#babygurl ur my—the heart

[doriandrifting]

Sometimes it really hits me that we’re being called delusional for thinking Mike’s queer when his entire S4 arc is not being able to tell his girlfriend that he loves her until his gay best friend who’s in love with him begs him to in a life or death situation and he still struggles. Heteronormativity is one hell of a drug 😭

[silence-between-seconds]

OK NOW YOUR TURN

pls pls ramble abt any niche interest you have

HELLO THANK YOU

*invokes inner history nerd* so. listen here colonizer and listen good. i will subject you to my random knowledge cuz due to youtube, undiagnosed neurodivergency and most importantly- bad jokes. i have a vari-tea of niche interests but the first thing that came to my mind was my knowledge of the history of how Indians became one of The Top Consumers of Tea.

how did this wonder-drug make its way into our masala covered hearts? what led to the fact that everyday at 4pm the word at the tip of most indians' tongues is "chai"?this is my thesis as a pro desi tea obsessed freak.

This story, like most in our history, starts with the arrival of the British. i would like to insert this picture i found in a video that i laughed at for a solid five minutes:

anyway

technically tea was invented in china, and for a very long time it was exclusively grown there. it was a very high class commodi-tea. it was considered so precious that in 1662 when king charles the second married the Portuguese princess catherine of braganza: her dowry was a chest of tea and THE ENTIRE ISLAND OF MUMBAI (then, bombay) for an annual lease of 10 pounds. let me make that clearer. THE PLACE WHERE A 1BHK HOUSE IS SO EXPENSIVE MOST PPL CANT AFFORD WAS EQUIVALENT TO THIS:

needless to say the brits was so freaking addicted man. they wanted this. so bad.

By the 18th centuary there was a war between the english and the dutch and the brit resources were down the toilet so they couldnt afford to spend all that silver on the trade of tea leaves with china. and china was uninterested in anything the white boys were offering.

UNTIL they discovered something china wanted.

✨Drugs✨

the white boys wanted that tea. and they would do anything. so they started growing opium in india (by that time they had colonized us bruh. they came into our backyard and were like "bro we're such good friends pretty please let me use ur backyard" "ok what do you want to do w it?" "i wanna grow drugs bro" "....ok" "you'll work for me no bro?" "why would i do that" "bro its ur backyard bro" "what-" *england pulls out slavery* "SHUT UP AND DO IT") (dont come at me lmao this is a very rough simplification of what happened)(imma get blocked for this?)

anyway, brits grew opium and smuggled it to china in return for TEA. FOR TEA. 40.

now after the charter act of 1833 (idk what that is exactly but basically brits lost its trade monopoly with china and so now china said we should see other people and it was an open relationship and britian got very pissed but they signed the act anyway i think)

to deal with this they established the Tea Committee (this isnt the first government board specifically for tea. there were plen-tea of others like the Tea Board Of India) which dealt w the extraction of techniques, tea seads and resources from the chinese. this was highly unsuccessful and china was not impressed. this is an example of british desperation they'll do anything at this point. (took everything in me to not insert pictures of how they treated indian farmers. it was *inhales, lets go of anger for my ancestors treatment* bad)

but in the end this qoute i found (undoubtedly by a white man) "fortune favours the white men" came tru and they got their way.

oh you thought i was done? haha babygurl i am not

in 1843 robert fortune, who was a scottish horticulturist, went on a solo trip to china to study (read as: steal) tea plantations. no actually apparently he did study cuz he published a book(i forgot the name).(yes. HIS NAME WAS ROB. FORTUNE. talk about being born for a job)

lemme insert a quick meme here:

(they actually hired him on the spot and gave the amazed man 500 pounds per annum and sent him off to china)

he was to perform what we call The Great British Tea Heist the brits had found their vigilan-tea

my guy was committed to his role and shaved his head and pretended to be a monk and after 3 months wrote a letter to his company saying "bro i got the goodssss"

lmao no this it what the letter said- "l have much pleasure in informing you," he wrote, "that I have procured a large supply of seeds and young plants which l trust will get safely to India."

