#basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore

[munch-mumbles]

ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on

[bts-love-sweat-tears]

Julie’s Love Yourself Concert Diary

Concert Date: September 29, 2018

Written: September 30, 2018

Warnings: I curse more than I should?

Words: 3,330ish-added a few  things at the last minute (phew!)

A/N:

[Update: Tumblr couldn’t upload all my photos that I spent awhile choosing and placing, so I’m going to have to pare it down. Sorry bbs! I opted to cut my personal & merch photos in favor of the boys]

So I have one thousand and one things I should be working on-for school, for work, for my eventual job hunt. But instead I am going to write about last night’s experience while it was still fresh in my mind. I was thinking of doing a song-by-song play-by-play, but you can look up the setlist on Wikipedia, so instead I am going to talk about the things that jumped out at me. WARNING: This is essentially one giant spoiler, so I will try to put a “Read More” cut, though it’s been being weird for me lately. So scroll carefully if you’re going to a later date and don’t want to know. All photos taken on my (now ancient) iPhone 6, so I tried to choose the best ones). Will edit as I see typos I made.

I’m a little nervous since I usually write fiction instead of sharing my personal experience. Anyway, full disclosure that this is just my perspective, and I’m (always) happy to discuss things (civilly) if you disagree with me.  <3  Photos and opinions are mine.- please don’t re-post anywhere else.

The Background/ Pulling a Namjoon and Leaving my Ticket at Home

Even though I was going to the Saturday show, I flew into LaGuardia using frequent flyer miles on Friday morning. I was staying with a friend in Queens, so I went straight to her apartment. I’m a grad student as most of you probably know at this point, so I spent most of Friday working on a paper that was due. I had two friends I met at last year’s concert going to the Friday concert, and they went for merch promptly at 9, but I had just arrived and had a deadline to meet for school.  Around 4:30PM, I decided that I was done for the day and opened Ticketmaster to print my ticket for the next day’s show. When I logged in, I saw the notice that the ticket had been mailed to me. I remembered having seen that when I bought the ticket in May, but in my defense I was jet-lagged and ill on that day. Furthermore, I moved to and from NYC in that time for a summer internship, and SO MUCH HAD HAPPENED. The tickets had been mailed while I was living here and I had never seen them, so somehow it slipped my mind. Obviously I lived too far away, but I didn’t know if I could express overnight them, but I think when I called Ticketmaster, the old ones were deactivated when the guy tried to send me the link.

Anyway, print at home was not an option, so I called Ticketmaster and in a panic explained my situation. They said it happened all the time and offered to send me a link. Luckily I kept the rep on the line, because it turned out that even they couldn’t email a link because of the anti-scalpers/fraud/whatever.

Then the rep said that I could show the credit card, but I had literally cut it up the week prior since the Vendor (e.g. the store that the card was through) had switched their card to a different bank (e.g. Visa to Mastercard), so I seemed shady af, even though I was telling the truth. He said as long as I had a login to a statement showing the transaction (I didn’t, since they had opted to close the account at an institutional level).  So I called my mom frantically, and luckily she is the hyper-organized type who keeps paper copies of everything and sent them to me. Seriously, Mom for the win!  I run to this print shop as it’s closing and print everything out.  I had the Ticketmaster receipt & order #, and two photo ID’s confirming my address. The guy said it should be fine, but I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. This was my one birthday gift and something I had been looking forward to for months. Anyway, my friend and I went out to a local bar near the Halsey (yes, the singer took her name from the station) stop on the L line, and I was super anti-social because I was so upset. I also burst a blood vessel in my eye  (it will heal, no worries) because of too much birthday partying the prior weekend, so I’m sure I was a (sour) sight to behold.

I slept poorly for obvious reasons, and left the apartment around 7AM, and arrived to Prudential center around 8:30ish. There were only a few people outside of will call, but the GA line was already wrapped around the building. I made small talk with people outside of the box office, and one woman told me she had gotten soundcheck both days. Seriously, what kind of karma do I need for that to happen to me? She and her friends had been camping out since Thursday, and they were SUPER organized: while she waited in line, one was at merch, and someone else was holding their GA site. I almost wondered if they were a fansite or something. ARMY are a truly organized bunch (except for me, clearly).

Anyway, after another half hour of pure anxiety, they opened up will call and I was panicking, but they were really helpful and gave me my ticket after I verified the order number, showed my id and confirmed some other personal data. I decided then and there that nothing else mattered and I was just happy to be there and be in.

Waiting in line/Logistics/Staff

I left the box office, and got into the GA line. It was probably around 9:15, and the line had already doubled-back on itself all the way around the building. The woman from earlier told me that her friend had got #1000 and was only 3 rows back, so I still had some hope. Basically, you line up to get your spot in line- though it’s kinda dumb that you have to line up twice, it makes security go faster and guarantees that there isn’t a huge surge/stronger people cutting  in line later.

I wore what I thought were my most comfortable shoes, but after standing on concrete for hours, I don’t think it makes a difference. People were so friendly though-  I never once felt awkward even though I was by myself. The same was true last year- the friends who had gone up for merch on Friday I met while in line at last years’ Wings concert. I chatted with people around me, drank the two bottles of water I had, and looked at my phone. Bring an umbrella for shade and sunscreen though-I didn’t and am rocking a nice farmers burn/tan today.  It wasn’t humid though, and it wasn’t raining, so it could have been so much worse.

Even though there were tons of people, everyone was well-behaved. I didn’t see any altercations, though as the day went on the staff seemed a bit overwhelmed with crowd control.  I didn’t see too many people selling unofficial merch like last year, though I did buy a few necklaces (Joon and Chim, ofc).

After 3.5 hours, I finally got my wristband. They told us to be back by 2pm to line up for real, as they were going to try to open the doors at 3 instead of 3:30 (didn’t end up happening).

Merch

I then ran to merch, but there wasn’t much left. The fans/pickets were selling out as I got in line, and people were basically yelling “NOOOOOOOO” everytime the staff put up a “SOLD OUT” sticker. I bought what I could that was left, including a bracelet, which I’m actually in love with, the eco-tote (super overpriced tbh, $50 for a canvas bag), but the shopper bags were gone and I needed something to carry the box and batteries V3 ARMY Bomb I bought. I had one from last year that I also forgot, but I think the new version was cool because they are synced up with the music so you can change colors and patterns along with everyone else. Overall, it’s EXPEN$$$$IVE, but if anyone’s worth it, it’s Bangtan.

Newark

I was getting super tired after this, so I kinda passed on the photo studio table, big poster, and UNICEF stuff. I tried to go to Starbucks, but even though it was the middle of the day, I didn’t feel that safe, even though it was like 11:45 in the middle of the day. I’m a 27 year old who’s lived in Latin America (which is generally stereotyped for violence), solo traveled around the world, and I’m from the Rust Belt (aka home of true urban decay), but that part of Newark sketched me the heck out. Probably it would have been fine, but I opted for caution, and went to a Dunkin Donuts and empanada place right around the corner. The timing was actually good since we had to get back pretty quickly to line back up.

The second line was where the staff struggled, telling people to back up and get in order, but it seemed like staff were doing different things. Plus, if they wanted people to back up, they should have created room at the back first, before telling the front to basically “back that ass up” on the people behind them.

GA vs. Seated

I can say this- if you are short, you probably want a seat. Or if you have any kind of knee, back, or joint problems- I stood for approximately 14 straight hours on concrete yesterday. I am just under 5”5” but I was probably one of the taller people in the crowd, so I had a pretty good view. Even though they asked people to not take videos or record, you WILL be looking through a sea of cell phones. I could see pretty well, but sometimes when they were on the main stage I had a hard time seeing around other people’s arms.

Last time I had P2 seated, and the view was wonderful. I went to the bathroom, charged my phone, and ate nachos (lol), so it was generally a more chill experience. I was still super close but up a little higher and could see absolutely everything. But last night I was SO close I could see Joon’s dimples irl, and got splashed by both Jungkook and J-Hope when they threw the water bottles.  Probably 100 people think this, but I’m also pretty sure Yoongi  (and maybeeee Jimin) saw me jumping and singing along like crazy since I was one of the taller people. At the very least, Yoongi keep looking in the general direction I was in. Ofc I looked gross af with my messed up eye and crazy hair, but what I loved about the concert is that I was 100% able to forget all the insecurities I carry around with me on a day to day basis and have an AMAZING time.

Of course the whole place is crazy high energy, but I feel like last night was INSANELY high. I’m not sure if it was the overall vibe or if that was the GA influencing my opinion.  It just depends on what kind of experience you want to have. Also, if you are claustrophobic, you should probably pass on GA. The guards kept forcing people to back up, at one point even coming in with a flashlight, and people would surge forward whenever a member came close. But someone said the night before was chill, so maybe it’s just luck of the draw.

