#background is based on a photo i took at my parents place out in the rockies

[lilyoffandoms]

Daenarya x Maiele

I had to okay!!?! Y’all can all blame @storyofmychoices for making Daenarya too irresistible.

[p0rkbun]

❝LOVEGAME❞ — Amber Freeman

⤿Pairing: Amber Freeman x Reader

⤿Summary: You and Amber have fun at her house while you ask for her opinion on the photos you took. One thing leads to another, you end up taking a shot of whiskey and your body starts to feel warm but you can't tell if it's the drink or her.

⤿Content Warning(s): underage drinking, fluff, cringe writing probably, reader likes photography, amber is jealous of a camera, soft! amber?, unestablished-relationship, sexual tension? other than that it's fluff :)

⤿A/N: Is this based on lovegame by lady gaga? Maybe, the title was originally "not yet" but changed because I was listening to lovegame and realize how fitting the song was....//////// also i do not condone to underage drinking, this is for tension purposes.

navigation✧ word count: 2.1k

"What do you think of this?" You hand Amber another picture. Amber invited you to stay at her place for a bit, to have fun, she said. After a long discussion of stab movies, you two decided to watch Evil Dead whilst you ask her thoughts about your pictures you took at school.

Ever since your parents gifted you a fujifilm X100v camera on your latest birthday, you couldn't stop using it. You practically brought it everywhere and had to take a picture when there's any slight bit of a good scenery. You felt relieved and happy that you can finally photograph with proper quality because that old one you had from middle school sucked.

Amber had seen you with that godforsaken camera atleast twenty-times a week, she frequently sees you taking a photo of the sky multiple times when she was trying to find you on school grounds. Even when she found it cute, she gets a little annoyed when your attention is focused on the camera a little more than her these few days. So she decided to invite your over and have her fun with you, she didn't realize that you would actually bring the camera too.

You and Amber have a very close friendship, she was pretty much your polar-opposite but you both found it appealing. She was a little...hostile sometimes but that didn't stop you from growing some kind of feelings for her. That implies the same with Amber.

Now you're sitting on her couch, scrolling through pictures as the movie plays in the background along with Amber glancing at you often to see if you're even paying attention. You were, not really, you seem to love checking in your precious camera and barely giving any mind towards the movie or her. She would laugh at the thought of her being jealous of a stupid device, which she was.

She respects your love for photographing but now she's kinda irritated at you spending the last few days taking pictures instead of hanging out with her.

"(Y/N), that's the same picture as the last one," Amber replies, squinting at the apparently interesting looking tree to your eyes "how many times are you gonna show me the same tree in a different angle?" She utters.

"Hey! Don't be a mean, it's necessary..." You turn away from her and set the camera on your lap while switching to another photo. You gingerly sit back and lift the device for a better view.

"You know what? I won't annoy you with my camera anymore, okay? I'll just have to delete some pics and I promise i'll watch the movie with you" You hear Amber scoff at your words while she slumps in her seat. She sits with her head against the couch back, staring into the ceiling, seething with annoyance and debating whether to toss your camera out the window or not. Of course, she couldn't do it because you're most likely to kill her if she did.

She tilts her head and sees you still absorbed in your camera. She continues to stare at you until you notice the intimate look on her face. You raise your eyebrow and glance back to the small screen on your hands as you edit out your pictures.

You still feel her eyes deeply staring at your figure, you glance at her and she was still looking at you but this time with a smirk.

"What're you smiling at?" You ask. She was momentarily quiet until she answered your very so obvious question.

"You"

"Why are you smiling at me?" She laughs at the question you had thrown at her, she leans in with her head resting on her hand this time and smile sweetly.

"C'mon, i'm just waiting for you to finish. Besides, you look cute like that, when you're focused I mean" Her voice was low and sweet but you can hear some kind of sensual to it. You brushed it off and ignore her compliment, thinking she was joking.

She notices you ignoring her and decides to get up and go the kitchen, once again you payed no mind and not even a minute later, Amber comes back.

Even if you always ignore that kind of behaivour from her, there's a thought in the back of your mind that tells you she was being genuine. You always notice her longing stares, sweetly-sickening smiles and unexpected softness towards you. You didn't respond to her flirty attitude, though you had to admit, you secretly observe her from a far multiple times as well.

You two were just close friends you thought, it means nothing. You always decline the possibilites because you would not believe that. You had a small dare for yourself, to test, you look at amber's sitting figure and of course along with her gazing at you.

"Okay, what about this one?" You pick the camera and showed Amber your selfie. It was a simple selfie, you took it because why not? Well that simple selfie got Amber staring at it intensely, she observes every feature of you in the photo. She smirks and gives a low whistle.

"That's a good picture right there" she smirks, in her case, she didn't mean the quality or scenery, she was referring to you.

"Really? You seem to like staring at this picture of me very much" You joke.

"Because I do," Amber smiles and starts to play with her hair as if to tease you "You're attractive."

You squint at her and smile a bit while leaning back in your seat, the camera on your lap is now long forgotten, you finally had your attention on Amber completely. You cautiously lick your lips and maintain a stoic face.

"You're enjoying this huh?" Amber shifts at her seat and sits back in a similar position as yours "I won't lie, I am" she says with a wink, she continues to play with her hair. Her smile turns into a smirk and her look becomes seductive.

You stare at her gaze, stoically until you notice a bottle of whiskey on the coffee table along with two glasses. You eyed it and asked yourself why you hadn't notice that before.

"Is that...whiskey?" Amber smiles and grabs the bottle "Yeah, you want me to pour you a shot?" She pours herself a shot and you gingerly gaze at it.

"Amber, we're underage" you shot her a look, indicating that you two can't do this. Amber merely laughs and leans back with a glass in her hand.

"Since when do we follow the rules?" She pours into your presumed glass "We're young and having fun." She says with a smirk. You were about to sass her but your words got stuck in your throat when Amber gives you that same sensual gaze.

You eyed the glass and let out a breath of defeat "Fine, just a sip" you accept the glass, you didn't know why you did that, why did you condone to this?

You take the glass while keeping a close-eye on Amber trying to see her reaction. You cautiouslly take a small sip and let out a disgusted face "Ugh.." you hear Amber giggle.

"Yeah, it sucks. Here's a tip, chase it with a soft drink or something," She swirls her glass, making sure the whiskey stays as mixed as possible "I have some coke with me for that purpose."

You scoff, you feel like you just commited a crime or something. You take a coke and drank it, you feel a bit better but the taste of whiskey is still there. Staring back at Amber you start questioning why the hell you drank whiskey, did she have some kind of trance on you? She certainly was charming you with her eyes and it had a good affect on you.

"You know, there are other things to stare at" you remark but your voice sounded a bit flushed, your stoic composure was starting to break.

"I know but I like looking at you" She says with a soft smile "I wanted to hang out with you, you know?" She takes her shot before chasing it with coke.

"Well you are, and my attention is fully on you" you scoff while folding your arms "all because of your annoyingly charming stare."

Amber smiles "so, my staring is really affecting you" her voice laces with pride. You remain silent as she pours herself another shot and takes it but not without gazing you with a provocative expression.

Not knowing what to do, you finish your shot and chasing it down with coke. You frown and wipe your mouth, finishing that shot was purely out of nervousness and now you start to have a warm sensation in your body.

Amber chuckles at your expression, another one of her intimate smile takes over her face before it turns into the softest one she has given yet. She moves her hand to the side, as if to motion for you to move closer.

You did by what she silently requested, shuffling closer to amber's side "I had enough now" you sigh.

Amber leans in closer after she puts her arm around the back couch behind your head. She smiles at you before giving you a small kiss on the cheek. She then looks directly into your eyes that were widen and a blush appearing on your cheeks, she smirks.

"What? Did you like that?" You were completely flushed and caught off guard. You didn't expect her to do that, your warm sensation inside starts to bloom. Your attempt to compose yourself is failing and you start to fidget with your hands.

"I....don't know what game you're playing here.." you said meekly, Amber raises her eyebrows and gives you a grin.

"Game? Is that what you think?" She laughs "Well, maybe you're right. Look at you, you're red and getting all shy" She whispers in a low tone "Is it the whiskey or....is it me?" Her voice sends you a shiver down your spine, never, you had ever felt like this before. You feel as if Amber had cornered you into a wall and all you couldn't do anything. She has really taken a toll on you.

"I wanna kiss you again, do you want me to?" She whispers in a soft tone, leaning in with her face close to yours. You breathe a bit heavily before inhaling and exhaling, the warmth is really taking over you and you were sure it was caused by both the whiskey and Amber.

With half-lidded eyes, you faintly whisper.

"Yes.."

Amber closes the distance and placing her soft lips on yours. It was slow and tempting, you grab onto her shoulders as she pushes you back a bit. You broke apart and she stares at you with loving-eyes.

"How was that?" She asked. You hum and look away shyly. She grins at your shy form "Was that...your first kiss?" Amber seems to be trying to tease you.

You glance at her shyly before nodding, she cackles and pulls you closer, wrapping her arm around you "y'know, you're even cuter when you're act all shy," she purrs as she pours herself another shot "do you like this? Did you like it when i kissed you?" She takes the shot before eyeing you in a manner you're too flushed too describe.

"...I..." you mumbled and then procced to look down.

"I know that you want me baby" Amber breathes into your ear, she then kisses the side of your neck, it made you squeak and blush even more. She whispers, her voice taunting "you like that?" She gives the familiar look she has been giving you since meeting her, pure seduction in her eyes.

"Y-You!" you stutter while flustered and bit your lip.

"I'll take that as a yes," she chuckles and bites her lips as well "god..baby you're so fucking cute" she whispers as she pull you even closer, slipping you onto her lap. You feel the warmth inside of you thriving strongly.

"Do you know what the best part of this is?" You shake your head, a little lost. She travels her hands towards your hips and rest on it.

"Despite the fact that you have never done anything like this before and yet you take every bit of touch i give you makes everything even better," she bites her bottom lip and whispers "It makes you ten-times more fucking hot." she says lowly with a dark expression before she brings you into a passionate kiss, you let out a muffled whimper against her lips as you slowly start to give into her.

As your hands wander onto her hair, grasping it, the warm feeling inside finally takes over you and making you yearn for her even more than before. This game of flirting and love you two had played meets Amber's satisfaction. Even when you lost, you feel very much pleased when she has you vulnerable in her eyes.

A/N: some of this was based on a convo from me and amber in character.ai she did something that made me run laps around the house but that isn't included here. I sincerely apologize if there was any misspellings or improper grammar, I don't write often lol plus english isn't my native language 🙏 also sorry if amber is ooc. I hope you enjoyed this ♡♡♡♡ please reblog, like and comment it would be much appreaciated ♡♡♡😊

°.✧•—✦

[dre6ming]

Actors on Actors

The delicate beginning rush

Austin x singer/actress fem reader

Masterlist <all chapters here>

Instagram photo dump masterlist

Pairing: Austin Butler x singer/actress fem reader

Warning: none

Plot: you and Austin get to be a part of the series Actors on Actors with Variety and you talk about both of your careers and his upcoming movie ‘Elvis’

Word count: 5630

Disclaimer: everything fake

Intro

Y/n:

Growing up I was surrounded by the magic of Elvis Presley, I would listen to his songs and watch his movies all the time. You know even as a young girl I was immersed in his craft and then learning more about him, finding out how much he borrowed from black culture was a big thing. How did that play out in the movie? Are we going to see some of that? Because I don't think he would've been as successful or would've found his own voice had he not seen those gospel musicians in church. Because Elvis loved gospel music so much as well.

Austin:

So true, he did love gospel and jazz and blues, you know. He curated his own sound based on that and he was living in a time when those artists that he loved so much didn't really have a voice, because of their skin. But he did, he had that privilege, so he was able to take this beautiful sound, that not many people, back then, paid any mind to, because of who was singing it. He took that and he made it into a phenomenon. So Baz wanted that the be very clear and he wrote it beautifully in the scrip, I-I hope people like the way we brought that to screen. Because Elvis was in awe of that culture and it was crucial to his success.

*video montage intro*

Y/n: *nods towards him and smiles*

Hi Austin

Austin: * scratches his beard and smirks*

I'm so happy to be here with you today, truly.

Y/n: *blushes*

Aw, I'm so, so honored to be doing this with you! I was gonna ask what was it like being a kid and living next to Disneyland? I've never been there, but I've always dreamed of going.

Austin: * fidgets around with his rings, looking down*

Oh that's a good first question.

Y/n: *laughs*

Because it would've been the only thing that I thought about, if I were in your place.

Austin: *giggles*

Um that's crazy though, that you've never been to Disneyland.

Y/n:

It's like I would've skipped school, I would've- So what was it like?

Austin: * shakes his head in disbelief*

I did, I did... so my, um *licks his lips* my mom homeschooled me for a couple years in elementary school

*y/n giggles in the background*

Y/n:

Oh ok

Austin:

And so she would just say and even when I was in elementary school. She would say: hey you wanna take the day off school and just go to Disneyland

* y/n audibly gasps*

Austin:

She was the most fun mom

Y/n:

Aw oh my goodness

Austin:

So we would just go and we'd ride Pirates of the Caribbean or something like that

Y/n: *swoons*

Oh, god what a lucky kid.

Austin:

That was, a lot of my childhood, was wrapped up in that

Y/n:

I'm so jealous, I never did anything like that with my mom, I grew up in Brooklyn and I loved it, I really did, but the most fun I had around there was going to this old record store. And when I was really young, I used to come home from school, go into the shop and the owner and I would just listen to lots of old records. *laughs* since I didn't have any money you know, *Austin nods smiling* Frank, the owner he, he introduced me to so many of the classics and quickly Frank Sinatra, Aretha Franklin, Elvis, they became some of my favorites.

Austin: *hums*

That's beautiful, but I still can't believe you've never been to Disneyland. *shocked*

Y/n: *shakes her head*

I actually never went out of New York as a kid

Austin: *adjusts in his seat*

Wow

Y/n: *leans a bit forward, adjusting the neckline of her dress*

Yeah, no, my, my parents worked a lot, they also didn't make a lot *shrugs* , so for vacation we would just visit Coney Island for a day in the summer time.

Austin:

What about now, what's like your favorite vacation spot, I'm sure you've been on few.

Y/n: * crosses her legs*

I haven't actually, besides traveling for work, I haven't been on a vacation. Growing up in a middle class house hold, made me very self conscious about how I spend my money and I guess paying for a vacation is something that makes me a bit uncomfortable, even if I can afford it now. But I'd love to go visit Scotland.

Austin: *licks his lips again, listening carefully*

Oh I'd love that too, I've never been either

Y/n:

What's your favorite vacation spot?

Austin: *looks around deep in thought*

Ugh, I think Florence, Italy, I've been there, a few years ago, before the pandemic and everything, it was so beautiful, I stayed over at a Vineyard, it was so amazing.

Y/n: *pushes her hair behind her ears*

Still I can't move on, like I would've been all day: take me to Disneyland

Austin: *chuckles*

I'm gonna take you to Disneyland

Y/n: *gesticulates*

Can you? Take me to Disneyland! Please!

Austin: * laughs *

It'd be so much fun, let's go

Y/n: * holds her hand up*

I know, I want to go, pinky promise!?

Austin: * extends his right hand and intertwines his pinky finger with hers*

Pinky promise! You know I'm always curious for people who didn't grow up around Disneyland, If it would make them feel as nostalgic as it makes me because every time I go to Disneyland I feel like a kid again.

Y/n:

Ooh, that's interesting, probably it would, I don't know, I loved and still love Disney so much.

Austin:

Yeah

Y/n:

By the way, you looked absolutely phenomenal in the first Elvis trailer, I can't wait see it. Ugh

Austin:

Oh thank you

Y/n:

I was really blown away and as someone who's now, you know, stepping into the music industry and being creative that way, seeing another fellow actor, go that way for a role it's just made  me... I ...I was-  I was amazed, I was impressed. Watching you go into this character and have the stamina have the presence, the spirit, the essence of what I, you know, grew  up looking around at, looking at Elvis, but bringing it and making it your own is no small thing. I have yet to play a character that requires me to do that kind of change but it must've been, it must've been difficult I, I imagine. And you had to play Elvis as a teenager tapping into that kid-like spirit, all the way to his passing.

Austin:

Mhm, that's *pauses* that was one of the challenges of it.

Y/n:

I was gonna ask you...

Austin:

We're shooting it out of sequence as well

Y/n:

Okay

Austin:

To lock into each period of time and know where you are spiritually and emotionally, in every moment because one day we're shooting 70s and the next day it's the 50s and then he's 19 or you know.

