#bad Edelgard not allowed the cool food

[butwhatifidothis]

It’s paralogue Anon again! Let me tell you my version of White Cloud’s Gronder battle. Or, as I like to call it, The Battle Of The Houses. I’m playing the Blue Lion House route, and I was worried about every other houses’ levels…Only to see that my house was literally overpowered compared to everyone and I laughed. Anyway, I did the split too: I was still a bit cautious with Mercedes, Annette, and Ingrid but I wanted them to level up. I had them go left where Ferdinand was leading a charge of pegasus riders and such. Poor thing lost his troops so fast and then got beat up by three girls who didn’t even struggle against HIM, not his troops, HIM.

Sylvain and Dedue were charged to sneak through the forest-covered area on the right to take out Claude. I had them take Flayn to not only protect her, but to bond and help her level up. Dedue got his revenge on Hilda(long story), but what got me was Claude. I will not lie, I did a lot of favoring of Claude whenever the game allowed me. So, imagine my intrigue, and surprise, when Claude completely IGNORED MY HOUSE and went after Black Eagle House’s army. I was amazed at Claude’s strategic skills, it was pretty good. Even when Lorenz broke formation to fight Hubert solo to get to Edelgard, and got ganged up and beat on like a wimpy kid against a group of big pre-teenagers. Bless Lorenz’s heart, he tried, but Hubert didn’t even bother to entertain him.

I generously would have let Claude finish off Edelgard and her troops if it wasn’t for the prize that would be gained for taking out the most enemy troops. So, Sylvain took Claude out. Oh, Byleth and everyone else took to the center and took over the archer post. Felix dominated that post for a while before handing it over to Ashe to join the fight. By the time my house was through, Edelgard was literally the only one left. She was cornered. I decided to let Dimitri have the honors of taking her out, this was going to be a fight between house leaders after all. He deserved to be the one to end this…

But then Edelgard turns right to Byleth and straight up ATTACKS HER. Dimitri was RIGHT IN FRONT OF EDELGARD AND HE WAS IGNORED ಠ_ಠ. I legit gasped (my face when she attacked Byleth: ಠOಠ), I was so offended by the sudden attack that I took Edelgard down so fast that you might as well said she got slapped to the ground. That was how fast it was, I didn’t give her a second to register that.

And I still gave a lecture of how rude she was being, even when the battle was over. Seriously, forget getting ANY compliment from me Edelgard, all of it is going to Claude for his great strategy skills! Then I’m gonna do a whole speech of how proud I am of Dimitri’s leadership skill AND my class’s amazing win at a FEAST with confettis, and deserts, AND everyone, BUT YOU AND HUBERT, are getting most of these deserts (because we all know that Rhea will not let anyone be excluded from the festivities like that, let’s be honest). You both will be stuck with the stuff no body likes!

…Anyway yeah, that was how the battle when for me on my playthrough.

--- 

What a neat battle! You know, the way your Claude acted (which btw wtf lmao the AI seems to love to try and beat my ass) has me thinking that they could have implemented a mechanic where if you get on the good side of one of the opposing lords before WC Gronder they don’t target you as hard (like their priority will be the third house), just to maybe mix it up on future replayings. Also lol Edelgard attacking Byleth and ignoring Dimitri xD

[imaginethreehouses]

Imagine being trapped in an elevator after months of mutual pining with...

[🦁 Blue Lions]

Dimitri: He wears his feelings on his sleeve since his breakdown at the start of the war, so he's aware that his crush on you is likely to be an open secret. He wouldn't want to risk a worse accident by using his strength, so he would be content to sit down and wait for rescue with you.

Dedue: He would apologise that you have to be forced to spend time with him. If you reassure him that you are actually glad to get the chance, the two of you might finally get to talk your feelings out.

Annette: Too focused on panicking to be worrying about who she's trapped with. She would get angry and frustrated, and later would feel terribly embarrasaed that she acted that way in front of you. But you wouldn't have her any other way, right?

Mercedes: She doesn't even try to get out, she's completely chill and reassures you that you'll get rescued soon. Mercie is the type to act completely normal around her crushes, and she would be amused to see you act flustered, if you do.

