#bastardly pills

[warsamongthestars]

Original Character profile time!

This is Brexpy, the (fanon) 5th Member of the Bad Batch.

His enhancements are Speed, Flexibility and Reflexes; along side a time perception shift and thought process focus (mix Bullet Speed Slow Mo with Sherlock Holmes’ Thought scan from 2009; and that’s it). Weaknesses include: - Nerve Spasms. Occasionally exhaustion takes him, but the adrenaline leaves him a shaking mess. Luckily these events are rare in adulthood, but were problems in his childhood. - Insomnia. The constant needs of movement interferes with his sleep. He has to start taking pills for it. - High Metabolism. Can’t keep up with speeds like that without having to down some major carbs. Doesn’t ever get bigger no matter how much he scarfs. - Low Fortitude. Unlike the rest of the TBB, Brexpy can’t tank hits or hold ground for any length of time. If he can’t think on his feet or react quickly, he goes down fast. - Weak Blood Vessels. Sometimes, the physical pushes he does when performing will burst the weakest blood vessels. He often may remove his helmet with a nose and face running with blood. Sometimes that even includes the eyes. He has a reputation for looking demented on long, stressful missions.

His role in the Bad Batch is Stealth Expert, and Backup Scout. He climbs, he gets into places, he does what he needs to, and he fucks off. This makes him work well with splicing expert Tech, or to cover / be covered by the Sniper Crosshair. He’s more often paired with Crosshair, as Crosshair’s sight can keep up with Brexpy in both motion and distance. Crosshair is often the One-Shot needed to get Brexpy out of a bad situation, and Brexpy can reach the high places Crosshair has to help out if overrun. - TRIVIA: They like being snippy with each other (Crosshair says something bastardly, and Brexpy fires something right back; Crosshair is perceptive, but Brexpy is quick).

He’s backup Scout, as Hunter’s senses regarding electromagnetic radiation and Magnetoreception makes it difficult to navigate urban environments. Brexpy can run and parkour like a sunnuvabitch, making him ideal in on City Worlds and Ships.

Brexpy is the Shortest, at 5′8 feet or 1.73 meters, marking him as possibly the shortest full grown clone (All other Clones are 6 foot / 1.83 meters; even Hunter is 5′11 / 1.83). - TRIVIA: For a while, he feared that his chosen name was going to be “Short Ass”. Luckily, this did not become the case. - TRIVIA: Wrecker has made it a game to get Brexpy in a hug. Brexpy dodges and jumps about, but its often within Wrecker’s space as to make the game “fair”. Occasionally, Wrecker wins, with much loud rejoicing. This mostly came out Brexpy being so Small in comparison to Wrecker. - TRIVIA: Crosshair pulls no punches in making fun of Brexpy’s height. But if any Regs tried, they’d get decked.

His name is actually shortened. His full name is “Break Speed”, but that’s a mouthful. He got it because, in his youth, he had a hard time stopping himself when running, and ended up going body first into walls on several occasions.

His Equipment is primarily a small proto-Bryar Pistol, with illegal overload modification (Like a pre K-16... You know the one, Dark Forces fans), and a Vibroblade. While he is trained in blasters and rifles, his stealth and speed require agile precision or ending conflicts quickly. - TRIVIA: Think of splitting Sev from Republic Commandos into two people; the Sniper side goes to Crosshair, and the melee to Brexpy. - TRIVIA: ... Does this make Brexpy Scorch? Is he gonna be voiced by Carth Onasi?

As a character for TBB, Brexpy fulfills a mix of the Funny Guy with Lancer. In spite of being very active in action with a constant desire to move or dive into whatever curiosity of the day he’s found, Brexpy has seemingly lazily smug attitude.

He’s Rash and Quick to Temper when compared to Hunter and Crosshair’s cool and quiet natures. Both he and Crosshair are Snippy, but where Crosshair Jabs, Brexpy jokes. Though that doesn’t mean that Brexpy won’t snap something at the wrong time, he’s just a lot quicker to feel bad about it.

He’s Moderate intelligence to Tech’s Genius, but often requires Tech to either get to the point or slow down-- Brexpy’s Job can’t take fields of text and still be successful, he doesn’t have time for an entire paragraph.

