spend it then by sitting on your front porch all day while enjoying the weather and sketching out what you’d seen the man do during your shared patrol the day before.

The drawing was him holding his gun as he concentrated on a target in front of him. You were so focused on sketching him as well as you could, wanting to capture every feature of him in the best way possible. You recalled his intense expression, the way his jaw clenched while he was so focused yesterday. His dark brown eyes and his handsome side profile—

“What are you drawing?”

You practically jumped and yelled as you heard the voice close to you. Hurriedly you tried to close the sketchbook as you addressed the person standing close to you. “Ellie! You scared me. What are you doing here?”

“I’m just done with school and thought I’d drop by. I kinda wanted to spend some time with you.” She smiled at you as she was leaning against the wall. The soft expression slowly turned into a more mischievous smile as she cocked her head to the side to study you. “You okay there, Y/N?”

You swallowed nervously before giving her your best smile. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well… you’re looking pretty nervous or flustered. Embarrassed even.” She said as she smirked deviously.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m perfectly fine.” You said as you tried to keep your composure.

You could never tell Ellie about the fact that you’re drawing Joel. He’s practically her father figure. Besides, you were quite certain it would make the whole situation awkward.

“You sure?” She asked as she leaned closer to you. “Could it have something to do with… what you’re drawing?”

“I— no. I mean no.”

“Hmmm.” Ellie hummed as she looked at you suspiciously.

Before you could react, Ellie snatched the sketchbook out of your hands at lightning speed.

Fuck. fuck. FUCK. Please no.

“Ellie—”

You sprang to your feet and quickly tried to grab the book back from her, but Ellie pulled it just out of reach at the last second with a huge teasing smirk on her face. Your face burned with shame.

“It’s nothing Ellie, please give it back!” You couldn’t hide the terrified desperation in your voice.

“You sure it’s nothing?” She said as she hid the sketchbook behind her back.

“Yes!” Apprehension fills your bones at her actions.

“Ah, then I’m sure you wouldn’t mind letting me take a peek at what’s inside right?” Ellie grinned dangerously as she moved the book in front of her.

“Please give it back.” Tears started to well up in your eyes as you pleaded for her to give it back.

Shit. It’s over.

As she opened the book on a random page, a gasp left her mouth. “Oh my god?!”

“Ellie, I’m—”

“You’re drawing Joel?” She whispered with wide eyes as she flipped through the pages.

You’ve never felt your face warm up this hot in your entire life. “No?” You said nervously but it came out more as a question.

Ellie said your name softly as she looked at you with a huge smile. “You have a crush on Joel?”

“I— I-I’m— uhm I don’t know, I just—” you stuttered as you tried to retrieve the sketchbook. Ellie pulled back which made you want to scream internally.

“It’s okay, I’m not mad.” Her face softened as she saw you look utterly terrified. “If anything, I’m very happy.”

“What?” You asked as you blinked your tears away.

“How could I be mad at you? I’ve always wanted Joel to be happy. He deserves that, even if he often doesn’t think he deserves that himself.” She smiled at you before looking back at some of the drawings inside the book. “They’re very beautiful by the way. I love drawing too.” She stepped closer to you as she went to put the book back in your hands. “Besides,” she shrugged nonchalantly, “he has a crush on you too.”

“Oh.”

Warmth flooded your body as you listened to her. You quickly felt overwhelmed by her words and everything that happened, you needed to sit down to process it better. You went to sit down with the book in your lap, looking down at it as you were at loss for words. It was very difficult for you to wrap your head around what she said. Joel having feelings for you? You couldn’t allow yourself to believe it. As you let her words sink in, she took a place next to you, placing a hand on your arm and giving it a small reassuring squeeze. Ellie gave you enough time to collect your thoughts and you were truly grateful for that.

You heaved out a long sigh. “I don’t have a crush.” You finally spoke up but not meeting her gaze just yet.

“What? But—”

“Saying it’s a crush is an understatement.” Your voice trembled as you finally looked at her. “I’ve never felt like this in my entire life, so it’s hard for me to deal with what I’m feeling.”

“Oh.” She said as her eyes widened. “You’re… In love?”

“I am pretty sure I am, yes.” You nodded with a small smile.

“Okay. Well he has feelings for—”

“Ellie, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have feelings for me.” You interrupted her.

“Oh my god,” she groaned as she hid her face in her hands, mumbling, “you’re both so oblivious.”

“What?”

“You’re both so stupid. So oblivious.” She groaned once again as she threw her hands in the air. “You both think that the feelings are one sided.”

“I don’t know…” you trailed off as you let yourself lean back on the bench. You’re quite certain that you’re the only one being so consumed by these emotions. You’ve pretty much made your mind up about the fact that it’s impossible for him to return any of those feelings that you have for him.

“The atmosphere when I came in the last time both of you had dinner, just the two of you, certainly didn’t look like it was one sided.”

“Barged in.” You corrected her teasingly as you bumped your shoulder into hers.

“Okay, whatever. My point still stands.”

“Ellie, that was months ago…” you sighed deeply and shook your head at her words.

“Stop. Why do you do this?” She asked exasperated.

“Wh—”

“Why do you believe that he wouldn’t have feelings for you too?” Ellie questioned as she leaned closer to you. “Like, you’re so pretty and have such a lovely personality.”

“I-I I don’t know. I just find it hard to believe. Besides,” you shrugged with a frown “I find it very hard to deal with my own emotions because I’ve never been in love before so this is so new to me.”

Her eyes softened as she listened to you. Slowly, she brought her hand to squeeze your arm reassuringly. “I can understand that. But love is a beautiful thing.”

“True…” you whispered.

“I can understand being scared, but Y/N you’re so worthy of love. Just like Joel is. I am convinced both of you are meant for each other.” She said with a hopeful expression.

“Ellie—”

“I’m serious. Just, please think about it for a while. You both deserve more than this secret pining for each other.” She grumbled at the last sentence.

“Okay I will. Can we please talk about something else now?”

“Sure.” She shrugged with a smile.

“Thank you, Ellie bean.” You said gratefully.

It’s quiet between you two, as you two sit in comfortable silence for a while, just enjoying the beautiful weather and each other’s company.

“So… drawing huh?” She grinned.

—

As Ellie and you were talking about your shared love for drawing you heard someone approaching the both of you. Ellie is the first one to look up and she greets the person with a wide smile.

“Hi Emilie!” Ellie beamed as your sister stepped foot on your front porch.

“Oh, here are my favourite girls!” She said with the biggest grin on her face. Emilie brought her hand up to high-five Ellie. “Hey ravioli.” She said as the youngest girl hit her hand.

Ellie scoffed and rolled her eyes dramatically. “Jeez, just because I love ravioli doesn’t mean you have to call me that. Can’t a girl love food in peace.”

Your sister doesn’t reply to the teen and averted her attention to you, greeting you too. Emilie gestures for Ellie to scooch over, before she plops down on the bench between both of you. “So what are you guys talking about?”

“Hey! That bench was recently repaired! There’s no need for you to let yourself fall on the seat like that.” You groan at your sister's silly behaviour.

“Recently? That was months ago.” Ellie counters with a playful smile.

“Ah yes, the bench that the love of your life repaired.” Emilie said with a dreamy expression.

You gasped at her words, feeling your cheeks heat up instantly. You gave her a light shove, “Emilie!”

“What?” Your sister shrugs nonchalantly, “it’s true.”

“Love of your life?” Ellie beams.

You sighed dramatically before leaning against the back of the bench. “Look at what you just did.” You gestured towards Ellie.

“Oh quit the theatrics.” Your sister rolled her eyes teasingly. “Everyone knows you have feelings for Joel except for that man himself.”

Your eyes widened as her words registered in your mind. “Everyone?” You squeaked.

“Yes, just like everyone knows that man is pining over you except for you!” Your sister said exasperated.

You shook your head frantically. “You’re ly—”

“Oh my god, Y/N.” Ellie groaned. “Wake up.”

“Yeah, lovely sister of mine,” Emilie placed a hand on your shoulder, giving you a serious look, “respectfully wake the fuck up.”

“Disrespectfully, Emilie, shut up.” You said to your sister, shrugging her hand off you. You crossed your arms in front of your chest, pouting as you still leaned against the bench.

“Why are you pouting? This is a good thing.” Ellie huffed.

“Yeah, this is a good thing. Why don’t you want to allow good things into your life?” Emilie asked, looking at you seriously.

Silence fell for some moments, before you whispered, “I don’t feel like I deserve it.”

“Yes, you do!” Both Ellie and your sister said simultaneously.

You bit your lip as you looked at them silently. You knew deep down that you deserved to love and be loved in return but it was so hard for you to accept that someone could genuinely have feelings for you. It wouldn’t make any sense, you were always used to people that were attracted to you to expect something from you that you weren’t ready to do or they wouldn’t genuinely care about who you are as a person. You knew Joel was different, he showed you enough through the past year. But somehow your mind tried to tell you otherwise.

“This is driving me insane,” Ellie sighed, shaking her head.

“Ellie,” your sister said pointedly at the younger girl before turning back to look back at you. “Y/N… you are so worthy of love. I know you’ve never experienced this type of emotion or feeling ever before, but you deserve to feel safe with someone and to love someone deeply and for them to love you just as fiercely. I know you keep thinking because of past relationships, friendships or situationships that people aren’t truly interested in you or that people don’t genuinely care for you. But, those people do exist. Ellie cares for you, I do, and I am completely certain that Joel cares for you too. You deserve to feel loved, cared for and to be happy.”

Tears welled up in your eyes at your sister’s words. You felt truly overwhelmed by everything she told you. Deep down you knew she was right, you were trying to believe her words but you knew it might take a bit of time.

“Thank you.” You whispered, tears flowing down your cheeks as you hugged her side. “You don’t know how much that means to me. It might take some time for me to truly believe everything you said but I want to try.”

Both girls went to envelop you in a warm hug, squeezing your body tight. You felt your body relax in their embrace.

“I love you.” Ellie whispered, at her words you hugged her body tighter.

“I love you too, Ellie bean.” You smiled, tears still in your eyes as you leaned your head against the crown of her head.

And for the first time in a long time you felt like your heart could breathe again.

—

A month passed and you still hadn’t confessed your feelings to the man that’s been consuming your very brain for a year. You still hung out whenever you could, but telling Joel how you felt about him still terrified you. But as time passed, you allowed yourself to believe the words your sister and Ellie told you. It was very freeing.

One thing that didn’t change though was your stubbornness. You are certain you will always hate asking people for help. Like for example, the fact that your shower head was acting up so much you couldn’t take proper showers which made you have to use Emilie’s shower at her place sometimes. Until the shower head actually broke.

That’s why a few days later, you were standing in front of Joel’s door, contemplating if you should really ask him for his help. You bit your lip as you thought about it. Sighing, you told yourself that you should just do it. As you were about to knock, the door opened.

Your eyes widened as you came face to face with Joel. Your cheeks heat up as you lock eyes with him. You know you shouldn't be flustered right now because he is the only one who can help you. And he did tell you that you could always come to him if you needed his help. Or for anything really. But somehow, you still couldn’t help but feel shy around him.

“Sweetheart?” Joel looked at you worriedly.

“H-hi?” You smiled sheepishly. “Am I coming at a bad time?”

“No, ‘course not.” He shook his head slightly, a soft smile curled upon his lips. “Everything alright?”

“I am alright, it’s just,” you trailed off as you looked away shyly. “I think I might need your help.”

Joel closed the door behind him as he kept his gaze on you. He motioned for you to show the way. “Let’s go.”

You giggled as you shook your head light heartedly. “You don’t even know what I need your help for.”

“That’s where you're wrong darlin’. A little birdie told me your shower head is broken.” Joel’s mouth twitched in mild amusement as you just gaped at him.

Oh my god… Emilie.

Your face burned once again. You couldn’t believe that your sister would tell the person you’re desperately in love with about this. You felt embarrassed, knowing that he knew about you struggling. As if he could read your thoughts, “I only know since yesterday, but I wanted you to come to me when you were ready.” He said as he looked at you, a gentle smile on his lips.

“O-okay.” You said, groaning internally at your stuttering. “Anyways, yes. I need your help with fixing my shower. I hope that’s okay?” You asked hesitatingly.

“‘Course it is. Show the way, pretty girl.” He winked, beckoning for you to move along.

He thinks I’m pretty?

—

Joel was standing in your shower as he tried to fix the shower head. He smiled as he threw you a thumbs up.

“Ah, here we go. This should work now—” Joel’s smile faltered as water started unexpectedly spraying out of the shower head. Surprised, it slipped out of his hands, dropping to the floor, the spray pointing up at him, which drenched Joel quickly.

Your eyes widened as you took Joel in. His white shirt and jeans are both drenched and sticking to his body. You could see the outline of everything. Your body turned flush with heat as you continued to stare at him. You couldn’t help but find him so hot, with his shirt clinging to his body. He grumbled as he looked down at the state of his clothes. Eventually you moved into action, “O-oh let me get you a towel!” you blurted out. You quickly made your way to one of your closets in your bedroom, rummaging for some spare towels.

“Y/N stop being such a creep.” You grumbled to yourself, embarrassed that you were staring at him so unabashedly. You’re worried that he might think you’re creepy, staring at him like he was the sexiest man you’ve ever seen. Well, actually, he was the sexiest man to you. But you didn’t want him to think of you as some sort of weirdo. That’s the last thing you want, for him to think you’re creepy. As you found the towels you were still in such a deep inner monologue while you walked back into the bathroom.

“I found the towels—” you gasp, accidentally dropping the towels on the floor as you took Joel in.

The man had taken off his shirt, most likely because he didn’t like the feel of the fabric clinging to his body. He took your breath away. As you once again stared at him you couldn’t help but let your wide eyes wander all over his chest. He was broad, he wasn’t really muscular but he had a solid build. He was strong and large, and soft in the right places. There were some scars littered over his skin here and there, as a result of the years of fighting to try and stay alive. Some hair was scattered over his body, your eyes trailing along his happy trail, eventually disappearing underneath his jeans. You felt yourself ache between your legs as your eyes continued to roam over his form, studying him with so much intensity. You were still admiring him when he spoke up.

“I’m not really nice to look at.” He mumbled.

Your heart ached at his self deprecated words. You couldn’t believe what he said. How could he think of himself so lowly? You thought he was the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. “W-what?” You said as you shook your head frantically.

