#basil stormshade

[guardians-of-blood]

i’ve been experimenting with texture brushes and my tablet, so here’s so doodles of noir and basil! basil is a wip, he’s supposed to be used for silly memey videos (i drew an entire guideline base, which turned out awful! :D).

i drew basil once before, though not as detailed. his hair is a pain in the ass. and i royally screwed up his clothing in that drawing. basil is a pain in my ass. basil is a pain in everyone’s ass.

noir? noir is precious. noir is adorable. noir is babie. soft vampire boyfriend. he gets a dog too, because he deserves it.

[guardians-of-blood]

even more incorrect quotes!

Celeste: Hey, Sabrina, look at me.

Sabrina: *looks at her*

Celeste: Bitch.

Uxie: Since I'm going to be away for a while, I’ve left you all a complimentary bowl of advice.

Uxie: For instance, “Mesprit, stop doing that” just applies to everything.

Mafuyu: do you sell happy meals?

Nyx: yes we do.

Mafuyu: can I get just the happy, without the meal?

Nyx:

Mafuyu: please.

Vian: Tsubasa and Raymond sitting in a tree

Vian: K-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I

Noir:

Noir: Um

Vian: Did you see that bird?

Mira: You know you can die from that, right?

Hibiki: *smoking a cigarette* That’s the point.

Rayden: *drinking alcohol straight from the bottle* We’re trying to speed this up.

Miaki: *eating raw cookie dough, nods*

Celeste: So what time does the judgmental express arrive?

Nina: *Looks at the clock* Basil gets here at two.

Evil Clone of Celeste: Stab her, she's the clone!

Valkyrie: *stabs the Clone* The real Celeste would never pass up a chance to die!

"Go, period. Fuck, period. Yourself, EXCLAMATION POINT!"

— Basil Stormshade

Ray: What did you say about me?

Ray: *taking out a flower in his hair* Hold my flower.

Tsubasa: *catching the flower* Kick their ass babe, I got your flower!

Nyx: So what seems to be the problem, Saffron?

Saffron: It all started when I was born.

Tsubasa: It’s okay, Keeks. Everyone’s afraid of something.

Kiku: Even you, Basa?

Tsubasa: No.

Celeste: And if you think I’m playing favorites, you’re wrong. I love all my teammates equally

*Earlier*

Celeste: I don’t care for Stormshade.

Azelf: Remember that time you dared me to lick the swing set?

Uxie: No, I said "Azelf, don't lick the swing set," then you said "Don't tell me what to do, Uxie," and then you licked the swing set.

Valkyrie:  *Standing on the couch* The floor is lava!!

Celeste: *HURLS SELF ONTO FLOOR*

Nina: Would you shoot your best friend in the leg for 10 million dollars?

Tsubasa: *To Ray* You shoot me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big ass house and range rovers.

Ray: You can shoot me too, we’ll have 20 million.

Tsubasa: Good thinking, fuck the system.

Mesprit: *out for a stroll* It's a beautiful day...

Mesprit: *looks straight at the camera* but not as beautiful as me.

Mars: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Pluto: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Mars: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Pluto: Is it working?

Haoran: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.

Kuno: Oh. We're going out?

Haoran: Wh...

Kuno: That was so hot, Haoran.

Haoran: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.

Kuno: I'm so in love with you.

Tsubasa: Ray! I can't do this stupid math!

Ray: What’s the math problem?

Tsubasa: Well, we have to add the bed, subtract the clothes divide the legs, and hope we don’t multiply.

Kuno, covering Luther's ears, while Ray smacks Tsubasa upside the head: Not going to lie that was hella smooth.

Lian: Hey Ray, wanna third wheel on my date with Rin tomorrow?

Ray: Sure.

Lian: Tsubasa! Wanna third wheel on my date with Rin tomorrow?

Tsubasa: Sure.

Lian: Great! I've always wanted to go on a double date!

Ray & Tsubasa: ...

Rin: Lian...

Kuno: these towers are quite tilted.

Avery: yes i tilted them myself. see, we tried to make a game, battle royale. but anyway-

Mars: look at this! you ruined *everything* this is all your fault!

