#baddass grandmas

[khr-guilded-cage]

"You fight like my grandma." (complimentary)

[electric-sheeeep]

"religion was created by the government to gain control over the people"

- my grandmother on some random thursday

[kisnin]

One of my favorite troupes in anything;

Squad of muscle bound soldiers, up to the nines in armor and guns, protecting "grandma/babushka" a little old lady the squad somehow acquired and now looks after them, baking and giving hugs an everything.

And the moment the enemy captures her and tries to do anything they go apeshit and kick ass.

That and ninja grandmas, who, despite being of advanced age, can martial a rowdy platoon, and somehow operate an m60 MG all on their own.

[deliciousdefendorinternet]

I Hope in a third tv show we see Branch back to his more crazier self like he was in TBGO as in Trollstopia he was maybe a little too well adjusted lol.

since it'd be overall pretty cute if over the course of a third Tv show we maybe saw the Bro zone members slowly learning more and more about the more crazy version of Branch.

like imagine if in an episode we actually saw maybe JD being shown more of Branch's Bunker and his weapons and Defences maybe how on alert Branch still is after all this time.

even someone patting him on the shoulder from behind is enough to get him to freak out and attack them pulling a weapon from his hair nearly striking them with it.

and JD in keeping with his personality probably finds it pretty cool at first thinking his baby bro is some sorta baddass and not really taking it all that seriously like the other bros probably would.

like imagine this scene from Brooklyn nine nine but with Branch freaking out on JD and pulling a weapon on him after he startles him from behind.

and JD just thinking its cool how baddass his baby bro seemingly is lol.

only for something to happen later on in the episode that makes him finally see it as more serous for how it affects Branch.

given he genuinely lives in a near constant state of panic a lot of the time and thus his reactions to things are more serous from his point of view which JD wasn't able to see before.

like seeing stuff like this in a Third Tv show would be good imo seeing Branch back to his more crazier self and his brothers slowly learning more about him.

and maybe seeing him as an oddball or even just a straight up crazy person at first who makes them kinda uncomfortable for the most part but they do slowly learn to understand him and vice versa.

plus Gary they gotta meet Gary and be weirded out by Branch's relationship with him before realising why he grew so attached to a Remote during all those years Hiding away. 😂😂😂😂

and of course there's other interesting dynamics to expand on more in a third show.

like Bruce and JD where maybe JD could still hold a bit of resentment over Bruce walking away from the family and never coming back unlike he did.

but he slowly comes to more of an understanding realising the negative effect he had on Bruce's self image and the stress he caused him.

and Bruce kinda understands more the pressure JD was constantly under having to mostly take care of them all.

as I kinda HC due to what we saw at the start of TBT that their Grandma was pretty passive in Raising them so JD pretty much had to do most of it and she only really stepped up when she had to for Branch after the others all left.

a Third show has so much potential I swear to god 😅😅😅😅

[thementallyunwellapollochild]

the only reason I wanna contact my ancestors is bc they are actually so baddass

Like, what do you mean my great great great maybe another great grandmas slept with a president and his brother? I WANNA COMMUNICATE WITH HER SO BAD PLEASE SHE WAS SO BADDASS

[castingmysilver]

I think with LOTR films versus books, while I used to be a very aggressive book purist towards the original Trilogy of films, it's genuine mixed mileage for me now?

I am still deeply sad about their characterization choice for Faramir. We *got* that character arc already, it was his older brother, *he* needed to be the strength and virtue and proof it's even possible for a mortal to be uninterested in the Ring's temptations.

I kinda miss the weird magic of the Old Forest, Tom Bombadil, and the backstory on Merry's blade: but I get it now that most people wouldn't have had the patience for that runtime.

The Scouring being skipped has gone from something that I think sucks completely to "that sure is an interesting thematic choice in interpretation."

But one thing I *like*?

*Arwen.*

Glorfindel is a cool guy but he wasn't even relevant to the core plot of the trilogy! He was a shout-out to the deeper value of the legendarium! An Easter egg!