“I’m not—”

“Joel Miller, you better stop bringing yourself down.” You said sternly, surprising both of you. You sighed loudly as he looked at you with wide eyes, “I’m sorry. I just don’t understand the need for you to put yourself down when you’re far from unattractive.”

Silence fell for a couple of moments. Until Joel exhaled shakily. “You-you think I’m attractive?” The man asked, he seemed so doubtful.

“I thought that was pretty obvious…” you trailed off shyly as you looked at the tiled floor between your two feet. “I mean, it’s pretty obvious to everyone else.” You chuckled nervously.

You heard him grunt softly before hearing his wet, heavy steps, as he slowly made his way to you. Joel grasped your chin gently, tilting your face towards him. You felt your cheeks burn, you don’t think you’ll ever get used to his touch. Your eyes lock with his as he looks at you desperately.

“You think I’m attractive?” He repeated his earlier question more pleadingly.

“I don’t only think you’re attractive… you’re so beautiful. So pretty. Handsome…” you trailed off as you duck your head timidly. “Sexy.” You said apprehensively, before looking away from him. “I think you’re the hottest man I’ve ever seen.”

“I think you’re beautiful as well. The prettiest little thing that has ever walked this earth.” He whispers, his voice coming out a lot deeper. “Words can not describe how beautiful you are. Inside-out.”

You felt your breath catch in your chest as you felt your body tremble at his words. You slowly looked up at him, your eyes wide with curiosity. You couldn’t help but like how he was towering over you. He was so broad, so strong. You felt your face burn, biting your lip and feeling incredibly weak as his gaze stayed locked with yours. You felt light headed at the close proximity. You could barely think straight.

He brought his hands down to your waist, holding your body close to his as he smiled warmly down at you. He whispered your name, breath hitching as he looked at you intently. “Sweetheart…”

You breathed his name softly before his lips connected with yours in a gentle kiss. You gasped in surprise at his actions, but you quickly closed your eyes as he deepened the kiss. Joel’s large hands cupped the side of your face in such a tender way it made your insides melt. Never did you think you’d ever be able to feel his lips on yours. And here he was, kissing you. Your arms wrapped around his back, your fingers digging in his back the action making him grunt. His beard was rough against your soft skin, but was so welcomed. You kissed him back just as deeply, hands stroking up and down his back in a soothing manner.

He held you tighter against his body before slowly pulling away, resting his forehead against yours as both of you breathed heavily against each other's lips.

“I hope that was okay.” He said with a gentle smile. Tears welled up in your eyes as you processed what happened, having a hard time to believe that their kiss really happened. Never in your life were you ever able to keep your heavy emotions in control. Certainly not when you were overwhelmed. His forehead furrowed, concern flashing through his eyes. “What’s wrong Darlin’?”

God, why do I have to get so emotional?

“I am so sorry I just. I feel a bit overwhelmed because I always thought you’d never feel anything for me.” You rambled anxiously and your fingers trembled as they swiped under your eyes. “If you have any feelings for me, that is.”

“Really? I thought it was pretty obvious.” He smiled gently, his hands cupping your cheeks. Softly, he brushed your tears away with his thumbs. “Especially after… you know, kissing you.” He said with a teasing lilt in his voice.

“Yeah maybe…” you shrugged with a giggle, “you do have a point.”

“I do, don’t I?” He smirked playfully.

“You’re so silly.” You rolled your eyes lightheartedly.

“Only with you darlin’,” he winked.

You felt the heat rise in your face once more. You don’t think you could ever get used to his teasing or his flirtatious behaviour.

“So corny…” you snorted as you shook your head with amusement, “you’re lucky I love you.”

You quickly covered your mouth at the realisation that those words were said out loud. Your heartbeat was beating loudly in your chest, as your wide eyes met his. You wonder if he could hear your heart practically beat out of your chest.

His breath hitched in his throat, as his eyes bored into yours. “You mean that?”

Heat overwhelmed your body, feeling as if you’re on fire. Your mouth felt extremely dry, still you tried to swallow, nodding slowly anticipating his next reaction. “I do.”

The molten intensity made you unable to look away as both of you just breathed and stared into each other’s eyes. You felt as if time stopped in that moment, your bodies so close, yet they felt so far. As he held your gaze, he moved his body closer to yours again.

“Joel—” you whispered breathlessly.

He cut you off, kissing you by surprise. Capturing all the words you were about to say. Completely shocked, your whole body froze as you felt his lips claim around yours, hands pulled your face towards his as he kept pressing his lips further, almost to the point it hurt.

All your thoughts overwhelmed your brain, disabling any rational understanding of what was going on. Like a magnet, you felt your body move closer to his, moving your hands around his shoulders as you kissed him back just as fiercely.

You nibbled on his bottom lip lightly, eliciting a moan from him. Slowly, he pulled away from your lips, to press kisses to your cheek. His lips slowly travelled all over your face. You whimper as his mouth moved from your jaw to your neck, pressing open mouthed kisses all over your neck, your hands moved towards his hair, tugging lightly at the roots.

“How long have you been feeling like this?” He questioned, his beard scratching your neck as he continued to kiss your neck. Your body trembled against his as he continued to suck, kiss and lick your neck.

“Hmmm?”

Joel groaned and stopped his actions when you didn’t reply to his question, pulling back to look at your face. You feel his stare, waiting for your response. You hadn’t realised your eyes fell closed as you were enjoying his kisses. Unhurriedly, you opened your eyes, looking right into his.

You swallowed dryly at the intensity behind his eyes, your heart beating madly in your chest. A flare of heat rushed to your cheeks as you decided to tell him the truth. How could you not? When he’s looking at you with so much desperation.

“Like… at least a half year ago?” You answered, your hesitant eyes looking into his own.

Joel groaned loudly, enveloping your lips with his once again. He kissed you with so much passion, giving you everything that had to offer. His mouth moves against yours so hungrily. As he continued to give you long and deep kisses, you felt the heat rising within you. The throbbing between your legs felt unbearable as you whimpered desperately against his lips.

“I love you too baby, so fuckin’ much.” He rasped against your lips.

A gasp left your lips at his words and he deepened the kiss even more, as he quickly took the opportunity to slip his tongue past your parted lips and swirling it around yours. You felt as if your whole body was on fire as you continued to kiss each other ferociously, your fingers raking through his peppered hair.

He grunted as he pushed your body against the wall. His arms wrap around your body, holding your body close against his. You whimpered as his lips travelled from your lips to your throat, nipping at the skin which resulted in you squirming in his hold. Your hands busied themselves with exploring his exposed back, caressing his skin.

He moved his mouth towards your ear, “you have no idea how long I’ve been dreaming about holding you.” He murmured. Joel’s lips travelled towards your shoulder while littering your skin with soft kisses. “Kissing you.” His hands wandered unhurriedly against your back, his hands eventually settled on your lower back, just above your ass. “Touching you.”

“Please,” you whined as you tried chasing his lips again, gripping his strong arms with your hands.

“Tell me what you need, baby girl.” He whispered raspily into your ear. A shiver went down your spine at his words. Joel’s voice carried so much emotion. So much desperation and adoration for you. “I love this baby blue dress on you. Although it’s really killing me right now.” He groans against your neck as his hands finally move to your ass over your frilly summer dress, grabbing a handful of your cheeks.

You felt even more wetness pool between your legs as you thought about the fact that you weren’t wearing any lingerie underneath.

You turned into a bigger whimpering mess as he kept littering your neck, shoulders and face with kisses. You felt one of his legs sliding between your legs, pressing his thigh against your exposed core.

“Fuck,” you moaned.

Joel lifted his head and your eyes caught his, his lips finding yours in a rough kiss, not wasting any time as he slipped his tongue past your lips. The man is wrapped around you completely, a hand caressing your back, the other holding your ass. Your body trembled as Joel started rubbing his thigh against your soaked core. You’ve never wanted someone more in your whole life.

“Joel,” you whined desperately.

“Tell me what you want kitten.” He groaned.

A loud whimper escaped your lips at his words. The pet name turned you on extremely. Your hips moved against his thigh, grinding against the clothed material.

“I want you.”

A string of moans slipped past your lips as Joel moved his head up to lick into your mouth.

“Pleaseee.” You whined against his lips as you rubbed your sensitive pussy against his jeans. “I need you.”

“Fuck, you’re so wet.”

“Ah!” You gasped as he picked you up effortlessly. Quickly, you wrapped your legs around his hips. The both of you continued to kiss each other passionately as Joel carried you to your bedroom. Once he reached your bed he softly placed you down the sheets.

You felt the bed dip before he hovered above you. Joel’s dark eyes stare into yours as his hands move underneath the skirt of your dress, his fingers trailing up your thigh. You felt yourself grow nervous at his touch.

“W-wait.” You whispered.

His movements halt immediately at your words. He looked at you worriedly, “you okay, sweetheart?”

You wanted him so badly and you were extremely wet but you would be lying if you weren’t a bit nervous. Everything seemed more real once his touch moved closer to your intimate parts.

You exhaled deeply. “It’s just… don’t get me wrong, I want this. I literally want you so badly, but I’ve never been with someone intimately.” You said nervously as you waited for his reaction.

“Oh baby girl,” he whispered, looking at you tenderly. “Don’t you worry about that. I will take good care of you.” He smiled as he leaned down to rub his nose gently against yours. “But, we don’t need to do anything if you’re not ready.”

“I am ready, I just don’t want to disappoint you.” You nibbled anxiously at your bottom lip.

“Baby, you could never disappoint me with this. You'll always be a good lover to me. You’re literally perfect. I promise.” Joel smiled gently, looking at you with so much adoration before he pressed a kiss to your forehead. You felt your whole body relax once his lips touched your skin. You trusted him, he was your everything.

Your lips moved to his neck before you placed an open mouthed kiss to his skin. “Please Joel, I need you.” You whispered seductively into his ear.

He groaned loudly before engulfing your lips in a heated kiss. You whimpered against his mouth as his hands started slowly caressing both of your thighs. Your head was clouded with so much lust, you felt so much love for him. Your brain turned quite literally into mush as you continued to kiss each other deeply.

You moved your hips desperately as you moaned against his lips, hoping Joel would get the hint.

“Such a needy kitten.” He chuckled against your lips.

“Only for you.” You whispered as you looked up at him pleadingly. “Please, touch me.”

“I am touching you.” He counters playfully.

“Please.” You whined desperately as you wiggled underneath him.

Moments later his lips pressed against yours again. The kiss got more heated the more you kissed each other. Your hands wander to the back of his head and you pull at some strands softly making him moan into your mouth. One of his hands slowly trailed up your thigh once again. Your whimpers came out more frequently the closer his hand moved to where you needed him the most. Once his fingers come in contact with your heat you mewl loudly.

“Fuck,” he moaned against your lips, you’re certain because he felt how soaked you were for him. “You’re so fuckin’ wet baby girl. All for me?”

You were overwhelmed with warmth, it felt like a hot storm — as he spoke those words. You nodded frantically. You were sopping wet, you managed to speak but your voice is strangled and pathetic. “P-please. T-take off your clothes.”

“And leave you in this dress? Out of question.” He chuckled as he moved the hand that was touching your wetness to your thigh.

“Who said I wanted to stay in this dress?” You said as you raised one of your eyebrows at him.

“Baby—”

“Undress me cowboy.” You smiled as you pulled your bottom lip with your teeth seductively.

“God, you’ll be the death of me.” He groaned loudly.

“My name is Y/N but god sounds good too.” You giggled.

Joel shook his head with an amused grin on his face. His fingertips find the hem of your dress and you sit up a bit. You raised your arms quickly to help him get rid of your baby blue dress.

You felt your body tremble in anticipation, as his eyes roamed all over your naked body, his eyes not being able to stick to one place. You felt your heartbeat picking up as his hands reached for your hips, holding them and pressing your body closer to his. His lips moved to ghost over your neck, slowly moving below your ear. “You’re out of this world. So beautiful.” He whispered into your ear.

His lips then crashed against yours as you gasped openly into his mouth, desire growing, and took it upon yourself to guide his hand back down to your heat. His mouth fell from yours to unleash a heavy groan into your neck at the first slip of his fingers between your wet lips.

It's very, fucking wet, more wet than you'd honestly ever been and certainly more wet than he could've imagined in his wildest dreams.

“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful sweet girl,” he muttered again in a very raw tone, his voice strained. His lips trail slowly down to your neck, all the way to your chest. Joel breathed in through his nose, you flush harder at his words and shivered when he exhaled warmly through his mouth and onto your nipple. “The prettiest little thing I’ve ever seen.”

That’s all you’ve been given before he wrapped his lips around one nipple, teeth just skimming your skin as he sucked and licked passionately, as he also pushed one of his fingers inside your pussy.

The whine that came out of you only drove Joel to seek out more of those heavenly sounds.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.” He moaned, as your pussy clenched around his digit. “I need to prepare you as much as I can for my cock.”

Your whines became louder as you felt the pleasure overwhelm you. His fingers are so much bigger than yours, one of his fingers is more pleasurable than any of your fingers.

His tongue began licking, long licks with the flat of his tongue over your hard nipple as his other hand kept pumping his finger in and out of you at a leisurely pace.

You whined as your core started clenching around his finger, begging for more. Instinctively you began moving your hips, grinding against his hand, as he groaned against your skin. His lips left your breast with a wet pop and he looked at you intensely as he continued to fuck you with his finger. You were panting heavily, barely able to think straight as he slowly slipped another finger inside you. He moved his face back to meet yours, engulfing you in a passionate kiss, swallowing all your little mewls.

“Good girl, you’re doing so well for me.” He panted against your lips.

You bucked your hips up towards his hand in response, silently begging for more. He noticed and slipped a third finger in, moving them slowly at first as your tight pussy tried to adjust to the addition. Little whimpers left your lips as he fucks you slowly with his fingers. You felt so full, you can’t help but imagine him fucking you with his cock, you’re quite certain he’s massive. His pace eventually speeds up as you move your hips along with his movements. His lips moved back to kiss you, whining against his mouth. Your hands clutched the bed sheets as you moved along with the pace of his fingers, feeling him curl them and spreading them.

“That feels good doesn't it baby? You like it when I play with your little pussy? You like me fucking you with my fingers?" Joel moaned and his thumb connected with your clit, rubbing it at the same pace as he fucked you with his fingers. You bucked your hips and nodded as you moaned. "Use your words kitten," he taunts.

“Fuck, yes. Yes, please oh my god. Joel, please.” You writhed against the sheets as you whimpered. “Please keep calling me that.” You bit your lip as you squeezed your eyes shut.