NOW they finally had the greens and started planting it in india. over the years indian tea topped the market in britian as the best tea. mostly cuz the white boyz HYPED it up. they even started doing diss tracks for chinese tea. this is something read right out of an advertisment- "indian teas are more wholesome, purer, cheaper and better than chinese teas in every single way". white boyz started saying stuff like they got out of a toxic realtionship with china and a healthy one with india (but they were the toxic ones)

now brits tried to globalize indian tea to get the moneyyy~ from indians.

their first experiment with (another) government body for tea- Indian Tea Association began on the indian railways. these railways were the ancestor of the IRC-tea-C. basically they started making tea on the railway platforms. this started the trend of tea being the signature experience on every indian train journey, from the first class to economy, everyone was having it (cuz trains were introduced and quickly became popular in use). train tea was said to be better than the quality of tea in 5 star hotels. and this converted us from a nation of tea-totalers to teach addcits.

now i just have one thing to say in the end. HOW did the quality decline so badly my desi brothers and sisters? nowadays the tea on trains is basically water but brown. milk is a lie.

anyway. on the end we got it right. we took tea from the chinese and brits and we added milk and we added sugar and we got:

✨chai✨

you have reached the end. congrats.

[lale-txt]

HIYA HOW YA BEEN? BRO ISTG i havent been on tumblr in a hot min but just saw ur kaido x babysitter! reader on my feed… bruv got the mega kaidussy😍😍🥺 i love how u made him kinda soft but like still got his kaido-ness to him yk? AND THE BABYGURL REFERENCE AND TALKING ABOUT DRAGON FORM?!?? we talked about this how smut would be a trouble to write for normal kaido NOW WE’VE BROUGHT UP DRAGON FORM?!?! cant wait to read it😍😍😍😍😍😍😍anyway the whole thing was great and sexcee😫 and im glad you were able to write about the kaidussy

xoxo, kaidussy lover annon (from like forever ago💀)😘😘😘🤞🤞🤞🤞

KAIDUSSY ANON MY BELOVED I MISSED YOU AHHH °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

thank you so much ahh!! it really was a wild ride from “i need to have a death wish to write Kaido smut” to “i could take him… once” and finally getting comfortable writing it and making it everyone’s problem now because it definitely won’t be the last fic

really glad you enjoyed it, it was one of my favorite things to write lately! big blue dragon man has my whole heart (and other body parts). i had to do the mega kaidussy justice (つ✧ω✧)つ

hope you will pop in again when the next kaidussy drops soon, love you xoxo

[animated-moon]

hello there! I've been seeing this a lot but can you introduce your moots to everyone and what do you think of them? 🤗

HELLO THERE ANON <33 you caught me in a good day and i’m ready to have social interaction let’s go 🙌 i just added a few moots ive been talking to recently!! (and i finished this in one day)

@0jiro / meet the friendly neighbourhood iwa lover everyone. she’s very cute and i love her (we’re married) ! we would sell our souls for nanami (who wouldn’t) and she introduced me to a cute ket game <33 (thank you for moon ket he was so cute :( <3) she’s also very caring and if i were you i’d go follow her rn (what you doing if you arent already following her ?????)

@kyoutxni / I LOVE THIS MF 🤬 we’re hoes for each other he likes boobies and i draw him boobies ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 we have an amazing toji krabs collab coming but yall just aren’t ready for my amazing art yet. tiddie lover, suguru geto chaser, nanami wanter, thirst dumper (me to him. yes.)