Arwen is a key motivating force for heroic Aragorn and also a symbol of the turnover in the Ages of the world, but in the book she *barely* puts in an appearance. It *bloody well matters* to me that they both decided to expand on one of the very rare visible female characters around, and give further reasonable characterization to both this key figure, and by proxy her love. She goes from a cameo to being a shining source of pure beauty and a recurring dream of desire, who has hopes and dreams and fears and pressure from family obligations of her own, who chooses hope in the face of despair on the behalf of the next generation, and who is also a competent baddass for at least one scene who you can *believe* is the heir of both Luthien who she is repeatedly compared to and who defied fucking Satan Boss Of The Dark Lord to his face, and grandma Galadriel queen-adjacent ruler of the Golden Wood, one of the three great bastions of Elvish magic power in the world, known as Nerwen/Man-maiden for her love of boyish sports in her youth.

Yes, Luthien and Galadriel's heir *would* go riding out to fetch back the Ringbearer, defy a goddamn undead king while drawing a sword on him, and activate a semi-sentient elemental protection spell! *Yes* the granddaughter of Galadriel, who refused ultimate power and offered to become small and weak to preserve the world she loved, would turn away from her only chance to reunite with her mother and her kin and keep immortality for the chance to see a brief shining moment of love and new life in the future!

Please pump this baddass yet femme interpretation directly into my veins.

I won't forgive how they made my golden boy turn into a conniving bastard for a hot minute just from getting in the Ring's radius, but Arwen Undomiel?? You did good, PJ. You did good.

[ihateeliasbouchard]

gertrude n gerry. maybe tim

this is just gonna turn into me giving my opinions on characters? excellent

i know a lot of people rly hate gertrude but honestly? morally grey baddass grandma, still should have probably cared about people just a little bit more (coughmichealcough)

tim is sexy and never did anything wrong.

if you are a goth boy with mommy issues who burns books plesse give me you number. gerry keay i am in love with you. our vows can be the leitner rant please call me....

[cole-saberhagen]

Terrible Borderlands Dates - Choose Yours!

Troy Calypso - Shows up an hour late without a shirt on - According to him, a date with him isn't just a date, "it's an experience" - Broadcasts the whole date live - Takes you back to his place to show you his crazy hi-tech gun collection - Spends 20 minutes showing off how many things he can crush with his arm - Spends another 30 minutes showing off his sword techniques - Knights you with his sword. You are now part of the Children of the Vault family - Tyreen shows up and a full blown sibling fight breaks out about privacy - You're not sure if the date is over or not, so you just sit there sipping on the energy drink Troy generously gave you from his stash - The broadcast is still live so you can't leave "Don't forget to like, follow and obey"

Katagawa Jr. - Insists on going to the fanciest restaurant on Promethea - Shouts at the waiter when they inform him there is no ‘secret menu’ - Orders the most expensive item but doesn’t touch any of it - Spends the whole time talking about Rhys Strongfork - Has an entire argument, with himself, about how Maliwan coffee is superior to Atlas coffee - Cancels the rest of the date for an ‘emergency meeting’ - Walks out and leaves you with the entire bill “Rhys will come around eventually”

Rhys Strongfork - Takes you blindfolded to a secure undisclosed and very secret location on Promethea for the date - Makes you go through a 10 minute security check on arrival, just in case - Zer0 is here. You're the only one who seems to find that awkward - He sends Zer0 out to the Rise and Grind coffee house to get you both drinks - Has an entire argument, with himself, about how Atlas coffee is superior to Maliwan coffee - Zer0 is back by the time the argument is over. You're not sure how much time has passed - Zer0 stays for the whole rest of the date. You're not quite sure who's dating who at this point "So, what do you think of my siege mustache?" -winks-

Handsome Jack - Takes you to Moxxi’s just to be rude to her while she’s working - Helps himself to half of the food on your plate - Orders every drink, gets extremely drunk and breaks/throws at least one thing - Shouts loudly over the whole room that he’s always DTF on the 1st date - He has forgotten your name at this point of the evening - Pays for everything by making it rain paper bills all over the floor “Oh yeah, did I mention I’m RICH?!”