Jupiter: AVERY! you- listen, you got any weed on you, man? like, since we're here-

Avery: no! wh- you're the only one who smokes weed here, ray. except maybe ray.

Jupiter: ray-

Kuno: oh

Kuno: SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, MOTHERFUCKER.

*Team PSSN is dining at an expensive restaurant*

Pyrrhus: So you couldn't have ordered a lobster?

Vian: Dude, macaroni and cheese is food of the Gods.

Noir: Yeah, if the Gods are five-year-olds.

Mesprit: So you remember the plan if I ever get shot, right?

Azelf: Of course.

Mesprit: Tell me.

Azelf: In the case of you ever being shot, as you fall to the ground, we are to sing MMMMM WHATCHA SAY no matter the circumstances.

Mesprit: Good.

Basil: There was something that prevented me from having friends when I was a little boy.

Sorrel: It must have been your personality.

Valkyrie: Celeste, are you okay?

Celeste: Can’t I just smile because I feel like it? 

Nina: Basil tripped and fell down the stairs.

Celeste: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.

Valkyrie: I did. I broke it…

Celeste: No. No, you didn’t. Vian?

Vian: Don’t look at me. Look at Basil.

Basil: What?! I didn’t break it.

Vian: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?

Basil: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

Vian: Suspicious.

Basil: No, it’s not!

Pluto: If it matters, probably not… Ray was the last one to use it.

Ray: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

Pluto: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Ray: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Pluto!

Valkyrie: Alright let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Celeste.

Celeste: No. Who broke it?

Basil: *whispering* Celeste, Kuno’s been awfully quiet…

Kuno: Really?!

Basil: Yeah, really!

-

Celeste: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Pluto: Sunshine, what are you doing?

Mars: Making chocolate pudding.

Pluto: It's four o'clock in the morning. Why on earth are you making chocolate pudding?

Mars: Because I've lost control of my life.

b

Hibiki: I swear I'm not cute!

Hibiki: Don't call me that!

Hibiki: I AM EVIL.

Hibiki: I AM THE SHADOWS IN THE NIGHT.

Hibiki: FEAR ME!

Miaki, patting Hibiki on the head: Cute!

Olive Garden employee: Would you like some cheese-

Feliks: *whipping out the cheese grater holstered at his hip* No need, my man.

Arien: I hate falling in love with people in my dreams because then they’re gone forever.

Arien: Worth mentioning that last night it was Ryuk from Death Note.

Elodie: Were you born on a highway? Because that’s where most accidents happen!

Arien: Honestly, I wouldn’t doubt it if you were right

Arien: I’m gay and confused

Arien: Not about being gay, I just never know what the fuck is going on

Arien: Good morning.

Maxine: It’s 5 in the evening.

Arien: Are you serious?!

Arien: I woke up early, I’m going back to bed.

Maxine: You wake up one day with the ability to freeze time at will for as long as you want with no repercussions. What’s the first thing you do with your newfound powers?

Arien: Take a nap.

Maxine: You just woke up.

Arien: Take. A. Nap.

“I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.”

— Arien Chrysalis

Miaki: You have to pick your battles.

Hibiki: One of the battles that we picked was to stop Blade and Rune from running plastic tubes all over the school and placing hamsters inside of them.

Miaki: They were gonna call it Tube City.

Rune: I’m so mad at my brother right now!

Mafuyu: Look, Rune. I never grew up with any brothers, but I know four guys who did.

Mafuyu: They would have fights, but in the end, they always had each other’s shells.

Rune:

Rune: Are you talking about the ninja turtles?

Mafuyu: Of course I’m talking about the ninja turtles.

Vian: Why are you telling me to be homo? I'm already gay.

Pyrrhus: I said “be humble”

Celeste: Roses are red, chocolate is brown,

Celeste: I expect nothing and I'm still let down.

Tsubasa: Okay, yeah, I LOVE Ray! I have loving feelings for Ray. But does that mean I am IN love with him? No-

Tsubasa: Oh my god. I’m in love with Ray

Tsubasa: *to his friends* Why didn’t you guys tell me?

Rin: We thought you knew.

Chalcedony: I know this is random but dom or sub

Vian: I guess Dominos. I don’t go to Subway that much. Don’t see why you’d put them in the same category

Pluto: When people get too chummy with me, I call them by the wrong name to let them know that I don't really care about them.