Y/n:

Did you did, you have to do a lot of , you know, cause I saw even with just how his physicality was, his body changing as he aged and got more mature from that teenage boy to the man we knew. Was there a lot of prosthetics? Like what was the physical transformation like.

Austin: *clears his throat *

Initially Baz, when we started working on it, he said we could film it in sequence, so we thought ok well I can take a break and I can gain the weight and do that, but then with Covid and everything the whole schedule got turned upside down *y/n hums listening closely* . So we ended up, working a lot with, you know,  finding the subtle ways that you can age. A lot of that was, I had a movement coach named Polly Bennett that was amazing and she was great at working from the inside-out and that, that was the way that I knew how I needed to approach it. And so we could work on how your body changes with time when you start aging and he's performing and there's lots of movement, you know, I wanted to ask you, cause you did professional dancing for a while, cause towards his fourties' he started expecting a lot of pain and I felt that completely.

Y/n: * breaths in deep *

Yeah so for my first ever job, for the "50 shades after" series I had to do professional dancing for 3 years and I don't know if I ever expected the toll it would take on my body. Even though I was so young, I was 11 when I started and at 14 when I finished I had to go into a lot of physiotherapy,  because my muscles and my joints, just hurt so bad. And even now I have to be extremely careful with the way I move around because I get this extreme back pain and my muscles get locked in, it's it's really not that great so yes sports is great, it's healthy, but performing and dancing are very different from just doing  sports and it requires a lot of engagement from your body. I swim a lot now, to keep myself active and I have to watch myself when it comes to doing stuns on set.

Austin:

What's like the hardest stunt you've done

Y/n:

The hardest one wasn't necessary physically hard, but I needed a day to recover from it. So Amelia, the character I play,  her death is mysterious she falls or she jumps from the rooftop of her high school and we had to film that and I'm extremely scared of heights and yes I was in a harness and there was a huge mattress at the bottom, but it was still so scary to do and I was so afraid of it and during the time that I was falling I would tense my muscles so bad that the next day I just had to take a day off because I couldn't, I couldn't get out of bed, because I had contracted my muscles so hard, it sent me into a fit of pain. How about you, how did you recover from the physical effort? Because I imagine that everything you did took multiple takes as well.

Austin: *looks concerned*

It, It definitely was challenging from many many points, I- I was always in the gym trying to keep myself fit, but I definitely did have days when I felt like my body would give up on me, but I pushed through somehow I did.

Y/n:

And did I, did I understand it right? That you actually did the 68 comeback performance first, that that was your first time in full Elvis costume, right? How was that?

Austin: * scrunches up his nose and takes a deep breath *

Oh my god that was so nerve-racking *y/n giggles smiling* because I had a year and a half before that point to prepare. And suddenly the moment of truth is here, where are you gotta go out and all the preparation is, it's for nothing if you don't get it right within action and cut.

Y/n: * nods approvingly*

Yeah, yeah

Austin:

And so before walking on the stage I had the terror that, what if I'm not good enough or if I go out there and I fail everybody? And my carrier feels like it's on the line in this moment right...

Y/n:

*whispers* I'm so sorry

Austin: *breaks a smile*

But ,you know, I thought of Elvis and the way his career was on the line back then and he had terror and so I could end up just living in that and realizing that fear isn't the enemy in that moment and that if you use it, is the same energy that he was going out there with and started channeling it into the audience. *he absentmindedly points around*

Y/n:

Mhm, yeah

Austin:

And then you see somebody in the audience really genuinely smile and then somebody else laughs and a girl blushing when you get their energy and you have the rapport with the audience. You actually performed live on stage with Taylor recently, right, did you feel that? Do you connect with people while they're in the audience? Do you feel the energy of that?

Y/n: *laughs nervously fidgeting with her bracelet*

Yeah you, you feel it all and you know Taylor Swift fans, they're just, they're so passionate about the music you're playing to them and it was my first time ever performing a song in front of an audience and nonetheless a song that I wrote, so I was so scared before I went out there and started singing. *Austin looks in awe at her* I was trying to talk myself up, but I was so so nervous and I almost had a panic attack and you know Taylor was there trying to calm me down, but nothing actually calmed me down until I was in front of the audience. I started singing and I saw people resonating with my words and with my energy and the way they were mirroring my feelings * puts her hand over her heart* it was truly just magical it's all I can say.

Austin:

Right, beautiful song by the way.

Y/n: *mouthing thank you*

Austin:

Yeah I was listening to it on the way here and in a weird way, I relate to it. Before Elvis I was in a place in my career where I felt like "at this point I'm about to quit acting". Because nothing out of what I had done until then really felt good enough for me to still stay in the business. My career, I never felt like it took off or anything so listening to you and Taylor saying about this fear of going out of style and becoming old I've been there and I felt like that. So what was the writing process for you?

Y/n: *looks up thinking*

Hmm... Well I was doing the background vocals for the re-recording of Red in January of last year and one day I came to the studio and Taylor was there strumming the guitar singing "nothing new" . But she only had the first verse and a few bits of the chorus and she wanted to put the song out because the fans had been expecting it, she had teased it before, so now she had to put it out and after listening to the bits that she had written I asked if I could take the song home and try to write on it. *snickers * Which was very bold of me, because I had never done anything like that before and it took me like two days to feel confident with what I had written, because I finished it the night I came home with it, but it took me some time to actually get the courage to show it to Taylor. And for me I didn't personally write from the perspective of someone who feels like their career is in jeopardy or they are going out of style. I wrote from the perspective of someone who feels like their youth and innocence are in jeopardy.

Austin: *picks at his chin, tapping his foot against the floor*

Do you feel pressure of having to grow up faster than you're ready to?

Y/n: *sighs looking at her hands, cracking her knuckles*

Yes I do! The media puts that pressure on me and on girls in general. A week after my 18th birthday I stumbled over this article on the Internet *whispers covering her mouth playfully* it is a dark place everyone should be wary of it, *speaks normal again* but I couldn't help myself and I, I opened it and I read it *pauses to breathe* and someone a man, a man well in his 40s, had written about me. It was an article wishing "happy birthday" to me, followed by the question: when will I play characters *stammering* characters who perform adult scenes on TV ? Will there be a "Fifty Shades of Grey" remake with me as the protagonist? Would I be down to film those kind of scenes and how soon should fans expect to see that from me. *hands shaking*

Austin: *leans forward taking her hands in his*

That's horrible

Y/n: *breaths*

And I don't know I felt just so humiliated and ever since then every few weeks articles like this pop up. I sat to close next to a boy, I looked way too comfortable with a guy and people start throwing around things like: am I dating? are we getting some action? feels so dehumanizing and it makes intimacy feel so filthy.

Austin: *pulls his chair closer looking her in the eyes*

It shouldn't feel like that, I'm a man, so in a way I've never experienced that part of media. But my past relationships have. I hate how easy people strip artists of their work and reduce them to a product. I watched "Reconstructing Amelia" three times so far and I have to say, you're performance was incredible.

Y/n: *sniffs breaking a smile and squeezing Austin's hands*

Thank you!

Austin: *gives her a toothy smile*

What was the preparation for that role like?

Y/n: *sits back in her chair adjusting her dress*

I read the book 1st of all and then it wasn't much that I needed to prepare for. I related to Amelia to a T, I also was bullied back when I used to go to public school and I felt how mean kids can be and I definitely felt pressured to do certain things to fit in, never things like what Amelia had to, but her story is meant to just shine light on something that's so big, that's so talked about , as well , but still it's so ignored and people just look over it you know.

Austin: *nods bouncing his leg up and down *

You also got to work with Orlando Bloom and Emily Blunt, what was that like?

Y/n: *tilts her head*

They're incredible and I'm sad that I didn't have more scenes with them because of the way we filmed the movie, we have the present time and the past time. The past time being Amelia's point of view, things that are happening at school with her private life and there's not that much interaction between her and her mother or her father and so I didn't really get to bond or work with them too much. There was also Covid that kinda of kept us separate but they both made a point to reach out to me and be supportive and give their advice and I got to see them at the Oscars again and talk to them for longer than I got to through the whole process of filming so that was great. *laughs*

Austin: *starts clapping*

I wanted to congratulate you for that, it was well deserved

Y/n: *blushes and tries to hide her face with her hands*

*Austin laughs at her silliness*

Y/n: *gets composure and clears her throat*

Yeah I - thank you! I can't even say that it was a dream of mine to win an Oscar. I... I have this thing where I don't even dare dream certain things because even doing that feels like too much for me, but it is nice to see my work being paid off in such an honorable way. But the list of nominees was huge and there were many talented names on it. By no means do I believe I'm the best out of all of them, but I am happy to have taken the award home. I am!

Austin:

I was rooting for you the whole time

Y/n:

Where you?

Austin:

Yeah.

Y/n:

I'll make sure to do the same for you next year and circling back to you, you sing in this movie, right? Was that the first time for you singing in a movie? What was it like, trying to sound like Elvis?

Austin: *blushes*

So flattering to have you say that, thank you, I’m excited to hear what you think after you've seen the movie. * scratches the back of his head* it was my first time ever singing in a movie or in front of anyone other than my mother or close friends. I worked with vocal coaches, because I have a similar tone to Elvis's voice but I had to work with it in a way that wouldn't hurt my voice, but I haven't seen the movie or anything other than the trailer and I don't know how it ended up sounding. I did a few tracks for the movie soundtrack, that will be coming out, but I haven't heard much of those either so I don't really know how it ended up sounding but I'm, I'm hopeful.

Y/n:

When did you first fall in love with music?

Austin:

I can't remember a time when I didn't love music. I got my first guitar when I was 12 and since then I couldn't put it down. I'm not shy about playing an instrument around other people, but my singing voice has always been an insecurity of mine because I never felt like it sounded good, so it was a challenge to break out of that shell. I think my love for music and for Elvis, as well, helped a lot there. How about you? How did you come to love music and song writing? Because you write a lot of songs and you have a song coming out soon.

Y/n: *crosses her arms over her chest*

I've always love music also and when I was eight I begged my parents for a guitar as a Christmas gift and I received one, but when I asked for them to take me somewhere I could learn how to play guitar that's where they drew the line and said “no”. So I had a guitar sitting around in my room for a long long time and I decorated it with Hannah Montana stickers. *Austin laughs clutching his stomach* Then I got casted in "50 shades after" and Jamie Dornan, who plays Christian Grey, is an amazing guitar player and I asked him if he could teach me guitar. Also my character, Phoebe, is a pianist, in the series and I asked if I could actually learn how to play the piano and the studio paid for me to have piano lessons and that's how I learned piano and guitar at the same time and now I also play the ukulele and I'm learning violin.

Austin:

Amazing. *mumbles the word “beautiful”*

Y/n:

And then songwriting... I've always kept a journal, always and I used to write these poems in it. Then I got to work with Taylor and saw how her poems were brought to life by the melodies she composed and I thought: is that something I could do? And now I have a song that's coming out and I'm excited about it.

Austin:

I'm excited about it too.

*both laughing*

Y/n:

You said there's a soundtrack coming out for the movie, I'm guessing Baz Luhrmann is on the production of it. Tell me more about him. What’s Baz like?

Austin:

He's incredible

Y/n:

A director with whom I hope to work some day. Meeting him at the met gala was so surreal, he's so nice and he had so many wonderful words to say about my performance in previous projects that I have done and he seems like such a wonderful human being and I wonder what was it like to work so closely with him. Were you a big fan of his before? Because I've always loved Romeo and Juliet ever since I first watched it when I was 10 and I adored the directing of it. Was there something in his style of directing that surprised you?

Austin:

I often say he is the closest thing to a jazz musician when it comes to a director, you know, other directors they are like classical musicians they have specific directions and notes you follow. Then you have Baz who does so much homework and his team does so much work and you have a year and a half to prepare for this thing and you show up to work and he says “ I just re-wrote this entire scene last night” and you're like a deer caught in the headlights because suddenly you have to re-learn what you've been doing for a year and a half and he has this freedom to him. He had this thing that he used to say on set all the time, that we are all a big family and there's no place for fear in art.

Y/n: *nods listening closely*

Wonderful, I hope I get to experience that one day.

Austin:

I really hope you do, he really brought me out of my hiding, I was so shy and he took me and turned me into this rock 'n roll star. But it was mostly about finding my sound, I didn't want to be just an impersonator, I wanted to do justice to the person and Baz played a big part in achieving that.

Y/n:

Was it hard finding your sound? To make it be like Elvis's?

Austin:

I worked with multiple vocal coaches, over the course of two years, trying to find my sound in Elvis's music. I hope we did it, as I said I've only heard what it's played in the trailer so far. But the sound became more fluid and a lot more easy to get into when I got to actually do it and be there in action, it was like when you finish school and you’re finally are in the world trying to show to everybody what you've been learning. What was it like for you to match your sound to Taylor, to sing backing for her?

Y/n:

I also worked with vocal coaches prior to actually going in the studio with her. It was my first time ever in a studio when I recorded with her and I was so emotional over it because somewhere in the back of my mind I think I always dreamed of becoming a singer and finding my voice around Taylor was the best thing I could've ever asked for. Her and Jack Antonoff are so supportive and so understanding. I have a very similar voice to hers if I try hard enough we almost sound identical which is part of why she wanted me to do the background vocals for her , but I have this thing where I can get into a higher vocal range than her and she can go very low where I can't and so we complement each other in that sense and it works very well, but I think I'm still trying to navigate my sound. I hope with future projects I get to play with my sound and adapt it to myself even more.

Austin:

Well I can't wait to hear more of your singing.

Y/n:

Thanks

Austin: *rests his hands on his knees*

I also had this amazing experience when we were recording in Nashville there was this old wooden church where we recorded some of the gospel numbers and there were 30 people there and I was the only white guy and I felt so out of place. But the moment they started singing and they just let it all hang out, I felt so welcomed and so privileged to be a part of that and I got to enjoy gospel music for eight hours straight and it was so beautiful how they transitioned from one gospel to another so smoothly. In that moment I really, really understood what drew Elvis in about those kind of sounds and music. I felt this electricity in my body and I always went back to that feeling when performing my scenes and every single time I didn't feel like that, I knew I was off so I always tried to go back there mentally to get myself into character.

Y/n:

That sounds beautiful. I had that for of the confrontational scenes I did as Amelia. I watched hours and hours on YouTube of female actresses having these raging screaming matches on the screen and I took note from that and from the feeling of how frustrated I felt for them. I was like these are fictional people on the screen and the feelings of rage and frustration that they are making me experience, I need to be able to do that and so I would just before we would do a scene where I have to fight with someone I would go back and watch some of those scenes that I loved so much. Actually there's one that makes me laugh now thinking back but there was that scene of Zoe Saldana in "Avatar", that rage she felt and betrayal, in the way she literally send it home to you through the screen it always touched me and I tried to do that.

Austin:

You were doing it. I'm here to say you were, there were times watching you do these scenes where I felt like I wanted to fight with you, on your side.

Y/n: *placing both hands over her heart*

Aw you have no idea how much that means for me. But what else did you do in order really buckle down and focus on the role?

Austin:

*mumbling* I'm so interested to hear your take on this *clears his throat* So during Elvis I didn't see my family for about three years because I was prepping with Baz in Nashville and then we flew to Australia and I had months where I wouldn't talk to anyone and when I did all I could think of was Elvis

Y/n:

Wow

Austin:

And so I was trying to do everything like him, my voice, my accent, my laugh so I don't think it was very enjoyable to talk to me anyway. I would talk to my sister and she'd be like

Y/n:

Austin what are you doing?! *laughs*

Austin: *also laughing*

Yeah yeah oh my, at first it angered me a bit, but with time I think I understood her. What about you, was there anything you did?

Y/n:

Yes I unfortunately also went into a period of time where I didn't talk to anyone for months. I went into this spiral, into this very dark corner of my mind and I- I was forced to pull myself out of there because I was not doing very well. I'm thankful to have people like Timothee by my side. He saw the signs of depression and then came to the rescue because I don't know where exactly the line between me and the character I was playing got so blurry that I couldn't feel it anymore. I was lost in this person who wasn't me, but was becoming me. So I don't think I was ready for that kind of method acting.

Austin:

I can definitely say that happen to me too. I got lost in Elvis, but I had Baz, who at the end of the day would always call me aside and be like: just go home and be Austin. I didn't listen every time, but sometimes I did and that helped a lot.

Y/n:

You also started acting very young like me, I watched you on tv many times, on Disney and Nickelodeon. What's something you took from those acting days and brought into the way you work now

Austin:

I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, but as a kid surrounded by adults who are telling me, teaching me how to work in front of a camera I just was so disciplined and I had this desire to be perfect and that's definitely something I carried with me. I'm not sure it's the healthiest thing though.