“You’re such a good kitty for me,” he said, a smug smirk playing on his face. You were impressed how easy it was for this man above you to turn you on and make a mess of you.

Joel leans his head back down, trapping your lips in yet another heated kiss. You felt your legs spread even more open for him as you felt yourself get close to your first orgasm of the night. His tongue slipped into your mouth after another gasp fell from your lips. You couldn’t help but moan, whine and whimper as he continued to pleasure you. Your hands wandered to the back of his head pulling at hair softly making him moan into your mouth.

“Fuck, I need you so bad.” He groaned as his thumb applied more pressure on your little nub. He curled his fingers forward with every penetration until your thighs shook.

“I need you more.” You whimpered as your body trembled underneath his.

His eyes stared into yours, lust and love written all over them. When he fastened his motions inside you, you moaned again and squeezed your eyes shut. A burning intense feeling, a tight coil in your lower abdomen made your back arch beneath him.

“Open your eyes for me, my baby.”

You opened your eyes slowly, looking straight into his eyes. His intense gaze was what it took for you to come undone. The hot feeling spread all over your body, your body tingled, your hips moving at their own accord against Joel’s hand.

“You’re doing so well for me angel,” He said proudly as his fingers slowed down, slipping out of you to rub your slit softly, still helping you ride out your orgasm.

As you came back to your senses, you felt his fingers slip away from your heat. You felt your pussy clench around nothing every now and then and were dripping down the sheets, which made you whimper helplessly. You needed him so bad. And now. Joel climbed off the bed, making quick work to remove all of his clothing. You were still in a daze, closing your eyes for a minute. Moments later you felt the bed dip.

You felt your legs being spread further apart with his strong hands. A loud broken moan left your lips at the feel of his mouth meeting your soaking wet pussy. He dove between your legs, licking a stripe up through your folds and teasingly dipping his tongue into your entrance before he travelled up to your clit, spreading your lips with his wet muscle and sucking your button into his mouth.

You practically screamed at his actions, arching your back slightly off the bed once again. You felt your body trembling terribly. You needed more. You tried to grind your wetness slowly against his lips as your body continued to shake.

Strong arms were suddenly locked around your thighs, securing your hips with his biceps, holding you still despite your attempts to grind your pussy against his lips.

“You taste so good, baby girl. I could eat this pussy all day.”

You felt heat overwhelm your senses more as you felt Joel chuckle against your heat. His tongue was lapping sloppily at your lower lips. Squeaky, senseless noises came out from your throat. You were squirming, it was so good you could barely even figure out what he was doing with his tongue.

“Fuck, Joel baby, oh my goooood” you cried out loud. You were certain that if people walked outside your house that they would have heard you by now. He sucked lazily at your clit while he moved to slip two fingers into you. Joel eventually sucked harder on your clit, still occasionally swirling his tongue around your little bud while moving his fingers inside you a bit faster. You kept chanting his name between moans as you now hold onto his hair with both of your hands.

“Please, I’m so cloooooose.” You whined.

As Joel sucked your clit harder, you gasped loudly as you felt your whole body trembling even more and then you felt your body tense as you came against his mouth. Your whole mind felt like exploding and all you could see were stars. You felt truly overwhelmed by the amount of pleasure and emotions you were experiencing. Your body continued to tremble as you felt yourself come down from your high.

You felt Joel’s tongue still licking up your pussy as he retreats his fingers from your pulsing hole. His mouth felt heavenly, but you whined at the sensitivity. He moaned as he licked against your tight hole, licking up your release, his tongue prodding your entrance.

“T-too much.” You whimpered at the overstimulation.

Joel ignored your pleads, moaning against your heat as he continued to eat you out. The man you love so much that was between your legs kept sliding his tongue up and down your sensitive slit. Your little mewls and other noises spur him on, to move his lips back up to your clit. He sucked the nub softly between his lips. You were grinding your hips against his face as moans kept spilling off your lips. This time he didn’t hold you back from fucking his face. Eventually he leaned down, slipping his tongue into your entrance, he curled the muscle upward to brush your walls, the sight of your fingers bunching the fabric of the sheets in a tight grip encouraging him to do it again.

You were a mess of his name, you chanted his name over and over again. Your hips moved against his face as you continued to whimper and moan breathlessly underneath him. Writhing below him, you felt him lick up and press against a sensitive spot inside that had you seeing stars, while your hips bucked against his face uncontrollably. Defiance and greed consumes your thoughts, your fingers once again gripped onto his peppered hair rather harshly and hips pushed against his face to shove his tongue deeper into your hole.

“Ahhh Joeeeeel—” you drag out. You were really so close, you just needed one more little push.

“Come for me kitten,” he whispered against you, before plunging his tongue back inside you as his thumb came up to press against your little bundle of nerves. That does it, your dam broke down as you came against his mouth as your whole body wouldn’t stop trembling. You came with a loud whine, your hips stuttering as your vision turned white. You cry out his name, your voice unable to remain steady. Your fingers were tightly woven through Joel’s hair and your hips pushed so far against his face, you almost thought you were suffocating him.

“You’re always doing so good for me baby, I love you so much my sweetheart.” Joel whispered against you. As you slowly came down to reality again and you tried to catch your breath, you heard him praising you softly while he continued to lap at your wetness gently, until you whined because the overstimulation was getting too much for you. You Nudged your leg against his face as you tried to squirm away from him, Joel’s mouth finally detached from your heat.

He quickly licked the wetness off his lips and the places he could reach before he crawled up to you with a smile, to kiss you deeply, cupping your face in his hands. You moaned at the taste of yourself against his tongue, your eyes fluttering against his skin while you kiss, his wet beard against your face, your arms wrapped around him to pull his body closer against yours. You sighed, against his mouth, you felt yourself melt in his embrace already. You can feel his soft mouth smiling against yours, as the kiss gets more heated.

Soon your hands start to grip his body tighter against yours, your legs tangling together. It's like you're both starved, this insatiable hunger for each other.

You couldn’t help but roll your hips against his to feel his cock. It turned slick as you kept grinding yourself against him, and he had no trouble gliding his hips against you and rutting it into your clit.

“Oh, fuck” Joel rasped, and it was because he reached down and grasped himself to line up between your lips and slide. He kept rubbing the head of his cock from your entrance, up to your clit, circling until you squirm underneath him, and back down. He loved the sounds you made as he spread his precum around your slit, where you are still dripping for him.

You gasped openly into his mouth, desire growing quickly. You quickly realised by the way he felt while he rubbed against you that he was huge. You were still so wet, but the thought of him finally entering you with his big cock made you wetter. Joel swallowed your whines with his lips against yours, hips rolling against yours. He kissed you full with fervour, his grip on you intensifying heatedly.

You were trembling against him, filled with anticipation. His broad body covered your body with his. Loving how bigger and taller he was than you. You writhed against him, wishing he was just in you already and filling you up and making you see white.

“Are you ready for me darlin’?” He whispered as he looked deep into your eyes. “Let me know if you want me to stop and I will.” He promised.

You bit your lip and nodded, too shy and excited to talk, as you rubbed your pussy against his dick.

“Fuck,” he grunted, “I need you to use your words kitty.”

“Yes,” you whispered breathlessly.

“I’ll try to go slow at first, okay, sweetheart?” He said before leaning back down to kiss your lips again, he reached down and grasped himself to line up between your lips and slide. He rubbed the tip firmly over your swollen clit then moved down to your wet tight hole and your mind was all over the place.

“P-please J-Joel…” you stuttered as your body trembled even more underneath him.

He rubbed himself up and down your slit for a while longer before one of his hands lean down to spread your outer lips sliding his dick teasingly around your core. You arched your back slightly and whimpered loudly out of frustration.

The moment you want to beg him again he leaned down to line it up with your entrance. Your legs trembled underneath him, a mix of nerves and excitement. Joel slid the tip in so slowly it was agonising. Your lips part with a gasp. He was careful, like he was afraid you might break. You let out a long broken whine as he gradually pushed more of him inside you. You whined at the stretch of him. He was so big. You thought big was an understatement, he’s huge. Your tight pussy clenched around him as it tried to accommodate his massive girth. Joel continued to push more of his cock inside you. He leaned down to kiss your lips gently as he moved more inside, hoping the sweetness of the embrace will soften the sting.

His hips stilled once he heard you gasp loudly. “So full…”

“Do you think you can handle more?” He smiled tenderly as he looked down at you.

“T-t-there’s m-more?” You stammered with wide eyes.

“Yeah,” he said breathlessly.

“Please,” You closed your eyes and whined as you nodded. You gripped the bed sheets between your fingers as you begged him for more.

“Good girl,” he groaned softly. You thought there wasn’t a possibility to get more wet but as he said those words you felt your heat get sopping wet. Your pussy continued to pulse and clench around his cock as he moved deeper inside you.

Once he bottomed out, you felt his tip kiss your cervix. Joel let his body rest against yours as he allowed you to adjust to his size. You felt so full, as if he was made for you, and only you. The feeling of him filling you up so completely had you seeing stars and digging your fingernails into his shoulders.You felt one of his hands finding your hand, lacing them with yours as the other one reached up to your face.

His breathing was heavy as you squeezed his cock repeatedly. Small whimpers left your lips as you squirm underneath him.

You needed more.

You slowly opened your eyes to look up at him with pleading eyes. “Please, Joel.”

“My sweet girl needs me to move?” He asked teasingly, as he cocked his head to the side.

“Yes, please.” You begged as your pussy clenched around his thickness rather hard which made him moan. “I need you to fuck me so bad.”

He licked his lips before he nodded quietly and started moving slow and deep, one hand reached down to play with your clit, while the other held your hand tightly. The sting was hurting for a while, but it easily morphed into a more pleasurable feeling as he moved against you. You’re so overstimulated from all your previous orgasms that the sensation he was giving you is mixed between pain and pleasure.

He grunted as he dropped his head to your ear to kiss and lick at the sensitive skin just below it.

“Such a tight pussy,” he groaned.

The angle was so good, but when his pace picked up he finally leaned down to wrap his arms around you, the action made you gasp and you grab at the sheets around you, to fuck you harder and faster.

“You’re taking me so well, baby. Doing so so, good for me. Y-you’re so perfect.” He whispered as he nuzzled his face against your neck.

You whimpered as his lips moved back up to your lips, enveloping them in a passionate kiss. At a certain point you felt the end of his strokes slide into a pressure point in your core that has you clenching like a vise around his dick. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head from the pleasure he was providing you. A loud noise like nothing you’ve ever made escaped your throat, a strange cry of his name.

“Feeling good sweetheart?” He grunted, a small smirk forming on his lips.

His mouth covered your own instead as he swallowed your mewls, you could feel the tightness return in your belly, the tight coil that pulled tight, tight, tighter. His lips slid away from yours, wet and swollen and his breathing harsh as he tried to suck in air again, and everything was too much. It was just too much for you to handle.

He quickened his pace, his hips snapped up to yours to a fast tempo. “This pussy was made for this cock, isn’t it, baby girl?”

His hands couldn’t get enough of you, sliding around your hips and lower back, wanting to feel all of you, touch you everywhere. You moaned at the feeling of his speed, your fourth? orgasm of the night, coming so close. Your arms wrapped around him and your nails dig in his back making him groan. The feeling of the coil tightening in your belly, tingling down to your legs, ready to snap at any moment.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, cursing under his breath when you purposefully tighten your walls around him. “You look so pretty when you’re stretched around my cock, Christ I bet you’d look so pretty full of my cum too.”

“Please…” you moaned as you thought about him filling you up. “Please Joel, fill this pussy up.”

He groaned as he buried his face into your neck as he fucked into you, making the whole bed rattle at his force.

“You want to cum sweetheart?”

You nodded frantically at his words with your eyes closed as you bit your lip harshly. He brought one of his hands down, rubbing your clit with enough pressure to ensure you’d cum.

“F-fuck fuuuck, Joel-Joel, oh my god. I’m going to—!”

“Cum for me, my pretty angel. Let yourself go. Cum all over me.” He moaned against your ear.

Your whole body trembled as you came with a loud cry, your body squirming underneath his as you held his body closer to yours, your nails digging in his back, scratching it. That time around, the orgasm felt more intense than the others, you were feeling so overwhelmed by the pleasure. Joel groaned in your ear as your walls spasmed and pulsed around his cock, begging him to cum inside, desperate for him to fill you up the way he promised.

“Fuck,“ he moaned, pushing himself up as he thrust deeper into you, the head of his cock hitting your cervix repeatedly. “You want me to fill this pussy up? Until it’s all full and messy?”

You nodded vigorously at his words, whining even more at the sensitivity. Your pussy squeezed around his cock in anticipation. “Please…”

He groaned loudly, as he cummed inside you. The warmth of his seed filled you up and spread within your walls. You whimpered at the feel of his cum dripping out of you.

Once both of you caught your breaths, Joel leaned his forehead against yours before kissing you tenderly.

“Please… stay.” You moaned softly.

“Of course baby,” he whispered before pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“Want you to stay inside.” You whimpered as your pussy clenched around him.

Joel groaned, wrapping his arms around you before rolling both of you onto your sides. “anythin’ for you, baby.”

“I love you Joel.” You nuzzled your head into the crook of his neck, enjoying his strong hold on you.

“I love you too sweetheart. You’re everythin’ to me.”

Both of you continued to caress each other’s bodies, whispering sweet nothings, kissing and holding each other until you both fell into a slumber.

Joel caught your heart, promising to hold onto it forever.

[violent-darkness]

Blindfolded

Din Djarin x f!reader

*To see a World in a Grain of Sand

And a Heaven in a Wild Flower

Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand

And Eternity in an hour

Summary: Just before parting ways for good you and Din finally share a kiss, albeit in a slightly unconventional manner.

Word count: 3k

A/N: This is my first fic ever and I am really nervous about posting it, so please be gentle with me. 🥺 Originally it was supposed to be way shorter than this, but I got carried away. No warnings whatsoever, it's really just a slow burn, soft and fluffy one-shot. I am keeping the possibility of doing a part two. * The beautiful verse in the beginning is not mine of course. It belongs to William Blake.

You’ve been travelling with the Mandalorian for some time now. He kept you safe from all the bounty hunters and he promised to help you find a Jedi master who will teach you to control your abilities. You know it wasn’t an easy decision for him, but from the moment he first saw you using the Force in order to save his life back on the planet Arvala, he knew that you’re important, special. And boy, you’ve been through a lot together. In a way he is more family to you than anyone else. He is the only one who cared about you since you can’t even remember when. And now you are about to say goodbye to him and the two of you will probably never see each other again. This brings a burning sensation to your chest and it makes you feel slightly nauseated.