The Show

The show was absolutely amazing. They opened with IDOL, which got people hyped from the get-go. Their dancing was ON POINT as always. People were chanting during the intro videos and chatting as it filled in, so it was a great vibe once again- just super happy feeling. The audio visual part was AMAZING, though I’m no pro, and I loved all of the concert outfits, especially Jimin’s super sparkly sweater. Lots of jumping, and lots of screams. I didn’t have earplugs and was fine, but if you’re sensitive to loud sounds I definitely recommend them. ISTG I remembered hearing a mashup of FIRE, but maybe not? Wikipedia seems to think not. But they played a few older ones too, which made me so soft and nostalgic.

More on the members during the concert

Kim Namjoon

Ok, this is so so so biased, let me start with that. If you’ve followed me for any amount of time, you know how much I love this man. Seeing him smiling and happy was amazing. And they had a professional translator for this concert, so I felt like Joon was able to relax a little and enjoy himself instead of worrying about translating for everyone else.  He is just as tall and proportional as everyone says he is.  Everyone talks about how soft he is these days (and I love it), but he has undeniable charisma when he raps. Plus him in sunglasses, ddaeng. Seeing him so close was akin to something spiritual for me (I SAW THE DIMPLES WITH MY OWN EYES), as were people shouting along with him to “Love.” At the end, he commented how we were all sharing the same air, and hearing him think the way (I know at least some of ) us think was so heartwarming.  

Also during some of the videos, there were some NOT AT ALL subtle Minjoon moments.  

Kim Seokjin

The crowd last night ADORED Jin and gave him all the attention he deserves to have all the time. People were chanting his name SO LOUDLY during instrumental breaks in Epiphany. His voice was phenomenal, particularly the high notes. it’s clear how hard he’s worked to make it sound so effortless.  I noticed that people weren’t moving as much during some of his notes and I can only think it’s because we were literally transfixed. It’s well established, but I don’t think this man has any bad angles. Even in the still pictures I took while dancing, he DOESN’T look awkward in any of them. #impossible.

Min Yoongi

Suga was clearly happy about something last night- he was SO cute and happy. Other ARMY on the train back to the city agreed with me. His rapping was fire (duh), but he was really smiley and took out his earpiece a number of times to hear us screaming. “Seesaw” starts with him laying on a couch and I can think of no better way to capture his true soul (lol). He was extra attentive to fans, and  I feel like what Tae mentioned in Burn the Stage, he was trying to memorize ARMY’s faces and live in the moment. I felt bad because there were clearly parts where he wanted us to sing along, but we couldn’t necessarily keep up with his tongue technology :P  But people definitely tried their best.  

Jung Hoseok

Idk what I can say here that’s new. J-Hope is one of the most charismatic members on the stage. And there’s something in the American air that turns him into Jay Hope. Seriously, he’s hard to move your eyes away from. “Just Dance” was the first solo track if I remember correctly and he did not disappoint. His glasses at the end were adorable, and one of the other members called him a “happy grandfather” or something like that.  Seriously, if you’re still sleeping on Hobi, we can’t be friends.  

Park Jimin

Jimin was ethereal as always, and the choreography for Serendipity was…..salacious, to say the least. Like if you thought the “Take Me Down” cover from last year’s Festa was too much, then idk what to tell you. Bring holy water or something. Despite  the free water that fans were providing to others (ARMY are seriously the best) there was a different kind of thirst occurring, if you smell what I’m stepping in. Jimin is pure charisma, like J-Hope. Obviously their styles are totally different, but when they move, you stop whatever you’re doing and watch. Again, I didn’t even see many ARMY bombs moving during Serendipity- I think we were too entranced. I personally thought that he killed his vocals and did great, but he seemed a little tired or like he was working hard at it. Jimin was also the one (at least that I saw from my angle) that got the closest to the fans, crouching down and leaning over the teleprompters/fans/lights/ whatever the black boxes were at the edge of the stage.

Similar to Tae and Yoongi, I saw him looking at fans A LOT during the show. He was exactly how he seems in V Lives and cameras, and I’m fairly certain I would spontaneously combust if I ever ran into him irl (even if I didn’t know who he was)- he just radiates warmth and friendliness. Seriously, if I believed in magic, I feel like he would be able to influence people’s emotions.

Kim Taehyung

So many fic writers have this ultra primal (for lack of a better word?) for Tae, but all I see is a cute sweetheart. Obviously I’ve never seen someone create as much tension with their own arm as he does during Singularity, but when he’s not dancing, I just got a super innocent, cutesy vibe from him. His voice was so smooth last night. I mean, I knew, but now I KNOW.  He actually was shooting hearts at one fan (how lucky they are), and pretended to fall down when they shot him back! They were further back in P2 as well so he really does work hard at paying attention to everyone. He actually called over another member (maybe Yoongi or Jimin? I was too busy trying to remember how to breathe, to see whatever he was seeing).

At the end he whipped a heart out of his beanie (how I pray to god someone got that moment on camera) a la Jin. He just seemed really comfortable in his own skin last night, and I was so grateful for it.  

Jeon Jungkook

I had a hard time seeing most of his Euphoria performance as it was relatively early on and people were taking a shit ton of videos. He also stayed mostly on the main stage, rather than come out to the extension area near where I was. His abs are just as great in person, and the screams were (as is to be expected), absolutely deafening. They’ve talked about it in shows, but his voice is  SO stable. Obviously they stopped at times and don’t use too much backing vocals, but it sounded EXACTLY how it does on the album. He threw something into the crowd  (I think a banner) at the end, and it FLEW so far-back to P2 or further. They’re not kidding when they talk about how strong he is.  

Final thoughts

At first, I was a little exhausted after my emotional trauma of the prior day, and from standing for so long but the minute it started I forgot everything else. I was salty when I couldn’t see that much bc of people recording (esp when they asked us not to), but I understand the specialness of the moment and wanting to have some tangible evidence that you were there. By the time the concert was over, I realized how special GA was, even if it’s more difficult logistically (since I went solo and didn’t have parents or friends to stand in). I still don’t know if it’s hit me that I was like 10 feet away from them, max. It reaffirmed how important they are to me. I didn’t write this to brag, but to hopefully share my perspective and let others live vicariously through my experience. If you want clarification or anything else, write to me!  

[begonethoughtt]

3.

Lunch is an exercise in focus.

It's the first time you've seen Iwaizumi in person since that first night, but you've talked so much in the last few weeks that there's a feeling of familiarity between the two of you from the moment you lock eyes in front of your building.

Unfortunately, that familiarity doesn't yet translate to existing in the same physical space together. When you first approach Iwaizumi where he's leaning against his car, there's one tense moment after you say hello when neither of you is sure if it's okay to touch, and if so, how much. Should you go in for the cheek kiss like you did on that first night? No, that was a completely different environment--under cover of dim club lights with a dance floor a few feet away where personal space didn't matter so much. Not a public sidewalk on a sunny Sunday afternoon.

You put your hand on Iwaizumi's bicep in greeting at the same moment that he moves in for a hug, but stops short when he sees your eyes widen, likely thinking you were uncomfortable and not just steeling yourself for the much-wanted contact. He chuckles and moves to touch your shoulder instead, but in a fleeting moment of bravery, you move in for the hug instead, standing on your toes to get your arms around his neck and pull yourself close. Your nose settles into the dip of his collar, trying not to be obvious about your deep inhale of that patchouli-cedar scent. Your waist is not small by any means, but when he gets his arms around it, you feel absolutely enveloped.

"You look great," he says when you pull apart. You glance down at your soft pink floral sundress, unaware of how Iwaizumi is doing the same.

"Oh, thanks," you say, hands fiddling with the hem of the skirt as you look up at him from under your lashes. "So do you." He's wearing that same jacket he had on at the club, this time layered over a hoodie, and you do your best not to stare at the way the fabric stretches tight across his chest and arms.

Focus.

That's easier said than done, especially once you get into his car. He's a laid-back driver, one arm resting on the window while the other keeps a relaxed hold on the steering wheel. His legs fall open wide on the seat, stretching the denim of his jeans over his thighs, one of them flexing as he moves his foot between the pedals. You talk about the music he's playing in the car, exchanging stories about the concerts you've both been to over the years.

"I haven't been to a show in so long," you confess with a laugh. "I think I'm too anxious now to go anywhere near a pit like I used to."

Iwaizumi looks at you and nods as you talk, paused at a red light. When the light turns green, he shifts his eyes to the road again as he accelerates. "Big stadium shows aren't my scene anymore either," he says. "I know a few smaller, more lowkey venues that I prefer now. I'll have to show you."

You nod, wide-eyed, reaching under your jacket and fiddling with the strap of your dress. "Oh, I'd like that." Iwaizumi grins but keeps his eyes on the road.

"The banh mi at this place is insane," Iwaizumi explains as he leans forward, looking for a parking spot near the restaurant. "And I figure we can get some snacks to take with us to the park."

You agree that that sounds like a good idea as you watch him pull up in front of a spot and signal that he's going to park. Despite knowing how parallel parking works, you're not prepared for Iwaizumi to put one hand on the back of your seat and turn to look behind him as he backs up into the spot. Once again you don't know where to look, eyes darting between the length of his arm, the long line of his throat as he turns his head to look back, the concentrated furrow of his brow, his other hand gripping the steering wheel and carefully turning it as he parks.