Timothy Lawrence - Doesn’t mind where you go, is just happy to spend time with someone that isn’t going to murder him (he hopes) - A good listener, or this is the 1st decent meal he’s had in a while and he’s focusing on that, you can’t tell - Automatically says a Handsome Jack quote out loud whenever someone walks by the table - Is awkwardly bad at making conversation but tries his best - Tells a joke but it bombs because he over-explains it - Dives under the table after a long period of awkward silence to pick up someone’s dropped change (hey, jackpot!) - Offers to pay but looks extremely grateful and agrees when you counter-offer to split the bill “T-thanks for the date. Maybe we can do this again...some time..? no? okay”

Mr. Torgue - Sends you on an elaborate and ultimately pointless quest with various stages - Talks to you over the ECHOnet the whole time from his space truck - Mentions his grandma at least twice - By the end of the evening you’re now the most baddass champion of the Campaign of Carnage - Wait, was this actually a date or…? “EXPLOOOOSIONS!”

[mbavholidayexchange]

To @pixiepaintt from @sarahfoxlesbian

Title: Likes and Dislikes

Rating: T

Summary: not provided

Ao3 Link: N/A

Content

Ethan Morgan did not like buses.

Well, he didn’t like vehicles in general, not that he hated them but if there were a way to live without them he would. This was likely, at least in part, due to the fact that the first car he owned turned out to be a vampire.

But buses, in particular, felt shakier and less safe. At least the school ones did. And for some reason the school had decided they should be stuck in one for around two hours as they headed towards some sciency museum out of town Ethan would have been excited for if ut didn’t mean he’d be stuck in a bus with almost everyone else in his grade for so long.

Every bump they hit on the road, Ethan was sure he would be sent out flying. He would’ve tied his suitbelt, but apparently it was too rusty and refused to stay in place, making it so that his only option was to stick the thing between his seat and Benny’s.

There was the other problem with this whole trip. Benny.

Benny Weir who had somehow managed to talk him into going on the trip in the first place, and was now seated beside him as he snickered at Ethan’s attempts to put his seatbelt in place.

“Shut up,” Ethan grunted, “Don’t you have a spell for this or something?”

“I mean, I’m sure I could make something up.” Benny shrugged.

At that moment, Ethan gave up and just let the seatbelt dangle off, “How about we don’t do that.”

Benny let out a short laugh and Ethan tried to ignore the way his stomach suddenly felt upside down.

“Yeah, that’s… probably for the best.”

Ethan rolled his eyes, but a smile stayed present on his face, and he could see Benny looking at him with a matching one.

This was the real reason Ethan didn’t want to go on the trip.

It had been a week and one day since Ethan came to the startling realisation that he had a crush on his best friend, and had since then tried to avoid any situatiln in which he would be forced to properly acknowledge it. Like, for example, sitting besides him, legs pressed together with no one else to talk for two hours.

Ethan could see Rory a couple of rows ahead of them, their head backwards and swinging from side to side.

“What is Rory even doing?” Benny asked the question in Ethan’s mind.

“You expect me to know? They’re just… being Rory, I guess.” Ethan’s eyebrows became scrunched together as Rory appeared to suddenly fall to the floor, but they were quickly back in their seat, so they were probably fine. Probably.

“Well, at least they’re having fun while we get to…. uh….” The taller of the two boys trailed off, apparently forgetting the destination’s name.

“I honestly don’t know the museum’s name, dude.” Ethan said when Benny looked at him as if he could supply an ending to his sentence.

“You don’t know,” The look on Benny’s face spoke of incredibility.

The seer shook his head.

“You’re the one who wanted to come on this trip,” He pointed out.

Benny rolled his eyes, “We were required to come.”

“I could’ve skipped.”

“Physically? Yes. But morally? Imagine the toll.” Benny snickered.

“Hey, I’m capable of skipping school,” Protested Ethan.

Bennt laughed. “Are you?”

“Yes!”

“And yet, you’ve never done it.”

“That’s not true. I skipped in eight grade when you had mono.”

Looking back on that specific memory, it was likely Ethan should’ve realised his feelings for Benny went beyond friendship a lot earlier than he had. After Benny started looking increasingly tired and paler, and had stopped eating as much, Ethan had absolutely freaked. So much, in fact, that when Benny didn’t go to school Ethan had just ran out of the school all the way to the other boy’s house and insisted on seeing him.

Benny’s grandma had called his parents after she realised he’d just run out, and although verh grounded, Ethan spent that full day and the following one just fawning over Benny, who was reay just asleep for the most part.