Tsubasa: That's brilliant.

Pluto: Thank you.

Tsubasa: You're welcome, Bluto.

Lumine: Wow. Vian is so scary. I wonder what he’s thinking about.

Vian: *Internally* Oh FUCK YEAH it’s nugget day.

Burnet: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Lumine: 'Prettiest Smile'

Valkyrie: 'Nicest Personality'

Vian: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Noir: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Axel: Feliks, I’m asking for your permission to marry your brother.

Feliks: What is this, the dark ages? You know what? Since you’ve asked, no you can’t. Beat me in a duel first.

*In highschool*

Vian: I was feeling ok until I realized what day tomorrow is.

Pyrrhus: *thinking about Noir* Another day without him.

Vian: I was just gonna say Monday but ok.

Kuno: *vibrating slightly because he had too much caffeine* Everything in the world is my fault.

Renata: Looks like someone needs to stop drinking coffee.

Kuno: Oh no. It’s only my fifth cup.

Vian: What's your biggest fear?

Chalcedony: Being forgotten.

Vian: Damn that's deep.

Vian: Mine is the KoolAid man but i feel kinda stupid about it now.

Blade: My brother and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other’s-

Rune: -sentences.

Blade: Don’t interrupt me

Kuno, to himself: I love Hao… so much… he's such an important part of my life… I wouldn’t be the same without him… how can I convey that to him?

Kuno:

Kuno:

Kuno: *Sends Haoran a meme out of nowhere at 2 AM*

Kuno: Perfect.

Mars: You’re on speaker. Behave.

Pluto, over the phone: Or what? You’ll spank me?

Mars:

Basil: is something burning?

Sorrel: Just my burning love for u ;)

Basil: The kitchen is on fire, Sorrel

Miaki: can you guys please recommend books that made you cry?

Rune: New General Mathematics

Basil: I hate you

Celeste: Me too bitch you ain’t special

Vian: Did you know you can just start screaming anywhere? It’s not illegal or anything!

Pyrrhus: See, what we're not gonna do is that.

“I think I’ve spent too much time around Blade. I’ve also probably spent too much time sharing his genes.”

- Rune Spooks

Saffron: Who’s the evil twin?

Rune: *without hesitation* Blade.

Blade: *shrugging* Eh.

Pyrrhus: Your calls to the Nintendo hotline are no longer my concern.

Vian: I won’t stop until someone explains why the Mario raccoon can fly!

Vian: *whispering* Don't tell Pyrrhus I made bacon in the toaster.

Pyrrhus: *enters the kitchen to see the toaster on fire* What the fuck happened?

Kayda and Noir: He made bacon in the toaster.

Basil: *falls down*

Basil: I suppose I’ll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.

Vian: If I was trapped inside a room filled with explosives and the only way out was to eat a whole tomato I would die.

Pyrrhus: How the hell would you even get in that situation?

Renata: Maybe we get one magical wish per lifetime and no one knows because we waste it as a baby on extra crackers or something.

Kuno: This is the most terrifying thing I've ever heard.

“I’m living in Crazytown, and Mesprit is the town council.”

— Uxie Perez

Kuno: Ray, is that a hickey?

Ray: Nope, I just got bitten by a mosquito.

Kuno: I see.

Tsubasa: *enters the room* Hey Kuno-

Kuno: Tsubasa, my friend!

Kuno: The strongest mosquito in Terasma!

Tsubasa: Whoa, whoa, whoa. "Boyfriend”? I don’t want to be Ray’s boyfriend.

Kiku: Well, what do you want, then?

Tsubasa: I don’t know. I just want to be with him. All the time. I want to hear about his day and tell him about mine. I want to hold his hand and smell his hair. But I don’t want to be his stupid boyfriend!

Mafuyu: *reading an eye chart* E, H, 4, M, potato, coffee mug, smudge, middle finger, smudge, the rest are all smudges.

Saaya: Oh my god, you drove us here.

Basil: I have spent the entire time I've been in this team being nothing but nice to you people! 

Nina: Today is the second day you've been in the team.

Mafuyu: I learnt something new while I was in the Ichor of the Wild.