@miyamartina / FIRST FRIEND ON TUMBLR :(( GORLIE I HOPE YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU SM 🤬 she has amazing art (i dont want to hear martina art slander i will throw a tantrum) and shes the sweetest person ever :(( thank the rats, truly 😞🙏 we’re both weird genshin (itto… atm) obsessed people and i’m proud to be her itto tiktok dump rn 🙌

@neonical / HELLO???? i love you sm it was love at first sight and we were meant to be <33 us irls soon 😞 we’re also married and we in fact have an actual marriage certificate guys 🙄🙄🙄 our priest was leo btw he’s a professional and definitely didn’t scam 2000 dollars off us <3 ALSO IS VERY CUTE N SWEET AND HYPES ME UP I THEM SM :(((( will give you lots of presents when we meet muahmuah <3

@pm4gal / HELLO ILY SM 🤬🤬🤬 thank you for contributing to my wedding funds on dank memer lots of kisses to you 😚 ALSO MAY IS SO CUTE IM GONNA CRY SOMEONE GIVE HER LOVE RN (i’ll steal your pelvis bones when ur not looking if u dont) she also tolerates my weird preferred nicknames + hypes me up a lot and we talk about a certain blond man a lot.. if you know what i mean 😍

@luvbub / BUB <333 bub is also my wife (let’s pretend mitsuya doesn’t exist atm 🧑‍🦯) and i love her for how much she loves yarn 😞😞 i mean have you even seen her talk about her crochet projects it’s so cute it makes me wanna have a try. SHE ALSO HYPES UP MY COUCH CATALOGUE SHE ENCOURAGED ME TO GET A JUSTIN BIEBER COUCH YALL ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 in conclusion, stan bub, luvbub (i’m hilarious) and support bub with everything you have <3

@shoyotime / hey incredibly seggsy babygurl 🙌🙌🙌🙌 /j INEZ IS THE BEST TOO <333 inez is so deprived of scented candles which should be a crime at this point 😕 one of my first wives ever and she lives in my closet #couplegoals #relationship #romantic 😍😍 one day i’ll send you a box of scented candles there and we’ll light everything on fire we can have a candlelight dinner 😍

@babydai / dai babie :((( <33 i love her sm she’s so gorgeous and sweet and cute :((((( she reminds me a lot of a bunny and she’s also one of the genuises who opened my eyes up to the world of cute ket game <333 i would drown her in my love and effection for every second of the day if i could >:( her voice is also super calming and adorable I LOVE HER SM 🤬

@beware-of-the-rogue / HELLO???? RO IS SO SUPPORTIVE SHE RB-ED MY WORK AND SAID SHES PROUD OF ME IN THE TAGS 🤬🤬❤️‍🔥 that’s all you need to win my heart over :(( i just know shes super hot and shes so caring ?!???!2$;9/$ complete momma figure i would smother her in kisses if i could 💯

@solaxena / ATHENA <33 athena is the cutest ever she’s my junior who i would protect with my entire life :((( she’s so cute and she just has that comforting aura around her that just makes you wanna melt like a marshmellow :( she’s also good at reading people but not in a creepy way 😞😞 AGAIN SHES THE CUTEST PERSON EVER I WANNA HUG HER AND GIVE HER CUTE KEYCHAINS EVERYDAY <33

@cupidines / CUPID !!! honestly i was a lil intimidated when i first saw your blog bcus you seemed so cool but sweet :(( (AND YOU ARE <3) and i’m so glad we’re moots and that i got to talk to you :((( also your cat is very cute and your blog is extremely pretty >:)) you’re also an adorable individual and i would run to whereever you are and give you free blankets and ice cream if youre sad

@haikyuutothetop / CEL >:(((( cel bby i love you so so much <33 we went through lots of divorces and marriages but tbh i don’t even remember why (but it was very fun >:)). I SWEAR I’LL TRY TO BE MORE ALIVE TO TALK ABOUT OUR PROJECT SOON 😞 with our wakatocelmoonten power we can take over the world 🙄🙌🙌 we’re just holding back smhh

@tobibam / BAM BAM!! bam bam is a huge sweetheart and thank you for writing such long asks to me and saying it’s alright i don’t reply immediately :((( AND YOUR VALENTINES LETTER TO US WAS SO CUTE TOO?!???? i remember when you asked for you and suga’s selfship for the ask game and yall were so cute omg :(((( pls stay cute i love you sm 🤬🤬