He comes here a lot, which becomes clear as he jokes with the staff behind the counter while you grab a table. You can't hear what they're saying, but sometimes Iwaizumi throws his head back a little and laughs at whatever his friend behind the counter says. He glances around the small space until he spots you at a table by the window and has the nerve to wink at you when he catches you staring.

You quickly avert your eyes and take your phone out, sending an SOS to your friends.

I can't do this, you type frantically. I'll be dead by dinnertime. You open up your reaction pictures folder and send them the one of squidward saying, "oh no he's hot!" You're laughing at the replies, which all consist of the same spongebob meme about finishing your dessert, when you're interrupted.

"Incoming," Iwaizumi says, sliding the tray onto the table.

He's right about the banh mi, you realize. You tell him so, and he wiggles his eyebrows at you in agreement but doesn't talk with his mouth full. He hums every time he takes a bite, and several times, his eyes slip shut as he nods as if affirming his food. He doesn't talk much during lunch, but that's okay--it gives you a chance to look, to adjust to sharing the same physical space as Iwaizumi after weeks of phone calls and video chats. You almost forgot that there was more to him than just a head and shoulders, which is a shame, you realize as you glances at his arms, his chest, his legs that are too long to fit under the table and keep bumping into yours as they encroach upon your space.

When you're done eating, you clear the tray and wipe the table with a napkin while Iwaizumi heads back to the counter to buy some snacks for the park. You watch from the door as Iwaizumi daps with his friend behind the counter before making his way back to you, pushing the door open before you get a chance to.

The park isn't far, so you arrive there shortly, Iwaizumi parking again, although this time you're sure he must feel you staring, judging by the smirk curling the corner of his mouth. Before he gets out, he reaches into the backseat and grabs a couple of blankets, tucking them under his arm. You grab the snacks and get out of the car together, following the signs pointing to where the show is going to be.

You get there at just the right time, it seems, able to lay your blanket out on the grass at a spot not too far from the temporary stage, just before the field begins to fill up in earnest. You're already taking in the setup on the stage, imagining the scenes that are going to play out there soon, and taking a picture to post on instagram. Sat up on the blanket next to you, already reaching for the snacks as he leans back on one hand, Iwaizumi laughs.

"Excited?" he asks, and you can't even bring yourself to downplay it as you smile, bouncing a little in place.

"Yeah, Othello is one of my favorites!" you remind him.

He nods. "Remind me what this one is about again?"

"You want me to spoil it?" you ask, frowning and pocketing your phone.

Iwaizumi laughs at that. "It's over four hundred years old. I think we're past the threshold for spoilers."

You shrug. Fair point. "So basically, Othello and Desdemona elope--:

"Who's Desdemona?"

You blink at him, and start from the beginning.

To your surprise, he actually seems to listen to your every word, no matter how much you ramble or go on tangents, and he even asks a question or two. By the time you tell him about Othello's fate, the lawn is filled with people chattering as the crew gets the last few things ready.

"Cool," Iwaizumi says, leaning back on his hands. "Now that I know what happens I can just try to enjoy the show."

Music starts playing from the large speakers by the stage before you can answer him.

The performance is amazing, and there are moments when you get so wrapped up in watching that you almost forget Iwaizumi is there. Occasionally he leans in to ask you a question, and you glance at him briefly to answer him but try to keep one eye on the stage.

The first time it happens, you look over to find that he's a lot closer to you than you expected as he leans in to avoid disturbing anyone else. This close, you can make out the deep brown of his eyes, flecked with olive green, and you trail off mid-sentence.

Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow and maybe smirks a little. You hope he doesn't notice the way your eyes flick down to his mouth, but you know he probably does.

"What was I saying?" you whisper.

"You were telling me why Iago is trying to help Cassio even though he hates the guy."

You nod, leaning in to whisper closer to Iwaizumi's ear. "He has a whole plan to make Othello doubt Desdemona. If she starts to ask Othello for favors on Cassio's behalf now, Othello is more likely to believe it when Iago tells him later that Desdemona is having an affair with Cassio." Iwaizumi nods and pulls away again, and you focus on the play to stop thinking about how he still smells good, how soft his hair looks.

It's a warm, sunny day, but the sun dips behind the clouds for most of Act III, and the skin on your bare legs prickles with the next cool breeze. You try to tuck your legs under your dress, but it's not exactly long enough and besides, it would be too thin to do much anyway.

Iwaizumi seems to notice this, and he taps your knee, then pats his own lap.

You blink at him. "What?"

"Your legs are cold. You can just put them in my lap if you want, I always run hot anyway."

Your mind wars with itself, part of it listing all the reasons you should, while the other part insists that you really really want to. The latter wins.

You unfurl your legs just as Iwaizumi slips his jacket off, leaving him in his hoodie. You stretch your legs out and drape them over Iwaizumi's lap, and he lays his jacket out over them, his hands remaining under the jacket to stroke warmth back into your calves. It occurs to you that maybe you don't need to be warmed up, if the heat rising in your cheeks is any indicator.

You have a hard time paying attention to the remainder of Act III.

When you glance over during Act IV, Iwaizumi's brow is furrowed as he follows what's going on on stage, frowning as Iago convinces Othello that Desdemona gave her handkerchief to Cassio, his mouth dropping open when Othello vows to kill her.

"She didn't do anything, though," he says, just before Act V begins. You nod.

"She sure didn't."

For the entirety of Act V, Iwaizumi sits cross legged on the blanket, leaning forward and watching Othello's life fall apart. He seems to unconsciously tighten his grip on your legs when Othello smothers Desdemona, and his shoulders slump when she forgives Othello before dying. You find that watching Iwaizumi's reactions is almost more interesting than watching the play itself.

He frowns as the metaphorical curtain closes on Act V. "That's it? Iago just gets to go on with his life while everyone else is dead?"

You shrug. "It's a tragedy for a reason."

You regretfully pull your legs from Iwaizumi's lap to stand and applaud the cast. Iwaizumi stands with you, clapping loudly, the sound standing out even among the crowd of applause. Music plays over the speakers again while everyone gathers their blankets and lawn chairs.

"I was right," he says, dusting off his blanket. You glance over, doing the same with the second blanket.

"About what?"

"It was definitely better seeing it with you."

You pause, the blanket hanging from your hands and swaying in the breeze. "Oh," you say, looking down. "I'm glad."

You walk back to Iwaizumi's car, dropping the blankets and handful of leftover snacks in the backseat before he looks at the time on his phone.

"It's still early, you wanna walk around for a bit?"

You agree and start heading down one of the trails in the park, talking about music again and the play, with you occasionally dropping funny anecdotes from work and Iwaizumi telling you about his attempts at wrangling the national team.

You're talking about the homoerotic undertones between Iago and Othello when Iwaizumi nudges your elbow and points out a breakaway in the trail, leading to a path with low-hanging branches that obscure whatever is behind them.

"What's down there?" you ask.

Iwaizumi shrugs. "Don't know. Let's find out," he says, already making his way down the path.

"Iwa, I've seen enough horror movies to know how this ends. The couples who get too curious about stuff in the woods always get killed off first."

(You won't realize your slip until you're recounting the story to your friends the next day, but if Iwaizumi notices it in the moment, he doesn't mention it.)

Iwaizumi laughs, beckoning you over. "It's a city park, not exactly the deep woods. Besides, I won't let anything happen to you."

You only hesitate for a moment, then make your way over to him. "That's exactly what the guy would say in a horror movie," you mumble as you pass, and he laughs, putting one hand on your back and walking beside you while the other moves branches aside. There's a trellis archway on the other side of the branches, covered in flowering vines. Beyond that, a small clearing paved with gray stones in a circular pattern centering on a small fountain. The area is bordered by trees and a few other trellises covered in flowers and vines, with other plants dotting the garden--hakone grass in a large pot, hydrangeas surrounding the fountain, hellebore bushes encroaching on the edge of the paved area.

"Oh, this is beautiful," you say, quiet enough that you may as well be talking to yourself.

"Yeah," Iwaizumi replies anyway.

You both gravitate to the only bench in the area, wood and wrought iron set in front of a trellis covered with trumpet vines.

"I can't believe I didn't know about this place," you say, taking it in. "I love plants."

"Are you any good at keeping them?" Iwaizumi says, angling toward you in his seat and stretching his arm over the back of the bench behind you.

"I don't know how to answer that," you reply, laughing and reaching out to touch the trumpet vines.

"Would you believe I have a small terrarium that I've managed to not kill for two years?"

"That's so cool! I've never been able to keep succulents...alive…" you trail off as you finally turn to look at Iwaizumi. His face is close again, like it was during the play.

"Hi," you say, quietly, locking eyes with him.

He smiles just a bit. "Hi yourself."