Mafuyu: That I don’t wanna be there.

Mikael: I’m THIS close to smacking you.

Feliks: Your fingers are touching.

Mikael: Exactly

Feliks:

Mikael:

Feliks: *runs*

Vian: *poking Noir with a ruler*

Noir: What are you doing?

Vian: I'm measuring your patience.

Hibiki: FOUR MONTHS!

Mira: What’s he talking about?

Rayden: It’s not that big of a deal.

Hibiki: YOU STOOD BY AND WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT FOR FOUR MONTHS!

Adette: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.

Tsubasa: What if it bites me and it dies?

Adette: Then you're poisonous. Holy shit, Tsubasa, learn to read.

Rin: What if it bites itself and I die?

Adette: It's voodoo.

Kuno: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Adette: ..That's correlation, not causation.

Ray: Well, what if we bite EACHOTHER and neither of us dies?

Tsubasa: That's kinky.

Adette: Oh my God.

Kuno: Sorry I was busy playing Minecraft what happened?

Basil: YOU BITCH. THE ICHOR OF THE WILD IS ON OUR DOORSTEP AND YOU WERE PLAYING MINECRAFT!?

Kuno: I WAS FIGHTING THE ENDER DRAGON FUCK YOU!

Burnet: What are you guys gonna be for Halloween?

Celeste: Sad.

Rin: Gay.

Tsubasa: Sexy.

Kuno: Minecraft.

Renata: Also Minecraft.

Ray: Sexy Minecraft.

Tsubasa: Not to worry, I have a permit.

Cop: This just says "I can do what I want".

Nina: Ah yes, the five love languages.

Nina, pointing at Kuno: “My family never told me they’re proud of me”

Nina, pointing at Tsubasa: “I’m so fucking tired please god just let me rest for five minutes”

Nina, pointing at Renata: “I love Girls”

Nina, pointing at Rin: “Please pay attention to me”

Nina, pointing at Ray: “Touch starved”

[guardians-of-blood]

More incorrect quotes! Hooray! (i will add the title later)

Ray: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE

Tsubasa: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially

Ray, desperately, as Tsubasa bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Tsubasa: Oh! B positive.

Ray: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Tsubasa:

Mars: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Kuno: I think you mean cards.

Mars, pulling knives out of his sleeves: No, I do not.

Pluto: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

Mars: Stop romanticizing the past.

Ray: Where are you going?

Tsubasa: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there

Kayda, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Vian: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!

Kayda, with the tone of someone who is used to Vian: Outstanding.

Kayda: This is what I’m talking about people.

Pyrrhus: Vian was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.

Vian: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.

Pyrrhus: Vian, you ate a chair.

Tsubasa: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Kuno's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...

Nina: What's wrong with you?

Celeste: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

Tsubasa, texting Ray: Roses are red, Tony Hawk is a skater…

Ray′s phone, auto-replying: I’m driving right now–I’ll get back to you later.

*Later*

Ray, texting back: Fuck you.

Celeste: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact.

Burnet: ...All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

Celeste: I wish I was a dinosaur.

Valkyrie: Why? Cause they're big and scary?

Celeste: Because they're dead.

Ray: I failed my safety training course today.

Tsubasa: Why, what happened?

Ray: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?"

Tsubasa: And?

Ray: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.

Tsubasa: We all have our demons.

Tsubasa, grabbing Ray: This one’s mine.

"I’ve been sleeping so little the past few nights that when I go to the alarm app, I click on the “power nap” button. I don’t set up alarms, I set up timers, Ray."

- Tsubasa Amanogawa

Tsubasa: I have an idea.

Ray: A good idea?

Tsubasa: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

"You know what’s funny about Ray? He's my best friend, and anyone who’d hurt him is someone I’d murder, probably."

- Tsubasa Amanogawa

Tsubasa: Alright, listen up you little shits.

Tsubasa: Not you Ray. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

Ray: I have no fears.

Kuno: What if one day you woke up and Tsubasa was taller than you?

Ray: I have one fear. 

*on Ellen*

Ellen: So I hear you tweet about wanting to die

Celeste: haha yeah, I do

*Death comes out, creeps up behind her*

Celeste: omg Ellen you didn't 

Kayda: Weird. All my shirts are disappearing.