@mysterystarz / NOVA !!! nova is a big sweetie and akaashi lover >:)) she’s supported me a lot and along my journey with tendou anon my fav person ever :((( ALSO VERY CUTE AND I NEVER TOLD YOU BUT I LOVE UR THEME SM 🤬🤬 your writings are beautiful as always and honestly sometimes i reread the first longfic i’ve ever read from you 😞😞

@kitacharm / NAT BABE. GOSH. HAVE I TOLD YOU I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH SMH 🤬🤬🤬 you’re so cute and precious :( and supportive :( and sweet :(( and you were also always helping me with tendou anon shenanigans :((( you deserve so much and i hope school isn’t too tiring for you 🤬 i’ll go over there and eat ur homework if i have to 🙄👎

@ichigomis / RAY MY WIFE <333 I LOVE OUR SUN MOON DYNAMIC SM AND OUR TAG 🤬🤬🙏 you were also so supportive when i was crying about teppei (i still am) and when i said i’d write for thoma (which i have not yet) 😞😞 i have to interact with you more UGHHHH. and also please don’t tattoo that sakusa on your forehead i’m still concerned about that (i’ll draw you a better one soon 🤬)

@spiritingawaytoanime / ELLIOT THE SWEETHEART 🤬🤬🤬 once again i love you SO MUCH (AND THAT TENDOU FIC??????? THAT TENDOU FIC OMFG IM STILL THINKING ABOUT IT 🤬🤬🤬🤬) your writing is so good and holy shit your fits *chefs kiss* YOUR FITS AND UR COSPLAY IM ON THE FLOOR 🙌 i’m glad we became moots and also we’re gonna have to watch howl’s moving castle soon 💯

@shirari / you and shirabu CUTEST JUNIORS EVER 😞😞😞 and in case you’ve ever wondered, I DID READ THAT FIC YOU NAMED ME TSUKIYO IN <333 it made my heart do little jumps thank you so so much :(( ALSO YOUR ART???? YOUR ART IS SO SEGGSY I LOVE IT 🙏 please keep doing art it’s absolutely adorable

@teyvatdreams / DANI!!!! oh lord i REALLY have to talk to you more >:(( hopefully that’ll happen as i start to write for genshin again (i actually have an albedo fic in my drafts >:)))!! AGAIN ONE OF THE CUTEST PERSON EVER AND I’D SELL MY LEG TO PROTECT YOU 🤬🤬🤬 i love you sm and want to give you lots of headpats and fluffy pillows >:(

[alexduartenyc]

On my birthday, 23 yrs ago on this day I gave birth to a Beautiful baby girl. This GURL was NOT an oops moment. Her dad's mom was dying and 2 teens decided to give a dying woman her wish a of a grandchild before she passed. She passed on that yr and left me with a bundle of joy... A gift to me.... U were born on my birthday, on the EXCACT due date.... Easy birth and and wonderful feeling to complete the emptiness in my heart and world... Before u I had no one cause I was not blessed with what u have a MOM....Ever since it's been me and u kiddo.... We have been yin and yan since and from what people tell me we r the best mother and daughter team they have seen.... Thank you amber for teaching me love, humility and all the good I am is for u!!!!! When u hear those stories that impress u so much about ur moms, me😂😂😂 remember that U LIL MINI ME MADE ME and without u I don't know whom I would be but I know I would be lost without u in my life.... @amberlee_nyc HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY see u on mon in PR😘😘😘🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂#happybirthday #happybirthdaytome #bestdayever #motheranddaughter #happybirthdayniall #bestday #bestdayofmylife #motheranddaughters #motheranddaughtertime #babygurl #babygurll #babygurls #beautifulbaby #todayshow #familytimes #bestdaughter #bestrelationship #bestkidever #lovemylife #lovemydaughter

[doriandrifting]

Y’all have to stop tagging my Byler posts with “babygirl you’re the heart” at least from 9-5 because every time I see my notifications I start maniacally laughing, and I don’t know how to explain all the layers of this to my coworkers.