Brexpy and Wrecker are easily excitable, though to compare, Brexpy is a lot more coolheaded than Wrecker is. Still, they’re prone to competition. You can occasionally catch Brexpy rambling about something to Wrecker.

Between Brexpy and Echo, there’s a lot of arguments. Echo is soldierly, but thoughtful, in comparison to Brexpy’s quick and often automatic reactions. Echo is more a people person, where Brexpy tends to be suspicious around folks he doesn’t know. Echo will follow Regulations and Orders, while Brexpy tends to filter Orders with careful “deafness” and general Common Sense. In Escort Missions, Brexpy often has to act as Echo’s second Hand (While Crosshair is the Eye in the Sky).

Unlike Hunter, Brexpy quickly loses focus or is hyperfocused. He can’t sit still to do paperwork to save his life, tends to nod off in long briefs or during Tech’s lectures. But if he’s on mission, you can nearly expect him to be awake for Days.

As the Stealth Expert, he can be surprisingly Patient and Perceptive, and can even sit still long enough to make insightful observations. He’s made a habit of breaking into places, even if those places are his own bases of operation (He believes that you should always know how to break into your own spaces). - TRIVIA: He was prone to sneaking off and around Kamino, and was infamous for being frustratingly difficult to catch when caught.

As the Primary Melee Weapon User, he’s trained in both the Vibroblade and hand-to-hand combat. He acts and reacts according to his target’s weaknesses, and fights dirty. If he can’t cut you down, he’ll put you down.

Under the Chip, His Stealth expert goes straight into Assassin Territory. He moves fast, jumps fast, reacts fast, and goes in with a Vibroblade. This is a soldier meant to face Jedi face-to-face, and keep up. He goes for the Weaknesses, and he will not relent.

Narrative wise Brexpy is Dead during the currently show timeline (Dubbed the “Dis Line”). He died thanks to complications after his first growth cycle with his enhancement, so he never made it off Kamino. His heart simply beat too fast for his body to keep up, and he dropped.

The picture shown above, where Brexpy is lighting a cigarette on a trophy lightsaber, is the timeline where only He survives and not the BBs. This is the “Luka Line”, where the Dark Forces Saga takes place, and Brexpy is one of the last surviving Clones. His Jedi, were it an official assignment, would first be Morgan Katarn, then inherited Kyle Katarn after Morgan’s death. Brexpy is that one asshole who breaks into a place before Kyle, and lays ammo and Bacta in convenient places, but never cuts down most of the enemies.

[kathyrinehankin]

A BETTER PLACE

Dear Nurse Mike and the other nurses who's names i do not remember.

I remember the walls of the prison called a psychiatric unit like what I ate for breakfast -- it's clear and hasn't settled in my stomach well. Periwinkle painted on these walls, a sickening green within group rooms, colors unknown in one of them for ages. Only when the man who occupied it was transferred, struggling and writhing because her had been interrupted from his daily sprints, did I see the color of those inner walls, the light streaming through them as group became:

"Who can create pain with their words the fastest?"

It was in group and in seeing how they handled the man that I began to learn the extent of the evils of humanity. When there were no more questions to ask and no more answers to give, he was shipped away like cargo to:

A BETTER PLACE.

What is a better place? It should be safe, butter yellow, good food, a vacation from the mind. Not filled with monsters with PhD's and uneducated guesses as they smoke and sign death certificates before looking me over, 14 and not anorexic enough with an atypical (Bipolar) depressive disorder , for not more than five minutes before taking chart notes and ignoring the signs.

Signs of rapid cycling due to anti depressants. Cycling in general because depression is not the only state. Mania, served on a silver platter but ignored.

Because ignorance is sometimes A BETTER PLACE.

Nurse Mike, the good ones, the two Nurse Becky's -- Becca's? Taking me seriously, Becky/Becca 2 holding me in her arms as waves of panic and undiagnosed mania crashed over me. Mike guiding me to the lounge chair as tricyclic death became a possibility, blood pressure akin to a car accident victim but really, I was only a victim to poor choices of pills.

A BETTER PLACE, where all of the nurses are like Nurse Mike and Nurses Becky/Becca, where the food tastes like melted sunshine and I am not threatened by tasers and security when the overwhelming inundation of panic and manic waves becomes too much.