Sylvain: Would try to act normal because he doesn't want to put pressure on you, but if you're brave enough to make the first move, he wouldn't miss a beat before going for a kiss.

Felix: He's been avoiding you since he realised he has feelings for you, which means he greatly misses you, so for him this is both a blessing and a curse. He would try to keep it together but would likely end up confessing if you're trapped in there long enough.

Ashe: Like Annette, he would panic, and then be disappointed in himself for not acting like you would expect from a knight. You would have to reassure him that everyone's allowed to have weaknesses and fears, even knights.

Ingrid: She would act like you would expect from a knight, stoically keeping her cool through the whole situation... unless she sees you acting all blushy around her. As soon as she realises that there's a chance that you might like her, she would start getting flustered too.

[ 🦅 Black Eagles]

Edelgard: She's always on the edge of a breakdown, so if the conversation takes that kind of turn, she would be tempted to let this be the time she will show weakness and cry in your arms.

Hubert: Won't get a thing out of him. His duty to Edelgard comes first, so he will take his crush with him to his grave if he has to. Will confess in time, but a setback as small as this one will not be the thing that prompts him to do it.

Ferdinand: Would try his hardest to reassure you that everything will be alright. Even if you're not the littlest bit scared, he will vow that he'll ensure that you will get through this, together. Would not understand why you're laughing.

Caspar: Would fight the elevator. Surely you will be impressed by his strength, right? Would also not understand why you're laughing.

Bernadetta: She would start waxing about how if she has to meet her end in a place like this, at least she is glad that it is with you by her side. Wait, did she say that last part out loud?

Linhardt: Would take the situation as a very welcome break. Nothing left to do but to take a nap as you wait for your rescue. You would probably be more comfortable if you leaned on each other while you sleep, right?

Petra: She would act normal at first, but it's likely that after talking for a while, the conversation would end up touching the matter of feelings. She would not think it a good moment to confess, but she would definitely decide that she wants to do it soon.

Dorothea: She would see her chance and seize it. Might wait a little to see if you make the first move, but will definitely do it herself if she thinks you're just too shy to go for it.

[🦌 Golden Deer]

Claude: He would feel uneasy to have no escape route in case he needs one, so he would try to keep the conversation as casual and lighthearted as possible.

Ignatz: I think he would be slightly claustrophobic and start worrying that neither of you are strong enough to break free on your own if rescue doesn't arrive. You would have to reassure him.

Hilda: Would immediately start talking about the obvious romantic implications of the situation. It would be impossible for you to tell if she's joking or not.

Lorenz: Would start feeling frustrated if he can't manage to escape on his own. He knows he will start getting flustered if the situation drags on for long, so his main focus is to find a way to open that door.

Marianne: She would think it's her fault that this happened to you, so you would have to reassure her that it is not. Then, she would feel bad that she's making you worry for her, but if you keep talking to her, she would likely start feeling better and the two of you would actually have a good time.

Raphael: Would immediately start worrying about being trapped long term without food, and would check on you constantly, asking if you're hungry, thirsty, tired, etc. You have to remind him that it's literally been six minutes.

Lysithea: She has no time to be stuck in here while she has so much left to do. As time goes by, you can tell she's feeling worse and worse. If she hasn't told you about her shortened lifespan yet, she might do it now.

Leonie: She doesn't mind being trapped, she knows there is no real danger. Her main focus would be to make sure you're doing okay. She rarely takes a moment to just stop and chill, so as long as you're doing well too, she would actually have a good time.

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

Day 2 of the fall semester at Garreg Mach University, in what will eventually come to be known as the Apartment of Torment, not for any of the various architectural and other features that make the apartment a crime unto the goddess which will be detailed later*, but more for the fact that everyone else who knows them agrees that trying to live amongst the people who live in that apartment is probably on par with some sort of eternal damnation although actually y’know Dedue is cool but the other three are just bundles of bad choices and neuroses:

Dedue arrives back from his classes to make himself lunch; he hasn’t had the chance to go shopping himself yet, but he knows that the Blaiddyd-von Hresvelg siblings said they arrived with some basics. He is still rummaging around in all of the many kitchen cabinets and drawers when Edelgard returns to the apartment.

“Where,” Dedue asks, “have you set up the spice cabinet?”