He's looking intently at you, eyes taking in the curl of your hair, your own dark eyes, the lip stain you hope hasn't faded by now. You find yourself thinking this would be the perfect moment to go for it, but you freeze.

"You do it," you whisper, as though he's privy to your thoughts.

You think he must be, because he laughs softly and reaches up with the hand not on the bench to try to tuck one of your curls behind your ear. It immediately springs back into place, unbeholden to anyone's will but it's own. "Do what?" he asks, teasing.

You almost groan under your breath. "C'mon, you know."

Iwaizumi hums. "Yeah, I think I do," he says, cupping your cheek in one hand and closing the distance between you both. His lips are softer than you imagined they'd be, his touch softer. You sigh and turn your head to deepen the kiss, your hands moving up to his shoulders as you pull him closer.

When he pulls away just far enough to get some air but close enough that you feel his breath on your mouth, he hums out a laugh again. "Was that what you had in mind?" he asks, and you nod with a laugh.

"Something like that."

The fountain babbles in the background as he leans in again.

[renegade-skywalker]

Out of the Abyss, Chapter 7

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2  / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7: The Quiet Before the Storm

After years in exile, ex-Jedi General, Eden Valen continues to clean up after Revan and Malak’s mess of a war, only to find herself forever cursed with their unfinished business. As an ill-fated lead brings her to Tatooine, Eden finds that Revan’s mysterious plans go beyond the Republic, beyond the Outer Rim, and into the utter unknown. (A novelization of The Sith Lords and beyond)

Chapter Summary:  General Eden Valen's information has leaked, falling into the hands of bounty hunters, slavers and Republic Agents alike. As Vale and her crew plot their next move, there are already other forces at work threatening their slim chances at success.

3951 BBY, Coruscant

Rell’s eyes began to blur as she scanned pages upon pages of the holonet, tracking several covert forums while listening in on hacked communications – multitasking at her best. She blinked several times in quick succession, cracked her knuckles, and looked over at the row of intelligence officers beside her. They all had that same slack-jawed look about them as their attentive eyes scanned other corners of the holonet, their fingers typing away at commands, controlling remote consoles or looking into any number of leads the Republic was currently tracking.

She exhaled into a yawn before twisting her aching torso in her chair, pleased at the satisfying crack her back made when she turned. Only a few more hours and her shift would be over. Rell cracked her neck and stretched her arms once more before diving head-first into a forum linked to a notorious human trafficking ring orbiting Nar Shaddaa.

There was a certain level of compartmentalization at work as her eyes read queries about “restocked inventory” and “fresh meat”, trying to focus on code words and phrases they were given every few days, and sometimes every few hours, that told them a deal was about to be made. The code words helped her sleep at night, but she knew what they really meant. Despite the distance she kept, she still shivered when she got a lead, resisting the urge to retch when something particularly unsavory crossed her screen. Luckily for her, most of the images ever posted were basic ID photos or mugshots, nothing too graphic – though the “product descriptions” never made for a pleasant read. Whenever a new face came across her dashboard, she flagged and tagged it, and sent it to another department to register and cross-reference with surveillance or security footage. She was doing good work, she reminded herself, but she tried not to wonder just how many faces and files were eventually sent to cold-case…

Most of the faces today cycled from her previous shift, and she tried not to look any of them in the eye, lest she get too attached or too worried. None of them were familiar, though her console told her that most of these files had already been reported by her previously… except for one.

She almost scrolled right past it. It was buried in a message thread about new bounties – and unlike most postings, this one had replies from all over the damn galaxy. Usually, posts about a particular “item” remained within the same sector, or a system at most. Human trafficking was a dark business, but those who ran the rings new that travelling too far ran too many risks. This particular post didn’t have an inordinate amount of responses because it was posted not long ago, but the fact that they were from all over made her chest feel heavy.

Rell scrolled through the responses. Unsavory bounties, usually put on the head of a criminal who didn’t follow through for a crime syndicate were sold into slavery or worse for their “crimes”. Criminals were vindictive, and especially so when they were the on the foul end of a deal-gone-wrong or purposefully-sideways. Punishment for rogue criminals was far worse than what the Republic would do if they were intercepted. Life in prison was always favorable to most any punishment a crime lord could dream up. But this bounty was… different.

The woman’s face was almost familiar to Rell, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. She scrolled through the responses in search of a common interest. Human women were fairly popular among slave traffickers, but why was this one drawing such diverse attention?

Once she read further, she knew why.

“No fracking way,” she breathed involuntarily as the words registered in her mind as if echoing. A Jedi.

Suddenly coursing with adrenaline, her fingers typed furiously in search of more information, looking for the link, the source of the leak. She almost stopped breathing all together…

Rell stared blankly at the screen, the mysterious Jedi’s full profile accessed before her unblinking eyes.

It took her a few moments to think straight. She opened the dialogue box that allowed her to send files to the next department, but found that she wasn’t even sure which department it should go to.

Instead, she uploaded the information to her datapad, threw her headset down at her desk and walked briskly out of the intelligence offices despite the confused stares of her colleagues. She rushed to the main elevators and took it straight to the navy yard, hoping he’d be there.

The rest was almost a blur, her blood thrumming in her veins as she brandished her datapad before the deck officer in desperation.

“But I need to talk to Admiral Onasi immediately!” Rell pleaded, her hand white-knuckling her datapad.

The man was so rattled he didn’t even know what to say anymore, “Agent Amara, I know you’re frustrated but Admiral Onasi is-“

“Right here,” someone finished.

They both spun around to find the veteran now standing beside them, looking tired in his navy fatigues.

Rell almost mauled the man down as she flourished her datapad again, but Admiral Onasi lifted a weary hand, stopping her in her tracks.

“Agent Amara, is it?” he asked, the exhaustion evident in his eyes, “What is this about?”

Rell fell back into habit at Admiral Onasi’s words, stopping and saluting, then stating her name and station before continuing.

“Sir,” she inhaled deeply, “This is about General Eden Valen.”

3951 BBY, Telos IV

For now you will forget me.

Brianna swore that she felt the bitter wind nip at her nose before she awoke in her chambers, alone. Her bedthings were askew, a pillow haphazardly at her feet and her legs tangled in her blanket.

She threw her covers off before examining her fingers, still raw with the cold.

Her dream felt so real, more real than any in recent memory. Brianna had the misfortune of experiencing vivid dreams all too often. She had once believed them to be prophetic but was soon dissuaded by the unrelenting doubt of her sisters, and the slow persuasion of her Mistress. She resigned her delusions and paid her dreams no more mind, and yet, this one felt different. It felt more like a memory and its weight carried over into waking life. It was not odd for Brianna to find herself plagued with the thought of bad dreams upon waking, as would anyone else. Nightmares tended to dictate some portion of the day that would follow, but often in sentiment and not in physical feeling. Brianna felt her feet and found that her toes were ice. Her extremities were freezing, as if she had just come out of the bitter cold.

She emerged from her bed and walked over to her refresher with purpose, kicking her blanket free from her foot as she approached. Her cheeks were red in the mirror, almost bloody in comparison to her porcelain complexion and stark white hair. She stood there, hands cradling her face, as she pieced the vividness of her dream together.

The beginning was muddled. She knew it began with brief images of Atris, the Academy, her father and the imagined face of her dead mother. The rest was where it became clearer… she, Arianna and Orenna were scouting the mountain – which was decidedly odd as they never scouted the mountain, there was never any need. And yet, the three of five Echani sisters explored the mountaintop in search of something, dressed their traditional white attire, becoming one with the falling snow. The air had stilled, falling frozen around her, before Brianna recalled a figure in the fallen flurry, with a face she could almost remember until it all faded, and the last Brianna recalled was the cold sweat of her forehead as she shot out of bed.

Taking a deep breath, Brianna looked at herself one last time before dressing, mentally ridding her mind of the notion that her dreams could have any implication other than that she was different, that she was other, and that she did not belong.

She emerged from her chambers to find her sisters already congregated at the center table, eating in silence. Their eyes lifted in unison, surveying their youngest sister and lingering over the redness of her cheeks before returning to their morning meal. Brianna nodded at them, smiled, though only two of them returned the gesture. A small victory.

Without thinking, she watched Arianna and Orenna as she ate, looking out for signs of redness, any indication that they had been out in the cold. But they were as still and silent as the others, rendered quiet by discipline and their Mistress’s strict schedule.

Brianna was the last to finish her meal, but her sisters voiced no qualm. They were trained not to. Instead, she saw their impatience in their eyes.

She scarfed down the final bites of her meager breakfast, all part of their disciplinary lifestyle, before she pushed her plate away and stood with the rest of her sisters in unison. Without a word, they left the common room and filed into the training hall. Brianna noticed that she left her room’s door ajar, mentally berating herself for being so careless. Being the last in line, as always, Brianna slipped back to close her door before her sisters could notice – only to find Master Atris waiting for her.

“Ah- Mistress!” Brianna gasped. Atris had not been standing there as they rose from the table, and she wondered when her Mistress had slipped into the room. Atris had command of the Force, and though she and her sisters were well-versed in ways to resist its powers, she knew there was more to the Force than she was ready to understand.