Y/n:

Oh I know that all too well *chuckles* I'm also a perfectionist, my whole life I've been one, it's not healthy, it gets the job done it gets rewarded, but it's not healthy for you as a person to always raise the stakes higher and higher and make the standards sometimes unachievable

Austin:

Sometime ago I watched a Ted talk where they talked about the difference between shame and guilt. I thought: how can I put that into acting. As I do with everything. Difference is shame is "I am a bad person", guilt is "I did a bad thing" and every single time I felt off I would just say to myself "I'm a bad actor". It was never about "I did a bad scene" , my craft was off, you know I always took it so hard upon myself but in the end what even is bad in art...

Y/n:

Right it's so subjective.

Austin:

So I'm working on just getting to free myself up from that, that weight we put on ourselves.

Y/n:

Well this has been such a crazy day, I'm so happy to have done this with you.

Austin:

Pleasure is all mine and I look forward to talking to you a lot more, I'm so grateful we got to do this today.

*they both stand up and hug each other*

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[small-sinclair]

Belong

A Lester POV dabble based off this song.

Tw: unalive attempt by drowning, CPR, Worried Bo and Vincent, this is very dark, sad thoughts from Lester, violent Bo, emotional abuse mentioned, physical abuse mentioned, abuse from parents mentioned, misnaming Bo, strong language used, not proofread

If you are feeling as if you can't be here anymore, just know you are welcomed to talk to me. If you you need help, reach out. You are loved and needed in this world, starshine. You are not alone. I am so proud of you <3

The Louisiana marsh was high as the everglades became muddier by the hour. It's rain season in the south, and the Sinclairs weren't strangers to it. They know the woods around the town. They know the best place for crawdads and fishing. They know where the gators mate have their nests. They can tell you where the best little beaches for picnics and little cries if you need to be alone. It's sometimes dangerous to be there by yourself if you don't know where you're going, but it's even more dangerous when it's flooded and the currents could take you before you can scream.

Maybe that's why Lester is out here on top of the broken railroad bridge, looking down at the murky waters. He held the faded photo of his family between his fingers that a girl took when days before his mother died Vincent's hands. It's been two years now and he feels as if he was stuck as the forgotten child. He only asks for one day, one day for his brothers to remember, and they couldn't even do that! Bo's been wrapped up with their mother's "future" and Vincent's been working hard. Killing is bad, it's the worst sin there is; that's what the pastor told them one morning in church. But he never said anything about dying by your own hands.

Lester's suit wasn't too snug, but if you're going to meet God, you gotta look nice, right? That's what his father said before he blew his head off in front of Lester. He took the time to shower and dress right as if he was going on a date. He combed his hair and cleaned his face. Even though the two cinder blocks tied around his ankle clashed with the outfit, Lester still looked good. He felt good, too.

Bo would've made fun of him looking like this. Though he isn't the cleanest out of the three, he does know how to look good in a suit. Of course, it didn't fit the status quo of them: Bo the pretty one, Vincent the artist, and Lester the grimy and creep.

He wasn't a creep; he just looked like one because he was always dirty from the roadkill! It wasn't a pretty job, but it paid well and he got holidays off along with his birthday!

...but his brothers couldn't even remember that. Instead of cake, he got Bo yelling at him in the morning, wishing him dead and gone. He looked at Vincent, who silently watched in the background and didn't cut between him and Lester. Bo yelling at him was one thing, but for him to wish death on him was another.

"Wish ya weren't born!" He spat, his words filled with venom. He can't even remember why he was yelling at his little brother, but he didn't want to lose this battle. "Should've died at birth!"

"Don't say 'at, Bo! Please!" Lester's throat felt dry as he looked at his brother in the morning light. The sun in his hair made it look like he was on fire. "Ya don' mean it!" His hands wrap around his arms tightly.

Bo pushes his brother away, picking up an ash tray that Lester made out of glass years ago fro their mother. "Don't put words in my mouth, Les." He scoffed. "Ya torn 'is family apart! I's your fault! All of it!" The memories he held in the glass played in his mind like a movie. "Fuckin' bitch!"

Lester looked at Vincent for help, but even Vincent didn't know how to help. How could he? This was his twin, his other half. "Bo... don't say that." He didn't mean to start crying. "I-I'm sorry."

"Ya know betta than 'at!" Bo shouted, making him flinch. "Fuckin' cryin. What? Ya a baby, now? No, yer a fuckin man--!"

Lester didn't mean for the words to fall out, but, "Stop, Pa! Stop, please!" He covered his ears, tears burning his eyes. "'M sorry, Pa! 'M sorry! I promise I'll stop! Pa, 'm sorry!" Within a beat, silence filled the house as horror took over Lester's eyes. Why did he call him that? Why did he think Bo was his Pa? "Wait. Wait, no, 'm sorry, Bo! 'M sorry! I didn't mean it!"

"Git out of my house."

"'M sorry--!"

Bo threw an ash tray at his face, but it broke on his shoulder, glass cutting into his shirt. "Gi'out!" That's when Vincent stepped in, pushing Lester out the door so he didn't the full front of it. As he ran out of the house, he heard his brother yell, "Kill yourself before I kill ya, fuckin' freak!"

... that's all he needed to hear.

Bo must've found his note he left on the counter in the shop by the new oil cans he brought in the afternoon. Bo must be wishing he took back his words, unsaid everything as his eye read over and over Lester's neat hand writing. He might be getting Vincent from the basement in a frantic to go get his brother off the railroad bridge. He's probably gunning the truck towards the marsh, cursing himself out as he comes closer to the freshly broken path, finding Lester's truck with his gun still in the passenger seat.

Or he doesn't care. He saw the note and laughed at it, shaking his head at the call for help. Might call him "attention seeking" as he goes back to working without a care. He might be looking for his wretch for the car, thinking Lester is home with the dog. Vincent will be underground with his wax creation, not caring about him.

Yeah... he likes this one better. If he goes without his brothers ever knowing and he would find out on the news, he thought that was better. It'll save the trouble and stress.

You were always in the way, his mother hissed at him once when he came home in the middle of Bo arguing with their father. She pushed her youngest son away when Vincent stopped playing the piano, and she started yelling at him for playing the wrong note. He was shoved aside and sent to his room without food as if he was an animal.

He might as well be an animal to his family. He made it through high school and life with out his family, so why is he struggling now? Why did it bring him here?

Because you're nothin', Lester Sawyer Sinclair, his father answered for him.

He looked down at the photo again and let out a shaky breath. Though they were force to be in suits for Easter Sunday, a friend shot a picture of them smiling at a terrible joke Bo said that made all three laugh. The muddy waters below faded as he thought of the memory. Rebecca took that photo with her new camera that she got from the Easter Bunny, the bright blue and green Polaroid taking picture of everyone that morning. When she got them in this photo, it only showed the happiness and calm thoughts of the brothers. That's when he thought he was truly happy. Trudy was nowhere to be seen when it was taken, but she came back in a flash when she saw her kids standing next to Rebeca looking at the photo, giggling about how they should get a group picture together in their nice clothing.

"If 'm still single when 'm olda, promise I'll marry ya,' Lester whispered in her ear. "Promise."

"I wonder how ya doin', Rebecca," he whisper to himself as he gripped the photo. "Wonder if ya're alive and well." He smiled at the thought of her smiling somewhere up north with her collection of photos and drawings. She always wanted to be an artist like her grandmother--

"Lester!"

"Wonder if ya miss me," he continued, ignoring Bo's call. He could hear his boots snapping through branches and muck. "Wonder if they'll miss me--"

"Les! Git down from 'ere!" Bo didn't like how fast the water was rushing. He didn't like how Lester was looking at the water below, seeing ropes tied to blocks, how dangerously close he was on the edge. "Come home--"

"Ain't my home, remember?" Lester said bitterly, looking up at the full moon. He closed his eyes and took in the light. "Ya tol' me 'at 'is mornin'!"

"Didn't mean it!" He took off his jacket and threw his hat behind him in front of Vincent. He motioned him to stay back. "I swear I was lying! 'M sorry!"

"Does 'at heal my arm, Beauregard?" Lester snapped, his foot resting on one of the blocks, ready to kick and go under. "Does 'at take back everythin' ya said?" His laughter cut through the trees as he shook his head, making Vincent's shoulders tighten and flinch. "There's too many colors, Bo! It hurts ta look an' think! An' ya said 'at 'm betta off dead." His throat tighten like the time his father had his hands wrapped around his throat after walking in on him cheating with his first grade teacher. "I don' belong," he chocked out, tears falling faster than the river below. "Didn't ya say 'at?"

Bo looked down as he stepped on the bridge, walking carefully over the wood and metal. " 'M sorry, Les! I didn't--"

"Doesn't matter now, does it?" Lester hung his head towards Bo, pushing the blocks closer to the edge. In the moonlight, his brothers saw the pain swimming inside him, and he was drowning so fast under it all. "I'll do wha' Mama couldn't when I was a kid." A broken smile escaped as he sobbed, "I'll as-ask God to le' y'all in."

Bo started running towards his brother, his hand reaching out. "Lester, no--!"

Welcome him with open arms, sweet water below.

Without hesitation, he kicked the bricks forward and he fell with it. Time slowed as he looked up, arms reaching up towards the moon and stars. He wondered if he could be able to paint the sky when he's an angel, if he could put up the moon, and let out the rain. There has to be room for him up there somewhere. His mother said it wasn't his fault that she couldn't love him. She could only love one child and Vincent was the one she loved. If he was a bit better, a bit more like Vincent as an artist, maybe his mother would've loved him? No, that's not right--

Then his mind shifted to Rebecca in her lemon printed dress over white fabric. Her red hair braided and tied into a bun. He promised to love her with ever fiber, and she did the same. They split a locket in half, her with a picture of him and he with a picture of her. He kissed her goodbye when she got on the train in the city and headed north to Indiana to live with her aunt after her parents died. She was the only woman he loved, and he wanted to see her again...

Is she looking at the same moon, thoughts of him passing over tear stained face? Does she still wear the locket like he is tonight?

Why do I think of ya now, dandelion? Why now in my death hour? He thought bitterly as his back hits the cold water below. He doesn't know what to do as he sunk under the water, going down with the coldness. He can feel the moonlight grace his face as his hands reaches up. He closes his eyes and lets go of his breath. He felt himself fading into the currents and mud, passing fish and sticks. He's swam in these waters when he was a kid, so he knows the bottom, he knows the cold mud, he knows the true embrace of Louisiana and her arms over the ruby fields.

I'm sorry, Bo... Vincent... I'm not strong like ya.

When darkness welcomed him with a tight embrace, felt like home, like he belonged somewhere.

.

..

...

Strong arms pulled under Lester's shoulders and lift him up from the sand and mud, dragging him to shore. Bo ripped his shirt open and started CPR on his chest. The Louisiana heat touched his skin, the swampy air making his hair stand, as Vincent met him on the shore. He went to Lester's legs and started cutting the rope, pushing back the blocks. He didn't want anything near him that reminded of their failure. The twins are at fault, and he'll blame himself until he dies. He could hear Bo counting then--

Lester coughed roughly, Bo lifting him and turning him to his side, throwing up muddy waters and death. He's breathing roughly as he tired to see if he's dead or not, but when he saw Bo's face in the starlight, his worried face and breathless expression, bright blue eyes wet from water and tears, Lester was pissed.

He pushes his brother away, coughing, "Why'd ya do 'at?" He turned his head and threw up in the sand, coughing mud up until it mixed with his birthday cake he made for himself. It was just a small cake, too.

Lester cringed away from Vincent's hand rubbing his back. "Breathe," Vincent whispers. "Breathe, Les."

"Fuck you," Lester gasped, wiping his mouth. "Fuck ya both--!" He leaned forward and threw up more, food hitting the mud under him. "Now y'all care?" He wanted to shout at them, but he can't find the air to do so. He was shaking from shock, form anger, from death. "I had-had to do 'is t'make ya notice?"

It's like a stick snapped in his brain as he felt Bo wrapping around him, Bo holding him close. Lester tried to push away, hitting his chest to get away from Bo's grasp, but Vincent cornered him, holding both his brothers in tightly. He was tired, so tired...

Lester's hands fall as he stopped fighting. He was sandwiched between the two people he loved most, and he started falling apart. He felt the swamp looking at him with glowing eyes and gentle kisses from the fireflies brought him back to his family. He buried his head in Bo's chest as regret and self-hatred fill his lungs. What did he do? Why did he do it? Brothers fight, but...

"Never leav' me," Bo whispers in his hair, his wet clothes sticking to his skin. "Les, never do 'at again."

"Ya wanted-wanted me gone," Lester chocked out, shaking like a leaf in Bo's arms. "Ya said 'i yourself!"

"Stupid," Bo murmurs. "Was fuckin' stupid ta say 'at." He takes a staggered breath. " 'M the worse. Don' forgive me." His grip around his little brother tightens. "Never forgive me."

You're just like me, boy. Just like your old man.

Lester felt Vincent snake his hand into his. "Love you," Vincent said in his curls. "Lov' ya so fuckin' much." Vincent started rocking back and forth slowly, pulling Lester and Bo in tighter. "Don't know wha' I am without ya."

Lester squeezed his hand. "Y'all hurt yer throat if-if ya keep talkin."

"Shut up," Vincent breathed out, his voice raspy and gravely. "Shut up. Ain't 'bout me now. Just you... always you, Lester."

The moonlight glowed brighter around the three, and Lester closed his eyes, allowing himself to cry in his brothers' arms. He felt his heart breaking faster and harder as he sobbed harder and louder against Bo's wet clothing. His ankle where the stone was tied felt sore and hurts to move. In his pocket, he felt the photo of his brothers, and he felt the memory of their laughter fill his head, Rebecca's giving them the photo when it was ready. The blanket of moonlight covered him in comfort and love. He knew it'll be a long road for him to recover everything mentally, and his brothers will be there this time. No pushing, not throwing, nothing but love for the next couple of months.

He'll grow wings and he'll fly his brothers out of here. He promised to the moon and the muddy river. He promised the stars and his brothers in his arms. He'll get them out of here, somehow, someway.

Get a load of this train wreck.

[joshslater]

Collection Fee

Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

I've known Malik since we shared dorm in high school. Weird how the two immigrant boys "randomly" end up sharing a room. Not that we really cared. It was nice to have something in common, though our backgrounds were vastly different. It was on the 58th day living together, and yes I have a diary, that he revealed he could do magic. He hadn't been properly taught, since he was only two when they fled, but to someone who had never before seen real magic or even considered it possible every little was impressive. There was one thing he was good at, although he had few opportunities to use it. He could perform body swaps.

It works completely differently than any way I would have imagined, but also in the most literal sense of the description. The bodies are swapped. If you were standing in one end of the room and he in the other, once he finished the spell your bodies would have swapped places with each other. Your consciousness on the other hand wouldn't, so suddenly your body is across the room while you are still standing in the same place, but in Malik's body.

Over the following months we got to know each other's bodies well, sometimes spending several days in each other's bodies. Malik was a bit of a jock, though never really good at sports, always wanted to run or lift weights or whatever. We made an arrangement that I would take his body on his rest days so he could do workout with my body. I worked extra at Jarod's Burgers, and luckily everyone there were racist enough to not see the difference between me and Malik. Since it was really me all the time they wouldn't be able to know based on differences in knowledge or speech. Or they just didn't care that two students used the same slot under the same name. They were still racist though. Anyway, I paid Malik a PT fee out of my salary for keeping my body in increasingly good shape. I can't imagine a trainer being more personal than that. All I had to do was pay him money and endure the sore muscles.

Then came the lockdown and remote learning. Malik moved back to wherever his parents were and I stayed in the dorm. I didn't have internet good enough for zoom at home, and staying one per dorm room was allowed under the rules. We were still swapping bodies for him to train in the improvised gym he had set up in the garage. After about a month he asked when he could get his money? I first didn't understand what he meant, but then realized he still expected his PT fee. I told him that everything was closed down and I wasn't getting any Jarod's Burger money. He got really pissed at me, our first real fight. He was accusing me of stealing or at least fraud, and said he wouldn't do any more swaps until he was paid.

Fine, I shouted back and disconnected the call, only to realize I was sitting in his body in the dorm room. I tried to call him back, but he rejected it. He sent a text message back saying "I'll do nothing but chest now. Get back when you have the money". It wasn't a huge amount but without an income I was already penny-pinching to get by. First I thought he was perhaps only joking, but at least being rash and change his mind later, but a week later I came to the conclusion that he was stubborn enough to keep my body until I paid.