These thoughts are spiralling through your head as you watch the Mandalorian piloting the Razor Crest to the planet Dagobah where you are supposed to begin your training to become a Jedi.

"It will take us another 12 hours to reach Dagobah. It should be a smooth ride from here. I turned the autopilot on." Your thoughts are suddenly interrupted by him turning to you from the pilot seat.

“So we have 12 hours to drink spotchka then." You make a firm decision to hide the pain that’s building up inside you, as you smirk with a daring gaze towards him, pulling out the bottle you took with you during your last stop.

He hesitates for a few seconds, but you persist. “Come on, Mando, don’t be like this, don’t spoil all the fun. We don’t have much time left together. Let’s make it a memorable experience, shall we?”

“Okay,” you hear his sigh through the modular of the helmet. His voice sounds a bit somber to you. Is he sad that your are leaving too? You convince yourself that it’s all in your head.

He gets up from his spot and sits next to you on the floor of the ship that’s been your home for the past months and you hand him a glass of spotchka as you refill your own. At first you mostly sit silently next to each other only the soothing noise of the engine of the Razor Crest running subtly in the background. You are actually comfortable sipping your drink in silence as you know that Mando is a not a man of many words. His calming presence making you feel safe is more than enough for you.

As time passes you both start to ease into conversation. It’s not so much the spotchka as it is the need to share all the stuff that has been eating you from the inside lately. So you talk and talk and it keeps pouring. It’s mostly about your ability to control the Force. How you don’t know if it’s a curse or a blessing. How it sometimes makes you feel afraid. How lonely you are and how you long for a normal simple life. Mando listens carefully to you.

“You are special. Why are you so desperate to be like everybody else?” He puts a hand on your shoulder sending a small shiver down your spine. You don’t get to see his gentle side often.

“Besides, if you didn’t have your abilities, I wouldn’t have been alive right now,” he adds with a warm note in his voice. “By Creed you are in my care after what happened.”

“No one has ever cared about me. No one. At least not since I was a baby,” you say to him as you take a deep breath and look away, overwhelmed by emotions.

It takes you a few minutes, but you finally build up the courage to look at straight into his helmet.

“Would you miss me?”

“I would.”

“Do you sometimes get lonely underneath all that beskar?”

“I do.”

So it goes. You both stare at each other in silence for what feels like an eternity. No one flinches. You sense the tension in the air building up. You know that something is going on, but you are not entirely sure what yet. Suddenly the whole dynamic of your conversation is changed. Of course deep down you’re fully aware that Mando also has feelings for you, but you are too nervous to admit it even to yourself. The only thing you can admit is that right now you and Mando are sitting really close to each other. You can pick up intuitively that he is unsure what to do next.

A lot is going on inside Mando’s head. He has dreamed on so many nights about touching you, imagined what does your warm skin feels like. But his Creed always stood there as the ever-present obstacle. Besides he is really out of his depth in this domain. And how come someone so special like you want to do anything with someone like him? Does he have the right to?

Finally Mando decides to act despite all his doubts. The urge to feel you is too damn irresistible not to. Very slowly he lifts his right hand and removes his glove. He does the same with the left one. You are absolutely stunned by what is happening. You just stare at him, while a wave of emotions washes over you. You can’t help but notice the slight tremble of Mando’s hand. Right now he seems to be just as emotional, unsure and vulnerable as you. Very cautiously he reaches towards your face and caresses your cheek with the tip of his fingers. He then proceeds to brush over your lips with his thumb. This sends an electric current across your whole body. You shut your eyes momentarily to fully immerse into the warmth of his touch. His palms are big and his skin a bit rough – the hands of a warrior, yet his touch is very delicate. Knowing full well how strict Mandalorian Creed is, you can’t help but wonder how long, if ever, since he has physically touched another human being and how emotional this might make him feel.

Mando continues to explore you beneath his fingertips by cupping your face. You stare at each other frozen in this moment. Everything else has ceased to exist. It’s only you and him now – two grains of sand floating together through the eternity of space. Maybe you’ll find eternity in the tenderness of his touch or the depth of his eyes. You gaze at his helmet wondering who really is the man underneath it, how does he look like, what picture does the touch of your skin paint on his face.

You may not be able to see him, but you are well aware that for him all of this means a great deal. He strips his soul bare and gives it to you and you only.

At some point Mando decides to remove his hands from your face. The absence of his warm touch immediately sends a cold shiver through your body.

You notice that he hesitates about his next move, eventually putting his hands on his helmet. At first you are not sure what exactly is going on. Your mind has stopped functioning properly. But suddenly it dawns on you and all you can do about it is stare at him in awe, completely numb. After a slight pause Mando starts to lift his helmet.

“Don’t!,” your sharp voice startles him. Your fingers move quickly to catch his and stop him from removing it.

“Don’t do it, Mando. I don’t want you... to break your Creed because of me. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself after that. It’s not...It’s not worth it,” you tell him with a voice filled with regret and reconciliation. He is not ready yet and you know this. You don’t want to ask of him more than he can give you.

“Forgive me,” he sighs deeply while gently squeezing your hands. His voice is heavy from the inner struggle that torments him. Even though he wants this so much, he wants you more than anything, he doesn’t have the strength to break his Creed.

He has fought these feelings for the past months while you were traveling with him on the Razor Crest. At first he tried to fight them, then to hide from them, but eventually he just let himself drown in the ocean of your eyes, your soft smile, your sweet smell with just a hint of something intriguingly spicy and your engulfing warm presence. You became his wild flower, his little peace of heaven. And yes your abilities to manipulate the Force made you special but it’s not why he fell for you. He saw your bravery – you saved his life by risking yours without blinking an eye. You had suffered so much and yet you possessed the kindest heart. You acted all tough from the outside but on the inside you were just a lonely and confused kid looking for her place in the universe – like him. And what’s more – you saw him for what he truly is. Maybe this was your true special skill – you managed to peek beyond all the beskar and acknowledge him. To the world he was simply a Mandalorian, a bounty hunter, a killing machine, but to you he was a human being. And he felt like it with you around. The way you asked him your ridiculous questions all the time, or how you served him tea in the morning with that bright smile of yours or even your terrible stubbornness and constant attempts to provoke him into arguing, it all awoke human emotions in him that he thought were long gone by now. He didn’t really know what to do with these feelings – what is to be done really. He decided to just carry them into his heart and not do anything about it. It already provided him with more comfort than he had ever hoped for.

Until this night when he had to confront the harsh reality that very soon you’ll be parting ways for quite possibly forever. This made him lose his balance.

And now the beskar stands as the constantly present obstacle dividing him from you. Mando sees the disappointment in your eyes and the idea that he’d let you down tears him up.

But suddenly your face lights up. “I may have an idea. Hold on. Don’t move,” you hastily stand up and rush towards the lower deck of the ship.

After a few minutes you come back with a black ribbon you normally use to tie your hair.

“I don’t understand,” Mando says with a confused voice.

“You can tie my eyes with it, so that you’ll be able to remove your helmet without me seeing you,” you explain.

He doesn’t like that initially. The idea that you have to make some sort of compromise for him and for his Creed bothers him. He longs to see the reflection of his face in your eyes.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure,” you answer with a firm nod.

“Okay.”

“Okay.” You hand him the ribbon. He ties it over your eyes gently, but firmly.

You turn around to face him, but it doesn’t matter now – it’s all pitch black. You do however sense him close to you, the coldness of his beskar armor engulfing you. After that nobody says or does anything for what feels like an eternity. Your nerves start to play tricks on you and you begin to wonder if this was all a mistake. Maybe Mando changed his mind. Maybe he thinks you are not worth it. After all why should you be the only exception in his life bound by oath and service.

But all this quickly goes away when you hear a distinctive hissing sound and realize that he is slowly taking off his helmet. Your heart rate immediately picks up. His warm breath is brushing against your cheek. The whole idea that he is sitting right next to you without his helmet gives you butterflies in your belly. You lift your hand in his direction.

“May I,” you ask with barely a whisper.

“Yes.”

You hear his voice without the modulator for the first time. His real voice. It’s shaky and uncertain and filled with emotions. It’s so unlike him that you can’t help but feel privileged to get a glimpse of this part of him – the part that he hides from the world behind the beskar. This moment must mean so much to him – he hasn’t removed his helmet in front of another soul since he took the Creed in his youth.

You reach with your right hand very gently, as if you may break him. Your fingers brush against his cheek with a feather-light touch, causing a quiet gasp from him. You begin to explore his face piece by piece. The first thing you learn is that he has a beard with a few bald patches here and there. You smile softly. You are almost certainly the only person in the universe in possession of this knowledge. Your fingers trail down and stop at his chin. Your left hand sweeps over his forehead feeling a few gentle lines and then continue through his closed eyes. His small moan almost makes you lose yourself in this moment forever. Next is the curve of his nose. It turns out it is rather prominent and sharp and you immediately make a mental note about it. You brush along his lips with your thumb wondering what do they taste like.

“Please,” you mumble.

Mando takes your palm and places a gentle kiss on it. He then cups your face with one hand and slides the other down to your waist. From this alone you start to feel the desire burning up inside you. It’s melting you into the moment. He leans to you resting his forehead against yours. You sense his warm breath against your cheek and your heart is about to burst. You both stay like this for some time, slightly trembling. All of this is so new to Mando. When he took the Creed all those years ago it came with a sacred promise to leave all human emotions aside, including love. He thought he had made peace with the idea of living a loveless life. But then he met you. And even though the prospect of any real relationship was doomed from the start – your paths were destined to diverge sooner or later, he knew he couldn’t just let it go. The love he felt for you started to grow inside him, living a life of its own. It was impossible to quiet it down. And Maker, he tried. Not so much for his own sake, but for yours. You deserve so much more than what he can offer. But eventually the love took him over. He was no longer the master of his own faith. It didn’t matter if you felt the same way or if his love was ever to cross the realm of the physical world, he knew he was bound to you for the rest of his life.

When he is ready Mando tips your chin up and puts his lips over yours in a very light almost non-existent kiss. You are not sure if he is more afraid that he’ll break you or that he’ll break himself. He repeats his soft kisses a few times before locking his lips with yours firmly. His beard is caressing your face as his tongue is starting to explore your mouth with growing confidence. Your heart is pounding in your chest. You feel as the time has stopped and nothing exists beyond this moment, beyond this kiss. Hell, you are not sure if you even exist. Or maybe you are just some weird dream inside Mando’s head? He finishes the kiss with a few more light ones on your lips. His forehead is still pressed against yours, he is not yet ready to give up the contact with your skin.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are,” he asks with what you hope is a light smile and a kiss on your forehead. You smile and skate your fingers across his face once more. You know that this is all you’ll get from him tonight. He wouldn’t go any further. He is still very new the intimacy of being close to another human. And for now this is more than enough. Actually more than you could ever dream of — having him close to you; his hands on you cheeks; your breaths merging together; his lips over yours. He showed you a side of him that he doesn’t show to anyone. Your heart is full of joy and love. Even if it’s just a kiss you feel like this is the most intimate you have ever been with another being. You wouldn’t dare think that you may never see him again after landing on the planet Dagobah.

He gently pulls you towards him as you rest your head on his shoulder, his arms encompassing you and palms running along your back. In his grip you feel at home – something you’ve been deprived of since you’ve been on the run for basically your whole life. You are home whenever he kisses you, whenever he holds you.

“Tell me, Mando, what is your name,” you ask with a soft smile.

“It’s Din. Din Djarin.”

[warpedpuppeteer]

20 Questions for fic writers

Tagged by the ever lovely @scknight05

1-How many works do you have on ao3?

- Only 18 in total. 6 for Buddie.

2-What’s your total ao3 word count?

- 78,631

3-What fandoms do you write for?

Currently just for 911. BTS. I wrote for some anime fandoms back in the days of ffnet.

4-Top 5 fics by kudos?

♡ They're all Buddie fics!

This is Our Happily Ever After

I’ll rearrange the letters of your name to spell love

Lies written in ink (can be facts too)

This is my devotion (you are my prayer)

Traces of your love under my skin

5-Do you respond to comments?

Absolutely. Might take some time but I love getting comments and replying to each one of them 🥺

6-What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

None (yet?). I don't like writing angsty endings. Such a huge sucker for happy endings!

7-What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them? 😂 But I guess, without spoiling the ending, this probably counts as the happiest so far.

I’ll rearrange the letters of your name to spell love

8-Do you get hate on your fics?

Not in this fandom no. (I've only received hate once, ever)

9-Do you write smut?

Yes. I've written drabbles but never a full fic because smut fics aren't my thing. I'm not very good at it because I tend to lose patience very fast 😂.

10-Craziest crossover?

None. I've never written crossovers. Generally not a fan of it. But in the future, who knows?

11-Have you ever had a fic stolen?

None that I'm aware of so far. I'm not known enough for this to happen 😂

12-Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone offered to translate one with credits but I don't think it was ever posted 😂

13-Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not anything published. I'd love to try once but I'm not sure how that'd work.

14-All time favorite ship?

As someone who can never decide on anything this is the worst question you can ask me 😂. I love too many. Buddie is definitely one of the top ones along with Madney, Henren and Bathena. Others include Merthur, Cherik, Kagakuro, Makoharu, Root/Shaw, Morgwen, Stony, WinterFalcon, McDanno, SNS, WeiLan, Edwin, Stormpilot, TouYuu (my babies), KuroFei.

15-What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

So far none.

16-What are your writing strengths?

Writing fluff probably; I've been told I write a lot of feels inducing fluff? 😂. I really love writing about gentle small acts of love between characters. Just them taking care of each other. Sappy stuff.

17-What are your writing weaknesses?

Time management and actually getting to the writing part 💀. My writing is very muse based, I can't just sit down and start writing like some people. It's truly a struggle 😭

18-Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Never written any in mine. Read plenty and I'm fine with it. It's only slightly frustrating when the translation is not included because it takes me out of the story when I'm trying to read and translate at the same time.

19-First fandom you wrote in?

Before I even knew what fanfiction was, I had multiple notebooks glued together with the story of an OC in the X-men Evolution universe 😂. The officially published one is either Bleach or Naruto, can't remember.

20-Favorite fic you’ve written?