Perhaps that is the problem. These zombies, banshees, and goons that call themselves, nurses, social workers, and doctors are reflections of being undead in a ward of dying. A spin cycling situation in which it only really ends when they sign the piece of paper that confirms another aching brain and perfect soul left. Are you numb, doctors? Are you bitter, nurses? Why not follow those who walked me through the ward with gentle smiles and a determination to get me out-of-this-place.

A BETTER PLACE. Not back-at-home, not anymore, but rather a reprieve from the memories, the half dreams, the darkness that found its way into my bedroom after spending six weeks tied to my own misdiagnosis.

Depressed and terrified, because something else was wrong, voices hiding in my thoughts and hallucinations leaving my nightmares, walking on two feet and standing taller than me.

Nurse, nurse, nurse, living among undead, good still carried in your heart and the dying not lacing the perspective in your head, you saved me from myself, in the Ungodly time of parents frustrated to the point of leaving me in a world where fears came to life, doctors so convinced that they were good people that they couldn't see past their nose and process the pain, the other nurses and social workers acting out beyond their parts in a play that was already macabre.

I wish you could see me now Bipolar I and proud. My disability is my super power and I have the capability to create past the walls that trap medical staff and patients both, concoct A BETTER PLACE and write the bastardly demons away. I am alive and not undead any longer, like you, you, you, who helped me live among the darkness and death

- by Kathyrine Hankin, based on my time spent in an adult psychiatric ward at 14.

[truthbeetoldmedia]

The 100 6x06 “Memento Mori” Review

Along with its impeccable world building, what Season 6 of The 100 has done so well is remind us that no matter how strong one’s moral compass is, every action has a reaction. Monty’s words to “do better” may be lingering in the minds of all of our heroes, but then again, they weren’t exactly expecting to encounter body snatchers in their new world.

Episode 6x06 of The 100, “Memento Mori,” written by newcomer Alyssa Clark and directed by P.J. Pesce is reminiscent of the “old” The 100 in more ways than one, but with a Sanctum twist. There are equal parts lore and moral conflict, and a pinch of backstabbing thrown in for good measure.

Heart Over Head

Try as he might to remain rational and think with his head, Bellamy was certainly not expecting this curveball: Clarke is dead. Josephine restrains Bellamy in her bedroom, and we can tell once she’s thrown Murphy in there with him that it’s been torn apart. While Murphy attempts to subtly convince Bellamy to stay and take the mind drives for the rest of their people, Bellamy has a one track mind. Clarke is gone, and there’s no bringing her back. (Or is there?)

It’s heartbreaking to see Bellamy mourn Clarke in such an outward way. We missed this in the years lost on the ring, and even in the brief moments we did see him grapple with her death, it was clear he was going about it logically. After all, Clarke had just told him to use his head. Now though, after Jordan has reminded him that his heart is what allowed him to be such a heroic and inspiring person, his head seems to have taken a back seat in his processing.

Though Bellamy tells the rest of Spacekru at the end of the episode that they must do what Clarke would want and survive, it’s likely he won’t be able to stick to that for long, at least I hope not. Murder is wrong, kids, but this has been a long time coming. Bellamy’s passion is what makes him such a standout character. That version of him resurfacing would be the cherry on top of such a good season.

Once a Cockroach, Always a Cockroach

The tagline of the season is “Face your demons”. While for Madi this is the Dark Commander and for Diyoza it may be her likeness to Hitler, for Murphy it’s what he’s seen in the afterlife and his unwillingness to go back. This is a character that has cheated death so many times that’s he’s never perhaps grappled with the thought of his own mortality. Now that he knows there’s a way to cheat death forever, he must decide whether to be the hero or slay his demon.

It isn’t surprising in the least that Murphy has taken a deal to save himself. After all, this is his trademark. Even he knows it. However, it’s difficult to tell if his motives will change at any point in the season. What does Josephine have to do to lose him? Though Murphy acts in this episode like he can deal with losing Bellamy, we’ve seen just how ferociously loyal he is to those he loves.

When Clarke, Abby and co. threatened to test the nightblood solution on Emori back in Season 4, Murphy literally had to be restrained. He promised he’d kill Clarke if anything happened to her. Now more than ever, Murphy has a family. Something tells me that as much as he refuses that fact sometimes, he won’t let the Primes harm them — especially since he’s witnessed death firsthand.