Desperate I put up my textbooks for sale. Not surprising there wasn't much of a bidding frenzy, but I managed to sell a few tomes. I would take the camera a take a photo of all the pages I thought I would still need, which took a few hours per book. It took a few weeks to sort out before I could tell Malik I got the money. "You have payment for the time since we last spoke?" the asshole asked me. I was very close to telling him to fuck off and keep the damn body, but I could imagine what mum would say, so I kept my mouth shut. Luckily he contined with a "Just kidding."

I sent him the money through an app and he asked me if I was ready to swap. "Sure," I said. I hadn't seen myself in a month at this point, but didn't expect much, if anything to be different. Holy shit was I surprised after the now familiar swapped was done. My chest muscles were enormous. "What the fuck did you do to my body?" I asked him. "Just some focused exercise (and a pinch of magic). Hope you have a bra! lol" he responded. I know nothing of bra sizes, but I could clearly see that quite a few would be too small. I was speechless. "Don't worry. They'll probably be down to normal once this fucking lockdown is over."

He was probably right. If I didn't exercise them they would slowly melt away. I looked at myself in the mirror. It wasn't just that they were big, it looked out of proportion compared to the rest of the body too. I started to touch them and jiggle them a bit, and I could feel a hard-on approaching. Perhaps I should keep them for a bit..

[theoncomingchaos]

Why Nuea loves Toh

I swear this is my last essay about Nuea.

So, Toh asked a really great question in the finale about why Nuea loves him, and I wanna give my take on it, but first since all of us here saw that parallel between Nuea and Kiyoi, I think we first need to address the differences between them so we can better understand where Nuea is coming from and what he needs in a relationship.

First off, we need to look at Nuea and Kiyoi's backgrounds to understand that while yes both of them are treated like idols- they are very different. Kiyoi was left alone a lot as a child, he felt unloved and unhappy, and that’s why he wanted to go into the TV because everyone was always smiling and that was his escape from his lonely life. He desperately needs someone to love him.

Nuea is very different because he has a loving family. He has friends that support him and care about him. Kiyoi had none of that. Nuea’s problem is that the masses at school treat him like an idol which is dehumanizing. They don’t bother getting to know him, they just come up and ask for his photo or a video message or whatever else they want without caring about his feelings or bothering to get to know him at all. Even Proud didn’t seem to know him. It seems like they were just banging, not actually dating, and she was using him as an arm piece. Even their break up didn’t seem to be about losing Nuea as a person so much as losing him as an object to show off.  We can tell from the way she talked about him and dismissed his feelings entirely.

The thing about Nuea is that he is a really good person- he goes out of his way to help people (Ep. 1), he's playful, hardworking (basketball), responsible (speaking at his parent's anniversary, his determination to get Toh's parents' approval, etc.) and is so fiercely loyal and loving, but most people just see: rich, popular, attractive, and athletic. I think this is actually part of why he is such an exhibitionist about his relationship with Toh. He wants people to see that this is his real life beyond their shallow images of him.

Now for why he loves Toh. Nuea said that at first he was mostly just curious which makes sense. He had this weird little guy sneaking around and taking pictures of him from afar without ever approaching him. This is interesting because we know most people don’t hesitate to just come up and ask whatever they want from Nuea. They can come get pics with him because they know he’ll say yes. But instead Toh just follows him around. This makes him different from everyone else. Knowing that Nuea feels like most people don’t actually see him, part of that curiosity and interest must have subconsciously been about whether or not Toh did see him. That thought took hold and thus, suddenly, as Nuea said, seeing Toh made his day. There was someone there watching him, seeing him, and loving him, with NO expectations, no demands, nothing. Someone loving him selflessly.

So, he started looking for him. He wanted more of that good feeling. He wanted closer. He wanted to know Toh. Nuea said he looked all over the place, and in the novel apparently it took 6 months before he found him to invite him to take photos at Lan’s party. By this time, he was already attracted- though more to the idea of Toh than anything else. But in real life, this is what attraction is like. You find them attractive or you get curious about them, then you want to know more about them and spend time together.

So, Nuea starts finding ways to spend time together. Based on his behavior with Toh, we can see that this is someone he feels totally comfortable being himself with (in comparison to his constantly cool persona with Proud), and moreover, wants to show himself to. He wants Toh to see him as he is: the pouting, playful, sexual, and deeply affectionate guy beyond the “cool” persona. He wants to know Toh as well because he’s unique and different and interesting, and makes Nuea feel so good.

Spending time together, this love grew- they are both a little needy and unhinged, they are both very sexual and playful, they find joy just being together doing whatever. In Nuea’s mind this is the person he wants to keep, the person that makes him happy and that he can shower love on. Toh is the person who sees him for who he is and isn’t after him because of his looks or money.  

This is why Nuea cried when he found Toh’s collection. He thought Toh had been seeing him as he is and trusting him, but in reality, as much as Toh does know Nuea, his lack of self-confidence kept him from allowing himself to fully trust Nuea or see them as equals.

However, they communicated their feelings and worked it out. Toh knows that he can keep Nuea now and can allow himself to trust that this is real, and Nuea can have this weird little person that makes him happy and helps him feel like he can be his genuine self. We can see this commitment and equality throughout the last few episodes: meeting each other’s parents, being switches, and their shared apartment filled with their shared memories.  

So, overall, the way I see it, this story encapsulates what love is for a lot of us. It's being with that person that makes you happy, that person you enjoy being with and that you can be yourself with. Love doesn't need a bigger reason than that.

[qillmhi]

🐢💜 Donatello x Male!Reader

Enter: New Interest!

OwO what's this? The long over due part 2?

Part 1

Stalk·er

/ˈstôkər/

noun

1.a person who harasses or persecutes someone with unwanted and obsessive attention.

2.a person who hunts game stealthily.

Donatello groaned as he dramatically dropped himself on his chair, slightly cringing as the sharp 'squeak' his chair made in protest.

He'll fix that that later. For now he was facing the toughest situation in his life yet.

It had been exactly 2 weeks, 4 days, 7 hours and 37 minutes since he had met April's love interest and frankly... it did not go the way he expected it.

Not only did the plan fail because of his hesitancy, but April is still going on and on about her highschool crush. It was highly infuriating and Donnie didn't like it.

And so he began with his investigation. He easily hacked into the student's information log and found his target. First came your student ID number, then your address, your parent's number and socials.

For a while, he convinced himself that he was only doing this to protect April. Gotta make sure you're a real person and not secretly a Kraang like Irma. He's doing the right thing in order to make sure his family and friends are safe! There's nothing wrong with that, right?

That was of course.... until he stumbled upon your Instagram---and my god you were just a different level of good looking.

Pictures upon pictures of you surrounded by lavish things and expensive clothing from Gucci to Chanel to Balenciaga---they all look good on you! And you were in places he never even imagined of going---Hawaii, Taiwan, New Zealand, Paris, you were everywhere!

Each photo was cleverly taken with expressions ranging from relaxed, to excited, to melancholy. It didn't take a genius to figure out that you were modeling.

Great! Not only were you Mr. Good Looking Popular Boy, now you're a model too?!

That's just ridiculous!!!

Donatello, at that moment knew, God made you just to spite him!

'Hyat! Take this! The ultimate human!'

It was at the heat of the moment when his hands took control while his mind rages with the temperature of the sun. He printed out a photo of your face with that cute-ehem-asshole grin and duck taped it to a pillow.

He now understands how Rapahel feels when he's mad. Donnie just wants to pour out his frustrations and punch something! Anything!

But just as he was about to give the first blow to his (y/n)-punching bag, he stopped.

In fact, one look at your smiling face, all of his anger immediately dispersed.

You looked happy. Carefree and innocent, like a teddy bear that needs a hug.

Donnie's face starts to turn red "Ah!! Stop it, stop it!!" He slapped his cheeks to calm his nerves. He looked at his makeshift punching bag and turned it face down. He'll go back on that later.

The tall terrapin walked back to his computer. Maybe he just needs a different photo? Yeah, an ugly photo. Maybe one of those stolen pictures of you picking your nose or mid sneeze!

"Yeah just need to find an ugly photo of him!" He assured himself "I'm sure I can find one on no time!"

There weren't any.

Each image of you was framed to perfection. He had to bitterly admit that your photographer knew exactly what he was doing.

"Grrr!!!" This was not good. Not according to plan.

So far, you were clean. Too clean.

He bet he could find some sort of dirt on you in other social medias instead so he went off to hunt down your accounts. It didn't take long for him to hook your phone's GPS on his computer, letting him know wherever you are at any given moment.

"Doña Alicia's elementary school? Ooorrrr a secret Kraang base!!" He screamed at the monitor "You won't be getting away from me, you thief!!"

And that, ladies and gentlemen is how Donatello Hamato went from background checking, to obsessive stalking.

"Tsk." He didn't like that word. He prefers 'Gathering information for safety purposes'.

He wasn't directly harassing you nor was he hunting you. He's just being protective of his loved ones!

Which is totally different!

He sighed. Today wasn't going good. His time and thoughts were occupied with you so much so that he hadn't had time to think about anything new. He already finished doing repairs anyway, maybe he'll call it a day and get some rest?

The purple turtle stood and dragged himself towards his room, passing by his brothers on the couch.

Leo was the first to notice him "Need something Donnie?"

Donnie just shook his head "No. I'm thinking about going to sleep."

"Woah!" Mikey did a double take from his video game "Did I hear that right? Donnie? Sleep? That's like mixing water and milk!"

"Actually, its water and oil."

"Whatever!" Raph injected "You've been acting weird lately."

Donnie was offended "I am not!"

"Well.." Leo started "You have been distracted a lot during training. And you're always in your lab but we don't hear you making anything." He shrugged.

"Can't I work in silence? What if I put sound proof padding in my lab?"

"Did you?"

"....no.."

"Hey guys!" April popped up seemingly out of nowhere.

"Hey April!" Mikey waved, still busy with beating his own high score.

Donnie stood in full alert. April is here!!!

Donnie clearned his throat and approached the red haired beauty "H-Hi Apri-"

"Leo! I need your help!" The redhead zoomed past the genius brother and went straight to Leo. Donnie sulked.

"Sure, what can I help you with?" Leo stood from his position on the couch to face April who looked bashful and hesitant.

"Do you ah... think you can help me with Space Heroes?" She asked.

What?

Leo looked surprised but otherwise pleased that someone took interest in his favorite show "Of course! May I ask why and what part you want to know?"

"Everything!" April replied without a second thought "(Y/n) mentioned that he used to watch Space Heroes as a kid and I was wondering if you could help me know enough to get a conversation flowing?" Donatello growled. He didn't like that April was going out of her way just to have something in common with you.

"That (y/n) again? Sheesh girls are crazy." Raph grumbled.

"Please Leo?" She clasped both of her hands and did her best puppy dog eyes at Leo.

Donnie didn't bother hearing the rest of it.

He stomped his way into his room and slammed the door shut. He dropped on his bed, immediately making eye contact with (Y/n), the un-punched Punching Bag.

"This is your fault!" He picked up the pillow and started shaking it "You're ruining my life!!" Donnie shouted at the poor pillow. "You already had everything! Why do you need her too?!"

He glared at your stupidly handsome face "You're waayyy too perfect to even be realistic!" He ranted "You may not be a Kraang but that doesn't mean you're not secretly an alien, are you?!" He accused the pillow as if it was going to reply.

It didn't.

"Oh what am I doing? This is so stupid." Of course it wouldn't reply. Donnie plopped back into his bed, still holding the verbally attacked pillow.

"Donnie?"

Donatello screamed, accidentally throwing the pillow on Raph's feet.

It landed facing up.

Raph looked at the picture taped on the pillow. Then to Donnie. Then the pillow.  Then back to Donnie.

"I... I-I can explain!"

"So that's what happened?"

Donnie nodded. Raph was surprisingly understanding. For a second there, he expected his hot headed brother to run around the lair telling everyone about what he saw.

"Well I'm not really good at giving advice-"

"I know."

"-but I suggest you figure out this guy's personality in person. Anyone can fake their personality in social media and girls tend to get too knocked in on looks to notice anything bad about the guys they like." Raph said. "If he turns out to be a pretty boy with a bratty attitude you'll know to stay away." Raph leaned on the wall as he finishes.

"Wow..." Donnie was impressed. That didn't seem to bad "That's actually... a really good idea."

Raph smirked "Yeah, you're already stalking him so why not follow him around too?"

"I'm not a stalker."

"Yeah?! Tell that to him!" Raph gestured at the discarded (Y/n) punching pillow on the floor.

Donatello blinked. Walked up to pick up the pillow and looked at it straight in the eye.

"I am not a stalker." He glared at the pillow.

Raph facepalmed.

Part 3

[cherriejpgx]

[ based on on my last post. what I would do to take Iwaizumi to my favorite Mexican restaurant and have him try everything ]

Tapping your pen the side of your forhead, focusing on the words in front of you, Erik Erikson was an ego psychologist who developed one of the most popular and influential theories of development. While his theory was impacted by psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud's work… and you have wonder off again. You look across at table and see Iwaizumi focused on his own textbook with one pen on his hand and a highlighter on the other.

“Hajime” you whispered. Nothing. His green eyes were focused on his Intro to Cardio Exercise Physiology textbook.

“Hajime, I know you can hear me.” you groan, knowing he ignoring you on purpose.

Not taking his eyes off from his book, Iwaizumi responds in a firm voice “Mid terms. You have your Life Development midterm tomorrow at 9am and I have Physiology exam at 10am.”

“Okay, I know but I am losing focus and-”

“Sounds like a personal problem”

You cross your arms, rolling your eyes at his comment, “Can we please take a break?”

His green eyes finally meet your brown eyes, letting a sigh out of his mouth, “Last time we took a break YOU spend 2 hours at Barnes and Noble walking around.”

A nervous laughter slips out your mouth as you ignored his eyes. “Well yes but when we came back I was more still and quiet and actually studying, wasn’t I?” From the corner of your eye, you see his brows and lips pulling down into a scowl. That scowl still frightens you, even a year later of knowing him.

A sigh comes out from his lips, knowing you’re right. There no point of forcing you to study because he knows once you lose focus it’s impossible to bring you back. He learned the hard way the first time you study together. After 40 minutes of studying, you lost focus and beg Iwaizumi to take a break and he wouldn’t nudge. Until you kept walking around, talking to him, going through his bookshelf, that he realized you weren’t going to be still. So he learned when you ask for a break, it’s best to listen because then neither of you won’t get anything done. “Okay fine, but one hour max.”

You jumped at your feet in exicement, a big smile forming at your lips. “YAY! Thank you.”

He couldn’t help but smile too knowing he made you happy. “Where do you want to go?”

“Los Tres Reyes” you said before Iwaizumi can finish his question.

Iwaizumi titled his head to the side with a look of puzzlement crossing his face, “To where?”

And then it suddently hit you. For the whole year you’ve known Iwaizumi you haven’t taken him to your favorite Mexican Resturant. “I have failed you as your only Mexican friend. How can I not take you to Los Tres Reyes.”

Rolling his eyes at your comment, grabbing his keys, “I do have other hispanic friends you know?”

You look at him, smiling sweetly, “I’m the only one you see outside class though.”

He knows you’re right. But he couldn’t help it. There was something about you that Iwaizumi loved. Maybe it was the way you spoke Spanish when you were on facetime with your parents, talking so quickly but they always understood everything you said. Or maybe the way the sun glazed at your brown skin as he walks you to class. Or maybe it was when he first walked into your apartment and saw a different glimpse of you. A Mexico flag hanging proudly in your living room right next to your family photos. One where you graduated high school, another one where you are 12 and holding your newborn brother, and a bunch of photos with your nieces and nephews. The way you talked about them and always answered their calls no matter what you were doing, he knew they hold a special place in your heart. And in the background he could hear Spanish music playing, soon he would learn it is called Bachata. He saw a different part of you and his feeligs for you coudn’t help but grow more. He knew that you understood what you meant to be part of 2 different cultures at the same time.

…..

Opening the door, you hear the bell ringing letting know the employee someone has enter the store. You stand on line, looking around taking everything in. The bright green walls, a novela playing on the tv, Prince Royce playing on the background, an altar for La Virgencita and the best part? Every one looked like you and spoke the same language as you.

“I still can’t believe I haven’t brought you here!”

“Maybe you would’ve brought me here. If you wouldn’t beg for me to take you to Barnes and Noble or Target or Starbucks every single day.” Moving up the line Iwaizumi notices they’re the next ones and he hasn’t even looked at the menu. “Wait where do the menu? How do I know what to get?” and before he knows it. You’re in front of the cashier and he hears that beautiful language he has learned to love.

“Buenas tardes, mija. ¿Qué te gustaría hoy?.” (Good afternoon. What would you like today?)

“Hola. ¿Puedo obtener dos horchatas grandes y dos chicharrones preparados?” (Hello, can I get two large horchatas and two chicharrones preparados?)