Listen, I really kind of love all of them. Not because they're good or whatever but because I wrote them you know. Like, I really created something. Every fic good or bad has a little piece of my soul in it so I just love all of them 🥺

And which one I like best differs from moment to moment. Currently it's probably Lies written in ink (can be facts too) because it was a bit of a different writing style for me.

Tagging: @lemotmo @eddiediazismyhusband if you both haven't done this yet. And anyone else who wants to join please do and tag me so that I can read it 🫶🏽.

[melis-writes]

hello. I ♥️ your fics and think you’re an extremely talented individual.

since requests for the vincent hanna prompts are open, could you post one where he makes love to his significant other after a rough night?.

Aww, thank you so much kind anon!! 🥺🥰 That means the world to me! ❤ All the Vincent Hanna x reader prompts in the world and open and Vincent definitely deserves some loving after all that he does every single day, unlike everything he got in the film. 😥💓

Vincent takes in a deep breath, pushing away any harbouring thoughts of his night at work and lingering frustration over him as he slowly pushes open the bedroom door.

‘Thank fuck.’ Vincent thinks to himself as he enters the dimly lit bedroom, grateful the door doesn’t squeak for once.

“Hi,” you whisper, laying curled up in bed with the duvet and blankets snuggled up to your chest.

“Hi, baby.” Vincent can’t help but look disappointed as he closes the door behind him. “Sorry sweetheart, I didn’t mean to wake you at this—” Vincent gestures to the alarm clock on the nightstand reading 2:34 AM. “Ungodly late hour.”

“Stop apologizing for that, please.” You let out a soft laugh, beginning to sit up while propping your elbows up on the bed. “I was awake the whole time, couldn’t you guess?”

A smile for the first time in many hours forms over Vincent’s face as he shrugs off his suit jacket, neatly setting it aside. “Think you know my schedule and late hours more than I do now.”

“I’m just patient, what can I say?” You blush, watching as Vincent throws off his tie next, beginning to undress. “How was work?”

“How was work…” Vincent grumbles to himself—his irritation most obvious. “If some people in our department weren’t so incompetent, I wouldn’t have to waste so much of my time fixing their bullshit. There’s peoples lives on the lines, crimes, criminals out there—they don’t make it easy at all for me.”

You pout back at Vincent as the blankets begin to slowly slip off your chest. “That’s a very different response than what I got last night.”

“Last night was my last day of peace this goddamn week.” Vincent turns back to face you, now only in a bare of boxer briefs.

“Hmm?” You smile teasingly at him, purposefully keeping the covers barely over your bare breasts. “About that…”

The sheer frustration and annoyance in Vincent’s eyes recalling how rough his shift went practically fades from his expression instantly, gazing upon you instead.

“Show me what you’re wearing,” Vincent’s tone of voice falls low and husky as he approaches the foot of the bed.

“Come find out yourself.” You smirk back, “you knew I was waiting and that I’ve missed you.”

“Missed me, hmm?” Keeping his voice down to a quiet whisper between the two of you, Vincent doesn’t approach you but rather gets into his side of the bed.

Just as you turn to face Vincent curiously, your cheeks flare up in blush as you feel his large, firm hands clasp over both sides of your hips, pulling you against his body on the bed.

“What are you wearing?” Vincent asks again, this time with a playful grin over his lips as both of your half naked bodies curl up against one another.

“Just about…” you whisper against Vincent’s lips, placing your hands over his to move them down to your pelvis—resting his fingers against your pussy lips. “Nothing.”

Vincent’s muscles tense up with arousal and he can neither ignoring his throbbing erection or the dewiness the tips of his fingers come into contact with over your wet pussy.

The silence between the two of you only interrupted with soft breathing speaks of a mutual passion the two of you share for one another.

Vincent’s lips brush against yours before colliding into a sweet, needy kiss—not one fueled by greed or an insistency through sexual frustration, but gentleness and desire to please and love one another.

Wrinkling the sheets underneath the two of you and snuggled amidst the blankets, Vincent’s chest brushes up against yours—causing your tender nipples to harden with a flare of arousal.

“Ah,” you moan quietly in Vincent’s mouth, letting your hands get lost in his silky dark hair as Vincent deepens the kiss you two share.

Vincent’s hands rub over your supple, soft thighs, roaming upwards before wrapping them around his waist.

As Vincent pulls away to continue letting his hands wander over the side of your thighs and hips, your lips glisten from the wet kiss—feeling Vincent begin to kiss around your breasts.

“Baby,” Vincent  murmurs inbetween your breasts, obsessed with the way you’re eager to give into him as much as Vincent is to please you.

“Please, please…” You groan, unable to ignore the pooling wetness between your legs from Vincent caressing your body.

Vincent steals a full mouthed kiss from your lips, pressing his forehead against yours as he lets his erection spring free from his boxer briefs.

Keeping your legs spread and thighs obediently wrapped around Vincent’s back, you bite down on your lip as the scent of Vincent’s cologne hits you just as he begins to tease by slicking the tip of his cock up and down your wet slit.

“Never got a chance to continue—” Vincent kisses you again, “what we started last night…”

You clutch your hands onto Vincent’s back and gazing at him through dazed, half opened eyes. “That’s right.”

Getting a perfect, upward angle at your pussy, Vincent slowly begins to insert his cock into your tightness while keeping his thumb over your clit to rub in lazy circles.

“O-Oh my God, Vincent…” You whimper, squeezing your eyes shut as you push your hips back against his.

The bedroom feels ten degrees hotter as you and Vincent embrace one another, coaxing in every inch of his thick cock into you gently.

Sparks of pleasure flow through you as your body writhes under Vincent’s, desperate to feel more of him in that heavenly full feeling building up inside of you.

“Yes…” You hear Vincent hiss out, burying every inch of his cock inside of you—careful not to cause you any discomfort or go in too quickly.

You mouth an inaudible “oh my God”, hearing a soft grunt from Vincent who begins to thrust inside of you at a deep pace as slow as he can go.

Sighing in ecstasy, Vincent’s lips continue trailing hot, wet kisses over your neck as your thighs begin to tremble against his waist.

Making love to you, Vincent keeps his kisses soft and touch admiring over every inch of your body rather than any possessiveness—craving you in every way possible.

“Y-yes…” You feel every inch of Vincent’s cock filling you to the brim with each push, adding a erotic pressure to your pelvis as an orgasm begins to steadily build inside of you.

Your pussy throbs against Vincent’s shaft, contracting against his cock which only doubles Vincent’s pleasure as he continues to rock your body against the bed.

“I love you,” Vincent murmurs against your neck, leaving little red love marks as he suckles over your skin but careful not to deepen it or leave a lasting mark.

“O-oh!” Moans spill out of you mouth against your will as you bury your face into Vincent’s shoulder, feeling every tinge of your heavenly orgasm growing.

Your thighs shake like jelly against Vincent’s waist, barely able to keep them wrapped around him as Vincent’s deep thrusting pounds towards your G-spot, beckoning for an orgasm.

Unable to keep quiet from the pleasure racking over him, Vincent lets out groans and moans against your skin, refusing to stop kissing every inch of your body.

“O-ooh, right there baby—yes, yes, right there.” Your breath shakes as you can hear the sounds of Vincent making love to you; skin slapping against skin and your pussy sloshing against his cock.

Vincent’s lips kiss upward to your jawline before finding your mouth again, now purposefully angling his thrusts to only hit at your sweet spot over and over again.

You roll your eyes in pleasure, hungrily kissing Vincent back as you dig your nails into his back.

Vincent lets a free hand trail back down to your thigh, giving it a gentle smack before raising it up to his shoulder blade—providing you the perfect view over his shoulder to see how his cock soaked in your pussy juices slicks in and out of you again and again.

Vincent and you make split eye contact, breathing in-between the kiss as you let an out of breath giggle—purely intoxicated by the way this man makes love to you and knowing you’re in for a long, erotic night.

[girlgenius1111]

Hello! Me again!! Pretending to be reading this on Wattpad 🫣 I COMPLETELY missed the fact that you posted part 4... Whoops...

Ingrid cut her off. “María, darling, I love you, but take a breath.” You watched amused as Mapi literally took a deep breath at Ingrid’s instruction. “Okay, now go pick out a couple new mugs over there and then come back.”  - the gentle parenting 😌

“Good.” Ingrid said. “MARÍA, come here.” 

Mapi returned like a puppy being called back to its owner, with a single mug in her hands. - you need to STOP making me laugh, I know you're lulling me into a false sense of security just to trick me into crying after :(

You’d looked relieved, Ingrid felt relieved, and Mapi was just happy to be there. - Mapi is so Ken coded 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Mapi said casually, knowing exactly who was just a few steps from the family room. Sue her if she wanted to see Ingrid’s reaction to your tattoo. - HA Mapi is just trying to stir things up 🤭

“I’m not crying, I’m not. I’m just- tattoos are bad. Really bad. You shouldn’t have that. Tattoo. Of my number. On your body forever. My baby sister,” She trailed off, biting her lip when it began to tremble. - STOP MAKING ME FEEL THINGS. but this actually made me laugh out loud, "tattoos are bad. really bad." - © Ingrid Engen

Mapi laughed, throwing her hands up in the air. “I’m just kidding, princesa, relax! God you sound like Alexia when I joked that I was going to tattoo Fresa when she was 12.  I thought Ale was going to hit me.”  - FRESA MENTIONNNN ‼️A WIN FOR THE GIRLIES ‼️

“We don’t have sex! We don’t! Abstinence is key!” Ingrid shouted after you, sighing heavily when she heard you laugh from the stairs. She turned to Mapi with a defeated look on her face. - well now I'm curious 👀👀 HAVE they had sex since Sol moved in?? Do they do it while she's asleep?? Do they call Frido to keep Sol occupied and away from the house??? The world needs answers 😤

"Please stop calling. I am focused on Solstråle right now. You’ve really hurt her, and neither of us are ready to talk to you yet. Please respect that." - ohhhh no. I can see where this is going. Poor Soli is about to get a really angry phone call isn't she? 😬

She wasn't sure why, but it suddenly felt like things might be okay from here on out. She would be wrong. - that is FOUL. Jail for girlgenius1111! Jail for girlgenius1111 for ONE THOUSAND YEARS.

“You’re ruining our family.” - that BITCH

When Ingrid opened the door, though, it wasn’t her teammate on the front porch. It was your father. - ummm PLOT TWIST???? Out of all the possibilities of who was at the door, I never thought of him

It was, of course, at this moment that you came down the stairs to fill up your water.- NOOO WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING TGIS TO ME :(((((( Don't you WANT Sol to be happy?!

They were downstairs, talking about how they didn’t want you, after spending so long lying and saying they did. - NO STOP 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

________________________________

I got too into the fic, and forgot to take notes near the end. Take that as a compliment, because it was INCREDIBLE. I'm very glad you finally gave Sol her happy ending 🥺🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

god i live for things like this truly.

ingrid absolutely sees gentle parenting tiktoks and thing… this isn’t a bad idea. for my girlfriend.

heheheheh i like to make everyone giggle and then rip them in half with sadness

fresita mention 😇😇😇

LMAO well she’s been there for 6 months so they def have. they just have to be quiet. but ingrid always acts weird afterwards and sol knows exactly what’s gone on

i don’t want to go to jail 😔😔😔

that BITCH is exactly what i thought to myself AFTER writing that sentence

so glad i executed that plot twist well

i do want sol to be happy she just has to suffer a litttttle more first

getting too into the fic to take notes is the highest compliment that you could give i appreciate you very much nonny ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[cryonme]

ꜱᴡᴇᴇᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢ

➵ JJ Maybank x fem!reader

➵ summary: You get anxiety at night and JJ is unbelievably patient.

➵ word count: 643

➵ tw: anxiety, paranoia, mentions of alcohol & smoking, tears, fatigue. typos and mistakes guaranteed.

➵ a/n: Miz writes something under 1k words?! unheard of. double posting?! un-fucking-heard of. anyway, this is such a self indulgent thing bc the thing that’s happening to the reader in this fic has been happening to me and I haven't been able to find anything similar w JJ on here so I wrote one myself hahaha. just a short little sweet comfort blurb of jj being a really good boyfriend and me wishing I had a JJ so bad🤬🥺 anyway, enjoy.

┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉ 　 ҉     ┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉

“JJ.” You whispered in the darkness, wiping at your tired eyes, which were beginning to tear up from your lack of sleep and fatigue.

“Hmm.” JJ stirred for a moment in his sleep, acknowledging you but not fully.

“JJ, please.” You pleaded, wiping at your heavy eyes once again.

The blond groaned and sat up, scrunching his face in annoyance at whoever could possibly be waking him up from his beloved slumber. His eyes softened when he saw it was you.

And his heart ached when he saw you wiping tears.

“Baby?” He questioned, reaching out his arms for you to crawl into as he leaned against the headboard. “What happened?”

“I’m so tired.” You croaked, curling further into JJ’s arms, wanting so badly to close your eyes and go to sleep but anxiety took over anytime you blinked longer than a second.

JJ frowned and tightened his grip on you. “Is it happening again?”

Yeah, again. The raging anxiety that took over your body every time you closed your eyes to fall asleep. The fear that someone was watching you from a window or the worry that your phone would light up with a text of the news of a lost loved one, nothing was off limits. And it was all terrifying. This started a long time ago, back when you and JJ were just friends, and you confided in him about it over a shared joint by the water. He told you to text him anytime, and that he was serious. But, of course, you never did, until you started dating.

It didn’t happen every night, it was more like phases. Maybe, 3 or 4 nights in a row every month, almost like getting your period. Although, you’d honestly rather have your period twice a month over this.

You only nodded as JJ cooed at your response, bringing his thumb up to wipe a tear from your cheek, planting soft kisses on your face.

“My poor girl.” He frowned again, running his thumb over the bags under your eyes. “I’m right here, okay? Won’t let anything happen to you, baby.” His eyelids were getting heavy, but he wouldn’t dare fall asleep before you did, because you’d just be scared and alone all over again.

“Did you have fun last night?” JJ hummed, subtly rocking you back and forth, trying to lull you to sleep.

You nodded in response, smiling softly thinking about it. It was the pogue’s first time meeting Sarah Cameron, John B’s new beau, and you, her and Kie bonded so much over a bottle of tequila and a couple cheap cigarettes, you decided the three of you should have a sleepover on the patio, which quickly became a bad idea when you were a little bit too aware of the fact that you were sleeping outside.