Noir and Pyrrhus: *wearing Kayda’s shirts for the 5th time in a row* Spooky. 

Celeste: Does anyone have any questions?

Basil: *Stands up* Okay, well I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’ve been going through a lot lately.

Celeste: That’s not a question.

Basil: And I know you’ve often wondered: “Who is Basil, really?”

Noir: Nope, never.

Tsubasa: Until February, I thought your name was Jasper.

Basil: You know, there are times when I look out these windows, and I know you’re all thinking, “What makes the measure of this man?”

Mars: Oh my god, you’d better be dying!

Basil: Look, I’m telling you all, with pride and excitement… and a lot of pride, about the new and improved Basil. Noir, give me a beat!

Noir: Sorry, what?

Basil: When somebody asks for a beat you just, you don't ask a lot of questions. You just get down on it.

Noir: Oh, you want, like, a syncopated thing or, like, a vibey thing?

Basil: Just do it. Hmm? *Basil sings '80s pop rock song about being Bisexual*

*All the Dreamseekers stare at him*

Basil: Oh, come on. You guys aren’t weirded out because I’m bisexual, are you?

Pyrrhus: No, we’re weirded out by the fact that you interrupted the meeting to tell us that.

Celeste: Anyone have questions? Besides Basil, who seems to think that every Dreamseeker meeting is about him for some reason. 

Noir: *Having an existential crisis* Do you know… what it’s like to be afraid of yourself?

Vian, thinking about that time he ate an entire family sized bag of doritos in one evening: God dude I sure do. 

Feliks: Shit, I’m late for school!

Feliks: Oh wait, I’m 20.

Feliks: I’M A TEACHER!!! 

Vian: A spoonful of Nutella counts as lunch, right?

Pyrrhus: Vian, that will kill you.

Vian: I'm only allergic to like four things in it.

Pyrrhus: VIAN!!!!

*somewhere else*

Noir, terrified: What was that?!

Kayda: That was the call of someone who is very pissed and on a mission to fuck someone up.

Basil: So, how’d you convince all of them to betray me? What’d you offer them?

Chalcedony: I asked them if they wanted to embarrass you, and they instantly said yes.

"bitches b like “im baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I’m bitches"

- Kuno Aurich

"So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress"

- Raymond 'Ray' Seidel

Vian: Yum, thanks!

Kidnapper: *puts more tape over his mouth* I said stop eating it.

Tsubasa: *writing a letter*

Tsubasa: Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...

And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.

Ray: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.

Tsubasa: All I drank was Redbull!

Ray: How many?

Tsubasa: Eighteen

Tsubasa: Hey, are you okay?

Ray: Yeah.

Tsubasa: You don't look okay...

Ray: Then stop looking.

Mars: Fight me!

Pluto, standing behind him and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.

Tsubasa: I'm going to fight the next person who insults Ray.

Ray: I hate myself.

Tsubasa: Alright, square up.

Pluto: Know why I called you in here?

Mars: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.

Pluto: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

Pluto: When's the last time you slept?

Mars: Uh... a few days ago, I think.

Pluto: A few- how many?!

Mars: Uh... *starts counting on fingers* I need more fingers...

Pluto: What you need is sleep!

Kuno: When you’re gay in your house with nobody else, you’re homolone

Ray: When you’re bi and there’s nobody else around, you’re biyourself

Basil: Please stop

Feliks: Top 30 reasons Feliks is sorry. Number 5 will surprise you.

Mikael: TOP 30 ANIME DEATHS. NUMBER 1, YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!

Leni: Ray, are you high?

Ray: Am I what?

Leni: High.

Ray: Hi.

Pluto: So what’s for dinner?

Mars, staring at the food he just burnt: Regret.

Pluto: Am I in trouble?

Mars: Take a guess.

Pluto: No?

Mars: Take another guess.

Pluto, standing with his back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Mars.

Mars: How did you do that without turning around?

Pluto: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

Pluto: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.

Mars: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.

Pluto: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

Mars: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Pluto: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Mars: No! Four to five seconds!

Pluto: Too late!!!

