#baze malbus x gn!reader

[uwingdispatch]

Healing

Healing

Notes: Baze Malbus/Reader, gender neutral reader, everyone lives au, post-rebellion, hurt/comfort, chronically ill/disabled reader, domestic fluff, fluff and angst

CW: canon-typical violence, chronic illness, chronic anxiety, implied PTSD, implied depression, hospital setting, mention of alcohol consumption

Ao3 Link

★★★★★★★★

“Little bird,” Baze says. “I need you to stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

You’re at the med center, the sterile scent of disinfectant making you want to climb the walls. You hate this place, you hate that you’re here, you hate that your partner is recovering from a splenectomy that had been completely avoidable. You have his hand in yours nonetheless. Bacta will heal most of the body rather quickly, but re-growing a human spleen is a notoriously difficult process after a certain age and as you wait to hear from the doctor about cybernetic options you can’t help but feel grateful that this happened on Chandrila and not in hyperspace.

“Like as soon as you have the opportunity you’re going to throw Chirrut out a window.”

“You and I both know I don’t have the physical strength to do that.”

“But you want to.”

“Maybe.”

You’d been here since the wee hours of the morning after taking a cab across town with your LEP droid. Baze brought Ellie home a few weeks ago to make sure you’d always have help in an emergency, after you had a particularly bad panic attack. But today the droid is helping you navigate this unfamiliar med center on the opposite side of town because Baze went out with old friends last night and managed to injure himself in the stupidest way you could imagine.

Ellie, who’d shut down and plugged herself into the charging port when you and Baze started arguing earlier this morning, comes back online and totters over to you, asks if you have been hydrating.

“Honestly, I’ve let that slip,” you say. “Thank you for reminding me. My husband let his intoxicated friend toss knives at him in a bar last night and it’s kind of thrown off my whole day.”

“I am aware of this,” Ellie says. “I suppose you have not eaten either. I will go and retrieve a sandwich.”

The droid leaves the thin-walled med room, perhaps having given herself a task just to avoid enduring another argument. You feel a bit guilty. Her model is notoriously conflict-averse, but you’d barely slept the night before and you can’t remember the last time you were this upset.

“She’s really taking to you,” Baze says. “I wish she’d bring me a sandwich.”

You let out a long sigh. He’d be home already, against medical advice, if you hadn’t been here to insist he stay another night as recommended. You run a hand along his cheek, tracing the line of his jaw, as if you have to confirm that he’s real, a corporeal being in front of you. When you tuck a lock of hair behind his ear, it’s soft and familiar and if you close your eyes you can almost imagine that you’re at home. But you’re not, and it’s taking every milligram of power in your body to keep from crying.

“When you didn’t come home last night…I was so scared,” You say. “Nobody was answering their coms and I thought maybe you were in a speeder wreck, or a shoot-out or…I don’t know. I just thought something awful had happened and I would never see you again and now knowing how close that came to being true—”

“But it didn’t. I’m right here.”

“You’re an idiot.”

Baze takes your hand in his, brings it to his lips and presses a kiss to your knuckles. “Chirrut should have called you.”

“Someone should have. Long before the med center did.”

You’re going to have to call Chirrut to apologize when this all shakes out. You let anger get the better of you when you arrived at the med center last night and parted on bad terms. As angry as you are, it sits wrong in the pit of your stomach.

“I know I kriffed up,” Baze says. “I used to wake up every day with death right in front of me. I forget sometimes that…it’s different now.”

“I’m trying to understand,” you say. “But…I need you, Baze. I need you to not create danger for yourself. I need you to come home to me.”

The tears you’ve been holding back begin to fall and there’s a shift in Baze’s demeanor, like he’s finally coming out of a fog.

“Please don’t cry, little bird,” he says, sitting straight up in bed. You’re afraid he’s going to upset his sutures, but before you can say anything he’s facing you, wiping your tears away with his thumbs. He wraps both of his strong arms around you and you let your head rest on his shoulder. “I love you,” he says in a low voice. “I’ll always come home. I promise.”