Murphy has always been an unpredictable character though. Just when he seems the most bastardly and selfish, he bends and does something to save someone. I wouldn’t be surprised if Murphy turned into the hero of the season.

Echo, Emori and Raven

When Josephine tells an oblivious Echo that Bellamy has gone into the forest on a scouting mission, she’s suspicious but she takes the bait. Josephine figures this will buy her enough time to sway Abby and get the nightblood solution, but she still sends Jade to follow Echo.

While Echo is ultimately looking for Bellamy, she finds herself mercy killing someone who’s quite literally being eaten alive by a tree and learns about Josephine/Clarke from Jade. While it’s nice to see Echo go off on her own and have an independent storyline, it’s short-lived when she returns to the compound and reunites with her friends.

However, we still got a brief taste of a possible new pairing: Echo and Jade. Both spies, they have the potential to either grow closer as they empathize with one another, or play a very entertaining game to see who can gather more intel. Either way, I’m seriously hoping we get more of these two.

Meanwhile, Raven and Emori help Ryker, a Prime, work on the radiation problem. However, once Raven knows about the body snatching, there isn’t much working at all. While it’s understandable that Raven would question the morality of this all, the argument seems to go in circles. Ryker defends the way of the Primes as a significant aspect of Sanctum culture, and Raven argues its immorality.  

Raven doesn’t seem to persuade Ryker, but it’s possible that his mind may change later on and he may become a key ally in helping our heroes to defeat the Primes and get Clarke back. He seems the most willing of the Primes we’ve met to break, anyway.

The issue here is that Raven continues to argue that she’s done nothing wrong, she’s innocent, and she has no demons. She can’t realistically keep up this facade forever, no matter how much she projects onto other people. Raven is a character that needs a serious reality check, and soon. She was once one of my favorites, but I’m beginning to lose hope that Raven can redeem herself from all the bitterness and egotism.

The Mysterious Spiral

Also in the forest are Octavia, Diyoza and their new friend Xavier. Octavia has been exposed to flares that rapidly aged her hand, and the aging is rapidly spreading. Xavier fears she may only have hours before the aging spreads to her mind, killing her. So, the three unlikely confidants search for a possible cure. It turns out that Xavier is a fan of homeopathic medicine. He collects the sap from a tree to apply to Octavia’s wrinkled skin, and while it doesn’t exactly help, her hand does begin to twitch uncontrollably.

The gang soon discover that her tremors aren’t random at all. In fact, they’re forming a spiral that shows up elsewhere in nature, and inked on Xavier’s skin. He says this anomaly called him and it is calling Octavia now.

While it’s unknown what exactly the anomaly is, it’s likely that it will give Octavia some kind of purpose she didn’t have before. Maybe it will even encourage her to live. Octavia’s demons are arguably the most difficult to face of any character on the show, so she likely needs some strong ammo to fight back.

I have to note that watching Octavia and Diyoza’s unlikely friendship blossom has been nothing short of a treat. This is a pair so many were hoping for at the end of Season 5 when they had a brief interaction in the Eligius ship, and one that is definitely not disappointing now. Diyoza and Octavia both have a lot to regret, so it only makes sense that they help each other get their humanity back.

Befriending the Dark Commander

Not knowing that Clarke is dead, Madi struggles in this episode with a commander who won’t let up taunting her. Gaia calls him Sheidheda, the Dark Commander. While in a deep meditative state, Madi speaks to Sheidheda and attempts to reason with him. However, he acts as the metaphorical devil on one’s shoulder, encouraging Madi to kill Gaia before she herself is harmed. Madi questions his words, but once she wakes up in chains, she seems to second guess herself. And when Madi learns that Clarke is dead (in the most heartbreaking scene, might I add), something clicks.

Madi banishes Gaia, and with Sheidheda now by her side, plans to kill everyone in order to avenge Clarke. While half of me was jumping for joy at this new heart-heavy side to Madi, the other half of me was frozen in place, worried about what may become of her without Gaia to guide her, and with this new, evil spirit guide.

Lola Flannery’s performance as Madi in this episode was magnetizing. My eyes were completely glued to the screen during her scenes. Even the most innocent of characters like Madi and Jordan have been forced to face their demons in Sanctum, which means that Lola has had to show a whole different part of her range. It’s always exciting to watch actors explore different sides of their characters, like Marie Avgeropoulos with her rendition of Blodreina last year.  I’m anticipating many more Madi scenes worth singing praises about in the near future.