“Por supuesto. Su total sería $22.22” You nodded at the cashier and swiped your card.

“I could’ve paid.” Iwaizumi said, walking towards an empty table.

“You always pay. Let me treat you. Besides I force you to take a break.”

“What did you get us?”

“You’ll see.”

Raising his eyebrow at you, “How do you even know I’ll like it?”

“You’ll love it. Trust me.” At the corner of your eye you notice the employee coming with your order. “Gracias”

“This is called an Horchata.” You said giving Iwaizumi his drink. “It’s sweet. It’s made from rice milk, cinnamon, and sugar. And this” pushing the plate of chicharrones preparados in front of him, “It’s Chicharrones Preparados. It has mayo, queso fresco, salsa Valentina, cueritos(pork skin), avocado, and sour cream.”

A soft giggle left Iwaizumi lips as he heard you switch English to Spanish and back to English. It was a common thing you’ll do switching back and forth. Most of the time you wouldn’t notice it, but he did. And he absolutely love it every single time.

Iwaizumi brought the Chicharrones Preparados and took a bite. All the flavors melted on his mouth, “This is really good”

You smiled at him. “I know. Try the Horchata.” Iwaizumi brought the cup to his lips and took a sip. and then another one. and another one. He loved it.

“This taste so good. Do you know how to make it at home?”

You couldn’t help but admire him. How he was enjoying a part of your culture. “Yes. I know how to make it.”

“You have to make this every time we have study dates then.” Your eyes widen open with your mouth slighty open.

Iwaizumi looked at your expression and put his hand over yours. “Like you said. You’re the only I see outside of class.”

You looked at Iwaizumi with a beamnig smile, taking his hand with yours, intertwining your fingers with his. “So is this a date?”

“No this is not a date. Trust me, when I take you on a date which I will soon. You will know it’s a date.”

Your cheeks got warm with a tinted pink, “Okay Hajime.”

“Okay.” Both of y’all finish eating your food and drink holding hands over the table, knowing this is the beginning of something new.

[whatdamiwatched]

Max & Helen - From the Beginning...

In preparation for the sharpwin ship sailing next week, I went and rewatched season 1 to really contextualise the way their relationship has developed, and I have to say it was quite eye opening.

The Introduction

We are introduced to Georgia in the first scene with Max via his phone screen, there’s a photo of her as his background photo. Their first conversation on screen happens when he calls her in the middle of this day just after he speaks to Helen for the first time

Max- Just calling to say hi

Georgia- Really?

Max- isn’t that what people do?

Georgia- people, yes. You…not so much.

Max- I’m trying, I’m going to change, I’m going to win you back

Georgia- well you have 12 weeks.

It isn’t until later that we find out fully that this marriage is failing and being held together by guilt and a difficult pregnancy, which makes it even worse that Max’s attempt at “trying” was calling her in the middle of the day to say nothing compelling.

Enter Helen- confident, smart, an asset to the hospital and the only doctor Max personally seeks out on his first day- to insist that she immediately cut down on travel or get fired. While the other doctors are stats and figures to him when he starts at New Amsterdam, Helen is Dr Helen. Already their relationship is being established as different from his relationship with the other doctors. In a throat biopsy, he’s distracted by her on tv- so distracted in fact, that he’s pushed to give her another ultimatum even though the first one hasn’t expired.

Max’s ultimatum was significant for Helen because for the first time since she had been running and hiding from the pain in her life, someone saw her and cared enough to make her stop. Even though it was a medical director she just met, and it was because of work, it was grounding for her for someone to see her and need her in that way.

Her choosing to come back was significant, not just because of Max, but because it was the catalyst for facing the emotional baggage she had been trying to escape.

So here we are- Max in the hospital where his sister died and donated her organs, trying to find closure and Helen- weighed down by emotional baggage that she’s ready to face.

Tell Me One True Thing

Georgia and Max meet in the hospital where he works- her energy is light and energetic; their connection is fun and their first date is in the hospital cafeteria. From that scene, their banter is fun and flirty, but Max is relaxed – they both are, it’s an easy connection. When Max proposes, he does it by the hospital when he’s on call! He’s in his scrubs and not only does he think that’s okay- she thinks that’s okay.

Their relationship never really existed outside of his career, he never put her first, and she points this out when she finds out about the medical director job. She knows that he will not choose her over the hospital, especially not the hospital where Luna died. The thing is, Max doesn’t even really try. He never chooses her, and she never actually expects him to.

When he almost dies at the lake and has the temporary epiphany that he has to take his cancer seriously, she doesn’t advocate for him to leave his job- even though…he almost died. She knows the job still comes first. Georgia and Max’s relationship thrived on emotional distance- when Georgia begs him in her hospital bed to tell her one true thing- he could only say- I love you. While he and Helen debated his cancer treatment, her only input was going with what Max wanted? When he woke up from his minor tooth surgery, his first thought wasn’t how the surgery chain went, it was what helen said specifically.

I love my doctor

Before Helen, Max had likely never felt true intimacy and vulnerability. He had likely never been able to be himself completely with a partner. We don’t know much about his relationship with his parents, but we can deduce that he’s not close to them.

Although the physical chemistry was palpable from their first scene, Max and Helen built a friendship based on trust and honesty since they let each other in very early. This relationship was built with the best intentions but every relationship comes to a point where emotion supersedes emotion and that’s where we ended up at 1x 16 where the clairvoyant tells Max that he’s going to lose someone close to hum. As soon as she assured him that it wasn’t his wife, he pulls Helen aside to reassure her and try to explain how he feels about her ending by saying “I love my doctor”.IN THE MIDDLE OF TREATING A PATIENT IN THE MIDDLE OF A STORM WHILE MARRIED. At this point, both Max and Helen are at a crossroads of the undeniability of their connection, even though they are both too principled and respectful to call it anything other than “this thing between us”.

At the lake, when he goes to spread ashes for Luna, he says to her- or to the wind that he’s addressing as her- everything I do is because of you. I just keep trying to save you , over and over that’s all I do and I never, never will.

Now where did we end up hearing those EXACT words before?

In that moment, it’s Max admitting that he’s been consumed with emotions that are clouding his judgment and he has to let go.

When Helen uses those words in 2x16, the subtext is the same. By that time, she had saved his life and even Georgia’s life- multiple times. She even saved his life twice in one episode! She saved his life by taking on his cancer in the first place, she saved his life by choosing to pass him off to another doctor when he was using their relationship as an opportunity to not take his cancer seriously and she saved his life by making the decision for him to stop that treatment when it wasn’t working. She took on the role of deputy medical director- which let’s face it was more or less the medical director, she found him, not one but two trials, she gave up half her department that she loved more than anything. She gave up her romantic relationship- she meant it when she said everything I’ve done I’ve done for you- just like Max meant it when he said it to Luna. Max and Helen had have both poured themselves into people that couldn’t pour back, one because she was dead, and the other because he had too many warring emotions to deal with.

Helen could have let Max save her more- he definitely was willing to be that person and showed it many times, but we have to accept that she was in a very difficult position. Just as soon as she felt settled, started a new relationship, made a decision about freezing her eggs, she’s hit with a consuming, intimate relationship with someone that’s married. She had to leave some walls up.  

Everything I Do Is For You

Their characters have gone through a lot- Helen has a dead parent and a dead fiancée, fertility issues and a fear of vulnerability and the feeling of running out of time- Max has a dead wife, who he had outgrown emotionally, raising a child alone, battling with grandparents that blame him for their daughter’s death and parents that by all indications don’t play a significant role in his life, plus a dead sister he has carried with him his whole life. Finding each other was in many ways, the catalyst each of them needed to move forward with life at so many points. For Max, he could have very well died without Helen- Georgia could have died in the bedroom without Helen- his grieving process would definitely have been longer and more complicated without Helen – it wasn’t insignificant that she was the one that pushed the ghost of Georgia out of the apartment, she was an anchor through it all.

For Helen, she was pushed to come back to the hospital and by having that anchor to a place and her patients, she was able to explore romantic relationships and face her fertility and wanting a child head on, she was able to explore how much of herself she could give to another person again after Mohammed died and try another relationship. In turn, she was able to be in a different position when Mina came to live with her.

By Max receiving the kind of selfless love he had never gotten before (from the parts of his story we’ve been told), he was finally able to heal, from so much of the stuff he’d been carrying to come to a place where he feels able to match Helen’s energy. To come to a point where he’s able to see himself as a WHOLE person, not just a flawed one- not just a guilty one- not just an overworked or crazy or erratic one. The speech at the end of 3x13 to Luna’s parents showed just how far he’s come; how much he’s changed and how much his relationship with Helen has changed him. The confidence that he was enough as- is a Max that we had never seen before.

And Helen- naming them- before now, it’s always been Max with his double meanings  and his “I want to build something better for you and Mina” and “It helps not to be alone” and “I can’t do this without you”, but this time it’s Helen- Helen who is saying “us”- Helen who is putting them together as a family and is relaxed and comfortable doing so. Helen who isn’t simply giving him advice as a friend or listening to him but giving him advice as an anchor- we are here and we are fine and you need to fight for our family because it’s worth it.

I see you

The decon shower. His hand trailing down her neck. Those voicemails. Here they are finally, trying to get into an ADULT relationship. Moving beyond the cute hand holding and lingering looks, to hopefully many kisses, many distractions and many mornings waking up next to each other.

Sharpwin is coming and I’m ready!

[catohphm]

A True Friend for a Werewolf

Hi everyone, here’s the third in a series of drabbles that shed some light on my MC, Cato’s relationships with the canon characters of HPHM. I’ve written pieces for Talbott and Badeea. It’s Chiara’s turn now. For a while, we didn’t know what house she was in. She was revealed to be Hufflepuff in the sixth year. Chiara’s life and personality are defined by her biggest secret: she’s a werewolf. Very mysterious, she is. But unlike Talbott, she also faces social rejection and shame if her status is disclosed, not just government interference. In time, Cato grows to build a very close friendship with Chiara based on trust and a vow to look out for each other and keep their secrets safe. Just beware, this post is longer than the others as I provided some background and more details to help build the foundation of their bond. Enjoy!

Chiara Lobasca was born to an affluent family. Her father was an arithmancer and her mother was extremely skilled with memory charms. Due to her knowledge of the spells, she was employed by the Ministry as an Obliviator, responsible for solving violations of the secrecy laws by wiping the memories of muggles who were aware of the incident, as well as knowledge of magic in general. 

As a young child, Chiara ran afoul of the infamous werewolf, Fenrir Greyback. She was bitten by him and became a werewolf too. He attempted to recruit her for his army, which sought to take over the wizarding world as revenge for oppression against their kind. Fortunately, her parents were able to stop him and send him packing before their daughter could be influenced by him. Chiara, aware that she got lycanthropy from her encounter with the cruel Greyback, was extremely scared that he had gotten very close toward taking her away from home and doing who knows what to her. Sheltering their daughter, they chose to keep it private that she was a werewolf, knowing of the large negative stigma and laws that would make it hard to live with her condition. 

The Lobascas managed to live stable lives for some time afterwards, but the expenses of procuring Wolfsbane potion to help Chiara get through her transformations put strain on the family’s finances. She eventually befriended a neighbor named Selina, who wasn’t intimidated by hearing she was a werewolf. They were good friends until the former saw Chiara after she transformed. Selina was horrified and never talked to her again out of fear. Her memories were wiped by Chiara’s mum so she wouldn’t have to live haunted by the memories. It was from this incident that Chiara became a more guarded person, being very cautious over who she let into her circle.

She was sorted into Hufflepuff upon arriving at Hogwarts. Her secret meant her life and she understood that if it went out, she’d be in great danger. Chiara’s greatest fear was the fact she was a werewolf becoming known at school. Inside though, she remained the sweet, goodhearted individual she was before she was infected with lycanthropy. Between classes, she would help out Madam Pomfrey with work in the Hospital Wing, her dream of becoming a healer. It was there she first met Cato.

While Chiara found the Ravenclaw boy to be a kind soul who valued people, they remained only acquaintances for a while because of her previous experience with her former friend. They said “Hi!” or even waved to each other when they passed in the halls, but Chiara tried to avoid conversation as much as possible. Cato wondered why she was like this, but he had a feeling that she had something she didn’t want to share, so he respected her choice. It was early into their third year that they got closer.

Cato, Penny and Chiara were all in Herbology when a boggart emerged from its hiding spot. It took the form of a werewolf. Hearing Penny’s shouts, Chiara ducked under a table and fled from the greenhouse when the boggart was repelled. Her memories of Selina finding out she was a werewolf were triggered by the incident. As a result, she became less like her usual self and isolated herself more from her peers. Both they and her professors caught on this and grew worried. Penny was concerned too, and she sought her best friend Cato to try to speak to her roommate and find out what’s going on. 

He was advised by Penny not to mention her to Chiara, as she is worried that her encounter with the boggart may create a rift between them. Cato was worried too, as he hadn’t seen Chiara in the hospital wing much after the ruckus in the greenhouse. He first questioned Madam Pomfrey on her whereabouts. She suggested he look in a cupboard down the hallway she uses to store medical potions and other supplies separate from Snape’s classroom so that students wouldn’t touch them during classes.

Cato went to the cupboard, quietly muttering "I hope you're in there, Chiara." A door opens and her, recognizing him by his voice, ushers him in and quickly shuts the door. Chiara explains that she has to tell him something, needing someone outside of her house that she can be able to trust with the information. He learns of a rumor that she overheard about a first year who was attacked by a mysterious white creature in the Forbidden Forest which was believed to be a werewolf. The victim is believed to be a Gryffindor named Pippa MacMillian as she was reported absent from Astronomy the night the attack took place. Hearing this made Chiara desperate. Afraid of what could happen if people started thinking she was the creature, Chiara wanted to tell somebody she knew who could be able to help her solve the mystery.

Together, she and Cato sought out Pippa, who couldn’t recall anything the moment she was attacked in the woods. With the help of a memory potion, she was able to explain that wasn’t sure if her assailant was actually a werewolf. Claw marks on the arm prompted the assumption it was a lycanthrope. Chiara was very relieved to hear this. The three of them dispelled the rumors with Penny’s help, who was also happy to learn the good news. Cato and Chiara became friends after the case was solved. They talked more, especially when they were assigned together in classes such as Herbology. She was still careful with how deep the conversations got, but entrusted Cato with her secret, knowing she could depend on him.

Eventually, their bond would be put to the test. Chiara introduced Cato to an acquaintance of hers, another werewolf named Remus Lupin. She revealed how she shared some of the wolfsbane potion she received from the school to aid in his plight. Lupin was poor and had to keep moving and changing jobs every once in a while to prevent people from finding out he was a werewolf. He stopped accepting wolfsbane from Chiara as it was now time for him to keep moving on. Before leaving, he reminded her that the full moon would be out that night.

That night, Cato and Chiara were playing gobstones, where they opened up a bit more about each other’s lives. She quickly left after remembering Lupin’s warning about the Full Moon. Urgently looking for a safe place to transform, a greatly worried Cato followed her to the Training Grounds. She was about to tell him to run. But it was seconds before she shifted into her werewolf form. Instead, she told him to not let her hurt anyone. As she transformed right in front of Cato, he covered his eyes with his hands, tripping and falling on the ground. When he looked back up, Chiara was now a large werewolf with white fur. She was menacing, but there appeared to be some hesitance in her motion. Cato pulled out his wand, got up and with it behind his back, he called out at her “This is not who you’re really like Chiara! Remember, you’re my friend! You can count on me!” Chiara pauses for a moment, halted by what he just said, but then becomes aggressive. He calls out “I’m sorry! I have to make sure you don’t hurt yourself or anyone, for you! Cato casts Flipendo but the jinx misses and the transformed Chiara strikes him, knocking him back to the ground. His arm is now hurting from the hard blow, but he remembers the Banishing Charm he had learned from Charms a few days ago. Teeth-clenched from the pain of his arm, Cato aims his wand at the werewolf as she closes in to him, his eyes now brimming with tears. He mutters out “Depulso” in a stressed, worried tone. A mass of bluish-white energy explodes from the tip of his wand, blasting the werewolf Chiara several feet away from Cato.

She gets back up on her feet and stares at Cato. A twinkle gleams across her eyes and she makes out a weak smile, before turning away and running back toward the Forbidden Forest to wait out the rest of the night. The morning after the fight, Cato joins Chiara in the artifact room to catch up on the night before. She, although surprised, thanks him for standing by her and not running away when she turned into a werewolf. She then explains why she was keeping her distance all this time, recalling the incident when her neighbor found out what she looked like as werewolf and asked her mum to Obliviate Selena so that she wouldn’t have to live in fear. Chiara was then reluctant to make friends as she didn’t want to harm others through her lycanthropy. Now confident enough to face her fears, she fully opens up to Cato. 