*

You hadn’t been so worried about your partner in years. There was an incident, maybe a year after you’d met. Though no longer in the Navy, Baze occasionally joined relief missions as a civilian volunteer. Anytime the Republic was sending aid to Jedha, you knew he was going to go—and you couldn’t ask him not to, either. So many people had to be evacuated every few months as the moon’s environment rapidly destabilized, and while the destruction he witnessed broke his heart, he told you these trips were part of his healing—making sure Jedhans were safe.

And it usually went smoothly, with Baze primarily serving as an extra pair of hands, sending you a holo every day to let you know that he was safe, and that he missed you. Occasionally he was able to call and you could reply in real time. But this trip was different. Faulty intel had led the New Republic to believe that there were no Imperial forces left on Jedha, but you found out via holonews that an Imperial remnant had detonated a bomb in the area Baze was supposed to be. Soon after, coms were jammed in most of the system. All you could do was wait.

Those eight hours without hearing Baze’s voice felt like a lifetime. When he finally got in touch with you, he seemed taken aback by the level of your distress, but eager to reassure you that he was okay and would be home soon. In what could only be described as a stroke of luck, no civilians had been injured. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d prayed, but you found yourself thanking the Force for keeping the man you loved safe.

Your life had been so different from his—you’d never been in combat, never been shot at, never heard a bomb go off in your neighborhood. You both forgot this sometimes—you’d grown up worlds apart in more than one way.

Baze returned to Chandrila two days later, making his way to your apartment soon after. When you opened the door, he swept you into his arms. You felt like you couldn’t be close enough to him, and when he kissed you, a shockwave went through your body. Tears welled in your eyes and as you began to weep, Baze pulled back.

“Hey now,” he said. “I’m right here, little bird. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You can’t know that,” you said.

He took your face in his big, rough hands and said, “I can’t imagine a life where I don’t come home to you.”

“I want that. More than you know.”

“Marry me,” he said.

“What?” You were surprised, having always suspected that if you talked about marriage you would be the one to bring it up. That he might need convincing. That maybe it wasn’t even on the table.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I didn’t think this would surprise you.”

“You want to get married?” you said. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything, little bird.”

You kissed him again, tasting the salt of you tears, a welling joy warming your cheeks as you tangled your hands in his hair, the scruff of his beard a comforting sensation as your lips fit perfectly to his, soft.

“Is this a yes?” he asked, his forehead pressed against yours.

“Yes,” you said. “Very much.”

*

You think sometimes that Baze doesn’t so much miss his days in combat as he needs to remind himself that he survived. That maybe after a few glasses of wine, with old friends, being the body around which someone would land their knives was a bit of proof for him that he was still here.

When you met he was wearing heavy armor and carrying a cannon—not a blaster, but a cannon—with a heavy fuel tank on his back. Now he carries guilt and anxiety. He also carries your heart.

In the morning, Baze is discharged. You take a cab home and as soon as you get through the front door he’s in the kitchen, getting out eggs and butter and asking you what you’d like for breakfast.

“I’d like you to go sit down and let yourself heal,” you say. “I can make us breakfast.”

He sighs, barely concealing the pain as his chest expands and contracts with the deep breath. The cybernetic surgery had taken only hours, but it would be days, possibly weeks, before his body felt normal again.

“You need your rest, too,” he says. “You’ve barely slept in two days, and I know your back is sore even if you’re not telling me.”

He’s right. You’ve been concealing your chronic pain as well as you can, but Baze is more perceptive than most, and he knows you better than anyone.

Ellie retrieves Baze’s datapad from where he left it the other night—then waddles down the hall to charge. You suspect her battery isn’t all that low, but that she’s emotionally exhausted. And you can’t blame her—it’s been a rough couple of days to be your support droid.