Pluto: I was arrested for being too cool.

Mars: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

Pluto: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Mars: Thank you

Pluto: I didn't say that was a good thing

Mars: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

Pluto: Okay, truth or dare?

Mars: Truth

Pluto: How many hours have you slept this week?

Mars:

Mars: ...Dare

Pluto: Go to bed.

Mars: I don’t like this game.

Mars: I’m going to take you out

Pluto: great, it’s a date!

Mars: I meant that as a threat.

Pluto: See you at five!

Mars: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Pluto: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Mars: Absolutely not.

Pluto: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.

Mars: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

Pluto: Okay, help me please!

Mars: Got two words for you.

Pluto: I bet they won't be helpful.

Mars: Your problem.

Pluto: I was right

Kuno: Why did you give Luth a knife?

Tsubasa: He felt unsafe.

Kuno: Now I feel unsafe.

Tsubasa: Sorry.

Tsubasa: Want a knife?

[guardians-of-blood]

Incorrect Quotes: Bloody War Edition, Volume 1

i do not have all the sources, and there's a lot. i put them under the cut!

Basil: What goes up but never comes down? Celeste: The number of mistakes you make on a daily basis? Nina: Your level of self esteem? Valkyrie: The rate at which you destroy things? Basil: I was just going to say your age, but okay that works too. Celeste: I don’t really have friends. Valkyrie: Bold words for someone within hugging distance. Burnet: You have to apologize to everyone. Basil: Unfuck you, or whatever Celeste: I've invited you here because I crave a deadly game... Valkyrie: *nodding* Knife Monopoly. Celeste: I was actually going to have them play Russian Roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever Knife Monopoly is. Miaki: Hibiki, can you do something for me? Hibiki: I would literally cover up a murder for you, plant my DNA at the crime scene, and take the blame for the crime. Miaki: Great. Can you do the dishes for me? Hibiki: No. Celeste: when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, it’s ‘intelligent’ and ‘really cool’ but when I do it I’m ‘petty’ and ‘need to move on’. Celeste: I'm into dark humor Valkyrie: *turns lights off* Valkyrie: wanna hear a joke? Celeste: I have a plan but I need your permission. Burnet: Since when do you care about getting my permission? Celeste: Oh, I don't care. I just want to blame you if it goes wrong. Celeste: At my funeral there is going to be a closed casket and then it will be opened to reveal that I am not inside. Instead, they will turn on the ceiling fan and my lifeless body will swing around the room while the Space Jam theme song is playing in the background. Celeste: …Nevermind, Valkyrie says I can’t do that. Valkyrie: If you were to die, what would your last words be? Celeste: finally Valkyrie: Well I made this friendship bracelet for you. Celeste: You know, I'm not really a jewelry person. Valkyrie: You don't have to wear it. Celeste: No, I'm going to wear it forever. Back off. Celeste, young and naive: I hope something good happens Celeste, now: I hope whatever bad thing that happens is at least funny

Kayda: Hah! 69! You know what that means? Noir: What? Pyrrhus: That you're a child. Vian: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!? Pyrrhus: How did none of you hear what I just said? Kayda: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Noir: I got distracted about halfway through. Vian: Ignoring you was a conscious decision. Pyrrhus: You lying, cheating, piece of shit! Kayda: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD Pyrrhus: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING NOIR WITH ME Vian, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now. Store Worker: Would a Mr. Pyrrhus please come to the front desk? Pyrrhus, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker: *points to Kayda and Noir* Store Worker: I believe they belong to you? Kayda and Noir, simultaneously: We got lost :( Pyrrhus: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me- Noir: Kayda, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Kayda: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later Noir: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Pyr. Kayda: Whaddya call a fish with no eye? Pyrrhus, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons Kayda: Kayda: fsh Noir: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate, or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate? Pyrrhus: I’m a ‘I’m not paying $600 for photoshop’ pirate.

[guardians-of-blood]

Basil who hurt you and made you so mean?

(plz ignore my bad handwriting. this was a test run. will modify things in future asks.)

[guardians-of-blood]

Incorrect Quotes: Bloody War Edition, Volume 2

Here you go everyone. Some more incorrect quotes for everyone.