He presents her a photo he recovered from the Training Ground after the fight. It was a beautiful color photo of the sun setting over the Black Lake, with Hogwarts Castle in the foreground. Chiara lets Cato keep it as gratitude for his help, and tells him that Lupin gave it to her. The photo was taken by Lupin’s friend James Potter, both of whom were part of the Marauders during their years in school. Cato learns from Chiara that the message of the photo is “The morning will always come.” They immediately give each other a big hug, Cato still holding the photo in one hand. She remarks “This is for not giving up on me. Thank you, Cato!" He answers “Anything I can do for my friends. They’re like family to me.” Chiara then said “I’ll always be able to make it through even the darkest night, so long as I have the support of my friends.”

They were best friends after those events, and continued to be so well into adulthood. Eventually Cato would retire from the high-adventure lifestyle of curse-breaking, looking for a more stable job he enjoyed that could also support his wife Penny and their two sons. He was hired as a healer at St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Working with Penny and Chiara, Cato and they would often reminisce about their past adventures in school and as young adults. He continues to keep the photo Chiara gave him back in Hogwarts as a token of their friendship.

[charlietheepicwriter7]

When the Chips are Down

Chapter 12 - AO3

Marinette had long since accepted that, to prevent akumatization, she needed surefire ways to calm herself down. The risk of Hawkmoth’s victory was too high if she allowed herself to get too panicky, or too angry, or too scared—

But the average person couldn’t keep their cool all the time. It wasn’t feasible. And, Ladybug or not, Marinette was still an average girl.

The best method she found was the one-minute rule. All she had to do was allow herself to experience the full emotion for a minute, doing whatever came to mind to express the emotion—panicking, yelling, throwing her bag across the room—before wrapping the feeling up tight and forcing herself to relax.

So she only gave herself a minute to deal with Adrien Agreste. Fortunately, a minute was all she needed… and all he could handle.

********************************************************

Adrien flinched at her scorching tone, stepping back as she stepped forward to deal with him. “Marinette—”

“First of all, you don’t get to decide if someone has made Ladybug and Chat Noir’s lives harder. Last I checked, you are neither of them! Ladybug and Chat Noir have never complained about civilians, either the akumatized or anyone else; the only person they have on record complained about is Hawkmoth, which they have a solid right to do so.”

“W-Wait, Mari—”

“Secondly, it is never a civilian’s fault that someone got akumatized!” She jabbed a finger in Adrien’s face. She could feel Felix’s shock. “The only person at fault is Hawkmoth, so don’t you ever blame Felix for something that man caused!

“Third, even if people could be blamed for causing an akuma, there are far worse people you could put your blame on. Like, for example, Chloe, your childhood friend who has been involved with nearly all of our classmates akumatizations, and even some of their relatives.” Her grin was sharp. “So, it’s a good thing we don’t blame people for getting others akumatized, right Adrien?”

“Marinette, that’s not—”

“And finally—” She breathed deep and exhaled loudly, forcing out the rage along with it. “I am sick and tired of whatever this—” She gestured between the two boys—“is. You’re cousins, and sure, you don’t get along, I can understand that. I don’t like my cousins that much ether. But this? Your constant snipping, the regular assassination of Felix’s character…” She sighed and blinked away unshed tears. “It’s too much.”

“I haven’t been snipping at him!”

“It’s true, you don’t do it nearly as often as he does.” She glanced at Felix, who tried to look innocent. “And I tell him off for it. But you’re the one who said that if Felix lost something, it means he doesn’t care about it. You’re the one who said he makes Ladybug’s job harder. You start things, Adrien.”

“I don’t!” Adrien denied. “B-Besides, even if I did, you don’t know what he’s like when we’re alone. He’s cruel, Marinette.”

“Are you sure about that?” She challenged. “Because Adrien, Felix has been a lot better about his behavior recently. You haven’t seen it because you don’t bother spending time with him, but there’s no need to constantly defame him.”

“But he caused that akuma on the anniversary—”

“And that was a really mean thing to do, I understand that, Adrien.” She glared. “But whatever happened to the high road?”

He stepped back.

“Because based on your actions, either you think your own cousin isn’t worth the high road approach, or you never thought very highly of it to begin with.” She crossed her arms. “So which is it?”

He shot her a frustrated look. “Marinette, this isn’t about Felix. This is about you two conspiring to humiliate Lila!”

“Would you prefer she humiliate us instead?” Felix asked, mirroring her pose. He nodded at her. “Because that’s what Rossi tries to do. She makes up her little lies, she gets the class worked up into a frenzy, and points them at us. She wants your ‘good friend’ to be miserable, Adrien.”

“She just… wants friends. Hurting her isn’t going to change anything.”

“But coddling her is only going to make things worse.”

“She’s not hurting anyone.”

She shot Adrien a glare. “You can say that when you’re the one who’s losing their friends because of Lila. But I don’t want to hear a word from you until that happens.”

“Marinette, it’s just a misunderstanding!” Adrien said. “Look, Alya has been really worried about you since you started hanging out with Felix—”

“If Alya is worried, she can say it to me herself. Neither of us need you to interfere on our behalf.” If Alya had something to say, she could say it to Marinette’s face instead of ghosting her for the past month. Marinette hadn’t hear anything from her best friend, not even a request to help babysit or an order from the bakery.

“Marinette—” Adrien reached out to touch her, but she stepped away.

“I’m going home. Don’t you have to go home too?” Adrien winced and Marinette tried not to feel terrible about it. She turned away. “Bye, Adrien.”

“Marinette, wait—”

She left, Felix following her out of the school. Adrien tried to go with them, but his bodyguard caught him the moment he stepped out of school and took him back to Agreste mansion. Marinette caught Felix smirking as they watched Adrien drive away. A horrible, unrelenting ache opened up in her chest. “Well, I think you handled that quite well—”

“Felix? No offence, but I don’t really want to hear it right now.”

“Marinette?”

“I know you said something about celebrating before, but I’m not feeling good. I… Can you leave me alone? Just for a little bit?” Dark clouds swirled overhead, the threat of rain looming as Marinette casted her eyes to the heaven, then back down at Felix.

His expression was unreadable, but he nodded. “Very well. Would you like me to inform the school you’re sick? So you can stay home longer.”

“That’s really nice of you, Felix. Thank you.”

“Think nothing of it, Marinette.” He smiled, a rare treat on a face used to smirks. “I hope you feel better soon.”

“Yeah… I hope so too.”

Marinette went home, bypassing her parents, to her bedroom filled with reminders of Adrien. His photos were pasted to her walls, his schedule hanging from her ceiling, his presents in her chest. A single tear streaked down her cheek as another shard of heartbreak pierced her heart.

She felt a little hand on her arm. “Marinette?”

A sob caught in her throat as she savagely beat the emotion down. “Tikki—” Her voice the barest whisper—“I don’t want to live like this anymore.”

Because Adrien, the one she loved, was… against her. It was the only way she could describe it. He had looked at her side and looked at Lila’s and chosen to support a liar, but he thought she was the one in the wrong for… what? Fighting back? Having Felix on her side? She absently wondered if he would support her if she abandoned Felix, since he hates Felix so much, and cringed at the thought. Another example to add to the pile. How could she even consider abandoning a friend just to get Adrien to like her? Who does that?

Marinette does, apparently.

“I don’t like the person I am when I’m in love with Adrien,” she confessed, looking down at her kwami. “I don’t like how he becomes the center of my world. I don’t like how I compromise my morals to make him happy.” Because that’s why she tried to follow the high road: to make him happy. “I… I don’t want to love him anymore, Tikki.”

The kwami hugged her. “It’s okay. You don’t have to like anyone you don’t want to. You just need to let him go.”

The ache in her heart tripled. “How?” she gasped, crying more freely.

Tikki spent the rest of the afternoon guiding her. First, a meditation session to calm her down. Next, she and Tikki went through every present she planned to one day give Adrien, carefully unwrapped each one, and decided what to do with them. Marinette didn’t want them around the house—the memories of her intentions would still be there—so they planned to give them to a thrift store that weekend. She deleted her collage background on her computer. The schedule was then scrubbed clean, the sharpie coming off the laminated paper with hand sanitizer, and Marinette was forced to remember each and every thing she had done to get that information. She was almost crying again at the end, this time with shame.

Finally, the photos. She remembered the hours she’d spent pouring over magazines and the internet. Outside of the few group shots he was in, every picture she had of him was heavily photoshopped. She pulled them off the walls, one by one. This one has most of his smile, she thought, and this one didn’t change his face, but he looked so tired…

She didn’t know why she had these photos. It seemed rational at the time, but… a lot of things seemed rational when she was trying to make him like her. So she placed them in a prototype of her diary box and let Tikki hide it.

“Goodbye, Adrien.” The words were final, but seemed necessary. She couldn’t like him anymore, not if she wanted to stay alive.

The next morning, she woke up feeling like she’d been wrung out. For once she was on time, her mind too anxious to allow her to sleep long. She met Felix at the door to school.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked, leading her inside.

She hesitated. “…A bit. But I’ll get better soon. Tikki smiled encouragingly at her from inside her purse. “Did I miss anything?”

“Just another one of Rossi’s temper tantrums.” He rolled his eyes as they walked into the locker room. “Honestly, I have to wonder about her parents if that’s what she considers acceptable behavior. Anyway, I got your notes and—” His voice caught in his throat, cutting off with an inelegant croak as his eyes widened. Marinette followed his gaze and her mouth dropped open.

There was a small crowd surrounding her locker. Written on it in red spray paint was the word “Skank”. Marinette approached it, her mind disassociating and distant from what she was seeing, and opened it. Everything in it was coated in the same paint, ruining the few textbooks and decorations inside. She reached out and touched it. Stone dry.

“Someone get a teacher!” Felix’s furious voice broke her from her trance. He had never sounded angry before. His emerald eyes glinted as he glared at the crowd. “Which one of you did this!?” he demanded. “This is destruction of private property!” She could feel everyone staring at her. Did they think she deserved this? Did they pity her? Did they—

“M. Graham de Vanily, stop shouting.” Mme. Mendeleive was the teacher summoned. “Now, what exactly is going on here—” She stopped, seeing the damage done. Her lips thinned. “Marinette, are you okay?”

“I…” She tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come. “I don’t…”

“I think she’s in shock, Mme. Mendeleive,” Felix said.

Mme. Mendeleive nodded, concern clear on her face. “Take her to the nurses office. I’ll figure out what happened here.”

Felix was trying to usher her out of room when something clattered to the ground. A can of red spray paint rolled across the floor and bumped into her foot. Marinette picked it up; it was the same shade as the paint on her locker.

Alya, who at just opened her locker only for the can to fall out, stared at it in dread. “Marinette—” her eyes searched Marinette’s— “Girl, you know I didn’t—”

“Alya…?” Did Alya… did she do it…? Tears flowed. Why would she… And Marinette remembered yesterday, remembered making Alya fail, and gritted her teeth. “Alya, how could you?”

She flinched back, betrayal on her face. “Girl, you know me! I would never—I have never seen that can before in my life!”

And now she was lying to her!? Marinette turned away. “Save it, Alya.” Her voice hitched with a sob. She didn’t want to hear anything Alya had to say. She handed the can to Mme. Mendeleive and ran. 

Taglist: @graduatedmelon @novicevoice @dur55 @kris-pines04 @18-fandoms-unite-08 @moonlightstar64 @bee-a-garbage-shipper @sol-o-shade @kittyotakunoir666 @tinyterror333 @allieoftheenemy @marichat00 @xgxmxtx @two-faced-biatch @feliciakainzofspades @evil-cricket @emilytopaz @spicybelladonna @chocolateherringtacofan @user00000003 @wannajointhecrabcult @happymonster-pants @duquesapincarrasca @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen

[girlactionfigure]

There is a popular quote that circulates every once in a while that reads “One person can make a difference and everyone should try.”

This individual holds a special place in my heart and also the hearts of many long-time Peace Page followers, who found this page after reading a simple story which mentioned her and which became one of the most popular posts on the Peace Page. Her name is Harriet Glickman, she is the teacher who decided to write a letter to Charles Schulz and ask him if he could create a black character on his Peanuts comic strip - that character would become Franklin, one of the first black characters in a popular comic strip. Harriet Glickman passed away Friday morning, March 27, 2020, at her home in Sherman Oaks. She was 93. Her passing was reported by a Peanuts-based website, which quoted a personal friend who said, her passing was "peaceful, in her sleep" and that the former schoolteacher had been "well prepared for this." They say representation matters, and Franklin, even though he was a fictional character, was noticed by many who did not feel they were being represented enough during those days. The original Peace Page post started: "On July 31, 1968, a young, black man was reading the newspaper when he saw something that he had never seen before. With tears in his eyes, he started running and screaming throughout the house, calling for his mom. He would show his mom, and, she would gasp, seeing something she thought she would never see in her lifetime. Throughout the nation, there were similar reactions. "What they saw was Franklin Armstrong's first appearance on the iconic comic strip "Peanuts." Although Charles Schulz deserves the accolades and credit for having the courage to create Franklin and standing by him when he started receiving racist demands to remove him, it was all started by a school teacher who decided to write a simple letter. "Harriet has a very interesting place in history," according to The LAist. "In 1968, she wrote to 'Peanuts' creator Charles Schulz asking him to do something remarkable at the time: integrate his famous comic strip." "Harriet Glickman was a white, 42-year-old suburban Los Angeles school teacher and mother raising three children when Martin Luther King was assassinated in 1968," according to the Press Telegram. According to NPR, she wrote, “Since the death of Martin Luther King, 'I’ve been asking myself what I can do to help change those conditions in our society which led to the assassination and which contribute to the vast sea of misunderstanding, hate, fear and violence.'” Glickman decided to write a letter to Schulz, not knowing whether he would actually read it or even whether he would receive the letter. Glickman was especially aware of the power of comics among the young. “And my feeling at the time was that I realized that black kids and white kids never saw themselves [depicted] together in the classroom,” she said in the Washington Post. She hoped this would bring the country together and show people of color that they are not excluded from American society. At the time, Schulz, the creator of the enormously popular “Peanuts” comic strip, was already being "published in hundreds of newspapers around the United States reaching nearly 100 million readers," according to the Press Telegram. Surprisingly, Schulz did respond, but wasn't sure whether it would be right, coming from him, he didn't want to make matters worse, he felt that it may sound condescending to people of color. Glickman persisted, however, continuing her correspondence with Schulz, even having black friends write to Schulz and explain to him what it would mean to them. She told Schulz that "the gentleness of the [Peanuts would be] 'the perfect setting' for such representation," according to CBR. “I am well aware of the very long and tortuous road ahead,” she added. “I’m sure one doesn’t make radical changes in so important an institution without a lot of shock waves from syndicates, clients, etc. You have, however, a stature and reputation which can withstand a great deal.” This conversation would continue until one day, Schulz told Glickman to check her newspaper on July 31, 1968. On that date, the cartoon, as created by Schulz, shows Charlie Brown meeting a new character, named Franklin. Other than his color, Franklin was just an ordinary kid who befriends and helps Charlie Brown. In a speech at American University of Health Sciences in Signal Hill, California in 2018, talking to a group of children and adults, Glickman said, the 1960s in the United States was “a time long before any of you were born, a time when not everyone was understanding of other people, when young African Americans couldn’t go to the same beach as white children and when schools were separate.” According to the Press Telegram, the Rev. Gregory Johnson, co-founder of American University of Health Sciences who invited Glickman to the event, said he wanted her to know what a profound effect her action with Schulz had on him. “I appreciate so much what you did in improving relations. I wouldn’t be here without you,” he said. Glickman was born in Sioux City, Iowa, and lived in Chicago before moving to Southern California and a job in the Burbank School District and eventually UCLA before retiring. Glickman explained in previous interviews that her parents were "concerned about others, and the values that they instilled in us about caring for and appreciating everyone of all colors and backgrounds — this is what we knew when we were growing up, that you cared about other people . . . And so, during the years, we were very aware of the issues of racism and civil rights in this country [when] black people had to sit at the back of the bus, black people couldn’t sit in the same seats in the restaurants that you could sit . . . Every day I would see, or read, about black children trying to get into school and seeing crowds of white people standing around spitting at them or yelling at them . . . and the beatings and the dogs and the hosings and the courage of so many people in that time." Glickman, according to The LAist, said someone once commented to her that "‘It took courage [to do what she did, to make a stand].’ I said, ’No it didn’t, it didn’t take courage for me to sit in Sherman Oaks in my comfortable home with my three children and type a letter.'" "Courage," she said, "was little Ruby Bridges, the little girl who integrated a school in the south who had to come with the National Guard with people spitting at her and yelling at her and throwing things at her and the parents who drew their children out. That was courage." Because of Glickman, because of Schulz, people around the world were introduced to a little boy named Franklin, and even today, when Franklin is mentioned, fond memories are evoked, such as those like the young, black man, who with tears in his eyes, started running and screaming throughout the house because he was introduced to Franklin for the first time. Barbara Brandon-Croft, the first African American woman to have a nationally syndicated comic strip in the mainstream press, was 10 years old in 1968, said, “I remember feeling affirmed by seeing Franklin in ‘Peanuts.’ ‘There’s a little black kid! Thank goodness! We do matter.’" When the Peace Page first shared its story about Franklin's birth, one Peace Page reader commented, "I normally don't comment on Facebook but I feel compelled to now. As a black child growing up in the 70's and 80's U grew up in mostly white neighborhoods. One of the most difficult things at that time is my sense of where I belonged in the world. I didn't have anybody in my position i could relate to on TV or in the movies. Then I started reading Peanut cartoons and I met Franklin and I saw myself for once. As a character, Franklin was so important to me I named my third son after him. thank you . . . for helping me find my place." That Peace Page story has now reached 22,498,877 people, receiving 2,091,450 reactions. It has inspired an Upworthy article and has been shared all over the world, including by media companies in Australia and Italy. When the Peace Page contacted the Charles M. Schulz Museum in Santa Rosa, California, one of the representatives said that Glickman regularly visited the museum and she was fondly called "Franklin's Mom." When she saw that Peace Page post, she commented on the Peace Page, "It's always a joy for me to share the Franklin story. I consider him my fourth child and he is very much loved." In the speech in 2018 at American University of Health Sciences, she told the audience that it still “feels like yesterday [when Franklin was introduced].” She said some things have changed, but others have not. “We still have so many problems on how we see each other,” she said in an article by the Press Telegram. She told the children: “You can make a difference in making the world a better place. When you see something that makes you feel angry or upset, don’t just complain, do something about it. And remember that we all care for each other; we’re all the same loving, caring people.” She then autographed a book introducing Franklin to Charlie Brown, “Nice to Meet You, Franklin!” and urged each youngster “to make a difference.” Thank you, Harriet Glickman, also, for making a difference and making the world a better place. [Photo courtesy of CBR]