On the third day that Ethan would’ve skipped school, his parents informed him he could no longer spend his day at Benny’s instead of in classes and he had to be forced to the building. Maybe Ethan had cried a bit, but he refused to admit it to anyone.

Benny was now looking at him strangely, “You did?”

“Yes? How could you not remember that?” Ethan huffed.

“Well, excuse me, I was pretty out of it that week,” Benny’s tone was offended, reprimanding even, but there was a small growing smile on his face, different from his usual one. This one wss almost… softer.

Ethan shrugged as if to say ‘Fair enough’.

Benny shook hid head as if he were trying to get rid of something on it, “But you skipped?”

“I thought we established that, yes.” Ethan answered.

“For me.” Benny continued.

“Yes.”

“Wow.”

Benny now had a thoughtful look on his face, like he often did when they were trying, really trying, to figure out whatever new creature had risen from the seemingly endless supply Whitechapel had for the supernatural.

Ethan suddenly became panicked about Benny figuring out he liked him, but before he could start rambling, the bus shook, and Ethan flew towards the seat in front.

Benny Weir liked many things.

Chips, being baddass, girls, spells, Ethan Morgan, to name a few.

Museums were not one of those things.

The whole trip seemed a bit pointless, really, and Benny usually would’ve tried to find a way to get his grandma to let him skip out on it.

Except— Except Ethan had been kind of avoiding him all week, and what better place to actually try to figure out why than being stuck next to each other on a bus for two hours? Really, Benny’s plan was infalible.

Two hours later, as the bus pulled up next to the museum, Benny found that he had no answers, only more confusion and a mildly injured Ethan.

“You okay?” He heard from beside him, and turned to look at Ethan who now had a comically colorful band aid on his forehead, a cut lying under

“I’m fairly sure it should be me asking that question.” Benny said, pointing at Ethan’s cut.

Ethan rolled his eyes, “I said I’m fine, it’s the smallest cut on Earth.”

Stubborn idiot, Benny thought. Stubborn idiot why am I in love with you.

Before Benny could give a less revealing voicing to his thoughts, Benny and Ethan were being pulled off the bus alongside everyone else on it, and into the museum.

Once they were inside, Benny turned to Ethan with a conspirational look, “We could sneak away.”

“Just because we could doesn’t mean we should.” Retorted Ethan.

Benny looked at Ethan pleadingly for a second. Two.

“Okay fine.” Ethan huffed, his cheeks oddly tinted a bit pink.

It wasn’t in the slightest bit hard to sneak away from the rest of the group, which was probably concerning but Benny didn’t really care. It was conveninent.

Soon, Ethan and Benny found themselves in the astronomy section of the museum. The room was mostly dark, lit up by faint purple ish blue ish light coming from the constellations that filled the walls and ceiling. Benny looked beside him to find that the light gave Ethan a more ethereal look than he already possessed, shining from beside him and only partially reflecting on his face.

“What-” Ethan started when he noticed him staring but Benny interrupted.

“Why are you avoiding me?” The words were slightly rushed.

“I’m not?” Ethan tilted his head slightly in that way that made him look a bit like a puppy.

“Not right now, but this past week,” Benny took a deep breath, “This past week whenever it was just you and I you just bailed immediately.”

Benny could’ve almost believed in him if Ethan had told him it was some weird coincidence, or Benny being paranoid, if only because that’s what Benny wanted to believe, but instead of answering Ethan looked down at his shoes guiltily.

“Did you-” Benny could feel his heart hammering in his chest, “Did you figure it out? Because if you did, it would’ve been really nice if you’d actually told me that instead of just evading me like I’m the plague or some shit.”

“What are you talking about?” Ethan was now back to actually looking at Benny, confusion written all over his face.

Benny bit his cheek. Shit. If Ethan hadn’t figured out that he had a very hopeleds very pathetic crush on him, Benny had just completely given himself away.

“Benny?” Ethan prompted.

“It’s nothing, just tell me why you were avoiding me.”

Ethan’s jaw tensed slightly, like it always did when he wanted to argue but had chosen it wss better not to.

“I- well-” The shorter of the pair stumbled over his words, seeming to start some sort of coherent thought then leaving it right after. His cheeks were completely red, as if he had some really bad sunburn only on the cheeks, and the jumbled words kept getting quicker.