“Tell me about it.” JJ said.

You began to tell him what the three of you had talked about, and how excited you were to have another girl friend, and how she shares the same love of Harry Styles as you do, and JJ just smiled and nodded along, leaving in his own commentary every now and then. Soon enough your words just turned to gentle hums in response and your body relaxed in his arms, finally falling asleep at 5 AM.

JJ sighed and readjusted so you were laying on your side, your face buried into his neck, and his chin resting on top of your head, his arms not loosening their grip on you as he finally let his eyes shut. He would definitely be catching up on his sleep all day tomorrow, but he didn’t mind. As long as you were comfortably sleeping, that’s all that really mattered.

“Goodnight, sweet thing.” He whispered, his lips ghosting over the top of your head before he finally let sleep overtake him.

+

taglist- not tagging right now since this is just an extremely rushed blurb I wrote in like 20 minutes at midnight lol and im lazy rn im so sorry hahahaha

[sopeverse]

EXPECTING (THE UNEXPECTED) WITH BTS

genre: fluff and pregnancy!au

warnings: pregnancy, mentions of insecurity, bangtan being soft over the thought of starting a family with you so proceed into this disgustingly fluffy trap with caution !

note: okay so me promising to finally post my long awaited yoonkook fic was a fucking lie - so please have my unnecessarily cute indulgence into dad!bangtan. also, this is over 7k words so please with the utmost respect shoot me :)

KIM SEOKJIN

this dork didn’t even notice you were pregnant until three months in

he’d be so oblivious the whole time, not once catching onto the small bump you were slowly but surely forming

he’d just stare at you in disbelief whenever your cravings got the better of you, putting foods together that he deemed D I A B O L I C A L

he’d let you know that

cause as we all know, he’s the king™ of food

he’ll encourage your increasing eating habits though, loving the look of content and your stuffed cheeks that he makes a point to pinch every chance he gets

turns out you were having excessive cravings cause of the MASSIVE child you were currently carrying in your stomach

istg when you finally tell him you’re pregnant the first thing out of his mouth is,

“that explains why you were eating peanut butter and cucumber together!”

and he just has this look on his that says, ‘i’ve finally cracked the code’

and you have to resist the urge to slap him upside the head cause tHAT REALLY WASN’T THE POINT HERE

okay but #1 supportive boyfriend right here

he’ll volunteer to rub lotions on your stomach every night before bed

mostly because they seem to relax you but also because he likes how soft they make his hands

also the type to talk to your baby when you finally fall asleep 🥺

he’ll have his cheeks pressed softly against your bump, gushing over how excited he is to finally be a dad and how much he’s gonna spoil and care for them

and you couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips once you heard his gentle coos cause you really struck lucky with this soft muddle of mush you call a boyfriend

he’s so ott too

like five months until the due date and he’ll already have the spare room done up into the cutest little nursery

and you have to pester him to stop buying pink baby clothes and toys cause he has just simply ruled out the possibility of it being a boy

just hits you with, “c’mon babe, it’s the 21st century, boys can wear pink too.”

and after taking in his pink silk pyjamas and bunny slippers you realise you don’t have the energy to argue with this man

SPOILS YOU TO THE MAX

you think he indulged you in your cravings before? he’s 100x worse now that he know you’re eating for two

it could be two in the morning and he wouldn’t care, slipping on the first pair of shoes he could find and rushing to the nearest store whenever you show the slightest signs of being peckish

also buys the entire store

and stays up ‘helping’ you eat the treats cause he knows how bad you start to feel after giving into your cravings

leaves small post-it notes around you apartment when he’d gone to the studio, reminding you to eat and not stress yourself out

he hates leaving you alone on those days, the thought of something happening to you or the baby is enough to make him feel insanely guilty

trust he’s tried to convince his managers to grant him maternity leave too they weren’t having it

and he’d be (◞‸◟) everyday in practice until the baby is born

he’s so incredibly loving and doting towards you

showers your body in a million and one kisses whenever you feel the slightest bit insecure

and reminds you of how much of an angel you are between every gentle press of his lips

you’ve always been beautiful to him, but seeing your bump grow bigger with each passing day just makes him fall deeper and harder in love with you

which no one thought was humanly possible cauSE THIS MAN WORSHIPS THE GROUND YOU WALK UPON OKAY

just the thought of finally starting a family with you is so surreal and he’ll be in a state of bliss the whole nine months

freaks out when your water finally breaks

he’ll be a mess, phone balancing on his shoulder as he screams at namjoon to tell the boys as he grabs your overnight bags, tripping over every possible obstacle in his path while trying to clm you amidst the chaos

and you’re just 눈_눈 cause you really forgot how dramatic this man is

seems like he’s bringing that trait into fatherhood to hshdjd

you swear he breaks about ten different traffic laws trying to get to the hospital

only calms down once the nurses take over and rush you to the nearest private room

lets you hold his hand in a crushing grip, soothing words being whispered against the side of your head as he encourages you to push harder

he almost wants to beat himself up seeing you in so much pain, but once he hears a shrill cry and your hand relax in his hold he swears his eyes turn into hearts

he’ll try to hide the small tears gathered in his eyes once the nurses take the small child away to clean, pressing kiss after kiss against your lips and reminding you how well you did as you sleepily lean further into his affectionate touches

he’s just so proud of you and won’t shut up about it for hours

and he doesn’t have time to gloat that it’s a girl, cause he knows regardless he’d be in love

there’s no tearing him away, trust me

he feels so complete in that moment, watching the boys and his family coo over the babbling baby as you snuggle closer to him on the small hospital bed

he’s convinced nothing can diminish his happiness

not even taehyung and jungkook trying to teach your daughter curse words five seconds after she’s left your womb

MIN YOONGI

another oblivious cutie in our ranks

he’s so quick to pick up any quirk or change which is why you find it so amusing that he didn’t seem to notice you were pregnant despite the obvious bump you made no effort to hide

he’s always so wrapped up in his work that he literally won’t catch on unless you were to snatch his headphones off and scream it in his ear

which is exactly what you do

the human personification of (°-°) when you show him the pregnancy test

for a good five minutes you’ll think he’s broken and have half a mind to call bighit to repair him but once that gummy smile takes over his face all your worries wash away

HE’S SUCH AN EXCITED BOY PLEASE HUG HIM TO CLAM HIM DOWN

he won’t even try to hide it either, calling everyone in his contacts cause he’s gonna be a dad!!

then cringes once he gets to hoseok as the younger screams about finally being an uncle :’)

you secretly find it cute that they’ve all turned into giddy kids at the thought of a baby in the gang

he’s so insanely attentive towards you

like this man will shower you in love and there’s nothing you can do about it

makes sure to buy you all your favourite treats and plushies for when he’s gone to work for long periods of time

and sends you a message to ‘look after yourself or else i’ll come over there and kick your ass’

threatening but caring 🥰

he always feels so selfish about being stuck at the studio and practice all the time so please comfort him this smol boy

he won’t admit it but he genuinely thinks he’s not gonna be a good dad for the longest time so you better remind him that he will be the B E S T

he’ll eventually start to bring his work home with him and spend more time with you cause if something were to happen to his two favourite people he’ll r i o t

whenever he does show up to practice he’ll be worrying over you constantly if he’s not spamming your phone asking if you’ve eaten and got enough rest then he’s complaining to the boys about how much he misses you

to the point where they’ll literally just force him to leave so that he can finally shUT UP

they’re all secretly super excited though and can’t wait to be uncles

but hoseok has already made it clear that he’ll fight all of them and you if he doesn’t get to be godfather

bath time together has become a tradition in your household

he got sick of your whining and pouting about standing up for too long in the shower and being unable to reach places cause of your growing bump

so this man will spend a full half hour running the most *chefs kiss* bath for you with all your favourite scents and soaps

and lets you rest against his chest as his fingers gently massage your scalp, occasionally placing small kisses against the expanse of your shoulder while muttering sweet words against the heated skin

marry him or i will >:(

THIS MAN WILL SPEAK TO YOUR BUMP AND NOT GIVE A FUCK

he’ll force you to lay against the bed with your tank top raised above your exposed stomach, watching lovingly and playing with his disheveled hair as he softly grumbles against you

he’ll be so love-struck and won’t stop gushing over hoe excited he is to finally meet them you literally have to resist the urge to get your phone out and video the cute interaction

then lowkey threatens it and says if it hurts you he’s gonna fight

with love of course <333

despite being insecure about his future parenting skills he swears to himself and you that he’ll never let his kid feel like he doesn’t support them

he knows what it feels like to lack support from your father so he ensures that he’ll lay the affection on extra thick

i’m not saying he’s gonna be the best dad in the world but that’s exactly what i’m saying

HE’S SO NERVOUS WHEN YOU GO INTO LABOUR HELP HIM

he won’t even have time to register what was happening before he has you, himself and everything you could possible need packed into the car before your water even broke

he’ll be so calm and reassuring on the outside but you could see from the nervous lip biting and the skin of his knuckles turning white from tension as he gripped the steering wheel that he was far form it

he’s so relived once he finally gets you to the hospital and the nurses take over, giving him time to finally breath before calling the rest of the boys

he’s stressing out the whole time - insisting on staying in the waiting room cause he couldn’t bear the sight of you in pain

but once the nurse calls him in for the final push he’s by your side in an instant

his words will get stuck in his throat as you groan for the final time, not once minding the crushing pain of your hand squeeing his own before going slack

he swore time started to slow as the doctor presented your daughter before cleaning her and wrapping her up in a blanket

he’s so careful and hesitant as he takes hold of her, a look of awe in his eyes as the baby squirmed against him

literally the only thing going through his mind is, ‘fuck, i’m actually a dad’

and istg man sheds a tear cause he finally started the family he so desperately wanted with you

swear he passed his :] trait down to her as she babbles up at you both

you both never felt so content, the months of pain and stress coming o an end as you lay your head on his chest - watching as your daughter softly played with his fingers

before hoseoks loud voice broke through the room,

“so i’m still the godfather right?”

JUNG HOSEOK

king of the dumbfounded club

despite all the signs being there you’ll literally have to spell it out for him before he even notices

this man will go about his day as if you weren’t carrying his unnecessarily huge child inside of you

hoseok always expressed to you that he dreamed of starting a family with you one day, but with the surge in popularity with the band and your relationship still being kept from public view you were worried he’d be less than pleased with the timing

trying to keep it a secret proved easy considering your boyfriend had his head in the clouds 99.9% of the time

but it was yoongi who told you to finally man up and tell him before threatening to do it himself

which left you wondering as to how the fUCK HE KNEW? YOU DIDN’T TELL ANYONE?!

he just knows everyones darkest secrets

this boys is so :D when you finally tell him

as soon as the words leave your lips he has you in the tightest embrace known to man and smothers your face in kisses, gushing over how excited he is without letting you go for once second

everyone in a ten mile radius knows you’re pregnant within an hour

and he may have accidentally posted your baby scans to the bts official. instagram oops

sets it as his lockscreen

also has them in his wallet for safe keeping

but also because he just turns to mush every time he looks at the lil bub and thinks about how excited he is

will cling to you 24/7

whenever you’re cooking or preparing a meal in the kitchen he’ll be behind you in a minute, tracing gentle circles on your hips and leaving soft presses of his lips against the side of your hide as you go about your business

will happily brush his teeth while you’re using the toilet

he’ll just use any excuse to be near you

to the point where you’ll have to say,

“hoseok sweetheart, i love you so much but leave me the fuck a l o n e.”

he’s an angel so he won’t take any of your snaps or sarcastic quips seriously, already knowing how much of a toll pregnancy has been having on your mood

so he won’t hesitate to spoil you constantly

whenever you’re sad he’s sad, that’s the vibe in your relationship

he knows you better than anyone else so when he sees that you need your space and be alone for awhile he’s straight out the door and on his way to the dorms

not before showering you in all the kisses and gathering you all the treats and sweets his arms can carry beforehand though

if you even D A R E try to life a finger this man will have a tantrum

he just hates the thought of you straining yourself too hard and hurting yourself or the baby so he’ll offer to do the chores around the house with no hesitation

then collapsing on the bed later that night and snuggles into your side while complaining about how tired he is

and you hate to admit it but you’re lowkey happy cause now he can’t take what you do around the house for granted ✨

you’ll still give him forehead kisses though cause the pout sitting on his lips after he finishes his chores is just too cute to resist

he goes into full a hysteria whenever you accidentally bump into something

he’s on his knees and muttering apologies to your bump before you can even comprehend what is happening

“mummy’s just a dumbass baby, sorry.”

and grrrr you wish you could hit him but he is just too precious

if you thought this man was already soft at the thought of finally starting a family with you just wait until nightfall

his sleepiness gets the better of him and he just turns into a mush of love, facing you on the bed and hand gently caressing your bump

he always gives you a gentle goodnight kiss before going to sleep and has gotten into the routine of giving your bump one too

everyone under the sun could tell he was already in love with this child

also locks himself in the bathroom to secretly phone his mum or sister to give him advice when you get especially pissy

and they literally just sigh and say, ‘women’

he still hasn’t figured out what to do with that information

the type to have a ‘#1 dad’ bumper sticker on the back of his car

even though it’s no where near the due date yet

he’s just too excited 🥺

goes into full panic mode when you finally go into labour

you’ll have to be the one to calm H I M down

he’s screaming into the groupchat before your water has even fully broke

he just really wants everyone to be there when the baby’s born and has already made it clear that he’s gonna end their friendship if they don’t show up in time

you still aren’t sure if he’s joking or not

he’s so helpful during your contractions and will do all the breathing exercises that he got from the baby books with you

will also assign a job to each of the boys

yoongi had to be your on call assistant which he wasn’t to happy about

he’ll act annoyed about the whole thing but his heart warms at the thought of you two dumbasses finally having a baby

when the nurses say it’s time to finally get this sucker out of you hoseok will be by your side in an instant

will mutter encouraging words against the side of your head and not once take his gaze off you

he’s so patient and calm too, seeing how strong you where during the whole thing despite the small tears glossing over your eyes made him so proud

once the baby is born you swear his eyes fucking SPARKLE

and when the nurse has finally cleaned the small boy off and handed him over that man has scooped him up and burst out the door to the others

he’ll have no problem presenting that child like rafiki from the lion king

but after all the excitement is over and he ushers everyone home he turns into that ball of love again, laying beside you on the cramped bed and wrapping you up in his arms - worshiping your face in gentle pecks as you tiredly lean against him - smiling against his lips, the small baby happily asleep in your arms

he swears he’s never felt so complete until that moment

KIM NAMJOON

istg he knows before you do

he won’t even give you the slightest inkling that he knows

he’ll only start dropping hints around three months in - starting to be more careful around you and constantly reminding you to not stress yourself out

his gentle caresses and sweet words were never a rarity throughout your relationship but you noticed his hands softly lingering against your stomach, tracing the flesh despite your bump hardly showing yet

he knew you were holding off telling him in fear the news would interfere with his career so once you finally gathered the courage he’d be all set

you knew he’s be an amazing dad regardless so gathering your confidence you’d walk into the living to announce the news only to close your mouth at the sight presented in front of you