Mother Knows Best?

Still in the dark about Clarke death is her own mother, Abby. Abby has been so preoccupied with finding a way to save Kane that she’s ignored every suspicious thing Josephine has said to her. While Josephine originally believed that Abby would be her most difficult challenge, she’s actually been the opposite. Josephine takes Murphy’s advice and uses all of Abby’s demons against her, bringing up her addiction and her questionable decision to sell out her husband on the Ark.

Josephine doesn’t just taunt her with her past actions though. She tells Abby that she fears what will become of her if she loses Kane too and reminds her that she needs her mom. Abby falls for this hook, line and sinker. I have a theory that once Abby finds out about Josephine and learns she was the last to know, her priorities will shift. Her real demon should be what she’s done to her daughter. She can probably live without Kane, but can she live without Clarke, knowing she’s, at times, been an arguably bad mother?

Can’t Get You Out of My Head

When Murphy tells Josephine’s dad on her, she’s forced to bargain with him and give him the mind drives. Instead of dwelling on the impending shitstorm coming her way, Josephine ends her day by telling herself tomorrow will be better, taking a mystery pill, and laying her head on her pillow. When she closes her eyes though, Clarke is alive inside her mind! And then: boom, out.

I never had a doubt in my mind that Clarke would be alive somewhere, somehow. After all, she’s a fighter. This could be of course because Clarke is a synthetic nightblood and this may not pair with the memory drive as well as a natural born nightblood would. If this is the case, it would certainly spoil Josephine’s plan.

So there’s a way out of this for Clarke. Now the rest of our heroes just need to figure that out and hurry up!

Once again, this episode left me speechless in a way that only The 100 can. Right now, there are a bunch of unconnected storylines all taking up equal parts of screen time. I’m eager for that moment when they start to intertwine. I suspect that Gabriel may be the missing link in all of this. Perhaps he’ll have a way to save Octavia and even get Clarke back.

Stray Thoughts:

I miss Jordan. I can only suspect that given his situation with Delilah, he won’t want to just try to survive. Maybe he’ll even team up with Bellamy and Madi to get Clarke back (wishful thinking?).

Bellamy sitting outside by himself crying was so heart wrenching but so, so telling. That’s all I’ll say about that.

Josephine and Bellamy saying “Shut up Murphy” at the same time was excellent.

Where is Indra this season? I miss her and her words of wisdom dearly.

Jessica’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

The 100 airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on the CW.

[va-va-valuse]

@caeboa i just really appreciate his character development after everything that happened *w* with peko gone he had literally no one that would really even talk to him so he decided to tear down his ugly walls of off-putting childishness and legit apologize for being a fucking pill. granted he was WAY over the top about it but he was showing sincerity the only way a yakuza like him would really know how. he weakened himself drastically in front of people he did not know that well in hopes of showing them he was honest and willing to start over with the life peko had given him and be friends instead of being this bastardly, mysterious enigma that was only known for... being a bastardly, mysterious enigma lol

[defendinggalahd-blog]

💔 securiis

Angst meme (x) - ClosedResult: 65@securiis

These nights were becoming too frequent. Ever since Nyx had joined Libertus back in Galahd- ever since he forced his best friend, his love, off of those bastardly pills- nights were definitely the hardest. 

Nights where when Nyx woke up to screams. Nights where when Nyx looked over and saw Libertus with his eyes rolled back in his head, jerking around violently and Nyx was helpless to do anything but watch. Nights made Nyx want to cry, want to get angry, want to give up and storm out of here and mourn what was once his best friend. 

But no. Nyx was going to get him back. He’ll stay through all of these rough nights, put each day behind him as a day Libertus hasn’t gone back to the comforting numbness his pills brought him. Each day was a victory, a day Nyx drug Libertus a little bit further out of the dark. 

“Sssh, ssh... I’m right here.” He coos sweet nothings as his hands run through sweat-soaked hair, allowing Lib to cling to him and work through whatever emotions ran through his head. 

After a while, Libertus grows quiet. He’s not asleep, Nyx can tell that much, but he’s relaxed, and it’s better than where they had been. Nyx takes a long, deep breath, letting Libertus listen to the steady thrum of his heart. 

I’m not leaving you.