“I’m sorry Brianna, but I wished to speak with you alone,” Atris said, her voice soft and sweet, almost uncharacteristically so.

“Bri-?“ she said, surprised, unused to Mistress referring to her by name.

“Brianna,” Atris said again, smiling.

Brianna returned the smile, but was unsure of how genuine it appeared. Fear swelled in her chest and she wondered if it showed.

“I wanted to ask you a few questions, and I have a request.” Atris stated.

“Of course, Mistress,” Brianna replied, bowing slightly. She then resumed her usual stance with the woman before her, finally in control despite her surprise.

“Do you remember the stories I told you? About my old student?” Atris asked, her voice controlled and calm. Brianna stood at attention, but even still she sensed the tenseness emanating off her Mistress despite her best efforts. She tried not to betray her knowledge, and her curiosity, as she nodded in affirmation.

“Good, good,” Atris began, clasping her hands before her as if it were part of a meditation exercise, “I believe I need to ask a favor of you, a favor that relies on your recollection of her appearance, and her most recent whereabouts.”

Brianna nodded again, awaiting instruction. The way Mistress spoke of her old student always felt familiar to Brianna. It was the one time Atris ever betrayed emotion, the one time she was unable to compose herself without practice, making itself imminent. It was not unlike how Brianna felt about her sisters, or so she thought. The pain was evident on her face.

“But I ask that you go alone.” Atris finished.

Brianna remained silent, uncertain. She was about to ask why when Atris continued.

“I need this to remain as discreet as possible. I don’t want you to breathe a word of this to your sisters.”

Atris moved closer, placing a careful hand on Brianna’s shoulder.

“I entrust you with this mission, alone.”

“Alone?” Brianna tried not to betray her inner uncertainty, but her Mistress’s hand stayed her.

“You are not unlike myself, Brianna,” she said, using her name again, “I feel as if only you are up to the task.”

“But-?”

“But what will I tell the others?” Atris laughed, her voice hollow but melodic, like distant chimes on the wind, “You need not worry.”

Atris’ eyes were steadying but cold. Brianna nodded, unfamiliar with anything but compliance.

Brianna’s eyes unwittingly looked toward her open chamber door, catching a glimpse of her skewed bed and blanket. Her fingers and her face were still cold.

Atris extended a hand to her cheek, as if to calm her, but her fingers were cold, too.

“There’s no need to worry about the cold where you’re going,” she said, as if reading her thoughts, “In fact, there’s no need at all.”

3951 BBY; Anchorhead, Tatooine

Erebus felt the void leave Anchorhead, sensing the energies in the universe manifest around it as if it were not there, moving around it seamlessly like water forking before a large stone staked in a river. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t taken up this line of work were it not for his sister and what she did at Malachor V, were it not for what she had become.

His sister’s connection to the Force was always a matter of dark import to the Masters on Dantooine, and a matter of objective scholarly interest to few on Coruscant, but none were brave enough to learn more – save for Master Nomi Sunrider. But when she was called away on business, there were no others who dared get close enough for fear of what his sister’s “bond” might do to them, lest it ensnare them unknowingly and rope in their energies, somehow. He believed it too, once, until Malachor was swallowed whole and he felt the Force gather tenfold in his bones as it slowly left the vestiges of his sister, leaving her to become the walking black hole that she was now – a gaping nothingness that defied the laws of all he knew, living despite what should have killed her.

But she seemed almost better for it, content, as if the universe paying her no mind were the best thing that could have happened. Given how many of the Jedi once looked upon her with uncertainty and unbridled fear, maybe it was. It wasn’t until Aiden embraced his fear and called himself Erebus did he give his sister the attention she had deserved.

In the aftermath of the war, he became unstable, unsure of his newfound power and unsure of what to do with it. Had he siphoned it off her, unknowingly? Had the Force fled her, after the massacre on the Mandalorian moon, and sought refuge in her twin? But the Force didn’t work that way. Despite all his years of research as a junior Jedi Historian and as an acolyte under Darth Nihilus, Erebus was not sure, even now. Perhaps his sister’s Force bonds were stronger than any of them realized, the Jedi and the Sith combined.

His Sith Masters mentioned her often, almost as if she were the birth mother of their darkness. In a way, she was. The Mass Shadow Generator should have killed her, or at least twisted her in the way it did Nihilus and his contemporary, Sion. They both considered Malachor to be their birthplace, as did their old mentor, a woman called Traya. But she was gone by the time Nihilus knighted Erebus and granted him the title of Darth. It was a privilege, yes, but he was still subordinate… for now.

But now he had Eden in his grasp. Still undecided as to whether he would capture her and deliver her to Nihilus in hopes of an increase in rank or just approach her to simply talk, Erebus had staked out her droid repair stall in the meanwhile. She had hastily closed shop before leaving, but his frequent patrols dissuaded any potential burglaries, or so he imagined. He felt her void crawl back towards Anchorhead from the Dune Sea now, but as her emptiness neared, Erebus also felt something else.

The feeling was familiar, and it reeked of Malachor. It was hard to tell whether it had to do with Eden herself or something else entirely.

But that wasn’t the only development in her absence.

Since she had departed, the Exchange posted a bounty on all Jedi. The galactic black market was already alight with rumors and gossip, talk of potential candidates for the reward and word of where Jedi or other Force-users might be found, but there was a particular interest in General Eden Valen herself. Erebus and his Master were both aware, and Nihilus was particularly interested in news of the living Force wound.

Erebus’ skin crawled at the thought. He knew if he brought his sister before Nihilus that she would be subject to countless experiments, tests, and all means of torture in spite of his reverence – when part of Erebus really wanted to keep her all to himself. It was the reason he remained quiet about her upon first arriving, his gut wrenching at the news when her records were released.

He tried looking into where the leak originated to discover its source, but had no luck. Even extending his senses through the Force did no good. All he felt was malevolence and betrayal, and that wasn’t much to go on considering all the Sith or scum that sought such a prize. Despite the setbacks, Erebus knew he had the upper hand. He was the only one who knew she was here, he was the only one aware of her current excursion out to the Dune Sea, and he was the only one keeping tabs on her presence as her emptiness descended upon Anchorhead once again.

The confines of his ship rendered him restless, and it was time that he scout the area before her arrival. Erebus gathered his belongings, clipping his lightsaber to his belt, making sure it was well concealed beneath his cloak, before descending the loading ramp and making his usual rounds.

Energies milled about him, threatening to cloud his senses. After a breath or two, he could track each individual source of life within the city walls to some extent. He walked past the loading docks to the local bar, walking past a scuffle or two before entering the merchant’s district. This portion of the city was always in flux. Different stalls propped up every day as others disappeared into oblivion, but his sister’s shop remained.

Like any other Tatooine settlement, Anchorhead’s population was always changing, but Eden had chosen to stay. It was only in the past few days that he wondered why she was among them. The closer her nothingness approached the city, the more he suspected it had to do with the artifact he had originally come for. She knew, somehow.

Nothing dwelled about his sister’s shop, passersby heeding the ‘gone on business’ sign with some respect, it seemed. He slipped into the back entrance without being seen, and reached out with the Force to explore her residence without stirring a single droid this time.

Her workbench felt the most familiar. Erebus recalled Eden coming to him with her first crafted lightsaber. She was only eight. The pride was evident in her eyes, but the envy was more than evident in his. An absent hand traced the edges of the workbench, resurrecting the memory for just a moment, before he pulled himself away and meditated.

There was energy here, but faint. It was clear that there was something here, but the fact that the area was full of inactive droids and run by a person void of the Force made it feel hollow all the same. Yet somehow, despite the dissonance in the energy around him, it felt comforting. He felt some welcome sense of familiarity he was unwilling to let go of. Erebus almost hoped Eden would never return from whatever journey she had embarked on. Maybe it was better that way.

Then the unease set in, subtle and slow.

Before he knew it, Erebus knew she was on the precipice, at the very edge of the city.

His eyes shot open, his breath quick, his body unwilling to leave this place that felt so much like home – a home he never knew enough to even miss.

Nihilus would be waiting. He’d either capture Eden or let her get away. One of these scenarios ended in veneration, and the other in death.

Despite what ambition had inspired him these last nine years, Erebus stayed his hand, unsure of what to do next, waiting for his sister to arrive and discover him, for the first time since… when, exactly? He didn’t even recall what year their last meeting was, and his mind retreated to the mental place he found when he first discovered the part of him that was Erebus and became him.

The darkness enveloped his senses, quashing whatever sentiment remained, welcoming him like an old friend.

Maybe the decision was not as difficult as he predicted.

3951 BBY; approaching Anchorhead, Tatooine

Vale’s mind reeled as they neared Anchorhead again.

She had retreated to her makeshift quarters under the pretense that she was calibrating what she had recovered from the site the previous day. After encountering the Jawa, Orex ordered that they return to Anchorhead as quickly as possible. They had not stopped once since that meeting.

