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77cc69 · 7 months

Text

Overthinking

Synopsis: Yoongi asks you out and reassures you about your inexperienced love life.

Pairing: Hybe!Employee!Female!Reader!Y/N X Idol!Yoongi (BTS) (Mentions of other members too)

Genre: Fluff (There’s a slightly angsty theme and suggestion/mention of smut if you squint). Borderline benign obsessive and possessive thoughts from Yoongi, I guess?

Warnings: None.

This is a fictional work. I generally prefer that minors do not interact in case I decide to write about sensitive themes at a later stage. Please read sensibly.

Word count: 3021

This is Part 1 of the Thinking AU. Part 2: Just Thinking (to be added) Part 3: Not Thinking (to be added)

If you wish to be added to (or removed from) the taglist please comment below.

I’ve used some basic Korean words in transliteration in italics in my writing. In case you don’t know what they mean, here are the translations for all Korean words used: Annyeonghaseyo (안녕하세요) - Hello Sajangnim (사장님) - president / CEO / boss -Ssi (씨) - a term of respect similar to Ms/Mrs/Mr Ne (네) - Yes

Author’s Notes: This is mainly descriptive writing with minimal storyline, but there are other parts that link to this theme that are in the making. I edit my work every now and then, so if you see a new chapter, perhaps consider reading the previous one(s) again in case I edited something to make more sense for the next chapter. This is my very first posted piece of writing, so I’d love to know your opinions. Don’t hesitate to contact me please. Let me know if you have any suggestions too! Just specify which work you're referring to if it's not a comment on the post. If you message anonymously, please provide a reference, alias or emoji for me to differentiate you from others. Last Edited: 25/03/2024

‘Knock knock’. It was gentle, but loud enough for him to hear through his muffling headphones. Patiently, you wait in the passage while other Hybe staff members walk by, bowing their heads as they pass. You’re gripping the papers and the late morning cup of coffee tighter than you should, leaving indents in the pages you’re supposed to deliver.

There’s a buzz, signalling that the door is now open. You slowly push the door ajar, quietly to not disturb him while he works on his masterpieces that you’re not yet privileged enough to witness. The fact that he lets you enter into his dimly lit studio is honour enough. The only two people who know the key to this room are Jeon Jungkook and Min Yoongi himself.

There’s a window on the left side of the room, tinted to be able to see outside and into the offices, but no one could see in. That must be how he’d known your name, seeing your labelled desk through the mirrored glass. You hadn’t expected him to notice you, let alone know your name and strike up conversations with you in the company cafeteria. He was one of the world’s best musicians and one of the most desired men on the planet. You were a little nervous to enter. Needless to say, the heartthrob made your heart throb. You always remained polite, respectful and professional as best you could, regardless of the mini developing crush you had blooming inside.

You see him lift the headphones off his ears and drape them around his neck before minimizing the file that was open on his computer screen with a click and spinning around to face you lingering in the doorway. “Annyeonghaseyo.” You bow, careful not to tip the coffee cup. He just nods in response from his spot across the room. “I brought the files that you requested,” you say softly as you gingerly place them on his messy yet somewhat organized desk. He gives a low pitched tired grumble in response. “Mmm.”

“Sajangnim said that you’ve been in here for quite some time, so I figured I’d bring you some fuel to keep you going too.” You gesture to the warm cardboard cup you’re holding and raise it slightly, steam escaping from the tiny hole in the plastic lid. Has he really been here all night? He looks at you, dumbfounded. You're so sweet. He’s thankful for your kindness.

You stand there awkwardly, holding the coffee cup and searching for a place to put it down that won’t disrupt his mountains of sheet music and chaos. He leans forward and gratefully receives it from your clammy hands. You feel slightly out of place, wondering if you should have ditched the coffee idea and remained entirely professional with him. You fight back the urge to coo at how cute he looks with his saggy eyelids and puffy cheeks. He looks utterly exhausted, like a cat that’s searching for a place to curl up and sleep for the next 20 hours straight.

He takes a sip from the coffee cup, wondering how you knew exactly how much sugar he liked. None. His stage name was Suga, but ironically he takes no sugar in his coffee. He enjoys the taste and appreciates that it’s still hot, but not hot enough to scorch his tongue. Savouring the flavour, his droopy eyes close as evidence of his sleep-deprivation begins to surface. He's not complaining though. He'd work an endless number of hours more if it meant you'd visit him with coffee more often to help with his stamina.

He senses you overthinking about your friendly gesture, but doesn’t show it, opting to lighten the mood instead. He decides to use this opportunity to talk to you alone while he has the chance. “Y/N-ssi?” You look away from his lips on the coffee cup to make eye-contact. “Ne Yoongi-ssi?” “Are you busy tonight?” he asks cordially. You slowly shake your head from side to side, wondering if you should be busy with something. Is this a trick question? Is there a project that you’ve forgotten about?

“Would you like to go out for dinner this evening?” he asks, all traces of emotion hidden from his face, Daegu dialect pulling through. “Sure,” you accept politely, smiling slightly and internally questioning if that was the correct response or not. “Which of the other colleagues will be there?” you enquire. His face morphs into an unidentifiable expression after you ask what seemed like a perfectly reasonable question to you.