MAN IS BABY PROOFING THE FUCKING FURNITURE

and you’re just the epitome of (´･_･`) cause this mAN KNEW YOU WERE PREGNANT FOR THREE MONTHS AND DIDN’T HAVE THE COMMON DECENCY TO LET YOU KNOW?

you wanna kick him for being such a tease with you but just the sight of him soften the edges of all the sharp corners in the house made you so soft cause you’ve never seen someone so excited and ready for something in your life

king of showering you in love

whenever you get down about your appearance and start complaining about the extra flesh around your thighs of the stretch marks decorating your skin he is by your side and worshiping your body before you can even finish your thoughts

he thinks you look so sexy and beautiful carrying his child and sometimes finds it hard to keep his hands away from you

seeing your stomach grow bigger with each passing day triggers something primal inside of him and he becomes much more protective over you

he instantly knows when insecurity washes over you and watches sourly as you stand in front of the mirror for hours on end - loathing every part of your body

he’ll sneak up behind you and admire you through your reflection, forcing your eyes to follow the light tracing of his hands as they ghost over your skin

muttering softly about how angelic and ethereal you look while pregnant

he literally won’t let you leave the mirror until his words are implanted in your mind, cause the mere thought of you thinking you weren’t worth it or pretty enough just because the months of pregnancy has taken a toll on your body makes his heart hurt

he genuinely thinks you’re so prefect and will be sure to remind you every possible chance he gets

just marry him already please 😓

HE LOOKS LIKE A DAD BEFORE HE EVEN ACTUALLY IS ONE PLEASE

swears he’s the cool dad but you know deep down he’s the dorky, embarrassing one that trips in front of his child's friends and tells them awkward stories to make them uncomfortable

also the hot dad but we been knew

and he can’t help but laugh when you threaten to beat up any of your child's friends in future if they so much as look at him

also the type to cook you dinner every night just to take the stress off

when the baby kicked for the first time he freaked out

genuinely thought he did something wrong to make them react like that would get so in his head about being a dad

and you have to shut up his rambling worries with a deep kiss cause god you love this man but he overthinks every possible thing

another sweetheart that feels so guilty about working all the time

his mind doesn’t rest for one second when he’s at practice, tripping over his steps and stumbling more than usual cause he just can’t stop stressing out about you and the baby

sends you cute little messages of encouragement throughout the day

you’re always knocked out on the sofa by the time he gets home and he swears the guilt eats him alive

he’ll scoop you up and tuck you away into bed - using the opportunity to softly caress and talk to your bump

he doesn’t even know if the baby can hear his overexcited words or not but he likes to think it does

kissing your head gently and whispers a soft ‘i love you’ against your skin before doing the same to your stomach

he gets a call one day while he’s at the studio that you’ve went into labour and this man goes into full windows shutdown mode

speeds through that building and into his car like lightening cause he’d rather die than miss any second of the birth

once he gets to the hospital he practically forces the nurse to escort him to your room and his panicked exterior and wide eyes is enough for her to comply without question

once he gets through that door and sees your worried expression and glassy eyes - worried he wouldn’t get there on time - relax, he feels so ashamed

covers your face in a million and one kisses as an apology and is immediately in dad mode

he literally turns into your support pillar and will let you squeeze his hand when the pain becomes too much, not once minding the crushing pain you inflicted on his fingers

encouraging words and soft kisses galore

you’ve never seen a grown man want to cry so much once that baby is born

like you’ll have to comfort him once the nurse passes you the tiny bundle of joy, already knocked out in your arms and looking like the perfect little mix of you and joon

the next few hours will just go by in a blur for the both of you - both your families and the boys wanting to coo over the little girl

but once everything is over and the room is settled with just your small family, he can’t help but admire you lovingly cradling the baby, tutting lowly as you tried to breastfeed her

and he’s just so completely 🥺 cause those nine months of constant stress and worrying were 100% worth it

PARK JIMIN

he caught on the moment he noticed your morning sickness

he’ll just stand in the doorway of the bathroom like a lost child, wanting to help but not knowing how so he’s just so 🥺 watching you throw your guts up

let’s you sit on his lap and cleans you up afterwards, soothing stroking your hair as you bury your head into his neck - neither of you caring about the coldness of the tiles beneath you

he’ll let you cry against him for the rest of the night

and won’t regret it when he’s yawning his way through rehearsal the next day with namjoon nagging his ear off  

under all his concerns and worries this man is so fucking E C S T A T I C

you both had been planning to have a baby eventually so the fact that it was actually happening (albeit unexpectedly) sends him to cloud nine

he wouldn’t feel the need to have a big announcement or reveal either - both of you wanting to keep it your little secret until the time was right

and apparently the right time was him accidentally posting the baby scans to twitter while trying to send them to his mum

twitter crashed that day

when he sees how worried you become about the effect the pregnancy will have on his career and such, he swore his heart broke

he wouldn’t waste a second before snuggling you against his chest, kissing your worries away and reminding you that neither you or the baby could ever be a burden to him

and after he’s done wiping your tears away and comforting you, he’ll literally just get up and say

“okay, let’s go get the crybaby some mcdonalds.”

and you don’t even have the energy to argue with him cause f o o d

istg he has baby names picked out before you even know the gender

he’s in a constant state of bliss every time he sees your bump become bigger

he’s so in awe of it

like the fact that your future child is just lazying away in your stomach, being all beautiful and the perfect mix of you both  

blows his mind everytime

everytime you both go out shopping with each other he’ll mange to sneak every baby related thing into your basket without you noticing

and just :) innocently once you get to the checkout and your bill racks up with bibs, bottles and tiny shoes

he fully knows that they’ll grow out of them in 0.2 seconds A N D the fact that they don’t need them at all cause what newborn is flexing their designer drip

he just can’t help himself sometimes

please stop this man cause he goes wild and ends up buying more clothes for the baby and they’re not even born yet

he won’t get a proper night sleep if he doesn’t wish your bump goodnight and press a soft kiss against it, before paying your lips the same treatment

and you think it’s the most precious sight

he loves going to baby scans with you

he’ll cancel whatever plans wedged into his schedule that day just to go with you

and if he finds out you went on your own he’ll try and divorce you

even though you’re not married

you’ve never seen a man so at loss with words until he sees the outline of your baby appear on the small monitor

and he’ll just touch the screen and be like

“that’s really my baby?”

and you have to stop yourself from joking, ‘actually no it’s jungkooks’

cause you already know he’ll give you the silent treatment for about week for saying that

everytime you talk to this man his mind will always wander back to the pregnancy

like you could ring him up just to see what he wants for dinner later and he’ll bombarded you with a million and one questions on how the baby was doing

his main concern is missing the first kick

and when it finally does happen, you just silently take his hand and place it on your swollen stomach, feeling the small jolts of the baby

and he’s so 😔 cause the baby is saying hello!!

he’s the most supportive and calm of them all when your water breaks

he’ll have you in the hospital before your mind can even wrap round the situation, reassuring you the entire drive there

but he won’t hesitate to THREATEN every last doctor there if they dare hurt you or make you uncomfortable in any way

cue to the entire building just sweatdropping™️ cause this smol man can be scary when he wants to be

won’t leave your side no matter how long your labour takes

constantly tells you to take deep breaths and will lets you squeeze onto his hand, thumb rubbing over the flesh of your palm to help soothe the pain

despite never shutting tf up during your pregnancy he’s at a loss for words once he actually lays eyes on his new baby girl

everything around him will disappear for a second and all he can focus on is the sight of you cooing down gently at the small child, letting her take hold of your finger

and he can’t help but admire your beauty in that moment, the glow of afterbirth completely taking over your spent figure

he swears it’s the most beautiful sight ever

and can’t resist the urge to take out his phone to snap a quick picture

capturing the moment forever

only for you to throw the baby bottle at him for being such a dumbass and not turning his phone on silent, effectively startling the newborn

he’s new at this parenting stuff, cut him some slack :’)

KIM TAEHYUNG  

another member of the confused squad™️

he doesn’t have the slightest clue about what’s happening around him most of the time and that certainly doesn’t change when you unexpectedly become pregnant

so please help this poor boy out

even when your bump started to become more noticeable and you’ve grown out of some of your jeans, he’ll still be so helpless and lost 😔

you’ve never seen someone so happy when you finally let it slip

that boxy smile you adore so much just tugs at his lips and he doesn’t even give you a chance to get the words fully out before he’s picking you up and bringing you into the most bone crushing hugs ever, twirling you around the spacious apartment in joy

he’s such an excited pup and you swear nothing can wipe that adoring grin off his face

he’s so soft for the reminder off the day, finding it hard to believe that you’re actually carrying your soon-to-be child in your stomach

his hands constantly brush against your belly, sweating every two seconds he can feel the baby kick even though it doesn’t even have legs yet to do that

he’s just can’t contain his excitement, leave him alone :’)

he talks to the baby before you get ready for bed, helping you apply your lotions to the swollen bump while gushing over how much he can’t wait to spoil them

and you just run your fingers through his soft locks, smiling gently down at the overjoyed pile of mush you call a boyfriend  

everyone say it with me - we don’t deserve kim taehyung

he’s also so good at making you feel better about getting too big for some of your clothes, not hesitating to tell you how pretty you look every morning despite the extra weight

he won’t let you for a second T H I N K about talking down on yourself

cause as far as he’s concerned, whether you’re 100 pounds lighter or 200 pounds heavier - you’re still the most beautiful  angel he’s ever laid eyes on

this man can’t keep a secret to save his life so he’ll let it slip you’re pregnant within the first week for sure

and when you sit down to watch the boys’ first live interview since their recent comeback, you were horrified to watch the love of your life blurt out the news while bouncing excitedly on his seat

and the rest of the boys are just starting at him in :o cause bro at leAST TEN MILLION PEOPLE JUST HEARD THAT??

he gets an earful from you later though

and from his mum

and his manager

and the fans

he sits on the sofa unmoving for an hour, a pout sat on his lips as you refused to talk to him

he’ll leave the softest of kisses against your cheek and mouth, muttering how sorry he was for being such an idiot

and you can’t help but grin against him cause he sure was stupid as shit

but he was YOUR idiot

everyone is super happy for you guys though, cause the love behind his eyes everytime he’s caught looking at you is undeniable

and what’s one more person for him to give a piece of his heart to? 🤧

after all the excitement is over and the full severity of the situation dawns on him, he gets so in his head about being a parent

he’ll start worrying about tours and long days at rehearsal, the thought of you raising  the baby alone without his help while he’s stuck at work all day is enough to make him curl into your side at night - burying his face against your neck and letting all his worries out

just soothingly stroke the back of his neck and mutter encouraging words and he’ll be okay eventually

he’s also a major dork and makes a ton of dad jokes before he’s even officially become one

yeontan is his #1 so don’t expect him to put the baby first

literally whines,

“how am i gonna fit another baby in my life when i already have tannie?”

he’s the epitome of puppy dog eyes when you go into labour

he’s so lost and doesn’t know what to do, wanting to help soothe the pains of your contractions but not knowing how

despite naivety regarding the situation he’ll also be super comforting, holding you tightly against his chest and muttering against your forehead as you take deep breaths - ignoring hoseoks’ screams towards yoongi to drive faster

once you finally get to the hospital HE’S the one ordering the doctors around

he just wants to make your labour as comfortable as possible and will literally slid the nurse a $20 note to get you a more private and bigger room

he’s so attentive and sticks by your side through the whole thing - praises and encouragement tumbling from his lips

but he just melts into a puddle of love once he finally lays eyes on your beautiful creation, softly shushing her quiet cries

nothing can take away his happiness in that moment, laying on the cramped bed with you as you cradled the baby to sleep, admiring her soft features

he’s gonna be in a state of bliss for the next few weeks, i’m warning you rn

also floods every social media platform that day with an overload of polaroids of your little family

and everyone is just so :’) cause if anyone deserves to be happy it’s this man

JEON JUNGKOOK

jungkook.exe has stopped working

as soon as he notices you’re pregnant he already knows the other boys are gonna beat him up

they all see you as a little sister and are c o n v i n c e d this man can’t look after himself despite a baby

but just the thought of starting a family with you makes him so giddy and soft, he doesn’t even have time to worry about what the others will do

he’ll pretend he doesn’t know just to troll you

he can’t help but think how adorable you look when you finally do, eyes avoiding his own and fiddling with the sleeves of your his sweater

literally all he says is,

“yeah well you weren’t very fucking subtle.”

and continues scrolling through his phone as if you hadn’t just dropped the the most life changing news on him

and you have to resist the urge to THROTTLE him alive just for being such a little shit

but he’ll make it up to you later, cuddling against you in bed and begging for your kisses - constantly whining against your heated skin that he was just joking

and you just give into his loving pecks of reassurance, smiling cutely against your face as you both bask in the newfound feeling of finally becoming parents

as inexperienced as he is when it comes to babies and pregnancy he makes up for it by being the most caring of boyfriends