Vale was the first to meet them out on the sands. She was the only one with a handle on the equipment used to translate their gibberish. She knew a bit herself, but not enough to translate accurately. Even before her translator could do the work, a bad feeling crept over her as the miniature creatures squeaked and squawked at her. The Jawa had not come for the crawler. In fact, they never mentioned the salvaged vessel at all. Instead, they asked what became of their journey to “the untouched village” as they called it. They asked if they heard the voices, and heeded the whispers. Vale asked what they knew of the place, but the Jawa refused to elaborate on anything aside from the fact that they were lucky to leave with their lives. Of Tatooine’s many secrets, this was one they had always known to fear. They had known to stay away from the Star Forge navigational chart buried deep in the krayt dragon dens, but this… this was different.

“The Star Forge?” she asked, her transcoder repeating her words in high-pitched Jawaese.

“The dark one was here,” one of them said, the translation replied in a soothing monotone, “And the one they called Revan.”

Orex stood still beside her, his brows furrowed against the sun, but their eyes met at the mention of Revan’s name.

“The dark one?” she repeated, noting that they mentioned Revan by name but someone else, as well. Malak? But the Jawa ignored the question – whether intentionally or not, she could not tell – and continued.

“The people of before left mechanical maps, but the dark one left something else. The thing you carry is dark and dangerous, like them. The one called Revan came looking, too."

The Jawa wished them luck and sent them on their way, almost as if they were afraid to linger any longer before dissolving into the Dune Sea themselves, preferring the isolation of the sands to the darkness Vale and her crew now carried with them.

She was still unsure as to what their next move was. Who would they contact? Was there any way of destroying these artifacts safely? She had no idea, but she had every intention of finding out as soon as she had access to the holonet, if it were any help.

She sighed in relief as the treads slowed again, marking their return to Anchorhead.

Glitch parked the monolithic vehicle a ways outside of the city. Darek and Orex were already lugging salvaged swoop bikes from the cargo hold for their return. Vale heard the commotion down on the loading ramp, but felt someone watching her from the doorway as she gathered her things.

“What I still can’t figure out is why in the ‘verse Darek would have wanted me on this mission.” Asra stated, crossing her arms. “The hell if I know anything about… well, any of this.”

“Before I even signed on, I knew you were the best shot in town.” Vale said, watching Asra fidget. She couldn’t seem to decide whether she wanted to lean broodingly in the doorway, crack her knuckles or stroke her head-tails. “But really, it might be the montrals.”

Vale nodded at the white-striped blue montrals that protruded from Asra’s head. Like other Togruta, Asra wore a headdress around them – though hers was a simple silver chain with tear-drop beads weighing its linked tendrils in place. And also like other Togruta, Asra’s montrals were capable of sensing where something or someone was, even without the Force.

“You’re probably closer to a Jedi than I am these days,” Vale joked, though the humor fell flat and Asra’s eyes shifted.

“I didn’t know the Jedi could do that,” she said, her voice soft and tentative, “Strip the Force from a person? I may not know what it’s like, but it sounds like it would be horrible.”

“It’s not as bad as it sounds. Well, sort of,” Vale explained as she surveyed what droids remained in the hold, making sure that whatever diagnostics she could use were properly uploaded, “It’s a bit like living without a limb, only the loss of it doesn’t hurt as much as it hinders.”

Asra frowned, confused. Vale sighed, well-aware that she was doing a piss-poor job of explaining the Force, something she hadn’t felt in almost a decade.

“Imagine you woke up one day, and your dominant hand was missing. Not wrenched from you, not sawn off or anything gruesome. Just… gone.”

Asra considered her words, nodding, flexing her trigger finger as if taking Vale’s metaphor to heart. “You go to use it and… it’s not there?”

Vale nodded.

The feeling that flooded her at Malachor was worse than anything that came after. She wasn’t sure what happened, but once she left the Council chamber days later, her verdict ringing in her ears, the Force was void. It did not answer to her any longer, and it was almost as if it was never there. Almost.

Even still, she found herself trying to reach out with the Force at times. She was never skilled with mind tricks or the like, but as a Jedi Guardian she was used to harnessing the Force to enhance her speed or physical skill. Vale had to get used to taking things slow and steady, and accounting for gravity more than she was used to. She was now used to a shock staff more than she was a lightsaber, or so she believed, and a blaster felt more at home in her hand than she ever imagined one would be.

“I’m sorry to even ask, I just-“ Asra started, unable to finish her thought.

“It’s okay, really.” Vale hadn’t expected to make any friends out here, or ever, but from the moment she met Asra, she knew things were different. She tried to keep her distance, but in the past few months she had to admit that it was nice to see a familiar face around. Asra felt betrayed for a moment earlier, but she was trying to understand things now, and that was more than anyone had ever done for Vale, even before her exile.

“I still don’t feel right,” Asra admitted, absently stroking her head-tails again as Vale filled her pack, finding one of the mysterious onyx pyramids among her things, “I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m not familiar with any of this, but-“

Vale stayed her, taking her hand from her pack and laying it gently on Asra’s shoulder. “I may have a history with this stuff, but we’re just as clueless as you are. And besides, I’m-“ Vale swallowed hard, “I’m really glad you were there.”

Dredging up memories was never easy, but Vale had no idea how she may have reacted if she had heard the ghost of Malak in her ear without Asra by her side. Asra looked up at her, appreciative, nodding in recognition.

“I guess I’m glad, too.”

Asra nodded in the direction of the droids, asking without words if Vale needed any more help. The Togruta helped her load some intelligence modules into a pack and load it onto one of the swoop bikes out on the dunes. Darek and Asra exchanged soft glances, and Orex looked at Vale with purpose.

“I think I may have an idea of who we can contact,” he said, though his voice was gruff and unsure. “I’ll need to check on a few things first, and it’s no guarantee.”

Orex and Vale spoke with their heads together, their whispers almost muted by the surrounding sands and the unforgiving winds upon them. Vale thought of Dxun and how the rain would drown out most sounds, allowing enemy troops to approach unannounced, despite their better efforts. She had a momentary flash of memory, of a man in his twenties disarming mines ahead of them, his boots caked with mud and what seemed like a permanent spatter of blood across his chest. Vale shook her head, looking at Orex with a better idea of who he was, once.

“It’s better than nothing,” she said. Orex nodded, his good eye glinting in the suns before he turned on his heel and mounted a swoop bike beside them.

Asra awaited her, ready. Vale swung her leg over the body of the mechanical beast, gripping Asra’s waist as the engine thrummed beneath them. She reached a hand back to make sure her pack was in place, her shock staff snug and secure in the straps. She lowered a pair of goggles over her eyes and nodded at Asra as she coaxed the throttle, sending them forward.

No one batted an eye as they entered the city. They were just another troupe of travelers, no one remarkable or of note. No one could feel the darkness they brought with them. Asra and the others cut their engines once they were inside the city gates, the other inhabitants milling about them without a second glance.

Vale lifted her goggles to rest on her forehead as she dismounted the swoop bike. Asra swung her leg around as well, careening the bike in the general direction of Vale’s shop as they walked. When they approached, the stall was quiet, but something wasn’t right.

Vale had no words for what she felt, or why, but she held up a hand to stay the others. Without words, they obeyed and milled about the market square as if nothing suspicious were happening. Vale approached her shop with caution, walking around the perimeter, keeping an eye out for foot prints or any other evidence that the place had been breached. Nothing caught her eye, but something didn’t feel right.

She lifted the sign she had left days ago, “gone on business”, and tucked it into her pack as she tentatively entered her shop alone. The droids were accounted for and untampered with, so it seemed. Her eyes scanned the area, looking for any sign of intrusion, of wrongness. Nothing jumped out at her. She approached her workspace in the back, and though nothing look disturbed, it felt… wrong. That same feeling of offness struck a chord with her, leaving a bad taste in her mouth, though she did not know how or why.

Asra poked her head in the front entrance before waving the rest of them inside. They had milled about the city center long enough, and it was time they discussed their next move.

Vale sighed as the rest of them filed inside. Darek, Orex and Asra brought their bikes around back and Glitch carefully shouldered the munitions pack onto the counter in the workshop. The others gathered at Vale’s side, after ensuring that the entrances remained closed. In turn, they shared dark glances, though none of them dared touch the pack – they knew not to. But it remained a reminder between them, and it made the air feel heavy.

They brought back more materials than anyone else ever had from the site before, and it wasn’t until now that they could truly remark on their loot, forgetting the more important topic at hand for just a few moments of reprieve and relief.

Darek was particularly excited about some Great Hyperspace War era weaponry, surprised at the near-pristine condition most of it was in. The swoop bikes were another perk, though those were not nearly as old. Glitch mumbled some things to Orex, to which he nodded in admiration though Vale hardly heard a word. Orex ruffled the girl’s hair and Vale wondered whether she was some kind of protégé of his, now that she knew the man a little better. The girl was good with explosives, which, as Vale recalled, was Orex’s specialty as a Republic soldier.