“The what?” Edelgard asks. “We have salt? And maybe pepper but I’m not sure.”

“Come with me,” Dedue says, grabbing his keys and his backpack.

“Where are we going?”

“Grocery shopping.”

“Do I really need to come along?”

“Yes. I need your credit card, unless you are comfortable with the idea of just handing it to me and allowing me to go. Dimitri will pay you back. He volunteered to come with me on any future shopping trips but this is an emergency and we must be off at once.”

“Is it really going to cost that much to get spices?”

“We need much more than that. Having observed what you and Dimitri cooked for dinner last night, I am concerned for your health.”

“There is nothing wrong with stir fry.”

“It took both of you twenty minutes to set up the rice cooker. There are instructions with the rice cooker, you know. Furthermore, you did not put any sauce on this so-called ‘stir fry’, which only contained frozen vegetables that you cooked, and not any kind of meat or protein.”

“Dimitri gets grossed out by raw meat. And some pre-cooked meats. Except ground beef, he can do ground beef.”

“I will not allow you to live off of frozen vegetables, plain white rice, and ground beef.”

Dimitri returns from classes, surprised to find that the apartment is empty because he thought Dedue said he would be coming back instead of staying on campus today, but he just kind of flops over and starts reading through the syllabi for his courses. Hubert then arrives back, and the two of them are lounging in the living room when the door finally opens and Dedue and Edelgard stagger in, appearing as though they were competing to each carry more bags than the other. “What’s going on?” Dimitri asks, staring, because holy fuck that is a lot of food.

“Dedue was offended that the only seasonings we have are salt and pepper,” Edelgard says.

"Wait, really, we have pepper?” Dimitri asks. “I didn’t think we brought pepper.”

“I am also deeply concerned about your eating habits, as evidenced by your cooking last night.”

“What’s wrong with stir fry?” Dimitri asks.

“Here we go,” Edelgard sighs.

-

*Features of Aillel, the Valley Apartment of Torment:

a very long hallway from the door to the kitchen, which has no overhead light or light switch, leaving said hallway entirely in darkness even when the kitchen is lit; these circumstances have left even Hubert mildly startled, not that he will admit to such, when at 2 am he was drinking black coffee out of the pot and Dimitri loomed up out of the dark hallway looking like some sort of swamp monster because he went out for a walk at midnight and then just sat in the rain for two hours.

mice; Dimitri, Hubert, and Dedue all were awoken at a sound that they could not be blamed for assuming was Edelgard being murdered, to fling open her door and find that she saw a mouse. She slept in Hubert’s room for a week after.

floor to ceiling windows that constitute two of the four walls in Edelgard’s room, and only Edelgard’s room, giving her enough space to write FUCK THE CHURCH in sticky notes until Dimitri spots it from outside and tells her to take them down

individual thermostats for each room, except Dimitri’s, which is for some fucking reason controlled by the same thermostat as Dedue’s next door.

not technically an issue with the apartment but hair ties everywhere, on every flat surface, are they coming out of the walls, do none of the others ever notice, Hubert wonders as he finds a hair tie in the silverware drawer

also not technically an issue with the apartment, but two coffee makers taking up precious counter space, because one is Hubert’s so he can drink straight from the pot while everyone else can use a mug like a normal fucking person

-

Ashe, a month in: “So, what’s it like living with the rich kids in their apartment?”

Dedue: “They don’t know how to season their food. Yesterday Hubert ruined a kettle heating up some energy drink to try and seep tea bags in it. Last week we had to rearrange all of the furniture in Edelgard’s room looking for a mouse.”

Leonie: “Yeah, we’ve got mice at the frat house too, but when I brought up the idea of setting up some traps Marianne started crying for the sake of the mice. What about us, Marianne! And Claude put hand soap in the dishwasher yesterday. Not even dish soap, which is at least almost a reasonable mistake to make. At least I have Ignatz and Raphael. I don’t know how you live like that with only the rich kids.”

Dedue: “When we go grocery shopping, Dimitri gives me his credit card and doesn’t ever bother checking what I bought or how much I spent.”

Dorothea: “Oh, that’s my dream. How are you living my dream? How do I get that life?”

Dedue: “I woke at five am this morning and found him eating plain white rice with shredded cheese on top of it.”