You’re so naïve.

Your innocent mind and purity almost makes him swoon. He nearly shows it, but tries to stifle the giddiness in his chest. He pretends to be unaffected. “I meant just the two of us. Together. On a date,” he says plainly, awaiting your response.

He observes your pretty face and watches the calculations go off in your head as the final realization in your eyes set in and your lips move to form the word “Oh.” He fears that you might change your mind and waits to hear if your answer to his question changes.

It doesn’t.

He watches your beautiful features contort ever so slightly as you hesitate. “I’ve never been on a date before,” you say earnestly. His face relaxes, relieved that that was the only worry plaguing your brilliant mind and he lets out a breath that he hadn’t realized he was holding. “That’s ok. I’ll teach you. I haven’t been on many dates recently either. The K-Pop idol lifestyle isn’t really conducive to it.” He lets out a little chuckle as you huff out a small laugh of relief too. He has successfully made you feel better about your inexperience, he thinks.

You squirm and fidget with your sleeve, “But –” Apparently not so successful he realizes, “– I don’t know what’s socially acceptable. I-I don’t know how to kiss. I don’t know how to…” you rattle off, stumbling over your own words. It is in that moment that he knows you’re just as insecure about this as he is. You’re overthinking as much as he is, maybe even a bit more, judging by the stutter that just slipped out your pretty mouth. He leans back in his chair, pale fingers clasped together around the cup in his lap, the cardboard warm. There’s a faint gummy smile tugging on his lips as he takes another sip from the coffee. Amused eyes peer in your direction from behind the cup to see the cogwheels churning in your head. You’re adorable. Your face is tinted slightly pink to match the thin ribbon bow in your hair. He’s about to reassure you again when your rambling continues.

“Yoongi-ssi, I don’t know how to… I-I’m a virgin,” you admit. There. You said it.

He immediately splutters the liquid in his mouth, covering it with his sleeve, bending over and placing the cup on his desk without caring if it spills as he gasps for air in his coughing fit. Wow. Ok. It’s Yoongi’s turn to blush now. You really are getting way ahead of yourself. Next thing he knows, you’ll be contemplating marriage and telling him that you don’t know how to be a mother. He doesn’t mind. It’s endearing. He chuckles, gummy smile now on full display as he averts his gaze. The corners of his eyes crinkle and flatten slightly as his small pearly square teeth are clearly visible in a straight line.

You wonder if he’s laughing at you. Have you gone too far? Have you put him on the spot? You cringe. You’ve said too much.

He’s received millions of proposals before. Quite literally, millions. Yet, somehow, yours would be the only one in consideration. You’re the only person on Earth that Min Yoongi would fear rejection from. He hopes you don’t know that if you had actually asked about marriage, he would have said yes in an instant. If you’d actually verbalised your insecurity about motherhood, he would have held your hand through all of it, regardless of how hard you’d squeeze, even if you’d crush his hand in the process.

He grips the armrests of his swivel chair, using his legs to push the chair’s wheels out from under his desk and hoists himself up to stand. He glances down at your cute closed espadrille sandals with pink straps and a slight platform. He's wearing socks, shoes kicked off haphazardly at the door, but he towers over you nonetheless. He strides toward you, socks padding against the dark carpet, and you think he’s about to escort you gracefully out of his studio. He’s so close to you now, peering down at your flushed face with a fond look and a twinkle in his feline eyes.

He cups your cheeks with both of his hands and continues to stare into your soul while you innocently stare right back. His fingers are rough, callouses from a lifetime of guitar practice, grazing your cheek. The string tied around his wrist tickles your ear as his hands push your hair back, framing your face.

Your eyes strain to look up at him, struggling to focus when the dim lights above you create a blinding halo over his head. Your arms dangle aimlessly and lame at your sides, not knowing what to do or how to react. You think he’s about to take back his offer to take you out for dinner. You understand. It’s ok. You know you’re awkward.

He tilts his head closer to yours, the proximity making you question your decision to wear less perfume today. The next thing you know, you feel his eyelashes on your cheeks and his bitter coffee breath fanning over your top lip before you register what’s happening. Your eyes are wide open from shock, his doll-like lips pressing into yours while you’re frozen in place. Realization hits you and you close your eyes, soaking in the unexpected sensations flowing through you. All those thoughts swarming in your head a minute ago have come to a halt and you just enjoy this feeling of closeness. You let your natural instincts take over and slowly move your mouth to mould with his, relaxing against his touch. You’ve never experienced this before. You’re happy it’s with Yoongi.

Yoongi holds your face still, channelling all of the energy that he’s had pent up, into his first kiss with you. He wants this intimate moment to be memorable. For both of you. He’s actually glad that he’ll be your first. Your first kiss, your first date, the first man to hold your hand with the intention of never letting go, and your first… well, your first partner. He hopes to be your last and only. You’re pure, innocent and untainted. He likes that.