Vale even allowed herself to get excited. Some of the droids at the site were old, but their intelligence modules were still programmed to track moisture harvests with near precision, which was worth its weight in gold out here. She knew a lot of customers who might appreciate such a thing out in these parts, and for a decent price to boot - especially since Vale hadn’t put any money down to buy them. The others talked about the deserted town itself, digging into the lore conversationally as Vale unloaded her pack, happening upon the old relic again. She placed it carefully on the counter before her, watching how it caught the light as the others’ conversation slowed, and they, too, became engrossed in watching on.

“How old would you say is some of the stuff you saw there, Darek?” Vale asked, absently reaching for her work goggles.

“About a thousand years old,” Darek replied, his voice growing softer with each word, “Why?”

“How old would you say this thing is?” Vale said, gesturing towards the miniature pyramid. Darek only shrugged.

She placed her work goggles over her eyes and magnified the lenses so she could get a closer look. Upon further inspection, it looked as if there were miniature binary designs in the onyx, or whatever the hell it was, but she would need to examine the thing even closer before making any definitive conclusions.

“Is there someone we can send this to? Some kind of expert?” Asra asked, the worry evident in her tone of voice.

For a moment, Vale thought of her brother and of Atris, and how they would busy themselves with the datapads, ancient scrolls and books of the Jedi Archives. She wondered if the place still stood, and who was in charge now. If there was anyone left.

“Whoever can handle these things might be our only bet,” Orex said, clearly referring to the crystals stashed safely in the munitions pack.

Vale sighed, lowering her goggles before taking them off entirely, though she was almost tempted to throw them across the room. Resisting the urge, she placed them as gently as she could on her workbench and surveyed the others.

“So who do we go to? The Republic? Is that our next move?”

“Maybe,” Orex said, “Like I said, I still have some contacts there. The Jedi had close ties with the Republic, and I have a feeling that not every Jedi was wiped out at that conclave.”

“Or so we hope,” Vale said, mentally reminding herself not to tempt her curiosity on the matter. Malak was gone forever, yes, but there were still others that she had once cared for that were alive and well before she knew any different. Revan was missing, for one. But she also thought of the Council: of Atris’ stoic stare, full of betrayal and hurt-nearing-hatred; and Kavar’s eyes, a dark and deep sapphire like sea after a storm, heavy with regret. And she thought of Nomi, too, her first Master. In her desperation, she had sought Master Sunrider out not long after her exile, when she still stumbled blindly out on the Rim without the guidance of the Force. But she had no luck. And none, either, when she sought information on her brother and his whereabouts. The last she had heard, however, was that he was no longer on Coruscant, but that could mean a thousand things. She wondered if he, too, had gone to the conclave on Katarr. She wondered if any of them had.

“I’m pretty sure they prepare for this sort of thing. The Jedi would know not to all gather in one place, especially if something like this could happen. It might have happened before, but I'm not sure.” Vale said, vaguely remembering a scandal from around the time that she was first asked to join Revan’s cause that flirted with the idea of a Jedi fail-safe. "Either way, they're definitely in hiding now, and probably impossible to get a hold of."

“And they wouldn’t want to be found,” Orex finished. Vale nodded.

“Who do you still keep in contact with?” she asked. “In the Republic?”

“A few soldiers and techs, you’d remember them,” Orex responded almost fondly, “And they’d be glad to know you were still around, too.”

Vale felt her cheeks grow warm at the thought, but Orex continued without comment.

“Who was that Republic soldier that traveled with Revan?” Vale suddenly remembered before getting too sentimental. “He was a Republic soldier, right?”

She remembered the name had sounded familiar when talk of Revan's return were abound, but the name escaped her now.

Orex nodded in affirmation before saying, “I think he’s a higher up, now.”

“He would be,” she replied, considering the chain of command, “Do you know anyone working directly with him?”

“Pretty sure he’s heading the relief efforts so it shouldn’t be hard,” Orex answered.

“He might be our best bet,” Vale considered, unsure of where her gut was getting its ideas. She was still eyeing the pyramid before her, dredging up memories she had once sworn to bury. She thought of Revan, she thought of Dxun, and she tried to recall nights when Malak awoke in a sweat, screaming. Perhaps he had said something in passing, or shouted it from the depths of his dreams before waking her. There had to be something, anything. But despite what she could recall, Revan was still out there and she was their best hope, their only hope.

Revan had gone missing on purpose, but was this the reason why?

The miniature relic betrayed no secrets, and remained silent and still.

The heat enveloped her, and welcomed her more than the cold ever did. Still, she was instructed to draw her hood – all the better to mask her features, to keep herself hidden and nondescript. Despite the shade, Brianna relished in the plush warmth of the suns basking down on her from above, settling over her cool skin like velvet. She had been cold for far too long.

The hood hid not only her notable features but also the smile that crept across her mouth at the sensation. Her skin yearned to drink in the heat of this planet and let it settle deep within her bones, but she was not to be here for long. She was only here to observe. As per her Mistress’ instructions, there would be a shop ahead, several hundred paces ahead of her – though all she could see were the masses milling about the marketplace. Once in the general vicinity, she would wait for word, and watch. She had never been trusted enough to go anywhere on her own. Despite the ill feeling that plagued her at the thought, the warmth that pervaded her hooded cloak, the sensuous smells of the sand, and even the feel of it embedded in her fingernails and stuck in the crevices of her boots made her feel a little bit more alive and she did not envy the creeping cold back home. It was seldom she experienced anything other than snow, if she were allowed outside at all. The shifting weight of the sand beneath her boots was something so unlike the solid crunching of snowfall underfoot that she was almost entranced enough to forget where it was she was going. Though she was more familiar with what was cold and lonesome, she had seen places other than the mountain. Dense jungle frontier, the pervasive thickness of swamp land, the nothingness of vast plains – and yet the desert beyond this town was something she had never seen. Sure, the prairies and plains of other worlds seemed endless but there was something entrancing about the vast neverendingness of the desert. Unlike other wastelands, this one did not feel empty and she could not explain why. She had tried to divulge her feelings, but her mistress had simply bid her to “Heed not, child,” and she obeyed, despite the very thought of it dogging her brain. A building bearing the same facade described in her mission came into view, even though many of the formations here looked so similar – clay walls topped with burnt orange doors to match the tents overhead and the hue of the sky when the twin suns set. Her steps slowed as she approached, soaking it all in.

The shop sign read as described, and Brianna was not one to admit that she was almost afraid. She stopped and looked about, looking for a place from which to watch safely. Not far off was a food stall and several well-worn tables covered with meager shade. She ordered something she could eat slowly, and parked herself at a vacant table for two. Tempted as she was to watch everything around her, Brianna was drawn to the place she was assigned to keep an eye on, if not for the import of her mission, but for the curiosity that drew her eye there. Beyond its walls was the woman that betrayed her Mistress, the woman who abandoned the Jedi and all they stood for.

Soon, there would be swarms in the market-place, and though Atris already predicted the outcome of the scuffle to come, Brianna was to report the results promptly and not leave a single detail out of her retelling. Brianna watched and waited, eager for the action to unfold.

[choco-chip-cookie]

SugarDaddy!Cal Pt.2

Okay for starters…I made Y/BF/N Jamie because I’m typing this on my phone and typing Y/BF/N is annoying lmaoo sorry. And the anon who originally requested this has asked me to focus this mainly on black girls/POC, so I’m extra hyped.

Also I honestly think I might make this a series? The beautiful and most talented Gabby (@lukeysgirl) kinda inspired me to, but I didn’t have a prompt. Might also steal her idea of a new chapter every 100 notes…what do you guys think?

One/ Two/ Three/ Four/Five/Six/Seven/Eight/ Nine/Ten/Eleven/Twelve/Thirteen/Fourteen/Fifteen Sixteen/ Seventeen/ Eighteen/ Nineteen/Twenty{END}

You checked over your outfit once more in the full body mirror before walking carefully down the stairs. You’ve had more than one encounter attempting to run down the stairs before someone reached your house and it always ended badly.

“You look so pretty!” Jamie grinned as she turned around on the couch to see you.

“All I did was my hair and makeup, Jamie. I have on shorts and a shirt.”

“Can’t ever take a compliment.” She rolled her eyes playfully.“ What time is Calum coming?”

You checked the time on your phone before answering,“Any minute now.”

“You’re excited, aren’t you? I mean there’s a hot, young Australian who wants to be your sugar daddy. How much better can life get?”

“I don’t know. I’m not a sexual person, Jamie, how am I just going to be there at his every beckoning call?”

“You’ll do it, trust me.” She laughed, her smile widening when she heard someone knock on the door.

Jamie hopped up and raced to the door, her eyes widening for a second at being so close to one of her idols. You shook your head at the girl, collecting your belongings and walking over to the door to stand behind her.

“H-hi.”

“Hey.” He smiled,“uh, is Y/N here?”

