#basically shrooms don’t show up lmfao

[bright-and-burning]

ok just realized that i’ve been mixing up cocaine and shrooms for like at least the last year when it comes to how long they stick around to be picked up for drug tests

[borisbubbles]

5. LITHUANIA

Fusedmarc - “Rain of Revolution” 39th place

YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAAAAAAAAAH

 Donny Demontell sang it last year, but right now i’m feeling it. i’ve been waiting for this night. FINALLY I can express my ardent adoration for this crimson cacaphony. <3

As I’m about to start however, I don’t exactly know how to approach this entry and do it justice, exactly? “Rain of Revolution” isn’t really a song, as much as it is a never-ending sequence of tiny nuggets of unintended comedy gold woven into a trainwreck. You really have to be INTO this religious experience to appreciate it, like most entries in this genre (RENDEZ-VOUS ♥ QUIEN MANEJA MI BARCA ♥)

God, do I love this though. Everything, and I do mean everything about this makes me smile, chuckle, laugh, feel fuzzy on the inside etc. Likewise, this write-up will probably end up as a barrage of these funny moments, intertwined with longer paragraphs of text. Be prepared.

HERE ARE *ALL* THE GOODIES ON FUSEDMARC

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LIFE A ROLLACOASTA SPEENING ME ARAWD

WEE BEH GEDDIN FASTA WHEN IZ UPSAID DAWN

*screen slightly veers to the left*

(and then she does her little “TA-DAA” mannerism afterwards as if she’s Houdini and magically twisted Earth into and out of a titled axis <3 GODDESS)

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I have listened to this honkfest an unhealthy amount of times and I still have no clue how “Rain of Revolution”... happened? lol. I mean, I can guess (wodka, lots and lots of weed and probably all the shrooms from the One Hundred Acre Wood as well) but Denisas and Viktorija have such a poor grasp on the English language (as with well, everything else in life, really. Tards <3) that they really couldn’t explain it any deeper than “iz about LAV yes. LAV far yoo end ODDERS *crazy eyes*”  <3 It’s like a weird fusion of The Raspberry Reich‘s “THE REVOLUTION IS MY BOYFRIEND” mantra with Asshai’i shadowbinder realness. <3

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YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAAAAAAAAAH (revolution)

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Frankly, who cares *what* this song is about? “Rain of Revolution” was hilarious even BEFORE its performance began. Shouts to that random woman screaming “THANK YOU” in Ukranian before they start lmfao <3 (I bet it’s the *same* Lithuanian frump who freaked out during Naviband <3)

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They also taught me that when you’re in doubt about your styling choses, dress like Little My and put chopsticks in your hair.

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Omg remember how a *literally* second-rate Aminata song was the fave to win Eurovizija until the juries, like I would eventually, decided that “Rain of Revolution” is fucking hilarious, pushed for its win and succeeded? <3

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 FEEL DA REIGN OV REVALOOSHEN

(lmao @ her head tilt after this mome btw <3 “DID YOU? ARE YOU FEELING REVOLUTIONIZED, PUNK??” -- Dirty Vikki)

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I spoke about passion before, but what about passion so intense it merges with your bad English and causes you to slrrrrrrrr yrrrr wrrrrrds in an incoherent rambletangle of syllables as the energy ELECTRIFIES your into a shorter circuit?

Sample dialogue: “MKIN ASTA MKIN ASTA. MKIN ASTA ENDLED DALUV SHYFRU MMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIII”

Sample miming:

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omg remember that “Rain of Revolution” basically has all the makings of a Nill Points Last Placer the likes of “Sarkim Sevgi Üstüne” or “Nuku Pommiin”? Yet in a year which had FOUR of them, fusedmarc not only weren’t one of them, they somehow collected a whopping 42 points making them the highest scoring Second Last Placer ever ♥ DEITIES  ♥

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DANCE

TO THE

RHYTHM OOOOOOOF

~YOSOUL~

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omg remember how this received AS MANY jury points as Estonia and Latvia did COMBINED <3 so much ownage it BURNS BURNS BURNS like Johnny Cash’s Ring of Fire

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Omg imagine if the Lithuanian diasporia/professional juries had pulled through just hard enough for a 10th place and qualification. It didn’t happen, but the sheer IDEA of hearing “and the next final is... LITHUANIA O__O LA LITHUANIE O_O_OO__O” and watching everyone melt -like the nazi’s in “Raiders Of The Lost Ark”- into puddles of goo due to the consternation still leads to tears of laughter rolling down my face <3  (not that I don’t LOVE their role as a willing cushion for Naviband, which is just as good, if not better)

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LOOKING FOR DA RAISIN... HAMSTER ON DA ROAD....

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Omg remember how the Ukranian broadcaster designed every act (which is why they were so basic lol) EXCEPT FOR LITHUANIA’S because Fusedmarc were terrified that Ukraine wouldn’t be able to GET THEIR VISION ACROSS (ROTFLMAOI’MDYING <333333) So they designed everything themselves and this not only caused “Rain of Revolution” to be even MORE weird than normal, but also fall apart at its seams during the live show. <3 <3 <3  Remember that random camera crew lol?

and here’s the thing in motion

(”NOTHING TO SEE HERE, JUST PASSING THROUGH”)

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Incidentally, I also post on an rtv message board about Eurovision and the posters there have grown to love Fusedmarc SO much that they put them above SALVADOR in the post-season popularity poll LMFAO. (fairly high too, they were 17th overall) So much ownage <3

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At some point, Viktorija also did this (I'm not sure if this is in fact my fave ESC2017 moment, actually?)

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Fittingly, the hilarious beginnings of fusedmarc (however many there were. the composition, that they beat Aisté, the screaming woman in the audience and the thunderclap which introduced the screaming woman on the stage all count as one each) and raging intensity of the live performance call for a lowkey amusing end. Viktorija closes the performance by waving the mic over the flabbergasted audience to capture their uproarious screams of disbelief, unaware, like always, that this actually ISN’T a good sign lmao <3

(btw i love how those impractically long be-nailed fingers can’t even close around a wee microphone <3)

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In sum, BEST LITHUANIAN ENTRY EVER!!!!! *throws heart-shaped confetti everywhere*

Decade Rank: 43/324

THE 2017 RANKING SO FAR:

-ADORE- 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Lithuania (43/324) 6. Hungary (47/324) -LOVE- 7. Moldova (55/324) 8. Italy (61/324) 9. the Netherlands (63/324) 10. United Kingdom (67/324) 11. Finland (68/324) 12. Estonia (71/324) 13. Azerbaijan (84/324) 14. Latvia (87/324) 15. Israel (93/324)

-LIKE- 16. Bulgaria (100/324) 17. Portugal (105/324) 18. Croatia (115/324) 19. Austria (119/324) 20. France (138/324) 21. Poland (154/324) 22. Armenia (158/324) 23. Romania (164/324)

-OKAY- 24. Iceland (174/324) 25. Ukraine (190/324) 26. San Marino (203/324) 27. Albania (217/324) 28. Denmark (228/324) 29. Spain (237/324) 30. Cyprus (240/324) -DISLIKE- 31. Germany (258/324) 32. Montenegro (263/324) 33. Sweden (270/324) 34. Serbia (275/324) 35. Australia (280/324) 36. Switzerland (286/324) 37. Czech Republic (288/324) 38. Malta (291/324) -HATE- 39. Georgia (301/324) 40. Greece (303/324) 41. Slovenia (307/324) 42. Ireland (312/324)