Baze settles on the sofa and eases you into his arms as you scroll through menus together. After a stretch of silence, he says, “I don’t know what I’d do if it had been you.”

“Hm?”

“If you hadn’t come home, if you’d been hurt and I’d gotten that call from the med center in the middle of the night.” He runs a hand through his dark hair, letting out a deep breath. “I’m so sorry, little bird.”

“I know,” you say, taking his face in your hand, drawing him into a kiss. “Your body is strong. But I need you to remember that you’re not invincible.”

His eyes are warm as he caresses your cheek with the tips of his fingers, and you can’t help but smile when he looks at you like this—like you’re both falling in love with each other all over again.

“I might be done with Corellian wine,” he says.

“Yeah?”

“Terrible hangover.”

You’re too relieved to be mad at him now, and you sweep a few wayward strands of hair away from his face, wondering how, in this enormous galaxy, you managed to find each other.

“Are you sure you won’t let me make you breakfast?” he asks.

“Let’s get something from that diner,” you say. “The one with the really fluffy waffles.”

“Okay, little bird,” he says, settling in next to you. “I’m going to make this up to you.”

“I believe you,” you say.

“Good.”

Baze loops an arm around you, pulling you close. When he presses a kiss to your forehead, his beard tickling your skin, the feeling of safety that you’d been missing starts to return. You lay your head on his chest, his steady-beating heart bringing you a bit of calm after so much stress. This is peace—you, Baze, the tooka cat asleep under the window, the little droid charging down the hall. This is the peace you’d always hoped for but never knew you could have. And you’ll do anything in your power to protect it, to nurture it, to make sure that this man with his coarse hands and his big heart knows he will always be deserving of your love.

★★★★★★★★

Thank you so much for reading! I'm so pleased that so many of y'all are enjoying my Baze fics. I hope this makes you feel seen and loved.

Tagging: @princessxkenobi​ @zinzinina @galaxtic-writings @r1-sw-lover @laserbrains @waterpancakeao3 @strwrs @phoenixhalliwell @maul-ologue @infinityrevengers @greatcaesarsghost

[ladyxskywalker]

April 2022, part. one

thank you to the amazing fic writers for sharing some wonderful stories with all of us ! & to the kind readers for their support. 💙

please assume that all works & the blogs they belong to are 18+ only

mature adult content will be marked with a double asterisk **

be sure to check all warnings & tags before reading, feel free to skip if something isn't for you

& of course, enjoy responsibly

all the love xo A ☕

please send me things to read ! favorite fics or something you've written that you're proud of ! 💌

find more monthly fic recs over on my masterlist May 2022 coming soon ! ✨

please let me know if you would like to be removed

✨ new authors & characters added for the first time !

✨ some authors are mentioned more than once throughout the list, check to see if your works are there !

STAR WARS

✨ Anakin Skywalker

prompt – place: in the water reason: life or death by @labyrinth-runner (mermaid!reader)

✨ Armitage Hux

The Trick by @mylifeisactuallyamess (f!reader)

✨ Cobb Vanth

What Our Scars Remind Us by @flightlessangelwings (tbobf) (gn!reader)

✨ Din Djarin

Affection by @lightsinthedistancee (gn!reader)

The Covert by @juletheghoul (cam boy din) (f!reader) **

The Greenhouse by @lowlights (victorian era au) (gardener!din) (f!reader) **

Just Loss by @dvnvln (f!reader)

More Than A Feeling by @mandelirious (gn!reader) **

Siren by @ezrasbirdie (gn!reader)

prompt – ‘vanilla/slow, soft’ kinktober by @letterfromvienna (mand’alor din) (f!reader) **

✨ Grogu

Little Cold Fingers by @anxiety-riddled-mando (grogu, din x oc)

✨ Kylo Ren / Ben Solo

Discothèque by @clydesducktape (hannibal au) (dr. kylo ren) (fbi forensic consultant reader)

If I Asked You to Stay, Would You? By @a-reader-and-a-writer (f!reader)