“Hey,” Benny put his hand on Ethan’s shoulder, “just breathe.”

“Right, yeah.” Ethan said, breathlessly.

When he finally looked a bit more calm, Ethan bit his lip and looked right into Benny’s eyes and it took everything in Benny to maintain that eye contact instead of staring at the boy’s lips.

“I like you.” Ethan said and Benny blinked.

“What?”

Ethan took a step back, “Fuck, just, let me down gently, please.”

Benny just stared. And stared.

“You’re serious?” He asked tentatively.

“Damnit, Benny. Yes, I’m serious,” Ethan was no longer looking at Benny, instead staring at some point behind him.

“Me too.” Benny finally said.

“Wait, what?”

Instead of answering, Benny took a step forward and pressed his lips to Ethan’s. He stiffened, for a second, but soon he was kissing back.

They both pulled back and Benny let out a small laugh, Ethan following soon after, then pressing their foreheads together.

The moment was interrupted by a voice coming from directly beside them.

“You know, if you guys were just gonna sneak away to make out, you should’ve probably skipped,” Rory said, “Although, I do suppose this is a more romantic setting than Ethan’s bedroom.”

[turnyourlifeintofolklore]

Reputation asks: Getaway car, dancing with our hands tied, king of my heart and new years day

getaway car: where would you travel if you could leave right now?

Italy!!! I would love to go there someday, I’d like to see everywhere to be honest

dancing with our hands tied: name someone (person or animal, dead or alive) you’d keep a picture of in your locket and talk about why

My grandmother! she passed away 7 years ago and she was a baddass woman, she was like a mother to me and I miss her so much, I’ll miss her for the rest of my life, she’s one of the most important people in my life and I’d love to see her picture everyday

king of my heart: if you had to make the choice, would you choose a life of luxury alone or a life of poverty with love?

I’m kinda heartbroken now so I’d rather suffer while having a luxury life lmao but yeah, I’m used to being alone,pretty sure is my broken heart talking right now, but yeah, that’s how things are rn

new years day: tell us about your favorite new years memory

oh idk I’m not a big fan of new year, I don’t really do something especial tbh but when I was little my grandma used to cry everytime in new years eves and no one really knew why but it made me giggle as a kid

thanks for asking!!

[lilymaidofgallifrey]

Title: World War Z

Author: Max Brooks 

Type of Apocalypse: Zombies - aka my favourite kind of apocalypse 

Overall Rating: 4/5

I read most of World War Z on the train to and from university. Reading zombie books on public transport is always weird because inevitably I start to look around at my fellow passengers and wonder what I would do if someone turned into a zombie. 

The first thing I want to say about this book is that it is completely, and I mean completely, different than the movie of the same name. Really the only things the two have in common are the name, the fact they both have zombies, and a couple of minor plot points. Honestly I liked the book better. 

Format:

World War Z is a faux history book which recounts stories from survivors of the so called “Zombie War”. It is broken up into eight sections which cover different phases of the apocalypse. Each section consists of a series of ‘interviews’ with survivors around the world. As the book progresses, some of the threads start to tie in with each other and you see the same events from different perspectives. 

Personally, I really enjoyed this format. I often have trouble focusing when I’m reading, especially on public transport, so it was nice that the book was broken into fairly small chunks.

Themes:

While this book was about zombies it was also not about zombies. There were definitely zombies in it, but it was more about the way people reacted to the problem of zombies. I think a lot of the time the actual apocalypse event is really about holding up a mirror to humanity (and individuals) to show what we’re capable of, whether it be good or bad. 

The themes running throughout booked mirrored many of the themes inherent in contemporary issues (especially climate change). There was a lot of commentary about problems caused by greed, failure to cooperate with others, lack of accountability and governments ignoring experts until its basically too late and suddenly everyone’s getting their faces chewed off by their undead grandmas and screaming HOW COULD THIS POSSIBLY HAVE HAPPENED.

It wasn’t completely doom and gloom though, another theme was that amidst all of the chaos and horror there’s always some hope left over. 

Things I Liked:

My favourite thing about apocalypse fiction/media is the bit that comes right before everything falls over. The part where there’s some vague warning signs but people are mostly unaware of the imminent doom which is rapidly heading their way. This book was good if you like that, because there was a whole section before it all really kicked off called “Warnings”. 