The Jon S. Randal Peace Page

[secret-rendezvous1d]

“i need a hug”

hello, hi!

i definitely don’t think this is a one-off thing anymore and this blog may be on the way to merging into a harry styles + matthew gray gubler blog so i’d like to think that that is a new exciting venture people will . i’m really enjoying writing about a new scene, a new character and a new life to plan out and write about. the stories don’t essentially follow each other so they can be read anyhow and in any way but i’d like to think they all follow the same storyline/timeline so they link in that way.

like, reblog and give me some feedback. it’s greatly appreciated and it helps me work out what you want to see and what you are after. 

thank you. enjoy.

-

“i need a hug” spencer reid x female reader (reader insert imagine) word count; 1.7k.

summary; eventually, the emotions of working a case gets to yn and she needs an escape after a briefing in the form of her boyfriend, spencer.

-

There are moments in YN’s job as a secondary communications liaison that she loves.

She got to work alongside a team of agents who were funny and smart and trusting and kept her safe in situations out in the field and they brightened her mood whenever she felt a little down in the dumps from a long day, especially a case that was vigorous and vicious in its attacks; she got to work with a woman, who was a mother to the sweetest little boy she’d ever graced and held and loved in her life, who shared the same emotions as her when they read through case file after case file and took in some of the most heart-wrenching information from an unsub’s killing; she got to work in an office with her boyfriend, sitting opposite him as he worked on his reports or involuntarily played a game of Chess with whoever walked passed and saw a potential move, sharing secret glances and meeting in the kitchenette for a cuddle before work and Hotch had them back to their desks in a rush.

She loved her job and she loved what she did in the field.

Knowing she was saving lives and saving a town from a sadistic killer, protecting people from another unsolicited attack on the vulnerable and the innocent, putting someone behind bars because they deserved it. Feeling the sense of euphoria washing over her every time she managed to catch a killer, hairs raising when they finally admitted to what they’d done for years without ever getting caught, ending someone’s narcissistic trait because they could no longer show the ego they’d been growing by thinking they were subtle enough to hide from their crimes. The looks on the faces of the known unsub, when she bashed out fact after fact that they’d worked out by not only fishing on his background but by the evidence and the profile they gave to themselves with how and who they killed, made her feel proud to catch them; they could no longer do what they long to achieve.

But there were some moments of her job that she hated.

Having to read about the brutal killings of women her age or women who were tortured before they died was enough to have her head reeling in all kinds of situations and possibilities of it still happening somewhere in the world because they’d yet to find another serial killer to arrest, because these women had no safety in their death and they were tortured long before the incessant torturing came to an end; having to read over and see crime-scene pictures of innocent children and teenagers who had died in the crossfire of a criminal’s poor psychological behaviour, where they never thought about the consequences, and never had an inch of remorse or sympathy running through their veins because they were never given the love and the compassion from a parent as they grew older; having to read such heartbreaking backstories on why someone had turned from the purest of children to such a evil person who forced a vendetta upon anyone that passed them or did them wrong and learning that broken families weren’t always so well worked out.

“You can show emotion on the job, you know? You don’t have to hide behind a coffee cup,” Spencer suggested, standing beside YN as she leaned against the kitchenette counter, a warm mug of steaming coffee in her hands and held to her lips as if she were taking a lengthy sip. Partly so the rim could cover her eyes, because she was sure tears would escape any given minute, and partly so she could keep her hands warm on the chilly day it was outside. He followed her as soon as she left the briefing room, a wave of concern swallowing him as he watched her rush down the stairs and disappear, a finger swiping her cheek that she assumed went ignored. “You don’t think I’ve seen any of the team shed a tear over something brutal?”

“Rule number one, Spence; no crying on the job. Hotch’s suggestion,” she hummed, looking in the direction of the briefing room and seeing everyone packing up their belongings from the table and carrying their own case files under their arms as they walked back to their desks to prep for whenever the wheels were due up on the jet, “it never gets any easier, no matter how many times I give those briefings and read the notes and see the photos.”

By it, he assumed, was coming into a room full of people who were waiting for what next dreadful thing had come their way and having to speak about a murder that she had to think about, in depth, in order to gain some understanding as to what direction she needed to take the briefing into, so she could explain exactly what they were expecting to do upon their arrival to the scene, reliving the killings in her head like it was something she saw with her own eyes. That, alone, was enough to drive someone off a job that they loved if it was something they had to speak about on a daily basis, thinking about death as soon as they stepped foot out of their front door in the morning.

“Kids, Spencer. I can just about cope with the cases on murdered prostitutes and the drug addicts and the sex workers but kids,” she sighed in diselief and looked at him with forlorn eyes and felt her bottom lip quiver behind the white ceramic resting against her mouth, “there are children going missing every day and there’s someone doing that to them. A grown adult. Someone walks the street with the purpose of taking children from their families like they could treat them any better.”

Spencer ignored all protocol of ‘romance in the workplace’ and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close to his side and nuzzling his nose into her hairline, the baby hairs growing beneath her fringe tickling her nostrils but the smell of her shampoo made it all the much better; strawberry-scented and sweet and it smelt like home. Home was the smell of strawberry, the presence of his girlfriend and a bubble that only they were in. His palm resting on the curve of her shoulder, fingers rubbing up and down on the bare skin of her upper arm showing from the short-sleeved blouse she wore to work that day, lips pressed against her temple in a reassuring manner. He could feel the eyes of Prentiss and JJ watching them, no doubt cooing and guffawing over the sweet sight they rarely saw, but he chose to ignore them and instead let his cheeks flush a hot pink. Let them stare; he felt content and that’s all that mattered in the moment.

“Working a case and having a good outcome is great. To see that child when we solve the case, albeit seeing them beaten and dirty and naivety, it feels amazing to know they’re reunited with those who vow to keep them safe from that moment on and who never stopped looking for them, not an inch of hope given up,” YN sighed, tilting her head to the touch of his lips and closing her eyes, content with the bubble they’d blown around themselves in that moment, his eyes soft and scanning her features, “I don’t know how you throw yourself into it and not struggle with the aftermath or the before of it all.”

The silence lingered in the kitchenette and, even though there was a sense of being watched, neither of them cared. One day or another, Spencer knew there would be a specific case that tore his girlfriend to the ground and made her show her true feelings towards something she was expected to work on, a case that made her struggle to contain her emotions and that one day had come, much quicker than he expected but he knew it was . All he needed to do was reassure her that, no matter what happens, they’d do the best they can in situations that should have them panicked.

“I question that myself sometimes,” he admitted. Inhaling deeply, he got a proper scent of the coffee wafting from the cup still held into her hands, before he breathed out a sigh and felt a little weight lift from his shoulders. “You’ll be okay. You help us out more than you think you do in cases that mean a lot more to you.”

“Do I?”

“Of course,” he craned his body away from her so he could look down and give her the sweetest, warmest smile he could muster up, “I always feel so proud of you when you give us a huge lead over something we missed. Especially the leads that take us to the right place. They call me the genius but you,” he tapped her on the nose with his index finger and grinned, “you can be the genius better than me sometimes.”

She blushed and looked down at the milky contents of her coffee, the steam hitting her face and adding the heat of her face, a sheepish smile permanent on her lips that she tried to hide as she took a sip and swallowed the hot liquid and allowed it to burn her throat. Burning in a warming way rather than just to hurt herself.

“C’mon, wheels for the jet go up in thirty. I need to pack my desk up and you need to grab your go-bag,” he reminded her, pulling away from her and removing his arm from around her shoulders, taking a step towards the doorway and turning his back to her, “try not to let the briefing bother you until we touch ground. We’re not there yet so we can’t base any confirmations for anything on anything.”

He could hear her chug the rest of the coffee from her mug, shaking his head in disbelief because now she was bound to be bouncing off the walls in a tight-spaced jet for over an hour, making a mental note to keep her off the coffee on the plane and to have her drinking water. His hand touched the door handle and, as he pushed his weight down to open the door, she spoke up and gathered his attention.

“I need a hug,” she said before he left the room, Spencer spinning around on his heels to look at her, a coffee-stained mustache clinging to her upper lip that her tongue peeked out to collect and a bright spark behind her eyes, “before we get plunged into work and we can’t show romance or anything, I just- I need a hug.”

[vanillann]

the museum of heartbreak (spencer reid x f.reader)

this is based off the book “the museum of heartbreak” by meg leder

word count: 2.3k

a weirdly shaped bobby pin

Spencer sat at his desk, Penelope stood beside it with a cup of coffee talking about her new partner coming in today.

“I know I’m supposed to be training her, but do you think if I told her she was going to be my best friend in the whole world she'd get scared?”

Pen stirred her coffee while she rambled you Spencer. He gave the women a sincere look. 

The sound of the door opening and closing cut the two off, looking over to see a woman.

She had her arms crossed and her eyes wandered around the large bullpen.

Once they landed on Penelope, she gave a soft smile and walked to the two.

“Hi, are you Ms. Garcia?”

Penelope sat the large pink mug on Reid's desk, turning fully to look at the women.

“Call me Penelope,” the woman went to stick out a hand, but Penelope grabbed both her shoulders and pulled her into a large hug. 

Spencer chuckled at the woman's face, she looked alarmed to say the least.

Once the blonde let go, she turned to Spencer.

“Meet Doctor Spencer Reid, he likes to eat lunch in our office so you will see him a lot.”

Spencer gave a shy wave, the women easily returning it.

“Hi, I’m (Y/N) (L/N).”

Before the two could exchange words, Penelope grabbed her arm and rushed her into her office.

Spencer watched the two walk away, to the tech office.

“Who was that?”

Derek clapped a simple hand on Reid's shoulder, looking down at the doctor.

“The new tech analysis,” Spencer turned to look up at his friend.

“She looks youngish.”

“Youngish isn’t a word and she graduated a year early from what Garcia said.

Derek nodded, taking a sip from his mug.

“You should go help her figure the place out.”

Spencer looked over at Derek, a crease forming between his eyebrow.

“Penelope is probably going to do it.”

“Her and I are about to pick up lunch for everyone, she promised she’d go with me this time.”

Almost like it was planned, Pen came running around the corner, purse in hand.

“Ready chocolate thunder?”

“Coming baby girl.”

Derek patted Spencer's shoulder, falling the tall woman to the elevator.

Spencer waited until the elevator completely closed, not wanting to give Derek something to tease him about.

He shoved both hands in his pocket, walking through the class door to the “BatCave” as Garcia once called it.

Once he got closed, the sound of metal jiggling and groans were heard from the small room.

Spencer peaked through the small gap in the door, walking (Y/N) sitting on the floor in front of her desk.

She had one eye closed and her tongue sticking out the side of her mouth.

He gently pushed open the door, watching the women play with the lock on one of the cabinets in her desk.

Suddenly the women looked up, giving him a wide eye look.

“I swear I’m not doing something illegal.”

Spence only chuckled, playing with the fabric in his pocket.

“I’ve heard that one before.”

She smiled, pulling her legs up to his chin slightly.

“Penelope gave me a copy of the teams personal files and told me to keep them safe, but she didn’t give me the key to my desk,” she pulled what looked to be a bobby pin from the lock.

The bobby pin was twisted and bent in odd ways, obviously being through something.

Spencer only smiled, pulling the bobby pin from her fingers and squatted beside her.

He easily placed the bobby pin in the lock, turning it twice and pulling the cabinet open.

A loud gasp was heard from beside him, the same wide eyes from earlier were back.

“You’re a genius.”

Spencer smirked as he looked over at the women.

“I know.”

an empty bag of skittles

The sight of the two kids smiling faces had Spencer feeling sick.

The kids had been gone for 27 hours, over the 24 hour span. The team knew they were dead, but nobody dare say it out loud.

“We are missing something, why do we have to be missing something,” Rossi mumbled under his breath.

Suddenly the conference room door swung open, a bewildered (Y/N) stood in the door with a stack of papers in one hand and a bag of skittles in the other

“So I was doing a background search on the extended family with Pen, and I didn’t find much,” she ran over to the large table, a picture of the two missing kids with an older woman.

“I was wandering on an old Facebook page when I found this photo, but the woman wasn’t on any record.”

The woman stood with her arms around both children, squatting to be at their height.

She held a balloon with the number 6 on it, a small birthday hat sat in her head.

“I found her in the system, Kallie Gray, she’s their birth mother sister.”

“You think it’s her?” Hotch asked, a small bit of hope in his voice.

“Yes.”

(Y/N) threw her arms out, a handful of skittles flying from the bag.

Spencer watched a few hit his chest, but paired no mind as he listened to the girl intensely.

This was the first time Spencer really heard her go on about something, since she’d only been at the BAU for a week.

“Here the address.” She handed Hotch a piece of paper, which he read and passed to Rossi.

“Spencer and JJ, saying here for the parents, I don’t think she would hurt the kids.”

Spencer nodded while JJ excused herself, going out to call the parents.

“The rest of us, let’s go.”

The rest stormed out the door, serious looks on all their faces.

Once the door closed, the new tech analysis collapsed into a nearby chair.

She took a handful of skittles, throwing them into her mouth.

She looked up at Spencer, an exhausted look at her face.

“Skittle?”

She took her hand, moving it from her chest to the shape between them.

Spencer took the seat beside her, turning to look at her.

He took one single skittle and threw it in his mouth.

“You did good today,” Spencer walked her looked at the glass wall, watching the busy room below.

“It’s because of the skittles,” she simply shrugged.

“Or because you belong here, because this is what you are good at.”

She only looked over at him and smiled.

“You’re nice, I’ll share my skittles with you anytime.”

a unopened hello kitty bandaid

The team let out large breaths of air as they walked back into the bullpen. Everyone smiled as they looked up, seeing the younger tech analysis sitting on top of Spencer desk.

Spencer smiled, walking over to the girl as she read one of his books.

“Spencer you need better taste in-” she cut herself off as she looked up.

Spencer watched as she reached up and touched his cheek. If it wasn’t for the pain of the small cut, his cheek would probably be on fire.

“A piece of glass got me, it’s nothing.”

The girl said nothing and she got off his desk and grabbed his hand, pulling him through the halls into Pen and her shared office.

She pulled him into the room and gently pushed him into her soft chair.

She pulled out a small box from behind her computer, the sight of pink and hello kitty made Spencer laugh.

“You could get the average bandaid, you know.”

She rolled her eyes, pulling one from the box and opening it.