“Yeah, she’s right here.” Jamie reached back to grab your arm and you smiled nervously.

“Hey.”

“Hey, princess.” He gave you a once over, a slight smirk on his face.“ You ready?”

“Yeah.” You nodded, stepping out of the house and saying goodbye to your friend.

Calum opened the passenger’s door for you and you quickly climbed in, strapping yourself in. He jogged around the front of the car and got in himself, starting the car and driving off.

“Your legs look amazing.” He practically moaned and you felt your face heat up.

“Thank you.”

“You’re a shy one, huh?"he questioned as he stopped at a red light, looking towards you for the few moments he could.

"More like awkward.” You laughed lightly.“ Plus I’ve never been in a predicament where I had a sugar daddy either so..”

“So you are agreeing, then?” Calum smiled and you nodded your head slightly.

“Yeah…just need to set some ground rules.”

“Fuck, this is going to be so much fun.” Calum mumbled under his breath.

You could tell he was beyond excited, his smile as big as a kid’s on Christmas Day. You on the other hand wasn’t as excited as Calum. You really didn’t understand how it worked at all, and it didn’t help that he was basically somewhat a stranger. You were more nervous than anything.

“Yesterday you told me you don’t really like fancy restaurants.” He began and you looked over at him.“So, I figured you’d like a pizza parlor because who doesn’t like pizza?”

“Crazy people don’t like pizza.”

“Exactly.”

It only took a few minutes longer before he pulled up at the pizza parlor. He had told you all about how he and his band mates usually come around here often since it’s secluded and they have the best pizza in town. After the waiter had set you at your table and took your drink order, Calum had asked you to tell him more about yourself. You told him the typical stuff: where you’re from, your hobbies, favorite foods and colors. He never interrupted and seemed as if he found you truly intriguing.

“Are you two ready to order?” The older blonde smiled at the couple and Calum nodded.

“The usual for me, Kelly.”

“Extra cheese or hold off this time?” She questioned.

“Eh, extra cheese wouldn’t hurt.” He shrugged.

She then turned to you with a kind smile.“ As for you, sugarpop?”

Calum snorted at the nickname, finding it ironic to your current situation. As you explained what you wanted on your pizza, Calum scrunched his nose up in disgust.

“Did you say pineapples?”

“Of course.” You smiled.“ What is pizza without pineapples?”

“That’s disgusting.”

“Oh my God.” You shook your head.“ I don’t think this deal is going to work out.”

Calum laughed at this, taking a sip of his drink before speaking again.“ Ive never tried it, but I’m pretty positive it’s awful.”

“Well, I’m just going to have to change your mind.” You smiled and he bit his lip as the two of you stared at each other.

“I can’t wait to get you alone.”

“About that…” you began, reaching up to twirl a coily strand of hair nervously.“ H-How does this work? Like what do I have to do?”

“Oh, uh…I guess as long as you make me happy and do me favors, you can ask for whatever you want.”

“So, if I wanted a Gucci purse I’d have to have sex with you for it?”

“It doesn’t have to be just sex.” He shrugged.“ You could always suc-”

“Refill?” Kelly questioned and Calum tried to hold in his laughter at the expression on your face.

You nodded your head as she poured the drink into the cup and walked away. Calum yelped when you kicked him under the table, not being able hold it in any longer.

“It’s not funny!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want anyone to know about this.” You demanded.“ I don’t want to be in the media or known as your hoe.”

“Already ahead of you on that one." 

"And…” you trailed as you thought of the rest of your demands before you fully accepted.“ I’m not into kinky stuff, so don’t try to over do it. I’ve only had sex a couple of times since I’ve graduated.”

“How old are you again?”

“Nineteen, sophomore in college.”

“Okay, that’s cool.”

You saw Calum’s face light up and the smell of freshly baked pizza filled your nose. You were practically drooling by the time Kelly sat your small dish pizza in front of you and the two of you stopped your conversation to dig in.

“Holy shit, it’s so good.” You moaned as you chewed the pizza, nearly coughing when you heard Calum’s comment.

“You’ll be moaning that a lot more soon.”

He couldn’t help but to laugh at your embarrassed expression, finding your innocence to the situation beyond amusing. You were just glad that due to your melanin skin, your face never flushed red and further embarrassed you.

“I’m starting to think you like seeing me flustered, Hood.”

“It’s quite amusing.” He shrugged.

“Here, you have to try this!” You held a piece of your pizza up and he shook his head.

“No thanks.”

“Come on, Calum, it’s amazing.” You stood to move over to his side of the booth, the slice of pizza still in your clutch.“Take a bite.”

“There’s too many pineapples on that slice. What if I don’t like it.” He tried to reason, but you weren’t having it.

“Taste it.”

“No.”

“Please.” You begged, giving him what used to be your famous puppy pout. You haven’t pulled that one in a while.

“If I taste it, can I get my first favor tonight?”

“Uh…” you looked at the ground.

You have to start sometime soon anyway. You spoke to yourself before nodding your head in agreement.

“Fine.” He gave in, taking a bite of the pizza.

You watched his expression intensely as he chewed the pizza, trying to analyze how he was feeling. After he swallowed, he only stared back at you before leaning in and taking another bite.

“You like it!” You cheered in triumph and he rolled his eyes, playfully, pulling the slice from your grasp.”I told you it was amazing.”

“Shut up.”

You and Calum both finished the personal pans of pizza, laughing throughout the whole conversation the two of you had. Once again Calum helped you into the car before driving you back to your home.

“What type of music do you like?”

“I’m more of a RnB type of girl. Yanno, like Chris Brown, Kehlani, Rihanna.” You list a couple of your favorite artist.

“You listen to any of our music?”

“Honestly, no. The only time I do is whenever my best friend blasts it in the car, but it pretty catchy.” You admitted.“ Maybe we can sit and listen to it together sometime.”

“Sounds pretty cool.” He agreed.“Well, here’s your stop.”

Calum parked his car in front of your apartment complex and you unbuckled your seat belt.

“Quick question.”

“Yes?”

“Do you consider me tying you up or blindfolding you too kinky?” He asked you with a serious face and you blinked a couple of times, deciding on your answer.

“I don’t think there’s nothing wrong with being tied up.” You finally said, giving him a flirty smile and he grinned.

Calum, for the fourth time tonight, jogged around the car and opened the door for you. After you stood up and gathered your belongings, you were startled when Calum pushed you up against the now closed car door. He was so close that you could smell the minty gum he was chewing and the smell of his cologne. Somewhere mixed in was the hint of coconut and you quickly realized that you’d fall in love with the strange mixture.

“Calum..?”

“You promised me a favor, remember?”

Then his lips connected with yours. The kiss was simple, no tongue was even involved at first, but when you pulled back and saw the fire in Calum’s  eyes, you knew you needed more. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss, his tongue darting inside of your mouth the second he got a chance. As your tongues clashed together, mixing the taste of mint and the sweet tea you had brought to go, neither of you could get enough. Calum’s hand trailed down your body, rubbing the sides of your thighs and trailing back up to rest on your plump but, lightly massaging the supple skin there.

“Y/N?” Your neighbor, Connor, and his boyfriend,Felix, stopped with their mouth agape as they saw the position you were in.You pulled back quickly and waved awkwardly at the two, tugging at your clothes.

“Hey, you guys. What’s up?”

“Girl, you’re so coming over for drinks tonight.” Felix winked and the couple began to walk to their apartment.

You sighed and looked back at Calum, wanting nothing more than to have his lips against yours once more. He smirked and licked his now swollen lips, eyeing you like you were the last meal on earth.

“What?” You laughed lightly at the look, pushing your curly strands away from your face.

“I can see you’re not all that shy. You just need the right person to bring the freak out of you.”

“And I’m guessing you think you’re the right person?” You teased and he pulled you close to him once again, but this time his hand snaked down in between your legs.

Praise the lord for shorts. You thought, glad that he didn’t have easy access to your most private part.

“I know I’m that person.” He spoke lowly, his voice raspier than what it was not too long ago. He ghosted his lips down the base of your throat, planting a soft kiss to your collarbone. “And you secretly know it too.”

“Calum, my friends are staring at us through their window.” You almost whispered, not trusting your voice if it were any louder.

Calum chuckled lowly pulling away from you and looking behind him to see that indeed, the two guys were not so secretly peering at you through the window with no shame at all.

“See you tomorrow?”

“Uh, sure. I guess so.”

“Think I want to take you to the park on the other side of town. It’s gotta nice view.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” You agreed.

Calum pressed a kiss to your lips and lightly sucked on your bottom one before going to get into his car. You waved timidly, getting a wink in return before he pulled off, leaving you to recollect your thoughts.

“Who the hell is that, Y/N?!” Connor yelled from his window and you threw your hands up in the air, exasperated.

“What the hell, Connor?!”

“Hurry your pretty little ass up here, Felix is making martinis!”

You simply rolled your eyes, laughing at the situation you were in and making your way up to their apartment. Maybe having a sugar daddy wouldn’t be such a bad idea at all.