Man or a Monster…? By @mylifeisactuallyamess (soulmate au) (ben solo) (f!reader)

✨ Luke Skywalker

Don’t Make Me Choose (two parts) by @full-time-make-believer (gn!reader)

Welcome Distractions by @full-time-make-believer (gn!reader)

✨ Obi Wan Kenobi

Brewing Tea & Sandstorms by @laserbrains (gn!reader)

Light in the Dark (series) by @purelyfiction (modern au) (doctor!obi) (f!reader)

Stranded (series) by @penfullofwordsaheadfullofstories (afab!oc)

To Dwell on Dreams by @spicemaidenfic (jedi!f!reader) **

Turbulence by @star-whores-a-new-hoe (afab!reader) **

Up All Night by @vi-does-stuff (a/b/o au) (alpha!obi) (omega!f!reader) **

✨ Original Characters

Stars in their Multitudes (series) by @jedi-valjean (star wars) (les misérables) (original characters) (original jedi characters) (original imperial characters) (twi’lek characters)

✨ Poe Dameron

If The Galaxy Was Ending by @starryeyedstories (gn!reader)

No More Wasted Time (series) by @againstacecilia (modern au) (afab!reader) **

You Almost Died And You’re Making Jokes? by @a-reader-and-a-writer (gn!reader)

Your Love Is Sunlight by @acedameron (f!reader) **

prompt – relief after a dangerous situation by @dailyreverie (gn!reader)

prompt – seeing you in a new dress by @dailyreverie (f!reader)

ROGUE ONE

✨ Baze Malbus

Healing by @uwingdispatch (chronically ill) (gn!reader)

✨ Bodhi Rook

Warm Hearted by @uwingdispatch (chronically ill) (gn!reader)

TRIPLE FRONTIER

✨ Benny Miller

Dancing in the Rain by @waywardimpalawriter (plus size!f!reader)

Three Strikes and You’re In, Crush (series) by @rayslittlekitten (benny x ofc) (will x f!reader)

Why Ya Wanna (sequel to Dancing in the Rain) by @waywardimpalawriter (plus size!f!reader)

✨ Frankie Morales

Our Little Secret (series) by @icanbeyourjedi (f!reader) **

Saccharine by @forever-rogue (f!reader) **

✨ Will Ironhead Miller

Coach Miller by @marvelousmermaid (platonic!bff!will) (f!reader)

Modern Muse by @rayslittlekitten (photographer!will) (fiancé(e)!gn!reader)

Patience by @ohheyitsokay (f!reader) **

✨ Santiago Garcia

A Little Bit of Hope (Part 1) (series) by @artemiseamoon (f!reader)

prompt – ‘that’s it, that’s my girl’ by @autumnleaves1991-blog (f!reader) **

see part two for more multi fandom fic recs ! moon knight, pedro pascal, charlie hunnam, amazing spiderman, bridgerton, marvel

[uwingdispatch]

Taglist!

Hi y'all! I finally set up a taglist! Up until now I’ve just been tagging friends and people who reblog or regularly like my fics. But I want to make sure that everyone who wants to be tagged and people who don’t want to be tagged are both getting the interactions they want.

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Below I’m tagging all the folks I would be tagging if I were posting a new fic right now. So let me know what you’d like in the future!

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@writingbylee @waterpancakeao3 @princessxkenobi @aerynwrites @belfry-bat @phoenixhalliwell @r1-sw-lover @laserbrains @zinzinina @darthanakn @disastersim @infinityrevengers @lovedbyth3sun @usernamesarebitches @maul-ologue @operation-spot @writeforfandoms @akgracemk @noclue32 @littlemousedroid @strwrs @saveatruckrideoptimusprime @galaxtic-writings @mintpurplemnm @multifandom-fic-rec-blog @septimaseverinafavfanfic @itsallrandomcontent @myfandomlikesandstories @stormkobra-5 @ahookedheroespureheart @withasideofmeg @littledragonlady​