She pulled herself closer to him, Spencer held his breath. The way her tongue stuck out the side of her lips had him melting in his seat.

She placed the bandage gently on his cheek, a little smile formed once it was on all the way.

She didn’t move, she stayed where she stood watching Spencer. In that moment he was so happy she wasn’t a profiler, because the way he was watching her she would have known about the crush he had been developing.

“Did you know bandaid were invented in 1920 by Earle Dickson.”

Spencer wanted to beat his head on the table, this wasn’t the time for facts about band aids.

She blinked quickly, pulling back and grabbing a few extra bandaids. She grabbed his arm and opened his left hand, placing three hello kitty bandaids in his hand.

“My band aids are better than an average bandaid.”

a blue dog collar

Halloween had come, and to say Spencer was excited was an understate.

The BAU was covered in cobwebs and fake jack-o-lanterns, a small table of finger foods sat on a table.

Penelope and (Y/N) had convinced Hotch to throw an office party if they didn't get a case on Halloween, which made Spencer almost cry with joy when nothing came in.

He stood talking with JJ, who was dressed as a princess, and Emily, who was dressed as catwoman.

He stood with a large pair of khakis and a large green shirt (Y/N) bought just for this costume.

Suddenly Spencer 's eyes were covered, the sweet sound of said voice had a small smile come over his face.

“Woof,” Spencer moved her hands and turned around, seeing her smiling face with two large brown dog ears on top of her head.

She smiled up at him and held up a large blue dog collar.

“I was going to put it on but it hurts, hold onto it for me?”

Spencer only nodded and took the collar from her, shoving it in his pocket.

“Thank ya Shaggy,” she gave a dramatic wink and finger gun as she backed over to the drink table.

“Okay Reid, what’s going on there,” JJ gave her friend and serious look.

Emily put a hand on her hip and gave the same look, a smirk on her face.

“She’s my best friend.”

Reid shrugged, looking down into his cup of punch. The sad smile started forming across his face.

“She’s seeing someone.”

Without another word from the two women, they moved him into one large big group hug.

a broken piece of a starry night mug

Spencer walked into the break room, an empty mug in his hand.

(Y/N) stood with her back to him, and a large smile played across his face.

“Happy one year of working at the BAU.”

He walked behind her, throwing an arm over her shoulder.

She only nodded, not even looking up at Spencer. He felt his heart shatter, his world felt crushed.

“What’s up with you?

“I ended it.”

Spencer didn’t want to admit it, but he felt like the lights in the break room were brighter and the kick in his step felt lighter.

“What happened?”

“I didn’t love him, I just wanted to get over someone else,” she turned to look up at Spencer.

Her elbow swung into the microwave, causing the starry night mug she held in her hand to tumble to the ground.

Spencer jumped into action, getting on his knees to pick up the pieces.

She followed after him, a small little laugh fell from her lips with a soft ‘sorry’.

“Can I come to your place tonight?”

Spencer looked over at her, her soft feature made him forget how to speak. HE simply nodded his head and he took the broken piece of the mug from her hand.

He walked to the trash can, throwing all but one piece away.

Welcome to the Museum of Heartbreak

Spencer taped the small piece of paper with the words on his apartment door, a  nervous smile on his face.

We walked back into his place, the random white Christmas lights hung from his ceiling. In front of each item was a card with the object name and the date of the event.

Suddenly a loud knock ripped through his thoughts, without thinking he jumped behind the objects and yelled a come in.

The door opened, (Y/N) face came around the door. Her eyebrows knitted together as she closed the door, looking up at Spencer than the objects on the floor.

A small laugh fell past her lips and she looked down at the object, her hand coming to cover her mouth.

“Spencer,” she looked back up at him. He held up a single finger, quickly clearing his throat, reciting the speech he prepared.

“I know you are heartbroken right now, I’m sorry about that truly, but I’m not sorry about being in love with you for 323 days.”

A small sigh left her lips, her hand coming to rest over her heart.

“The day you told me about that date, you broke my heart. Today after you told me it was over, you fixed it.”

He stepped over the objects, a small smirk on his face by the amazed look in your eye.

“I learned that life breaks your heart, a lot. I also learned that it sends people to fix it.”

He walked over and grabbed the woman's hand, the same hand he’d want to grab for the rest of his life.

“Everything in this room was a small way you fixed me, because it all leads back to you. It will always lead back to you. Dopamine-”

Spencer was cut off, the soft feeling of lips upon his made his head spin.

He moved the hand that sat in his pocket to move around the back of her head, the other around her shoulder.

Their teeth clashed from the large smile on both their faces, the hot air moved across both their faces.

She slowly pulled away from him, watching him with a goofy smile.

“I like this museum.”

[mirismuffins-ovo]

Plant palace pt 7🌿

[background: the plant based girls John has age twice as fast as a human,John ran off to go raise them at an abnormal camp his mother leads. He’s been gone two years and working as part of the abnormal rebellion and rights activist.] [this is also where I’ve decided I’d rewrite some stuff in the future,but I’ll let you guys read the first part of this before I work through it again] [first part is kinda narrative]

John's heart hurt to leave the man he loved,he wanted to raise these small little babies with Eddie but things went sideways. John and Henry stopped by the house grabbing supplies and raising the babies there for a while,until they were tracked down by the government. Escaping to a hideaway,a camp where abnormals were safe and rebelled trying to fix the outrageous laws of America. As time went on the rights of Abnormals had gotten better,after riots and protests. John raises his little girls alongside his mom. She’d become an important person in his life more than ever,helping with the babies. The little ones blooming with gorgeous pink petals and hair,John letting his own flower like features grow too. John had freed and protected abnormals with his mother, learning more control over his abilities and discovering new things he never knew he could do. Abnormals had finally gained some rights in some more progressive states,no longer needing to hide in some states. The girls were (2) 4 years old now,he’d kept up with Eddie's online following and career, proud of him for taking off. John would listen to Eddie's album Greenhouse,he recognized the song Eddie sang when they first found out about the babies,it was the most popular one. John would always tell his little girls about their dad,showing them photos of him performing. He missed him and to the point it hurt. John's family could recognize that,and John discussed that he should finally go back. It was time for John to come back home.

Now Eddie.

2 years. It has been 2 years since John has left. In the beginning, he was questioned by the government but he gave half truth answers. Yes he was with John. No he didn’t know he was an Abnormal, thinking his boyfriend was able to have kids. No the kids weren’t his, John was already pregnant when they really got official. But because they weren’t giving him the answer, he was held for 6 months for harboring an Abnormal before being let go.

After that, he explained everything to his band and how this album was going to be it. He didn’t want to make music after. They supported his decision but helped him finish the album. He had songs named after the girls, after his time at Plant Palace, the short months he was with John. Be saved the best for last. The last song on the album, which he named “Greenhouse” was called “Eden.” It was an Ode to John, thinking that no one would even get to the end of the album.

But instead people found out and it reached #1 on the charts for a solid year. He was able to go to concerts which sparked his love for music again, but he couldn’t listen to the album himself. He refused to. He would play other music in his earbuds when he was in public in case Eden came on.

He ended up moving further into the city now that he made good money off his record sales and a couple of EPs. Bitty came along with him, the cat too sweet to part with and he had a feeling John would want him to watch her. The anger he first felt after discovering John ran had faded away and he accepted it. The younger man did talk about trying to find his people to help raise the girls, but Eddie wanted to do that. He wanted to be the cool dad.

Life moved on. Eddie moved on, but still held a special spot for John, if he ever got to see him again. He even picked up a new kitty who he named Leafy. Bitty was happy to get a cute little brother and it kept her occupied. Eddie was happy.

*****

Eddie yawned as he started to make his way home from another band practice. He and his band got the idea to write themselves each a song that they could relate to in the future. They might not make sense now, but they should when they’re older and split apart. It was late and all he wanted to do was hop in the shower, order some take out and pass out with the kitties on his lap.

While on his way home, he felt a tingle down his spine. Although it was night time, and he was walking alone, it was odd that someone might jump him, or it was local paparazzi following him to see if he had a special someone since his female fans were dying to know. So he stopped and waited for the heavy footsteps to stop.

“I’ll give you 5 seconds to turn around before I face you and deck you. I’m not in the mood for interviews or dealing with your shit.” He grumbled. He wasn’t the happy-go-lucky young band member anymore, he was a man with heartache.

There wasn’t a sound behind him, signaling the person to walk off or speak up. Eddie turned around, preparing for a recorder shoved into his face when his entire world stopped.

John stood there,he hadn’t heard Eddie's voice in a long time,at least when he wasn’t singing. His voice sounded tired and moody but it didn’t change how he felt when Eddie turned around. John had his hood up but he took it off when Eddie turned to face him. A shy half smile on the smaller man's face as he stood a few feet back from the singer. “Hey Eds…” John's hair was a little longer than before,not by much but it was longer;John looked pale,tired like an overworked parent but the energy about him was slightly different.He slowly approached Eddie hesitantly taking a step forward,he didn’t know what he should say. There was so much to apologize for,him running off with the babies not even a thing as a text and gone for two years. “It’s been a while...but since when did you cuss?” John tried to clear the air with teasing as he combed his fingers through his hair. His gaze flicking between staring at Eddie and at the ground attempting to hide the tears that glazed his eyes. Johns soft voice trembled the entire time.

Eddie felt like he died when he saw John.The anger he thought that went away was back. He clenched his fist and just looked at the younger man in front of him. He wanted to shout, scream, and yell, but instead he just turned around, continuing to walk to his house. He could hear the footsteps follow him as he got closer to his house only for him to stop again.

“I promised I’d be there…” He spoke, his voice getting ready to break. “But you went and broke that promise for me.” He turned to face John, tears falling, and screaming, letting his emotions loose. “You took my fucking kids! You ran from me instead of facing this together!”

John had expected something like this but it still made his insides shake. John couldn’t help but erupt with tears and watched the man in front of him go off.

“You think I wanted to leave you?...WATCH YOU FROM A DISTANCE?!?” His voice had turned into a yell,John never raised his voice.

“What do you think would’ve happened if I stayed there waiting, Eddie? The hospital called the government on me,they would’ve taken our girls! Would you rather me and the girls in a facility being experimented on?! Getting tortured?” He sighed frustrated still crying “I’ve counted the days..you don’t think I talk about you to them,do you think I haven’t listened to your album about our kids every day??”

He wiped his face shaking and turned to look away. “I get it..okay...I’m so sorry I left,but I warned you Eddie. I told you that it was dangerous and when I tried to contact you I found out you were detained for ‘harboring an abnormal’.” John took out a photo,it was a Polaroid. It showed the babies who’d begun to bloom their flowers.John was holding them in his lap,they were toddlers now and all dressed up,his mother was standing next to him holding one of the toddlers. He held it to Eddie “here..”

“I told you I would fight tooth and nail for them! I was so ready to take your place in a facility for your freedom.” Eddie was crying too.

Eddie wanted to argue more, but John silenced him by handing over the picture. It was a photo of John holding all three of the girls, and a larger woman behind them. He laughed quietly, so happy to see them and how big they had gotten.

“Why now? Why did you come back. When I saw that you left, I figured you’d be gone forever.”

John sighed staring at the cement “the governor passed a law here that abnormals living in human city’s are no longer illegal. That and...I missed you.” He glimpsed at Eddie,John's eyes looked tired. “They’d caught up to me last year and I was held in a facility for two months,my mom and Henry took care of the little ones... I broke out with the help of some other abnormals.” He crossed his arms and wiped away some more tears. John felt bad he’d not been there for Eddie. “I would’ve come back sooner if I could Eds,and I know you're mad but you have to know I didn’t leave willingly.The girls ask all the time when they can see they can see their-…you” John sighed fearing Eddie wouldn’t want to rekindle their relationship. He dreaded he wouldn’t want to see their daughters.

Eddie was surprised at all the new information, but also wasn’t. He heard about Abnormals allowed to live among humans, but there was still no law about living with them or loving them. He kind of rolled his eyes at that.

“So you’re a fugitive?”

John stayed silent.

Eddie sighed. “Look, as much as I would love to see our daughters, I can’t just easily accept you into my life again. You broke my heart and how will I know if you won’t do it again? Maybe the world was right that we, Abbies and Humans, aren’t meant to cohabitate with each other.” Eddie sniffled, taking his jacket and rubbing his eyes.

John looked like he was about to say something but Eddie held up a hand.

“Not tonight… I need time…” He turned to continue walking to his apartment.

Once inside, Bitty and Leafy greeted him with happy meows, but Bitty knew. She knew that her cat dad was near Eddie. He closed the door, set his guitar aside and leaned against the door, sliding down to the floor. He held his head in his hands and let the tears fall.

[dennyvong]

Blog Post #4 Due 9/16

Q1: Why do names have an impact on our lives?

When we are brought into this world, we are given names by our parents. These name have meaning to them within families such as being named after your great grandfather Charles who fought in WW2. In society these names also play a role in our lives and depending on what name your were given. For example Benjamin states “ “Alice Tang” comes from a family that values education and is expected to do well in math and science. “Tyrone Jackson” hails from a neighborhood where survival trumps scholastics; and he is expected to excel in sports.” The names given to us already give you a set role once you are born. Certain name can have social status affiliated with it giving them privileges while some can have have no meaning at all. it is almost as animals are labeled in a farm, One cow may provide more than the others and thus that cow is more valuable and place in high regard. These are what Benjamin refers to as “the new Jim Crow Codes” in “Race after Technology”. Even in names we are objectified and racially stereotyped. This type of misunderstanding leads to many not getting hired or placed on a watch list because their name is affiliated with racial stereotype.   

Q2: How do the online algorithms affect the way we view POCs?

Today’s society is still facing issues such as racial algorithms online, however it gotten a much more better than it was in the past. The way people get their information is still the same as the past, however we are being more and more reliant on getting our information from technology. With that in mind, children, teens or anybody who is most vulnerable to believing what they are told get all their information from the web and with racial algorithms still lurking around this can really affect the way they view POCs. For example, Noble explains “In just a few minutes while searching on the web, I experienced the perfect storm of insult and injury that I could not turn away from. While Googling things on the Internet that might be interesting to my stepdaughter and nieces, I was overtaken by the results. My search on the keywords “black girls” yielded HotBlackPussy.com as the first hit.” If Noble was not the one to pull this up but it was her daughters, interested in “what black girls do” or whatever it maybe, this would not only be blinding as a child but it can make them believe that their role in the future is to be a “pornstar”. This is just one example of many, another example maybe when you search up Asians and it may say “sweatshop workers” or Mexicans saying “beaners”, anybody could believe what the online algorithm tells them and will address Asians and Mexican as what they found on the web. 

Q3: How has google “fixed” it prior issues in the past with its online algorithms?

Google, the web browser that many today use to browse for anything, had issues in the past. Some of these issues were it’s absurd online algorithms, this is not to say the algorithms now are great either but in the past they racially discriminated against POCs as Noble states “The first problem for Google was that its photo application had automatically tagged African Americans as "apes” and "animals.” The second major issue reported by the Post was that Google Maps searches on the word "N*gger” led to a map of the White House during Obama’s presideney, a story that went viral on the Internet after the social media personality Deray McKesson tweeted it.” In the article Noble further explains that Google took down an image labeling Michelle Obama as an “ape” and also took down the slurred White House search. 

Q4: What are some ways we can spread the awareness of Intersectionality?

Before answering that question, we need to understand just what is “Intersectionality”? Well, Intersectionality is the combined discrimination involving race and gender as explained by Kimberlé Crenshaw. For example, a case involving intersectionality as it problem would go like a African American women trying to get a job at a restaurant but is denied the job while an African American male and white woman are hired one after the other. It almost seems like there is nothing wrong with the situation and everything looks quite normal until you pay attention closely. This is a issue regarding intersectionality where there is a colored male hired so surely it is not discrimination by race and a white woman is hired so the employer is not being sexist so what is wrong? Well the problem is that there are little to almost no colored women being hire at this restaurant and that is what intersectionality is all about. Now as for how we can spread awareness to intersectionality, is that we can use our voices to support and spread the word to families, friends, and people you may know. Another way could be, being supportive of people whom, are of different communities, just being there, lending an ear or speaking out for them if they are facing public discrimination based on their race and gender. Other ways may include being respectful whenever you have a casual conversation with anybody, being aware that their background may be different or just have an open mind when socializing with them so you do not overstep any bounds or come off as offensive. Always remember actions speak louder than words. 

Benjamin, R. (n.d.). Race After Technology.

Noble, S. (n.d.). Algorithms of Oppression: How Search Engines Reinforce Racism.

TED. (2016, December 7). The Urgency of Intersectionality | Kimberlé Crenshaw [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akOe5-UsQ2o&t=3s