You have no idea how much courage it took him to ask you out. Yoongi has the confidence to be able to perform in front of millions of ARMYs, but it was nowhere to be seen when it came to asking you this big question today. His confidence had vanished into thin air and all he was left with was his usual calm demeanour which he hopes did the trick. He hopes it sounded casual enough even though he could hear his heart pounding in his throat.

He’s been observing you for a while now, seeing as you pass by while running your errands each day. He had been admiring you since the day you started working at the company, thanking the heavens for Bang PD placing you in the same section of the building where his studio was located. The perfect view of your desk was visible through his window where no one could see him being distracted every single day.

He’d noticed a lot about you in the last few months that he’d known you, like how consistently hard working you are and how you always pay attention to detail. He watched you pouring coffee for Namjoon the other day, swirling a floral pattern into the foam before capping the plastic lid on the paper cup and being careful not to spill a drop. He hopes that one day, he’ll be the only man receiving coffee from your dainty hands. You're clever, beautiful and have a heart of gold. How could he not want to be selfish and keep you all to himself?

It was strange how quickly he'd warmed up to you considering how long it usually takes him to become comfortable with strangers. He's usually so introverted, but holding your face in his palms and having you close to him just felt so normal, so easy, natural and just so right.

As he slowly and reluctantly releases your face from his passionate grip, he realizes there’s something that he hasn’t admitted to you.

Your eyes flutter open. Neither of you know how long the kiss lasted. Time itself had stopped. Nothing else in the world mattered in that moment. He’d caught you off guard, but you didn’t mind one bit. In fact, you quite liked it, even though he’d left you feeling slightly light-headed. There’s a faint coffee bitterness lingering on your lips, but you can’t bring yourself to wipe the sweet aftertaste away. He’s smirking and you wonder if you’re dreaming. Did he, Min Yoongi, really just kiss you, or are you standing there dumbfounded while he smirks at you after you’d imagined the whole thing? No, you couldn’t have imagined it. You don’t think your mind is capable of being creative enough to come up with something so vivid. Could he hear what’s going on in your head? No, that’s not possible. Right?

He clears his throat awkwardly, removing you from your dazed state. “Don’t worry Y/N. We’ll get to the other things you mentioned at a later stage, but for now, I think you’d better get back to work.” It is an unsaid promise that there is more where that came from. You look up at him shyly, not knowing what to say, but slowly nodding in acknowledgement, his words left lingering in the coffeed air between you. His smile brightens before disappearing entirely as if it was never there, making you believe that this was, indeed, just a dream all along. “We’ll leave work at seven,” he says flatly, no traces of his adoration shining through anymore like the warm words shared before. He then walks over to his desk and plonks himself back into the swivel chair, slouching lazily once again, wishing you’d stay, but he’d never show it.

You notice a soft smile peeping through his unphased facade, but it might just be in your imagination again, so you don’t say anything. It still warms your heart to think that maybe, just maybe, he feels the same way you do.

You bow, flustered, unable to wipe the blush and smile off your face, and turn around to exit. Just before closing the door behind you, you peek back in to see his back facing you, headphones on with dark fluffy hair bopping to the music as before like nothing had happened. You prefer his natural hair colour. You giggle to yourself like a schoolgirl as soon as the door is closed, quick to try neutralize your face when you see someone approaching in the hallway. If this was what your first kiss was like, you couldn’t wait for your first date later this evening.

What you hadn’t seen when you looked back into his studio to see the back of his head, was that Yoongi had the brightest gummy smile plastered over his face with the rosiest doughy cheeks that no one else would ever see. You had energized him, not with the coffee that you’d brought with you, but merely with your presence. As much as he should use this new found energy to get his work done before your date together, he was not going to be able to concentrate for the rest of the day. He’d end up writing ballads instead of the hardcore rap that he’d intended. He thinks, one day, he’ll show you his lyric book, littered with scribbles and confessions all about you. You are his muse after all.

He closes his eyes to picture your reaction from earlier that he’d done his best to memorise. It’s like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. It’s both a blessing and a curse that you are so blissfully unaware of his feelings for you. You don’t notice the fondness in his gaze when he stares at you. You’ve never noticed that he can’t pry his eyes off of you no matter how hard he tries to look away. Even after he’d silently committed his life to you, blatantly asked you out on a date, and kissed you like you were his life support, you didn’t know that he wanted you to be his, forever. You probably thought of him as a guy who just hit on you and kissed you to shut you up. You don’t know that he had kissed you to shut himself up. He needed a way to stop himself from saying the most ridiculously cliched poetry and to stop him from proclaiming everything to the world. He needed a way to show you how much he cared about you without embarrassing himself. He needed a way to reassure you and to settle the insecurities that he witnessed roaming around in your head.

He doesn’t know when his feelings for you started to develop. What he does know, is that they are diamond strong, and that everything with you just feels right. While you were frantically confessing that you didn’t know how to kiss or go on a date, there was only one thing going through his head. There was something that he didn’t know how to do either. You thought that you were getting ahead of yourself. Compared to him, you were nowhere close. The thing that he didn’t admit to you while he let you babble on, was that he, Min Yoongi, didn’t know how to say the words ‘I love you’.