*Valkyrie is drawing at a table as Basil walks by*

Basil: What is that? Is that your fucking fursona? That’s cringe.

Valkyrie: YOU’RE CRINGE!

Basil: *tears up*

*cuts to Basil in the bathroom in tears*

Burnet: So, how’s school going?

Celeste: I wake up every morning but I feel dead inside.

Burnet, uncomfortably: Ooooh, uh, oh, spaghetti-o’s…

Renata: It’s hard being the mom friend sometimes, but I love my friends and that’s what matters-

Kuno: Rena! I tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and I broke everything!

Burnet: So, you know how you love me because you haven’t had a single meeting with anybody since I became your assistant?

Burnet: That’s because every time someone calls and requests a meeting with you, I always schedule it for March 31st.

Everhart: Why?

Burnet: Because I didn’t think March 31st existed.

Everhart: So, then, how many meetings do I have today?

Burnet: 93.

Vian: I’ve only slept nine hours over the past four days so I’m right on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Vian: *bites his phone*

Vian: This isn’t a bagel.

*Celeste is working in the cafeteria as part of her duties*

Noir: Hello! Do you serve happy meals?

Celeste: The only true happiness comes in death.

Pyrrhus: You’re not talking any sense into me. You’re just cheering me on to disaster.

Vian: Is that not half the reason why I’m your best friend in the first place?

Renata: The worst drug to crave is wanting to be loved.

Kuno: I don't think that's true... Meth is pretty fucking bad

Renata: I just see Kuno grabbing tons of savory items. He looks like he’s never made a cake in his entire life.

Kuno: I HAVE NEVER MADE A CAKE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!

Renata: I relate to Belle because she loves to read books and loves people for their souls.

Kuno: I relate to Tinkerbell because she needs attention or she dies.

Ray: I have an idea. It’s very uncool, but it’s not illegal, technically. But it IS a dick move

Kuno: I love it

Renata: You look terrible. When did you go to bed?

Kuno: I passed out at 11:30.

Renata: Okay, that's not that bad—

Kuno: Then I woke up an hour later for a snack and played Mario Kart with Ray and Rin until 4:30.

Renata:

Kuno: I'm ready for the lecture—

Renata: YOU PLAYED MARIO KART WITHOUT ME?

Nina: Penny for your thoughts?

Basil: My thoughts are worth more than a penny!

Celeste: No, they really aren't.

Kuno: I release a pack of dads into home depot and tell them ‘Go… be free.’

Renata: An invasive species encroaches on lesbian territory

Ray: This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores

Kuno, setting down a card: Ace of spades

Renata, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Ray, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you

Rin, trembling: What are we playing

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Kuno: Shit.

Renata: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Ray: OH MY GOD RIN FELL OFF!!!

Renata, about Rin: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.

Kuno: Are we stealing them?

Ray: New or used?

Renata: Wonderful responses, both of you.

[guardians-of-blood]

Celeste Underwood - Mini-Bio

Basic Info

Name: Celestia ‘Celeste’ Colette Underwood

Name Origin:

Celestia/Celeste: Heavenly, of the sky

Colette: French origin, meaning ‘people of victory’

Underwood: From someone who lived in or near the woods.

Gender: Female

Age: 17

Race: Human

Birthday: April 29th

Dynamic: Alpha 

Scent: Fresh Blood

Blood Colors: Scorpion #695F62 and Dark Burgundy #770F05

Abilities: None

Appearance:

(Gacha Concept)

(Drawn)

TBA

Allegiances and Combat Info

Nationality: Luctish

Current Residence: Kaldsne

School: Frost’s Guidance Academy

Team: Team VNUS

Weaponry:  Zweihänders

Relationships

Sexuality: Pansexual Panromantic

Relationship Status: Single

Family: Sabrina Underwood (Twin Sister)

Teammates: Valkyrie Combat System, Nina Bendette, Basil Stormshade

Known Staff: Crispin Everhart (Frost’s Guidance Headmaster)

Other Info

Faceclaim: Kisara Tendou from Black Bullet

Voiceclaim: Celestia Ludenburg from Danganronpa: The Animation

Pinterest Board: https://pin.it/6MyqO7t

Link to full bio (TBA)