HE WILL FUCKING THROW HANDS IF YOU EVER THINK OF PUTTING YOURSELF DOWN

he loves to prove you wrong cause he simply thinks you’re the most ethereal angel to ever walk into his life and still finds it hard to believe that you wanna settle down with his dumb ass

whenever you get particularly insecure about your body and hide away in your shared bedroom he’ll bust that fucking door down, not wasting a second as he’s worshiping your skin and kissing every last stretch mark and imperfection

and he knows how tough pregnancy can be emotionally so when he sees the small tears glossing over your eyes as he smothers you in his love, he’ll softly kiss them away too

whenever your bump starts to become more noticeable he’ll give you his hoodie to help hide it, knowing you weren’t comfortable sharing the pregnancy yet

he also thinks you look majorly cute being swamped in his overly large clothes

and he’ll leave small presses of his lips on your forehead, purposely avoiding your mouth just to be a tease

istg you both had the most perfect announcement planned for everyone, wanting to do it in the comfort of your home with all your loved ones gathered

and this man just goes and reveals it on vlive accidentally ಠ_ಠ

it’s safe to say you both broke the internet that night

he’s already clocked out on all the nappy changing responsibilities before the baby is even born

he’s not about to touch whatever goes on down there - no matter how much you chastise him

makes fun of the way you waddle once you start getting even bigger

to the point where he’ll imitate you and swiftly run away when you catch him cause he knows you aren’t able to catch up with him 😭

also puts things you’re looking for on the highest shelf possible just so he can watch you struggle

fucking divorce this man please cause he’s just gonna spend his time tormenting you

he didn’t have many doubts about being a parent during the pregnancy but once you finally do go into labour this man will be a complete mess

he won’t even be able to enter the hospital room - pacing the waiting area and breathing heavily into a paper bag that taehyung so graciously lent him

and everytime he even thought of stepping foot past the door he’d just shake his head and continue his worrying

before yoongi eventually got sick of his stressed pacing and pushed him into the room, holding the handle forcibly to prevent him from leaving

and you’re sitting there wondering why the f u c k your boyfriend is being forced into the birth with you and pulling on his hair when you’re the one that’s pushing a baby the size of a bowling ball out of your body

he’ll try to be as comforting as he can, hesitant words of support slipping past his lips as he tried to block out your groans of agony

you know that scene in friends when rachel is going into labour and accidentally headbutts ross and he falls to the ground and says ‘you have no idea how much this hurts’ and the whole room just stares at him cause bRO YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS CURRENTLY PUSHING YOUR MASSIVE CHILD OUT OF A TINY HOLE AND YOU’RE COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR HEAD?! yeah that’s jungkook the entire time

everything is such a blur and rush for him, but once he hears that soft cry istg he has the biggest heart eyes you’ve ever seen on someone

starts fussing over you and presses kiss after kiss against your face, not paying any kind to the sweat that gathered

and he won’t stop confessing his love for you

he’s so insanely protective over you both as soon as the nurse hands him the newborn

just feels the immediate need to protect and love and you’ve never seen a more heartwarming sight

shushes the small babe quietly and cuddles him close to his chest, letting you tiredly lean against his shoulder as you both admire the tiny bundle of joy

despite everyone thinking you were too young to have a child, you both knew you’d have it no other way

now he just has to convince you to get matching tattoos of your baby’s initials

if you can finally settle on a name that is

© sopeverse — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

[brewing-radianite]

cw:// crimework, canon typical violence

cypher x nora headcanon/wishful thinking post:

ofc we don't know much abt her so this is heavily head-canon based but I like the idea of them so 🥺 riot please make nora a proper agent someday... also this goes off of one of cypher's voicelines + his dossier implying nora is in fact alive still...

+Nora had her own hands in the crime industry. Maybe as an information broker herself but I like the idea of that being Cypher's expertise and she's a forgery artist or something whose work can pair well with his and they once made a powerful crime team.

+Nora herself teeters between being a very quiet and gentle soul, but also loving her fair share of banter and witty quips. It's part of what made Cypher fall for her in the first place.

+But she can be incredibly scary when angered. That's a must for her line of work; She has to be conniving and smart, but can stand up for herself and make someone disappear if she needs to.

+Though her and Cypher are incredibly close and were together for a long time, the baby wasn't planned. They were elated to discover she was expecting (and really, it was only a matter of time since they can never keep their hands off of each other 😏) but it definitely put a huge wrench in the whole... Crime-work department.

+ She definitely doesn't want a target over her head if she's going to be pregnant and neither of them want to risk anyone harming their baby. That being said, it's a hard industry to escape and a hard line of work to break from, which is partially why Cypher has never left that line of work to begin with. They really weren't in a place to, but they knew with all their hearts they wanted to be parents together.

+Keeping his identity secret became priority. If someone could track him, they could ultimately track down Nora and their child too.

+It's possible she and their baby are staying at one of his many safe houses, somewhere away from where Nora and Cypher originally lived so there is no chance of them being recognized by anyone. Clean slate, new life...

... For everyone but Cypher, who has work to wrap up and was unfortunately rallied for the VALORANT Protocol as well, meaning he was nowhere near being done with his hold on his business. It's been too long since he has seen Nora and their child. Too long since he's seen their smiles for himself, or kissed their cheeks, or held them in his arms.

+If Nora ever DID become an agent, part of that gateway could be needing her expertise and experience, or some unsavory person from their past has found her and their kid, and they can no longer stay where they are.

Either:

-They end up coming to stay with Cypher at Protocol HQ, where again, Nora's experience can still be very helpful. The kid is watched over by whoever isn't on a mission at base and resides there like Lucia does.

Or:

-During this time of being discovered by a past enemy, Nora and their child are attacked, and the child doesn't survive. (Ow, yeah. angst :( ) This would obviously make her reunion with Cypher far less... Wholesome.

but i'd be happy to write fics for either scenario

[geminixevans-stan]

First I just want to say that I think you are an AMAZING writer! I love all of your fics and I know there will never be a time I’m not jumping to read anything you post!🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Secondly thank you for supporting me and commenting and reblogging my work I truly and deeply appreciate it❤️

Now…on to the fun stuff😏

I’m going to choose OVA and your options are:

Train Daddy Curtis🥵

Lawyer Daddy Andy😍

Nomad!Steve Rogers😵‍💫

Congrats on your milestone again my love! 🥰

🥺 Thank you so much! That really means alot because I do the same for you whenever I see you posted a fic. You are so amazing I can't even.

Now.... The thot activities

O - Train Daddy

Listen, If I can give him a thorough wash down and I mean thorough, then he can definitely attack my mouth cause trying to take my other holes is gonna need some gained trust.

V - Lawyer Daddy

Floofy daddy get this hole because I want his babies. Not in weird way but to like watch him be a dad. It just makes my heart happy. But also he knows exactly how to please you in more ways than one.

A - Nomad!Steve

Oh this man... He could wreck every hole again and again. Like this is top tier daddy and I want all of himmm. He may look like he can break you in two but I'm sure he'll be gentle at first and then snatch your soul and leave you dripping after

[happi-tree]

Sixteen

Hello, lovebirds! Here’s a bit of fic that I wrote inspired by @shima-draws‘ BNHA Distortion Link AU from Nexus’ POV! Check out her blog for more info about it. I’ll put the fic under a read more, so continue on if you’re interested! TW for blood and vague, semi-graphic descriptions of corpses.

Midoriya Izuku is 16 years old when his world is ripped out from underneath his feet. 

He awakens to silence - not the peaceful quiet of early mornings that he has become long accustomed to, but to a sheer and utter absence of sound. Not a whisper of birdsong, not a single utterance of cacophony caused by the morning commute traffic in Musutafu. The quiet is eerie, anticipatory, waiting to be shattered, and Izuku gets the distinct feeling that he’s the final character in some horror flick. 

His alarm clock blares “The morning is here!” again in a robotic facsimile of All Might’s voice. Izuku startles, badly, slamming his hand down on the alarm to silence it. A breeze outside grows in intensity, slamming into the walls. The ticking of clocks, the groaning of a house in its death throes, and the rushing of blood in Izuku’s ears are the only sounds now. 

Something is very wrong.

Izuku picks his way across the room to his window, lifting the blinds, and nearly retches at what he sees.

The streets aren’t clogged with cars or buses; the sidewalks are vacant of pedestrians. Instead, the concrete is dyed red with blood, puddles of it seeping into potholes, into gutters. Bodies, for as long as the eye can see, line the walkways and the asphalt at irregular intervals, their eyes unseeing, their mouths open in shock, their forms contorted and still in pools of burgundy-ebony. Newly deceased, the analytic, detached part of Izuku’s brain observes, noting the absence of stench and lack of buzzing flies. 

As much as Izuku desperately wants this to be some horrible nightmare, he knows deep in his bones that this is all too terribly real.

And then he looks up.

Up to the sky, where his fated enemy is silhouetted against the soot-stained crimson of dawn, wreathed in clouds of smoke like the angel of death incarnate. But Izuku knows that this man is far from angelic - there is no mercy in these deaths, no just judgement present in any fiber in his body as he hovers, gloatingly, backlit by the red-orange sun. 

All for One, in all his age, has never been a creature of compassion.

With the taste of bile and ash in his mouth, Izuku frantically grabs his hoodie from where it lays across the back of his desk chair, shrugging it on. Throwing open his closet door, he pulls on the boots of his Hero costume, barely managing to fumble their laces into a proper knot and swiping his gloves from where they sit draped over his tool belt. 

One for All rockets to the surface of his skin within milliseconds, his racing heartbeat and heightened anxiety calling the Quirk to activation in record time, and Izuku breaks down the front door of his house, sprinting into the streets of the world on its final day with eight souls singing across the lightning in his veins.

It is not enough.

-

Midoriya Izuku is 16 years old when he opens his eyes to the Beyond for the first time. 

The confusion only lasts for a few moments before memories - billions of them, thoughts that are not his, were never meant to be his - shove themselves into his still-growing mind, flooding his neurons until they threaten to combust. All at once, Izuku knows where he is. Izuku knows what happened to his world; rather, the world that was once his.

Now, Izuku knows everything, and it is with absolute, mind-numbing certainty that he knows that his universe is gone.

He is the sole survivor, the lone occupant of this plane of in-betweens, where both nothing and everything is real. He feels at once impossibly heavy and weightless, power sitting leaden in his bloodstream, pulsating in time with his paradoxically-beating heart, countless lives weighted and compressed upon his mind, their taste like copper on his tongue. 

Tears flow freely from his eyes, saline globules suspended in the not-air of the Beyond as he weeps and as he feels. Seven billion lifetimes of emotions flash through his mind’s eye like an old film reel, impossibly fast, impossibly hard to differentiate. Love and heartbreak and joy and sorrow and anger and contentment and longing and desperation and too many other feelings to name overcome him, and Izuku cries out, his strangled voice the only sound amidst the deep shifting colors of the void, utterly human and utterly alone. 

Even heroes need to cry, sometimes, Todoroki’s voice seems to whisper to him, and Izuku’s body wrenches with the force of his sobbing, clinging to himself and wishing beyond anything for the phantom comfort of a friendly hand upon his shoulders. 

How can I ever call myself a Hero when I failed my entire universe?

After a time - perhaps seconds, perhaps centuries - Izuku’s cries pitter out, and he straightens enough that his feet find contact with something solid. Opening his eyes once more, he finds that his tears, spheres of liquified crystal, lay suspended across the not-space, twinkling like so many stars. For all the pain that they had caused him, Izuku finds beauty in their sorrow, trying not to tear up again as he thinks of the shifting constellations of his homeland, their lights forever extinguished. 

The memories threaten to overturn his mind again, but Izuku holds firm, pushes past the grief and the sorrow. He is the sole occupant of the Beyond, the Nexus, a realm that oversees every universe, every timeline. The weight of countless worlds rests on his shoulders now, and Izuku cannot allow himself to crumble beneath it any longer. Infinite power - so much that the feeble, human part of his mind can scarcely begin to comprehend its beginning or its end - resides in his soul, stitched into the fabric of his being. 

<If I could not be the Hero my own world needed,> Izuku speaks into the void, curling his hands into fists, <maybe I can be the Hero that the rest of them deserve.>

So many lives are in need of protection, in need of saving. And now, here I am, with the power to look after every single one of them. What kind of Hero would I be if I didn’t use this power to help them? For the first time in a long time, Izuku laughs - a hollow, broken laugh, but a laugh nonetheless.

<Plus ultra.> Izuku says to the unspeaking, unblinking void. He cracks his knuckles, takes a deep breath, and then gets to work overseeing the multiverse. 

-

Midoriya Izuku is still 16 years old when he feels the first disturbance in the Beyond. 

The new presence feels scarcely like a blip on his radar, as quick and meaningless as the blink of an eye. But after centuries and centuries of absolutely nothing, a spark of excitement - an emotion almost foreign to him, now - makes itself known in the cavity of his chest, bright and white-hot. Alongside it, an equally strange feeling: hope. 

The fabric of the Beyond bends itself around him, malleable and fluid as it bows to his whims and carries him to the source of the disturbance.

Izuku watches as a corner of his world blurs green. A figure, human, falling endlessly, glitching in and out between this plane and the one to which they belong. Reaching out with his mind, Izuku nearly reels back in shock with what he discovers.

Because the figure trapped between realms is him.

Well, one of him, Izuku should say. Across the multiverse are countless Midoriya Izukus. For whatever reason, this one seems to have gotten himself into a bit of trouble.

A constant for all Izukus, getting into trouble, he muses as his other semi-conscious self falls infinitely. 

Probing further, it looks like this particular Izuku is from a world quite similar to his own. Time slows, solid in his grasp, to allow him to decipher the teal of his Hero outfit, bits of blood scattered across his freckles from a previous fight. Clearly, this Izuku had no intention of coming here, and is likely feeling very out of sorts. How he got here in the first place is a wonder, but not for long.

Memories of his double flash through his mind. The patrol assignment. Uraraka, Todoroki, Ojirou, Shigaraki, Kurogiri’s faces come to mind in consecutive flashes, and his knees nearly buckle at the sight of their familiarity. One for All activating in tandem with Kurogiri’s portal, disturbingly reminiscent of the moment that ripped the fabric of his homeland apart.

Ah, there it is.

Izuku’s power comes to grasp the connection tethering his doppelgänger to the Beyond, and he hears a gasp. 

Well, that wouldn’t do. Not that Izuku has ever seen this happen before, but he has the sinking feeling that shoving his other self back into his own universe will not erase the connection entirely. There’s something wild about it, unstable. Dangerous.

Izuku walks closer to his double’s side, time grinding to a halt.

<I’m sorry for this, but you’ll likely see more of me,> he says to himself, taking in the other Izuku’s gaping expression and wide eyes, imprinting the familiar lines of his Hero suit into his vision alongside the spattering of freckles and the smears of dirt. 

<For now, though, I’ll try to get you home. You’re doing so well, you know. I’ve been watching.>

Gently, Izuku presses a fingertip to his doppelgänger’s forehead and watches as he reappears through the tear into his own timeline.

A universe away, provisional Hero Deku returns to his friends with shaking hands, a phantom warmth between his brows, and an odd feeling of recognition in his chest.

-

Nexus is 16 years old when he sees the sky again for the first time in millennia.