I liked that it wasn’t just focused on one country (America). There was also more disability rep than I’ve seen in a lot of other apocalypse media. There was a character who used a wheelchair and another character who was blind. In both cases, this was presented as providing an advantage rather than a disadvantage. The wheelchair saved one character’s life and the other was able to rely on his other senses to survive in the Japanese mountains. 

There was also this one chapter where like 300 university students fortified a women’s college and held off 10,000 zombies with farming implements while everyone else ran for the hills, that was pretty awesome. 

Things I Didn’t Like:

There wasn’t anything I really disliked about this book that I can put my finger on. I guess one thing is that some of the voices sounded a little bit the same, but not enough that it really bothered me. I think if I cared more about character-driven stories that would have been a bigger drawback, but I really don’t mind narratives which are more focused on an event than a person. 

You Might Like This If:

You like apocalypse books that aren’t just set in one country (America).

You like quietly cackling on the train as you gleefully read about the imminent apocalypse. 

You like fake history books. 

You like seeing multiple different perspectives on the same event. 

You like zombie apocalypses which focus more on what the apocalypse brings out of people but also still has quite a lot of zombies in it. 

You want to read an apocalypse book where people with disabilities aren’t completely ignored or just treated as a burden by people around them and instead are actually out there surviving and being baddasses.

You Might Not Like This If: 

You prefer character-driven plots. 

You’re on a train or a plane and you don’t want to imagine what might happen if one of the passengers turned into a zombie. 

[hamelin-born]

Castlevania/Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Born of my innate tendency to mix and merge my favorite fandoms. 

During a fight with a fill-in-the-blank enemy (perhaps it’s Dracula?) Trevor, Alucard, and Sypha were faced with a deceptively vague spell - one designed to show them that ‘they had no future!’ However, said curse was interrupted mid-casting by 1) A sanctified whip 2) A gout of flames and 3) A silver sword.

Rather then unleash a force of devastation upon them, it instead summoned Percival Graves from approximately five hundred years in the future.

Percival Graves who took one look at Trevor and spluttered “Granddad!?” Who addressed Sypha as “Grandma?!” And whose face filled with utter exasperated fury upon seeing Alucard. “Grandfather, what the fuck?”

Percival Graves, who punches demons in the face (just like Trevor), summons gouts of fire and ice to his side in a fight (just like Sypha) and accomplishes it all with an effortless grace and almost arrogant self-assurance (just like Alucard).

Percival Graves, whose full name is Percival Belmont Graves, and who immediately starts curing ‘Grandsir’ Alucard to high heaven. “What the fuck did you do now, you senile old fuck?!”

Percival Graves, who is the many-times great-grandson of Trevor and Sypha Belmont, has had to put up with infuriatingly vague and melodramatic ‘Grandsir’ Alucard his entire life, and who has been summoned from the far future just as he was about to fucking propose to Newt, goddamnit!

Percival Graves, who rolls his eyes at Alucard, gingerly trades tips on magic with ‘Grandma’ Sypha, and who, surprisingly, gets along best with ‘Grandpa’ Trevor - they have similar tastes in alcohol, and Graves desperately needs a drink. (Trevor, for his part, is determinedly regarding Percival as something of a distant cousin; he’s quietly thrilled to have family again, but it threatens his sanity to think of this man as his grandson). Percival can’t stand Alucard, and Grandma Sypha is - almost frighteningly naive in ways that make him very uncomfortable; on the other hand, he falls quite easily into talking shop with Trevor.

It was Percival’s mother who was the Belmont, but she made damn sure her son would be able to wield a whip with the best of them if it ever came down to it.

Then, of course, Newt somehow manages to follow Percy back in time (I see him as arriving on the back of a fire-breathing dragon for some reason) and Trevor damn near swallows his tongue. There’s a certain physical resemblance between Newt and Sypha - both thin, short-haired, sharp-faced magic-users, who are unexpectedly baddass. In short, Trevor is the first to figure out that Belmonts have a type - he kind of wants to bang his head against something very hard at that realization.

@elenothar

[queer-deadpool]

Baddass Grandmas Who Are STILL Marching For Women’s Rights <3

(x)